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(Abc.net.au)   Don't tell my husband - "Oral sex new risk factor in oesophageal cancer"   (abc.net.au) divider line 94
    More: Sad, oesophageal cancer, liver cancer, acid reflux, Human sexual activity, University of NSW, hepatitis B, blood sera  
•       •       •

12288 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2013 at 1:06 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-07 09:56:31 PM  
This isn't the first time this year I've read a story like this one.

If I don't know anyone that has contracted cancer in this manner, I'm not going to even begin questioning eating at the Y.

/mmmm good
//real good
 
2013-05-07 10:52:20 PM  
I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).
 
2013-05-07 11:03:24 PM  
This is more of a "DONT SCREW AROUND WITH STRANGERS!" than a "Don't handle her business the way it needs to be handled" type thing.
 
2013-05-07 11:22:25 PM  
I've been telling my girlfriend that my semen is a CURE for cancer.  I'm immediately disputing this article...and it should NEVER go green.
 
2013-05-07 11:52:26 PM  
In related news, research indicates that buying a Total Fark subscription reduces your risk for all cancers, heart disease and obesity, and makes you more sexually attractive.


/Also doubles the odds that your submission will go green
 
2013-05-08 12:13:33 AM  
Oesophageal?

This is NOT Brittain, submitter. This is AMERICA. We don't add extraneous vowels. We don't talk like nancy boys here. We don't suck the Queen's member. We don't enjoy WARM tea (which should be a crime punishable by summary execution) and scones.
 
2013-05-08 12:36:38 AM  
DAMN YOU MODMINS FOR GREENLIGHTING THIS!

I turn my girlfriend on to Fark and this is my reward!  DAMN YOU!
 
2013-05-08 12:58:24 AM  
"......anything for love, but I won't do THAT (anymore)."
 
2013-05-08 01:08:23 AM  
I'm going down, cancer or not.
 
2013-05-08 01:09:11 AM  
Yeah!  Something else that kills us.
 
2013-05-08 01:11:29 AM  

hardinparamedic: Oesophageal?

This is NOT Brittain, submitter. This is AMERICA. We don't add extraneous vowels. We don't talk like nancy boys here. We don't suck the Queen's member. We don't enjoy WARM tea (which should be a crime punishable by summary execution) and scones.


Hey, I happen to LOVE hot tea and scones.

At least I'm not Canadian with all those unnecessary U's floating around.
 
2013-05-08 01:12:16 AM  

big_pth: This is more of a "DONT SCREW AROUND WITH STRANGERS!" than a "Don't handle her business the way it needs to be handled" type thing.


Nah. Don't eat pussy story. Women don't have orgasms in any case, and only pussies eat pussy, so this is basically a disease for gay people like AIDS.
 
2013-05-08 01:12:25 AM  

Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).


Dude. That sucks. You got that from cunnilingus?? You're sure??
 
2013-05-08 01:16:41 AM  
I assume phone sex is still safe.
 
2013-05-08 01:18:48 AM  

slayer199: DAMN YOU MODMINS FOR GREENLIGHTING THIS!

I turn my girlfriend on to Fark and this is my reward!  DAMN YOU!


If your dick is cut then it's no excuse for her not to go down.
 
2013-05-08 01:24:20 AM  
What, no sigh of relief because slut vaccine exists?
 
2013-05-08 01:27:17 AM  
Eventually they're going to link everything to HPV because something like 85% of the population has it.
 
2013-05-08 01:27:39 AM  
good thing the current farkbuddy doesn't read much.  More concerned with farking than anything else.  She's a monster in bed.  Anything and everything.  Why don't I marry her, you ask?  That's all we have.  The sex.  post-coitus, she tends to fall asleep.  She gives me blank stares when I ask about her work(retail), and more when I talk about classes(engineering).  I can see her brain glazing over when I start in on some of the more interesting subjects.  Conversation isn't the strong point; usually it is something along the lines of, "come fark me, now."  And I do.

/she'd be first with this form of cancer, should oral be the main factor
//she'd also decline to care about it, as she wants one thing only in life, the next big O
///they are real, by the way, which is probably why I'm still "with" her
 
2013-05-08 01:30:13 AM  
I have this sneaking suspicion that they're going to find out that the majority of cancers are caused by viruses or exposure to viruses.

Damn their scary alien living/not living existences anyway...
 
2013-05-08 01:32:29 AM  
Dammit, I knew something was wrong...
 
2013-05-08 01:32:41 AM  
So that means I'm only going to get hummers from stupid, ignorant, women? Because I'm not seeing how this will affect me.
 
2013-05-08 01:33:05 AM  
Well, "cancer" is just greek code for crabs anyway, so maybe if the ladies would shave that lolnomcat the problem would go away.
 
2013-05-08 01:33:41 AM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: What, no sigh of relief because slut vaccine exists?


Oh dear god. If a parent truly thinks that by giving their daughter a shot to prevent a virus that causes cancer they are giving their daughter PERMISSION to be a slut, they are a bad parent. I'm going, no, there's far scarier things they can get from being the neighborhood doorknob than HPV.
 
2013-05-08 01:36:26 AM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: big_pth: This is more of a "DONT SCREW AROUND WITH STRANGERS!" than a "Don't handle her business the way it needs to be handled" type thing.

Nah. Don't eat pussy story. Women don't have orgasms in any case, and only pussies eat pussy, so this is basically a disease for gay people like AIDS.


3/10

"only pussies eat pussy"gave you away
 
2013-05-08 01:39:26 AM  

Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).


Sorry to hear. I'm curious, how did you discover something was wrong and where at on the base of the tongue?what did it feel like at first?  Was there other sores or some other type of symptoms in your case? Loaded question.
 
2013-05-08 01:42:59 AM  
So, yeah, is the HPV transmitted only through fluids?
 
2013-05-08 01:43:43 AM  
www.abc.net.au
What oral sex may look like
 
2013-05-08 01:44:50 AM  
Dying from too much cunnilingus is still a more dignified way to go out than something like death by too much junk food. Also, a Google search of "death by cunnilingus" turned up this strange attempted murder by poisoned vagina gone wrong story: http://www.salon.com/2013/01/30/death_by_cunnilingus/
 
2013-05-08 01:46:12 AM  

Dee Snarl: Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).

Dude. That sucks. You got that from cunnilingus?? You're sure??


From HPV. This was just the transmission method. He could have just as easily had half his crotch removed instead.

Still, horrible thing to happen. Like the man says, vaccinate.
 
2013-05-08 01:50:32 AM  
All the good things in life will kill you.
 
2013-05-08 01:53:43 AM  

ladyfortuna: Damn their scary alien living/not living existences anyway...


My wife is a scientist and she got this picture on one of her scientist facebook groups yesterday...

3.bp.blogspot.com

I asked her if viruses really have legs like that and if they like walk around and stuff. She said viruses aren't actually alive.

Then I asked how can you kill something that's not alive? She made that creepy overly attached girlfriend face and said "you can't. Muwahhahahaha!"

/I'm just now recovering from the trauma
//Yeah, I'm stupid and sensitive and she's a genius super scientist so what?
 
2013-05-08 01:55:42 AM  
Also, you should heed the warnings when you're going down there...

Link

/Sorry
 
2013-05-08 01:56:57 AM  
If you actually read TFA, it plainly states that cause androids effect between eating puss and the cancer has not been established and that there is in fact a stronger link between acid reflux and esophegal cancer than oral sex. Either way I eat it hard, and will continue to do so, because death by sex is not a bad way to go at all.
 
2013-05-08 01:58:54 AM  
Between this and the antibiotic resistant gonorrhea story from yesterday we are all doomed.
 
2013-05-08 02:00:27 AM  

slayer199: I've been telling my girlfriend that my semen is a CURE for cancer.  I'm immediately disputing this article...and it should NEVER go green.


Proving you didn't read it.
 
2013-05-08 02:00:34 AM  
Goid thing we don't got no oesophagi here in 'Merika.
 
2013-05-08 02:01:01 AM  
since that already runs in the family, I smoke and drink, suffer from chronic heartburn, and that's my favorite hobby already...

meh


t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-08 02:02:04 AM  

illannoyin: Also, you should heed the warnings when you're going down there...

Link

/Sorry


GAH! I can almost smell the pungent stench now.
 
2013-05-08 02:09:44 AM  
I'm as good as dead.
 
2013-05-08 02:16:12 AM  

Amos Quito: /Also doubles the odds that your submission will go green



Soaking Drew's cork at $5 a month will make you a "winner" with minimal risk of cancer.

"The only winning move is not to play"

Oh noes...it went greeeeen!!1!  Now real people will be free to comment.

OHMYGERD!
 
2013-05-08 02:21:24 AM  
Rustico - I'm trying to get my TotalFark subscription renewed so I can see your email address and reach out to you but it's locking up. I'd REALLY like to email with you about this instead of just crying alone. Going through this now but at earlier step (biopsy this week) and have nobody who can give me advice, pointers, direction, etc. Can't post my email on here because it's too descriptive so don't disappear, please!
 
2013-05-08 02:29:09 AM  
Going to have to work this into my bar pity-screw pickup lines.

"Yeah, the doctor gave me six months to live, but if my treatment goes well I could have as much as a year. You know, because of the cancer...(sly grin)...esophageal cancer."

Allllright! Giggity giggity giggity!
 
2013-05-08 02:30:21 AM  
"Oral sex new risk factor in oesophageal cancer"

Oct 15, 2008 - Good Morning America explores the link between oral sex and throat cancer
May 11, 2007 - Oral Sex Can Add to HPV Cancer Risk

etc
 
2013-05-08 02:39:44 AM  

Rustico: I contracted Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Head and Neck this way. Stage IV. It starts in either the tonsils or the base of the tongue. (Base of tongue for me). It spreads to the lymph nodes very quickly, and it is a very aggressive cancer. It responds to chemo and radiation. I did 6 weeks of each. Then a few months later I had a neck dissection. Fortunately, that was only on one side (all the lymph nodes, salivary glands and the exterior jugular removed).

Get your daughters and sons vaccinated according to the schedule for HPV vaccination (12 or 13, years old, I think).


You should do one of those commercials where the lady with the artificial larynx chastises you not to smoke, only you'll say not to eat pussy.
 
2013-05-08 02:41:31 AM  
Adolescents who had oral sex compared to vaginal sex were also experiencing less health, social and emotional consequences. (They also reported experiencing fewer positive benefits... such as pleasure).

They're doing it wrong, then.  But they're adolescents; they have time to learn.

As for acid reflux, just learn to suppress your gag reflex.
 
2013-05-08 02:48:10 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: "Oral sex new risk factor in oesophageal cancer"

Oct 15, 2008 - Good Morning America explores the link between oral sex and throat cancer
May 11, 2007 - Oral Sex Can Add to HPV Cancer Risk

etc


Yeah, this is pretty old (and sad) news.
 
2013-05-08 02:53:34 AM  
Let me think here for a moment. Having normal sex can cause cervical cancer. Having anal sex can cause colon cancer. Whacking off might cause penile cancer. Playing with the boobs just might cause breast cancer. Eye makeup can cause optical cancer. Now, BJ's might cause oral cancer.

Tell me, what DOESN'T f##king cause cancer? I'd really like to know.

Teflon was supposed to be neutral, great for all sorts of things -- now cooking in Teflon pans can cause cancer. To make things even more fun, wear away the Teflon and you cook over aluminum alloy, which is now linked with Alzheimer's.

The list of cancer causing substances and actions has jumped from a few dozen in the 50's, to several hundred thousand in the 2000's.

Then again, anyone happen to notice that as the global population increases, so does the amount of things which cause cancer. Is nature trying to tell us something?
 
2013-05-08 02:58:27 AM  

Rik01: Let me think here for a moment. Having normal sex can cause cervical cancer. Having anal sex can cause colon cancer. Whacking off might cause penile cancer. Playing with the boobs just might cause breast cancer. Eye makeup can cause optical cancer. Now, BJ's might cause oral cancer.

Tell me, what DOESN'T f##king cause cancer? I'd really like to know.

Teflon was supposed to be neutral, great for all sorts of things -- now cooking in Teflon pans can cause cancer. To make things even more fun, wear away the Teflon and you cook over aluminum alloy, which is now linked with Alzheimer's.

The list of cancer causing substances and actions has jumped from a few dozen in the 50's, to several hundred thousand in the 2000's.

Then again, anyone happen to notice that as the global population increases, so does the amount of things which cause cancer. Is nature trying to tell us something?


Cancer is pretty clever.
 
2013-05-08 03:00:46 AM  

illannoyin: I asked her if viruses really have legs like that and if they like walk around and stuff. She said viruses aren't actually alive.


Bacteriophages typically have legs like that.  Viruses that infect plants and animals don't.
 
2013-05-08 03:03:55 AM  
HPVStrictly speaking, this appears to be not "oral sex leads to cancer" but "HPV leads to cancer", which is something we already know well. But HPV does seem a bit like smoking - it's not linked to one cancer, but many. Yeah, vaccinate your kids.
 
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