Pocket Ninja: The most important element of this strategy -- and, truly, this cannot be emphasized enough -- is that once you've gone out and obtained the guitar that you're going to pretend to know how to play, you must develop some effortlessly authentic excuses as to why you cannot simply play on demand. This is more difficult than you might think. One strategy is to cut several of the strings...not all the way, mind you, but just enough that pressure upon them (the sort one might exert with a few "warm up" strums" will cause them to snap. "Damn, I left my replacement string at home." Practice saying that with a slow head shake, a disappointed lip curl. Be disgusted with yourself, and let her try to make you feel better.
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: In related news, scientists say that if you carry around an accordion, your chances of being stuffed in a locker increase by 50%.
Sybarite: This glockenspiel on the other hand has done NOTHING for me.
Some Bass Playing Guy: Unfortunately, I play bass, which has been proven to not get you laid. :)
Uzzah: FTFA: But this technique only works if your a manIf my a man what?
FrancoFile: Sybarite: This glockenspiel on the other hand has done NOTHING for me.Yep. I wish I'd never taken tympani lessons, either.
Accordion: As an accordionist I have gotten more women than as a guitarist. Chicks dig the accordion.
Pair-o-Dice: The gym bag was the worst because they knew he needed to be to the gym in 27 minutes.
SnakeLee: But this technique only works if your a man, women are not seen any more or less attractive if they carry a musical instrument.This study is clearly flawed.Anyways, I always feel like a douche playing even on my front steps. I bring it on vacations and stuff because I love playing and become incredibly guilty if I don't practice, but it sucks to play out in public because it draws so much attention. If you play in a park, on the beach, etc., most of the time people will come up and randomly try to give you a dollar which is super shiatty and annoying.
If you like these links, you'll love
The next best thing to UltraFark
Sign up for the Fark NotNewsletter!
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2018 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Jan 19 2018 03:02:48
Runtime: 0.371 sec (371 ms)