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(Daily Mail)   Scientists say that if you carry a guitar on your back and pretend that you play one, your chance of getting laid increases by a third   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 175
    More: Interesting, behavioural sciences, Somalian, French Studies  
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9706 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2013 at 1:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



175 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-05-07 12:30:17 PM  
The most important element of this strategy -- and, truly, this cannot be emphasized enough -- is that once you've gone out and obtained the guitar that you're going to pretend to know how to play, you must develop some effortlessly authentic excuses as to why you cannot simply play on demand. This is more difficult than you might think. One strategy is to cut several of the strings...not all the way, mind you, but just enough that pressure upon them (the sort one might exert with a few "warm up" strums" will cause them to snap. "Damn, I left my replacement string at home." Practice saying that with a slow head shake, a disappointed lip curl. Be disgusted with yourself, and let her try to make you feel better.
 
2013-05-07 12:36:51 PM  
This glockenspiel on the other hand has done NOTHING for me.
 
2013-05-07 12:38:13 PM  

Pocket Ninja: The most important element of this strategy -- and, truly, this cannot be emphasized enough -- is that once you've gone out and obtained the guitar that you're going to pretend to know how to play, you must develop some effortlessly authentic excuses as to why you cannot simply play on demand. This is more difficult than you might think. One strategy is to cut several of the strings...not all the way, mind you, but just enough that pressure upon them (the sort one might exert with a few "warm up" strums" will cause them to snap. "Damn, I left my replacement string at home." Practice saying that with a slow head shake, a disappointed lip curl. Be disgusted with yourself, and let her try to make you feel better.


Don't forget to say "Crambone" when it happens.
 
2013-05-07 12:42:39 PM  
I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.
 
2013-05-07 12:43:06 PM  
For extra booty points, sling it upside down.
 
2013-05-07 12:43:16 PM  
In related news, scientists say that if you carry around an accordion, your chances of being stuffed in a locker increase by 50%.
 
2013-05-07 12:46:30 PM  
i1151.photobucket.com
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
Take a look at my wang - can't you tell it needs shlumping?
Still my guitar gently weeps.
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
 
2013-05-07 12:46:35 PM  
If you carry a bass guitar, chances of getting your dick sucked increase exponentially.
 
2013-05-07 12:47:14 PM  
Woot, my chances are now 1.33%

/Of course I did the math.
//Sadly that feeds back into the calculation
 
2013-05-07 12:47:24 PM  
stop typing so fast Pocket Ninja.  i KNOW you're typing at like 120 wpm maybe cause you got so much work to do and can't be bothered with a site like FARK.  but BELIEVE YOU ME. it SHOWS
 
2013-05-07 01:04:22 PM  
Unfortunately, I play bass, which has been proven to not get you laid. :)
 
2013-05-07 01:05:25 PM  
ethicsalarms.files.wordpress.com


Ooops.
 
2013-05-07 01:08:50 PM  
playing guitar is easy, all you do is strum it like a retard
 
2013-05-07 01:12:44 PM  
Better yet, carry it on your back in a soft case while you ride a motorcycle.

The *ONLY* reason I learned how to play is to get laid.
 
2013-05-07 01:37:13 PM  
If you can play and sing Croce's Lover's Cross you get free beeg's too.
 
2013-05-07 01:38:27 PM  
carry an electric guitar without strings and use a kazoo to make guitar noises.
 
2013-05-07 01:39:40 PM  
Was the obvious tag home in the basement writing some brooding love song in which the girl's name can be multiple syllables?
 
2013-05-07 01:40:01 PM  
How about a soprano ukulele across your back? Does that improve or decrease your chances of getting laid?
I have a theory based on anecdotal evidence. It's not looking good.
 
2013-05-07 01:40:08 PM  
Fano:

Don't forget to say "Crambone" when it happens.


I heart you.
 
2013-05-07 01:40:33 PM  
www.explosm.net
 
2013-05-07 01:40:37 PM  
pizzabytheslice.com
didn't firkin work. What next?
 
2013-05-07 01:41:13 PM  
I got to buy one then.  I must test these findings.

Repeatedly.  Until Christina Hendricks is mine.
 
2013-05-07 01:41:40 PM  
FTFA: But this technique only works if your a man

If my a man what?
 
2013-05-07 01:41:57 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: In related news, scientists say that if you carry around an accordion, your chances of being stuffed in a locker increase by 50%.


What's the definition of a gentleman?

A guy that can play the accordion, but doesn't.
 
2013-05-07 01:42:41 PM  

Sybarite: This glockenspiel on the other hand has done NOTHING for me.


Yep.  I wish I'd never taken tympani lessons, either.
 
2013-05-07 01:44:17 PM  

Some Bass Playing Guy: Unfortunately, I play bass, which has been proven to not get you laid. :)


I'm pretty sure even the sound guy gets laid more than the bass player.

Obligatory band joke: How do you spot a level headed bass player?  He's drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

/bass player
 
2013-05-07 01:45:26 PM  

Uzzah: FTFA: But this technique only works if your a man

If my a man what?


i don't know.  point is don't play guitar.  play accoridan
 
2013-05-07 01:46:05 PM  

FrancoFile: Sybarite: This glockenspiel on the other hand has done NOTHING for me.

Yep.  I wish I'd never taken tympani lessons, either.


Zither drives women crazy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8jN1treRKQ

Give it about 15 seconds then just lay back and groove for 3 more minutes...
 
2013-05-07 01:46:17 PM  
s13.postimg.org
 
2013-05-07 01:46:43 PM  
This kindof stuff is what pisses me off the most.  While I spent my formative years learning useful skills and advancing my career potential, I was all alone while douchebags who learned to play guitar got laid.  Yes, now that I'm a successful adult I've had plenty of girlfriends, but I will never get back the high school/college years when I could have had wild sex with barely legal girls.
 
gja
2013-05-07 01:46:57 PM  
I prefer to show gals my big organ........
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

Impressive, huh?
 
2013-05-07 01:48:01 PM  
Carried around a gee-tar, got tons of poo-say. And the beotches were even willing to kill for him.
25.media.tumblr.com
Gun nuts. You got it all wrong. Ditch the AR-15s and pick up a Gibson.
 
2013-05-07 01:48:06 PM  

Uzzah: FTFA: But this technique only works if your a man

If my a man what?


LOL
 
2013-05-07 01:48:39 PM  
Bullsh*t

BULLSH*T

BULLSH*T

I've been musical my whole life, and let me tell you, this whole trope of guitarists getting girls is complete and utter horsesh*t. Do you know what gets girls? I'll tell you:

Good looks
or
Money/power

That's it. I'm at the top end of the ugly scale (the way I figure it, may vary depending on the scale being used), and let me tell you, playing guitar don't do sh*t for you if you're not a John Mayer or a Slash type. I was actually in a band that started to gain a tiny bit of traction until our drummer went away to school, and it doesn't matter. At random times I was the "confident guy" playing and singing while everyone sang along or hung on my every note at a party. Doesn't matter. I'm not even fat, I'm just not good looking. Now, if I had been one of the lucky ones and was some rich famous asshole, oh man I'd be chased by supermodels and everyone would say "sigh, every girl loves a guitar player".

Do you think Jay-Z would be with any girl even approaching Beyonce if he wasn't so rich/powerful? Not a chance.

Like the SNL skit says
"Step 1, Be Attractive. Step 2, Don't Be Unattractive"

I eventually Ralph Kramden'd my way to marrying a hottie, so it worked out fine for me and I have a happy life, but I'm just saying this whole guitar thing is bullsh*t and needs to stop.
 
2013-05-07 01:48:58 PM  
A wedding ring probably yields better results.
 
2013-05-07 01:49:41 PM  
weknowmemes.com
 
2013-05-07 01:50:11 PM  

Pocket Ninja: The most important element of this strategy -- and, truly, this cannot be emphasized enough -- is that once you've gone out and obtained the guitar that you're going to pretend to know how to play, you must develop some effortlessly authentic excuses as to why you cannot simply play on demand. This is more difficult than you might think. One strategy is to cut several of the strings...not all the way, mind you, but just enough that pressure upon them (the sort one might exert with a few "warm up" strums" will cause them to snap. "Damn, I left my replacement string at home." Practice saying that with a slow head shake, a disappointed lip curl. Be disgusted with yourself, and let her try to make you feel better.


Saying "I'm in a punk band" also works.
 
2013-05-07 01:53:35 PM  
i39.tinypic.com

Wrote a song about it.  Wanna hear it?
 
2013-05-07 01:53:36 PM  
This might be the dumbest thing I have ever heard...so it probably works.
 
2013-05-07 01:54:06 PM  
As an accordionist I have gotten more women than as a guitarist. Chicks dig the accordion.
 
2013-05-07 01:54:41 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-07 01:55:28 PM  
See, my problem is that I actually tried to play the guitar, often while sitting in my dorm lounge.  Yeah, I was that guy.  Sadly, it never got me laid.

/csb
 
2013-05-07 01:55:28 PM  
Headline: Scientists find that carrying a guitar increases your chance of getting a date by a third

Article: double the amount of people who would give their number to the same man when he was empty-handed.

Numbers: When the actor was carrying the guitar case, 31% of the women gave them his number. When he was carrying nothing, 14% of the women gave them his number. (120% increase in positive response rate)
 
2013-05-07 01:57:28 PM  
The gym bag was the worst because they knew he needed to be to the gym in 27 minutes.
 
2013-05-07 01:57:59 PM  
One-third of 0 is still 0.
 
2013-05-07 01:59:10 PM  

Accordion: As an accordionist I have gotten more women than as a guitarist. Chicks dig the accordion.


legalballerina.files.wordpress.com

"You know playing 'Bella Note' really gets my diaper wet!"
 
2013-05-07 02:00:23 PM  

Pair-o-Dice: The gym bag was the worst because they knew he needed to be to the gym in 27 minutes.


Yes-I saw this on Twitter yesterday and that was my reaction. Using their scientifically rigorous logic, carrying a gym bag hurts you vis a vis carrying nothing. Perhaps there are heads in the bag?
 
2013-05-07 02:01:33 PM  
But this technique only works if your a man, women are not seen any more or less attractive if they carry a musical instrument.

This study is clearly flawed.

Anyways, I always feel like a douche playing even on my front steps.  I bring it on vacations and stuff because I love playing and become incredibly guilty if I don't practice, but it sucks to play out in public because it draws so much attention.  If you play in a park, on the beach, etc., most of the time people will come up and randomly try to give you a dollar which is super shiatty and annoying.
 
2013-05-07 02:02:52 PM  
Of more interest is the gym bag reducing your chances.  Apparently women don't like jocks?
 
2013-05-07 02:06:57 PM  

SnakeLee: But this technique only works if your a man, women are not seen any more or less attractive if they carry a musical instrument.

This study is clearly flawed.

Anyways, I always feel like a douche playing even on my front steps.  I bring it on vacations and stuff because I love playing and become incredibly guilty if I don't practice, but it sucks to play out in public because it draws so much attention.  If you play in a park, on the beach, etc., most of the time people will come up and randomly try to give you a dollar which is super shiatty and annoying.


I always take a guitar with me on vacation thinking I can get some good practice/leisure time in, but somehow never actually play it.

/Hello, ladies
 
2013-05-07 02:07:05 PM  

Lexx: Of more interest is the gym bag reducing your chances.  Apparently women don't like jocks?


Maybe they're worried that the guy has rope and duct tape in the bag.
 
2013-05-07 02:08:29 PM  
Yeah...that's it!  The Guitar Man!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrsKJ0KUyJw
 
2013-05-07 02:08:57 PM  
The meta-rule is "Do stuff that gives you status" (or at least be perceived to do said stuff). Anything that will get a group of people paying attention to you as you either do it, or tell them about doing it.

It can be playing guitar, rock climbing, motorcycle racing, just getting back from overseas, winning big in Vegas, opening a brew pub, getting your black belt, whatever.

A big step in that direction is not being in your room playing Xbox. Another key feature is to achieve things as an individual - don't get buried in the group.
 
2013-05-07 02:10:29 PM  
I've been told I'm pretty good at Guitar Hero.  That counts, right?
 
2013-05-07 02:10:32 PM  

SnakeLee: But this technique only works if your a man, women are not seen any more or less attractive if they carry a musical instrument.

This study is clearly flawed.


This article is clearly flawed.  Do they not have editors at the Daily Mail?  Have they ever heard of the basic principles of English grammar and punctuation?
 
2013-05-07 02:10:45 PM  
What, no "obvious" tag?
 
2013-05-07 02:11:46 PM  

gja: I prefer to show gals my big organ........
[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 257x196]

Impressive, huh?


But can you carry it on your back?
 
2013-05-07 02:15:41 PM  

cbathrob: See, my problem is that I actually tried to play the guitar, often while sitting in my dorm lounge.  Yeah, I was that guy.  Sadly, it never got me laid.

/csb


Yes, the that guy that does that is one of the worst that guys. Learn to play at home and then if you get good find a gig where people can have the choice to hear you.
 
2013-05-07 02:15:52 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: gja: I prefer to show gals my big organ........
[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 257x196]

Impressive, huh?

But can you carry it on your back?


A girl's got to have standards?
 
2013-05-07 02:17:44 PM  

cbathrob: See, my problem is that I actually tried to play the guitar, often while sitting in my dorm lounge.  Yeah, I was that guy.  Sadly, it never got me laid.


If you realize that you're not impressing the ladies, just tell them "Usually I'm pretty good but the reason I suck today is because last time I went to the music store I accidentally bought left-handed strings."
 
2013-05-07 02:18:03 PM  

Nickninja: This kindof stuff is what pisses me off the most.  While I spent my formative years learning useful skills and advancing my career potential, I was all alone while douchebags who learned to play guitar got laid.  Yes, now that I'm a successful adult I've had plenty of girlfriends, but I will never get back the high school/college years when I could have had wild sex with barely legal girls.


You don't actually need to learn how to play.  As TFA points out, merely holding the guitar was enough to triple the numbers of girls who would give the guy a phone number.

And most of the guys who I would see "play" the guitar on the quad, surrounded by groups of adoring women, just strummed the guitar real slowly while singing in-between strokes.  There's no learning there, anyone can do that.  The hard part is having a semi-decent singing voice and being able to sing the idiotic lyrics that makes women think you are "deep" and "in touch with your emotions".

SnakeLee: If you play in a park, on the beach, etc., most of the time people will come up and randomly try to give you a dollar which is super shiatty and annoying.


Oh no, people are trying to give me money!  Man up, put a hat out in front of you, and practice to your heart's content.  So what if you come home with $20 more than you had when you started.
 
2013-05-07 02:18:27 PM  

schnee: [www.explosm.net image 537x357]


One of my favorite C&Hs.  Subtle use of color FTW.

spentmiles: [i39.tinypic.com image 533x553]


No, no.  The correct response is a photo of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
 
gja
2013-05-07 02:19:40 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: gja: I prefer to show gals my big organ........
[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 257x196]

Impressive, huh?

But can you carry it on your back?


Hell no, I need a fork-lift to carry it for me. Scares the hell outta most chix.
 
2013-05-07 02:22:46 PM  
Guitarist, here.  Was once asked to play and lead the singing at a graveside service for an elderly aunt.  When I checked into the hotel the night before, I had an acoustic Martin 12-string in a hard shell case.  Met two young hotties in the hall, on the way to my room.

They were all dressed up and on their way out to par-tey. They cooed and said something like "Oooh!  Want to play for us, tonight?"  Did I mention they were "too young" hotties?  Jeez. I was sad about my aunt, and that made me even sadder.

Tossed that old Martin into the hotel dumpster, after I checked out.

/I knew I should have learned to play the farkin' accordion!!
 
gja
2013-05-07 02:22:58 PM  

studs up: unfarkingbelievable: gja: I prefer to show gals my big organ........
[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 257x196]

Impressive, huh?

But can you carry it on your back?

A girl's got to have standards?


She agrees........
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

/not sure i could do the whole "six inch spike through a board with your penis"......but then again......
 
2013-05-07 02:23:01 PM  
What if you're playing Stairway?

codinghorror.typepad.com
 
2013-05-07 02:23:14 PM  
Fano:  Don't forget to say "Crambone" when it happens.

Vigorous actual LOLs at that.... one of my favorite T&J ever!
 
2013-05-07 02:27:18 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

/Couldn't find a better image of the ending of Way Cool Jr.

// I miss the 80's
 
2013-05-07 02:27:49 PM  
I can tell you that it works. It allows you to score the hot girl, or at least get their attention you otherwise would not get. Even the ugly praise and worship guys get chicks, and yes some of us ARE the real and sincere type, why do you ask?

/married my hot girl I met at my christian youth group, where I was playing the guitar.
//still married and committed 19 years later
 
2013-05-07 02:28:30 PM  
So, what happens when I carry around my three guitars? And can actually play them.
 
2013-05-07 02:29:28 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.


I had significant success with my dog.  You can immediately start talking to any girl in any situation if you have a dog with you.  It is socially acceptable.
 
2013-05-07 02:32:56 PM  
been done.

wherebadmovieslive.files.wordpress.com
/obscure?  most likely.
 
2013-05-07 02:33:40 PM  
Poor scientists are still trying to figure out how to get laid.
 
2013-05-07 02:34:34 PM  

blatz514: [ethicsalarms.files.wordpress.com image 314x223]


Ooops.


thank you
 
2013-05-07 02:34:46 PM  

nickerj1: AlwaysRightBoy: I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.

I had significant success with my dog.  You can immediately start talking to any girl in any situation if you have a dog with you.  It is socially acceptable.


Works with a kid in a stroller, too.  Pro Tip?  Borrow one.
 
2013-05-07 02:34:56 PM  
Did anyone notice that the top ten sexiest songs to women are barely tolerable to men, if that?
 
2013-05-07 02:35:08 PM  

nickerj1: AlwaysRightBoy: I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.

I had significant success with my dog.  You can immediately start talking to any girl in any situation if you have a dog with you.  It is socially acceptable.


Ya, you look like a total AW, but if you take a dog to whichever area in your town has all the bars/restaurants, etc. it's like shooting fish in a barrel. It's extremely contrived and pathetic, but effective.
 
2013-05-07 02:36:36 PM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Did anyone notice that the top ten sexiest songs to women are barely tolerable to men, if that?


The ones they admit to loving? Yeah... The ones they actually love? Probably bout the same as yours.

/They just don't want you to know that.

//Or, I just hang out with women who are the right kind of weird.
 
2013-05-07 02:37:07 PM  
a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
/Chickmagnet
 
2013-05-07 02:38:19 PM  

Lexx: Of more interest is the gym bag reducing your chances.  Apparently women don't like jocks?


They do like jocks, but only if they have status. Any fool can (and many do) walk around with gym bags without doing anything special. But being a jock in high school had status. It doesn't work that way out of high school where you could be participating in any sporting activity and people in the in-group of the women probably don't particularly care if you can do 100 push-ups.
 
2013-05-07 02:41:32 PM  

noitsnot: The meta-rule is "Do stuff that gives you status" (or at least be perceived to do said stuff). Anything that will get a group of people paying attention to you as you either do it, or tell them about doing it.

It can be playing guitar, rock climbing, motorcycle racing, just getting back from overseas, winning big in Vegas, opening a brew pub, getting your black belt, whatever.

A big step in that direction is not being in your room playing Xbox. Another key feature is to achieve things as an individual - don't get buried in the group.


My god, man. That is genius. Honestly.
That's going on my kid's bedroom wall.
 
2013-05-07 02:42:13 PM  
"Every Rose has it's Thorn", "Night Moves" and "Wish you were here" served me well enough. It works well on drunk chicks. Actually, the drunker the better. "OMG! I LOOOVE THAT SONG!"

It's not like it's some magical thing, it's an icebreaker to get their attention. It's the BOOZE that gets results. The guitar is just to catch their eye.
 
2013-05-07 02:43:09 PM  
Professional guitarist here, my family pays me not to play, and in my years of research done before I was married it's not just the instrument but also the related terminology. Being able to use lines that include words like F-holes, humbuckers and P coils in a sustained conversation can produce a lot of positive feedback and possibly lead to demonstrations of two finger triads.
 
2013-05-07 02:43:10 PM  

Jayone: So, what happens when I carry around my three guitars? And can actually play them.


that doesn't work. it ends up smacking of real effort. it's like the difference between a single quick prestidigitation and rolling out balls and hoops and white doves.
 
2013-05-07 02:44:15 PM  
Man, I can actually play guitar really good. It hasn't helped me one bit!
 
2013-05-07 02:45:11 PM  
It definitely works. My buddy plays gigs all around Orlando and while he's a relatively decent lookin guy, he's no Ryan Gosling 2.0. Kind of that grungy, my mom may still shop for me type appearance. He's smart and educated though.

That being said, he bagged a 9/10 in looks, 2/10 in lifestyle (29 and has 3 kids with different dudes). But he gets a lot of attention otherwise and he's not cheesy like some of those lame guys you see at coffee shops and stuff.
 
2013-05-07 02:47:54 PM  

LittleSmitty: "Every Rose has it's Thorn", "Night Moves" and "Wish you were here" served me well enough. It works well on drunk chicks. Actually, the drunker the better. "OMG! I LOOOVE THAT SONG!"

It's not like it's some magical thing, it's an icebreaker to get their attention. It's the BOOZE that gets results. The guitar is just to catch their eye.


Another good one:  Patience.
 
2013-05-07 02:48:16 PM  

Jayone: So, what happens when I carry around my three guitars? And can actually play them.


Depends.  Does you mean this?
i.imgur.com
Because That's probably only going to attract rednecks and burnouts.
 
2013-05-07 02:49:08 PM  
A '77 Telecaster with a Hi-A Bartolini mini-humbucker Firebird pickup in the neck postion got Ric Ocasek some...

www.thefablife.com
 
2013-05-07 02:49:24 PM  

XMark: Man, I can actually play guitar really good. It hasn't helped me one bit!


See, that's the problem:  You can go overboard.  Stuff to avoid playing:
Any Yngwie Malmsteen tune.
 
2013-05-07 02:50:55 PM  
What are your chances if you carry a rusty trombone in your pants?
 
2013-05-07 02:51:43 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: How about a soprano ukulele across your back? Does that improve or decrease your chances of getting laid?
I have a theory based on anecdotal evidence. It's not looking good.


I have a concert size in a covered hardcase
nothing so far
 
2013-05-07 02:52:04 PM  
What about the 'Vette?  Cause I have heard it on good authority that it makes women ready for coitus.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-07 02:53:01 PM  

studs up: [pizzabytheslice.com image 470x664]
didn't firkin work. What next?


That's a pocket ukulele
of course it didn't work
 
2013-05-07 02:53:21 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

'forget all about that macho shiat and learn how to play guitar'
 
2013-05-07 02:54:26 PM  
4/3(0)=0
 
2013-05-07 02:54:41 PM  

SoupJohnB: Works with a kid in a stroller, too.  Pro Tip?  Borrow one.


The kid or the stroller?
 
2013-05-07 02:56:35 PM  

nickerj1: AlwaysRightBoy: I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.

I had significant success with my dog.  You can immediately start talking to any girl in any situation if you have a dog with you.  It is socially acceptable.


People like dogs, and it shifts you from "creepy loner" to "guy who cares".

P.S. - It's ALWAYS a rescue dog - always.
 
2013-05-07 03:00:51 PM  
What if you have a guitar growing out of your head?

farm2.static.flickr.com
 
2013-05-07 03:01:17 PM  
I'll stick to writing. It may work out.

www.ssgmusic.com
 
2013-05-07 03:02:02 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: stop typing so fast Pocket Ninja.  i KNOW you're typing at like 120 wpm maybe cause you got so much work to do and can't be bothered with a site like FARK.  but BELIEVE YOU ME. it SHOWS


u jelly
 
2013-05-07 03:04:03 PM  

Pocket Ninja: The most important element of this strategy -- and, truly, this cannot be emphasized enough -- is that once you've gone out and obtained the guitar that you're going to pretend to know how to play, you must develop some effortlessly authentic excuses as to why you cannot simply play on demand. This is more difficult than you might think. One strategy is to cut several of the strings...not all the way, mind you, but just enough that pressure upon them (the sort one might exert with a few "warm up" strums" will cause them to snap. "Damn, I left my replacement string at home." Practice saying that with a slow head shake, a disappointed lip curl. Be disgusted with yourself, and let her try to make you feel better.


I got one better on ya....
I'm a lefty, so whenever I'd get the "oh, you play guitar? play something" and be handed a right handed guitar, I'd look even cooler by holding it upside, knocking out a chord or two and saying "sorry, it's too hard to play upside down. If I had mine...."

This backfired on me once when one of the other guys there had a left handed guitar. At least by then it had been a few years and I could actually play something.
 
2013-05-07 03:08:32 PM  

sure haven't: noitsnot: The meta-rule is "Do stuff that gives you status" (or at least be perceived to do said stuff). Anything that will get a group of people paying attention to you as you either do it, or tell them about doing it.

It can be playing guitar, rock climbing, motorcycle racing, just getting back from overseas, winning big in Vegas, opening a brew pub, getting your black belt, whatever.

A big step in that direction is not being in your room playing Xbox. Another key feature is to achieve things as an individual - don't get buried in the group.

My god, man. That is genius. Honestly.
That's going on my kid's bedroom wall.


sure haven't: noitsnot: The meta-rule is "Do stuff that gives you status" (or at least be perceived to do said stuff). Anything that will get a group of people paying attention to you as you either do it, or tell them about doing it.

It can be playing guitar, rock climbing, motorcycle racing, just getting back from overseas, winning big in Vegas, opening a brew pub, getting your black belt, whatever.

A big step in that direction is not being in your room playing Xbox. Another key feature is to achieve things as an individual - don't get buried in the group.

My god, man. That is genius. Honestly.
That's going on my kid's bedroom wall.


Thanks - as long as he gets some, I will not have lived in vain :)

The bonus is that it also makes your life go somewhere - and people want to be around someone who's life is going somewhere. So you get success, friends, and chicks all in one fell swoop.

The downside is it can be exhausting - and I'm pretty lazy.
 
2013-05-07 03:10:47 PM  
What actually being able to play the guitar may look like:

www.malchick.com

/Yes, that is me
//Her name was Angel
///I could have... but I'm married these days.
 
2013-05-07 03:13:29 PM  
Forget all about that macho shiat
And learn how to play guitar

http://youtu.be/RI7iqnuly4Q
 
2013-05-07 03:14:14 PM  
pfffttt...try this instead
i112.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-07 03:19:15 PM  

WienerButt: It definitely works. My buddy plays gigs all around Orlando and while he's a relatively decent lookin guy, he's no Ryan Gosling 2.0. Kind of that grungy, my mom may still shop for me type appearance. He's smart and educated though.

That being said, he bagged a 9/10 in looks, 2/10 in lifestyle (29 and has 3 kids with different dudes). But he gets a lot of attention otherwise and he's not cheesy like some of those lame guys you see at coffee shops and stuff.


I think I can explain why he's having some trouble with the ladies.
 
2013-05-07 03:20:08 PM  

Odd Bird: pfffttt...try this instead
[i112.photobucket.com image 228x279]


a Greaser haircut?
 
2013-05-07 03:21:27 PM  
Now some people say he had a girl back home
Who messed around and did him pretty wrong
They tell me it kinda hurt him bad
Kinda made him feel pretty sad
 
2013-05-07 03:22:46 PM  
There's no need to actually play the damn thing.  Just sit there with the guitar on your lap while licking your eyebrows.  Works every time.
 
2013-05-07 03:26:40 PM  
pffft had "scientists" been reading MAD Magazine in the '60's that grant application would've written it's self.

Exact same premise was covered in '67?  I think it was 67 - a bit blurry but that's what I'm going with . . .
" Can you play"
no answer
"can you play huh can ya'?
no answer
"What's in the guitar case?"
*looks around conspiratorially*
"  .  .  .  status  .  .  ."
 
2013-05-07 03:40:24 PM  
In high school and college, I learned A LOT of shiatty Dave Matthews songs (redundant, I know), and yes, playing things that girls like, even when you're only a C-minus singer like I am, is a great way to get a conversation with girls.

The rest is up to you, so if your looks and personality are to up to par, you can still chase her away, but having a talent like guitar or piano is an excellent way to get your foot in the door, and your penis in the backdoor,if ua catch my drift.
 
2013-05-07 03:49:23 PM  
I play a drum, and women dance and shake their boobs and hips to my mad rhythms.  It's pretty cool.
 
2013-05-07 03:53:49 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-07 04:00:09 PM  

scarmig: I play a drum, and women dance and shake their boobs and hips to my mad rhythms.  It's pretty cool.



i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2013-05-07 04:03:05 PM  
Tune to an open G chord (d g d g b g). You may need to buy a tuner if you have no ear. Buy a slide. Think in 3s and 2s (third fret +2 =5th ect) Fake yourself some blues.
 
2013-05-07 04:03:19 PM  

gja: I prefer to show gals my big organ........


Impressive, huh?


Playing organ is only a useful skill if you know Toccata &Fugue in D minor.
 
2013-05-07 04:06:00 PM  

Oldiron_79: gja: I prefer to show gals my big organ........


Impressive, huh?

Playing organ is only a useful skill if you know Toccata &Fugue in D minor.


I did that too.  It is very impressive, but not much for the getting laid bit.  People associate you with Phantom of the Opera instead of Casanova.
 
2013-05-07 04:16:33 PM  

Odd Bird: pfffttt...try this instead
[i112.photobucket.com image 228x279]


+Eleventy internets for you, good sir.
 
2013-05-07 04:38:36 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Tune to an open G chord (d g d g b g). You may need to buy a tuner if you have no ear. Buy a slide. Think in 3s and 2s (third fret +2 =5th ect) Fake yourself some blues.


Amen, theres a dude here sits in the local park playing nothing but two finger chords with an occasional pinky slide thrown in, he keeps this "I'm constipated and trying to crap' look on his face and the chicks stop (hell so do a lot of dudes) to listen to him like he is Andy fricken McKee or something


/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddn4MGaS3N4
 
2013-05-07 04:42:16 PM  
Yup. You can have the cure for cancer, AIDS and premature baldness in your back pocket, and you'll still get laid a hell of a lot less than the high school drop out living with his mom who can play one chord on a thrift store guitar and sing a song that he can stick the girl's name into.

I don't know why it be like it is, but it do.
/thanks Oscar
 
2013-05-07 04:44:50 PM  

Fano: Pocket Ninja: The most important element of this strategy -- and, truly, this cannot be emphasized enough -- is that once you've gone out and obtained the guitar that you're going to pretend to know how to play, you must develop some effortlessly authentic excuses as to why you cannot simply play on demand. This is more difficult than you might think. One strategy is to cut several of the strings...not all the way, mind you, but just enough that pressure upon them (the sort one might exert with a few "warm up" strums" will cause them to snap. "Damn, I left my replacement string at home." Practice saying that with a slow head shake, a disappointed lip curl. Be disgusted with yourself, and let her try to make you feel better.

Don't forget to say "Crambone" when it happens.


t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-07 04:55:39 PM  

Pribar: DreamyAltarBoy: Tune to an open G chord (d g d g b g). You may need to buy a tuner if you have no ear. Buy a slide. Think in 3s and 2s (third fret +2 =5th ect) Fake yourself some blues.

Amen, theres a dude here sits in the local park playing nothing but two finger chords with an occasional pinky slide thrown in, he keeps this "I'm constipated and trying to crap' look on his face and the chicks stop (hell so do a lot of dudes) to listen to him like he is Andy fricken McKee or something


/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddn4MGaS3N4


Oh, so you've met me?
 
2013-05-07 05:00:59 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Pribar: DreamyAltarBoy: Tune to an open G chord (d g d g b g). You may need to buy a tuner if you have no ear. Buy a slide. Think in 3s and 2s (third fret +2 =5th ect) Fake yourself some blues.

Amen, theres a dude here sits in the local park playing nothing but two finger chords with an occasional pinky slide thrown in, he keeps this "I'm constipated and trying to crap' look on his face and the chicks stop (hell so do a lot of dudes) to listen to him like he is Andy fricken McKee or something


/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddn4MGaS3N4

Oh, so you've met me?


I bet this guy gets more tail than any blues guy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2xOw-VXe_g

52 seconds is nice.
 
2013-05-07 05:05:11 PM  

SnakeLee: But this technique only works if your a man, women are not seen any more or less attractive if they carry a musical instrument.

This study is clearly flawed.


Horribly flawed. A woman with a Cello is insanely hot. Women bass players are hot. Women drummers are hot (though maybe not if they carry their drumkit on their back I suppose)
 
2013-05-07 05:05:42 PM  
Or there's always the kazookeylele

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAg5KjnAhuU

/he must be tired all the time
 
2013-05-07 05:08:50 PM  
I'm pretty good at guitar (good for an amateur/crappy for a professional) and not bad looking, but I forgot the part where you also have to play in public for women to see you. Since I was never in a band the only other scenarios I can think of that justify bringing a guitar are to pretend to be homeless on a street corner or when singing Kumbaya at Vacation Bible Camp.
 
2013-05-07 05:12:02 PM  
Are these scientists or "scientists"?
 
2013-05-07 05:16:16 PM  
It sure is interesting how in our society, it's acceptable and even encouraged to objectify men, but to objectify a woman is the root of all evil.
 
2013-05-07 05:18:39 PM  
 Pffft, Whatever I figured this out in 7th grade.

Hypnozombie
/It was an integral part of my biology research
 
2013-05-07 05:20:29 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: Or there's always the kazookeylele

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAg5KjnAhuU

/he must be tired all the time


My journeyman was watching over my shoulder, when she saw that....thing she said and I quote "oh my farking god, if anyone ever brings one of those into the shop I will use the anti robbery broadsword on em"


/currently have a Hurdy Gurdy in the shop, she treats it like it will infect the other insturments
 
2013-05-07 05:26:35 PM  

Pribar: Amen, theres a dude here sits in the local park playing nothing but two finger chords with an occasional pinky slide thrown in

    Sounds a little like Blind Lemon Pledge who was a very polished performer that had a shining hit with " I Put a Smell on You". He recorded stacks of wax but only ever charted again with "I've got Joy, Joy, Joy Down in my Heart" a tribute to his main squeeze, Lemon Joy. He also covered "Endust My Broom",  "Pride and Joy" and headlined the Wax On Wax Off festival but had a bad build up of misfortune and faded over the years. I lost track of him along with Martin Mull. It might be either one of them.
 
2013-05-07 05:27:06 PM  
I think it's all about showing off your tight G-string.
 
2013-05-07 05:28:49 PM  

Why Would I Read the Article: In high school and college, I learned A LOT of shiatty Dave Matthews songs (redundant, I know), and yes, playing things that girls like, even when you're only a C-minus singer like I am, is a great way to get a conversation with girls.

The rest is up to you, so if your looks and personality are to up to par, you can still chase her away, but having a talent like guitar or piano is an excellent way to get your foot in the door, and your penis in the backdoor,if ua catch my drift.


Learn a few party songs and you're golden.

I was in college in the mid-90's, so I had some Hootie and the Blowfish, a little Jimmy Buffett, the aforementioned "Every Rose has its Thorn" (GOLD with drunk redneck girls), and similar in my playbook. Oh, and Zeppelin's "Hey, Hey, What Can I Do?". Basically, if a music snob hates it, it's probably worth learning... because the types of tuned music snobs hate are the same type that are fun to sing after a couple beers. And that's the real trick- get other people to have fun.

Oh, and a little Dylan never hurts. Hippie chicks and poetry majors dig "Tangled Up in Blue".
 
2013-05-07 05:32:36 PM  

Pribar: TheShavingofOccam123: Or there's always the kazookeylele

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAg5KjnAhuU

/he must be tired all the time

My journeyman was watching over my shoulder, when she saw that....thing she said and I quote "oh my farking god, if anyone ever brings one of those into the shop I will use the anti robbery broadsword on em"


/currently have a Hurdy Gurdy in the shop, she treats it like it will infect the other insturments


I'm pretty sure it's a one-off. Made from Goodwill purchases. I think the guy had way too much time on his hands. But kudos to the execution and the playing.
 
2013-05-07 05:38:18 PM  
I'm definitely not the best looking guy I the world, at all, and I'm married so I couldn't seal the deal even if I wanted to but this article doesn't surprise me at all. I like taking my kids to the park and playing guitar while they're running around. I don't even know how many times women have come up and started talkng to me because of that. It's nuts and I don't understand it but it is always an ego boost.
 
2013-05-07 05:52:19 PM  
Chicks dig guys with skills.

/nunchuck skills
//bowhunting skills
///slashy skills
 
2013-05-07 05:53:25 PM  

Pribar: DreamyAltarBoy: Tune to an open G chord (d g d g b g). You may need to buy a tuner if you have no ear. Buy a slide. Think in 3s and 2s (third fret +2 =5th ect) Fake yourself some blues.

Amen, theres a dude here sits in the local park playing nothing but two finger chords with an occasional pinky slide thrown in, he keeps this "I'm constipated and trying to crap' look on his face and the chicks stop (hell so do a lot of dudes) to listen to him like he is Andy fricken McKee or something


/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddn4MGaS3N4


I can play that song, and it was my "ace in the pocket" for a few aussies. Last one to catch with it was my wife and we're still happily married >8-)

/Andy McKee's Drifting is played in DADGAD
//Fingers will bleed whilst learning
 
2013-05-07 05:56:04 PM  
What if it's the woman who plays the guitar?
 
2013-05-07 06:17:00 PM  

sewnandsilent: Pribar: DreamyAltarBoy: Tune to an open G chord (d g d g b g). You may need to buy a tuner if you have no ear. Buy a slide. Think in 3s and 2s (third fret +2 =5th ect) Fake yourself some blues.

Amen, theres a dude here sits in the local park playing nothing but two finger chords with an occasional pinky slide thrown in, he keeps this "I'm constipated and trying to crap' look on his face and the chicks stop (hell so do a lot of dudes) to listen to him like he is Andy fricken McKee or something


/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddn4MGaS3N4

I can play that song, and it was my "ace in the pocket" for a few aussies. Last one to catch with it was my wife and we're still happily married >8-)

/Andy McKee's Drifting is played in DADGAD
//Fingers will bleed whilst learning


currently working on learning this one, I have the tabs and sheet music for Drifting, but I keep putting off trying to tackle it
 
2013-05-07 06:22:50 PM  

dittybopper: Any Yngwie Malmsteen tune.


Wait wait. I always thought shredding meant "using a guitar to shred off her panties"???

It's all the better if you do it with giant 80s rocker hair.
 
2013-05-07 06:39:57 PM  
I hope they enjoy my medley consisting of parts of Misfits and Black Sabbaths songs.
 
2013-05-07 06:48:39 PM  

Some Bass Playing Guy: Unfortunately, I play bass, which has been proven to not get you laid. :)


I can confirm this.  I picked the wrong instrument.  You'd think I would have learned my lesson in middle school when I picked the oboe instead of sax.
 
2013-05-07 06:58:13 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Tune to an open G chord (d g d g b g). You may need to buy a tuner if you have no ear. Buy a slide. Think in 3s and 2s (third fret +2 =5th ect) Fake yourself some blues.


That high g--tune up to it or down to it?
 
2013-05-07 07:23:33 PM  

Zul the Magnificent: DreamyAltarBoy: Tune to an open G chord (d g d g b g). You may need to buy a tuner if you have no ear. Buy a slide. Think in 3s and 2s (third fret +2 =5th ect) Fake yourself some blues.

That high g--tune up to it or down to it?


All right, Zull, actually drop it to d, I was moving a little fast there. A light string up to g sounds a bit Hawaiian.
 
2013-05-07 07:46:48 PM  

SnakeLee: But this technique only works if your a man, women are not seen any more or less attractive if they carry a musical instrument.

This study is clearly flawed.

Anyways, I always feel like a douche playing even on my front steps.  I bring it on vacations and stuff because I love playing and become incredibly guilty if I don't practice, but it sucks to play out in public because it draws so much attention.  If you play in a park, on the beach, etc., most of the time people will come up and randomly try to give you a dollar which is super shiatty and annoying.




fark'em.

/one of those
 
2013-05-07 08:03:07 PM  
Reasons to learn to play the guitar:

1.  To get laid more often.

2.  See reason 1.
 
2013-05-07 08:20:05 PM  
I'm too lazy to do anything about it but this thread should be filled with pictures of babes with bass guitars.
 
2013-05-07 08:23:57 PM  
0 x 1.333 = 0
 
2013-05-07 08:30:04 PM  

StopKing: I'm too lazy to do anything about it but this thread should be filled with pictures of babes with bass guitars.


i play trumpet, the musical fruit of the ANGELS
answer me that SATAN
 
2013-05-07 08:38:09 PM  
I can only relate my personal experience...
YES - IT WORKS!
The only difference is that I actually know how to play guitar.
 
2013-05-07 09:07:18 PM  

Sybarite: This glockenspiel on the other hand has done NOTHING for me.


You just have to know how to work it....
 
2013-05-07 09:15:50 PM  

cyberspacedout: I think it's all about showing off your tight G-string.


Women love guys holding a guitar, but more so if they can play it.  Learn to play barre chords.  Arpeggiate occasionally rather than strumming.  If you can sing while you play, they will eat it up.  Write a few songs (not hard, just p-lay a variation of 1-4-5, with an occasional minor for the bridge), and, well, they will sort of melt.

Be attractive, interesting, funny, have a PhD, be able to dance, do some art on the side, etc., and they'll be climbing over one another to get to you.

In grad school, I once had three ballerinas competing directly in front of me to show off who was the most flexible.  Nice, but I had a GF at the time.  :-(  Only got an ego-boost from that one.

Also, if you're not fat, go to the beach in a G-string.  Pick an empty space.  You'll wake up from your nap with a collection of women having put their blankets down nearby.  It's not about appearance, but probably perceived self-confidence.

On the beach, it's also quite funny to see groups of guys walking by.  All at the same moment, they'll "target" the buns in a G-string, assuming it's a woman.  1.5 seconds later they will all suddenly start staring at their feet, perhaps for fear of catching the ghey.  Pretty funny.

And anyway, even if you have a GF, there's no harm in looking, or in getting an occasional ego-boost.  A touch of jealousy can keep a relationship HOT.
 
2013-05-07 09:21:44 PM  
Guitar players get tail. Lead singers get supermodels
 
2013-05-07 09:34:29 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Guitar players get tail. Lead singers get supermodels


Guys that are both get supermodels+.  My neighbor is one of them.  (Not me.)

VH1's Duran Duran interviews were gold.  Those guys described their experiences so wistfully...
 
2013-05-07 09:54:45 PM  
I guess this works if you're not looking for a long term thing because she'll eventually figure it out. Why not just learn to play the guitar? Though I would still find it a bit annoying that a guy wanted to learn guitar for dates and not because he just wanted to learn something and better himself. I like people who want to do things and gain skills.
 
2013-05-07 10:18:27 PM  
Yeah, chicks actually really dig guitars. Here's proof (NSFW).

/never helped me one bit
 
2013-05-07 10:25:16 PM  

AutumnWind: I guess this works if you're not looking for a long term thing because she'll eventually figure it out. Why not just learn to play the guitar? Though I would still find it a bit annoying that a guy wanted to learn guitar for dates and not because he just wanted to learn something and better himself. I like people who want to do things and gain skills.




You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
 
2013-05-07 10:35:42 PM  
I took air guitar lessons and now I am ready to stack biatches like cordwood !  Any requests besides Go Away?
 
2013-05-07 10:37:32 PM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: Yeah, chicks actually really dig guitars. Here's proof (NSFW).

/never helped me one bit


Mine's a bit thicker than that whammy bar...
 
2013-05-07 10:44:07 PM  
0 x 1.33 = 0
 
2013-05-07 10:51:38 PM  
Oh, and let's not forget Rule 34:

imgs.xkcd.com
In case anyone doubts its existence: http://www.wetriffs.com/ (NSFW)
 
2013-05-07 10:53:18 PM  

AutumnWind: I guess this works if you're not looking for a long term thing because she'll eventually figure it out. Why not just learn to play the guitar? Though I would still find it a bit annoying that a guy wanted to learn guitar for dates and not because he just wanted to learn something and better himself. I like people who want to do things and gain skills.


Guitar is easy to learn.  If you want a LT relationship, then just keep on that road of practicing, letting it be known.  Eventually, just stick with the girl that suits you.
 
2013-05-07 10:58:31 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.


And the guitar doesn't shiat everywhere.
 
2013-05-07 11:33:33 PM  
StoPPeRmobile:

You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

If somebody (guy or girl)  has a skill they've worked hard on .. you can't help but be impressed. But if they suck as a person and you don't match in any way then that's not going to work.
 
2013-05-07 11:35:20 PM  
Know what you call a musician that does not have a girlfriend......


HOMELESS
 
2013-05-07 11:47:42 PM  
cdn2.dualshockers.com
 
2013-05-07 11:53:01 PM  

Fano: Don't forget to say "Crambone" when it happens.


So much win
 
2013-05-08 12:00:54 AM  

chubby muppet: Fano: Pocket Ninja: The most important element of this strategy -- and, truly, this cannot be emphasized enough -- is that once you've gone out and obtained the guitar that you're going to pretend to know how to play, you must develop some effortlessly authentic excuses as to why you cannot simply play on demand. This is more difficult than you might think. One strategy is to cut several of the strings...not all the way, mind you, but just enough that pressure upon them (the sort one might exert with a few "warm up" strums" will cause them to snap. "Damn, I left my replacement string at home." Practice saying that with a slow head shake, a disappointed lip curl. Be disgusted with yourself, and let her try to make you feel better.

Don't forget to say "Crambone" when it happens.

[t2.gstatic.com image 256x144]


...then you pluck a pussy hair for a replacement
 
gja
2013-05-08 12:38:45 AM  

scarmig: Oldiron_79: gja: I prefer to show gals my big organ........


Impressive, huh?

Playing organ is only a useful skill if you know Toccata &Fugue in D minor.

I did that too.  It is very impressive, but not much for the getting laid bit.  People associate you with Phantom of the Opera instead of Casanova.


LOL, yeah that could be a problem

CSB/
Had a Leslie for my poor old re-wheeled (all the generator wheels loving rebuilt) B3, back in my single days. Freakin monster that is closest to what a 971 would be, but wasn't solid state amped. Built a ridiculously powerful amp from 4 6lq6 tubes in a push/pull config. Well into the hundreds of watts (somewhere approx 500+).
With a converted ad re-coned electromagnet bottom driver and the treble horn feed plate modified so I could thread on 3 horn drivers it was insanely loud and clear as crystal (which, ironically, it could crack into pieces it was THAT loud).
I made many neighbors hate my guts, but lordy was that thing wonderful. Sold a few years later to a dude who had a working band.
He told my some months after buying it "jesus-fricikin-xmas this thing has balls, I never have a problem getting drowned out by the lead anymore but I think I got close to puking a few times I overdrove the pre-in..."
SIGH....them were da days.

/CSB off
 
2013-05-08 03:15:31 AM  
SirHolo:
Also, if you're not fat, go to the beach in a G-string.  Pick an empty space.  You'll wake up from your nap with a collection of women having put their blankets down nearby.  It's not about appearance, but probably perceived self-confidence.

Are you sure that they don't just think you are gay, and therefor 'safe' to set up their towels next to? I'm actually not trying to be snarky, I've just never heard of women thinking g-strings are a hetero, non-european guy thing.
 
2013-05-08 03:20:02 AM  
Huh. I got a Telecaster last fall and my wife hasn't exactly become a groupie.
 
2013-05-08 04:35:00 AM  

ambercat: SirHolo:
Also, if you're not fat, go to the beach in a G-string.  Pick an empty space.  You'll wake up from your nap with a collection of women having put their blankets down nearby.  It's not about appearance, but probably perceived self-confidence.

Are you sure that they don't just think you are gay, and therefor 'safe' to set up their towels next to? I'm actually not trying to be snarky, I've just never heard of women thinking g-strings are a hetero, non-european guy thing.


Hmmn, maybe, but nonetheless I get lots of eye candy parking nearby.  Sometimes topless.  Other times directly facing me while pulling over their bottoms to clean the sand out.  It all makes for a pleasant afternoon in the sun.

Oh, and when I would do the same with my girl at the time (rather than alone), the density would increase.  But, you know, maybe that also made me look safer.  Or, maybe they felt competitive with blonde I was with.  Who knows?
 
2013-05-08 09:15:46 AM  
In other news, doing some pushups and actually learning to say hello is less time-consuming and will increase your chances by something like 3000%.
 
2013-05-08 11:17:32 AM  

DreamyAltarBoy: All right, Zull, actually drop it to d


Thx!
 
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