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(Daily Mail)   Scientists say that if you carry a guitar on your back and pretend that you play one, your chance of getting laid increases by a third   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 175
    More: Interesting, behavioural sciences, Somalian, French Studies  
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9674 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2013 at 1:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-07 02:07:05 PM  

Lexx: Of more interest is the gym bag reducing your chances.  Apparently women don't like jocks?


Maybe they're worried that the guy has rope and duct tape in the bag.
 
2013-05-07 02:08:29 PM  
Yeah...that's it!  The Guitar Man!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrsKJ0KUyJw
 
2013-05-07 02:08:57 PM  
The meta-rule is "Do stuff that gives you status" (or at least be perceived to do said stuff). Anything that will get a group of people paying attention to you as you either do it, or tell them about doing it.

It can be playing guitar, rock climbing, motorcycle racing, just getting back from overseas, winning big in Vegas, opening a brew pub, getting your black belt, whatever.

A big step in that direction is not being in your room playing Xbox. Another key feature is to achieve things as an individual - don't get buried in the group.
 
2013-05-07 02:10:29 PM  
I've been told I'm pretty good at Guitar Hero.  That counts, right?
 
2013-05-07 02:10:32 PM  

SnakeLee: But this technique only works if your a man, women are not seen any more or less attractive if they carry a musical instrument.

This study is clearly flawed.


This article is clearly flawed.  Do they not have editors at the Daily Mail?  Have they ever heard of the basic principles of English grammar and punctuation?
 
2013-05-07 02:10:45 PM  
What, no "obvious" tag?
 
2013-05-07 02:11:46 PM  

gja: I prefer to show gals my big organ........
[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 257x196]

Impressive, huh?


But can you carry it on your back?
 
2013-05-07 02:15:41 PM  

cbathrob: See, my problem is that I actually tried to play the guitar, often while sitting in my dorm lounge.  Yeah, I was that guy.  Sadly, it never got me laid.

/csb


Yes, the that guy that does that is one of the worst that guys. Learn to play at home and then if you get good find a gig where people can have the choice to hear you.
 
2013-05-07 02:15:52 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: gja: I prefer to show gals my big organ........
[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 257x196]

Impressive, huh?

But can you carry it on your back?


A girl's got to have standards?
 
2013-05-07 02:17:44 PM  

cbathrob: See, my problem is that I actually tried to play the guitar, often while sitting in my dorm lounge.  Yeah, I was that guy.  Sadly, it never got me laid.


If you realize that you're not impressing the ladies, just tell them "Usually I'm pretty good but the reason I suck today is because last time I went to the music store I accidentally bought left-handed strings."
 
2013-05-07 02:18:03 PM  

Nickninja: This kindof stuff is what pisses me off the most.  While I spent my formative years learning useful skills and advancing my career potential, I was all alone while douchebags who learned to play guitar got laid.  Yes, now that I'm a successful adult I've had plenty of girlfriends, but I will never get back the high school/college years when I could have had wild sex with barely legal girls.


You don't actually need to learn how to play.  As TFA points out, merely holding the guitar was enough to triple the numbers of girls who would give the guy a phone number.

And most of the guys who I would see "play" the guitar on the quad, surrounded by groups of adoring women, just strummed the guitar real slowly while singing in-between strokes.  There's no learning there, anyone can do that.  The hard part is having a semi-decent singing voice and being able to sing the idiotic lyrics that makes women think you are "deep" and "in touch with your emotions".

SnakeLee: If you play in a park, on the beach, etc., most of the time people will come up and randomly try to give you a dollar which is super shiatty and annoying.


Oh no, people are trying to give me money!  Man up, put a hat out in front of you, and practice to your heart's content.  So what if you come home with $20 more than you had when you started.
 
2013-05-07 02:18:27 PM  

schnee: [www.explosm.net image 537x357]


One of my favorite C&Hs.  Subtle use of color FTW.

spentmiles: [i39.tinypic.com image 533x553]


No, no.  The correct response is a photo of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-05-07 02:19:40 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: gja: I prefer to show gals my big organ........
[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 257x196]

Impressive, huh?

But can you carry it on your back?


Hell no, I need a fork-lift to carry it for me. Scares the hell outta most chix.
 
2013-05-07 02:22:46 PM  
Guitarist, here.  Was once asked to play and lead the singing at a graveside service for an elderly aunt.  When I checked into the hotel the night before, I had an acoustic Martin 12-string in a hard shell case.  Met two young hotties in the hall, on the way to my room.

They were all dressed up and on their way out to par-tey. They cooed and said something like "Oooh!  Want to play for us, tonight?"  Did I mention they were "too young" hotties?  Jeez. I was sad about my aunt, and that made me even sadder.

Tossed that old Martin into the hotel dumpster, after I checked out.

/I knew I should have learned to play the farkin' accordion!!
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-05-07 02:22:58 PM  

studs up: unfarkingbelievable: gja: I prefer to show gals my big organ........
[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 257x196]

Impressive, huh?

But can you carry it on your back?

A girl's got to have standards?


She agrees........
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

/not sure i could do the whole "six inch spike through a board with your penis"......but then again......
 
2013-05-07 02:23:01 PM  
What if you're playing Stairway?

codinghorror.typepad.com
 
2013-05-07 02:23:14 PM  
Fano:  Don't forget to say "Crambone" when it happens.

Vigorous actual LOLs at that.... one of my favorite T&J ever!
 
2013-05-07 02:27:18 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

/Couldn't find a better image of the ending of Way Cool Jr.

// I miss the 80's
 
2013-05-07 02:27:49 PM  
I can tell you that it works. It allows you to score the hot girl, or at least get their attention you otherwise would not get. Even the ugly praise and worship guys get chicks, and yes some of us ARE the real and sincere type, why do you ask?

/married my hot girl I met at my christian youth group, where I was playing the guitar.
//still married and committed 19 years later
 
2013-05-07 02:28:30 PM  
So, what happens when I carry around my three guitars? And can actually play them.
 
2013-05-07 02:29:28 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.


I had significant success with my dog.  You can immediately start talking to any girl in any situation if you have a dog with you.  It is socially acceptable.
 
2013-05-07 02:32:56 PM  
been done.

wherebadmovieslive.files.wordpress.com
/obscure?  most likely.
 
2013-05-07 02:33:40 PM  
Poor scientists are still trying to figure out how to get laid.
 
2013-05-07 02:34:34 PM  

blatz514: [ethicsalarms.files.wordpress.com image 314x223]


Ooops.


thank you
 
2013-05-07 02:34:46 PM  

nickerj1: AlwaysRightBoy: I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.

I had significant success with my dog.  You can immediately start talking to any girl in any situation if you have a dog with you.  It is socially acceptable.


Works with a kid in a stroller, too.  Pro Tip?  Borrow one.
 
2013-05-07 02:34:56 PM  
Did anyone notice that the top ten sexiest songs to women are barely tolerable to men, if that?
 
2013-05-07 02:35:08 PM  

nickerj1: AlwaysRightBoy: I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.

I had significant success with my dog.  You can immediately start talking to any girl in any situation if you have a dog with you.  It is socially acceptable.


Ya, you look like a total AW, but if you take a dog to whichever area in your town has all the bars/restaurants, etc. it's like shooting fish in a barrel. It's extremely contrived and pathetic, but effective.
 
2013-05-07 02:36:36 PM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Did anyone notice that the top ten sexiest songs to women are barely tolerable to men, if that?


The ones they admit to loving? Yeah... The ones they actually love? Probably bout the same as yours.

/They just don't want you to know that.

//Or, I just hang out with women who are the right kind of weird.
 
2013-05-07 02:37:07 PM  
a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
/Chickmagnet
 
2013-05-07 02:38:19 PM  

Lexx: Of more interest is the gym bag reducing your chances.  Apparently women don't like jocks?


They do like jocks, but only if they have status. Any fool can (and many do) walk around with gym bags without doing anything special. But being a jock in high school had status. It doesn't work that way out of high school where you could be participating in any sporting activity and people in the in-group of the women probably don't particularly care if you can do 100 push-ups.
 
2013-05-07 02:41:32 PM  

noitsnot: The meta-rule is "Do stuff that gives you status" (or at least be perceived to do said stuff). Anything that will get a group of people paying attention to you as you either do it, or tell them about doing it.

It can be playing guitar, rock climbing, motorcycle racing, just getting back from overseas, winning big in Vegas, opening a brew pub, getting your black belt, whatever.

A big step in that direction is not being in your room playing Xbox. Another key feature is to achieve things as an individual - don't get buried in the group.


My god, man. That is genius. Honestly.
That's going on my kid's bedroom wall.
 
2013-05-07 02:42:13 PM  
"Every Rose has it's Thorn", "Night Moves" and "Wish you were here" served me well enough. It works well on drunk chicks. Actually, the drunker the better. "OMG! I LOOOVE THAT SONG!"

It's not like it's some magical thing, it's an icebreaker to get their attention. It's the BOOZE that gets results. The guitar is just to catch their eye.
 
2013-05-07 02:43:09 PM  
Professional guitarist here, my family pays me not to play, and in my years of research done before I was married it's not just the instrument but also the related terminology. Being able to use lines that include words like F-holes, humbuckers and P coils in a sustained conversation can produce a lot of positive feedback and possibly lead to demonstrations of two finger triads.
 
2013-05-07 02:43:10 PM  

Jayone: So, what happens when I carry around my three guitars? And can actually play them.


that doesn't work. it ends up smacking of real effort. it's like the difference between a single quick prestidigitation and rolling out balls and hoops and white doves.
 
2013-05-07 02:44:15 PM  
Man, I can actually play guitar really good. It hasn't helped me one bit!
 
2013-05-07 02:45:11 PM  
It definitely works. My buddy plays gigs all around Orlando and while he's a relatively decent lookin guy, he's no Ryan Gosling 2.0. Kind of that grungy, my mom may still shop for me type appearance. He's smart and educated though.

That being said, he bagged a 9/10 in looks, 2/10 in lifestyle (29 and has 3 kids with different dudes). But he gets a lot of attention otherwise and he's not cheesy like some of those lame guys you see at coffee shops and stuff.
 
2013-05-07 02:47:54 PM  

LittleSmitty: "Every Rose has it's Thorn", "Night Moves" and "Wish you were here" served me well enough. It works well on drunk chicks. Actually, the drunker the better. "OMG! I LOOOVE THAT SONG!"

It's not like it's some magical thing, it's an icebreaker to get their attention. It's the BOOZE that gets results. The guitar is just to catch their eye.


Another good one:  Patience.
 
2013-05-07 02:48:16 PM  

Jayone: So, what happens when I carry around my three guitars? And can actually play them.


Depends.  Does you mean this?
i.imgur.com
Because That's probably only going to attract rednecks and burnouts.
 
2013-05-07 02:49:08 PM  
A '77 Telecaster with a Hi-A Bartolini mini-humbucker Firebird pickup in the neck postion got Ric Ocasek some...

www.thefablife.com
 
2013-05-07 02:49:24 PM  

XMark: Man, I can actually play guitar really good. It hasn't helped me one bit!


See, that's the problem:  You can go overboard.  Stuff to avoid playing:
Any Yngwie Malmsteen tune.
 
2013-05-07 02:50:55 PM  
What are your chances if you carry a rusty trombone in your pants?
 
2013-05-07 02:51:43 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: How about a soprano ukulele across your back? Does that improve or decrease your chances of getting laid?
I have a theory based on anecdotal evidence. It's not looking good.


I have a concert size in a covered hardcase
nothing so far
 
2013-05-07 02:52:04 PM  
What about the 'Vette?  Cause I have heard it on good authority that it makes women ready for coitus.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-07 02:53:01 PM  

studs up: [pizzabytheslice.com image 470x664]
didn't firkin work. What next?


That's a pocket ukulele
of course it didn't work
 
2013-05-07 02:53:21 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

'forget all about that macho shiat and learn how to play guitar'
 
2013-05-07 02:54:26 PM  
4/3(0)=0
 
2013-05-07 02:54:41 PM  

SoupJohnB: Works with a kid in a stroller, too.  Pro Tip?  Borrow one.


The kid or the stroller?
 
2013-05-07 02:56:35 PM  

nickerj1: AlwaysRightBoy: I've lent out some of my dogs to single friends but  I'll tell them about the odds with a guitar.

I had significant success with my dog.  You can immediately start talking to any girl in any situation if you have a dog with you.  It is socially acceptable.


People like dogs, and it shifts you from "creepy loner" to "guy who cares".

P.S. - It's ALWAYS a rescue dog - always.
 
2013-05-07 03:00:51 PM  
What if you have a guitar growing out of your head?

farm2.static.flickr.com
 
2013-05-07 03:01:17 PM  
I'll stick to writing. It may work out.

www.ssgmusic.com
 
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