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(The Atlantic)   FDA announces plans to investigate/regulate caffeine. FROM MY HOT, TWITCHING HANDS   (theatlantic.com) divider line 95
    More: Dumbass, FDA, Mental Health Services Administration, mass market, Utopia, deputy commissioner  
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4078 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2013 at 9:09 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-08 09:13:08 AM
Good.  Then HFCS.
 
2013-05-08 09:13:14 AM
Things like this make me wonder what they're trying to pass.  Almost if as though they are trying to distract the public using some non-issue emotional subject...
 
2013-05-08 09:14:00 AM

Molavian: Good.


Don't you blaspheme in here!  Don't you blaspheme in here!

/You better stop and think about the consequences of your actions!
 
2013-05-08 09:14:07 AM
More government intervention in our health.  Just what we need.  Because it's worked SO WELL in the past.  I'm looking at YOU, food pyramid!
 
2013-05-08 09:14:57 AM
dilbert.com

dilbert.com

dilbert.com

dilbert.com

dilbert.com
 
2013-05-08 09:15:40 AM
"regulation -- in Sweden, for example, many grocery stores do not sell energy drinks to people under 15. The United States is not likely to lead the charge into "

but you can buy NoDoz at an Apotek. skewed article is skewed.
 
2013-05-08 09:16:09 AM

tennessee.hillbilly: Molavian: Good.

Don't you blaspheme in here!  Don't you blaspheme in here!

/You better stop and think about the consequences of your actions!


Nicely played. Well done.
 
2013-05-08 09:18:03 AM
this journalist should be physically assaulted.
 
2013-05-08 09:19:16 AM

Molavian: Good.  Then HFCS.


And pink slime.

/Anyone remember that crap a year or so back?
 
2013-05-08 09:19:54 AM
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
WHAT PART OF
"WILL NOT BE INFRINGED"
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, OBAMA?
 
2013-05-08 09:19:59 AM
What's the deal with some coffee drinkers that they think we all want to hear about their addiction? How about drinking your coffee quietly and keeping the insipid someecards to yourself?
 
2013-05-08 09:20:38 AM
Think I'll guzzle some Four Locos all at once, video tape it and upload it to YouTube.

I'll be a hero!
 
2013-05-08 09:21:15 AM
It's impossible to find out how much caffeine there is in most products -- and why does Starbucks decaf have more caffeine than anyone else's regular coffee.

//When you worship chocolate, coffee is just a nuisance.
 
2013-05-08 09:21:58 AM

DeathCipris: And pink slime.

/Anyone remember that crap a year or so back?


Yes. It turned out to be mostly BS.
 
2013-05-08 09:22:30 AM
FOR EVERY CUP OF COFFEE I DRINK TODAY, I'M GOING TO POUR A SECOND ONE AND THROW IT INTO A LIBERAL'S FACE!  TAKE THAT, FARTB0NG0!!!
 
2013-05-08 09:23:48 AM
Well, we're banning drinks over 16oz anyway, might as well take the caffeine out too.

We should also ban alcohol. Lots of people die from that. We tried it before and it worked great. No more bars.

Diamonds are inhumane. Ban them.

Tobacco causes cancer. Ban it.

Guns kill, even though you are 46% less likely to be shot today then you were in 1993, with gun crimes making up a massive 1% of violent crime.
(Mostly committed by and against black males between the age of 18 to 40. Maybe we should regulate black youth? We could put them to work on farms or something.)

Banning stuff makes it go away forever and ever. Liberalism showed me this by banning all kinds of shiat they don't like, like privacy.
 
2013-05-08 09:24:37 AM
I'd say I'm going to lose sleep over this, but it's probably just because I've had too much coffee.

/as usual, the answer to the fear mongering headline in the article is a definitive "No."
 
2013-05-08 09:24:58 AM
Yeah, because making something illegal to teenagers/young adults make them really not want to do it anymore....

Also, god forbid if they actually do make it 21 (I could see them setting it at 18).  I don't know how I could have survived college without some caffeine, but I definitely did not need to drink alcohol (not saying that I didn't, but downing some beer wouldn't help me with late night study sessions or surviving my third shift job).
 
2013-05-08 09:25:59 AM

Burr: Yeah, because making something illegal to teenagers/young adults make them really not want to do it anymore....

Also, god forbid if they actually do make it 21 (I could see them setting it at 18).  I don't know how I could have survived college without some caffeine, but I definitely did not need to drink alcohol (not saying that I didn't, but downing some beer wouldn't help me with late night study sessions or surviving my third shift job).


How are you going to enforce this?

"I lost my child to the gubberment for giving him a coke!"
 
2013-05-08 09:26:21 AM

fluffy2097: We could put them to work on farms or something.)


didn't we try that already, with cotton? why, i just purchased some Monsanto RoundUp Ready Drought Tolerant African Negros the other day.
 
2013-05-08 09:26:33 AM
...they already are regulating caffeine. At least in soft drinks.  Because soft drinks are to drinks as animation is to television. And we all know no children ever drink coffee or Red Bull.
 
2013-05-08 09:26:35 AM
I seriously doubt they are going to ban or regulate coffee anytime soon. But there HAS been a recent rash of teenagers showing up in the Emergency Room due to excessive consumption of high caffeine energy drinks. These drinks are certainly dangerous and there is no real labeling of the danger. Some modest guideline or limits to teenagers access to these drinks may be reasonable.
 
2013-05-08 09:27:25 AM

MindStalker: I seriously doubt they are going to ban or regulate coffee anytime soon. But there HAS been a recent rash of teenagers showing up in the Emergency Room due to excessive consumption of high caffeine energy drinks. These drinks are certainly dangerous and there is no real labeling of the danger. Some modest guideline or limits to teenagers access to these drinks may be reasonable.


...they don't need to do that. They just need to declare energy drinks "soft drinks". Problem solved.
 
2013-05-08 09:27:54 AM

utah dude: fluffy2097: We could put them to work on farms or something.)

didn't we try that already, with cotton? why, i just purchased some Monsanto RoundUp Ready Drought Tolerant African Negros the other day.


We did. It worked farking great.

I don't know why the south didn't just have them fight for them in the civil war.
 
2013-05-08 09:28:13 AM
If there is in fact a demonstrable health risk here, I'd say this is precisely what the FDA is intended to regulate.
 
2013-05-08 09:28:42 AM

fluffy2097: Burr: Yeah, because making something illegal to teenagers/young adults make them really not want to do it anymore....

Also, god forbid if they actually do make it 21 (I could see them setting it at 18).  I don't know how I could have survived college without some caffeine, but I definitely did not need to drink alcohol (not saying that I didn't, but downing some beer wouldn't help me with late night study sessions or surviving my third shift job).

How are you going to enforce this?

"I lost my child to the gubberment for giving him a coke!"


Same way you enforce Alcohol.  Child endangerment laws probably.  I think it is legal for me to give my son a beer in my own home, but If I get him drunk then it is an issue.
 
2013-05-08 09:28:44 AM
I'm not much for banning things, but really caffeine in oatmeal? Putting it foods that don't normally contain doesn't sound wise.
 
2013-05-08 09:29:09 AM
You can regulate my caffeine when you pry it out of my cold, dead heads.

/begins stockpiling
 
2013-05-08 09:30:22 AM

fluffy2097: We did. It worked farking great.


i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-05-08 09:30:26 AM

JerseyTim: What's the deal with some coffee drinkers that they think we all want to hear about their addiction? How about drinking your coffee quietly and keeping the insipid someecards to yourself?


We must run with a different crowd because all the someecards I get on my Facebook feed are about alcohol abuse.
 
2013-05-08 09:30:43 AM

MindStalker: I seriously doubt they are going to ban or regulate coffee anytime soon. But there HAS been a recent rash of teenagers showing up in the Emergency Room due to excessive consumption of high caffeine energy drinks. These drinks are certainly dangerous and there is no real labeling of the danger. Some modest guideline or limits to teenagers access to these drinks may be reasonable.


All of them say "don't have more then 1 or 2 cans per day" on the side of them.

If you drink 4 16 oz Monsters in 4 hours, and you're 12, maybe your death is destined to prove to a pair of adults that they are bad parents.
 
2013-05-08 09:31:17 AM

Molavian: Good.  Then HFCS.


Yeah I'm sure the farm lobby will be on board with that.
 
2013-05-08 09:31:38 AM

Burr: Same way you enforce Alcohol. Child endangerment laws probably. I think it is legal for me to give my son a beer in my own home, but If I get him drunk then it is an issue.


So we can arrest the parents of children who are hyperactive in public, then take the kids away?
 
2013-05-08 09:31:52 AM

mama4mooing: I'm not much for banning things, but really caffeine in oatmeal? Putting it foods that don't normally contain doesn't sound wise.


eggs would be better, high protein diet with some caffeine, maybe some smart gingko biloba extract - - perfect for getting your lil' ADD/ADHD boy through six hours of school.
 
2013-05-08 09:32:00 AM
and actually studies have shown that excessive amounts of coffee (6 cups a day) helps prevent prostate cancer

http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2011/05/coffee-tied-to-lower-p ro state-cancer-risk/
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/24/health/research/24prevention.html?_ r =0">http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/24/health/research/24prevention.ht ml?_r =0
 
2013-05-08 09:33:39 AM
Big Caffeine needs to hire this guy:

erveleskommma.komm.bme.hu
 
2013-05-08 09:35:02 AM

mama4mooing: I'm not much for banning things, but really caffeine in oatmeal? Putting it foods that don't normally contain doesn't sound wise.


a.tgcdn.net
http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f011/?pfm=Search&t=all-natural%20ca ff einated%20maple%20syrup
 
2013-05-08 09:35:13 AM

tennessee.hillbilly: Molavian: Good.

Don't you blaspheme in here!  Don't you blaspheme in here!

/You better stop and think about the consequences of your actions!


I laughed.  Thanks for that!

/Was on my second cup, going for my third.
//Also thanks subby for the image and sentiment!
///Dry white toast slashy
 
2013-05-08 09:35:42 AM

fluffy2097: Well, we're banning drinks over 16oz anyway, might as well take the caffeine out too.

We should also ban alcohol. Lots of people die from that. We tried it before and it worked great. No more bars.

Diamonds are inhumane. Ban them.

Tobacco causes cancer. Ban it.

Guns kill, even though you are 46% less likely to be shot today then you were in 1993, with gun crimes making up a massive 1% of violent crime.
(Mostly committed by and against black males between the age of 18 to 40. Maybe we should regulate black youth? We could put them to work on farms or something.)

Banning stuff makes it go away forever and ever. Liberalism showed me this by banning all kinds of shiat they don't like, like privacy.


Cigarettes should be banned, or at least, smokers should be in their own insurance pool so I don't have to pay for their lung cancer surgeries. 90% of lung cancer is due to smoking. If you want the freedom to smoke then you should accept the full health care costs of its effects.
 
8zo [TotalFark]
2013-05-08 09:35:49 AM

fluffy2097: Well, we're banning drinks over 16oz anyway, might as well take the caffeine out too.

We should also ban alcohol. Lots of people die from that. We tried it before and it worked great. No more bars.
Diamonds are inhumane. Ban them.
Tobacco causes cancer. Ban it.
Guns kill, even though you are 46% less likely to be shot today then you were in 1993, with gun crimes making up a massive 1% of violent crime.
(Mostly committed by and against black males between the age of 18 to 40. Maybe we should regulate black youth? We could put them to work on farms or something.)
Banning stuff makes it go away forever and ever. Liberalism showed me this by banning all kinds of shiat they don't like, like privacy.


You are going in the right direction here, but guns are the only thing they want to ban.  Everything else, particularly food and air, they want to TAX !
 
2013-05-08 09:36:45 AM
That's it, I am NOT voting for Obama next time.
 
2013-05-08 09:39:08 AM

fluffy2097: Well, we're banning drinks over 16oz anyway, might as well take the caffeine out too.

We should also ban alcohol. Lots of people die from that. We tried it before and it worked great. No more bars.

Diamonds are inhumane. Ban them.

Tobacco causes cancer. Ban it.

Guns kill, even though you are 46% less likely to be shot today then you were in 1993, with gun crimes making up a massive 1% of violent crime.
(Mostly committed by and against black males between the age of 18 to 40. Maybe we should regulate black youth? We could put them to work on farms or something.)

Banning stuff makes it go away forever and ever. Liberalism showed me this by banning all kinds of shiat they don't like, like privacy.


In all fairness, there really isn't any privacy anymore.
 
2013-05-08 09:39:45 AM
I'm surprised that the Atlantic would stoop to such a Fox News style fear mongering headline.

The FDA is looking at products targeted for kids where caffeine is being added.
 
2013-05-08 09:40:47 AM

thornhill: Cigarettes should be banned, or at least, smokers should be in their own insurance pool so I don't have to pay for their lung cancer surgeries. 90% of lung cancer is due to smoking. If you want the freedom to smoke then you should accept the full health care costs of its effects.


UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE FOR EVERYONE

IF YOU HAVE A VICE, NO HEALTHCARE FOR YOU!

THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY. FREEDOM TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AS LONG AS IT'S WHATEVER THEY SAY.
 
2013-05-08 09:41:15 AM

flucto: That's it, I am NOT voting for Obama next time.


nobody is. he's just going to take the White House w/o an election. haven't you seen the dinesh d'souza movie?
 
2013-05-08 09:41:30 AM

thornhill: Cigarettes should be banned, or at least, smokers should be in their own insurance pool so I don't have to pay for their lung cancer surgeries. 90% of lung cancer is due to smoking. If you want the freedom to smoke then you should accept the full health care costs of its effects.


If you want the freedom to climb mountains then you should accept the full health care costs of its effects when you break a leg.

If you want the freedom to eat fried food then you should accept the full health care costs of its effects when you have a heart attack.

Almost anything a person does will compromise their health in some way or another. You have vices that negatively impact your health as well. Also, when I'm dead at 50, you won't have to pay for my eye surgery and dentures and life support.
 
2013-05-08 09:42:01 AM

thornhill: Cigarettes should be banned, or at least, smokers should be in their own insurance pool so I don't have to pay for their lung cancer surgeries.


Smokers already pay much higher insurance premiums for exactly that reason.
 
2013-05-08 09:42:06 AM
Can the FDA go after the rubes who think coffee is burnt Starbucks beans mixed with a cup of cream, sugar and other sweeteners?

/coffee snob
 
2013-05-08 09:42:15 AM
I started drinking coffee in college to get me through morning classes.  This author and anyone who agrees can EABOD.

/twitch
 
2013-05-08 09:42:57 AM
The more corrupt the government, the more numerous the laws.
 
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