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(Daily Mail)   Scientists say that if you carry a guitar on your back and pretend that you play one, your chance of getting laid increases by a third   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 175
    More: Interesting, behavioural sciences, Somalian, French Studies  
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9667 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2013 at 1:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-07 08:38:09 PM  
I can only relate my personal experience...
YES - IT WORKS!
The only difference is that I actually know how to play guitar.
 
2013-05-07 09:07:18 PM  

Sybarite: This glockenspiel on the other hand has done NOTHING for me.


You just have to know how to work it....
 
2013-05-07 09:15:50 PM  

cyberspacedout: I think it's all about showing off your tight G-string.


Women love guys holding a guitar, but more so if they can play it.  Learn to play barre chords.  Arpeggiate occasionally rather than strumming.  If you can sing while you play, they will eat it up.  Write a few songs (not hard, just p-lay a variation of 1-4-5, with an occasional minor for the bridge), and, well, they will sort of melt.

Be attractive, interesting, funny, have a PhD, be able to dance, do some art on the side, etc., and they'll be climbing over one another to get to you.

In grad school, I once had three ballerinas competing directly in front of me to show off who was the most flexible.  Nice, but I had a GF at the time.  :-(  Only got an ego-boost from that one.

Also, if you're not fat, go to the beach in a G-string.  Pick an empty space.  You'll wake up from your nap with a collection of women having put their blankets down nearby.  It's not about appearance, but probably perceived self-confidence.

On the beach, it's also quite funny to see groups of guys walking by.  All at the same moment, they'll "target" the buns in a G-string, assuming it's a woman.  1.5 seconds later they will all suddenly start staring at their feet, perhaps for fear of catching the ghey.  Pretty funny.

And anyway, even if you have a GF, there's no harm in looking, or in getting an occasional ego-boost.  A touch of jealousy can keep a relationship HOT.
 
2013-05-07 09:21:44 PM  
Guitar players get tail. Lead singers get supermodels
 
2013-05-07 09:34:29 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Guitar players get tail. Lead singers get supermodels


Guys that are both get supermodels+.  My neighbor is one of them.  (Not me.)

VH1's Duran Duran interviews were gold.  Those guys described their experiences so wistfully...
 
2013-05-07 09:54:45 PM  
I guess this works if you're not looking for a long term thing because she'll eventually figure it out. Why not just learn to play the guitar? Though I would still find it a bit annoying that a guy wanted to learn guitar for dates and not because he just wanted to learn something and better himself. I like people who want to do things and gain skills.
 
2013-05-07 10:18:27 PM  
Yeah, chicks actually really dig guitars. Here's proof (NSFW).

/never helped me one bit
 
2013-05-07 10:25:16 PM  

AutumnWind: I guess this works if you're not looking for a long term thing because she'll eventually figure it out. Why not just learn to play the guitar? Though I would still find it a bit annoying that a guy wanted to learn guitar for dates and not because he just wanted to learn something and better himself. I like people who want to do things and gain skills.




You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
 
2013-05-07 10:35:42 PM  
I took air guitar lessons and now I am ready to stack biatches like cordwood !  Any requests besides Go Away?
 
2013-05-07 10:37:32 PM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: Yeah, chicks actually really dig guitars. Here's proof (NSFW).

/never helped me one bit


Mine's a bit thicker than that whammy bar...
 
2013-05-07 10:44:07 PM  
0 x 1.33 = 0
 
2013-05-07 10:51:38 PM  
Oh, and let's not forget Rule 34:

imgs.xkcd.com
In case anyone doubts its existence: http://www.wetriffs.com/ (NSFW)
 
2013-05-07 10:53:18 PM  

AutumnWind: I guess this works if you're not looking for a long term thing because she'll eventually figure it out. Why not just learn to play the guitar? Though I would still find it a bit annoying that a guy wanted to learn guitar for dates and not because he just wanted to learn something and better himself. I like people who want to do things and gain skills.


Guitar is easy to learn.  If you want a LT relationship, then just keep on that road of practicing, letting it be known.  Eventually, just stick with the girl that suits you.
 
2013-05-07 10:58:31 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.


And the guitar doesn't shiat everywhere.
 
2013-05-07 11:33:33 PM  
StoPPeRmobile:

You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

If somebody (guy or girl)  has a skill they've worked hard on .. you can't help but be impressed. But if they suck as a person and you don't match in any way then that's not going to work.
 
2013-05-07 11:35:20 PM  
Know what you call a musician that does not have a girlfriend......


HOMELESS
 
2013-05-07 11:47:42 PM  
cdn2.dualshockers.com
 
2013-05-07 11:53:01 PM  

Fano: Don't forget to say "Crambone" when it happens.


So much win
 
2013-05-08 12:00:54 AM  

chubby muppet: Fano: Pocket Ninja: The most important element of this strategy -- and, truly, this cannot be emphasized enough -- is that once you've gone out and obtained the guitar that you're going to pretend to know how to play, you must develop some effortlessly authentic excuses as to why you cannot simply play on demand. This is more difficult than you might think. One strategy is to cut several of the strings...not all the way, mind you, but just enough that pressure upon them (the sort one might exert with a few "warm up" strums" will cause them to snap. "Damn, I left my replacement string at home." Practice saying that with a slow head shake, a disappointed lip curl. Be disgusted with yourself, and let her try to make you feel better.

Don't forget to say "Crambone" when it happens.

[t2.gstatic.com image 256x144]


...then you pluck a pussy hair for a replacement
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-05-08 12:38:45 AM  

scarmig: Oldiron_79: gja: I prefer to show gals my big organ........


Impressive, huh?

Playing organ is only a useful skill if you know Toccata &Fugue in D minor.

I did that too.  It is very impressive, but not much for the getting laid bit.  People associate you with Phantom of the Opera instead of Casanova.


LOL, yeah that could be a problem

CSB/
Had a Leslie for my poor old re-wheeled (all the generator wheels loving rebuilt) B3, back in my single days. Freakin monster that is closest to what a 971 would be, but wasn't solid state amped. Built a ridiculously powerful amp from 4 6lq6 tubes in a push/pull config. Well into the hundreds of watts (somewhere approx 500+).
With a converted ad re-coned electromagnet bottom driver and the treble horn feed plate modified so I could thread on 3 horn drivers it was insanely loud and clear as crystal (which, ironically, it could crack into pieces it was THAT loud).
I made many neighbors hate my guts, but lordy was that thing wonderful. Sold a few years later to a dude who had a working band.
He told my some months after buying it "jesus-fricikin-xmas this thing has balls, I never have a problem getting drowned out by the lead anymore but I think I got close to puking a few times I overdrove the pre-in..."
SIGH....them were da days.

/CSB off
 
2013-05-08 03:15:31 AM  
SirHolo:
Also, if you're not fat, go to the beach in a G-string.  Pick an empty space.  You'll wake up from your nap with a collection of women having put their blankets down nearby.  It's not about appearance, but probably perceived self-confidence.

Are you sure that they don't just think you are gay, and therefor 'safe' to set up their towels next to? I'm actually not trying to be snarky, I've just never heard of women thinking g-strings are a hetero, non-european guy thing.
 
2013-05-08 03:20:02 AM  
Huh. I got a Telecaster last fall and my wife hasn't exactly become a groupie.
 
2013-05-08 04:35:00 AM  

ambercat: SirHolo:
Also, if you're not fat, go to the beach in a G-string.  Pick an empty space.  You'll wake up from your nap with a collection of women having put their blankets down nearby.  It's not about appearance, but probably perceived self-confidence.

Are you sure that they don't just think you are gay, and therefor 'safe' to set up their towels next to? I'm actually not trying to be snarky, I've just never heard of women thinking g-strings are a hetero, non-european guy thing.


Hmmn, maybe, but nonetheless I get lots of eye candy parking nearby.  Sometimes topless.  Other times directly facing me while pulling over their bottoms to clean the sand out.  It all makes for a pleasant afternoon in the sun.

Oh, and when I would do the same with my girl at the time (rather than alone), the density would increase.  But, you know, maybe that also made me look safer.  Or, maybe they felt competitive with blonde I was with.  Who knows?
 
2013-05-08 09:15:46 AM  
In other news, doing some pushups and actually learning to say hello is less time-consuming and will increase your chances by something like 3000%.
 
2013-05-08 11:17:32 AM  

DreamyAltarBoy: All right, Zull, actually drop it to d


Thx!
 
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