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(The New York Times)   "I saw a guy in Brooklyn with a handlebar mustache, pierced ears, a fedora and jodhpurs--a collage of sartorial attempts to evade himself. Like he was interrupted shaving in the 1850s and had to dress quickly while being chased through a time tunnel"   (nytimes.com) divider line 145
    More: Obvious, pierced ears  
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12384 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2013 at 12:13 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-07 11:55:46 AM
Another good line: If you have a handlebar mustache, that is pretty much all you are. You are a delivery system for a handlebar mustache.

I hate them, too. They tend to fill me with rage.
 
2013-05-07 12:00:14 PM

Solkar: Another good line: If you have a handlebar mustache, that is pretty much all you are. You are a delivery system for a handlebar mustache.

I hate them, too. They tend to fill me with rage.


I don't mind the handlebar. Now, the chin strap, that one annoys me.
 
2013-05-07 12:04:45 PM
Actually, I'm a bit confused as to what is a 'handlebar' mustache. After doing a quick GIS search, I've found two examples:

A) www.drewweing.com B) 24.media.tumblr.com

I don't mind 'A,' and sometimes even find it attractive on certain guys. 'B' just looks ridiculous.
 
2013-05-07 12:15:28 PM
Repeat headline.
 
2013-05-07 12:15:56 PM

Cythraul: Actually, I'm a bit confused as to what is a 'handlebar' mustache. After doing a quick GIS search, I've found two examples:

A) [www.drewweing.com image 150x206] B) [24.media.tumblr.com image 206x206]

I don't mind 'A,' and sometimes even find it attractive on certain guys. 'B' just looks ridiculous.


A is a handle bar.  B is a desperate call for attention.
 
2013-05-07 12:17:45 PM
Nope. Not going to register for nytimes.com. Stop greenlighting these.
 
2013-05-07 12:18:36 PM

liam76: Cythraul: Actually, I'm a bit confused as to what is a 'handlebar' mustache. After doing a quick GIS search, I've found two examples:

A) [www.drewweing.com image 150x206] B) [24.media.tumblr.com image 206x206]

I don't mind 'A,' and sometimes even find it attractive on certain guys. 'B' just looks ridiculous.

A is a handle bar.  B is a desperate call for attention.


B deserves to be beaten with a shovel. A reminds me of one of the least hipster guys I ever knew, so he gets a pass.
 
2013-05-07 12:18:40 PM
A) is the Bluebottle coffee shop location in Rockefeller Center
B) is the Stumptown coffee shop location at 29th and Broadway
 
2013-05-07 12:19:45 PM
"The clerk helping me was a chubby fellow with a handlebar mustache. I have no patience for contemporary handlebar mustaches. They anger me. They look indulgent and ridiculous. If you have a handlebar mustache, that is pretty much all you are. You are a delivery system for a handlebar mustache. "

I suddenly really, really, really like this author.

img826.imageshack.us
Marc Maron

Wait....Marc with a "C". That makes me angry. It's like a linguistical attempt to evade one's self. It's, like, he is only a delivery system for the letter C.
 
2013-05-07 12:19:48 PM

Cythraul: Actually, I'm a bit confused as to what is a 'handlebar' mustache. After doing a quick GIS search, I've found two examples:

A) [www.drewweing.com image 150x206] B) [24.media.tumblr.com image 206x206]

I don't mind 'A,' and sometimes even find it attractive on certain guys. 'B' just looks ridiculous.


A is a porn star 'stache.
 
2013-05-07 12:20:07 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: liam76: Cythraul: Actually, I'm a bit confused as to what is a 'handlebar' mustache. After doing a quick GIS search, I've found two examples:

A) [www.drewweing.com image 150x206] B) [24.media.tumblr.com image 206x206]

I don't mind 'A,' and sometimes even find it attractive on certain guys. 'B' just looks ridiculous.

A is a handle bar.  B is a desperate call for attention.

B deserves to be beaten with a shovel. A reminds me of one of the least hipster guys I ever knew, so he gets a pass.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

Easy there, boyo.

/hot
 
2013-05-07 12:20:53 PM

Solkar: Another good line: If you have a handlebar mustache, that is pretty much all you are. You are a delivery system for a handlebar mustache.


Or possibly a relief pitcher.
 
2013-05-07 12:22:06 PM
There was one, count 'em, ONE man who could pull off the up-turned mustache.

Colonel Robin Olds, USAF

www.kunsan.af.mil

/yeah, yeah, yeah, he made Brigardier but he's always remembered as a Colonel because that's when he rocked the out-of-regs 'stache.
 
2013-05-07 12:22:58 PM

PapaChester: I suddenly really, really, really like this author.



www.jimpoz.com

I prefer the classics.
 
2013-05-07 12:23:06 PM

liam76: Cythraul: Actually, I'm a bit confused as to what is a 'handlebar' mustache. After doing a quick GIS search, I've found two examples:

A) [www.drewweing.com image 150x206] B) [24.media.tumblr.com image 206x206]

I don't mind 'A,' and sometimes even find it attractive on certain guys. 'B' just looks ridiculous.

A is a handle bar.  B is a desperate call for attention.


A is a horse-shoe bordering of Fu-manchu.  B, while agreed is a desperate call for attention or the desire to sing "A Bicycle Built For Two" is a handlebar.
 
2013-05-07 12:23:14 PM

liam76: Cythraul: Actually, I'm a bit confused as to what is a 'handlebar' mustache. After doing a quick GIS search, I've found two examples:

A) [www.drewweing.com image 150x206] B) [24.media.tumblr.com image 206x206]

I don't mind 'A,' and sometimes even find it attractive on certain guys. 'B' just looks ridiculous.

A is a handle bar.  B is a desperate call for attention.


If A is a handle bar what is a Fu Manchu

farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2013-05-07 12:23:39 PM
That says to me
"Hi, I'm overeducated, underemployed, and living off my parents' money"
 
2013-05-07 12:23:50 PM

Cythraul: Actually, I'm a bit confused as to what is a 'handlebar' mustache. After doing a quick GIS search, I've found two examples:

A) B)

I don't mind 'A,' and sometimes even find it attractive on certain guys. 'B' just looks ridiculous.


I occasionally sport an A, but anyone that has a B is usually an insufferable piece of garbage.
 
2013-05-07 12:24:46 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

Detects your sarcasm and bitterness.

\He's not a Frenchie.
\\He's a Belgie.
 
2013-05-07 12:25:43 PM
This thread about pants is now a mustache thread.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-07 12:26:13 PM

Solkar: Another good line: If you have a handlebar mustache, that is pretty much all you are. You are a delivery system for a handlebar mustache.

I hate them, too. They tend to fill me with rage.


Just like how zack galafinakis is just a beard. He would have no career if he shaved.
 
2013-05-07 12:26:43 PM
In case anyone has not seen this gem: artisinal pencil sharpening.  Yes, it is satire, but it is delicious.
 
2013-05-07 12:27:19 PM
Sounds like someone that doesn't actually work, at all.

Jeans need to be washed on occasion.  Mud, dirt, oil (cooking or motor), sawdust, manure, soda, beer, etc.

Throwing them in the freezer, or soaking in a tub with them on, not gonna cut it for cleaning them.
 
2013-05-07 12:28:28 PM
Salvador Dali also rocked the upturned handlebar stache.
 
2013-05-07 12:28:58 PM

darth_badger: Cythraul: Actually, I'm a bit confused as to what is a 'handlebar' mustache. After doing a quick GIS search, I've found two examples:

A) [www.drewweing.com image 150x206] B) [24.media.tumblr.com image 206x206]

I don't mind 'A,' and sometimes even find it attractive on certain guys. 'B' just looks ridiculous.

A is a porn star 'stache.


Nah. A porn stache is like what Geraldo and John Stossel has (or had).
 
2013-05-07 12:29:29 PM
He's done himself and the world a disservice by not finishing up the ritual and finding out if it works or half-works or if the guy he was talking to is functionally retarded.
 
2013-05-07 12:29:36 PM
Some guys can successfully rock the handlebar. My grandad used to wax the tips of his mustache in an artful fashion, and in Montana that might generally have been regarded as foppish in his day. But then, my grandad was also a tailgunner on a B-17 and a blacksmith who once threatened to cut an irritating co-worker's head off with a coal shovel, so I suspect he didn't get too much grief.
 
2013-05-07 12:29:50 PM

LazarusLong42: Salvador Dali also rocked the upturned handlebar stache.


Indeed

www.plastic-society.com
 
2013-05-07 12:30:18 PM

assjuice: Solkar: Another good line: If you have a handlebar mustache, that is pretty much all you are. You are a delivery system for a handlebar mustache.

I hate them, too. They tend to fill me with rage.

Just like how zack galafinakis is just a beard. He would have no career if he shaved.


I didn't even know he was married to a gay man, but it makes a ton of sense.
 
2013-05-07 12:30:22 PM
First thing I think of when I see someone else with one:

bestplayerintheworld.com
 
2013-05-07 12:31:05 PM
www.ciao.ro

OH HAI GUYS! WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS THREAD?
 
2013-05-07 12:31:38 PM

Tom_Slick: If A is a handle bar what is a Fu Manchu


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-05-07 12:32:16 PM

meat0918: Sounds like someone that doesn't actually work, at all.

Jeans need to be washed on occasion.  Mud, dirt, oil (cooking or motor), sawdust, manure, soda, beer, etc.

Throwing them in the freezer, or soaking in a tub with them on, not gonna cut it for cleaning them.


People do the tub soaking thing? Wearing wet jeans is just below wet socks in the top five of uncomfortable clothing. I can't fathom just chilling in a tub wearing a pair of jeans.
 
2013-05-07 12:33:34 PM

bearcats1983: meat0918: Sounds like someone that doesn't actually work, at all.

Jeans need to be washed on occasion.  Mud, dirt, oil (cooking or motor), sawdust, manure, soda, beer, etc.

Throwing them in the freezer, or soaking in a tub with them on, not gonna cut it for cleaning them.

People do the tub soaking thing? Wearing wet jeans is just below wet socks in the top five of uncomfortable clothing. I can't fathom just chilling in a tub wearing a pair of jeans.


Wrong thread count.
 
2013-05-07 12:35:42 PM
i43.tinypic.com
 
2013-05-07 12:36:16 PM

valkore: In case anyone has not seen this gem: artisinal pencil sharpening.  Yes, it is satire, but it is delicious.


Satire?  He's made over $10,000 in less than a year.
 
2013-05-07 12:37:09 PM
Mustaches are now associated with Hipsterites, such as found in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

l-userpic.livejournal.com
 
2013-05-07 12:37:32 PM
I actually enjoyed that article until I realized it was written by Marc Maron. Then I heard the whole article in my head in his whiny voice. Anyhow, the couple lines mentioned were gems; but really...getting wound up about other people's facial hair is just pathetic. I can't help but think people who get angry at those guys are really just angry because those guys are younger, more virile, better looking, and/or get more action than they do, despite their ridiculous moustaches.
 
2013-05-07 12:37:58 PM
t1.gstatic.com

It looks like he just grew his nose hair REALLY long.
 
2013-05-07 12:42:20 PM
I actually had a handlebar for two days, about 18 years ago.  Mostly as a joke.  I had a goatee and decided to shave it off; I had just done the chin and thought to myself "what if I stopped here?"  It was a fun conversation piece but didn't look, you know, good.  Plus I was hoping one day to be gainfully employed.
 
2013-05-07 12:42:27 PM
Another good line: If you have a handlebar mustache, that is pretty much all you are. You are a delivery system for a handlebar mustache.

I hate them, too. They tend to fill me with rage.
Just a goddammed second. I have a nice full handlebar mustache. It looks awesome, whether I'm in the office in old fashioned western wear, onboard ship in coveralls, or while mounted wearing a top hat while foxhunting. Women especially adore the look, constantly wanting pictures with me.You haters are are just testoserone deprived metrosexuals who just can't grow a decent 'stache./with great 'stache come great panache//I *might* let you touch it at the next Philly Phark
 
2013-05-07 12:43:07 PM
I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand walkin' through the streets of Soho in the rain.
 
2013-05-07 12:43:53 PM
www.old-picture.com
 
2013-05-07 12:44:10 PM

NorCalLos: I can't help but think people who get angry at those guys are really just angry because those guys are younger, more virile, better looking, and/or get more action than they do, despite their ridiculous moustaches.


I don't see these types of hipsters as particularly virile, good looking, or getting a lot of action.  And while they might be younger, they are certainly wasting that youth on their stupid bullshiat.  "I'm 23, in relatively good health, and have the opportunity to pursue whatever I choose.  So I choose to slouch in a bar stool drinking a Pabst and making references to esoteric nonsense to make myself feel unique and part of an exclusive crowd.  And a I have a stupid moustache to boot."
 
2013-05-07 12:46:04 PM
Know who else had a ridiculous moustache?
 
2013-05-07 12:47:51 PM

valkore: NorCalLos: I can't help but think people who get angry at those guys are really just angry because those guys are younger, more virile, better looking, and/or get more action than they do, despite their ridiculous moustaches.

I don't see these types of hipsters as particularly virile, good looking, or getting a lot of action.  And while they might be younger, they are certainly wasting that youth on their stupid bullshiat.  "I'm 23, in relatively good health, and have the opportunity to pursue whatever I choose.  So I choose to slouch in a bar stool drinking a Pabst and making references to esoteric nonsense to make myself feel unique and part of an exclusive crowd.  And a I have a stupid moustache to boot."


I don't think you know how youth works.
 
2013-05-07 12:48:23 PM
Who soaks jeans anymore? Let alone ADULTS.
 
2013-05-07 12:48:28 PM
A ruse? Brrring, brrring. Hello. Hi, it's the 1930's. Can we have our words and clothes and shiatty airplane back?

splitsider.com
 
2013-05-07 12:49:18 PM
first world problem much?  Who cares
 
2013-05-07 12:50:24 PM
Solkar: Another good line: If you have a handlebar mustache, that is pretty much all you are. You are a delivery system for a handlebar mustache.

I hate them, too. They tend to fill me with rage.


Your rage fills me with mirth.
 
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