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(Reuters) NewsFlash Jodi Arias found guilty of first degree murder - headed for LMITA prison   (reuters.com) divider line 64
    More: NewsFlash, first-degree murders, found guilty, convicts, Phoenix metropolitan area, premeditated murder, death penalty, jury  
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14793 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2013 at 6:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-05-08 06:27:55 PM
17 votes:
fc06.deviantart.net

Woo hoo!!
2013-05-08 06:28:36 PM
7 votes:
That mammoth SPLOOSH sound you heard was Nancy Grace having an orgasm.
2013-05-08 06:39:12 PM
6 votes:

shower_in_my_socks: So, uh, where is this LMITA prison? A,uh, friend wants to know.


Licking County, Ohio.
2013-05-08 09:51:50 PM
5 votes:
When I was afraid of sex when I was just a lass
My Mormon boyfriend tied me up and farked me in the ass.
Then one day I learned a way to save my aching bum,
The surest way and I must say that this is how it's done.

Stab stab stab stab, stab stab stab stab, stab stab and slice.
Stab stab stab stab, stab stab stab, that wasn't very nice.
Stab stab stab stab, stab stab stab. I wonder if he's dead?
Stab stab stab stab, stab stab stab and gun shot to his head.
2013-05-08 06:38:50 PM
5 votes:
i.huffpost.com
2013-05-08 07:14:48 PM
4 votes:
This "Headline News" appears to be a television network whose entire demographic seems to be morbidly obese housewives who shove entire cheesecakes into their mouth with the heel of their hand.
2013-05-08 06:29:46 PM
4 votes:

BafflerMeal: Who?


First base.
2013-05-08 06:26:02 PM
4 votes:
What, playing the "I'm a hot girl, you'll never convict me, tee-hee" card didn't work?

Those jurors were misogynists, or something.
2013-05-08 07:00:30 PM
3 votes:

Bravo Two: 2xhelix: [i.imgur.com image 410x597]

never happen. Janitorial mops are coated to prevent splinters.


Well who says it has to be handle end? They could always use the business end instead.

i40.tinypic.com
2013-05-08 06:55:05 PM
3 votes:

Bravo Two: 2xhelix: [i.imgur.com image 410x597]

never happen. Janitorial mops are coated to prevent splinters.


I'm hoping there's a mundane reason for you knowing that.
2013-05-08 06:38:13 PM
3 votes:
So, uh, where is this LMITA prison? A,uh, friend wants to know.
2013-05-08 06:36:30 PM
3 votes:
This headline has just the right "information" to "tacky" ratio.

+1
2013-05-08 09:57:56 PM
2 votes:
Martinez: *Jodi Arias, did you order the Code Hirsute?*

Judge: You *don't* have to answer that question!

Arias: I'll answer the question!

[to Martinez]

Arias: You want answers?

Martinez: I think I'm entitled to.

Arias: *You want answers?*

Martinez: *I want the truth!*

Arias: *You can't handle the truth!*

[pauses]

Arias: Son, we live in a world that has pussies, and those pussies have to be guarded by women with hair. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Alexander, and you curse the French. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Alexander's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my coont, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want hair on that pussy, you need hair on that pussy. We use words like muff, carpet, matching drapes. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very furburger that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a comb, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Martinez: Did you order the Code Hirsute?

Arias: I did the job I...

Martinez: *Did you order the Code Hirsute?*

Arias: *You're Goddamn right I did!*
2013-05-08 09:25:18 PM
2 votes:

HypnozombieX:  How debasing. She should like that.

Hypnozombie


I never understood "signing" your name when your name is already presented and shows you said something...especially with extremely short posts because it seems like you're talking to yourself. Like:

megarian hey guys!
megarian

It's like I'm saying "megarian Hey guys, megarian."

I'm not trying to be an asshole. I really don't understand. Unless you just simply like it. Because I can see that.
2013-05-08 07:49:16 PM
2 votes:

Popcorn Johnny: After seeing her nude pics, looks like her labia caught a few bullets in the melee.


cdn.raptorcops.com
2013-05-08 07:37:13 PM
2 votes:

antidisestablishmentarianism: elguerodiablo: Judging by the naked pictures on teh internet she was no stranger to teh buttsecks.

That and her testimony. She was into facials too.


I hadn't heard about that part of her testimony, so I did a search and found this hilarious exchange with her attorney:

"He wanted to drive up to the home, get out of the car, have me come out of the house and give him oral sex. He wanted to ejaculate on my face and drive away without saying a word," Arias said. "The first occasion was just like he described, but the second occasion, he dropped something near me and got in his car and left. I picked it up and it was Toblerone."

"So he ejaculated on your face and threw you some candy?" Nurmi asked Arias.

"Pretty much," she said.
2013-05-08 07:04:33 PM
2 votes:

Speaker2Animals: fusillade762: That mammoth SPLOOSH sound you heard was Nancy Grace having an orgasm.

That is so DO NOT WANT that the proper meme will not be created for another ten thousand years.


Don't worry, that can't be what the sploosh noise was; as everybody knows, when Nancy Grace comes, she ejaculates the remains of murdered infants.
2013-05-08 06:50:18 PM
2 votes:

fusillade762: That mammoth SPLOOSH sound you heard was Nancy Grace having an orgasm.


20 miles south of Atlanta, city has declared a state of emergency and stores are putting up signs saying they're all out of mops.

/Oh the humanity
//Gonna take months to get rid of the smell
2013-05-08 06:49:42 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-05-08 06:49:39 PM
2 votes:

DubyaHater: Attractive women do not go to prison. The balance of the universe seems off tonight.
/I wouldn't mind if they gave her a life sentence in my bedroom


She needs to serve more than a week.

/Oh you meant her life, not yours.
//Don't stick it in crazy, and crazy won't stick knives in you
///unless you turn crazy down when she asks
2013-05-08 06:46:37 PM
2 votes:

PsyLord: FirstNationalBastard: shower_in_my_socks: So, uh, where is this LMITA prison? A,uh, friend wants to know.

Licking County, Ohio.

French Lick, ID?


And for when they flip her over, Mud Lick, Kentucky.
2013-05-08 06:46:14 PM
2 votes:

spiderpaz: themindiswatching: ...LMITA?

Lick Me In The Ass (the lesser known cousin of PMITA)


Doesn't sound nearly as bad as PMITA.

/actually, it doesn't sound like a punishment at all
//rather an award
///man, I could do anything to get a life in an LMITA facility
2013-05-08 06:42:58 PM
2 votes:
Not on the Entertainment tab?

/What will HLN air now?
//Not news! (gasp)
2013-05-08 06:42:22 PM
2 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-05-08 06:40:14 PM
2 votes:
News flash? Is this as important as a huge earthquake, act of war, or celebrity divorce?
2013-05-08 06:39:52 PM
2 votes:

bingethinker: She's supposed to be hot? Really? Wipe the Cheeto dust off your monitors, kids.


widgetware.com

If Farkers saw this pic on a Mugshot Roundup they would have her skip the bathing and report directly to their quarters.

She looks a mite different in court.
2013-05-08 06:39:24 PM
2 votes:

ThatGuyGreg: For a thing that supposedly captivated America for months... I have no farking clue who this is.


All I know about this case is that it sounded like it was the most awesome jury duty ever.
2013-05-08 06:34:30 PM
2 votes:
www.charlock.org
2013-05-08 06:28:26 PM
2 votes:
couponfish.net
2013-05-08 10:47:55 PM
1 votes:

Waldo Pepper: you must be a hoot at parties LOL ;-)


It really pisses me off that there aren't "chess groupies." No god damn justice in this world at all. = P
2013-05-08 08:41:54 PM
1 votes:

DubyaHater: Attractive women do not go to prison. The balance of the universe seems off tonight.
/I wouldn't mind if they gave her a life sentence in my bedroom


8th amendment.
2013-05-08 08:38:41 PM
1 votes:
 How debasing. She should like that.

Hypnozombie
2013-05-08 08:37:19 PM
1 votes:

Adman12: Nobody deserves to be raped by anybody, assholes.


I take it you don't have to deal with the work of spammers at the professional level.
2013-05-08 08:22:17 PM
1 votes:
I wonder if she prefers jelly or syrup?
2013-05-08 07:59:14 PM
1 votes:

Therion: News flash? Is this as important as a huge earthquake, act of war, or celebrity divorce?


kestas.kuliukas.com

Multitask.
2013-05-08 07:40:13 PM
1 votes:

SithLord: NSFW


AWWWWW, fake tits? No thanks.
2013-05-08 07:26:28 PM
1 votes:
silvervial:

If you are the kind of person who would "stick your dick in crazy," you might want to know what the possible consequences might be of such rash behavior: stabbed in the back, head, and chest 29 times, throat slit so deep you were almost decapitated, then the final coup de grâce of being shot in the forehead, and then have your butchered body left naked in the shower for five days in the Arizona summer heat...

But I'd get at least a hot sexy weekend with her, right?
Sounds like a good deal to me.


maybe it could teach you a life lesson.

YOLO!
2013-05-08 07:25:39 PM
1 votes:

Sgt.Zim: Bravo Two: 2xhelix: [i.imgur.com image 410x597]

never happen. Janitorial mops are coated to prevent splinters.

Who still uses real wood for mop handles?


There's a company that makes mops with real, uncoated mop handles especially for prisons and prison rapes.
2013-05-08 07:12:10 PM
1 votes:

ImperialHazman: FirstNationalBastard: PsyLord: FirstNationalBastard: shower_in_my_socks: So, uh, where is this LMITA prison? A,uh, friend wants to know.

Licking County, Ohio.

French Lick, ID?

And for when they flip her over, Mud Lick, Kentucky.

Nah, she's in AZ. She'll be up in Dry Beaver Creek.


Then they'll transfer her to Licking Mo.

http://maps.google.com/maps?q=%27255+West+Highway+32,+Licking,+MO%27
2013-05-08 07:09:57 PM
1 votes:

themindiswatching: Maybe I've been reading too much about rape culture, but "PMITA/LMITA prison" doesn't seem funny to me any more.

/she will get the punishment that she deserves though.


Get yourself a nice ladder and get over it.
2013-05-08 07:08:37 PM
1 votes:
I read true crime news as an armchair hobby, and most crimes of jealousy are weird enough. However before the trial even started, the squick factor of this case surpassed even my  elevated thresholds.

Boys, if this isn't enough warning to never stick your d*ck in teh crazy, I don't know what is.
2013-05-08 07:02:06 PM
1 votes:

QuesoDelicioso: I wouldn't kick her out of bed.


me either. she gets all stabby when you piss her off
2013-05-08 07:01:47 PM
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: PsyLord: FirstNationalBastard: shower_in_my_socks: So, uh, where is this LMITA prison? A,uh, friend wants to know.

Licking County, Ohio.

French Lick, ID?

And for when they flip her over, Mud Lick, Kentucky.


Nah, she's in AZ. She'll be up in Dry Beaver Creek.
2013-05-08 06:58:14 PM
1 votes:
a.abcnews.com

Wha, she didn't get off using the self defense plea?
2013-05-08 06:55:28 PM
1 votes:

Fizpez: Anyone else turned on by the headline?


*raises hand*

Guilty.
2013-05-08 06:51:23 PM
1 votes:

fusillade762: That mammoth SPLOOSH sound you heard was Nancy Grace having an orgasm.


That is so DO NOT WANT that the proper meme will not be created for another ten thousand years.
2013-05-08 06:50:27 PM
1 votes:

fusillade762: That mammoth SPLOOSH sound you heard was Nancy Grace having an orgasm.


I was really hoping she would be found not guilty so we could watch the video of Nancy Grace's head assploding in slow motion, over and over again.
2013-05-08 06:50:14 PM
1 votes:

missmez: FirstNationalBastard: What, playing the "I'm a hot girl, you'll never convict me, tee-hee" card didn't work?

Hot?  Try butterface.

[www.betsy-v.com image 320x145]


She thought the "glasses and no makeup" ploy would make her sympathetic to the jury.  Outside the courtroom, she's... maybe not exactly hot, but at least a 7 or 8.  'Course, I don't expect her to age real well now...
2013-05-08 06:48:08 PM
1 votes:
She's ugly.
Ugly to the bone.

Never was interested in her story.  It is just like every other episode of Snapped/City Confidential/Who the F Did I Marry?

Maybe she can bunk with Uncle Fester (The Tucson Shooter) there in Arizona.  They were made for each other.
2013-05-08 06:45:21 PM
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: shower_in_my_socks: So, uh, where is this LMITA prison? A,uh, friend wants to know.

Licking County, Ohio.


French Lick, ID?
2013-05-08 06:43:51 PM
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: What, playing the "I'm a hot girl, you'll never convict me, tee-hee" card didn't work?

Those jurors were misogynists, or something.


Fruity, semen guzzling, cock crazy eunuchs.  It's the only explanation for their conspiratorial malice for this victimized woman.  Her bubbly mirth for life was carved away from her by a motivational speaker.  By far the most sociopathic of all the manipulative professions.
2013-05-08 06:42:51 PM
1 votes:

fusillade762: That mammoth SPLOOSH sound you heard was Nancy Grace having an orgasm.

www.charlock.org
2013-05-08 06:42:10 PM
1 votes:

redmond24: bingethinker: She's supposed to be hot? Really? Wipe the Cheeto dust off your monitors, kids.

Eh she's pretty hot. Her defense team gave her the librarian treatment to make her look less homicidal.


Backfired.

They could have probably gotten a hung jury (no pun intended) if she had still been hot.
2013-05-08 06:42:05 PM
1 votes:

missmez: Hot?  Try butterface.


Buttereverything.

videos.videopress.com
Dat ass.
2013-05-08 06:37:59 PM
1 votes:

missmez: FirstNationalBastard: What, playing the "I'm a hot girl, you'll never convict me, tee-hee" card didn't work?

Hot?  Try butterface.

[www.betsy-v.com image 320x145]


Well, she thought she was hot.

Maybe if she had been, she would have been acquitted.
2013-05-08 06:34:37 PM
1 votes:

bingethinker: She's supposed to be hot? Really? Wipe the Cheeto dust off your monitors, kids.


She kind of has to be, according to this chart:

www.vincegolangco.com
2013-05-08 06:33:33 PM
1 votes:
I was so sure I was going to get to see her in a porno a year from now.
2013-05-08 06:32:15 PM
1 votes:
On the scale of criminals she is British hot.
I'd hit it, then likely die in a pool of my own blood conflicted on if I made the right choice.

/this headline wins an internet
2013-05-08 06:31:59 PM
1 votes:
How about FMITA?
2013-05-08 06:30:30 PM
1 votes:
Paging Grace, Nancy Grace to the front desk.

What name did the old bag give Jodi?
2013-05-08 06:29:13 PM
1 votes:
She gives love a bad name.
2013-05-08 06:28:04 PM
1 votes:
I spit beer.

//subby owes me one
2013-05-08 06:27:24 PM
1 votes:
Let the licking begin!
2013-05-08 06:26:00 PM
1 votes:
Who?
 
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