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(WTOP)   The lack of Entwives turns out to make Ents rather irritable; and if they ain't happy, you ain't happy   (wtop.com) divider line 33
    More: Interesting, Entwives, McGrath, allergies  
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6218 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2013 at 9:59 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-06 08:41:47 AM
the men are frustrated and they just keep shooting it into the air all season long

It happens.
 
2013-05-06 10:01:10 AM

The lack of Entwives turns out to make Ents rather irritable; and if they ain't happy, you ain't happy


And if they Ent happy, you Ent happy.
 
2013-05-06 10:01:10 AM
So much wood to pick from, ladies! Get to it!
 
2013-05-06 10:02:11 AM
It's not that there aren't any Entwives, it's just that the Ents don't know where they are.  If you've actually read the books the Entwives are mentioned, in present tense, in passing.  They're just all pissy at the Ents still.

/trees can hold a grudge like nobody's business
 
2013-05-06 10:04:58 AM
 
2013-05-06 10:05:17 AM
www.neebeep.com
 
2013-05-06 10:05:22 AM

Dalek Caan's doomed mistress: It's not that there aren't any Entwives, it's just that the Ents don't know where they are.  If you've actually read the books the Entwives are mentioned, in present tense, in passing.  They're just all pissy at the Ents still.

/trees can hold a grudge like nobody's business


Hoooommmmm hoooommmmm.....let's not be hasty here.
 
2013-05-06 10:09:58 AM
Oh come on.

For all the male trees know, they are blowing their pollon load all over the face of an Asian coed wearing a plaid miniskirt.
 
2013-05-06 10:12:28 AM
Maybe the male trees need more rubber trees.
 
2013-05-06 10:21:23 AM
"The female ginkgoes drop their fruit, which smells bad

Smells bad? No, it smells EXACTLY like dog shiat. Ginko berries smell like dog shiat. You can peel off the fruit and fry the seeds and those are good. But the meat of the fruit smells like dog shiat.

Say it it with me: dog shiat dog shiat dog shiat.
 
2013-05-06 10:23:14 AM
Yeah, I've been cut down many a time due to my horrible odour. Goddamn men still keep shooting it into the air, though.
 
2013-05-06 10:24:25 AM
Didn't we have this thread a year or so ago?  I remember the phrase "arboreal sausage fest" being used.

/blame the developers who want pretty, flowering trees, but not berries that stain the sidewalk and cars
//fark you developers
 
2013-05-06 10:27:08 AM
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
I'm sure nothing bad can come of this.
 
2013-05-06 10:31:00 AM
Screw the trees! The cicadas are coming!
 
2013-05-06 10:31:04 AM
 
2013-05-06 10:36:23 AM
I've got a huge flowering tree in my backward I call the cum tree, because it smells like ninety of my closest friends jerked off into a bucket of chlorine after doing situps in the hot sun.

Anyone know what kind of tree it actually is?  The funny thing about it is about half the people I asked to smell the tree INSTANTLY identify it as smelling like cum, and the other half can't smell the connection even after pointing it out.  There's got to be some weird enzyme recessive action going on with the smell of it, as well.
 
2013-05-06 10:36:57 AM
Case of blue leaves?

/bust a twig
 
2013-05-06 10:49:17 AM
I do knot understand the problem.  Yew wood think the males trees pine for their mates, and the females trees' love for them is evergreen.
 
2013-05-06 10:52:14 AM

Mr Guy: I've got a huge flowering tree in my backward I call the cum tree, because it smells like ninety of my closest friends jerked off into a bucket of chlorine after doing situps in the hot sun.

Anyone know what kind of tree it actually is?  The funny thing about it is about half the people I asked to smell the tree INSTANTLY identify it as smelling like cum, and the other half can't smell the connection even after pointing it out.  There's got to be some weird enzyme recessive action going on with the smell of it, as well.


Came to say almost this exact thing. Wondering what kind of tree it is. Also called it the cum tree. And, yes, some people fail to make the connection.
 
2013-05-06 10:54:00 AM
images.community.wizards.com
 
2013-05-06 10:59:57 AM

fnordest: Came to say almost this exact thing. Wondering what kind of tree it is. Also called it the cum tree. And, yes, some people fail to make the connection.


Incidentally, up north they have trees like that, called Callery Pears.  Apparently a lot of pears give off the chlorine smell that some people associated with a bag of old spunk.  My tree isn't, though.  It's shaped more like a willow, with long tall limps that start out growing up, and eventually bend into a massive umbrella canopy.  A massive, spunk smelling canopy.  It smells like someone wet mopped every strip club bathroom in Las Vegas and dumped the brown water all over a beautiful white tree with tiny, tiny berry like flowers.

Then, when the flowers are gone, it drops a fine white blanket of tiny white petals, and begins watching porn to save up for next year, or something.
 
2013-05-06 11:00:01 AM
Couldn't they just play with their Entwistle?

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_E ntwistle
 
2013-05-06 11:07:51 AM
There is unrest in the forest, there is trouble with the trees ...

http://youtu.be/UWHEcIbhDiw

/#1
//The Larch
 
2013-05-06 11:15:07 AM

Mr Guy: I've got a huge flowering tree in my backward I call the cum tree, because it smells like ninety of my closest friends jerked off into a bucket of chlorine after doing situps in the hot sun.

Anyone know what kind of tree it actually is?  The funny thing about it is about half the people I asked to smell the tree INSTANTLY identify it as smelling like cum, and the other half can't smell the connection even after pointing it out.  There's got to be some weird enzyme recessive action going on with the smell of it, as well.


Pear tree. Especially the non-fruiting kinds used in city plantings.
 
2013-05-06 11:26:26 AM
History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man.
 
2013-05-06 11:48:31 AM
The logic in this article is preposterous. Once pollen leaves a male tree, the tree has no way of knowing if it successfully fertilized a female tree. Male trees have to balance their resources between keeping themselves alive and producing as much pollen as they can. They always have an incentive to maximize their pollen output, no matter how many females are present.
 
2013-05-06 12:03:18 PM

Tommy Moo: The logic in this article is preposterous. Once pollen leaves a male tree, the tree has no way of knowing if it successfully fertilized a female tree. Male trees have to balance their resources between keeping themselves alive and producing as much pollen as they can. They always have an incentive to maximize their pollen output, no matter how many females are present.


Except the article says nothing about individual trees producing more pollen.

...many of the female trees are killed due to their unpleasant odor.

With a smaller female tree population, areas are seeing more male trees


But "More Male Trees Mean More Pollen" doesn't allow for the word "sex" in the headline, and it doesn't end up on Fark.
 
2013-05-06 12:35:25 PM

Tommy Moo: The logic in this article is preposterous. Once pollen leaves a male tree, the tree has no way of knowing if it successfully fertilized a female tree. Male trees have to balance their resources between keeping themselves alive and producing as much pollen as they can. They always have an incentive to maximize their pollen output, no matter how many females are present.


It's not that the male trees are doing anything different, it's that no one is planting any female trees anymore, so a larger percentage of the trees in any given area is producing the pollen. = More pollen.

Sybarite: Tommy Moo: The logic in this article is preposterous. Once pollen leaves a male tree, the tree has no way of knowing if it successfully fertilized a female tree. Male trees have to balance their resources between keeping themselves alive and producing as much pollen as they can. They always have an incentive to maximize their pollen output, no matter how many females are present.

Except the article says nothing about individual trees producing more pollen.

...many of the female trees are killed due to their unpleasant odor.

With a smaller female tree population, areas are seeing more male trees

But "More Male Trees Mean More Pollen" doesn't allow for the word "sex" in the headline, and it doesn't end up on Fark.


Dunno... without females, the sex could be described as either gay or masturbational, both of which would end up on Fark.
 
2013-05-06 01:05:38 PM
People used to eat the fruit of trees.  I know it seems complex, how you might get fruit from a local tree to a processing plant where they spray it with a wax coating, and then have it shipped to your grocery store, where you can pick up a dozen for just 19.99$.
 
2013-05-06 01:06:58 PM

Sybarite: Tommy Moo: The logic in this article is preposterous. Once pollen leaves a male tree, the tree has no way of knowing if it successfully fertilized a female tree. Male trees have to balance their resources between keeping themselves alive and producing as much pollen as they can. They always have an incentive to maximize their pollen output, no matter how many females are present.

Except the article says nothing about individual trees producing more pollen.

...many of the female trees are killed due to their unpleasant odor.

With a smaller female tree population, areas are seeing more male trees

But "More Male Trees Mean More Pollen" doesn't allow for the word "sex" in the headline, and it doesn't end up on Fark.


Good point. I was picturing the argument that the male trees were "trying harder" because they could somehow sense that females were getting rarer.
 
2013-05-06 01:22:15 PM
Hooooooom! Maybe they are just farking instead.
Seriously, does the article think that the female trees are supposed to light up a cigarette so the males know its time to stop? Do we need to convince a maple to fake a cherry orgasm?

/ent
//also unhappy.

Oh there's unrest in the forest
there is trouble with the trees
for the ginkgoes are getting nothing
can you stop the pollen please
 
2013-05-06 02:18:23 PM

LabGrrl: Pear tree. Especially the non-fruiting kinds used in city plantings


Yeah, that's all I can find.  This one clearly has the same KIND of smell, and similar compounds, but definitely isn't a pear tree.  It doesn't fruit, and doesn't have large flowers.  It's got more of a "weeping" shape, and millions of clusters of berry like flowers.  There's apparently quite a few trees with a certain chlorine spunk odor, I just can't figure out what kind MINE is.
 
2013-05-06 03:45:11 PM
mensconfidence.com

Shakin' the twig here, boss.
 
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