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(The Raw Story)   Very wise 105-year-old woman says the key to a long life is bacon   (rawstory.com) divider line 40
    More: Spiffy, bacon  
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4645 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2013 at 7:38 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-07 03:57:07 PM
Baking, she said baking. Spliff, buddha, cheeba, grass, mary jane...
 
2013-05-07 07:27:36 PM
Life without bacon makes you want to blow yourself up.
 
2013-05-07 07:39:36 PM
My penis is longer
 
2013-05-07 07:46:48 PM
Bacon key to long life, god, I hope so!
 
2013-05-07 07:47:16 PM
This guy lived to 112 on waffles and sausages http://www.nbcnews.com/id/13119227/#.UYmSKdh7olg
 
2013-05-07 07:50:28 PM
I always thought it was "more bacon".
 
2013-05-07 07:51:02 PM
The key to a long life is to realize that age of death is a couple normal distribution functions stacked on top of each other, live in a country with 400 million people that minimizes the acute disease-based function (which skews younger or is near-constant), and hope you get to be one of the lucky thousand or so that top 100 in a given year.

Understanding that it's (a) a statistical function, not a deterministic one and (b) the function is multi-variable might help you be one of said lucky ones without being a worthless waste of pseudoscientific human interest story idiocy, though.
 
2013-05-07 07:53:17 PM

Jim_Callahan: The key to a long life is to realize that age of death is a couple normal distribution functions stacked on top of each other, live in a country with 400 million people that minimizes the acute disease-based function (which skews younger or is near-constant), and hope you get to be one of the lucky thousand or so that top 100 in a given year.

Understanding that it's (a) a statistical function, not a deterministic one and (b) the function is multi-variable might help you be one of said lucky ones without being a worthless waste of pseudoscientific human interest story idiocy, though.


Sounds like you need more bacon.
 
2013-05-07 07:55:52 PM

Jim_Callahan: The key to a long life is to realize that age of death is a couple normal distribution functions stacked on top of each other, live in a country with 400 million people that minimizes the acute disease-based function (which skews younger or is near-constant), and hope you get to be one of the lucky thousand or so that top 100 in a given year.

Understanding that it's (a) a statistical function, not a deterministic one and (b) the function is multi-variable might help you be one of said lucky ones without being a worthless waste of pseudoscientific human interest story idiocy, though.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-07 07:58:45 PM
Bacon is really a seasoning for greens more than anything else. I like ketchup, but I don't really eat it straight
 
2013-05-07 07:58:58 PM
Old lady trifecta in play?
 
2013-05-07 08:00:44 PM
I suppose with the right genes you could eat lots of bacon everyday of a long life.

Or smoke several packs a day.
 
2013-05-07 08:04:19 PM

amquelbettamin: Bacon is really a seasoning for greens more than anything else. I like ketchup, but I don't really eat it straight


I always end up eating the salt pork, bacon, or smoked ham hocks cooked in greens while not eating the greens themselves.
/only 5'9" 150lb and need all the fat and protein I could get
 
2013-05-07 08:06:43 PM

whither_apophis: Baking, she said baking. Spliff, buddha, cheeba, grass, mary jane...


Can't we have both?
 
2013-05-07 08:18:00 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: amquelbettamin: Bacon is really a seasoning for greens more than anything else. I like ketchup, but I don't really eat it straight

I always end up eating the salt pork, bacon, or smoked ham hocks cooked in greens while not eating the greens themselves.
/only 5'9" 150lb and need all the fat and protein I could get


I prefer to fry the bacon crisp, remove the bacon, fry the collards from the garden in the fat, then add the bacon back in as a crisp topping
 
2013-05-07 08:24:14 PM
Obvious tag too busy eating bacon?
 
2013-05-07 08:33:49 PM
anyone remember "Grumpy Old Men" Jack lemons father ate bacon for breakfast bacon for lunch and bacon for dinner and is still alive at 90 something. Makes me me think there just might be something to believe in. especially since I eat bacon every day.

--what? Im a breakfast cook
 
2013-05-07 08:47:27 PM
thedoghousediaries.com
 
2013-05-07 08:52:05 PM
Muscles Glasses' great grandmother?
 
2013-05-07 08:58:00 PM
My granddad was interviewed by the local news on his hundredth birthday, and said the key is "lots of buttermilk and good whiskey"

/he flew with Amelia Earhart
//and argued in front of the Supreme Court
///AND killed a lion with a bow
////how can I live up to that?
 
2013-05-07 09:47:01 PM
That or luck.
 
2013-05-07 09:51:02 PM
I had bacon with my green onion/tomato/colby-monterey jack cheese omelet I had for dinner so I'm getting a kick out of this story.........
 
2013-05-07 09:57:12 PM
I googled this story & a fark thread was the top link. 

"I know that there are no general rules of health because there was a gentleman living in New York a few years ago who was one hundred and fifteen. He was the oldest man living in New York, and he was doing quite well. He lived on his own, got around with no trouble, and could deal with everything that came his way. People asked him, of course, 'What's your diet? What're you eating?' He said that from the ages of ninety to one hundred and fifteen, his diet consisted mostly of three gallons of Thunderbird wine a week, and bread fried in fatback. When they asked him why he didn't fry his bread in bacon, he said that bacon was TOO LEAN. Here's a man who knew exactly what his body needed, and he lived a rich, full life on what one would think is farking rocket fuel. And if he'd gone to a doctor, the doctor would've been, 'What the fark is the matter with you?! You're out of control, Goddammit! You know what? You're gonna have to start eating vegetables.' And he would've, and he'd have been dead in a week!"

- Lewis Black
 
2013-05-07 10:02:10 PM
www.thecouponhubby.com
 
2013-05-07 10:51:24 PM

parahaps: Obvious tag too busy eating bacon?


It's bacon! duh
 
2013-05-07 10:53:25 PM
Needs more bacon
 
2013-05-07 11:12:57 PM
I like my BLT with no LT.
 
2013-05-07 11:19:26 PM
I'm going to live forever.

/Dammit
 
2013-05-07 11:31:41 PM
Well let me tell you something now, Johnny. Last Thursday, I turned 95 years old. And I never exercised a day in my life. Every morning, I wake up, and I smoke a cigarette. And then I eat five strips of bacon. And for lunch, I eat a bacon sandwich. And for a midday snack?
 Bacon! A whole damn plate! And I usually drink my dinner. Now according to all of them flat-belly experts, I should've took a dirt nap like thirty years ago
www.neonreel.com
 
2013-05-07 11:42:32 PM
I hope I live to be 110 so I can make up some crazy bullshiat to tell "reporters."

"The secret to a long life? Heroin. I shoot it directly into my eyeballs. And midget porn. Jack off to some midget porn once a day. And beat your wife. That's how I lived to be 110. Midget porn, wife-beating, and heroin."
 
2013-05-07 11:42:39 PM
Ma'am, you lived to 105 because you won the genetic lotto. Living past 100 is more than anything else having most of a set of 20-odd genes that go miles towards preventing or abating most of the worst symptoms of aging. When they sequence the genomes of centenarians and supercentenarians, most members of this set of genes show up every time.

So either it'll happen or it won't. You can't make any huge changes in the plus direction, so don't worry that much about it.

Just get up and make a concerted effort to move around for half an hour to an hour every day, don't stuff the super-size down your gullet like you were about to starve, and try to work some stuff into your diet that isn't junk food. The "concerted effort to move" will add about as many years to your life as it consumes, and makes all the years in between much more pleasant.

/Also, spend time with your friends, drink a bit (but not a bunch), and don't stress
//Seriously, stress farking kills
 
2013-05-08 12:35:37 AM
Scientists find the key to long life is genetics, happiness and moderation...
 
2013-05-08 12:40:30 AM

CruJones: /he flew with Amelia Earhart
//and argued in front of the Supreme Court
///AND killed a lion with a bow
////how can I live up to that?


Did he just use the bow or was there an arrow or three involved. And did the lion take it in the knee?
 
2013-05-08 12:42:31 AM
The oldest woman who ever lived took up smoking when she was 21 and kept it up until she was 117, so go pick up some unfiltered Camels and see how that works out. She also met Vincent Van Gogh when she was 13, so if you just meet Vincent Van Gogh when you're a 13 year old French girl you're guaranteed to live to be older than dirt.
 
2013-05-08 01:09:16 AM

fat boy: Life without bacon makes you want to blow yourself up.


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-08 01:33:24 AM
She deserves the 'HERO' tag!
 
2013-05-08 02:35:48 AM

drjekel_mrhyde: This guy lived to 112 on waffles and sausages http://www.nbcnews.com/id/13119227/#.UYmSKdh7olg


From that link:

"A lot of people think or imagine that your good habits and bad habits contribute to your longevity," Coles said. "But we often find it is in the genes rather than lifestyle."

Also this this this:

erik-k: Ma'am, you lived to 105 because you won the genetic lotto. Living past 100 is more than anything else having most of a set of 20-odd genes that go miles towards preventing or abating most of the worst symptoms of aging. When they sequence the genomes of centenarians and supercentenarians, most members of this set of genes show up every time.

So either it'll happen or it won't. You can't make any huge changes in the plus direction, so don't worry that much about it.

Just get up and make a concerted effort to move around for half an hour to an hour every day, don't stuff the super-size down your gullet like you were about to starve, and try to work some stuff into your diet that isn't junk food. The "concerted effort to move" will add about as many years to your life as it consumes, and makes all the years in between much more pleasant.

/Also, spend time with your friends, drink a bit (but not a bunch), and don't stress
//Seriously, stress farking kills


You are going to die no matter what, don't be so arrogant as to think you can have all that much influence on when it will happen. Relax, enjoy yourself, eat some bacon.
 
2013-05-08 03:35:14 AM
The common theme in the answer that the very-olds give regarding longevity seems to be 'simplicity and consistency of habits'.  The same simple diet and activity everyday.
 
2013-05-08 08:57:59 AM
i1168.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-08 10:52:54 PM

ristst: [i1168.photobucket.com image 337x292]


The man ate bacon at every meal... you just can't do that! ...
 
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