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(Seattle Weekly)   Confessions of a pho hater in Seattle. "Disowning pho is like telling a vegan how much you love KFC"   (seattleweekly.com) divider line 503
    More: Amusing, KFC, Seattle, vegans  
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16458 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2013 at 3:01 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-08 01:12:55 PM
Pho sucks, sriracha sucks, artisanal anything sucks, anything from a food truck sucks.

BIG MAC RULES!

*runs from stampede of foodie hipsters*
 
2013-05-08 01:13:03 PM
That's great, um, maybe you should order something else.  Like something you enjoy.   *ten minutes of awkward silence*

What do you want a gold star sticker?
 
2013-05-08 01:15:10 PM

brap: That's great, um, maybe you should order something else.  Like something you enjoy.   *ten minutes of awkward silence*

What do you want a gold star sticker?


I think he wants people to shut the pho up
 
2013-05-08 01:19:16 PM
"I don't like it because it's just bland noodles and sort-of salty broth. Seriously, that's it. I really think you guys think it's much more than that. Yes, I realize it usually has meat and some weird veggies in it, but bean sprouts and Thai basil also aren't that good..."

I figured before reading that it would come down to the writer not liking basil, or cilantro, or ginger, or fish sauce.  If you don't like the herbs and spices they use in the broth, assuming it was a place that had good broth, then you won't like the food.

brap: That's great, um, maybe you should order something else.


Yeah, considering that most pho places also have banh mi, and if you don't like banh mi I don't know what you're looking for in life.
 
2013-05-08 01:21:29 PM
I can see being ambivalent about pho, but getting yourself so worked up that you have to write an opinion column about how much you hate pho? That kind of just makes you a contrarian twat.

Shut up and make yourself a sammich.
 
2013-05-08 01:21:53 PM
KFC makes terrible fried chicken
 
2013-05-08 01:26:31 PM
Pho real, subby?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-05-08 01:27:50 PM
Almost every single time, people need to tell me how wrong I am and how I must try it at their place and add just the right amount of Sriracha and not doing this is why I didn't like it.

Sounds like tofu cultists I have met. No, tofu doesn't take on the essence of whatever oils you annoint it with. At its best it is tasteless and slimy and at its worst both the taste and texture are horrid. No, I am not going to try it just one more time because this chef mixes it with dried broccoli excrement and the taste is to die for. Or more likely to die from.
 
2013-05-08 01:30:27 PM

Calmamity: I can see being ambivalent about pho, but getting yourself so worked up that you have to write an opinion column about how much you hate pho? That kind of just makes you a contrarian twat.

Shut up and make yourself a sammich.


To be fair to the author, people can go overboard when it comes to food trends.  He's no doubt, being from Seattle where Pho is super-hot for the last several years, constantly pinged on about how strange it is that he doesn't like it.  Plus, since the Seattle Times no doubt has a large chunk of readership that falls into the food hipster category, this type of article is bound to generate a lot of clicks and comments.
 
2013-05-08 01:33:20 PM
I get where the author is coming from.  I have heard of pho, but I have never actually eaten it.  From the people who talk about it, I expect to emulate Meg Ryan in her famous diner scene if I ever get around to eating it.
 
2013-05-08 01:35:04 PM
STOP LIKING THINGS I DON'T LIKE!


ARGH!
 
2013-05-08 01:36:17 PM

factoryconnection: I figured before reading that it would come down to the writer not liking basil, or cilantro, or ginger, or fish sauce. If you don't like the herbs and spices they use in the broth, assuming it was a place that had good broth, then you won't like the food.


The only drawback of pho for me is the exorbitant amount of cilantro I have to deal with. Basil, ginger, fish sauce, broth, meat, noodles are all great. And then I get to the farking forest of cilantro. Gorrammit!
 
2013-05-08 01:38:46 PM

factoryconnection: Yeah, considering that most pho places also have banh mi, and if you don't like banh mi I don't know what you're looking for in life.


I'd disagree and really curse at you and attack you personally, but I don't want the mods to banh mi.
 
2013-05-08 01:39:01 PM
This reminds me of the 5 or 6 times I tried coke in college. Friends kept insisting that I must not have liked it because I tried someone's shiatty coke and this time I was really going to like it.

Great, now the back of my throat is numb and it is making me want to barf and I'm talking to an asshole about nothing. Yay?

On the other hand, if any of you kids out there want to score free drugs, pretend not to like them. Your friends will go broke trying to impress you.
 
2013-05-08 01:43:35 PM
I actually have had a different experience.  Yeah, pho is really popular and ubiquitous in Seattle, so you're going to have it eventually whether you want to try it or not.  My first couple times I didn't exactly dislike it, but I didn't see what all of the fuss is about.  Once you get the hang of how much of the sauces and whatnot you add though... It's actually really good.  Maybe it's an acquired taste thing. 

Maybe I'm just desperately trying to fit in with a foodie culture I don't fully understand by forcing myself to like what everyone else seems to like, without realizing that nobody actually likes pho and everybody in this city is just trying to impress each other with their foodie-ness.

/Nah, pho is actually really good.  Might get it for lunch actually.
 
2013-05-08 01:50:14 PM
So get something you do like. It's food, it's not rocket science.

I grew up in the South, and I despise okra. It's like eating a slimy eyebrow, but if folks like it, more power to them. If you are so worried about what people think about your food likes and dislikes, maybe you shouldn't eat in public. Or maybe get over your damn selves.
 
2013-05-08 01:50:27 PM
Dollar-for-dollar I can't think of a better lunch than Pho. The closest place to my office hands over a bowl so laden with meat, noodles and fresh veggies I need two hands to carry and I get change back from a $5.
 
2013-05-08 01:54:29 PM

hubiestubert: So get something you do like. It's food, it's not rocket science.

I grew up in the South, and I despise okra.

It's like eating a slimy eyebrow, but if folks like it, more power to them. If you are so worried about what people think about your food likes and dislikes, maybe you shouldn't eat in public. Or maybe get over your damn selves.

OMG I laughed SO HARD. You're right. I'm from AL and have always hated boiled okra too.
 
2013-05-08 01:55:29 PM

exick: The only drawback of pho for me is the exorbitant amount of cilantro I have to deal with. Basil, ginger, fish sauce, broth, meat, noodles are all great. And then I get to the farking forest of cilantro. Gorrammit!


I can see how that would be irritating, especially for people that perceive cilantro as tasting like soap.  My favorite places for it give a bowl of broth and a plate with piles of noodles, meat, and the veggies.  Completely-customized soup.  Pho is the most humble of breakfast foods, and the humble shops let the customer do the work for ideal taste.

AdolfOliverPanties: banh mi


You pun goof'd now, boy!
 
2013-05-08 01:56:37 PM
I've never tried it, but I think it looks pretty good.
 
2013-05-08 02:03:06 PM
I feel the same way about sushi. I'm considered a philistine because I farking HATE fish!
 
2013-05-08 02:06:04 PM

Calmamity: I can see being ambivalent about pho, but getting yourself so worked up that you have to write an opinion column about how much you hate pho? That kind of just makes you a contrarian twat.

Shut up and make yourself a sammich.


No, he's all worked up that people won't stfu and trust him when he says, "I don't like it." Same thing when I tell people I don't like ramen. Everyone is all "WTF? How could you NOT like ramen?"

If I want something like ramen, I'll go make my family's recipe for homemade chicken noodle soup, or I'll get miso.

/have yet to try pho, fiancé wants to take me to a ramen place. I'm willing to try, but yeah, ffs, if I say I don't like something, can you just trust that I've tried it enough times to make an informed opinion about it?
 
2013-05-08 02:09:35 PM

factoryconnection: I figured before reading that it would come down to the writer not liking basil, or cilantro, or ginger, or fish sauce. If you don't like the herbs and spices they use in the broth, assuming it was a place that had good broth, then you won't like the food.


You can always order it without all that stuff. Just ask for a bowl of "faux".
 
2013-05-08 02:14:48 PM
Pho sounds like the name of a rapper. Pho Shur? Pho Rheal?

I'm not looking it up because I'm guessing one exists.
 
2013-05-08 02:16:34 PM
I first had pho almost 20 years ago and have absolutely loved it ever since. I can understand why some people don't, but it really is about figuring just how much of each additive/sauce you like. Damn, I just ate lunch and I'm getting hungry just thinking about it.
 
2013-05-08 02:18:33 PM
Oh, and one of the best pho places I've been to was The Best Little Pho House in Texas, on Lamar(?) Street in Austin.
 
2013-05-08 02:26:41 PM
I quite love Pho, but as others have said I can see where some people wouldn't. I don't know why anyone would assume a food would be universally loved or hated.
 
2013-05-08 02:27:18 PM
I've never had pho.
 
2013-05-08 02:28:15 PM
Love pho.

Only recently found out from a Vietnamese friend that I've been mispronouncing it for 20 years.

The cedilla over the "o" and the little tail on the "o" makes it a very soft sound.  I still don't think I'm getting it properly, but as close as my Caucasian mouth can get it's not "fo" (rhyming with "go") but rather more like "fhaa"
 
2013-05-08 02:30:06 PM
KFC makes Pho?
 
2013-05-08 02:36:12 PM
The guy has a right to his opinion.

I've had some awful food that folks rave about as if it's Gods gift to humanity and been around long enough to understand that people will eat dirt and wax all poetic about it.

I don't care if it takes three days to make that stinky, lumpy, spicy main course. It sucks, IMO, and I think you're an idiot for eating it.

Like Baloot. The Asian delicacy found mainly around Taiwan consisting of fetal ducks brought nearly to full term, then scalded to death in the shell. People who love that abomination like crunching on the little beaks, feathers and feet and slurping down the amniotic fluid they were steamed in.

I know folks who like Limburger Cheese and the foul smell of that stuff makes me wonder what desperate soul actually ate it in the first place instead of tossing it in the nearest volcano.

Then again, folks love Pizza Hut food. I don't consider Pizza Hut Pizza to be actually pizza and haven't yet figured out what the meat pellets are and I'm not actually sure if it's food..

I'm also a bit weary of 'spicy' foods. I don't like foods that might taste good, but you can't tell because the first bite sears the skin off your tongue, melts the enamel on your teeth, turns your stomach into a knotted ball of acid and then you get to brag about how, much later, it peeled the first layer of tissue off your anus when disposing of it.

I had a thing of Red Beans and Rice the other day. One of those heat and eat servings. Nowhere did it mention that the stuff was spicy. The first bite burned out my taste buds, stripped the skin from my mouth, cleaned out my sinuses, seared all of the tarter from my teeth and dumped a volcano-like portion into my stomach.

What little taste I got was good -- it's just that not being a masochist, I didn't figure it was worthwhile being in agony to continue eating it.

I've watched big, burly guys wolf down stuff buried in hot sauce, proclaiming how great it is as their faces turned red, they burst out in rivers of sweat, guzzled beer by the keg, their blood pressure soared and they produced a grin more like a death spasm to show others how manly they were.

Eskimos love killed, ungutted, small birds crammed in the fat lined skin of a seal and buried for a year in the frozen dirt to 'marinate'. They munch the buggers down feathers and all and you don't want to be down wind when they do.

Some of the best oriental soups I've had probably took the chef 30 minutes to make 10 gallons. The overall flavor was wonderful, the heat of the spices NOT designed to over power everything else and the separate ingredients all had just the right flavor and texture.

Don't forget now, the 'new yuppies' consider it a wonderful ritual to cook up the placenta of their new born child and dine on it with fine wines and close friends. After all, it's natural since animals do it.
Many birds and dogs eat the feces of their young or even their own and THAT'S natural also, but I ain't gonna do it. Elephants have been known to dig in each others arses for a dollop of feces, which they then eat.

Natural also but I prefer not to try it.

Then there's bird spit soup.

I have eaten bulls balls and found them remarkably bland, curiously unsatisfying in texture and the sauce made the meal. I'm not going to run out and buy a batch.

I've had those $5.00 coffees from Starbucks and while good, I actually had better from Mac Donalds for $2.00. A few old time diners (greasy spoon versions) gave me cups of coffee that I'd fight for and slapped down a plate of eggs I'd consider close to the food of the gods.

Usually I figure if the Yuppies and Hipsters like it, I'm probably not going to.

I don't care if thousands rave about a certain food. If it doesn't taste good to me, I aint gonna eat it and I aint gonna promote it.

I've tried some ethnic foods from my ancestry that my relatives raved about and decided they had their taste buds in their arses. Especially home made, old time breads and pastries. (Some of my ancestors never heard of producing a loaf of bread that didn't weigh a ton.)

So, I applaud the author for his candidness. From reading the remarks on the site, almost no one else did.
 
2013-05-08 02:44:47 PM

Calmamity: I can see being ambivalent about pho, but getting yourself so worked up that you have to write an opinion column about how much you hate pho? That kind of just makes you a contrarian twat.

Shut up and make yourself a sammich.


Agreed.
 
2013-05-08 02:54:25 PM

Rik01: Usually I figure if the Yuppies and Hipsters like it, I'm probably not going to.


If you strike down the Yuppies and Hipsters, they shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
 
2013-05-08 02:55:43 PM

Twitch Boy: Pho sucks, sriracha sucks, artisanal anything sucks, anything from a food truck sucks.

BIG MAC RULES!

*runs from stampede of foodie hipsters*


Yeah, but probably not very fast, tubby.
 
2013-05-08 03:02:45 PM
Who knew pho had foes?
 
2013-05-08 03:05:34 PM
Is that what they call a "pho pas?"
 
2013-05-08 03:05:58 PM
I'm not a fan of asian food in general, but asian women on the other hand,
 
2013-05-08 03:06:14 PM
It's good for the weather there. But you MUST build your bowl yourself when it comes to the herbs, etc. I can't stand cilantro, but I do like a big hot bowl of pho when it's been raining for six months.
 
2013-05-08 03:06:31 PM
I'd never heard of pho before just this minute. Yet, I'm not suddenly aware of a vast emptiness in my life, as if I were regretful that I'd never heard of it.

I could use a Subway turkey breast with lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions and yellow mustard right now.
 
2013-05-08 03:06:41 PM
The day I spend energy on a scathing editorial about a bowl of soup is the day I should just crawl into a gas oven.
 
2013-05-08 03:06:52 PM

olddinosaur: Is that what they call a "pho pas?"


Zing!
 
2013-05-08 03:07:03 PM

EvilEgg


I think he wants people to shut the pho up


What about pho in those little styrofoam dealies like pot noodle?

"Directions: pour in the hot water and shut the pho cup."
 
2013-05-08 03:07:06 PM
It's not real pho unless it's made by someone who had to escape from South Vietnam after the fall of Saigon.

One of the great things about living in Northern VA in the 90s was great pho in every neighborhood.
 
2013-05-08 03:07:07 PM
Aww, I was hoping to get in and make fun of the "no, you actually pronounce it like this" people before one of them posted. I don't care how Vietnamese pronounce pho (fo) any more than care how the French pronounce croissant (KRO-sant) or the Mexicans pronounce burrito (buh-REE-to).
 
2013-05-08 03:07:10 PM
I want to start a restaurant named Phở Q.
 
2013-05-08 03:07:22 PM
I will go out to the pho restaurant if my wife suggests it on her turn.  I would never choose it for the outings I get to select.  We don't eat out much with the baby (once per month-ish)... and pho seems like an utter waste of a food adventure IMHO.
Its just so 'meh'.
 
2013-05-08 03:07:24 PM
I had pho for lunch today- yes, with added Sriracha- so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

//From Trader Joe's, too.
 
2013-05-08 03:07:42 PM
cilantro...  haters gonna hate
 
2013-05-08 03:07:45 PM
Oh PHO U column writer/subby!!!

I keed.  I love some good pho, but there are places that are salty broth and noodles. But if you don't like it, don't go eat more.  Pretty simple, no?

*shrug*  do not get the hate
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-05-08 03:08:05 PM

EvilEgg: I get where the author is coming from.  I have heard of pho, but I have never actually eaten it.  From the people who talk about it, I expect to emulate Meg Ryan in her famous diner scene if I ever get around to eating it.


I lived in a predominately Asian community for a long time. There was pho everywhere.  It's kinda "meh".  Better than the ramen or whatever people try to pass off as pho in non-Asian places, sure, but it's nothing I'd go out of my way to eat.  It's rice noodles in broth with herbs added, after all.

If I get pho and it's basically ramen noodles and spices, no big deal, I'll eat it and go about my business.  But when Thai food has jalapenos, Italian basil and plain ginger in it, I just can't eat it since I know a tiny part of me will die inside.  The gulf between good Thai food and bad is much, much wider than for good pho and bad pho. But then I'm an uncivilized heathen.

bdub77: Pho sounds like the name of a rapper. Pho Shur? Pho Rheal?


It's pronounced more like "fuh" than "foe", by the way.
 
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