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(Orlando Sentinel)   Man plays game of ding dong ditch, emphasis on the dong   (orlandosentinel.com) divider line 22
    More: Florida, Deltona  
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5933 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2013 at 12:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-08 11:44:50 AM
Penis.
 
2013-05-08 12:34:25 PM
"For the same man to come last night and then again today, it is just very unnerving," the woman said.

So if it would have been a different naked dude, it would be no big deal?
 
2013-05-08 12:35:44 PM
Some people are crazy. Lucky for you, he wasn't especially violent.
 
2013-05-08 12:36:05 PM
Rosvelt?

image.indexdownload.com

Has he no respect for human life?
 
2013-05-08 12:36:21 PM

King Something: Penis.


mighter.
 
2013-05-08 12:39:32 PM
Ding dong ditch means you kill her! Then you throw that ding dong into a ditch. Geez. Pick up a book
 
2013-05-08 12:43:50 PM
Ah they call it a large walking stick these days, Is this because of the race thingy?
 
2013-05-08 12:45:04 PM
I wonder what kind of conversati9on you have with yourself just prior to exposing your manhood to an unwilling audience?

"I don't know, she might be an undercover cop...but she's gorgeous. I'd ask her out, but I don't get paid until next Friday. Ask to exchange numbers? Naw, she might not be interested because my shoes aren't new and I don't have on my good clothes. Shiat, this will be the only chance that I'll have to show her what I'm packing. I'm sure once she sees my flaccid man meat, she'll immediately get as moist as velvet cupcake and it'll be just the ice breaker I've been looking for. Sexy time, here I come!"
 
2013-05-08 12:48:35 PM
Just tell the guy you don't accept door to door fellatiations.
 
2013-05-08 12:53:59 PM
Before signing in for a contract an investor visits a factory that makes latex accessories.

So hes walking along the factory floor and he gets close to a machine that makes dong, plouss, dong, plouss, dong, plouss. He asks: what is this machine? The factory owner says its a machine that creates teats for baby bottles. "See, the "dong" sound is when we create the bump and the "plouss" sound is when we make the hole.

So the visit continues until they get in from of another machine that does dong, dong, dong, dong, dong. Again the visitor asks: "what is this machine doing?". The owner answers its a latex glove machine, no "plouss" to create holes since we want it airtight.

The visit finally ends in front of a machine that does dong, dong, dong, dong, plouss, dong. The owner announces its the condom machine. The investor is alarmed: "Wouldnt that create a problem with the reliability of this product and make you lose money?"

The owner answers:"but its awesome for the teats business."
 
2013-05-08 12:54:12 PM
Reminds me of a Martling joke:

*doorbell rings*
Escort opens the door and sees a man with no arms and no legs

"What do you want?" She asks
"An hour" he says
"And what could we possibly do?" She scoffs
He winks, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
 
2013-05-08 12:56:39 PM

GanjSmokr: Ding dong ditch means you kill her! Then you throw that ding dong into a ditch. Geez. Pick up a book


THIS.

Not to be confused with the simple prank of Ring 'n Run.
 
2013-05-08 01:04:53 PM
He was just trying a new spin on The Naked Man
 
2013-05-08 01:05:35 PM

emphasis on the dong


I suppose it wouldn't be Fark otherwise.
 
2013-05-08 01:12:34 PM
Stuff like this would never happen in my neighborhood. We get so many soliciters that anyone unexpectedly knocking on the door or ringing the bell will be completely ignored.
Id much rather open to find this guy than some of the people who come by.
 
2013-05-08 01:15:47 PM
We used to call it nubian knocking.
 
2013-05-08 01:43:53 PM

MythDragon: We used to call it nubian knocking.


Us too....and as a young and completely stupid 16yo, I did it whilst holding a bottle of Pepsi (glass bottle btw, like God intended Pepsi to be contained)...rang the bell, took off running, hit the wet grass and slipped and fell, shattering said glass bottle in my hand, resulting in a gash in my palm that took 16 stitches and another 16 in my elbow for good measure.  The "victim" of my prank simply looked at me and called me a farking idiot and gave me a towel to try and staunch the bleeding.  He asked me if I wanted him to call an ambulance and since I only lived a couple blocks away, I told him no and sorry and started walking home.  He told me I'd better run, because he was calling the cops, so I ran all the way home, leaving a nice little bread crumb trail of blood streaks and drops..  Mom wasn't happy with me....

/luckily I've matured since then (ok, maybe only a little, but still)
 
2013-05-08 02:19:27 PM

chevydeuce: MythDragon: We used to call it nubian knocking.

Us too....and as a young and completely stupid 16yo, I did it whilst holding a bottle of Pepsi (glass bottle btw, like God intended Pepsi to be contained)...rang the bell, took off running, hit the wet grass and slipped and fell, shattering said glass bottle in my hand, resulting in a gash in my palm that took 16 stitches and another 16 in my elbow for good measure.  The "victim" of my prank simply looked at me and called me a farking idiot and gave me a towel to try and staunch the bleeding.  He asked me if I wanted him to call an ambulance and since I only lived a couple blocks away, I told him no and sorry and started walking home.  He told me I'd better run, because he was calling the cops, so I ran all the way home, leaving a nice little bread crumb trail of blood streaks and drops..  Mom wasn't happy with me....

/luckily I've matured since then (ok, maybe only a little, but still)


The two stories that stick in my mind are

I was about 11? A friend decided to do this without warning, and ran up to a house and rang the bell. And hauled ass around the corner. I was still in shock because I didn't know we were playing that game, and I wasted precious seconds standing there. Having only a few seconds to spare, I knew I didn't have time to hide anywhere,when I noticed a toy truck in the driveway across the street, so I ran over there, sat down with the truck and started making 'vrrooom' noises. The lady walks out of the house, looks around, looks at me, and I just shrug and go back to playing with the truck. She looks around for a bit longer and goes back inside, allowing me to scamper off.

Another time we picked a guy's house who had a covered walkway parallel to his door. Like you walked up three steps, the door was on the left, the wall of the covered walkway to the right, and you could keep going straight down 3 more steps back to the sidewalk. So we would run up the steps, bang like hell on the door as we ran past, and keep going to the hiding spot. We would wait a few minutes and try again. Well at try number 3, it was my turn. And the bastard was waiting for me. I run up the stairs at full blast, and as I hit the top step, he flings the door open leaving me no where to go but smack dead into the door. As I am laying on my back he asks "Are you done now?" I say "Yes sir" and pick myself up and limp away.

Then there was the time a few years ago some kids did it to me. I was watching a movie, the doorbell rings, and I go out there. There's no one. I kinda chuckle to myself and look down, and lo and behold there is a clear plastic marshmellow bag of poop just sitting there. Not engulfed in flames or anything. Was I supposed to think those brown lumps where tasty marshmellows someone left as a gift? I was disappointed. It wasn't even slopped over my porch, it was all inside a nice clean bag I could just pick up and throw away. So I yelled out real loud "You think this is funny? It's not. I am really disappointed in you kids! You're supposed to use a paper bag, and light it on fire so when someone comes out, they stomp on it and get poop on their shoes! Do it right next time!"
I go back to the living room and the wife asks "who was that?" 'A bag of poop' "A bag of poop?" 'Yep' "No, really. Who was at the door?" 'A big bag of poop'. So she goes out to the door, comes back, and says "There is a bag of poop at the door!". 'I know, I just told you that' "Why is there a bag of poop?" 'It was some kids' "Why would they do that?" 'Uh, because it's funny, I guess' "Why is that funny?" 'Because it's poop. And it's at your door. Why is this so hard a concept to understand?' "I have never seen this in Japan." 'And sweety, that's why you all lost the war. You guys didn't find shiat funny'.

She didn't find my last comment funny either.
 
2013-05-08 03:58:29 PM

MythDragon: The two stories that stick in my mind are

(Three stories follow)


I'm confused, but enjoyed them despite this.
 
2013-05-08 04:21:19 PM

Thelyphthoric: MythDragon: The two stories that stick in my mind are (Three stories follow)


I'm confused, but enjoyed them despite this.


Well the two stories were from when I did it as a child.
The third story is a bonus story I gave you at no extra charge.
 
2013-05-08 04:36:18 PM

MythDragon: Thelyphthoric: MythDragon: The two stories that stick in my mind are (Three stories follow)


I'm confused, but enjoyed them despite this.

Well the two stories were from when I did it as a child.
The third story is a bonus story I gave you at no extra charge.


Sweet, 50% bonus!  That's the best deal I've received all damn day.
 
2013-05-08 05:47:13 PM
Oh no Florida, why?
 
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