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(Some Guy)   A bottle of Jack Daniels, and a fistful of cocaine? Meet the new bassist for Lynyrd Skynyrd   (lynyrdskynyrd.com) divider line 86
    More: Cool, Jack Daniels, Skynyrd, Black Crowes, Beacon Theater, Southern rock, Ronnie Van Zant, bassist, cocaine  
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13698 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2013 at 2:59 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-06 01:38:22 PM  
It was extremely disappointing to read that and learn that Lynard Skynard's new bassist is not LITERALLY a bottle of Jack Daniels and a fistful of cocaine.
 
2013-05-06 01:55:34 PM  
Sounds like if he keeps living like that, he's going to go down in flames.
 
2013-05-06 01:59:00 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Sounds like if he keeps living like that, he's going to go down in flames.


i709.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-06 02:07:35 PM  
Wow, what a huge step down.  From the Black Crowes to fake Lynard Skynard.  That's where drugs will get you kids.  Playing for a shiatty band that rips of the songs and the name of the lead singer's brothers band.
 
2013-05-06 03:04:13 PM  
Main tab?  Really?  Is the Entertainment tab full?
 
2013-05-06 03:08:15 PM  
Oak tree, you're in my way.
 
2013-05-06 03:10:36 PM  
I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?
 
2013-05-06 03:10:49 PM  

Farce-Side: Wow, what a huge step down.  From the Black Crowes to fake Lynard Skynard.  That's where drugs will get you kids.  Playing for a shiatty band that rips of the songs and the name of the lead singer's brothers band.


They were just here in suburban Seattle, playing a junior hockey arena that came nowhere close to selling out. A couple of friends went and said it was pathetic.
 
2013-05-06 03:12:09 PM  

Farce-Side: Wow, what a huge step down.  From the Black Crowes to fake Lynard Skynard.  That's where drugs will get you kids.  Playing for a shiatty band that rips of the songs and the name of the lead singer's brothers band.


Nice. You not only bash the current incarnation of Skynyrd, you also manage to spell Lynyrd Skynyrd wrong.
 
2013-05-06 03:13:59 PM  

Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?


Of course not. One fistfull ain't gonna get you through a weekend...
 
2013-05-06 03:14:48 PM  

Some Bass Playing Guy: Farce-Side: Wow, what a huge step down.  From the Black Crowes to fake Lynard Skynard.  That's where drugs will get you kids.  Playing for a shiatty band that rips of the songs and the name of the lead singer's brothers band.

Nice. You not only bash the current incarnation of Skynyrd, you also manage to spell Lynyrd Skynyrd wrong.


I found his Fark handle.
 
2013-05-06 03:16:53 PM  

Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?


Presented by Sergio Leone.
 
2013-05-06 03:16:53 PM  
Do they even have ANY original members left?

upload.wikimedia.org

Looks like one.

Brother, I am disappoint.
 
2013-05-06 03:24:14 PM  
Sad. 1 original member does not a skynyrd make.
 
2013-05-06 03:24:45 PM  

Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?


Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?
 
2013-05-06 03:26:36 PM  

macadamnut: Some Bass Playing Guy: Farce-Side: Wow, what a huge step down.  From the Black Crowes to fake Lynard Skynard.  That's where drugs will get you kids.  Playing for a shiatty band that rips of the songs and the name of the lead singer's brothers band.

Nice. You not only bash the current incarnation of Skynyrd, you also manage to spell Lynyrd Skynyrd wrong.

I found his Fark handle.


Holy crap, I could almost believe it.
 
2013-05-06 03:26:45 PM  

megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?


If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?
 
2013-05-06 03:30:34 PM  
Jack DANIEL'S
As in, possessed by/owned by Jack Daniel.
 
2013-05-06 03:31:18 PM  
I lost 120 pounds with Tae Bo and cocaine.
 
2013-05-06 03:32:28 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?


An assload is more than hella much, but less than a metric buttload.
 
2013-05-06 03:33:32 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?


Depends on the ass and the situation.

One prison assload = $1,000
One "oh fark the cops are behind us" assload (giving you the benefit of the doubt) = $750
One "just curious" assload = $500
*One "I don't do anal" lying girlfriend assload = $350

*discounted because I saw her naked before you did and I feel bad.
 
2013-05-06 03:33:38 PM  

Some Bass Playing Guy: Farce-Side: Wow, what a huge step down.  From the Black Crowes to fake Lynard Skynard.  That's where drugs will get you kids.  Playing for a shiatty band that rips of the songs and the name of the lead singer's brothers band.

Nice. You not only bash the current incarnation of Skynyrd, you also manage to spell Lynyrd Skynyrd wrong.


Lynard Skynard is the official Fark spelling.  Get with the program already.
 
2013-05-06 03:34:30 PM  

MFAWG: FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?

An assload is more than hella much, but less than a metric buttload.


And don't forget, a metric assload is also called an arseload.
 
2013-05-06 03:36:37 PM  
Another one of those gone-to-seed ancient superbands I have no desire to see.
 
2013-05-06 03:36:45 PM  

thorthor: Sad. 1 original member does not a skynyrd make.


Damn sure don't. And they've gotten so religio-political trying to appeal to the derp crowd that it's pathetic
 
2013-05-06 03:38:20 PM  
and the next unit of measurement after the metric buttload is the shiat-ton.
 
2013-05-06 03:38:40 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: MFAWG: FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?

An assload is more than hella much, but less than a metric buttload.

And don't forget, a metric assload is also called an arseload.


So, when does an assload become a shiatload?
 
2013-05-06 03:40:03 PM  
The is no Lynyrd Skynyrd. There ain't been since 1977. What you farkers are talking about is a "tribute" band ghoulishly profiting from dead people's talent.
 
2013-05-06 03:40:33 PM  

Stephen_Falken: and the next unit of measurement after the metric buttload is the shiat-ton.


Next after that is the fnckbucket.
 
2013-05-06 03:45:49 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Pants full of macaroni!!: MFAWG: FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?

An assload is more than hella much, but less than a metric buttload.

And don't forget, a metric assload is also called an arseload.

So, when does an assload become a shiatload?


After it gets removed
 
2013-05-06 03:48:29 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Pants full of macaroni!!: MFAWG: FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?

An assload is more than hella much, but less than a metric buttload.

And don't forget, a metric assload is also called an arseload.

So, when does an assload become a shiatload?


When you factor in total Taco Bell consumption divided by hours post consumption upon removal. Usually in units on 10. So kind of like metric.
 
2013-05-06 03:49:04 PM  

biyaaatci: Do they even have ANY original members left?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 800x660]

Looks like one.

Brother, I am disappoint.


Wow, I didn't realize that it was only one.  Sheesh, they really are just a tribute/cover band.
 
2013-05-06 03:51:50 PM  

downstairs: biyaaatci: Do they even have ANY original members left?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 800x660]

Looks like one.

Brother, I am disappoint.

Wow, I didn't realize that it was only one.  Sheesh, they really are just a tribute/cover band.


You think that's bad? Not one single original member of any major professional sports team still plays.
 
2013-05-06 03:52:17 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Pants full of macaroni!!: MFAWG: FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?

An assload is more than hella much, but less than a metric buttload.

And don't forget, a metric assload is also called an arseload.

So, when does an assload become a shiatload?


and when does a shiatload become a shiat ton
 
2013-05-06 03:52:36 PM  

downstairs: biyaaatci: Do they even have ANY original members left?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 800x660]

Looks like one.

Brother, I am disappoint.

Wow, I didn't realize that it was only one.  Sheesh, they really are just a tribute/cover band.


At least the Allman Brothers still have 3 original members left.

And Warren Haynes.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-05-06 03:54:29 PM  

Rhypskallion: Main tab?  Really?


Only if it's very, very important news!
 
2013-05-06 03:55:13 PM  

Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?


It depends on how much he likes your fellatio.
 
2013-05-06 04:02:56 PM  

megarian: FirstNationalBastard: Pants full of macaroni!!: MFAWG: FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?

An assload is more than hella much, but less than a metric buttload.

And don't forget, a metric assload is also called an arseload.

So, when does an assload become a shiatload?

When you factor in total Taco Bell consumption divided by hours post consumption upon removal. Usually in units on 10. So kind of like metric.


Nobody eats when they're on a coke bender.  Especially not taco bell.
 
2013-05-06 04:11:19 PM  

OgreMagi: megarian: FirstNationalBastard: Pants full of macaroni!!: MFAWG: FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?

An assload is more than hella much, but less than a metric buttload.

And don't forget, a metric assload is also called an arseload.

So, when does an assload become a shiatload?

When you factor in total Taco Bell consumption divided by hours post consumption upon removal. Usually in units on 10. So kind of like metric.

Nobody eats when they're on a coke bender.  Especially not taco bell.


You eat BEFORE because you know you're about to do an assload of coke. You know you won't be eating for a while and the probability of consuming vodka increased expomentially per teener (1/16 of an oz) insufflated.

I recommend Bloody Mary's for the nutritional value. And because I farking love hot sauce.
 
2013-05-06 04:15:20 PM  
*exponentially

/drunk.
//probably on coke, too because Skynyrd
 
2013-05-06 04:16:53 PM  
Skynyrd have become the Beach Boys of southern rock. I saw them 10 years ago because I wanted to see Billy Powell. The man was a god of rock n roll piano and worth the price of a ticket alone. Now that he's gone I won't be seeing them again.
It's funny that no one whines for the original Rush line up. There's a reason for that.
 
2013-05-06 04:19:32 PM  
His job is to show up and play songs on bass,

He completely farked that up.

This guy SUCKS.
 
2013-05-06 04:24:50 PM  

redsquid: Skynyrd have become the Beach Boys of southern rock. I saw them 10 years ago because I wanted to see Billy Powell. The man was a god of rock n roll piano and worth the price of a ticket alone. Now that he's gone I won't be seeing them again.
It's funny that no one whines for the original Rush line up. There's a reason for that.


They're in delusion to believe that Rush is still "good".
 
2013-05-06 04:30:35 PM  
Saw the guys twice before the crash.

They sucked both times.
 
2013-05-06 04:42:15 PM  
I'll give him props for a well written (by drug addled bassist standards) confessional
 
2013-05-06 04:46:45 PM  

biyaaatci: Do they even have ANY original members left?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 800x660]

Looks like one.

Brother, I am disappoint.


there is also the Artimus Pyle band who has exactly the same amount of original Skynyrd members meaning just Pyle himself. They tour and play the same songs if you don't mind the fact that Artimus molested his small children
 
2013-05-06 04:48:07 PM  

douchebag/hater: Saw the guys twice before the crash.

They sucked both times.


So...There dead.And your glad there dead.
 
2013-05-06 04:51:16 PM  
Gary Rossington can call any band he's in Lynyrd  Skynyrd if he want to.
He's got that right.

/Sho' got that right.
 
2013-05-06 04:57:13 PM  
I saw them back in the late 70s.....think I was around 17 or so.  It wasn't their last show before the crash, but the show before the last.  I recall getting dressed for school a day or so later, and my sister came in and asked which band I had seen a couple nites before.  When I said LS, she said had heard on the radio that a band went down in a plane crash and she thought it was them.

It was an awesome concert....and I'm not even a fan, never had any of their records.  But I had played Sweet Home Alabama in a couple of cover bands, and I loved those guitar solos on that song.

Looking back, it was pretty boss.  Ronnie was barefoot at the mic.  All three guitarists took exceptional time tune up between each and every song.  Billy ruled the keys as usual.  Artemus Pyle was still drumming with the group.

And I hooked up with a hot chick at the show and we made out pretty much to whole night.

Good times.....damn good times.
 
2013-05-06 04:58:23 PM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: FirstNationalBastard: Pants full of macaroni!!: MFAWG: FirstNationalBastard: megarian: Ponzholio: I didn't know a 'fistful' was the accepted unit of measurement for cocaine... I mean, do you go to your coke dealer and say "Give me a fistful of coke."?

Sure. That'll be $200.

Wait...are you a cop?

If a fistful is $200, how much is an assload?

Or is assload a muleing-only measurement?

An assload is more than hella much, but less than a metric buttload.

And don't forget, a metric assload is also called an arseload.

So, when does an assload become a shiatload?

After it gets removed


Is it me, or is this a George Carlin routine?
 
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