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(Mirror.co.uk)   Motorist accused of exposing himself to girls tells court he was just applying ointment -- furiously applying ointment   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 26
    More: Sick, David Acres, Motorist accused, Northants, creams, Warwickshire, motorists  
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2722 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2013 at 6:08 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



26 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-05-07 11:58:54 PM
"No, no, no, Your Honor....I was rubbing one in, not out!"
 
2013-05-08 03:55:05 AM
I don't believe I've ever furiously masturbated.

Angrily, HELLS YEAH! But who hasn't?
 
2013-05-08 05:08:48 AM

TsarTom: I don't believe I've ever furiously masturbated.

Angrily, HELLS YEAH! But who hasn't?


You've never lived until you've been tied up and made to shoot blanks.

i.imgur.com

DONT JUDGE ME.
 
2013-05-08 05:24:56 AM

TsarTom: I don't believe I've ever furiously masturbated.

Angrily, HELLS YEAH! But who hasn't?


Have you ever beat your dick like it owes you money?
 
2013-05-08 06:14:46 AM
That's the chav I saw on the Telly fiddling his bangers and mash, wot wot.
 
2013-05-08 06:30:38 AM
A statement from Acres' wife said he had a problem with a sore genital area for some time but had not been to a doctor about it.

Better Send For Doctor Clap
 
2013-05-08 06:42:00 AM
Judge Alan Parker, who said he did not accept Acres' basis of plea, adjourned the case for a "trial of issue".

More like a "trial of tissue" - amiright?
 
2013-05-08 06:59:08 AM
Must remember to get car windows reflectively tinted...
 
2013-05-08 07:24:31 AM
Oddly enough, something similar to this happened locally but upon police investigation it was determined the guy actually did have some kind of loin rash and had a prescription for some ointment and cleared him.  I wasn't sure what to make of it really.
/note to self: do not apply lotions, ointments, balms or salves to the groinal area in public
 
2013-05-08 07:26:56 AM
There's another good one at the bottom of the page:

"I was just strumming a pretend banjo: Commuter cleared of indecency on a train"
 
2013-05-08 07:42:29 AM
AUNTIE RAE!
 
2013-05-08 07:47:28 AM
Stan Smith?
 
2013-05-08 08:01:43 AM
Who told him to put the balm on?
 
2013-05-08 08:02:11 AM
Who hasn't used the "I was just moisturizing"  defense?
 
2013-05-08 08:08:29 AM

Day_Old_Dutchie: A statement from Acres' wife said he had a problem with a sore genital area for some time but had not been to a doctor about it.

Better Send For Doctor Clap


It's a vicious circle, really.
 
2013-05-08 08:12:38 AM
shocked pupils

And lenses, retinas, aqueous humour.
 
2013-05-08 08:21:32 AM

JasonOfOrillia: shocked pupils

And lenses, retinas, aqueous humour.


Vitreous...
 
2013-05-08 08:34:00 AM
And THAT'S how they do it on Broadway.
 
2013-05-08 08:35:32 AM
What's his Fark handle?
 
2013-05-08 09:32:43 AM

drumfreek: What's his Fark handle?


I'm betting it's studman69...
 
2013-05-08 09:37:01 AM
Where's a pic of the guy so I can see if he is attractive?  How do I know whether or not to be outraged?
 
2013-05-08 10:51:01 AM
Applying ointment?  Doesn't ring a bell.

img180.imageshack.us
 
2013-05-08 12:20:35 PM
www.tigerbalm.com
 
2013-05-08 01:37:28 PM
David Acres has scored many Fantasy football points for me over the years!  He should get a free pass to pleasure himself in front of schoolchildren if he wants.


/oops, that was David Akers
 
2013-05-08 05:32:21 PM
images.tvrage.com
 
Really?  I'm the first?
 /hot
 
2013-05-08 10:44:34 PM

eyemarten: Stan Smith?


fang06554: [images.tvrage.com image 312x232]
 
Really?  I'm the first?
 /hot


First person I thought of.  This was the last episode I watched today on Netflix before leaving work.
 
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