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(Boston Herald)   Embalmer of Boston Marathon bombing suspect now wants White House help on what to do with the body, is worried about being stiffed with the stiff   (bostonherald.com) divider line 151
    More: Followup, White House, Boston, Tamerlan Tsarnaev, Ruslan Tsarni  
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3265 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2013 at 9:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



151 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-05-08 08:33:31 AM
Piñata?
 
2013-05-08 08:36:13 AM
Well, if no one here wants to bury him, I'm sure his crack pot mom can get him buried in Dagistan.
 
2013-05-08 08:39:32 AM
I don't get it,  it's just a hunk of flesh. If anything really a local cemetery should accept him and then sell the land to pig farmers.
 
2013-05-08 08:41:07 AM
In the old days, you'd load his body on a wagon and let kids hit him with sticks for a half-pence.

I don't really know what they do these days. It seems strange and confusing to me.
 
2013-05-08 08:50:59 AM
Stefan said yesterday as protesters continued to picket the Graham Putnam & Mahoney Funeral Parlor in Worcester.

People sure seem to have an awful lot of time on their hands.
 
2013-05-08 09:33:29 AM
Can't they just cremate him and drop him in the ocean or something?
 
2013-05-08 09:34:10 AM
ZOMG this mean Obama will have him buried at Arlington with full military honors!
 
2013-05-08 09:38:31 AM
He is worried about being stuck with a stiffie.
 
2013-05-08 09:44:10 AM

Aar1012: ZOMG this mean Obama will have him buried at Arlington with full military honors!


AND A FULL MUSLIN CELEBRATION AT THE TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER!!!   WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!!!
 
2013-05-08 09:56:24 AM
They've got a harbor in Boston, right?
 
2013-05-08 09:57:00 AM
ok, let me solve your problem right now. you cut up his body into 1000 small pieces and epoxy them like they do to those chinese convicts for that museum exhibit and then you sell each piece for 100 bucks. If you hate America you could put it on your altar and worship it and if you love America you could play t-ball  with it. Win/win for everyone.
 
2013-05-08 09:57:29 AM
Use the body of Elmer McCurdy as inspiration
 
2013-05-08 09:58:28 AM

slayer199: Can't they just cremate him and drop him in the ocean or something?


Had the same thought while listening to this "issue" on NPR, earlier.

/Bonfire before the next Sox game
 
2013-05-08 09:58:56 AM

slayer199: Can't they just cremate him and drop him in the ocean or something?


Can't cremate him OR let hin sleep with Osama.

/I say just drop him off with his widow.
 
2013-05-08 10:00:46 AM

Aar1012: ZOMG this mean Obama will have him buried at Arlington with full military honors!


And the Blue Angels will fly up from Florida to perform a missing man flyby!
 
2013-05-08 10:00:48 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: I don't get it,  it's just a hunk of flesh. If anything really a local cemetery should accept him and then sell the land to pig farmers.


What for?  Just throw the body to the pigs.
 
2013-05-08 10:01:18 AM

Gonz: They've got a harbor in Boston, right?


Probably want to take him out past the 12 mile limit.

Probably.
 
2013-05-08 10:02:10 AM

spentmiles: Hang his body from the Statue of Liberty's torch.  Let it be a warning to all who wish to come here that we don't put up with any bullshiat.


They have some cages for that very purpose in Muenster they might let us borrow one.
cdn3.vtourist.com
 
2013-05-08 10:03:55 AM
I got a few ideas what they can do with the body.
 
2013-05-08 10:03:56 AM
I have the answer to this problem:  "someone" break into the funeral parlor and steal the body and just "take care of it".  Body's gone, no problem.
 
2013-05-08 10:04:16 AM
Burn him to ash, throw him in the trash.

Problem solved.
 
2013-05-08 10:04:39 AM
Gov Patrick had the best response; this is not a govt issue it is a family issue, the family needs to make the arrangements.
 
2013-05-08 10:04:53 AM

SoupJohnB: slayer199: Can't they just cremate him and drop him in the ocean or something?

Had the same thought while listening to this "issue" on NPR, earlier.

/Bonfire before the next Sox game


It's somewhat of a difficult situation. On one hand, it's a corpse and has no rights.  On the other, if you are seen "mistreating"  the corpse or disrespecting the religious beliefs of the family, it would spark more outrage. I only see one win/win situation.  eBay.
 
2013-05-08 10:05:47 AM
Just "lose" it.

"Sorry, our paperwork shows the body was not delivered here."
 
2013-05-08 10:06:43 AM

aevorea: Aar1012: ZOMG this mean Obama will have him buried at Arlington with full military honors!

And the Blue Angels will fly up from Florida to perform a missing man flyby!


Um, I believe they've been "sequestered."
 
2013-05-08 10:10:44 AM
Stiffed with the stiff?

\NTTAWWT
 
2013-05-08 10:11:23 AM
Just hang it from the Tree of Woe.
 
2013-05-08 10:11:49 AM
I'll say it again...

He's DEAD. You can't make him suffer anymore. You can't 'get him'. You can't do a damn thing to him now. So get over yourselves and put him in the god damn ground already.
 
2013-05-08 10:12:04 AM
No cemetery is going to take the body because they can't provide enough security.  You *know* what's going to happen to that grave.  And probably to nearby graves as well.
 
2013-05-08 10:12:25 AM
Is this today's thread where I reccomend they do outrageous things to the corpse and become internet-hardcore?
 
2013-05-08 10:12:32 AM
Bury him in the local cemetery and install a urinal on top.
 
2013-05-08 10:13:40 AM

AeAe: IdBeCrazyIf: I don't get it,  it's just a hunk of flesh. If anything really a local cemetery should accept him and then sell the land to pig farmers.

What for?  Just throw the body to the pigs.


It's already been embalmed.  That'll poison the bacon.
 
2013-05-08 10:13:52 AM

First we:

jafiwam: Just "lose" it.

"Sorry, our paperwork shows the body was not delivered here."



Then we:

Mangoose: load his body on a wagon and let kids hit him with sticks for a half-pence.


Then we:

IdBeCrazyIf: sell the land to pig farmers.



ding

we got a winner

 
2013-05-08 10:14:16 AM
I don't understand this.  Why was he not cremeted to begin with?  Did his family claim his body from the Coroner?  If so, then yes they have to make arrangements.  But if they never claimed the body, then the funeral director should have had him cremated.  Problem solved, give the ashes to the wife.
 
2013-05-08 10:14:16 AM

AeAe: I have the answer to this problem:  "someone" break into the funeral parlor and steal the body and just "take care of it".  Body's gone, no problem.


Time to dig a hole.

Get these guys on it:

bullmurph.com
 
2013-05-08 10:16:56 AM
This thread helps me understand racially segregated cemeteries.

He's already dead, you won.

The ground isn't sacred, and we bury criminals all the time.
 
2013-05-08 10:17:15 AM

raerae1980: I don't understand this.  Why was he not cremeted to begin with?  Did his family claim his body from the Coroner?  If so, then yes they have to make arrangements.  But if they never claimed the body, then the funeral director should have had him cremated.  Problem solved, give the ashes to the wife.


It's against Muslim tradition to cremate the body.
 
2013-05-08 10:17:22 AM
Cremate him and put the ashes in a pressure cooker?

/just sayin
 
2013-05-08 10:17:32 AM
What'll happen if somebody does bury him in Boston? Will they be sealed in a cave?

//obscure?
 
2013-05-08 10:18:19 AM
ts2.mm.bing.net
 
2013-05-08 10:18:35 AM
Speech writer to immediately put up a garbled talk on the teleprompter about how we should all stand as one in this time of change, and throw the body on the barbie
 
2013-05-08 10:19:32 AM

HotWingConspiracy: This thread helps me understand racially segregated cemeteries.

He's already dead, you won.

The ground isn't sacred, and we bury criminals all the time.


Maybe you're not getting it.  People are angry.  They will desecrate where this guy is buried.
 
2013-05-08 10:20:03 AM
If a poor person dies, and nobody wants to pay for a funeral, the government cremates you, no questions asked.

Whats the problem?  Why are we still talking about this corpse?
 
2013-05-08 10:22:06 AM
Wrap the body in bacon, then wrap that inside an old carpet, then call for a "large item" garbage pickup.
 
2013-05-08 10:23:00 AM

AeAe: raerae1980: I don't understand this.  Why was he not cremeted to begin with?  Did his family claim his body from the Coroner?  If so, then yes they have to make arrangements.  But if they never claimed the body, then the funeral director should have had him cremated.  Problem solved, give the ashes to the wife.

It's against Muslim tradition to cremate the body.


So?  Maybe he should have thought of that before murdering people.  Your tradition says you don't want to be cremated?  I don't give a fark.  In this case, do whatever is easiest.  Cremation is the easiest.  jeez.  Pfft.  Tradition.  What a load of horse crap.
 
2013-05-08 10:24:20 AM

The_Fuzz: So?  Maybe he should have thought of that before murdering people.  Your tradition says you don't want to be cremated?  I don't give a fark.  In this case, do whatever is easiest.  Cremation is the easiest.  jeez.  Pfft.  Tradition.  What a load of horse crap.


This.  My religion says my corpse needs to be returned to space, where all matter formed.  So... let me know when uncle sams going to get on that.

/Its up to you to make your own arrangements like this
 
2013-05-08 10:24:28 AM

Alonjar: If a poor person dies, and nobody wants to pay for a funeral, the government cremates you, no questions asked.

Whats the problem?  Why are we still talking about this corpse?


Because Muslins.
 
2013-05-08 10:25:05 AM

AeAe: HotWingConspiracy: This thread helps me understand racially segregated cemeteries.

He's already dead, you won.

The ground isn't sacred, and we bury criminals all the time.

Maybe you're not getting it.  People are angry.  They will desecrate where this guy is buried.


No I get it, I'm mocking the angry.
 
2013-05-08 10:25:15 AM
I understand the hate, but this is getting ridiculous. Just bury the damn thing.
 
2013-05-08 10:25:47 AM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Because Muslins.


I guess we could always give him the ol' Bin Laden treatment.  Just make it "a thing" we do to Muslim terrorists.
 
2013-05-08 10:28:00 AM

AeAe: What for? Just throw the body to the pigs.


Do you know what a nemesis is?
 
2013-05-08 10:29:24 AM

AeAe: raerae1980: I don't understand this.  Why was he not cremeted to begin with?  Did his family claim his body from the Coroner?  If so, then yes they have to make arrangements.  But if they never claimed the body, then the funeral director should have had him cremated.  Problem solved, give the ashes to the wife.

It's against Muslim tradition to cremate the body.


Some Muslims beleave it's against Muslim tradition to bomb the Boston Marathon.
 
2013-05-08 10:29:35 AM

The_Fuzz: AeAe: raerae1980: I don't understand this.  Why was he not cremeted to begin with?  Did his family claim his body from the Coroner?  If so, then yes they have to make arrangements.  But if they never claimed the body, then the funeral director should have had him cremated.  Problem solved, give the ashes to the wife.

It's against Muslim tradition to cremate the body.

So?  Maybe he should have thought of that before murdering people.  Your tradition says you don't want to be cremated?  I don't give a fark.  In this case, do whatever is easiest.  Cremation is the easiest.  jeez.  Pfft.  Tradition.  What a load of horse crap.


Hey man, I'm with you.  I say burn the asshole and throw the ashes in the trash.  it's simple, easy.. cheap even.

It's these other people that feel you have to respect the body or something.
 
2013-05-08 10:29:50 AM

Alonjar: If a poor person dies, and nobody wants to pay for a funeral, the government cremates you, no questions asked.

Whats the problem?  Why are we still talking about this corpse?


I doubt the government is too quick to pick up the tab, it's probably a months long process and in the meantime it makes for a story that you can sell ads around.
 
2013-05-08 10:30:10 AM
The parents have not claimed him? Wonderful people. Credit to the human race.

 A burial plot would be problematical, not just because of people who would desecrate the grave, but also people who would venerate him.

Just cremate and bury ashes at sea. Lowest cost option. Yes, its against muslim tradition, well then maybe the parents should claim his body and see to the matter if they want muslim tradition to be observed. If the gov't has to deal with it and PAY for it: cremate and bury at sea.
 
2013-05-08 10:30:20 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: AeAe: What for? Just throw the body to the pigs.

Do you know what a nemesis is?


tell me.
 
2013-05-08 10:30:27 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: I don't get it,  it's just a hunk of flesh. If anything really a local cemetery should accept him and then sell the land to pig farmers.


Perhaps burying folks is a profitable business, business owners tend to make business decisions, as in is this good or bad for the business. If we plant a Hollywood star, is that good for business or bad? Wherever Speedbump is planted, rest assured the site will have visitors, many visitors. They  still need to sell burial plots to the public and the plots around Speedbump will be very hard to sell.
 
2013-05-08 10:31:08 AM

sethen320: I understand the hate, but this is getting ridiculous. Just bury the damn thing.


Offering your front yard for the plot?
 
2013-05-08 10:34:58 AM
Been used as a speed bump once already.
A little asphalt, problem solved, useful too.
 
2013-05-08 10:35:41 AM

AeAe: raerae1980: I don't understand this.  Why was he not cremeted to begin with?  Did his family claim his body from the Coroner?  If so, then yes they have to make arrangements.  But if they never claimed the body, then the funeral director should have had him cremated.  Problem solved, give the ashes to the wife.

It's against Muslim tradition to cremate the body.


Ah, okay.  I didn't know that.  Well, still.  If I were that funeral director, I'd have cremated him, religion be damned in this case.
 
2013-05-08 10:35:56 AM
For the mortuary to have possession of the body from the Coroner's/ME's office I would think family has already signed for them to handle arrangements. He should put this matter on the family, not the government. I don't think he thought this thing through. I have no idea why this guy took the body, he should have known that he was going to have all sorts of trouble. Nobody in their right mind would have gotten themselves in this situation.
 
2013-05-08 10:37:47 AM

coroner74: For the mortuary to have possession of the body from the Coroner's/ME's office I would think family has already signed for them to handle arrangements. He should put this matter on the family, not the government. I don't think he thought this thing through. I have no idea why this guy took the body, he should have known that he was going to have all sorts of trouble. Nobody in their right mind would have gotten themselves in this situation.


Are you a coroner?
 
2013-05-08 10:38:24 AM
Funny how folks think that the law should stop applying if they're mad enough.
 
2013-05-08 10:39:32 AM

LargeCanine: sethen320: I understand the hate, but this is getting ridiculous. Just bury the damn thing.

Offering your front yard for the plot?


No. Not on any moral grounds either though. Thats just creepy. Plus I think there may be some zoning issues.
 
2013-05-08 10:41:08 AM

AeAe: raerae1980: I don't understand this.  Why was he not cremeted to begin with?  Did his family claim his body from the Coroner?  If so, then yes they have to make arrangements.  But if they never claimed the body, then the funeral director should have had him cremated.  Problem solved, give the ashes to the wife.

It's against Muslim tradition to cremate the body.


It's also against Muslim tradition to NOT bury the body within 24 hours of death. We're past Muslim tradition here.

I still vote shark-infested waters or similar.
 
2013-05-08 10:41:45 AM
s22.postimg.org

USA! USA! USA!
 
2013-05-08 10:43:28 AM
"You want to criticize me, fine. Criticism is cheap. Give me an idea."

Ok. Burn him and dump his ashes into the ocean so that no country will ever be the resting place of his remains. It's called the Eichmann, and it's what we should make standard practice for all terrorists. Since the Muslim community is so eager to disclaim terrorists as among their own, they should have no problem with us refusing to give them proper Islamic burials.
 
2013-05-08 10:43:54 AM
I'd go with burial at sea, at an unannouced time to prevent protests.  No grave to desecrate that way.
 
2013-05-08 10:44:37 AM

Antimatter: I'd go with burial at sea, at an unannouced time to prevent protests.  No grave to desecrate that way.


Agreed.
 
2013-05-08 10:45:04 AM
Hand it over to the Mythbusters and have them blow it up. Buster needs a rest.
 
2013-05-08 10:45:21 AM
Didn't we just have a thread on Norway needing more trash for it's incinerators?
 
2013-05-08 10:45:26 AM

Tommy Moo: "You want to criticize me, fine. Criticism is cheap. Give me an idea."

Ok. Burn him and dump his ashes into the ocean so that no country will ever be the resting place of his remains. It's called the Eichmann, and it's what we should make standard practice for all terrorists. Since the Muslim community is so eager to disclaim terrorists as among their own, they should have no problem with us refusing to give them proper Islamic burials.


You nailed it!

one free internet for Tommy
 
2013-05-08 10:50:18 AM

Alonjar: My religion says my corpse needs to be returned to space, where all matter formed.  So... let me know when uncle sams going to get on that.


If your religion had 2 billion followers worldwide (some of whom would use this as an excuse to escalate more violence) and space funerals were a $20 billion dollar a year industry, I don't think it would be that unreasonable to try to provide those arrangements.
 
2013-05-08 10:51:28 AM
AFAIK no one has ever claimed the recovered remains of the 9/11 hijackers and the FBI still has them.
 
2013-05-08 10:52:44 AM
Viking funeral.
Internet funds buy a used boat with GPS navigation. Set it for the middle of the north Atlantic, and send it off with a firebomb on a timer set to go off about a hundred miles out.
 
2013-05-08 10:52:51 AM

Infinite Monkeys In Front Of A Computer: Alonjar: My religion says my corpse needs to be returned to space, where all matter formed.  So... let me know when uncle sams going to get on that.

If your religion had 2 billion followers worldwide (some of whom would use this as an excuse to escalate more violence) and space funerals were a $20 billion dollar a year industry, I don't think it would be that unreasonable to try to provide those arrangements.


Not to mention, the government isn't footing the bill here, the family is.  It's just they can't find a place that will take him.

And if you want your ashes returned to space, there are companies who do that sort of thing.  Pricy though.
 
2013-05-08 10:53:50 AM

Tommy Moo: "You want to criticize me, fine. Criticism is cheap. Give me an idea."

Ok. Burn him and dump his ashes into the ocean so that no country will ever be the resting place of his remains. It's called the Eichmann, and it's what we should make standard practice for all terrorists. Since the Muslim community is so eager to disclaim terrorists as among their own, they should have no problem with us refusing to give them proper Islamic burials.


Exactly.
 
2013-05-08 10:55:36 AM
Call his wife, tell her she needs to claim the body.  If she says no, call the parents and tell them to come get him.  If they say no, toss him in the incinerator, scrape up the ashes and dispose of them in an unmarked potters grave.  There have been many other people who's religion forbid cremation that have been burned due to circumstances beyond the funeral homes control...
 
2013-05-08 10:56:18 AM

fat boy: AFAIK no one has ever claimed the recovered remains of the 9/11 hijackers and the FBI still has them.


There were remains?  I'm assuming it's not the guys that flew the planes into WTC.
 
2013-05-08 10:59:44 AM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: First we:

jafiwam: Just "lose" it.

"Sorry, our paperwork shows the body was not delivered here."


Then we:

Mangoose: load his body on a wagon and let kids hit him with sticks for a half-pence.

Then we:
IdBeCrazyIf: sell the land to pig farmers.


ding

we got a winner




I hope enjoy being king of the crazies.
 
2013-05-08 10:59:50 AM

Tommy Moo: Since the Muslim community is so eager to disclaim terrorists as among their own, they should have no problem with us refusing to give them proper Islamic burials.


I'm sure a vast majority of Muslims don't care what happens to his body.  It's the small, radical, backwards minority we don't want to piss off.  It sounds like you want to taunt this minority.
 
2013-05-08 11:02:34 AM

sethen320: LargeCanine: sethen320: I understand the hate, but this is getting ridiculous. Just bury the damn thing.

Offering your front yard for the plot?

No. Not on any moral grounds either though. Thats just creepy. Plus I think there may be some zoning issues.


I was being facetious. Pardon me, I will respond more seriously.

Cemeteries are private land and others have pointed out the problems that would be incurred by anyone who buried the body there. No one wants the headache or financial burden, especially because if the state has to pay it will be a pauper's burial. The best thing would be for the parents to claim their kin, but they won't do that.
 
2013-05-08 11:03:10 AM

fat boy: Tommy Moo: "You want to criticize me, fine. Criticism is cheap. Give me an idea."

Ok. Burn him and dump his ashes into the ocean so that no country will ever be the resting place of his remains. It's called the Eichmann, and it's what we should make standard practice for all terrorists. Since the Muslim community is so eager to disclaim terrorists as among their own, they should have no problem with us refusing to give them proper Islamic burials.

Exactly.


Agreed.
 
2013-05-08 11:04:27 AM

spentmiles: Hang his body from the Statue of Liberty's torch.  Let it be a warning to all who wish to come here that we don't put up with any bullshiat.  The elements and seabirds will pick his flesh clean and his bones will rattle the tune of freedom.  String them all up there, all the domestic and foreign terrorists that we catch, though do it while they're alive so their screams may add melody to the songs of justice.  The Statue of Liberty needs an update to her image - venture here at your own peril, scum.


This idea.  We're done here, folks.
 
2013-05-08 11:09:09 AM
I heard that if we eat his body, we can acquire his powers.

/Or, you know, we could act like a civilized society and just bury the corpse. Because...it's a corpse. Either way is good.
 
2013-05-08 11:20:07 AM
Bury it at the bottom of a pay toilet, and give all the proceeds to his victims.

/as for the coroner, no one wants to be left holding the (douche)bag.
 
2013-05-08 11:21:22 AM
Cremate it and send the ashes to dear old crazy mom.
 
2013-05-08 11:31:57 AM
I suggest the Guantanamo Memorial Cemetery.....

The place will never close, and nobody else will accept the prisoners from there, so eventually they will have to be put in the ground as well.

Just sayin'
 
2013-05-08 11:32:33 AM

AeAe: fat boy: AFAIK no one has ever claimed the recovered remains of the 9/11 hijackers and the FBI still has them.

There were remains?  I'm assuming it's not the guys that flew the planes into WTC.


http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/01/02/remains-of-the-day.ht ml
 
2013-05-08 11:33:22 AM
If the only problem is where to plant him, then why don't they just dig a hole somewhere in the desert around that Super-Max prison in Utah(?). Don't mark the spot and forget him.
 
Skr
2013-05-08 11:44:06 AM
burn it down to ashes and put it in a coffee can full of pig lard grease. dispose in landfill.
 
2013-05-08 11:49:17 AM
You're really a hateful bunch of lunatics.

/it amazes me that so much of humanity still thinks descricrating a corpse means something.
 
2013-05-08 11:49:35 AM

AeAe: raerae1980: I don't understand this.  Why was he not cremeted to begin with?  Did his family claim his body from the Coroner?  If so, then yes they have to make arrangements.  But if they never claimed the body, then the funeral director should have had him cremated.  Problem solved, give the ashes to the wife.

It's against Muslim tradition to cremate the body.


Well, according to a lot of Muslims it's also against tradition to blow people the hell up, but that still seems to happen.
 
2013-05-08 11:51:37 AM

spentmiles: Hang his body from the Statue of Liberty's torch.  Let it be a warning to all who wish to come here that we don't put up with any bullshiat.  The elements and seabirds will pick his flesh clean and his bones will rattle the tune of freedom.  String them all up there, all the domestic and foreign terrorists that we catch, though do it while they're alive so their screams may add melody to the songs of justice.  The Statue of Liberty needs an update to her image - venture here at your own peril, scum.


Agreed. I would also suggest that visitors be allowed to play patriotic music on the rib cages of their skeletons like a xylephone.
 
2013-05-08 11:54:20 AM
ts1.mm.bing.net
Looks like plenty of room here.
 
2013-05-08 11:57:45 AM

Mangoose: I hope enjoy being king of the crazies.


img89.imageshack.us
 
2013-05-08 12:02:29 PM

randomjsa: I'll say it again...

He's DEAD. You can't make him suffer anymore. You can't 'get him'. You can't do a damn thing to him now. So get over yourselves and put him in the god damn ground already.


Ok, then using your line of thinking: why not just cremate him and either toss the ashes or give them to his family? Why bother with a burial?
 
2013-05-08 12:04:59 PM
media.tumblr.com
...has some ideas that might be helpful.
 
2013-05-08 12:05:33 PM
kendavenport.typepad.com
 
2013-05-08 12:12:54 PM
There's no real option other than cremation. No point in having a grave that will get destroyed in a week.
 
2013-05-08 12:13:09 PM
Isn't there a law where if a body isn't claimed within a certain period of time, it's hauled off to the first med school that asks for it and then some frat boys get choppy-choppy with it?
 
2013-05-08 12:17:29 PM
UPS him to his folks, just don't send him C.O.D.
 
2013-05-08 12:26:15 PM

AeAe: raerae1980: I don't understand this.  Why was he not cremeted to begin with?  Did his family claim his body from the Coroner?  If so, then yes they have to make arrangements.  But if they never claimed the body, then the funeral director should have had him cremated.  Problem solved, give the ashes to the wife.

It's against Muslim tradition to cremate the body.


it's also against Muslim tradition to make pipe bombs, kill people and maim many others.  he lost his Islamic rights when he exploded the bombs.

/fark him
//burn him
 
2013-05-08 12:31:14 PM

monoski: Gov Patrick had the best response; this is not a govt issue it is a family issue, the family needs to make the arrangements.


Perhaps the first time I've actually agreed with the gov.
 
2013-05-08 12:32:31 PM
If they do bury him they better do it in an unmarked grave so there wont be a crowd there for morbid curiosity, desecration or reverance.
 
2013-05-08 12:37:24 PM
Can't they just cremate him and flush him down the toilet?
 
2013-05-08 12:39:37 PM

randomjsa: I'll say it again...

He's DEAD. You can't make him suffer anymore. You can't 'get him'. You can't do a damn thing to him now. So get over yourselves and put him in the god damn ground already.


I don't understand the sense of entitlement over which ground the guy is buried in. He can't hurt anyone else. Bury him, let his body return something of value to the earth and be done. Save your butthurt of "if only" and "he shouldn't be here". Death and burial aren't exclusive to citizenship. farking give me give me.
 
2013-05-08 12:45:17 PM
Why can't they just cremate the body and scatter the ashes?
 
2013-05-08 12:48:09 PM
Could they bronze him, give him an orange wig and set him up as a Ronald McDonald statue somewhere?

. . . well, it's an OPTION, jeez.
 
2013-05-08 12:49:41 PM

AeAe: coroner74: For the mortuary to have possession of the body from the Coroner's/ME's office I would think family has already signed for them to handle arrangements. He should put this matter on the family, not the government. I don't think he thought this thing through. I have no idea why this guy took the body, he should have known that he was going to have all sorts of trouble. Nobody in their right mind would have gotten themselves in this situation.

Are you a coroner?


I'd like to assign one.

/Obscure?
 
2013-05-08 01:01:56 PM

StrangeQ: Why can't they just cremate the body and scatter the ashes?


Or.. or.. just hear me out...

Chum the ocean for sharks, and throw him in ...  we all win!
 
2013-05-08 01:23:19 PM

randomjsa: I'll say it again...

He's DEAD. You can't make him suffer anymore. You can't 'get him'. You can't do a damn thing to him now. So get over yourselves and put him in the god damn ground already.


Now this is a surprising turn of events.
 
2013-05-08 01:33:52 PM
Bury him with Bin Laden... easy peasy...
 
2013-05-08 01:38:02 PM

monoski: Gov Patrick had the best response; this is not a govt issue it is a family issue, the family needs to make the arrangements.


It would appear that his widow does not want to be considered "family", and I can't blame her.
 
2013-05-08 01:44:14 PM
Mayor Menino says he won't allow him to be buried in Boston.

Okay, Mumbles, are you going to do the same when Whitey Bulger dies, too? Because he's responsible for far more murder and mayhem than the Chechen Speedbump.
 
2013-05-08 01:44:18 PM
i.qkme.me
 
2013-05-08 02:16:12 PM

Sybarite: Stefan said yesterday as protesters continued to picket the Graham Putnam & Mahoney Funeral Parlor in Worcester.

People sure seem to have an awful lot of time on their hands.


You've never been to Worcester, I take it? It's got a nice art museum, but that's about it.

/I feel sorry for the funeral home
//funeral home is known for dealing with those who couldn't afford a funeral/won't be buried by others
 
2013-05-08 02:35:24 PM
Solution:
Bury him on the Westboro Baptist Church property. Don't give them the option.
Problem solved.
 
2013-05-08 02:37:44 PM

UncleCal: Solution:
Bury him on the Westboro Baptist Church property. Don't give them the option.
Problem solved.


I have one better:  put the body *inside* the church, burn the whole thing down.
 
2013-05-08 02:43:42 PM
put him on a drag line behind a U2 and drop him over whateverastan.

/I'm sure he'll end up getting shipped back to Russia
//on our dime
 
2013-05-08 02:43:48 PM

randomjsa: I'll say it again...

He's DEAD. You can't make him suffer anymore. You can't 'get him'. You can't do a damn thing to him now. So get over yourselves and put him in the god damn ground already.


rjsa is the voice of reason?

25.media.tumblr.com

I guess they can ship him to Kansas.
 
2013-05-08 02:49:26 PM

LargeCanine: The parents have not claimed him? Wonderful people. Credit to the human race.


Not sure if sarcastic or serious...  Personally, family is family.  As others mentioned, he's dead.  Claim the body, bury it per religious requirements in a non-publicized plot in a remote cemetary, consider it done.  I'd leave off the headstone, without which you're unlikely to have any problems with vandalism.  People are mad, yes, but there's other things to concentrate on.
 
2013-05-08 03:19:30 PM
Who is the jackass who keeps submitting Herald links? That paper is the most irresponsible journalism this side of Fox News, and its vocabulary is dumbed down to fifth grade level so that transplanted rednecks have something to get all worked up over. The Herald's primary legit use is birdcage liner. If you eat any fish wrapped in the Herald, you get cancer.
 
2013-05-08 03:34:03 PM

randomjsa: I'll say it again...

He's DEAD. You can't make him suffer anymore. You can't 'get him'. You can't do a damn thing to him now. So get over yourselves and put him in the god damn ground already.


This.  The city of Cambridge needs to just STFU and bury him (or cremate him, I guess) in the same way they do all the other unclaimed bodies they get, pauper's grave or whatever it is.  He lived in Cambridge, he's unclaimed, that's it, end of story.  Handle it like all the rest of the homeless bodies, people who die in prison, etc.
 
2013-05-08 03:45:46 PM

LargeCanine: A burial plot would be problematical, not just because of people who would desecrate the grave, but also people who would venerate him.


The grave (with a full body or just ashes or whatever) doesn't need to be marked in any way.  It will have a number on it tied to some record somewhere but that's it, the public will never know which grave it is, and those places aren't trying to sell plots to anyone who is actually paying for their own burials anyway.  It's not a problem.
 
2013-05-08 04:37:22 PM
The Herald might be a tabloid paper, but at least they are not the Boston Globe who has been going out if business for years, but keeps getting "saved" by the politicians they are supposed to be reporting on. I wouldn't even use the Globe to line a bird cage, what a liberal rag with zero credibility.
 
2013-05-08 04:50:06 PM

Sybarite: Stefan said yesterday as protesters continued to picket the Graham Putnam & Mahoney Funeral Parlor in Worcester.

People sure seem to have an awful lot of time on their hands.


Yeah I love how people all talk about how evil the WBC is, then people turn around and do the exact same damn thing. News flash protesters: You wanna be better than the bomber?  Then stop being a horrible person.

/Get's my goat
//and I'm running out of goats
 
2013-05-08 04:50:51 PM
Cremation, give to parents. Maybe spit in the urn for good measure.
 
2013-05-08 04:58:42 PM

Reverend J: Sybarite: Stefan said yesterday as protesters continued to picket the Graham Putnam & Mahoney Funeral Parlor in Worcester.

People sure seem to have an awful lot of time on their hands.

Yeah I love how people all talk about how evil the WBC is, then people turn around and do the exact same damn thing. News flash protesters: You wanna be better than the bomber?  Then stop being a horrible person.

/Get's my goat
//and I'm running out of goats


Hmm.. let me understand what you're saying..

People angry at the Boston bomber after he killed 3 innocent people and injured hundreds ..  is the same as the WBC who picket soldiers' funerals killed in duty and say that gays should go to hell?  I can't place my finger quite on it, but these two things don't seem the same to me.  Hmmm...
 
2013-05-08 05:02:35 PM
The headline is misleading. Most funeral directors hold duel licenses as funeral director/embalmer. Muslims do not embalm or cremate. The burial ritual is very similar to the orthodox Jewish, (quite ironic, it is because they come from the desert. This means you get the body under ground as soon as you can.)

I offer this suggestion:
 The Body Farm in Tennessee.

Ultimately if the family can not fund a burial, the county or state will cover the cost (most states and counties cremate today.)

I also thought it was interesting that people protested the funeral home but did not protest the hospital that treated his brother.
 
2013-05-08 05:06:44 PM

AeAe: Reverend J: Sybarite: Stefan said yesterday as protesters continued to picket the Graham Putnam & Mahoney Funeral Parlor in Worcester.

People sure seem to have an awful lot of time on their hands.

Yeah I love how people all talk about how evil the WBC is, then people turn around and do the exact same damn thing. News flash protesters: You wanna be better than the bomber?  Then stop being a horrible person.

/Get's my goat
//and I'm running out of goats

Hmm.. let me understand what you're saying..

People angry at the Boston bomber after he killed 3 innocent people and injured hundreds ..  is the same as the WBC who picket soldiers' funerals killed in duty and say that gays should go to hell?  I can't place my finger quite on it, but these two things don't seem the same to me.  Hmmm...


I'm saying protesting funerals is morally reprehensible and should never be done. Not that difficult of notion to get your brain around.
 
2013-05-08 05:19:19 PM
I have a simple solution.
 
Give the surviving brother life in prison, and let the brothers share a cell.
 
50 years alone with his brothers rotting corpse.
 
2013-05-08 05:52:04 PM

Attention Whore of Babylon: No cemetery is going to take the body because they can't provide enough security.  You *know* what's going to happen to that grave.  And probably to nearby graves as well.

 
www.brutalashell.com
"But the most we can hope for is to get you buried in secrecy so your grave don't get violated!"
 
2013-05-08 06:30:32 PM
Maybe they should just toss it in the cell with the brother.  Let him deal with it.
 
2013-05-08 06:47:14 PM

Headso: ok, let me solve your problem right now. you cut up his body into 1000 small pieces and epoxy them like they do to those chinese convicts for that museum exhibit and then you sell each piece for 100 bucks. If you hate America you could put it on your altar and worship it and if you love America you could play t-ball  with it. Win/win for everyone.


i23.photobucket.com

Approves
 
2013-05-08 06:49:25 PM
Give it to a hog farm, let them feed the body to the hogs.

stir22: it's also against Muslim tradition to make pipe bombs, kill people and maim many others.


Obviously it isn't, since they do that every farking day.  You can't read a newspaper without reading articles about muslims doing that crap.  And they invariably scream about religion when they do it.
 
2013-05-08 07:08:27 PM
Mass. law requires every town to provide a suitable place for disposal of the dead.  Somebody needs to determine exactly where the guy died; that town has to take his corpse.
 
2013-05-08 07:13:44 PM

monoski: Gov Patrick had the best response; this is not a govt issue it is a family issue, the family needs to make the arrangements.


We're at the "or else what" stage now.
 
2013-05-08 07:15:28 PM

TV's Vinnie: Isn't there a law where if a body isn't claimed within a certain period of time, it's hauled off to the first med school that asks for it and then some frat boys get choppy-choppy with it?


No.  In most areas, county or municipal government must bury or cremate unclaimed bodies with a modicum of dignity.
 
2013-05-08 07:47:09 PM
He should loudly announce that he plans to bury it in a cemetery plot with a dead pig.  Muslims would freak, but then offer up a Muslim cemetery plot somewhere.
 
2013-05-08 07:57:35 PM

ginkor: He should loudly announce that he plans to bury it in a cemetery plot with a dead pig.  Muslims would freak, but then offer up a Muslim cemetery plot somewhere.


Yes, a funeral home should announce intention to desecrate a corpse. Brilliant business plan.
 
2013-05-08 08:02:23 PM
I know Muslims are not allowed to eat pork, but does it work the other way around?

media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-08 08:14:01 PM

Arkanaut: What'll happen if somebody does bury him in Boston? Will they be sealed in a cave?

//obscure?


Actually, I would've thought someone might've suggested dragging him around the perimeter of Boston several times behind a chariot by now.

//yay classics!
 
2013-05-08 08:57:09 PM
Haoie:
Cremation, give to parents. Maybe spit defecate in the urn for good measure.

FTFY
 
2013-05-08 09:13:30 PM
I still say grind him up, feed him to a pig with its anus sewed-shut. Air drop the pig onto the family shack back in the old country. Make sure there's a camera crew ready to cover the bacon bomb landing...
 
2013-05-08 09:14:51 PM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: ginkor: He should loudly announce that he plans to bury it in a cemetery plot with a dead pig.  Muslims would freak, but then offer up a Muslim cemetery plot somewhere.

Yes, a funeral home should announce intention to desecrate a corpse. Brilliant business plan.


That's not desecrating a corpse.  That is just giving him company in the afterlife, where he will get his 72 hagfishes.
 
2013-05-09 12:25:46 AM
Put the corpse on an aircraft carrier's catapult and charge money to be allowed to stand at the bow and shoot at the body as it whizzes off into the ocean.
 
2013-05-09 06:20:18 AM
Members of his family are denying he did anything, insisting that he was framed, so they're just as bad as he was.
 
2013-05-09 09:14:30 AM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Mangoose: I hope enjoy being king of the crazies.

[img89.imageshack.us image 525x347]


Oddly enough that is what I imagine it would be like having sisters. Or a threesome. Or a threesome with my sisters.
 
2013-05-09 01:20:32 PM
Turn it into shoes.  Muslims love shoes.
 
2013-05-09 04:49:36 PM
Heard on the news today that 'an anonymous philanthropic party' has agreed to take the body.

*shrug*  He's dead; dispose of the body how you will, pay no more attention to it.
 
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