If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Abc.net.au)   Don't tell my husband - "Oral sex new risk factor in oesophageal cancer"   (abc.net.au) divider line 94
    More: Sad, oesophageal cancer, liver cancer, acid reflux, Human sexual activity, University of NSW, hepatitis B, blood sera  
•       •       •

12279 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2013 at 1:06 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



94 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-05-07 09:56:31 PM  
This isn't the first time this year I've read a story like this one.

If I don't know anyone that has contracted cancer in this manner, I'm not going to even begin questioning eating at the Y.

/mmmm good
//real good
 
2013-05-07 10:52:20 PM  
I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).
 
2013-05-07 11:03:24 PM  
This is more of a "DONT SCREW AROUND WITH STRANGERS!" than a "Don't handle her business the way it needs to be handled" type thing.
 
2013-05-07 11:22:25 PM  
I've been telling my girlfriend that my semen is a CURE for cancer.  I'm immediately disputing this article...and it should NEVER go green.
 
2013-05-07 11:52:26 PM  
In related news, research indicates that buying a Total Fark subscription reduces your risk for all cancers, heart disease and obesity, and makes you more sexually attractive.


/Also doubles the odds that your submission will go green
 
2013-05-08 12:13:33 AM  
Oesophageal?

This is NOT Brittain, submitter. This is AMERICA. We don't add extraneous vowels. We don't talk like nancy boys here. We don't suck the Queen's member. We don't enjoy WARM tea (which should be a crime punishable by summary execution) and scones.
 
2013-05-08 12:36:38 AM  
DAMN YOU MODMINS FOR GREENLIGHTING THIS!

I turn my girlfriend on to Fark and this is my reward!  DAMN YOU!
 
2013-05-08 12:58:24 AM  
"......anything for love, but I won't do THAT (anymore)."
 
2013-05-08 01:08:23 AM  
I'm going down, cancer or not.
 
2013-05-08 01:09:11 AM  
Yeah!  Something else that kills us.
 
2013-05-08 01:11:29 AM  

hardinparamedic: Oesophageal?

This is NOT Brittain, submitter. This is AMERICA. We don't add extraneous vowels. We don't talk like nancy boys here. We don't suck the Queen's member. We don't enjoy WARM tea (which should be a crime punishable by summary execution) and scones.


Hey, I happen to LOVE hot tea and scones.

At least I'm not Canadian with all those unnecessary U's floating around.
 
2013-05-08 01:12:16 AM  

big_pth: This is more of a "DONT SCREW AROUND WITH STRANGERS!" than a "Don't handle her business the way it needs to be handled" type thing.


Nah. Don't eat pussy story. Women don't have orgasms in any case, and only pussies eat pussy, so this is basically a disease for gay people like AIDS.
 
2013-05-08 01:12:25 AM  

Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).


Dude. That sucks. You got that from cunnilingus?? You're sure??
 
2013-05-08 01:16:41 AM  
I assume phone sex is still safe.
 
2013-05-08 01:18:48 AM  

slayer199: DAMN YOU MODMINS FOR GREENLIGHTING THIS!

I turn my girlfriend on to Fark and this is my reward!  DAMN YOU!


If your dick is cut then it's no excuse for her not to go down.
 
2013-05-08 01:24:20 AM  
What, no sigh of relief because slut vaccine exists?
 
2013-05-08 01:27:17 AM  
Eventually they're going to link everything to HPV because something like 85% of the population has it.
 
2013-05-08 01:27:39 AM  
good thing the current farkbuddy doesn't read much.  More concerned with farking than anything else.  She's a monster in bed.  Anything and everything.  Why don't I marry her, you ask?  That's all we have.  The sex.  post-coitus, she tends to fall asleep.  She gives me blank stares when I ask about her work(retail), and more when I talk about classes(engineering).  I can see her brain glazing over when I start in on some of the more interesting subjects.  Conversation isn't the strong point; usually it is something along the lines of, "come fark me, now."  And I do.

/she'd be first with this form of cancer, should oral be the main factor
//she'd also decline to care about it, as she wants one thing only in life, the next big O
///they are real, by the way, which is probably why I'm still "with" her
 
2013-05-08 01:30:13 AM  
I have this sneaking suspicion that they're going to find out that the majority of cancers are caused by viruses or exposure to viruses.

Damn their scary alien living/not living existences anyway...
 
2013-05-08 01:32:29 AM  
Dammit, I knew something was wrong...
 
2013-05-08 01:32:41 AM  
So that means I'm only going to get hummers from stupid, ignorant, women? Because I'm not seeing how this will affect me.
 
2013-05-08 01:33:05 AM  
Well, "cancer" is just greek code for crabs anyway, so maybe if the ladies would shave that lolnomcat the problem would go away.
 
2013-05-08 01:33:41 AM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: What, no sigh of relief because slut vaccine exists?


Oh dear god. If a parent truly thinks that by giving their daughter a shot to prevent a virus that causes cancer they are giving their daughter PERMISSION to be a slut, they are a bad parent. I'm going, no, there's far scarier things they can get from being the neighborhood doorknob than HPV.
 
2013-05-08 01:36:26 AM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: big_pth: This is more of a "DONT SCREW AROUND WITH STRANGERS!" than a "Don't handle her business the way it needs to be handled" type thing.

Nah. Don't eat pussy story. Women don't have orgasms in any case, and only pussies eat pussy, so this is basically a disease for gay people like AIDS.


3/10

"only pussies eat pussy"gave you away
 
2013-05-08 01:39:26 AM  

Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).


Sorry to hear. I'm curious, how did you discover something was wrong and where at on the base of the tongue?what did it feel like at first?  Was there other sores or some other type of symptoms in your case? Loaded question.
 
2013-05-08 01:42:59 AM  
So, yeah, is the HPV transmitted only through fluids?
 
2013-05-08 01:43:43 AM  
www.abc.net.au
What oral sex may look like
 
2013-05-08 01:44:50 AM  
Dying from too much cunnilingus is still a more dignified way to go out than something like death by too much junk food. Also, a Google search of "death by cunnilingus" turned up this strange attempted murder by poisoned vagina gone wrong story: http://www.salon.com/2013/01/30/death_by_cunnilingus/
 
2013-05-08 01:46:12 AM  

Dee Snarl: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

Dude. That sucks. You got that from cunnilingus?? You're sure??


From HPV. This was just the transmission method. He could have just as easily had half his crotch removed instead.

Still, horrible thing to happen. Like the man says, vaccinate.
 
2013-05-08 01:50:32 AM  
All the good things in life will kill you.
 
2013-05-08 01:53:43 AM  

ladyfortuna: Damn their scary alien living/not living existences anyway...


My wife is a scientist and she got this picture on one of her scientist facebook groups yesterday...

3.bp.blogspot.com

I asked her if viruses really have legs like that and if they like walk around and stuff. She said viruses aren't actually alive.

Then I asked how can you kill something that's not alive? She made that creepy overly attached girlfriend face and said "you can't. Muwahhahahaha!"

/I'm just now recovering from the trauma
//Yeah, I'm stupid and sensitive and she's a genius super scientist so what?
 
2013-05-08 01:55:42 AM  
Also, you should heed the warnings when you're going down there...

Link

/Sorry
 
2013-05-08 01:56:57 AM  
If you actually read TFA, it plainly states that cause androids effect between eating puss and the cancer has not been established and that there is in fact a stronger link between acid reflux and esophegal cancer than oral sex. Either way I eat it hard, and will continue to do so, because death by sex is not a bad way to go at all.
 
2013-05-08 01:58:54 AM  
Between this and the antibiotic resistant gonorrhea story from yesterday we are all doomed.
 
2013-05-08 02:00:27 AM  

slayer199: I've been telling my girlfriend that my semen is a CURE for cancer.  I'm immediately disputing this article...and it should NEVER go green.


Proving you didn't read it.
 
2013-05-08 02:00:34 AM  
Goid thing we don't got no oesophagi here in 'Merika.
 
2013-05-08 02:01:01 AM  
since that already runs in the family, I smoke and drink, suffer from chronic heartburn, and that's my favorite hobby already...

meh


t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-08 02:02:04 AM  

illannoyin: Also, you should heed the warnings when you're going down there...

Link

/Sorry


GAH! I can almost smell the pungent stench now.
 
2013-05-08 02:09:44 AM  
I'm as good as dead.
 
2013-05-08 02:16:12 AM  

Amos Quito: /Also doubles the odds that your submission will go green



Soaking Drew's cork at $5 a month will make you a "winner" with minimal risk of cancer.

"The only winning move is not to play"

Oh noes...it went greeeeen!!1!  Now real people will be free to comment.

OHMYGERD!
 
2013-05-08 02:21:24 AM  
Rustico - I'm trying to get my TotalFark subscription renewed so I can see your email address and reach out to you but it's locking up. I'd REALLY like to email with you about this instead of just crying alone. Going through this now but at earlier step (biopsy this week) and have nobody who can give me advice, pointers, direction, etc. Can't post my email on here because it's too descriptive so don't disappear, please!
 
2013-05-08 02:29:09 AM  
Going to have to work this into my bar pity-screw pickup lines.

"Yeah, the doctor gave me six months to live, but if my treatment goes well I could have as much as a year. You know, because of the cancer...(sly grin)...esophageal cancer."

Allllright! Giggity giggity giggity!
 
2013-05-08 02:30:21 AM  
"Oral sex new risk factor in oesophageal cancer"

Oct 15, 2008 - Good Morning America explores the link between oral sex and throat cancer
May 11, 2007 - Oral Sex Can Add to HPV Cancer Risk

etc
 
2013-05-08 02:39:44 AM  

Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).


You should do one of those commercials where the lady with the artificial larynx chastises you not to smoke, only you'll say not to eat pussy.
 
2013-05-08 02:41:31 AM  
Adolescents who had oral sex compared to vaginal sex were also experiencing less health, social and emotional consequences. (They also reported experiencing fewer positive benefits... such as pleasure).

They're doing it wrong, then.  But they're adolescents; they have time to learn.

As for acid reflux, just learn to suppress your gag reflex.
 
2013-05-08 02:48:10 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: "Oral sex new risk factor in oesophageal cancer"

Oct 15, 2008 - Good Morning America explores the link between oral sex and throat cancer
May 11, 2007 - Oral Sex Can Add to HPV Cancer Risk

etc


Yeah, this is pretty old (and sad) news.
 
2013-05-08 02:53:34 AM  
Let me think here for a moment. Having normal sex can cause cervical cancer. Having anal sex can cause colon cancer. Whacking off might cause penile cancer. Playing with the boobs just might cause breast cancer. Eye makeup can cause optical cancer. Now, BJ's might cause oral cancer.

Tell me, what DOESN'T f##king cause cancer? I'd really like to know.

Teflon was supposed to be neutral, great for all sorts of things -- now cooking in Teflon pans can cause cancer. To make things even more fun, wear away the Teflon and you cook over aluminum alloy, which is now linked with Alzheimer's.

The list of cancer causing substances and actions has jumped from a few dozen in the 50's, to several hundred thousand in the 2000's.

Then again, anyone happen to notice that as the global population increases, so does the amount of things which cause cancer. Is nature trying to tell us something?
 
2013-05-08 02:58:27 AM  

Rik01: Let me think here for a moment. Having normal sex can cause cervical cancer. Having anal sex can cause colon cancer. Whacking off might cause penile cancer. Playing with the boobs just might cause breast cancer. Eye makeup can cause optical cancer. Now, BJ's might cause oral cancer.

Tell me, what DOESN'T f##king cause cancer? I'd really like to know.

Teflon was supposed to be neutral, great for all sorts of things -- now cooking in Teflon pans can cause cancer. To make things even more fun, wear away the Teflon and you cook over aluminum alloy, which is now linked with Alzheimer's.

The list of cancer causing substances and actions has jumped from a few dozen in the 50's, to several hundred thousand in the 2000's.

Then again, anyone happen to notice that as the global population increases, so does the amount of things which cause cancer. Is nature trying to tell us something?


Cancer is pretty clever.
 
2013-05-08 03:00:46 AM  

illannoyin: I asked her if viruses really have legs like that and if they like walk around and stuff. She said viruses aren't actually alive.


Bacteriophages typically have legs like that.  Viruses that infect plants and animals don't.
 
2013-05-08 03:03:55 AM  
HPVStrictly speaking, this appears to be not "oral sex leads to cancer" but "HPV leads to cancer", which is something we already know well. But HPV does seem a bit like smoking - it's not linked to one cancer, but many. Yeah, vaccinate your kids.
 
2013-05-08 03:05:36 AM  
So, any research on annilingus, yet?
 
2013-05-08 03:07:35 AM  
www.freeimagehosting.net
 
2013-05-08 03:09:57 AM  
Can we have a memorandum on fark repeat-linking the same topic?

This is getting worse than farking reddit, seriously.
 
2013-05-08 03:11:00 AM  

blahpers: Dee Snarl: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

Dude. That sucks. You got that from cunnilingus?? You're sure??

From HPV. This was just the transmission method. He could have just as easily had half his crotch removed instead.

Still, horrible thing to happen. Like the man says, vaccinate.


Dude, If I ever get prick cancer Im not getting my junk removed, Im gonna die of a cocaine and viagra overdose with 2 or more whores
 
2013-05-08 03:32:47 AM  
Old news is old.  There was a lot of press on this back when the HPV vaccines were being released to market.
 
2013-05-08 03:43:16 AM  

Oldiron_79: blahpers: Dee Snarl: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

Dude. That sucks. You got that from cunnilingus?? You're sure??

From HPV. This was just the transmission method. He could have just as easily had half his crotch removed instead.

Still, horrible thing to happen. Like the man says, vaccinate.

Dude, If I ever get prick cancer Im not getting my junk removed, Im gonna die of a cocaine and viagra overdose with 2 or more whores




If your foreskin has been removed you will not get cancer of the penis
 
2013-05-08 03:44:48 AM  
Memo to murikans: Eventually, you HAVE to die. So, more bearded clam for me! I already know what's killing me (diagnosed 19 years ago) so I don't give a flying four-engined double-decker fark about the rest.
 
2013-05-08 03:55:09 AM  

Trance354: good thing the current farkbuddy doesn't read much.  More concerned with farking than anything else.  She's a monster in bed.  Anything and everything.  Why don't I marry her, you ask?  That's all we have.  The sex.  post-coitus, she tends to fall asleep.  She gives me blank stares when I ask about her work(retail), and more when I talk about classes(engineering).  I can see her brain glazing over when I start in on some of the more interesting subjects.  Conversation isn't the strong point; usually it is something along the lines of, "come fark me, now."  And I do.


My advice: if you like farking her, marry her. OK, make sure you can have a conversation about raising kids and make sure you're on the same wavelength, but beyond that, marry for sex.

My wife hates the opera, doesn't like coffee, doesn't like extreme asian cinema, or red wine. I go to nerd conferences that go right over her head. And you know what, none of it matters. Because I realised that of all the girlfriends I had, she was the one I had the very best sex with.

Because here's the thing: it's absolutely fine in a marriage to go and watch cinema with someone other than my wife, or to drink red wine with someone other than my wife, or to go to a nerd conference with someone other than my wife.

There's one thing that you're not allowed to do with someone other than your wife, and that's farking. So, find someone you really like farking, someone you think you're going to be farking for the rest of your life and marry them.
 
2013-05-08 04:08:15 AM  

farkeruk: Trance354: good thing the current farkbuddy doesn't read much.  More concerned with farking than anything else.  She's a monster in bed.  Anything and everything.  Why don't I marry her, you ask?  That's all we have.  The sex.  post-coitus, she tends to fall asleep.  She gives me blank stares when I ask about her work(retail), and more when I talk about classes(engineering).  I can see her brain glazing over when I start in on some of the more interesting subjects.  Conversation isn't the strong point; usually it is something along the lines of, "come fark me, now."  And I do.

My advice: if you like farking her, marry her. OK, make sure you can have a conversation about raising kids and make sure you're on the same wavelength, but beyond that, marry for sex.

My wife hates the opera, doesn't like coffee, doesn't like extreme asian cinema, or red wine. I go to nerd conferences that go right over her head. And you know what, none of it matters. Because I realised that of all the girlfriends I had, she was the one I had the very best sex with.

Because here's the thing: it's absolutely fine in a marriage to go and watch cinema with someone other than my wife, or to drink red wine with someone other than my wife, or to go to a nerd conference with someone other than my wife.

There's one thing that you're not allowed to do with someone other than your wife, and that's farking. So, find someone you really like farking, someone you think you're going to be farking for the rest of your life and marry them.




Or do what I did and marry the first gal you farked. I don't regret it.
 
2013-05-08 04:26:01 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: Oldiron_79: blahpers: Dee Snarl: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

Dude. That sucks. You got that from cunnilingus?? You're sure??

From HPV. This was just the transmission method. He could have just as easily had half his crotch removed instead.

Still, horrible thing to happen. Like the man says, vaccinate.

Dude, If I ever get prick cancer Im not getting my junk removed, Im gonna die of a cocaine and viagra overdose with 2 or more whores

If your foreskin has been removed you will not get cancer of the penis


Don't be irresponsible. Circumcision has been linked to reduced cancer rate. It does not immunize you.
 
2013-05-08 04:45:19 AM  

Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).


So did you retire completely or did you dive right back in?
/glad it didn't kill you buddy!
 
2013-05-08 05:03:52 AM  

MagSeven: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).


I will never understand why this isnt a mandatory vaccine, prevents cancer nuff said give it to everyone right now and as far as I know there are no negative side effects if someone is already infected so about about we try to eradicate something reason I hate politics and health care
 
2013-05-08 05:07:59 AM  

WillofJ2: MagSeven: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

I will never understand why this isnt a mandatory vaccine, prevents cancer nuff said give it to everyone right now and as far as I know there are no negative side effects if someone is already infected so about about we try to eradicate something reason I hate politics and health care


Agreed completely. When/If I ever have kids, they'll get it for sure. I'm pissed I'm too old to get it myself (31). Can never be too careful.
 
2013-05-08 05:08:11 AM  

blahpers: Mid_mo_mad_man: Oldiron_79: blahpers: Dee Snarl: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

Dude. That sucks. You got that from cunnilingus?? You're sure??

From HPV. This was just the transmission method. He could have just as easily had half his crotch removed instead.

Still, horrible thing to happen. Like the man says, vaccinate.

Dude, If I ever get prick cancer Im not getting my junk removed, Im gonna die of a cocaine and viagra overdose with 2 or more whores

If your foreskin has been removed you will not get cancer of the penis

Don't be irresponsible. Circumcision has been linked to reduced cancer rate. It does not immunize you.




In no way was I saying not to get the vaccine. I was just say in men that had circumcisions cancer of the penis is almost unheard of.
 
2013-05-08 05:11:21 AM  
Mid_mo_mad_man:In no way was I saying not to get the vaccine. I was just say in men that had circumcisions cancer of the penis is almost unheard of.

It's not unheard of, it's just rare. However, it tends to be more aggressive as well, and that is just for circumcision in childhood, with adult males having a HIGHER rate of invasive penile cancer after circumcision as an adult.
 
2013-05-08 05:21:33 AM  

hardinparamedic: Mid_mo_mad_man:In no way was I saying not to get the vaccine. I was just say in men that had circumcisions cancer of the penis is almost unheard of.

It's not unheard of, it's just rare. However, it tends to be more aggressive as well, and that is just for circumcision in childhood, with adult males having a HIGHER rate of invasive penile cancer after circumcision as an adult.




Most people would assume its rare if you said its almost unheard of. Btw who's geting thier foreskin removed as an adult
 
2013-05-08 05:31:59 AM  
countdowntothecampout.files.wordpress.com= eat it out

www.antiquesfromtheweb.com= leave it alone
 
2013-05-08 05:33:05 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: Btw who's geting thier foreskin removed as an adult


People with  phimosis that can't be reduced or are traumatic in nature, people with balanoposthitis, and people who have chronic, recurrent UTIs (which can be fatal through urosepsis)
 
2013-05-08 05:34:16 AM  
like biatches need an excuse not to suck dick other than, eeewww!
 
2013-05-08 06:07:48 AM  

hardinparamedic: Mid_mo_mad_man: Btw who's geting thier foreskin removed as an adult

People with  phimosis that can't be reduced or are traumatic in nature, people with balanoposthitis, and people who have chronic, recurrent UTIs (which can be fatal through urosepsis)




That's got to hurt!
 
2013-05-08 06:10:58 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: That's got to hurt!


Well, if you think that's bad...

This is what happens when you don't seek medical help after having an erection lasting four hours or more.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-08 06:12:54 AM  

Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).


:O

:O

...

:O !
 
2013-05-08 06:19:47 AM  

slayer199: DAMN YOU MODMINS FOR GREENLIGHTING THIS!

I turn my girlfriend on to Fark and this is my reward!  DAMN YOU!


This is why I had to change my name a few years ago. My then-GF kept reading my posts and didn't seem to 'get' Fark's unique (and very dark) sense of humor. So every other day I'd be asked something like, "So, you think being raped by a golden retriever is funny?" And I'm all, "Well, kinda, yeah." Then I'd have to explain that it's just the internet and that in real life I actually have manners and restraint.

"I'm not sure I like you hanging out at that site. Those people are awful."

Then she told her dad something like, "You should read his comments about politics. He makes some good observations" This was followed by being accused of being a communist. The moral of the story is to never share your Fark login with anyone.

/previous user name wasn't as sophomoric as this one, which began as a joke but I'm now too invested in it to change to something that doesn't sound as if I'm 12 years old.
 
2013-05-08 06:21:52 AM  

dickfreckle: slayer199: DAMN YOU MODMINS FOR GREENLIGHTING THIS!

I turn my girlfriend on to Fark and this is my reward!  DAMN YOU!

This is why I had to change my name a few years ago. My then-GF kept reading my posts and didn't seem to 'get' Fark's unique (and very dark) sense of humor. So every other day I'd be asked something like, "So, you think being raped by a golden retriever is funny?" And I'm all, "Well, kinda, yeah." Then I'd have to explain that it's just the internet and that in real life I actually have manners and restraint.

"I'm not sure I like you hanging out at that site. Those people are awful."

Then she told her dad something like, "You should read his comments about politics. He makes some good observations" This was followed by being accused of being a communist. The moral of the story is to never share your Fark login with anyone.

/previous user name wasn't as sophomoric as this one, which began as a joke but I'm now too invested in it to change to something that doesn't sound as if I'm 12 years old.


I always thought your name was dick freckle. Huh. Learn something new every day.
 
2013-05-08 07:58:48 AM  

Public Savant: So, any research on annilingus, yet?


Just the one linking it to halitosis.
 
2013-05-08 08:13:12 AM  
The first sperm says to the second sperm, "When do we meet up with the egg?" The second sperm says, "It's going to be awhile, we're still in the esophagus."
 
2013-05-08 08:24:09 AM  

Mark Ratner: I assume phone sex is still safe.


Depends on where you're putting it.
 
2013-05-08 08:28:07 AM  
Anybody else read the research institute as "NSFW"
 
2013-05-08 08:29:38 AM  

Rik01: Let me think here for a moment. [...]
The list of cancer causing substances and actions has jumped from a few dozen in the 50's, to several hundred thousand in the 2000's.

Then again, anyone happen to notice that as the global population increases, so does the amount of things which cause cancer. Is nature trying to tell us something?


I believe this is not a factor of population per se, but of the advances of science and our understanding of cancers.

Now there might be something said for the spread of some cancers increasing with social globalization of the population ( with increased opportunity for transmission ) , and our continued industrialization ( pollution, advanced chemical/biological use, etc)  , but that is not related to shear population.
 
2013-05-08 08:32:02 AM  
This isn't news. I remember reading a story like this 6 years ago. In fact, I wrote a joke about it and told it on stage my first time up. It got my biggest response.

I only did stand up 4 times... wasn't that good, but other comedians liked my oral sex throat cancer bit.

/If oral sex caused throat cancer, throat cancer would be the number 1 killer IN THE WORLD. Half of you would be on hospice right now. If oral sex caused throat cancer, Vatican City would be a ghost town. etc etc
 
2013-05-08 08:32:55 AM  
I tried to ask this girl I've been seeing recently if she's had Guardasil, and she got all grossed out and jittery and I think mumbled yes before changing the subject. For some reason people don't like having a calm, mature discussion about these things. I'm hoping to find an opportunity to bring it up again.
 
2013-05-08 08:43:10 AM  

Tommy Moo: I tried to ask this girl I've been seeing recently if she's had Guardasil, and she got all grossed out and jittery and I think mumbled yes before changing the subject. For some reason people don't like having a calm, mature discussion about these things. I'm hoping to find an opportunity to bring it up again.


Stop dating high schoolers, old man.
 
2013-05-08 08:44:45 AM  
Well I'm farked.
 
2013-05-08 09:32:26 AM  

Theory Of Null: Sorry to hear. I'm curious, how did you discover something was wrong and where at on the base of the tongue?what did it feel like at first?  Was there other sores or some other type of symptoms in your case?


Headaches were the first thing. Lymph nodes swelled. Like when you get a cold, but HUGE and they didn't go back down. The left side of my neck looked like I had a golfball under my skin.

The cells on the base of tongue were very hard to spot. The day the surgeons were going to take out my tonsils, the found the primary tumor and cut that off instead. Having things cut out of your mouth hurts, and this was just a small piece of my tongue.


simplesimone: My email is my handle at gmail dot com.  Please reach out.
 
2013-05-08 10:36:20 AM  
Walter Paisley:

Dying from too much cunnilingus is still a more dignified way to go out than something like death by too much junk food.

Damn straight.

Are there any hot Fakettes in Lexington KY who'd like to try to kill me soon?

By the way, TFA says "hepatitis B causes liver cancer." However according to Wikipedia "Hepatitis C is the primary cause of liver cancer."

Which reminds me, it's about time to get checked for Hep C again just in case. Those who drink like I do or worse should be careful of our livers. I'm very wary of acetaminophen too. And don't mix booze with Tylenol! Liver failure sounds like a horrible way to go: I'd rather just "lay my head on the railroad tracks and wait for the Double E."

But cunnilingus sounds like an acceptable risk. Line forms here. EIP!


(Too bad Fark won't allow the Blink tag.)
 
2013-05-08 10:43:42 AM  
Rik01:

Then again, anyone happen to notice that as the global population increases, so does the amount of things which cause cancer. Is nature trying to tell us something?

Q: What do you want us to do?

A: Die. Die.
 
2013-05-08 10:44:53 AM  
Public Savant:

So, any research on annilingus, yet?

See yesterday's thread about that "superbug."
 
2013-05-08 10:46:10 AM  
Oldiron_79:

Dude, If I ever get prick cancer Im not getting my junk removed, Im gonna die of a cocaine and viagra overdose with 2 or more whores

But for pete's sake wear a condom. It's not only contagious, it's UGLY.
 
2013-05-08 11:15:23 AM  
farkeruk:

There's one thing that you're not allowed to do with someone other than your wife, and that's farking. So, find someone you really like farking, someone you think you're going to be farking for the rest of your life and marry them.

I did that when I was 19. Three months later she ditched me for a guy who was twice my age, had 1/3 of my hair and much more money.

Usually I regret not agreeing with the doc's advice to sign her in to the mental ward when she was having her stomach pumped from a suicide attempt; that would have been better for her.

Sometimes I regret not letting her lay there and choke to death on her own puke.

But till then she was tres hot and a LOT of fun in bed. And in the car, in the bushes... Put it this way: on the second date when she told me she had herpes I said basically "So what. It's not fatal. And you're SO DAMN HOT." Not that I tried to catch it, I always used a condom for "PIV" coitus -- but then I did that for birth control anyway  Since then I've read that if you already have HSV-1 ("oral" herpes a.k.a. "cold sores"), which I've had since elementary school if not before, you're less likely to catch HSV-2 (the "genital" kind) and if you do it'll be much less severe.

She'd said nothing about warts but I'd've said the same thing about that.

But wouldn't you know it, the only things she ever gave me was a cold, a broken heart, a nervous breakdown and a divorce. Lucky me, huh?
 
2013-05-08 02:37:39 PM  

Rustico: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7739985/84078321#c84078321" target="_blank">Theory Of Null</a>:</b> <i>Sorry to hear. I'm curious, how did you discover something was wrong and where at on the base of the tongue?what did it feel like at first?  Was there other sores or some other type of symptoms in your case?</i>

Headaches were the first thing. Lymph nodes swelled. Like when you get a cold, but HUGE and they didn't go back down. The left side of my neck looked like I had a golfball under my skin.

The cells on the base of tongue were very hard to spot. The day the surgeons were going to take out my tonsils, the found the primary tumor and cut that off instead. Having things cut out of your mouth hurts, and this was just a small piece of my tongue.


<big><u><strong>simplesimone</strong></u>: My email is my handle at gmail dot com.  Please reach out.</big>


Thanks for replying. I've had a weird ass feeling in my throat for a few years (no noticeable swelling though), but every time I go get checked out they say everything is ok and just subscribe me antibiotics and painkillers. I'm glad you're ok now. Cancer is some scary shiat.
 
2013-05-08 03:47:10 PM  

dickfreckle: The moral of the story is to never share your Fark login with anyone.


Lordfortuna asked me one day what my user name is and I told him the first name that came to mind (obviously not mine). Fortunately he respects my privacy and doesn't go on my computers... I'd know if he had because there's no way he could keep his mouth shut if he did read some of my posts here.
 
2013-05-08 06:56:30 PM  

Rik01: Teflon was supposed to be neutral, great for all sorts of things -- now cooking in Teflon pans can cause cancer. To make things even more fun, wear away the Teflon and you cook over aluminum alloy, which is now linked with Alzheimer's.



Do you have a citation for that?  A cursory search (ignoring inflammatory news articles) seems to refute that.  This WebMD article cites an EPA study that says there isn't a link between teflon and cancer: http://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/teflon-pans
 
2013-05-08 11:29:02 PM  
Silly CorruptDB: teflon doesn't stick to anything-even WebMD!
 
2013-05-09 12:35:18 AM  
Are you kidding me?!? My wife loves oral sex ... I ask her if she wants to have sex, and she say, "no."

/ rimshot.com
// try the veal, tip your waitress
 
Displayed 94 of 94 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report