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(Huffington Post)   Man who agreed to threesome with homeless women miraculously gets blowjob before being stabbed, stuffed in trunk of his own car   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 64
    More: Fail, Ashlee Gurule, Jennifer McKee, New Mexico, Gurule, N.Y. Masters, Donald Brownlee, South Hampton, Dodge Avenger  
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12089 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2013 at 12:15 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



64 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-05-07 12:18:58 PM  
If Fark keeps allowing words like "blowjob" right on the main page like that, I'm going to have to find another site for my children to kill time on.
 
2013-05-07 12:19:37 PM  
He didn't get, he had to give.
http://www.fark.com/comments/5736322/64598156
or, is this not a repeat?
 
2013-05-07 12:20:29 PM  
 
2013-05-07 12:21:39 PM  
Well, did he finish?
 
2013-05-07 12:22:11 PM  

bugmn99: If Fark keeps allowing words like "blowjob" right on the main page like that, I'm going to have to find another site for my children to kill time on.


I guess that means TV isn't an alternative.
 
2013-05-07 12:23:25 PM  

TheGogmagog: He didn't get, he had to give.
http://www.fark.com/comments/5736322/64598156
or, is this not a repeat?


Oh my.
 
2013-05-07 12:24:43 PM  
Spice ... it's a hell of a drug.
 
2013-05-07 12:25:01 PM  
Terrible story, but the linked story below had me saying, "Dear God, WHY?":

Federal prosecutors say Ronald Robinson returned used enemas to a pharmacy in Jacksonville, Fla. The products were resold to customers before workers discovered they had been tampered with. Robinson could be imprisoned for 10 years if convicted.
 
2013-05-07 12:25:24 PM  
Well...I guess their cunning plan worked...they won't have to live on the streets any longer.
 
2013-05-07 12:25:37 PM  

darth_badger: Spice ... it's a hell of a drug.


He who controls the Spice controls the UNIVERSE.
 
2013-05-07 12:27:29 PM  
Doesn't matter, had sex
 
2013-05-07 12:28:29 PM  

bugmn99: If Fark keeps allowing words like "blowjob" right on the main page like that, I'm going to have to find another site for my children to kill time on.


Just explain that when a woman wants a man to think she loves him very much, she's willing to touch his naughty parts with her mouth, until she gets engaged or married.
 
2013-05-07 12:29:32 PM  

ficklefkrfark: Well, did he finish?


Brodie: Jesus *Christ*, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!

/was this what you were looking for?
 
2013-05-07 12:29:40 PM  

Mr Guy: bugmn99: If Fark keeps allowing words like "blowjob" right on the main page like that, I'm going to have to find another site for my children to kill time on.

Just explain that when a woman wants a man to think she loves him very much, she's willing to touch his naughty parts with her mouth, until she gets engaged or married.


...or stabby in this case.
 
2013-05-07 12:31:05 PM  

Abuse Liability: ficklefkrfark: Well, did he finish?

Brodie: Jesus *Christ*, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!

/was this what you were looking for?


Thanks, I just finished ;)
 
2013-05-07 12:32:06 PM  
It takes a special kind of guy to splay the legs of homeless women.
 
2013-05-07 12:32:27 PM  
also, I assume its necessary to post this within the thread
i.huffpost.com
My work here is done. I'll be back periodically to see how thing turn out
 
2013-05-07 12:32:29 PM  
That was dumb.  If you're a homeless chick who is not overweight and you're under the age of 25, it should be quite easy to get into high-class hooking and convince some married guy to buy you a car in exchange for sex and keeping quiet about it.
 
2013-05-07 12:34:13 PM  

Mr Guy: bugmn99: ***SNIP***... she's willing to touch his naughty parts with her mouth, until she gets engagged or married.


FTFY
 
2013-05-07 12:34:27 PM  
I do not see the irony in this story. I always do the deed with the prostitute before I hack her up and put her in my trunk. This seems to be along the same lines as male teacher/female student vs. female teacher/male student gender bias.
 
2013-05-07 12:34:45 PM  
1. Buy a stab prof suit
2. Bail out 3 amig-hos
3. Blowjob
4. Profit?
 
2013-05-07 12:35:51 PM  

Nabb1: Terrible story, but the linked story below had me saying, "Dear God, WHY?":

Federal prosecutors say Ronald Robinson returned used enemas to a pharmacy in Jacksonville, Fla. The products were resold to customers before workers discovered they had been tampered with. Robinson could be imprisoned for 10 years if convicted.


img.fark.net
 
2013-05-07 12:41:37 PM  
The one chick has extra nostrils
 
2013-05-07 12:42:09 PM  
So he came before he went or what?
 
2013-05-07 12:44:12 PM  
Yeah. I'd like to be stabbed too!
 
2013-05-07 12:48:54 PM  
Worth it.
 
2013-05-07 12:53:34 PM  

bugmn99: If Fark keeps allowing words like "blowjob" right on the main page like that, I'm going to have to find another site for my children to kill time on.


Maybe we could get a filter that changes it to the more genteel oral gratification
 
2013-05-07 12:54:34 PM  

Nabb1: Terrible story, but the linked story below had me saying, "Dear God, WHY?":

Federal prosecutors say Ronald Robinson returned used enemas to a pharmacy in Jacksonville, Fla. The products were resold to customers before workers discovered they had been tampered with. Robinson could be imprisoned for 10 years if convicted.


Do you have any idea how hard it is to find some place that will rent them?
 
2013-05-07 12:55:20 PM  
"they wanted to steal his car, because they were tired of living on the streets"

You know, you could each do this a few times for cash and then get yourself a car legit.

...or you could even get real jobs.
 
2013-05-07 12:55:37 PM  
So he was looking to get into a Tarantino film, eh?

i90.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-07 12:57:26 PM  

Shaggy_C: That was dumb.  If you're a homeless chick who is not overweight and you're under the age of 25, it should be quite easy to get into high-class hooking and convince some married guy to buy you a car in exchange for sex and keeping quiet about it.


Homeless + female + attractive = obviously too crazy for anyone to put up with. If she wasn't the stabby type she'd have already convinced some guy to support her.
 
2013-05-07 01:10:06 PM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Shaggy_C: That was dumb.  If you're a homeless chick who is not overweight and you're under the age of 25, it should be quite easy to get into high-class hooking and convince some married guy to buy you a car in exchange for sex and keeping quiet about it.

Homeless + female + attractive = obviously too crazy for anyone to put up with. If she wasn't the stabby type she'd have already convinced some guy to support her.


Was about to post this. Seriously these:
i.huffpost.com
are homeless? Stay away.
 
2013-05-07 01:13:37 PM  
Wait. Are we seriously not talking about the bad choice slide show on the same page that features used enema returning, naked manatee riding, violent pooping masturbators, and writers of "Rules 2 Da Game of Hoez"?
 
2013-05-07 01:14:09 PM  
How desperate do you have to be to do this? I can't even fathom such an emotional state.
 
2013-05-07 01:21:18 PM  
It seems odd that they couldn't have shacked up with some guy by trading some sex for shelter and food. My guess is that they are homosexual, mentally disturbed and narcotic abusers. Well they will now have food and shelter for the rest of their lives.
 
2013-05-07 01:24:58 PM  
Some people are just crazy. Jeez! I spent the last four years of my first marriage without having any sex whatsoever, and I still  never considered messing around with a homeless drifter.

I would think Sex Rule #1 is "Don't have sex with homeless drifters."
 
2013-05-07 01:27:26 PM  
They're all in jail? Well, shiat. There goes date night.


/lives in ABQ
 
2013-05-07 01:37:01 PM  
www.flashasylum.com
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
 
2013-05-07 01:41:44 PM  
I hear there's a guy in Cleveland who would give them a good home.
 
2013-05-07 01:44:17 PM  
Really im the first on this??

www.inquisitr.com
 
2013-05-07 01:51:39 PM  

ZeroCorpse: Some people are just crazy. Jeez! I spent the last four years of my first marriage without having any sex whatsoever, and I still  never considered messing around with a homeless drifter.

I would think Sex Rule #1 is "Don't have sex with homeless drifters."




Four years? I admire your determination or I am saddened by your lack of confidence. I think three months would be the outer limit for me before I would be filing for divorce and at two we would have been having a conversation as to the nature of the problem. Yeah I still wouldn't have sex with a homeless woman or pay for sex
 
2013-05-07 01:58:47 PM  

Profedius: ZeroCorpse: Some people are just crazy. Jeez! I spent the last four years of my first marriage without having any sex whatsoever, and I still  never considered messing around with a homeless drifter.

I would think Sex Rule #1 is "Don't have sex with homeless drifters."

Four years? I admire your determination or I am saddened by your lack of confidence. I think three months would be the outer limit for me before I would be filing for divorce and at two we would have been having a conversation as to the nature of the problem. Yeah I still wouldn't have sex with a homeless woman or pay for sex


what if you KNOW they are your SOUL MATE
 
2013-05-07 02:16:01 PM  

bugmn99: If Fark keeps allowing words like "blowjob" right on the main page like that, I'm going to have to find another site for my children to kill time on.


Doesn't sound like your cup of tea, but I would choose good parenting instead.
 
2013-05-07 02:17:17 PM  

bugmn99: If Fark keeps allowing words like "blowjob" right on the main page like that, I'm going to have to find another site for my children to kill time on.


LOL but seriously are there really people stupid enough to let their kids even know about this site?
 
2013-05-07 02:18:12 PM  
XMark:

Doesn't matter, had sex

Exactly. Too bad I ain't got nothing to steal.
 
2013-05-07 02:21:08 PM  
Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy:

Homeless + female + attractive = obviously too crazy for anyone to put
up with.


Not me! Spread the word around the shelter, okay?!?
 
2013-05-07 02:24:08 PM  
Profedius:

It seems odd that they couldn't have shacked up with some guy by trading some sex for shelter and food.

That might work with me, temporarily at least.


My guess is that they are homosexual, mentally disturbed and narcotic abusers. Well they will now have food and shelter for the rest of their lives.

And all the homosex partners they can handle.

Those people have all the luck.


/troll
 
2013-05-07 02:24:12 PM  

Cheron: Maybe we could get a filter


"Blerjerb"?

/terkourjerbs.jpg
 
2013-05-07 02:26:31 PM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net 

Whatever it takes to save the Earth. It gets granola girls all wet..homeless girls too. They'll do anything for shelter.
 
2013-05-07 02:33:31 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: bugmn99: If Fark keeps allowing words like "blowjob" right on the main page like that, I'm going to have to find another site for my children to kill time on.

LOL but seriously are there really people stupid enough to let their kids even know about this site?


My kids have been hearing about this site for nigh on ten years now. But because dad thinks its great I doubt they have ever even tried to type in the url.
 
2013-05-07 02:41:37 PM  

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: bugmn99: If Fark keeps allowing words like "blowjob" right on the main page like that, I'm going to have to find another site for my children to kill time on.

I guess that means TV isn't an alternative.


Maybe I missed something, but what PG rate programming has the word "blowjob" in it these days?

And I won't let my kids on here until they're like 16... not because of the headlines, but because of the trolls.
 
2013-05-07 03:22:03 PM  

cranked: Cheron: Maybe we could get a filter

"Blerjerb"?

/terkourjerbs.jpg


Ermahgerd, Blerjerbs!!
 
2013-05-07 03:43:59 PM  

Profedius: Four years? I admire your determination or I am saddened by your lack of confidence. I think three months would be the outer limit for me before I would be filing for divorce and at two we would have been having a conversation as to the nature of the problem. Yeah I still wouldn't have sex with a homeless woman or pay for sex


Call it a little of both, with a dash of financial need on both our parts. We were together 18 years, so at 14 years in I wasn't quite ready to just walk without waiting for some brighter days. Having conversations about the problem was a fruitless endeavor. We were basically roommates in the end. Eh... It's a very long, very unfortunate story that has a very happy ending because I'm with the love of my life now and living the life I'd always wanted to live.

And to my credit, I never paid for it, either.

Jon iz teh kewl: what if you KNOW they are your SOUL MATE


She wasn't. I think we both knew that going in. But I was young, and life just happened.

However, I don't discount the idea of soulmates. I'm certain I've reunited with mine. Sometimes you have to go through the unfortunate times to appreciate the good things when you finally get to them.

Anyway, yes--- Four years without human contact is a lot. It's why I do support legalized, regulated brothels. Now, I am happy (and having amazing and frequent sex, too) but a lot of people go a lot longer than four years. Some go their whole lives without knowing the touch of another person. Some people don't get dates. I think it's perfectly fine if people want to pay for it, but I think it should be in an environment that is controlled and safe. No indentured workers. No diseases. No drugs. No risk of clients attacking workers. The business actually pays taxes like any other.

I do believe that legalized, regulated brothels would be a public service. They'd let people know physical love when it was otherwise unlikely or impossible (Not just ugly people, but people with various physical disabilities, mental disabilities, and social anxieties. And not just men. Women, too.) They'd also bring in a LOT of tax money which we could use for something nice, like health care, better roads, or community upkeep.

I wouldn't use the services of such a place, but I think they should exist nonetheless.
 
2013-05-07 03:44:00 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: Profedius: ZeroCorpse: Some people are just crazy. Jeez! I spent the last four years of my first marriage without having any sex whatsoever, and I still  never considered messing around with a homeless drifter.

I would think Sex Rule #1 is "Don't have sex with homeless drifters."

Four years? I admire your determination or I am saddened by your lack of confidence. I think three months would be the outer limit for me before I would be filing for divorce and at two we would have been having a conversation as to the nature of the problem. Yeah I still wouldn't have sex with a homeless woman or pay for sex

what if you KNOW they are your SOUL MATE




Lack of daily sex would exclude them from the category of being my Soul Mate. Daily sex is not the only requirement and it can be even adjusted up to once a week at max. Sex is a big deal to me, because that is when I feel the love and closeness of a relationship without it I might as well be single.
 
2013-05-07 03:44:09 PM  

bugmn99: If Fark keeps allowing words like "blowjob" right on the main page like that, I'm going to have to find another site for my children to kill time on.


Fark isn't for kids.

Parenting...how does it work?
 
2013-05-07 03:45:21 PM  

Dirtybird971: Yeah. I'd like to be stabbed too!


It's all about clarity of communication when describing your preferences to a new sexual partner. You might think saying "I like to be penetrated by women" sounds sexier than laying out the specifics, but a lack of details might be the difference between a dildo and a knife.
 
2013-05-07 04:06:57 PM  

Profedius: Jon iz teh kewl: Profedius: ZeroCorpse: 
what if you KNOW they are your SOUL MATE

Lack of daily sex would exclude them from the category of being my Soul Mate. Daily sex is not the only requirement and it can be even adjusted up to once a week at max. Sex is a big deal to me, because that is when I feel the love and closeness of a relationship without it I might as well be single.


Agreed. I just took a little longer than I should have to finally leave. It's weird... After the first year you sink into a state of not caring. You're still frustrated, but you find ways to distract, and the days just go by until suddenly it has been another three years and you're just where you were four years ago.

When my best friend in the world came back to me after being apart for 20 years, I was snapped out of that state of mind and did what I needed to do. I just needed someone to remind me who I was.

And yes, feeling love and closeness in a physical way is important. Very important.
 
2013-05-07 04:10:24 PM  
Going in, I believed this to be a thread about two homeless hookers murdering a guy.

I'm not interested in scrolling up to see how Fark turned this into a serious discussion about soulmates.
 
2013-05-07 04:45:38 PM  

bugmn99: If Fark keeps allowing words like "blowjob" right on the main page like that, I'm going to have to find another site for my children to kill time on.


Your crotchlings should GTFO, this site has never been for "kids".

/RIP Foobies, RIP
//pours some out
 
2013-05-07 04:48:30 PM  
Walter Paisley
Dirtybird971: Yeah. I'd like to be stabbed too!

It's all about clarity of communication when describing your preferences to a new sexual partner. You might think saying "I like to be penetrated by women" sounds sexier than laying out the specifics, but a lack of details might be the difference between a dildo and a knife.


Good Point.
 
2013-05-07 06:23:34 PM  

bugmn99: If Fark keeps allowing words like "blowjob" right on the main page like that, I'm going to have to find another site for my children to kill time on.


Have they tried efukt? My kids love it.
 
2013-05-07 07:57:45 PM  

4NTLRZ: Mr Guy: bugmn99: ***SNIP***... she's willing to touch his naughty parts with her mouth, until she gets engagged or married.

FTFY


Was that really worth yout time and effort?
If so, for goodnes sakes, find a hobby because you have way too much time on your hands to do squat!
 
2013-05-07 09:07:17 PM  
irony...

should have DODGEd but instead got stuffed in his AVENGER. Stuff like this doesn't happen when you drive a Dodge Neon now really
 
2013-05-08 08:51:28 PM  
His problem was technique.  If three homeless girls offer you sex, insist that they start without you, and you'll join in later.  If they refuse, it's a set up.  If they agree, make sure they have plenty liquor to drink, which in this case is insurance.  Also be sure to have a few charged stun guns where you can get to them quickly.  They are on eBay for like $10, and they make great stocking stuffers.  Also robbing whore zappers.
 
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