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(Daily Mail)   Scientists say that if you carry a guitar on your back and pretend that you play one, your chance of getting laid increases by a third   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 21
    More: Interesting, behavioural sciences, Somalian, French Studies  
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9667 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2013 at 1:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-07 12:30:17 PM  
6 votes:
The most important element of this strategy -- and, truly, this cannot be emphasized enough -- is that once you've gone out and obtained the guitar that you're going to pretend to know how to play, you must develop some effortlessly authentic excuses as to why you cannot simply play on demand. This is more difficult than you might think. One strategy is to cut several of the strings...not all the way, mind you, but just enough that pressure upon them (the sort one might exert with a few "warm up" strums" will cause them to snap. "Damn, I left my replacement string at home." Practice saying that with a slow head shake, a disappointed lip curl. Be disgusted with yourself, and let her try to make you feel better.
2013-05-07 02:08:57 PM  
2 votes:
The meta-rule is "Do stuff that gives you status" (or at least be perceived to do said stuff). Anything that will get a group of people paying attention to you as you either do it, or tell them about doing it.

It can be playing guitar, rock climbing, motorcycle racing, just getting back from overseas, winning big in Vegas, opening a brew pub, getting your black belt, whatever.

A big step in that direction is not being in your room playing Xbox. Another key feature is to achieve things as an individual - don't get buried in the group.
2013-05-07 01:55:28 PM  
2 votes:
Headline: Scientists find that carrying a guitar increases your chance of getting a date by a third

Article: double the amount of people who would give their number to the same man when he was empty-handed.

Numbers: When the actor was carrying the guitar case, 31% of the women gave them his number. When he was carrying nothing, 14% of the women gave them his number. (120% increase in positive response rate)
2013-05-07 05:28:49 PM  
1 votes:

Why Would I Read the Article: In high school and college, I learned A LOT of shiatty Dave Matthews songs (redundant, I know), and yes, playing things that girls like, even when you're only a C-minus singer like I am, is a great way to get a conversation with girls.

The rest is up to you, so if your looks and personality are to up to par, you can still chase her away, but having a talent like guitar or piano is an excellent way to get your foot in the door, and your penis in the backdoor,if ua catch my drift.


Learn a few party songs and you're golden.

I was in college in the mid-90's, so I had some Hootie and the Blowfish, a little Jimmy Buffett, the aforementioned "Every Rose has its Thorn" (GOLD with drunk redneck girls), and similar in my playbook. Oh, and Zeppelin's "Hey, Hey, What Can I Do?". Basically, if a music snob hates it, it's probably worth learning... because the types of tuned music snobs hate are the same type that are fun to sing after a couple beers. And that's the real trick- get other people to have fun.

Oh, and a little Dylan never hurts. Hippie chicks and poetry majors dig "Tangled Up in Blue".
2013-05-07 05:05:11 PM  
1 votes:

SnakeLee: But this technique only works if your a man, women are not seen any more or less attractive if they carry a musical instrument.

This study is clearly flawed.


Horribly flawed. A woman with a Cello is insanely hot. Women bass players are hot. Women drummers are hot (though maybe not if they carry their drumkit on their back I suppose)
2013-05-07 02:49:24 PM  
1 votes:

XMark: Man, I can actually play guitar really good. It hasn't helped me one bit!


See, that's the problem:  You can go overboard.  Stuff to avoid playing:
Any Yngwie Malmsteen tune.
2013-05-07 02:44:15 PM  
1 votes:
Man, I can actually play guitar really good. It hasn't helped me one bit!
2013-05-07 02:38:19 PM  
1 votes:

Lexx: Of more interest is the gym bag reducing your chances.  Apparently women don't like jocks?


They do like jocks, but only if they have status. Any fool can (and many do) walk around with gym bags without doing anything special. But being a jock in high school had status. It doesn't work that way out of high school where you could be participating in any sporting activity and people in the in-group of the women probably don't particularly care if you can do 100 push-ups.
2013-05-07 02:34:46 PM  
1 votes:

nickerj1: AlwaysRightBoy: I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.

I had significant success with my dog.  You can immediately start talking to any girl in any situation if you have a dog with you.  It is socially acceptable.


Works with a kid in a stroller, too.  Pro Tip?  Borrow one.
2013-05-07 02:29:28 PM  
1 votes:

AlwaysRightBoy: I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.


I had significant success with my dog.  You can immediately start talking to any girl in any situation if you have a dog with you.  It is socially acceptable.
2013-05-07 02:18:03 PM  
1 votes:

Nickninja: This kindof stuff is what pisses me off the most.  While I spent my formative years learning useful skills and advancing my career potential, I was all alone while douchebags who learned to play guitar got laid.  Yes, now that I'm a successful adult I've had plenty of girlfriends, but I will never get back the high school/college years when I could have had wild sex with barely legal girls.


You don't actually need to learn how to play.  As TFA points out, merely holding the guitar was enough to triple the numbers of girls who would give the guy a phone number.

And most of the guys who I would see "play" the guitar on the quad, surrounded by groups of adoring women, just strummed the guitar real slowly while singing in-between strokes.  There's no learning there, anyone can do that.  The hard part is having a semi-decent singing voice and being able to sing the idiotic lyrics that makes women think you are "deep" and "in touch with your emotions".

SnakeLee: If you play in a park, on the beach, etc., most of the time people will come up and randomly try to give you a dollar which is super shiatty and annoying.


Oh no, people are trying to give me money!  Man up, put a hat out in front of you, and practice to your heart's content.  So what if you come home with $20 more than you had when you started.
2013-05-07 01:48:58 PM  
1 votes:
A wedding ring probably yields better results.
2013-05-07 01:48:01 PM  
1 votes:
Carried around a gee-tar, got tons of poo-say. And the beotches were even willing to kill for him.
25.media.tumblr.com
Gun nuts. You got it all wrong. Ditch the AR-15s and pick up a Gibson.
2013-05-07 01:41:40 PM  
1 votes:
FTFA: But this technique only works if your a man

If my a man what?
2013-05-07 01:40:33 PM  
1 votes:
www.explosm.net
2013-05-07 01:38:27 PM  
1 votes:
carry an electric guitar without strings and use a kazoo to make guitar noises.
2013-05-07 01:04:22 PM  
1 votes:
Unfortunately, I play bass, which has been proven to not get you laid. :)
2013-05-07 12:47:24 PM  
1 votes:
stop typing so fast Pocket Ninja.  i KNOW you're typing at like 120 wpm maybe cause you got so much work to do and can't be bothered with a site like FARK.  but BELIEVE YOU ME. it SHOWS
2013-05-07 12:47:14 PM  
1 votes:
Woot, my chances are now 1.33%

/Of course I did the math.
//Sadly that feeds back into the calculation
2013-05-07 12:43:16 PM  
1 votes:
In related news, scientists say that if you carry around an accordion, your chances of being stuffed in a locker increase by 50%.
2013-05-07 12:38:13 PM  
1 votes:

Pocket Ninja: The most important element of this strategy -- and, truly, this cannot be emphasized enough -- is that once you've gone out and obtained the guitar that you're going to pretend to know how to play, you must develop some effortlessly authentic excuses as to why you cannot simply play on demand. This is more difficult than you might think. One strategy is to cut several of the strings...not all the way, mind you, but just enough that pressure upon them (the sort one might exert with a few "warm up" strums" will cause them to snap. "Damn, I left my replacement string at home." Practice saying that with a slow head shake, a disappointed lip curl. Be disgusted with yourself, and let her try to make you feel better.


Don't forget to say "Crambone" when it happens.
 
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