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(Click Orlando)   New poll shows 49% of parents take money from their children's savings accounts, 34% dipped into their kids' piggy banks. Nearly 100% of those kids already selected their parents' nursing homes   (clickorlando.com) divider line 192
    More: Sad, piggy banks, savings accounts, home  
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2111 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2013 at 9:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-08 11:52:23 PM  

SpiderQueenDemon: I had that problem for the longest time, because my folks were really poor. They never wanted to borrow money from me, but I'd see them panicking about the bills, and Mom had already taught me to keep a little checkbook of my own, so I'd intercept things between the mailbox and home and cover the power or the water bill out of my babysitting money and say nothing until Mom or Dad would realize it was the fifteenth and they hadn't gotten the bill, panic, and I'd sort of pull the "isn't it under the keyboard on your desk where it always is?" thing and there it would be, marked 'paid' in a badly-forged version of Dad's cursive.


This is a surprisingly heartwarming story. Thank you.

ladyfortuna: I had a savings account growing up, and by the time I got to high school it had maybe a couple of thousand in it. Then I met a friend who LOVED shopping and went with her to the mall, and fell into a mindset that I could buy whatever I wanted for a few years. Basically drained my own account which was supposed to be for 'college'. After I got my spending under control though, I realized that the money that had been in there would have helped for maybe two semesters at most. So I still feel stupid about it, but not as much as I did back then.


Be happy. :-) Not only did you learn that lesson (that's what mistakes are for anyway), but you did it by whittling down savings instead of going into a credit card spiral of doom!
 
2013-05-08 11:54:51 PM  
I have to have my eldest son loan me cash from time to time. I don't normally have cash and I like to support the kids selling stuff door to door in the neighborhood.

Little pain in the neck charges me interest! A seven year old that understand reasonable return on investment!! So. Very. Proud.
 
2013-05-08 11:55:06 PM  
$5/$50 per week of my daughters' piggy bank is "Daddy's Little Bender" funds, so I'm okay with this.
 
2013-05-08 11:56:38 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Little pain in the neck charges me interest! A seven year old that understand reasonable return on investment!! So. Very. Proud.


You should teach to this individual the Enron incident and declare the investments of he are now worthless.  LAUGHTER OL the lesson of the time of life.
 
2013-05-08 11:57:38 PM  

pianomom: Meh. I personally know parents who open credit cards and cell phone accounts in their childrens' names because their own credit is so bad. Good luck explaining to your 18 year old why he doesn't qualify for anything when he goes to get his/her first credit card, car, loan, house, etc.


You know my parents, eh?

Yep, they had past due telephone and electric accounts in my name (accounts were opened when I was 8 years old).  Oh, and my step-mother had forged my signature on some checks she had stolen from my checking account, overdrawing my account by nearly $1,000.
 
2013-05-08 11:59:21 PM  
Am I the only one who never had a savings account as a kid? I didn't get allowance or anything, and any money I got as gifts was usually just enough to buy some candy.
 
2013-05-09 12:01:36 AM  
I actually worked for that money, too. Which is probably why I have such a strong antipathy toward working now.
 
2013-05-09 12:02:32 AM  
It's a great way to get your kids out of the house. Parents did this to me all the time. Still do in fact but now they have to ask.

Moved out at 18. Never went back except a brief 2 week stint after moving cross country and waiting for new job to start.

Definetly not bad parents and always support me emotionally but terrible with money. I strive to learn as much as I can from outside sources. Suggestions for sourcea of practical finance knowledge welcome.
 
2013-05-09 12:02:54 AM  

Repo Man: "If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus" - Jack Handey


"One day johnny woke up late at night and heard his parents arguing about their money problems.  It was then that he knew what he had to do.  He took his Piggy Bank, and buried it in the back yard so they couldn't get their grubby mitts on it." -- Jack Handy (from memory)
 
2013-05-09 12:04:22 AM  

meow said the dog: The Stealth Hippopotamus: Little pain in the neck charges me interest! A seven year old that understand reasonable return on investment!! So. Very. Proud.

You should teach to this individual the Enron incident and declare the investments of he are now worthless.  LAUGHTER OL the lesson of the time of life.


Oh hells no! Then next time Daddy needs a thin mint fix the bank wouldn't be open!!

I wouldn't put it past the kid to take a whooping to keep his bank roll safe.

Raised him right! And his little brother is learning faster then he did.
 
2013-05-09 12:07:18 AM  

Coastalgrl: It's a great way to get your kids out of the house. Parents did this to me all the time. Still do in fact but now they have to ask.

Moved out at 18. Never went back except a brief 2 week stint after moving cross country and waiting for new job to start.

Definetly not bad parents and always support me emotionally but terrible with money. I strive to learn as much as I can from outside sources. Suggestions for sourcea of practical finance knowledge welcome.


"Rich Dad Poor Dad"

And anything Dave Ramsey says
 
2013-05-09 12:12:21 AM  

Coastalgrl: Suggestions for sourcea of practical finance knowledge welcome.


Any particular topics?
 
2013-05-09 12:26:22 AM  
Any change that shows up at the bottom of the washing machine is MINE!
 
2013-05-09 12:30:38 AM  

SpiderQueenDemon: Martian_Astronomer: Here's the simplest way I can put it: One of the main reasons that you give a kid a piggy bank (or, when they get old enough, one of those teenager savings accounts,) is to teach them to be responsible with money, delay gratification, prioritize what they spend it on, etc. If that money can disappear at any time without warning, the kid is going to learn exactly the opposite lesson that you're trying to teach them: Spend all your money as soon as possible, because if you try to save it, mom and dad will just re-appropriate it anyway.

/ I mean, if you're really cynical about life and want to teach your kids not to trust the banking/finance industry, that'll probably work well, but...

I had that problem for the longest time, because my folks were really poor. They never wanted to borrow money from me, but I'd see them panicking about the bills, and Mom had already taught me to keep a little checkbook of my own, so I'd intercept things between the mailbox and home and cover the power or the water bill out of my babysitting money and say nothing until Mom or Dad would realize it was the fifteenth and they hadn't gotten the bill, panic, and I'd sort of pull the "isn't it under the keyboard on your desk where it always is?" thing and there it would be, marked 'paid' in a badly-forged version of Dad's cursive.

They knew, of course, especially as I started getting on my younger siblings for running the water too long or not turning things off when they left rooms, but they were kind enough not to say. Eventually I succeeded in getting two regular after-school babysitting clients who employed me five days a week, and I'd just take all four kids to one or the other houses at what worked out to the magnificent sum of $11 an hour, and most Fridays and Saturday evenings I had work as the parents went out. I covered more and more bills for Mom and Dad, until the month I finally picked up every single utility, a medical bill and the mortgage, leaving Mom and ...


Great story.  I didn't grow up poor, but there was rarely any extra money.  My dad taught public schools back before the unions got strong and the schools started paying a good salary (which is one of the reasons I get extremely annoyed at teachers who whine about their "low" pay these days).  I never had the moral strength to pitch in, but I wasn't making much when I was finally old enough to work.  However, now that I'm making damn good money, I always help out family and close friends whenever necessary.  Hell, sometimes not even when necessary (I like to surprise people with shiat they want but can't justify buying).
 
2013-05-09 12:31:07 AM  
You guys had savings accounts as kids? My parents immediately confiscated any and all money I earned or was given up until college.

My parents were filthy rich when I was born, but dirt poor by the time I was in high school. A whole lot of McMansions, get-rich investment schemes and pyramid scams, transparently half-assed business proposals, and shady business partners.

They then spent the decade after we bottomed out blaming it on each other. Extravagant lifestyle versus pie-in-the-sky start-up dream.

The saddest part is all their money was earned working long hours and being diligent wage-slaves.
 
2013-05-09 12:35:04 AM  

evaned: Coastalgrl: Suggestions for sourcea of practical finance knowledge welcome.

Any particular topics?


Personal finance (although I have a good budget) and long term investments. I have an old retirement acct from previous employer. Cashed out 2 retirement accts in past due to economic downturn in 2008 ( too busy defending thesis to get it out and lost 85%) and the other was liquidated due to company buyout. Managing student loan debt.
 
2013-05-09 12:52:33 AM  
 
2013-05-09 12:57:01 AM  

evaned: Be happy. :-) Not only did you learn that lesson (that's what mistakes are for anyway), but you did it by whittling down savings instead of going into a credit card spiral of doom!


Oh, I am, but I also had the lesson reinforced by my ex - he got suckered into one of those college campus credit card offers and boy did he fark up his income with that thing. I also learned not to let other people buy you stuff without triple checking their intentions - he would buy me things on the card and then on my payday be like oh so yeah I need x amount to pay that off...

/lots of reasons he's an ex, that's not even the worst...
 
2013-05-09 01:00:42 AM  

Coastalgrl: evaned: Coastalgrl: Suggestions for sourcea of practical finance knowledge welcome.

Any particular topics?

Personal finance (although I have a good budget) and long term investments. I have an old retirement acct from previous employer. Cashed out 2 retirement accts in past due to economic downturn in 2008 ( too busy defending thesis to get it out and lost 85%) and the other was liquidated due to company buyout. Managing student loan debt.


So funnily enough after I asked that I realized that I don't have particularly great answers no matter what you responded, so I'm not sure why I asked in the first place. :-)

I'm not sure how much you should trust me with the following. I'm pretty good with money, but I've also been quite lucky on a number of counts and in some sense I haven't really  needed much advice, so take my recommendations with a grain of salt.  I've done a bit of reading of financial stuff, mostly various sites I find online. The stuff at the Motley Fool seems pretty good; for instance it was there that I think I first saw a good treatment of index funds and such for investing. A lot of it is not really aimed at someone like me (and rather at someone who wants to pick individual stocks and such), but there's a bit of goon information there. They also have a message board which I recently asked a question on which spawned a lengthy discussion, so people seem helpful. There's also a lot of information out there about IRAs -- Roth/non-Roth, stock/bond mix, etc. I'd say if there's some topic you want to know more about, Google it and read a few sites and see what they have to say. If they seem to agree and it sounds good, it's probably at least not terrible advice. :-) On the personal finance side, in addition to that you could check out You Need a Budget, which is a pretty nifty piece of software for doing budgeting. You say you've got that under control, but it may be worth seeing if it can do anything for you. The downside is it's a bit on the expensive side ($60). For that reason I haven't actually bought it myself, so maybe this isn't really a recommendation. But there's a 34-day trial or something like that and it seemed okay. I just didn't think I'd get my money's worth, and at the moment $60 is not something I can just drop and not care about.

The student loan bit I can't really help with.
 
2013-05-09 01:09:13 AM  

evaned: Coastalgrl: evaned: Coastalgrl: Suggestions for sourcea of practical finance knowledge welcome.

Any particular topics?

Personal finance (although I have a good budget) and long term investments. I have an old retirement acct from previous employer. Cashed out 2 retirement accts in past due to economic downturn in 2008 ( too busy defending thesis to get it out and lost 85%) and the other was liquidated due to company buyout. Managing student loan debt.

So funnily enough after I asked that I realized that I don't have particularly great answers no matter what you responded, so I'm not sure why I asked in the first place. :-)

I'm not sure how much you should trust me with the following. I'm pretty good with money, but I've also been quite lucky on a number of counts and in some sense I haven't really  needed much advice, so take my recommendations with a grain of salt.  I've done a bit of reading of financial stuff, mostly various sites I find online. The stuff at the Motley Fool seems pretty good; for instance it was there that I think I first saw a good treatment of index funds and such for investing. A lot of it is not really aimed at someone like me (and rather at someone who wants to pick individual stocks and such), but there's a bit of goon information there. They also have a message board which I recently asked a question on which spawned a lengthy discussion, so people seem helpful. There's also a lot of information out there about IRAs -- Roth/non-Roth, stock/bond mix, etc. I'd say if there's some topic you want to know more about, Google it and read a few sites and see what they have to say. If they seem to agree and it sounds good, it's probably at least not terrible advice. :-) On the personal finance side, in addition to that you could check out You Need a Budget, which is a pretty nifty piece of software for doing budgeting. You say you've got that under control, but it may be worth seeing if it can do anything for you. The downside is it's a bit on the expensive side ($60). For that reason I haven't actually bought it myself, so maybe this isn't really a recommendation. But there's a 34-day trial or something like that and it seemed okay. I just didn't think I'd get my money's worth, and at the moment $60 is not something I can just drop and not care about.

The student loan bit I can't really help with.


Hey thanks. It's really where are some trustworthy sources to start with to educate myself. I'm sure my budget could use some tweaking.

A colleague of mine actually got me into the trading aspect of things but I'm focused on just being aware of what's going on and it's potential implications.

I thought that Econ was BS in school and I still think it is. but I need to make and keep money somehow. Other than stuffing it in a mattress.
 
2013-05-09 02:05:09 AM  

Coastalgrl: Managing student loan debt


First, know your rough interest rate.  If you're paying 4% and can earn 8% elsewhere, pay the very, very minimum.

Otherwise:

1) Figure out how much buffer you need (if you lose your job or had to find a new apartment really quick and had to make a security deposit).  A couple months rent, deductibles on your insurance, a couple months of minimum payments on all your loans etc.  You can't borrow money from your parents, so add a bit on because once this money runs out, you can't go to family and say "Hey...".  For me personally, I've been trying to run around on about $3K.
2) If you have stuff that's significantly higher interest, pay that first.  Depending on your personal circumstances, a couple percent might be worth "Can be discharged in bankruptcy, since student loans can't" (Student and car are both about 4%, so student first)
3) Every month or so, dump every penny that isn't buffer into your student loans.  Private loans first in order of interest, than public.  The public ones are WAY, WAY better about letting you defer in the event you lose your job than the private ones.
4)  Be done.

/Also, in the event that you move, look at high cost of living areas first.  Getting a roommate back home (Detroit) saves me $300/month, while here (South Bay) it saves me $700-900/month, and (professional) salaries tend to go up accordingly with the cost of living.   That means that finding several grand each month to pay off my $5000 left of student loans and the $6000 I owe family is a lot easier.
//Heck, if I didn't have to move, I could pay off the student loans and the family in about 6 months, and be able to fly home for Christmas on my own dime.
 
2013-05-09 02:28:21 AM  

meow said the dog: rappy: This isn't your personal therapy session, people.

Fisting bump.  It is as though many people are crying for the issue of losing the money which was not the money of they in the first place.


csb:
Spent three years working in TV as a "child star" in a precursor to Barney...all that cash got put in a savings account. Then the folks got a divorce. One of the prime targets of the proceedings was who got that hard-earned dough. Damn straight it wasn't me. Dad took it AND my Star Wars collection (for spite?)
/had to pay my own damned way through college and beyond
//still about 80k in debt after graduating 10 years ago
///is this where I name drop Obama?
 
2013-05-09 02:58:25 AM  

meyerkev: First, know your rough interest rate.  If you're paying 4% and can earn 8% elsewhere, pay the very, very minimum.Otherwise:

blah blah blah

That's all good advice. Just one thing I'd add is that if your employer gives you a 401K match, that ought to come very high in your list of where to put money. Aren't many places where you can get an instant and guaranteed 50% (or whatever) return on investment. :-) It'd take 11 extra years of 4% to get there, and that's ignoring what happens to that investment money in the meantime. Of course, the down side is that it's "inaccessible".

I bring that up because while in some sense it's obvious, it may not be obvious how much of a boon it is if you don't think about it. I think I've even seen advice that a lot of times you'd want to take the match even before paying down CC debt -- but that advice makes me  very wary and you'd have to run the numbers very carefully if you're in that situation.
 
2013-05-09 03:55:59 AM  
As many kids steal from their parents, so it evens out.
 
2013-05-09 04:16:50 AM  
When I was 18, I got my first credit card to try to build up some credit.

Literally 10 minutes after I got it my mother took it and maxed it out. That day.

fark her.
 
2013-05-09 04:35:06 AM  
When my kid was 2 and I tried that, he started charging me credit card interest rates... Smart son!
 
2013-05-09 06:09:18 AM  
Holy shiat!

There are people whose parents saved money for them?

I wonder what that would be like.
 
2013-05-09 06:15:44 AM  
Being one of those 49% of thieving parents, I'd have to say at least I felt guilt when we had to take money from my kid. Of course, when you're stealing from your child's change jar to have enough for groceries that week, there's not *a lot* of guilt.

In all fairness, while he did get a good scholarship for school, what's left is still pretty hefty and I'm paying for it. That's gotta make up for that change plus beyond usury interest.
 
2013-05-09 07:43:32 AM  
i remember when i was like 8 or 10 years old i saved up like $50 in change in a huge piggy bank, and my parents agreed to open up a bank account in my name and put it there so i could save it.  when i was in college i remembered i had that money and called my parents and asked about it.  my mom just laughed and told me that they had spent it a long time ago.  i figured they were paying for my college, so if they want to steal $50 from me then i'm okay with that.
 
2013-05-09 07:46:08 AM  
thinkprogress.org

"You're welcome"
 
2013-05-09 08:29:11 AM  

NickelP: rappy: I mean... think about all of the money you spend on your children. I don't see the issue with taking a little bit of the money you most likely put into their savings if you need it.

You sound like one of those moms that is ok with their 12 year old selling drugs because hey the family needs the money right?


Well as 52% of the population is below the poverty line this makes sense.
 
2013-05-09 09:13:33 AM  
A few people have said similar upthread, but I think it's worth repeating: When I was a kid, the vast majority of my money (from birthday & Christmas checks, later on summer jobs) was shoved into the bank. I was never allowed to touch it for any reason. My parents bought me basically anything I wanted (my demands were fairly reasonable), and I never interacted with money in any meaningful way.

Years later, I found out that actually I had paid for a great many of those things myself. My mother had slowly siphoned away money to pay for much of what she "bought" me. I suppose it was easier for her to just let me get whatever, and then pay herself back, but I'd have appreciated it more if she'd given me $40 a month and made me budget. Or, in the case of larger things, explain that I had to pay for it from savings.

I actually turned out ok with money handling, but finding that list where she itemized everything I "owed" her for her next trip to the bank was very upsetting. The savings account, for most of my life, was just a pit where money went to die.
 
2013-05-09 09:58:04 AM  

What Knot: Some might think it's ok to take money from your child's savings account because it doesn't "belong" to them, but by that logic, I can walk up to any kid on the street and steal their toys or candy or guns because, hey, f*ck off kid, you aren't legally entitled to own anything.


You should abstain from "logic" because you aren't good at it. Possessions of children belong to their parents. This is called custodianship or guardianship. Children don't have money, their parents have money. Kids aren't even allowed to open bank accounts without a parent signed on as far as I know.
 
2013-05-09 10:07:35 AM  
When I was a kid, my folks started two savings accounts for my brother and I. They put a little in each paycheck. My dad worked for a shipping company and my mom worked a few nights a week as an adult-ed computer teacher. Then my dad lost his job. We went from middle-class to poor very quickly when we only had my mom's part time check to live off of. My parents had to dip into the accounts they created for us in order to pay the bills. They did nothing frivolous either. All our food was bargain brand, clothing was several generations hand-me-down, and my understanding grandparents stepped in for birthdays and Christmas. It literally brought my mom to tears when she had to dip into the account she had hoped would give my brother and I a leg up later in life. We lived like that for a few years. My dad eventually got a new shipping job and my mom landed a position as the head of IT for our local municipality. She kept meticulous records of how much she took out of our accounts. We went from a low 5-figure household to a solid 6-figure household very quickly, but we still lived meagerly for a while after. That is because my mother refused to spend a penny extra until she not only replenished the savings accounts, but doubled what she withdrew. Mind you this was money that was her's and my father's to begin with.
 
2013-05-09 10:17:03 AM  

jtown: My dad stole my piggy bank money once to pay the paper boy.  I was annoyed by the theft but more upset because the piggy bank was a nice, hand-painted ceramic pig that his girlfriend had given me that was worth far more than the two or three dollars that was inside.  It had no opening through which the coins could be removed.  I only put pennies and nickels in there because I had no intention of ever breaking it to get the coins back.

Thanks for bringing up hurtful memories, Fark!


You were either too young to have a girlfriend or too old to have a piggybank.
 
2013-05-09 10:22:07 AM  

Bullseyed: jtown: My dad stole my piggy bank money once to pay the paper boy.  I was annoyed by the theft but more upset because the piggy bank was a nice, hand-painted ceramic pig that his girlfriend had given me that was worth far more than the two or three dollars that was inside.  It had no opening through which the coins could be removed.  I only put pennies and nickels in there because I had no intention of ever breaking it to get the coins back.

Thanks for bringing up hurtful memories, Fark!

You were either too young to have a girlfriend or too old to have a piggybank.


And you failed reading comprehension.  Go back and try again.  :)
 
2013-05-09 12:02:06 PM  
You know how I can tell you didn't grow up poor with finacially irresponsible parents?

You didn't spend your childhood and adolescense working to earn money to contribute to the family and still have your remaining savings stolen because the legal system assumes every penny you make should belong to your parents.

My favorite part of that whole experience was I had to allow them to claim me on their tax returns during University in order to be eligible for the financial aid I had to take. Most of my college friends thought it was crazy they called me to ask for money instead of the other way around.
 
2013-05-09 12:20:50 PM  

rappy: I mean... think about all of the money you spend on your children. I don't see the issue with taking a little bit of the money you most likely put into their savings if you need it.


Nope.

My mom used to pull the same crap on me. Except in my case, she'd give me IOUs, which she would mostly tear up without repaying me.

I'd have been perfectly fine with it if she had given me any money at all to start with. She didn't. I didn't get an allowance, and I had no college fund. I had a paper route, I mowed lawns, I washed cars, worked in a library, worked as a UNIX administrator and worked in a chemical lab (all this before I turned 18).

-I *earned* that money, and she *stole* it. As simple as that.

If you can't plan your finances well enough to keep your hands out of your child's bank account, you shouldn't be giving them money in the first place and you are a crappy parent at best.
 
2013-05-09 12:48:19 PM  
Mom gambled away a farkton of money on her credit cards, then paid her credit bills by draining an account that was 80% my money that i was saivng since 15 for college, she also drained my ollege fund that she started putting into when i was an infant.
 
2013-05-09 01:32:13 PM  
Was not aware that much of the population are elected officials...

Now take the argument for and against and replace kids with taxpayers. How fun is that?
 
2013-05-09 04:57:18 PM  

Visionmn2: Was not aware that much of the population are elected officials...

Now take the argument for and against and replace kids with taxpayers. How fun is that?


If there's anything I've learned from this thread, it's that the reason Congress is so dysfunctional is because so were our parents (who, surprise!, are the ones in Congress now).

/gets to go to her church and say the same damn thing, because they are trying to make their income match their expenditures, not the other way around. . .
//and will be accused of being a uppity whipper-snapper who should sit down and keep her mouth shut because she doesn't know anything
///oh, and btw, since you look too queer for us, will you please wear a dress, stockings, jewelry, make-up and high heels
/mumble grumble enlightened my ass
 
2013-05-09 09:37:05 PM  
Portable property, people.  If your parents are reckless destitute bums, cash out that bank account and hide it poste haste.
 
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