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(Coed)   Dumb: Convicted wannabe serial killer gets 60 cable channels in his cell, Dumber: On his flat screen TV that he brought to prison with him, Fark: So he can catch up on his favorite show "Dexter"   (coed.com) divider line 95
    More: Stupid, flat panel displays, Dexter Morgan, National Post  
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7300 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2013 at 5:54 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-08 04:13:42 PM  
cdn.static.ovimg.com
 
2013-05-08 05:14:28 PM  
They get cable in Canadian prisons? I'll have to remember that when I put my retirement plan into action.
 
2013-05-08 05:26:58 PM  
*snerk*
 
2013-05-08 05:34:12 PM  
If I were to open a prison, free TV and cheetoes would be a big feature of the program. Although not cable, only approved movies and shows.

The "gym" would be a room with padded floors and an outside field with a short (1/8th mile) running track. Meals would be the same menu over and over and over.

They'd also get the internet via intranet. Wikipedia, TED, and a bunch of other stuff.

Basically it'd be one big beta making factory.
 
2013-05-08 05:55:43 PM  
Dream on, idiot.

Dexter hasn't been caught.
 
2013-05-08 05:56:30 PM  
Yeah but none are HD.

/shudders
 
2013-05-08 06:00:08 PM  

Stoj: Yeah but none are HD.

 
Make 'em HD on the first day of every month, for 6 hours. That will make the non-HD seem virtually unwatchable, especially if they also have 4:3 picture stretched to a 16:9 display.
 
2013-05-08 06:02:01 PM  
It's no problem.  I have become convinced that people are not influenced into action by elements of their environment, like video games and television.  Why do you hate freedom?
 
2013-05-08 06:03:27 PM  
I really don't have a problem with this. Anyone ever been employed and stuck in their house with nothing to do but watch TV? Imagine being locked in your bedroom/bathroom for 20 hours a day watching the same show on repeat. He brought the equipment, not like it's being furnished for him. I say let him drive himself insane.
 
2013-05-08 06:03:38 PM  
Canadians in jail live better than a good chunck of the world.
hell a canadian prisoner lives far better than of he was homeless.

dont forget liqour and dope. They've got it to.
though smokes days as official currency may be numberd.
bitcoins and all
 
2013-05-08 06:04:47 PM  
Reminded me of those ads (from Kangaroo?) which boast that you can record and watch up to 1,000 shows, at once.
 
/As long as it's "Everyone Loves Raymond"
 
//Never liked it
 
2013-05-08 06:05:42 PM  
Canada, where Life is good
 
2013-05-08 06:05:59 PM  
If the goal of imprisoning a serial killer is removing that person from society, then this is still doing that. I imagine the outrage about this is probably rooted at least in part by jealousy about the relative quality of life of a prisoner vs. that of free citizens. Instead of getting upset at the prison, take a look at the opportunities you have or don't have if you think a prisoner has a better life than you. If you see nothing but a future of shiat wages, no benefits, a 50+ hour work week just to pay rent for a studio apartment, a mountain of debt in exchange for an education, etc... then there are better places to focus your anger than this prison.
 
2013-05-08 06:08:08 PM  
Far more cost effective solution:
 
0.tqn.com
 
2013-05-08 06:08:29 PM  
They make him drink Molson, so it's not all fun and games.
 
2013-05-08 06:08:33 PM  
If that dumbass killed someone I cared about and then was allowed to watch cable TV all day...
I'd seriously pray and try to PAY for him to be brutally raped in the very bed/cot he watches Dexter on.
And hopefully, if timed right, he'll be raped while Dexter is on so that every memory of Dexter becomes a memory of his asshole being stretched to unnatural proportions.
farkheads.
 
2013-05-08 06:11:20 PM  

Walter Paisley: If the goal of imprisoning a serial killer is removing that person from society, then this is still doing that. I imagine the outrage about this is probably rooted at least in part by jealousy about the relative quality of life of a prisoner vs. that of free citizens. Instead of getting upset at the prison, take a look at the opportunities you have or don't have if you think a prisoner has a better life than you. If you see nothing but a future of shiat wages, no benefits, a 50+ hour work week just to pay rent for a studio apartment, a mountain of debt in exchange for an education, etc... then there are better places to focus your anger than this prison.


You're right, I could focus it on people with moronic rationalistic theories.
 
2013-05-08 06:12:31 PM  
I will never understand how we treat our convicts better then the elderly.
 
2013-05-08 06:13:44 PM  

Walter Paisley: If the goal of imprisoning a serial killer is removing that person from society, then this is still doing that. I imagine the outrage about this is probably rooted at least in part by jealousy about the relative quality of life of a prisoner vs. that of free citizens. Instead of getting upset at the prison, take a look at the opportunities you have or don't have if you think a prisoner has a better life than you. If you see nothing but a future of shiat wages, no benefits, a 50+ hour work week just to pay rent for a studio apartment, a mountain of debt in exchange for an education, etc... then there are better places to focus your anger than this prison.


I work a great job, earn a lot more than 100K a year...not quite 200, but closing in on it fast...
So go to hell with the idea that my life isn't as good as his and I'm jealous. He has 60 channels, I have DirecTV's biggest package, however many channels that is, but I know it's WAY past 60.

People like you need to be killed...by the same damn people you triumph or stand up for in cases like this.
Please die. Today. Painfully.
 
2013-05-08 06:16:18 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Dream on, idiot.

Dexter hasn't been caught.

 
2013-05-08 06:16:46 PM  
Wait, wait, wait...so Alex Karras became a serial killer? What happened to that cute little black kid, or should I ask?
 
2013-05-08 06:17:37 PM  
I'm OK with this.  He's distracted, and won't be going anywhere.
 
2013-05-08 06:17:54 PM  

Rawhead Rex: Walter Paisley: If the goal of imprisoning a serial killer is removing that person from society, then this is still doing that. I imagine the outrage about this is probably rooted at least in part by jealousy about the relative quality of life of a prisoner vs. that of free citizens. Instead of getting upset at the prison, take a look at the opportunities you have or don't have if you think a prisoner has a better life than you. If you see nothing but a future of shiat wages, no benefits, a 50+ hour work week just to pay rent for a studio apartment, a mountain of debt in exchange for an education, etc... then there are better places to focus your anger than this prison.

I work a great job, earn a lot more than 100K a year...not quite 200, but closing in on it fast...
So go to hell with the idea that my life isn't as good as his and I'm jealous. He has 60 channels, I have DirecTV's biggest package, however many channels that is, but I know it's WAY past 60.

People like you need to be killed...by the same damn people you triumph or stand up for in cases like this.
Please die. Today. Painfully.


Where am I standing up for this prisoner? Where did I approve of anything he did? Your quality of life is subjective and you could be wealthy and still be miserable. If feel strongly enough to wish for my death, maybe you should put more effort into seeking out happiness and durable fulfillment in your life. If you happiness includes the desire for my death, doesn't that make you kind of like the serial killer referenced in TFA?
 
2013-05-08 06:19:19 PM  
Was this a reward for dropping a dime on Luthor?
 
2013-05-08 06:20:59 PM  
What a prison should look like(but without the dead body of the last resident).
i.imgur.com
,
What it actually looks like.
i.imgur.com
,
Nothing wrong with a 23 hour lockdown and 1 hour of sunlight. Helps to shorten a sentence as well, as rehabilitation is accepted more to get the added reduced sentence bonus to get the fark out quicker.
Its not a vacation you know. Oh wait a vacation is brutal if you have to take your family instead of your mistress.

//Off to read some reports on prison guards who help prisoners keep up with business on the outside to pad their paychecks.
 
2013-05-08 06:22:11 PM  

Walter Paisley: If feel strongly enough to wish for my death, maybe you should put more effort into seeking out happiness and durable fulfillment in your life. If you happiness includes the desire for my death, doesn't that make you kind of like the serial killer referenced in TFA?


Make that If you feel strongly enough and If your happiness.
 
2013-05-08 06:22:21 PM  
In his defense Dexter if a fine sure.
 
2013-05-08 06:22:22 PM  

Rawhead Rex: Walter Paisley: If the goal of imprisoning a serial killer is removing that person from society, then this is still doing that. I imagine the outrage about this is probably rooted at least in part by jealousy about the relative quality of life of a prisoner vs. that of free citizens. Instead of getting upset at the prison, take a look at the opportunities you have or don't have if you think a prisoner has a better life than you. If you see nothing but a future of shiat wages, no benefits, a 50+ hour work week just to pay rent for a studio apartment, a mountain of debt in exchange for an education, etc... then there are better places to focus your anger than this prison.

I work a great job, earn a lot more than 100K a year...not quite 200, but closing in on it fast...
So go to hell with the idea that my life isn't as good as his and I'm jealous. He has 60 channels, I have DirecTV's biggest package, however many channels that is, but I know it's WAY past 60.

People like you need to be killed...by the same damn people you triumph or stand up for in cases like this.
Please die. Today. Painfully.


lofarkingl
 
2013-05-08 06:22:37 PM  
I'm not okay with this. He's supposed to be suffering punishment for hacking people up. This is more like a reward: You live rent free, don't have to pay for meals, and get cable? Sounds like welfare, not prison.
 
2013-05-08 06:26:31 PM  
Damn you, preview!!
 
2013-05-08 06:27:00 PM  

lewismarktwo: Rawhead Rex: Walter Paisley: If the goal of imprisoning a serial killer is removing that person from society, then this is still doing that. I imagine the outrage about this is probably rooted at least in part by jealousy about the relative quality of life of a prisoner vs. that of free citizens. Instead of getting upset at the prison, take a look at the opportunities you have or don't have if you think a prisoner has a better life than you. If you see nothing but a future of shiat wages, no benefits, a 50+ hour work week just to pay rent for a studio apartment, a mountain of debt in exchange for an education, etc... then there are better places to focus your anger than this prison.

I work a great job, earn a lot more than 100K a year...not quite 200, but closing in on it fast...
So go to hell with the idea that my life isn't as good as his and I'm jealous. He has 60 channels, I have DirecTV's biggest package, however many channels that is, but I know it's WAY past 60.

People like you need to be killed...by the same damn people you triumph or stand up for in cases like this.
Please die. Today. Painfully.

lofarkingl


"People who murder others shouldn't be treated humanely by the justice system.  I will murder the next person who suggests otherwise!"

The worst part is I think he is somewhat serious
 
2013-05-08 06:27:47 PM  

MethylTryp: I really don't have a problem with this. Anyone ever been employed and stuck in their house with nothing to do but watch TV? Imagine being locked in your bedroom/bathroom for 20 hours a day watching the same show on repeat. He brought the equipment, not like it's being furnished for him. I say let him drive himself insane.


Yeah, if only there was something this guy could have done (or not done in his case) to not end up in a cell 20 hours a day.  Prison need not be "comfortable".  It is getting far more than ridiculous what prisoners are allowed.  Basically it sounds like the only thing you can't do in prison is leave.  That's ridiculous.
 
2013-05-08 06:29:17 PM  

sheep snorter: What a prison should look like(but without the dead body of the last resident).
[i.imgur.com image 640x480]
,

Hmm, I disagree. At the very least I'd prefer the prisoner to be able to survive long enough to serve his sentence.

/had an ex who was a corrections officer at a prison. He got turned in to the FBI for child porn.
 
2013-05-08 06:31:01 PM  
I am okay with any nice treatment any serial receives while in prison, as long as they get to be offered up an as a real life 'Dexter' victim.  Especially if they skip the killing the victim first and go straight to the dismemberment part.
 
2013-05-08 06:31:25 PM  
Essentially, Canadiatanian prisons are nicer than my apartment?
 
2013-05-08 06:33:07 PM  

Rawhead Rex: GRRR... GYM in 26 minutes!!

 
2013-05-08 06:36:10 PM  
I don't entirely understand why tfa keeps referring to Twitchell's victims, plural. Dude only actually killed one person.

/loser at life, loser at serial killing.
 
2013-05-08 06:40:51 PM  
In the past it has been accepted that you get the justice you can pay for ....

CSB - one of the biggest contributors to the OED was an American madman locked up in a British asylum.

With cash  Link
 
2013-05-08 06:49:08 PM  

Walter Paisley: If the goal of imprisoning a serial killer is removing that person from society, then this is still doing that. I imagine the outrage about this is probably rooted at least in part by jealousy about the relative quality of life of a prisoner vs. that of free citizens. Instead of getting upset at the prison, take a look at the opportunities you have or don't have if you think a prisoner has a better life than you. If you see nothing but a future of shiat wages, no benefits, a 50+ hour work week just to pay rent for a studio apartment, a mountain of debt in exchange for an education, etc... then there are better places to focus your anger than this prison.


This is true. Low wage lots of debt 50+ hours weeks.

there is a reason some folks in canada go to on purpose
 
2013-05-08 06:53:48 PM  

dukeblue219: especially if they also have 4:3 picture stretched to a 16:9 display.


The first hdtv I got was used and like 80 pounds for a 24inch screen, but the screen distorted on the sides, so like a news crawl would be wide on the side, get skinny in the middle and then wide on the side again.  any time the camera panned right or left it made me want to throw it in the trash.  on the plus side, I was able to get passed a certain level on starwars battle field 2 that I kept dying on because my former tv was garbade.

/csb

/seriously, distorted pictures are cruel and unusual
 
2013-05-08 06:56:15 PM  
Who cares? Keep him locked up so nobody has to deal with him ever and the net effect on me or any possible victims is the same. The desire to make people suffer is a hobby of the stupid.
 
2013-05-08 06:57:26 PM  

Myria:  I'm OK with this.  He's distracted, and won't be going anywhere.

Bingo.

And those people who wish that Bad Things happen to prison inmates are more than a little creepy. That's just as bad as the Christians who entertain themselves by picturing the torments of (other people's) souls in hell.


Your Name Here: I don't entirely understand why tfa keeps referring to Twitchell's victims, plural. Dude only actually killed one person.

/loser at life, loser at serial killing.


Yup. And he got caught pretty easily very soon.

One of the first things they teach in Serial Killing 101 is "choose victims who won't be missed in a way that doesn't leave tracks."  Pick up a drug-addict hooker at 3 A.M., for example. This Twitchell guy might as well have called the prison and reserved a cell.

If we're going to keep these people in prison we might as well keep them from hurting each other. A bulk rate on basic cable has got to be cheaper than hundreds of sharpened toothbrush removals, e.g.

Mind you I still see nothing wrong with capital punishment for the violent & stupid, like this guy. But even then they should be done in as quickly and as painlessly as possible. Shooting, guillotining and pharmaceutical euthanasia are all fine by me.

The key is being more humane than they are. If we're no better than they are what are we punishing them for? "For getting caught" ain't good enough.
 
2013-05-08 07:03:54 PM  
Rawhead Rex:

People like you need to be killed...by the same damn people you triumph or stand up for in cases like this.
Please die. Today. Painfully.


Welcome to my Ignore list.
 
2013-05-08 07:09:29 PM  

The One True TheDavid: guillotining


Pro-tip: I read somewhere the head can survive for up to 30 seconds afterwards, so I dunno about "quick". (Knock 'em out first maybe?)

/I'm one of those people who does those kind of thought experiments
//oddly enough, in crises, the most surprising thoughts are the ones that the most mundane
 
2013-05-08 07:42:23 PM  

MethylTryp: I really don't have a problem with this. Anyone ever been employed and stuck in their house with nothing to do but watch TV?

 
2013-05-08 07:43:20 PM  
Here's the funny thing subby, when you treat prisoners like humans instead of livestock they're less likely to become repeat offenders when they get out, and you get to keep the moral superiority that you're better than they are because you're treating them humanely when you don't have to.  For those that are never getting out, there's nothing to be gained by treating them like shiat.
 
2013-05-08 07:46:55 PM  

Teufelaffe: Here's the funny thing subby, when you treat prisoners like humans instead of livestock they're less likely to become repeat offenders when they get out,


Here's the thing, if prison is like a country club, there's no reason for criminals to think twice about getting busted and spending the rest of their lives locked up.
 
2013-05-08 07:51:35 PM  

Popcorn Johnny: Teufelaffe: Here's the funny thing subby, when you treat prisoners like humans instead of livestock they're less likely to become repeat offenders when they get out,

Here's the thing, if prison is like a country club, there's no reason for criminals to think twice about getting busted and spending the rest of their lives locked up.


Bastøy Prison, with the lowest re-offense rate in Europe, would like to have a word with you.  Turns out, when you treat people like they have worth as humans, they become a lot more likely to end up actually having worth as humans.  Whoda thunk it?
 
2013-05-08 07:53:58 PM  

Teufelaffe: Bastøy Prison, with the lowest re-offense rate in Europe, would like to have a word with you.  Turns out, when you treat people like they have worth as humans, they become a lot more likely to end up actually having worth as humans.  Whoda thunk it?


How do people serving life re-offend?
 
2013-05-08 07:55:20 PM  

Teufelaffe: Popcorn Johnny: Teufelaffe: Here's the funny thing subby, when you treat prisoners like humans instead of livestock they're less likely to become repeat offenders when they get out,

Here's the thing, if prison is like a country club, there's no reason for criminals to think twice about getting busted and spending the rest of their lives locked up.

Bastøy Prison, with the lowest re-offense rate in Europe, would like to have a word with you.  Turns out, when you treat people like they have worth as humans, they become a lot more likely to end up actually having worth as humans.  Whoda thunk it?


So much this.  I don't get why people think the US prison system is somehow effective at anything other than making more dangerous criminals.

"I don't understand why my dog is still misbehaving.  Every time he misbehaves, I make sure to beat him with a length of hose and lock him in the closet for hours.
 
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