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(Some Guy)   A bottle of Jack Daniels, and a fistful of cocaine? Meet the new bassist for Lynyrd Skynyrd   (lynyrdskynyrd.com) divider line 86
    More: Cool, Jack Daniels, Skynyrd, Black Crowes, Beacon Theater, Southern rock, Ronnie Van Zant, bassist, cocaine  
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13367 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2013 at 2:59 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-06 05:02:52 PM
Though I'm not much of a fan of Skynard, I have to say this guy is one hell of a fine writer. It's a rare day when I read a blog/essay in full by a 'rocker', but this was one I couldn't stop reading until the end. Yeah, there are some out there with brains, intellect and communication skills that go beyond writing catchy lyrics.
 
2013-05-06 05:03:27 PM
Cocaine? They still make that stuff?

Nose candy for snowflakes that can't handle meth.
 
2013-05-06 05:14:50 PM
Wow he put himself through alot of hurt just to play bass.

Sheesh. Just buy another gun or something.
 
2013-05-06 05:23:29 PM

FirstNationalBastard: downstairs: biyaaatci: Do they even have ANY original members left?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 800x660]

Looks like one.

Brother, I am disappoint.

Wow, I didn't realize that it was only one.  Sheesh, they really are just a tribute/cover band.

At least the Allman Brothers still have 3 original members left.

And Warren Haynes.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x493]


I was going to point that out too. Of course, you could consider Derek Trucks the reincarnation of Duane...and do they really have *three* drummers?
 
2013-05-06 05:32:26 PM
I love Skynyrd, both old and new. Even if a lot of it is a little bit..... redneck.
 
2013-05-06 05:38:14 PM

megarian: OgreMagi: megarian: FirstNationalBastard: Pants full of macaroni!!: MFAWG: FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?

An assload is more than hella much, but less than a metric buttload.

And don't forget, a metric assload is also called an arseload.

So, when does an assload become a shiatload?

When you factor in total Taco Bell consumption divided by hours post consumption upon removal. Usually in units on 10. So kind of like metric.

Nobody eats when they're on a coke bender.  Especially not taco bell.

You eat BEFORE because you know you're about to do an assload of coke. You know you won't be eating for a while and the probability of consuming vodka increased expomentially per teener (1/16 of an oz) insufflated.

I recommend Bloody Mary's for the nutritional value. And because I farking love hot sauce.


I could go for a Bloody Mary right about now.  Best made with Stoli Pepper.
 
2013-05-06 06:09:42 PM
FTA: "Like an airplane whose wings fell off mid-flight, I crashed, I burned, hitting my bottom right there in public under the white hot spot lights of the Beacon Theater."

I don't know if this is the most tactful sentence to write in an article about Lynyrd Skynyrd!
 
2013-05-06 06:43:05 PM
In my world (what I like to call Reality),  Lynyrd Skynrd has not existed since 1977.
 
2013-05-06 06:53:58 PM

ModernPrimitive01: biyaaatci: Do they even have ANY original members left?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 800x660]

Looks like one.

Brother, I am disappoint.

there is also the Artimus Pyle band who has exactly the same amount of original Skynyrd members meaning just Pyle himself. They tour and play the same songs if you don't mind the fact that Artimus molested his small children


You act like big children can be molested.
 
2013-05-06 06:56:37 PM

NorCalLos: teenage mutant ninja rapist: FirstNationalBastard: Pants full of macaroni!!: MFAWG: FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?

An assload is more than hella much, but less than a metric buttload.

And don't forget, a metric assload is also called an arseload.

So, when does an assload become a shiatload?

After it gets removed

Is it me, or is this a George Carlin routine?


It can't be. I don't think there's an original George Carlin member left. Where's that dude with the charts?
 
2013-05-06 07:18:03 PM
Freeeeee Base?
 
2013-05-06 07:46:45 PM

albatros183: Freeeeee Base?


lulz
 
2013-05-06 07:51:40 PM
Didn't Pat Travers already cover the whiskey and cocaine thing?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwTf0o3lLEA
 
2013-05-06 08:05:00 PM
PLAY SOME SKYNYRD MAN!
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-05-06 08:19:23 PM

The Southern Dandy: In my world (what I like to call Reality),  Lynyrd Skynrd has not existed since 1977.


Pretty much.  Johnny isn't quite as good a vocalist as Ronnie.  Then Alan farked himself up and that pretty much finished it.
 
2013-05-06 08:23:33 PM
ModernPrimitive01:

there is also the Artimus Pyle band who has exactly the same amount of original Skynyrd members meaning just Pyle himself. They tour and play the same songs if you don't mind the fact that Artimus molested his small children

From Wikipedia:

In 1993, Pyle was arrested and charged in Jacksonville Beach, Florida with sexual battery against his daughters, ages four and eight.[9] Facing a potential life sentence, he arranged a plea bargain with prosecutors to spare the children a trial[10] and was sentenced to eight years of probation.[11]
 
2013-05-06 08:25:44 PM
Sun Tzu:

Cocaine? They still make that stuff?

Nose candy for snowflakes that can't handle meth.


This. But don't tell Lindsay.
 
2013-05-06 08:28:44 PM
"Freebird!!1!!"
 
2013-05-06 08:32:28 PM

Farce-Side: Wow, what a huge step down.  From the Black Crowes to fake Lynard Skynard.  That's where drugs will get you kids.  Playing for a shiatty band that rips of the songs and the name of the lead singer's brothers band.


Johnny Colt hasn't been with the Black Crowes since 1997.
 
2013-05-06 08:39:33 PM

W.C.fields forever: douchebag/hater: Saw the guys twice before the crash.

They sucked both times.

So...There dead.And your glad there dead.


First the word you're looking for is 'they're' as in 'they are'. 'There dead' reads like you're a knuckle-dragging mouth breather named 'Cletus' and you're pointing at a place down the road and trying to explain to someone that death is in that place.

Second. No.

But don't strain yourself trying to figure out why that is.
 
2013-05-06 08:47:18 PM

douchebag/hater: W.C.fields forever: douchebag/hater: Saw the guys twice before the crash.

They sucked both times.

So...There dead.And your glad there dead.

First the word you're looking for is 'they're' as in 'they are'. 'There dead' reads like you're a knuckle-dragging mouth breather named 'Cletus' and you're pointing at a place down the road and trying to explain to someone that death is in that place.

Second. No.

But don't strain yourself trying to figure out why that is.

The second I punched add comment I realized I spelled it wrong.Twice..I know.
/And I was kidding around
//My name is Zed
///Feck you...
 
2013-05-06 09:09:22 PM

12349876: Farce-Side: Wow, what a huge step down.  From the Black Crowes to fake Lynard Skynard.  That's where drugs will get you kids.  Playing for a shiatty band that rips of the songs and the name of the lead singer's brothers band.

Johnny Colt hasn't been with the Black Crowes since 1997.


Is that supposed to lessen the amount of fail?
 
2013-05-06 10:00:30 PM

The One True TheDavid: ModernPrimitive01:

there is also the Artimus Pyle band who has exactly the same amount of original Skynyrd members meaning just Pyle himself. They tour and play the same songs if you don't mind the fact that Artimus molested his small children

From Wikipedia:

In 1993, Pyle was arrested and charged in Jacksonville Beach, Florida with sexual battery against his daughters, ages four and eight.[9] Facing a potential life sentence, he arranged a plea bargain with prosecutors to spare the children a trial[10] and was sentenced to eight years of probation.[11]


And, he wasn't an original member.
 
2013-05-06 10:09:42 PM
I'm all for the smack talking, opinionated, smart ass comments and opinions,...I see another farkin spreadsheet with names and milestones on Fark again..I'm out.

/that smell..not that spreadsheet.
 
2013-05-06 11:09:17 PM

thorthor: The One True TheDavid: ModernPrimitive01:

there is also the Artimus Pyle band who has exactly the same amount of original Skynyrd members meaning just Pyle himself. They tour and play the same songs if you don't mind the fact that Artimus molested his small children

From Wikipedia:

In 1993, Pyle was arrested and charged in Jacksonville Beach, Florida with sexual battery against his daughters, ages four and eight.[9] Facing a potential life sentence, he arranged a plea bargain with prosecutors to spare the children a trial[10] and was sentenced to eight years of probation.[11]

And, he wasn't an original member.


Artimus Pyle wasn't an original member of the Artimus Pyle Band? Fark! How'd that happen?
 
2013-05-06 11:13:18 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Pants full of macaroni!!: MFAWG: FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?

An assload is more than hella much, but less than a metric buttload.

And don't forget, a metric assload is also called an arseload.

So, when does an assload become a shiatload?


When it's tweeted
 
2013-05-06 11:19:46 PM
Just read through Johnny Colt's Wikipedia page.

Man....he has more dignity than to play for that tribute act.
 
2013-05-06 11:29:37 PM
Yeah well, I'm going to see Flag next week, which has two original members of Black Flag in them... which is one more than the band touring as Black Flag.

/Actually, NOT going to see them
//this kind of shiat is pathetic
 
2013-05-07 01:39:02 AM

Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?


You know how I know you're not a rock star?
 
2013-05-07 04:02:35 AM
Wow.  Why all the skynyrd hate ?
yes... they're mostly non-original.   But Rossington is really kind of the man.
And the collection of folks from various southern rock bands over the years that's come together for this band is really quite cool to see.
And yes... when Wilkerson & Powell died... things got really sketchy in terms of original roster.
But little brother has been singing with them for a loong time & does a good job.  I've seen them a few times and the place is always packed & the concert is great.

So many folks here hatin' on the bassist for playing with them too..  That's funny :) Enjoy your day-jobs and the dignity that comes from knowing YOUD never lower yourself to play with Skynyrd :)
 
2013-05-07 11:17:25 AM

12349876: Farce-Side: Wow, what a huge step down.  From the Black Crowes to fake Lynard Skynard.  That's where drugs will get you kids.  Playing for a shiatty band that rips of the songs and the name of the lead singer's brothers band.

Johnny Colt hasn't been with the Black Crowes since 1997.


i.e. back when they were good
 
2013-05-07 11:18:49 AM

ristst: I saw them back in the late 70s.....think I was around 17 or so.  It wasn't their last show before the crash, but the show before the last.  I recall getting dressed for school a day or so later, and my sister came in and asked which band I had seen a couple nites before.  When I said LS, she said had heard on the radio that a band went down in a plane crash and she thought it was them.

It was an awesome concert....and I'm not even a fan, never had any of their records.  But I had played Sweet Home Alabama in a couple of cover bands, and I loved those guitar solos on that song.

Looking back, it was pretty boss.  Ronnie was barefoot at the mic.  All three guitarists took exceptional time tune up between each and every song.  Billy ruled the keys as usual.  Artemus Pyle was still drumming with the group.

And I hooked up with a hot chick at the show and we made out pretty much to whole night.

Good times.....damn good times.


You sure about the barefoot part? 'Cause that's a real quick way to get hurt/killed. I know plenty of people that do it - but they're hooked up to 110v power playing through a 100w combo amp sitting at home on a wood floor. Doing that at an arena with their power loads, and shorting out, can kill you. I'd be surprised if he didn't know that. Hell, I played in thin flip flops and still got hit hard enough with a shock to "black out" visually for a couple seconds, and that was just on 220 in a small club.

http://s20.photobucket.com/user/open-g/media/Keith_shock.jpg.html
 
2013-05-07 11:21:18 AM

12349876: Farce-Side: Wow, what a huge step down.  From the Black Crowes to fake Lynard Skynard.  That's where drugs will get you kids.  Playing for a shiatty band that rips of the songs and the name of the lead singer's brothers band.

Johnny Colt hasn't been with the Black Crowes since 1997.


i.e. back when they were good. (Actually, they lost me after The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion." I saw them live a few years back and it was a bit of a letdown.
 
2013-05-07 11:55:45 AM

HeFixesTheCable: You sure about the barefoot part? 'Cause that's a real quick way to get hurt/killed


Asolutely....have vivid memories of him barefoot.  A quick GIS shows him barefoot onstage in quite a few pics.
 
2013-05-07 02:41:57 PM

Farce-Side: 12349876: Farce-Side: Wow, what a huge step down.  From the Black Crowes to fake Lynard Skynard.  That's where drugs will get you kids.  Playing for a shiatty band that rips of the songs and the name of the lead singer's brothers band.

Johnny Colt hasn't been with the Black Crowes since 1997.

Is that supposed to lessen the amount of fail?


You were implying that he left the Black Crowes specifically to join Skynard.
 
2013-05-07 09:58:21 PM

The Southern Dandy: In my world (what I like to call Reality),  Lynyrd Skynrd has not existed since 1977.


Your world sounds wonderful.
 
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