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(KSDK St. Louis)   Man invents bulletproof athletic cup, with a product name that is entirely expected (Warning for auto-play video)   (ksdk.com) divider line 89
    More: Hero, Jeremiah Raber, martial artists  
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14272 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2013 at 6:52 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-06 04:59:06 PM
 
2013-05-06 05:03:27 PM

Gecko Gingrich: Possibly NSFW


I think we're done here.
 
2013-05-06 05:23:52 PM

Gecko Gingrich: Possibly NSFW


That's the first thing I thought of too. And that guy has a nice ass. Nice everything, really.
 
2013-05-06 05:58:49 PM
I was expecting the product name to be "The Cock Blocker".

/disappointed
 
2013-05-06 06:06:38 PM
Nevermind that if a bullet hit it, it would ricochet and take out your femoral artery

/you can use the strap as a tourniquet
 
2013-05-06 06:48:23 PM

Honest Bender: Gecko Gingrich: Possibly NSFW

I think we're done here.


Yep.
 
2013-05-06 06:53:38 PM

Gecko Gingrich: Possibly NSFW


Done in one
 
2013-05-06 06:55:43 PM
www.explosm.net
 
2013-05-06 06:56:35 PM

Gecko Gingrich: Possibly NSFW


I like that, instead of posting a picture of the cup, you post a picture of some guy's ass.
 
2013-05-06 06:57:40 PM
Well, not some random guy's ass, you know what I meant.

3.bp.blogspot.com

/you're gonna feel a little pinch
 
2013-05-06 06:58:25 PM
we should create an entire line of 3D printed body armor
 
2013-05-06 06:58:28 PM
Hero tag is for subby, warning us of auto-play video (which means I won't be clicking, but still).
 
2013-05-06 06:58:58 PM
You don't shoot people in the dick!

southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
 
2013-05-06 06:59:23 PM

puffy999: Gecko Gingrich: Possibly NSFW

I like that, instead of posting a picture of the cup, you post a picture of some guy's ass.


The only picture of the cup I could find wouldn't allow hotlinking (it wouldn't even save to my photobucket account), and besides, the one I did post had a nice ass (as was pointed out above).
 
2013-05-06 06:59:35 PM
Come again ?

Now *that's* a marketing-driven product name.
 
2013-05-06 07:00:27 PM

Gecko Gingrich: Possibly NSFW


GreenSun: You don't shoot people in the dick!

[southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com image 792x612]


Shrapnel: [www.explosm.net image 720x415]


Damn, those were the three I came for.

Job is done here.
 
2013-05-06 07:02:02 PM

Honest Bender: Gecko Gingrich: Possibly NSFW

I think we're done here.


Dammit, came to make the reference and sad to find myself beaten to the punch in the boobies. (Take that filter! I automatically typed boobies!)
 
2013-05-06 07:03:18 PM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: I was expecting the product name to be "The Cock Blocker".

/disappointed


I was thinking balls of steel but I like yours better.
 
2013-05-06 07:03:28 PM
radio-weblogs.com

Did he submit it to military redundancy department.
 
2013-05-06 07:06:46 PM
I've never understood the shape of cups. I haven't worn one, but I just get how they get narrower toward the bottom. Anyhow, I guess it's good to protect your body in a war zone, and I get that that area is much less reparable than your legs, for example, but it seems like the ideal would be having your face, head, chest, abdomen, and back protected in the same way as well. I guess it's better than nothing.
 
2013-05-06 07:07:44 PM
It's called Armored Nutshellz for those who want to avoid autoplayed crap.
 
2013-05-06 07:08:39 PM
for some reason it instantly reminded me of this
 
2013-05-06 07:08:47 PM
Reminds me of the Simpsons when Bart let Millhouse kick him in the balls.
 
2013-05-06 07:09:08 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Nevermind that if a bullet hit it, it would ricochet and take out your femoral artery

/you can use the strap as a tourniquet


"The cup is designed to swallow the round, not deflect it. This is very important because if a bullet slid off the cup, it would likely go into the thigh and hit the femeral artery causing a bleed out. "

http://armorednutshellz.com/ballistic-test-videos/

An cup that swallows.
 
2013-05-06 07:09:14 PM

Cythraul: Gecko Gingrich: Possibly NSFW

That's the first thing I thought of too. And that guy has a nice ass. Nice everything, really.


This.

I have never had the urge to bite someone's butt before...but, well now here we are.

/nom
 
2013-05-06 07:09:21 PM

Cythraul: Gecko Gingrich: Possibly NSFW

That's the first thing I thought of too. And that guy has a nice ass. Nice everything, really.



You gay guys and your mustaches. ;)
 
2013-05-06 07:14:30 PM

puffy999: Well, not some random guy's ass, you know what I meant.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x583]

/you're gonna feel a little pinch


You're a sick mother farker, puffy999.
 
2013-05-06 07:14:41 PM

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Reminds me of the Simpsons when Bart let Millhouse kick him in the balls.


Here ya go
 
2013-05-06 07:15:37 PM
Dyneema is some seriously tough stuff. I have cut-resistant gloves made out of it. Apart from being uncomfortably warm, they're really awesome. I'm pretty sure I could stick my hand in a container of razorblades and come out unscathed.

And it's nice to see people have put some serious thought and science into protecting gentlemen's gentleman bits. I expect there are many military wives happily investing in such items not just for their menfolk's sake, but in an "I don't take your toys to a war zone unprotected, now put this on!" sort of way.
 
2013-05-06 07:16:17 PM

sure haven't: Hero tag is for subby, warning us of auto-play video (which means I won't be clicking, but still).


I know, right?  +1 subby.
 
2013-05-06 07:17:28 PM
125 dollars, which means the defense department will pay $10,000 apiece.
 
2013-05-06 07:18:24 PM
Normally a story like this would end with the inventor putting on a spandex outfit and turning to a life of crime as the dastardly Iron Nut, daring Spider-Man to stop him.
 
2013-05-06 07:26:31 PM
I was hoping for the name "Lord Stanley's Cup".
 
2013-05-06 07:27:09 PM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: I was expecting the product name to be "The Cock Blocker".

/disappointed


Me too.

/just as disappointed
 
2013-05-06 07:28:10 PM
I wonder who's going to be brave enough to wear that cup and have someone aim for his penis.
 
2013-05-06 07:31:15 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-06 07:32:05 PM

Satanic_Hamster: puffy999: Well, not some random guy's ass, you know what I meant.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x583]

/you're gonna feel a little pinch

You're a sick mother farker, puffy999.


Back in my day, we used BLANKS!
 
2013-05-06 07:36:26 PM

SpiderQueenDemon: Dyneema is some seriously tough stuff. I have cut-resistant gloves made out of it. Apart from being uncomfortably warm, they're really awesome. I'm pretty sure I could stick my hand in a container of razorblades and come out unscathed.

And it's nice to see people have put some serious thought and science into protecting gentlemen's gentleman bits. I expect there are many military wives happily investing in such items not just for their menfolk's sake, but in an "I don't take your toys to a war zone unprotected, now put this on!" sort of way.


Just have your man bank some sperm before going to the warzone.

I wouldn't mind raising one kid of yours after I marry your widow. Just my way of thanking you for your service.
 
2013-05-06 07:40:32 PM
www.lizziesue.com

Approves
 
2013-05-06 07:40:43 PM

BarkingUnicorn: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Nevermind that if a bullet hit it, it would ricochet and take out your femoral artery

/you can use the strap as a tourniquet

"The cup is designed to swallow the round, not deflect it. This is very important because if a bullet slid off the cup, it would likely go into the thigh and hit the femeral artery causing a bleed out. "

http://armorednutshellz.com/ballistic-test-videos/

An cup that swallows.


If I have to choose between getting my dick/balls shot off and bleeding to death from my femoral artery, make sure my obituary is interesting.
 
2013-05-06 07:42:30 PM
Is getting shot in the dick really that prevalent of a problem?
 
2013-05-06 07:45:05 PM

wildcardjack: [radio-weblogs.com image 583x332]

Did he submit it to military redundancy department.


radio-weblogs.com

Not really

Imagine this:
www.antiqueathlete.com
Vs.

This

armorednutshellz.com
 
2013-05-06 07:45:56 PM

ArcadianRefugee: Is getting shot in the dick really that prevalent of a problem?


According to TFA at least 300 times it has happened in Iraq/Afghanistan.
 
2013-05-06 07:49:46 PM
TFA refers to "devastating injuries to the groin." As opposed to pleasant ones.
 
2013-05-06 07:50:12 PM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: I was expecting the product name to be "The Cock Blocker".

/disappointed


exact same thought, +1
 
2013-05-06 07:53:59 PM

swingerofbirches: I've never understood the shape of cups. I haven't worn one, but I just get how they get narrower toward the bottom. Anyhow, I guess it's good to protect your body in a war zone, and I get that that area is much less reparable than your legs, for example, but it seems like the ideal would be having your face, head, chest, abdomen, and back protected in the same way as well. I guess it's better than nothing.


There is nothing I MEAN NOTHING worse than getting caught with a baseball under the cup.

I never wore a cup playing soccer or basketball in school, but always wore one playing baseball.  My main position was first base, but I also wore the tools of ignorance and caught.  I took a foul tip that went straight down, then up under the cup, and I thought I would pass out.  It pushed the whole shooting match up to the guts.

I've been nailed with a soccer ball, but since it is bigger, it isn't as bad  I mean, I still wanted to puke, but I still had my bearings.

Broktun /  Married, 2 children, minor birth defects due to smashed sperm.
 
2013-05-06 07:54:37 PM

ArcadianRefugee: Is getting shot in the dick really that prevalent of a problem?


It's not getting shot in the dick so much as shrapnel in the dick, although I'm sure someone could be shooting at dicks. One of my old Army buddies ended up coming back from Afghanistan one nut short and with some shrapnel in his legs and groin area.
 
2013-05-06 07:54:47 PM

ArcadianRefugee: Is getting shot in the dick really that prevalent of a problem?


If I had a set of dangly bits and I was over there I'd be more worried about getting IED shrapnel up into the sensitive areas.  I'm sure there were some folks in the crowd in Boston that could have used this thing a few weeks back.
 
2013-05-06 07:58:46 PM

ArcadianRefugee: Is getting shot in the dick really that prevalent of a problem?


I'd rather die.
 
2013-05-06 08:04:06 PM

ArcadianRefugee: Is getting shot in the dick really that prevalent of a problem?


Shrapnel from IEDs is probably more common.  But everyone knows what it's like to get shot in the dick with a 9mm so they use that as a standard.
 
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