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(ThePostGame)   Terrell Owens could be a pro bowler this year. No, seriously   (thepostgame.com) divider line 41
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2754 clicks; posted to Sports » on 07 May 2013 at 9:31 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-07 07:48:05 AM
Not with those scores.
 
2013-05-07 07:50:44 AM
never happen.  he doesn't like letting go of the ball.
 
2013-05-07 07:55:56 AM
There's a big difference between bowling in the USBC Open Championships (Nationals) and bowling as a professional. Nationals is the official tournament put on by the USBC which is the largest AMATEUR sanctioning body for bowling in the US. There is a lot of crossover and partnering between the USBC and PBA, but Nationals is strictly an amateur tournament.

/bowled in it two days prior to T.O. and scored about the same
//UGH!
 
2013-05-07 08:00:05 AM
Plus, he is the celebrity owner in this new "PBA League" they are starting up, with city names to the teams, even if they aren't really playing "home" games.   I don't know if that means he always plays, maybe he plays along but his scores don't count.
 
2013-05-07 08:14:57 AM
he might make it to the Super Bowl?

www.pfalleraia.com
 
2013-05-07 09:53:30 AM

Incorrigible Astronaut: Not with those scores.


This. Those scores aren't even rolling scratch. That's handicap beer league.
 
2013-05-07 09:54:35 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-07 09:57:53 AM
But the real question we all want to know is...did TO put his head in the Ball-O Shine-O?
 
2013-05-07 10:35:33 AM
129? IS that all it takes to be a Pro? Fark I can do that.
 
2013-05-07 10:37:52 AM
With all that child support he's gonna have to figure something out. But I thought most pro bowlers really didn't make much money (maybe sponsorships make it worthwhile?). Fishing seems like a better pro gig. I'm amazed at how much the top Bass Masters guys make. Plus it's easy on the joints.
 
2013-05-07 10:48:41 AM
Didn't even break a 500 series? I know the lanes can be tough at the USBC Championships, at least in Reno (they don't oil the lanes at all during the day even though there are sesssions going on from like 8am to midnight) but yeesh. Plus, the guys in the video said he was on 4 strikes at the time (during what I can only assume was his first game), and if you throw four in a row in a game and don't break 200 your spare shooting must suck.

Dude ain't "going pro" anytime soon.
 
2013-05-07 10:49:52 AM

iamskibibitz: With all that child support he's gonna have to figure something out. But I thought most pro bowlers really didn't make much money (maybe sponsorships make it worthwhile?). Fishing seems like a better pro gig. I'm amazed at how much the top Bass Masters guys make. Plus it's easy on the joints.


My brother roomed with a guy who paid his way through college by fishing bass tournaments. I went to visit a few years ago and there was a giant, shiny bass boat hooked up to a rusted Ford Bronco parked in front of a falling over rental house. Not sure if the guy ever made the pro tour (if that's a thing), but my brother said he graduated with almost no debt.
 
2013-05-07 10:56:27 AM

abhorrent1: 129? IS that all it takes to be a Pro? Fark I can do that.


i got a 700 once.

i'll kick your ass
 
2013-05-07 10:57:24 AM
The pros bowl entirely different oil patterns that are WAAAAAAY more difficult than a USBC Open tournament and they also use pins that are about a pound heavier than amateur pins....TO ain't going pro bowling anytime soon....

/seriously, just like any "pro" whatever, there are only a few people in the world good enough to make a living as a bowler
//kinda hungover and pissed off this moring because I (along with the rest of my team) was about 10-12 pins below our average last night which dropped us out of the money for our league
 
2013-05-07 11:07:15 AM

chevydeuce: The pros bowl entirely different oil patterns that are WAAAAAAY more difficult than a USBC Open tournament and they also use pins that are about a pound heavier than amateur pins....TO ain't going pro bowling anytime soon....

/seriously, just like any "pro" whatever, there are only a few people in the world good enough to make a living as a bowler
//kinda hungover and pissed off this moring because I (along with the rest of my team) was about 10-12 pins below our average last night which dropped us out of the money for our league


I was not aware of that.

Learning? On my Fark? That is unpossible!
 
2013-05-07 11:20:16 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: abhorrent1: 129? IS that all it takes to be a Pro? Fark I can do that.

i got a 700 once.

i'll kick your ass


No one asked about the women you've picked up, we're talking about bowling.
 
2013-05-07 11:22:27 AM
He's got time and money.  Just like golf that's all you need to make the pros as it's 99.9999999% repetition and muscle memory.

Now being a "pro" and being a champion or even a money making pro are quite different and that is where the talent come in.  But just to make and then bowl in PBA events or play Thursday/Friday in the PGA just takes lots of time to practice.
 
2013-05-07 11:29:46 AM

DoBeDoBeDo: He's got time and money.  Just like golf that's all you need to make the pros as it's 99.9999999% repetition and muscle memory.

Now being a "pro" and being a champion or even a money making pro are quite different and that is where the talent come in.  But just to make and then bowl in PBA events or play Thursday/Friday in the PGA just takes lots of time to practice.


Money is one thing TO is pretty short on actually.
 
2013-05-07 11:30:54 AM

chevydeuce: The pros bowl entirely different oil patterns that are WAAAAAAY more difficult than a USBC Open tournament and they also use pins that are about a pound heavier than amateur pins....TO ain't going pro bowling anytime soon....

/seriously, just like any "pro" whatever, there are only a few people in the world good enough to make a living as a bowler
//kinda hungover and pissed off this moring because I (along with the rest of my team) was about 10-12 pins below our average last night which dropped us out of the money for our league


To correct you, the USBC Open pattern is difficult for low-amateurs.  They will average around what Owens shot.  It is difficult for high-amateurs, like myself, who will average anywhere from 190-215 on it, depending on how good of a day one is having.  It is difficult for pros, who will average anywhere from 205-235 on it, again depending on their day.  Comparing it to the patterns the touring pros bowl on in regular tournaments (outside of the US Open, which is just a beast), the USBC Open pattern is similar.  In other words, they are all difficult to an amateur, and hittable to the pros.  Just like any sport, the pros are sooooo much better than the rest of us it's impossible to truly imagine.

And btw, most houses use pins ranging from 3 lbs, 4 oz to 3 lbs, 6 oz.  The pins they use in pro tournaments don't vary too far from that...3 lbs, 10 oz is the heaviest they get.  4 lb pins aren't manufactured.  The difference in weight is enough to affect carry in small ways, however.  Just thought I'd clarify that for you.

Cheers!
 
2013-05-07 11:45:59 AM
What are these oil patterns you are talking about, do they do something weird like only stripe a 4" wide strip down the alley or something?

/And what happens when it hits the anus?
 
2013-05-07 11:46:38 AM

Cubs300: chevydeuce: The pros bowl entirely different oil patterns that are WAAAAAAY more difficult than a USBC Open tournament and they also use pins that are about a pound heavier than amateur pins....TO ain't going pro bowling anytime soon....

/seriously, just like any "pro" whatever, there are only a few people in the world good enough to make a living as a bowler
//kinda hungover and pissed off this moring because I (along with the rest of my team) was about 10-12 pins below our average last night which dropped us out of the money for our league

To correct you, the USBC Open pattern is difficult for low-amateurs.  They will average around what Owens shot.  It is difficult for high-amateurs, like myself, who will average anywhere from 190-215 on it, depending on how good of a day one is having.  It is difficult for pros, who will average anywhere from 205-235 on it, again depending on their day.  Comparing it to the patterns the touring pros bowl on in regular tournaments (outside of the US Open, which is just a beast), the USBC Open pattern is similar.  In other words, they are all difficult to an amateur, and hittable to the pros.  Just like any sport, the pros are sooooo much better than the rest of us it's impossible to truly imagine.

And btw, most houses use pins ranging from 3 lbs, 4 oz to 3 lbs, 6 oz.  The pins they use in pro tournaments don't vary too far from that...3 lbs, 10 oz is the heaviest they get.  4 lb pins aren't manufactured.  The difference in weight is enough to affect carry in small ways, however.  Just thought I'd clarify that for you.

Cheers!


Yeah, I didn't remember the exact numbers about the pin weights and then I think I also had those gold pins that the PBA used for a while a few years ago, that were heavier (but not a lot) in mind....and yeah, I hear you on the oil patterns, I bowled a PBA Experience league last year, 16 weeks, with a new pattern every three weeks and then different patterns on different lanes the last week (including the Walter Ray)....fark me...completely and insanely different than the "house" shot....
 
2013-05-07 11:50:04 AM

my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food: What are these oil patterns you are talking about, do they do something weird like only stripe a 4" wide strip down the alley or something?

/And what happens when it hits the anus?


Different oil patterns on the lanes depending on lane conditions (or just however masochistic the lane maintenance team is feeling)....they move the oil around (heavy outside, light inside or vice versa, long oil or short oil, bunch of different things)


http://www.pba.com/OilPatterns/
 
2013-05-07 11:58:59 AM
He doesn't throw it too badly, but as it's been pointed out there's no way he's going to be a pro anytime soon. Also there's no way he will last long in a house league if he gives 4 lanes each way before he bowls.
 
2013-05-07 11:59:47 AM

iamskibibitz: With all that child support he's gonna have to figure something out. But I thought most pro bowlers really didn't make much money (maybe sponsorships make it worthwhile?). Fishing seems like a better pro gig. I'm amazed at how much the top Bass Masters guys make. Plus it's easy on the joints.


I don't see how you get that. Night fishing can last for hours - I can go through like three joints in one night.
 
2013-05-07 12:05:55 PM

chevydeuce: my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food: What are these oil patterns you are talking about, do they do something weird like only stripe a 4" wide strip down the alley or something?

/And what happens when it hits the anus?

Different oil patterns on the lanes depending on lane conditions (or just however masochistic the lane maintenance team is feeling)....they move the oil around (heavy outside, light inside or vice versa, long oil or short oil, bunch of different things)


http://www.pba.com/OilPatterns/


<no snark>
There's just no way I could have imagined coming across this information other than Fark. I would have never imagined there was anything even mildly complicated about PBA. Fascinating.
</no snark>
 
2013-05-07 12:06:14 PM

chevydeuce: I bowled a PBA Experience league last year, 16 weeks, with a new pattern every three weeks and then different patterns on different lanes the last week


They vary the patterns by LANE, too? Holy crap that's just masochistic. It's hard enough changing lanes in a tournament setting as it is. 

One note on the PBA patterns: I believe that the tour will actually inform the bowlers which pattern they are putting out (someone please correct me if I'm wrong). That makes it a  little easier on them since they can prepare for it mentally and have equipment drilled to fit the pattern (instead of having to figure out what sort of oil is down like everyone else in the world).

Definitely not downplaying the difficulty in the pros, though: even if you know what you're rolling on it can still be incredibly difficult to adjust to how those patterns will break down, to say nothing of the fact that, oh yeah, you're also competing in an environment where one missed spare can cost you 10 places. They've got consistency that I could never DREAM of.

/Strike 12 in my 300 was Brooklyn.
 
2013-05-07 12:09:59 PM

chevydeuce: my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food: What are these oil patterns you are talking about, do they do something weird like only stripe a 4" wide strip down the alley or something?

/And what happens when it hits the anus?

Different oil patterns on the lanes depending on lane conditions (or just however masochistic the lane maintenance team is feeling)....they move the oil around (heavy outside, light inside or vice versa, long oil or short oil, bunch of different things)


http://www.pba.com/OilPatterns/


First off, thank you for the link and explanation.

Second off, WOW, some of the oil descriptions the PBA uses in that link are PRICELESS, for example, here is an exerpt from the "Cheetah" pattern:

"A cheetah may look harmless, but this speedster has a dangerous side. So does this pattern - with a fast scoring pace and play near the gutter, there's no room for error."

I was going to make a joke about choosing between an argyle or plaid pattern for my next PBA match, but holy hell if they didn't take my line of thought and turn it up to eleven.
 
2013-05-07 12:16:15 PM

my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food: Second off, WOW, some of the oil descriptions the PBA uses in that link are PRICELESS, for example, here is an exerpt from the "Cheetah" pattern:

"A cheetah may look harmless, but this speedster has a dangerous side. So does this pattern - with a fast scoring pace and play near the gutter, there's no room for error."

I was going to make a joke about choosing between an argyle or plaid pattern for my next PBA match, but holy hell if they didn't take my line of thought and turn it up to eleven.


Yeah, to be honest when I first heard about them naming the oil patterns and actually using it in marketing for events (This week: the SCORPION!! duh duh duhhhh) it really kind of just made me shake my head like when Japan comes out with another rape simulator.

Just call it a "long and heavy pattern" and be done with it.

/giggity
 
2013-05-07 12:20:36 PM

JayCab: chevydeuce: I bowled a PBA Experience league last year, 16 weeks, with a new pattern every three weeks and then different patterns on different lanes the last week

They vary the patterns by LANE, too? Holy crap that's just masochistic. It's hard enough changing lanes in a tournament setting as it is.

One note on the PBA patterns: I believe that the tour will actually inform the bowlers which pattern they are putting out (someone please correct me if I'm wrong). That makes it a  little easier on them since they can prepare for it mentally and have equipment drilled to fit the pattern (instead of having to figure out what sort of oil is down like everyone else in the world).

Definitely not downplaying the difficulty in the pros, though: even if you know what you're rolling on it can still be incredibly difficult to adjust to how those patterns will break down, to say nothing of the fact that, oh yeah, you're also competing in an environment where one missed spare can cost you 10 places. They've got consistency that I could never DREAM of.

/Strike 12 in my 300 was Brooklyn.


They only did that on the last night of the league...they would let us shoot one pattern for three weeks, then change it to something else for another three weeks and so on (we did five patterns total over 15 weeks).  the last night, they did different patterns on successive sets of lanes and then added in the Walter Ray also.  Luckily it wasn't a money league, just a chance to try our luck at something other than the house shot.

/haven't had a 300 yet....I'm a 190 avg, with three 279's and funny enough they were all solid "shoulda been a strike but came up 9-spares" in the middle of the respective games
 
2013-05-07 12:22:12 PM
JayCab:
One note on the PBA patterns: I believe that the tour will actually inform the bowlers which pattern they are putting out (someone please correct me if I'm wrong). That makes it a  little easier on them since they can prepare for it mentally and have equipment drilled to fit the pattern (instead of having to figure out what sort of oil is down like everyone else in the world).

Yes, they know in advance. One of the tournaments is named after a pattern, the WSOB Chameleon Open. It doesn't help them as much as you would think, first because they bowl a pro-am before the tournament starts, and the pros are all feeling out the shot during that. Second, they bowl so many games (up to 45 IIRC) and the lanes break down so quickly during the tournament, that just knowing what the shot is supposed to do sometimes isn't even close to what they are actually doing.
 
2013-05-07 02:37:34 PM
Wow, I completely missed the pun initially.  Well done, subby.
 
2013-05-07 02:45:45 PM
Terrell Owens might start acting like a professional? Where's the Unlikely tag?
 
2013-05-07 02:54:25 PM

ManateeGag: never happen.  he doesn't like letting go of the ball.


+10, I lol'ed
 
2013-05-07 03:32:33 PM

lacrossestar83: Wow, I completely missed the pun initially.  Well done, subby.


Me too. It didn't hit me for a while.
 
2013-05-07 03:41:53 PM
This guy was actually able to play his position in the NFL successfully for several years. Why are people not crying that a team hasn't picked him up like the Tebow FaithfulTM have for their never-was?

/I know
//Just thought I'd threadshiat.
 
2013-05-07 04:39:27 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: he might make it to the Super Bowl?

[www.pfalleraia.com image 450x600]


So did you Google that, or were you watching me bowl last night?

/that's where I bowl, Monday nights
//I'm a better bowler than TO, so there's that going for me
 
2013-05-07 05:31:19 PM

GreatGlavinsGhost: This guy was actually able to play his position in the NFL successfully for several years. Why are people not crying that a team hasn't picked him up like the Tebow FaithfulTM have for their never-was?

/I know
//Just thought I'd threadshiat.


We get it.  He's Christian.
 
2013-05-07 06:54:02 PM
Terrell Owens could be a pro bowler this year. No, seriously

Well that's, like, your opinion, man.

/this far into the thread?
 
2013-05-07 08:01:31 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: i got a 700 once.

i'll kick your ass


I shot 11 in one season and had 13 over two seasons. I have 15 total(which ain't shiat really). Had back to back 700's in a City Tournment the last year I bowled and have 7 City Championships to my credit. Averaged 210 for two straight years on lanes that have never given up an 800 series and only had 5 300's bowled on them in 20 years. Then I quit bowling because I would of had to put up with my ex-wife every week and it wasn't worth it. 783 was my best series and the 3rd highest ever bowled in St Augustine. I've even bowled a couple of Southeastern Regionals as well, and I struggled just to shoot 600. Becoming a pro bowler is a lot tougher than anyone could ever imagine. Especially TO.
 
2013-05-07 09:55:23 PM

sephjnr: Terrell Owens could be a pro bowler this year. No, seriously

Well that's, like, your opinion, man.

/this far into the thread?


+100

I can't stop lawling.
 
2013-05-07 10:05:23 PM
Got nuthin. 
So here's this.

bp0.blogger.com
 
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