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(Pacific Standard Magazine)   A time traveler from the year 2036 signs onto the Internet in 2000 in order to tell us about, presumably, the return of GIFs   (psmag.com) divider line 70
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6976 clicks; posted to Geek » on 06 May 2013 at 5:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-06 01:59:46 PM
i bet that bastard caused the NASDAQ crash of March 2000.  we could be at 12233000 now if it continued on the same trajectory that it was going from the end of 1999.  and got even more parabolic in 2008 where it went up an asimytope
 
2013-05-06 02:56:16 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-06 04:54:37 PM
All his failed predictions, well not predictions, past facts according to him:The most immediate of Titor's predictions was of an upcoming civil war in the United States having to do with "order and rights". He described it as beginning in 2004, with civil unrest surrounding the presidential election of that year. This civil conflict that he characterizes as "having a Waco type event every month that steadily gets worse" will be "pretty much at everyone's doorstep" and erupts by 2008.Titor claimed that as a 13-year old in 2011, he fought with the Fighting Diamondbacks, a shotgun infantry unit of Florida, for at least four years. However, in other posts he describes himself as hiding from the war. As a result of the war, the United States splits into five regions based on various factors and differing military objectives. This civil war, according to Titor, will end in 2015 with a brief but intense World War III.One of Titor's earliest assertions was that CERN would discover the basis for time travel sometime around 2001, with the creation of miniature black holes about half a year after his departure. This did not occur. An article occurring generally around the time he had predicted about miniature black holes being created by CERN was taken by some to be evidence of this claim; but these events did not occur either. Civil war was not even remotely close to breaking out after the 2004 presidential election, with no further conflict in 2008 and 2012 in the way Titor described.A particularly obvious example involves the Olympics, whereof Titor claimed: "As a result of the many conflicts, no, there were no official Olympics after 2004." The politically uneventful staging of the 2006 Winter Olympics, the 2008 Summer Olympics, the 2010 Winter Olympics, and the 2012 Summer Olympics refute this claim.Other problems with the story include inconsistencies in Titor's comments. His first appearance appears to have been not in 2000, but in the summer of 1998 through two faxes to Art Bell's radio program Coast to Coast AM. When he began posting the online story, Y2K (January 1, 2000) had come and gone without any real problems. Yet in the 1998 faxes to Art Bell he said, "Y2K is a disaster. Many people freeze to death trying to get to warmer weather. The gov. tries to keep power by instituting marshall [sic] law..."
 
2013-05-06 04:55:47 PM
Raw HTML pasting fail. If only I saw that coming.
 
2013-05-06 04:59:44 PM
People still talk about John Titor?

For fark's sake, people.
 
2013-05-06 05:07:53 PM
I'm so glad GIFs are back. I don't know how the hell it happened. For a long time they were relegated to newgroundsesque sites and forum avatars
 
2013-05-06 05:28:07 PM
If you got lost in Walker's wall of text, allow me to summarize: The dude was full of shiat, none of his predictions have come true.
 
2013-05-06 05:52:51 PM
His predictions influenced the course of events, preventing the tragedies they catalogue.
 
2013-05-06 05:55:57 PM

timujin: If you got lost in Walker's wall of text, allow me to summarize: The dude was full of shiat, none of his predictions have come true.


Where does he stand on the Time Cube?
 
2013-05-06 05:56:06 PM
"Now that the number of unsubstantiated claims on the Internet is somewhat larger than the factorial of the square of all the large numbers ever conceived separated by arrow notation," said Dunning on his podcast, "it would be a lot harder to achieve John Titor's celebrity."

I was told there would be no math.
 
2013-05-06 06:03:20 PM
I am a time traveler from the year 2012. I'm here to tell you that the world will not end and there will be no disasters.

thank you
 
2013-05-06 06:11:47 PM

Walker: All his failed predictions, well not predictions, past facts according to him:The most immediate of Titor's predictions was of an upcoming civil war in the United States having to do with "order and rights". He described it as beginning in 2004, with civil unrest surrounding the presidential election of that year. This civil conflict that he characterizes as "having a Waco type event every month that steadily gets worse" will be "pretty much at everyone's doorstep" and erupts by 2008.Titor claimed that as a 13-year old in 2011, he fought with the Fighting Diamondbacks, a shotgun infantry unit of Florida, for at least four years. However, in other posts he describes himself as hiding from the war. As a result of the war, the United States splits into five regions based on various factors and differing military objectives. This civil war, according to Titor, will end in 2015 with a brief but intense World War III.One of Titor's earliest assertions was that CERN would discover the basis for time travel sometime around 2001, with the creation of miniature black holes about half a year after his departure. This did not occur. An article occurring generally around the time he had predicted about miniature black holes being created by CERN was taken by some to be evidence of this claim; but these events did not occur either. Civil war was not even remotely close to breaking out after the 2004 presidential election, with no further conflict in 2008 and 2012 in the way Titor described.A particularly obvious example involves the Olympics, whereof Titor claimed: "As a result of the many conflicts, no, there were no official Olympics after 2004." The politically uneventful staging of the 2006 Winter Olympics, the 2008 Summer Olympics, the 2010 Winter Olympics, and the 2012 Summer Olympics refute this claim.Other problems with the story include inconsistencies in Titor's comments. His first appearance appears to have been not in 2000, but in the summer of 1998 through two faxes ...


Well it's still real to me dammit.
 
2013-05-06 06:16:29 PM
Dear future person, if you find this message in a future where time travel is possible...please send me the lotto numbers for May 10th 2013.  In return I will put $5 Million in a box at a location that you specify in the original lottery numbers message.
 
2013-05-06 06:21:13 PM
Should have seen the GIFs coming - now I "Literally can't stop watching" them.

/Still dryer then littoraly can't stop watching them
 
2013-05-06 06:22:43 PM

Walker: All his failed predictions, well not predictions, past facts according to him:The most immediate of Titor's predictions was of an upcoming civil war in the United States having to do with "order and rights". He described it as beginning in 2004, with civil unrest surrounding the presidential election of that year. This civil conflict that he characterizes as "having a Waco type event every month that steadily gets worse" will be "pretty much at everyone's doorstep" and erupts by 2008.Titor claimed that as a 13-year old in 2011, he fought with the Fighting Diamondbacks, a shotgun infantry unit of Florida, for at least four years. However, in other posts he describes himself as hiding from the war. As a result of the war, the United States splits into five regions based on various factors and differing military objectives. This civil war, according to Titor, will end in 2015 with a brief but intense World War III.One of Titor's earliest assertions was that CERN would discover the basis for time travel sometime around 2001, with the creation of miniature black holes about half a year after his departure. This did not occur. An article occurring generally around the time he had predicted about miniature black holes being created by CERN was taken by some to be evidence of this claim; but these events did not occur either. Civil war was not even remotely close to breaking out after the 2004 presidential election, with no further conflict in 2008 and 2012 in the way Titor described.A particularly obvious example involves the Olympics, whereof Titor claimed: "As a result of the many conflicts, no, there were no official Olympics after 2004." The politically uneventful staging of the 2006 Winter Olympics, the 2008 Summer Olympics, the 2010 Winter Olympics, and the 2012 Summer Olympics refute this claim.Other problems with the story include inconsistencies in Titor's comments. His first appearance appears to have been not in 2000, but in the summer of 1998 through two faxes ... To spread his message he chose the forums from "The Time Travel Institute".

 
2013-05-06 06:24:47 PM
img.gawkerassets.com

This guy?
 
2013-05-06 06:26:09 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

Time travel GIF thread?
 
2013-05-06 06:31:37 PM

SultanofSchwing: Dear future person, if you find this message in a future where time travel is possible...please send me the lotto numbers for May 10th 2013.  In return I will put $5 Million in a box at a location that you specify in the original lottery numbers message


5.9 8 7 7 6 6 t 6y \

and i want my winnings in bitcoins sent to 123sdjfaskjhfasdkjfsal23dfdsdfas

 
2013-05-06 06:32:00 PM
Of course he used GIFs - He's from the future and he had to rely on historical records of what the internet was like in our time - they knew GIFs were big, just a little off on the dates of their rise and fall.
 
2013-05-06 06:40:44 PM

TommyDeuce: Should have seen the GIFs coming - now I "Literally can't stop watching" them.


 
2013-05-06 06:41:45 PM

sprag: [img.gawkerassets.com image 300x89]

This guy?


Made an acceptable movie:   Link

/I caught it on Netflix Instant.
 
2013-05-06 06:44:02 PM

Walker: All his failed predictions, well not predictions, past facts according to him:The most immediate of Titor's predictions was of an upcoming civil war in the United States having to do with "order and rights". He described it as beginning in 2004, with civil unrest surrounding the presidential election of that year. This civil conflict that he characterizes as "having a Waco type event every month that steadily gets worse" will be "pretty much at everyone's doorstep" and erupts by 2008.Titor claimed that as a 13-year old in 2011, he fought with the Fighting Diamondbacks, a shotgun infantry unit of Florida, for at least four years. However, in other posts he describes himself as hiding from the war. As a result of the war, the United States splits into five regions based on various factors and differing military objectives. This civil war, according to Titor, will end in 2015 with a brief but intense World War III.One of Titor's earliest assertions was that CERN would discover the basis for time travel sometime around 2001, with the creation of miniature black holes about half a year after his departure. This did not occur. An article occurring generally around the time he had predicted about miniature black holes being created by CERN was taken by some to be evidence of this claim; but these events did not occur either. Civil war was not even remotely close to breaking out after the 2004 presidential election, with no further conflict in 2008 and 2012 in the way Titor described.A particularly obvious example involves the Olympics, whereof Titor claimed: "As a result of the many conflicts, no, there were no official Olympics after 2004." The politically uneventful staging of the 2006 Winter Olympics, the 2008 Summer Olympics, the 2010 Winter Olympics, and the 2012 Summer Olympics refute this claim.Other problems with the story include inconsistencies in Titor's comments. His first appearance appears to have been not in 2000, but in the summer of 1998 through two faxes ...


That just means he was successful.
 
2013-05-06 06:45:54 PM
Okay, here's how we get this guy:  somebody copy this article and when time travel is invented, we go back to just before he posts for the first time and post the article.  Comedy gold.
 
2013-05-06 06:51:11 PM

Ned Stark: His predictions influenced the course of events, preventing the tragedies they catalogue.


Yup. That's why I'm posting here -- to avoid the tragic consequences that would otherwise have followed from my ill-fated clandestine relationship with Kate Upton. Now, thanks to this post, we'll never even meet. Such are the sacrifices required of a Time-Rider.
 
2013-05-06 06:53:57 PM

SultanofSchwing: Dear future person, if you find this message in a future where time travel is possible...please send me the lotto numbers for May 10th 2013.  In return I will put $5 Million in a box at a location that you specify in the original lottery numbers message.


He told me he saw this but it's not worth his time. Instead, he's agreed to give me the numbers and I will invest it all in the next big thing.
 
2013-05-06 06:54:55 PM

picturescrazy: SultanofSchwing: Dear future person, if you find this message in a future where time travel is possible...please send me the lotto numbers for May 10th 2013.  In return I will put $5 Million in a box at a location that you specify in the original lottery numbers message.

He told me he saw this but it's not worth his time. Instead, he's agreed to give me the numbers and I will invest it all in the next big thing.


Bitcoin thread is a few posts below.
 
2013-05-06 07:18:41 PM

SultanofSchwing: Dear future person, if you find this message in a future where time travel is possible...please send me the lotto numbers for May 10th 2013.  In return I will put $5 Million in a box at a location that you specify in the original lottery numbers message.


$5m US? So I stick my neck out and break the temporal prime directive and, in return, you offer me a cup of Starbucks? Nope.
 
2013-05-06 07:27:44 PM
Laugh if you want, but tomorrow is going to be quite a day.  Don't say you weren't given a heads up.  Just know that I'll be carrying a roll of toilet paper plus enough ketchup to last me several weeks, and so should you.
 
2013-05-06 07:34:20 PM

Captain Steroid: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x281]


blogs.emory.edu
 
2013-05-06 07:41:39 PM

Walker: All his failed predictions


It was just how things played out in his timeline. The version of time travel he claimed is the only one considered remotely possible by physicists, being that if you did manage to do it you'd end up in a different timeline. So anything you did using time travel would just affect whatever timeline you visit, and you could then go back to your own. Everything he said happened in his timeline could happen here later, or even not at all. For example, there would probably be a timeline where instead of any kind of revolution happening people in the US find themselves submitting to a totalitarian state.

Whether it's real or not, it makes for an interesting story. Two things that stick with me the most are his claims that CERN is where the discoveries are made that allow time travel, and he was correct about CJD in beef becoming a major problem in the years after he posted. Proper measures still haven't been made to address the problem, so it's not the last we'll hear of it, either.
 
2013-05-06 07:46:30 PM
bulk2.destructoid.com
 
2013-05-06 07:49:34 PM
On the other hand, all of James "Kibo" Parry's predictions about the  pastHAVE come true!
 
2013-05-06 07:54:39 PM
Movie has already been made:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1862079/
 
2013-05-06 07:59:23 PM
The Mystery of John Titor

"Mystery"? Really?

sigh....
 
2013-05-06 07:59:23 PM
One of my bands has a song about this guy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcI-IOnX_0Q
 
2013-05-06 08:00:04 PM
He keeps coming back like a bad penny the Terminator. Let's go back to 1975 and thwart his plans to collect a giant paper weight to fight the super-bug (presumably he intends to kill it by causing it to RAOFL to death with a museum-piece machine of such ancient vintage that no self-respecting virus would or could infect it, unlike the feeble Microsoft-compatible software that the Aliens in Independance Day had). Stupid aliens. Stupid time-travellers.

All we have to do is start a computer company that makes computer OS that can not be destroyed by a super bug because no self-respecting hacker would bother to write any viruses for it. I've named this project after the production company of my favourite band in 1974, Apple. If we do this, we may be able to rid this world of the threat of time travellers who build time machines out of old timey radiation detectors or whatever the Hell that debunker guy identified Titor's "time machine" as.

If I were going to build a time machine, I'd put it in something more inconspicous than a Delorean, which has a very bad reputation any way in my home time and place, the Bricklyn Era in New Brunswick in the 1970s. In fact, it might be a useful side trip to go back to 1974 and shoot the Bricklyn's inventor and promoter, John Delorean.

We built hundreds of those useless things in New Brunswick at least a decade before they got famous in the movies. And do you remember him getting arrested for smuggling coke?

I have a theory. John Titor and John "Bricklyn" Delorean are the same person.

WE HAVE TO STOP THIS MONSTER. Next time he might con a bigger and richer province or state, like the State of California or the Commonwealth of Greater Massachusetts.
 
2013-05-06 08:11:14 PM
Little Known Facts about John Titor.

1. Introduced the fad of "business in front, party in the back", aka the Mullet.
2. Once built a time machine in a VHS tape rewinder.
3. His real name is "John Adolf Tittler".
4. He invented the sold-state coke spoon.
5. Still wears a calculator watch in 2063.
6. Was demoted to Corporal for time-travelling back to the 1960s and stealing the recipe for the secret sauce from under the nose of Ray Croc. (The secret is that it is made of pure, unadulterated tartar sauce, which you can make at home by mixing green relish with mayonnaise and some dried green onion. They just leave it out until it turns yellow.)
7. He the Class of 2025 class record for killing the Prophet Mohammed the most times--117.
8. He would have killed the Prophet 118 times but once he accidentally killed Moe Szyslak.
9. He's allergic to the most common ice cream topping in 2063: locusts.
10. From our time to his, no one has come up with worse SF ideas and convinced more idiots to believe in thm than him, except, of course, for H. Ron Hubbard.
 
2013-05-06 08:15:28 PM

sprag: [img.gawkerassets.com image 300x89]


img.gawkerassets.com
This guy?

I'm going to kill the barber who invented this hair cut. It makes me look like a Rook. No, I didn't say Snook, I mean the chess piece, the castle thingie. Piece that sits next to the Horsie?
 
2013-05-06 08:21:48 PM

brantgoose: sprag: [img.gawkerassets.com image 300x89]

[img.gawkerassets.com image 300x89]
This guy?

I'm going to kill the barber who invented this hair cut. It makes me look like a Rook. No, I didn't say Snook, I mean the chess piece, the castle thingie. Piece that sits next to the Horsie?


I sent that picture to a supervisor at work and told him that's what I looked like in the 80's. He believed me for a minute until he realized I'm not even 30 yet.
 
2013-05-06 08:37:59 PM
I'm sorry.  I'm afraid I'm responsible for John Titor.  You see, John Titor is not from 2036, but in reality 1886.  I was trying to travel back in time to 1987 (hence the time machine being disguised as a 1987 Buick) from the year 2636, but I farked up and put in 1886 instead.  He then stole my time machine and traveled to the future, but he confused some alternative-history novels as non-fictional history books, and thought that the time machine was from 2036 because of my horrible handwriting.  I needed to bury a time capsule as a pre-determined spot as per emergency procedures, and I was shorty rescued and brought to the early 2000s with the instructions of finding Titor.  Also, it wasn't his three-year-old self he visited.  It was actually one of his descendants, who happened to be three at the time.  However, we lost track of him in 2001.  We believe he may have encountered something sinister in the time vortex.  Due to the fact it was my time machine Titor stole, I've been sentenced to live out my life in this time period.
 
2013-05-06 09:38:34 PM

Honest Bender: sprag: [img.gawkerassets.com image 300x89]

This guy?

Made an acceptable movie:   Link

/I caught it on Netflix Instant.


Came here for this. Loved it. First movie in a long time that didn't feel like a waste of 1.5 hours.
 
2013-05-06 09:49:05 PM
"..claimed he was a soldier sent from 2036, the year the computer virus wiped the world."

Sounds too similar to 12 Monkey's, which came out in 1995 (5 years earlier for the "time traveler"),  if the biological virus was replaced with a "computer virus."  He could have at least tried a little harder to come up with original ideas to sell the whole "time traveler" thing.
 
2013-05-06 11:05:26 PM
I liked this article. It's not really about the Titor thing literally - it's an examination of the Internet-based social activity that centered around it.

It's an interesting look at what effect our newly-networked world has on group behavior. It's one interesting example, among thousands of interesting examples of things that wouldn't have happened before the Internet.

There are pedestrian examples such as simple memes or fads like Gangham Style, planking, Chocolate Rain, etc.

Then there are more complicated phenomena such as Anonymous, the balkanization of people into 'fanboy' groups (like the thousands of highly-emotional people spewing hatred at one another over whether iOS or Android is better), etc. The battleground of politics seems to be largely the Internet now, too. I don't just mean that 'the Internet is where people discuss politics' - I mean that opinions on the Internet seem to be amplified to ridiculous extremes and offset everything else in 'the real world'.

Psychologists and sociologists are going to have a field day cataloging and exploring what the Internet is doing to us. As an armchair enthusiast of both studies, I'm fascinated by these phenomena and have a few ideas about what's going on, and where it's going. My thoughts haven't coagulated yet to the point where I can arrange them into a framework that can be easily elucidated, but here's a few abstracts that I think will become more important in times to come -

- There won't be a field of psychology that is separate from sociology. We are all, every one of us, connected. This has really been true for all of eternity, but it's more important to recognize now than ever before. An increasing level of 'identity' is being passed on to 'the cloud', as it were. As a side effect, there seems to be a larger focus on a consensus than a truth.

- The body of knowledge of certain philosophers, scientists, and writers that has been largely sidelined will be exhumed/resurrected. I speak of Julian Jaynes (and his thoughts on the contextualization of information as the key function of human consciousness), Jean Baudrillard (his musings on the nature of first- and second-order simulacra, how the mediation of culture shapes thought), Richard Dawkins (his grand idea of 'memes' being abused currently to describe stupid cat pictures, but which is a treatment on the transmission of information/ideas among minds), Fredric Jameson/Roland Barthes/etc (see structuralism, semiotics, etc).

- There will be much analysis on the how and how often previously examined psychological phenomena are expressed in a socially connected populace. The author of this article did very well to mention the Zeigarnik effect. This is an example of a studied human quirk that, when viewed in light of the John Titor nonsense, manifests itself in ways that Bluma Zeigarnik likely never imagined - the need of individual humans to find closure for unfinished business results in a widespread social phenomenon that stretches for years, triggering a chain effect in a Dawkins-mimetic sort of fashion... and, I'm rambling.

Anyway, if you've read this far, I'll do a TL;DR - human society is changing in very important, fundamental ways due to the Internet. It's all very fascinating, and what I wrote in this post barely scratches the surface.
 
2013-05-06 11:16:20 PM
Yeah, but who landed on the moon first, and in what year?

/I had never heard of this before.  Epic troll and performance art.  I would LOVE to know what else he may have orchestrated.
 
2013-05-06 11:23:59 PM
I'm a time traveler.

But I can only go forward about 1 day every 24 hours.
 
2013-05-06 11:25:35 PM
John Titor was fake and exposed years ago when he was pretending to be a space alien on another website
 
2013-05-06 11:32:47 PM
An old associate of mine told me once that Titor was actually Michael Crichton. Not sure how valid that was, he was high pretty much constantly, but I guess that would make sense.
 
2013-05-07 12:04:01 AM

karasoth: John Titor was fake and exposed years ago when he was pretending to be a space alien on another website


Just spent 20 minutes digging through "John Titor hoax exposed" pages and the only trace of that was one comment made in passing which gave a dead link as evidence. If such a thing was truly found i'd expect it to be more widely reported. For the most part they're still repeating the same weak evidence as they did when it first surfaced. In all likelihood it is a hoax, but there is no really good evidence proving it yet.
 
2013-05-07 12:30:36 AM
I wish people would just drop this all. I just want to be left alone. The timeline changed, and we all have to adapt.
 
2013-05-07 12:59:37 AM

JTitor: I wish people would just drop this all. I just want to be left alone. The timeline changed, and we all have to adapt.


I expected this account to be made today.

/surprised it was not
 
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