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(National Post)   If you understand this, you might be a Canadian   (arts.nationalpost.com) divider line 73
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5541 clicks; posted to Geek » on 05 May 2013 at 5:56 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-05 03:36:08 PM
you mean a Chechnean?
 
2013-05-05 03:43:12 PM
That's trying a little too hard. Ok, way too hard.

/Canadian
 
2013-05-05 03:47:11 PM

Rev.K: That's trying a little too hard. Ok, way too hard.

/Canadian


More Newfie slang than anything.  And Cthulhu knows they don't speak English.
 
2013-05-05 03:52:00 PM
He lost me at keener.
 
2013-05-05 03:58:49 PM

Rev.K: That's trying a little too hard. Ok, way too hard.


Bidini is a gimmick writer. See also: the column with every sentence starting with "I"; one with only 7-syllable sentences; one written solely in the 3rd person.... he's big on literary masturbation.
 
2013-05-05 04:27:08 PM

Bob_Laublaw: Rev.K: That's trying a little too hard. Ok, way too hard.

Bidini is a gimmick writer. See also: the column with every sentence starting with "I"; one with only 7-syllable sentences; one written solely in the 3rd person.... he's big on literary masturbation.


Yeah, but it's Dave-farking-Bidini.  For giving the world Rheostatics, he get's a lifetime pass.

/played road hockey against Dave Bidini once
 
2013-05-05 04:32:29 PM
There's a reason they're called Goofy Newfies.
 
2013-05-05 05:03:26 PM
From now on, I wish to be known as The Reeve of Dildo.
 
2013-05-05 05:11:29 PM
 
2013-05-05 05:55:16 PM
I liked the Dead Rear reference.

/subby
 
2013-05-05 06:02:54 PM
Rowsdower?
 
2013-05-05 06:07:24 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

Could somebody please translate that mess?
 
2013-05-05 06:08:44 PM
I couldn't get through that.  I am Canadian, but that read like one of those idiotic paragraphs that people try to put together from random song titles.
 
2013-05-05 06:10:05 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Rev.K: That's trying a little too hard. Ok, way too hard.

/Canadian

More Newfie slang than anything.  And Cthulhu knows they don't speak English.


Dammit. All the seaside communities. Cthulhu. You've figured it out.

Also, mmmm, Vachon snack cake products. Jos Louis. May West. Ah Caramel.
 
2013-05-05 06:10:10 PM

unyon: Yeah, but it's Dave-farking-Bidini.  For giving the world Rheostatics, he get's a lifetime pass.


I missed that it was Bidini!  The Rheostatics are one of my top ten favourite bands of all time.
 
2013-05-05 06:18:20 PM
What in the fark did I just read
 
2013-05-05 06:21:44 PM
Do you enjoy the companionship of dogs?
 
2013-05-05 06:21:51 PM

Dragonflew: unyon: Yeah, but it's Dave-farking-Bidini.  For giving the world Rheostatics, he get's a lifetime pass.

I missed that it was Bidini!  The Rheostatics are one of my top ten favourite bands of all time.


"...and listen to the Rheostatics play..."

If you understand that you are from Toronto
 
2013-05-05 06:23:40 PM
 
2013-05-05 06:25:12 PM
I got my hopes up last year when Dave was ranting about a bunch of Canadian artists being ignored in a Juno retrospective, and he mentioned calling Martin and getting the band back together.  Sadly, that did not happen.
 
2013-05-05 06:25:18 PM
A little help with some translations:

imageshack.us
 
2013-05-05 06:41:55 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Rev.K: That's trying a little too hard. Ok, way too hard.

/Canadian

More Newfie slang than anything.  And Cthulhu knows they don't speak English.


The further east you go in Canada the stronger the accent, and the greater the alcohol intake. Newfoundland would be the peak, but Cape Breton is a close second.

This guy is still trying too hard, though. The true accent/dialect is much better.
 
2013-05-05 06:43:24 PM
My Canadian Hubby says "Newfie speak is not equal to Canadian English"

What the fark is a bus shagger?  Not even urban dictionary has that.
 
2013-05-05 06:44:37 PM

Tatsuma: What in the fark did I just read


Your answer can be found earlier in the thread:

Bob_Laublaw: he's big on literary masturbation.


Or to paraphrase Lisa Simpson, "I know those words but that article makes no sense".
 
2013-05-05 06:45:10 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

/Texan
 
2013-05-05 07:18:28 PM
got aboot 3 lines in and nope'd the fark out of thre, eh.
sorry.
 
2013-05-05 07:23:18 PM
Not Canadian, but I did read Dave Bidini's (the author of TFA) book Tropic of Hockey.

Great book.  All hockey fans should read it.
 
2013-05-05 07:30:51 PM

FunkOut: Benevolent Misanthrope: Rev.K: That's trying a little too hard. Ok, way too hard.

/Canadian

More Newfie slang than anything.  And Cthulhu knows they don't speak English.

Dammit. All the seaside communities. Cthulhu. You've figured it out.

Also, mmmm, Vachon snack cake products. Jos Louis. May West. Ah Caramel.


Miami cakes FTW!
 
2013-05-05 07:40:05 PM
RockofAges:Newfoundland English is the bomb, b'y. Also, Canadians do well to have Newfoundland on board, they're the kindest hearted and least pretentious province in Confederation. Also they are the hardest partiers.

How we drink beer in Canada.
 
2013-05-05 07:43:16 PM
Canadian, and I don't understand any of that.
 
2013-05-05 08:03:14 PM
Canuckian - grew up in Cambridge Ontario with half of frickin' Belle Isle - understood aboot 75% there, by.
Tundering geeze, dat wuz a full load o' slang!
 
2013-05-05 08:05:33 PM
bus shagger=
grabbing bumper of bus on snowy day and getting towed down the street.
bumper hitching is the same, used to go shaggin behind a bus down yonge st when i was a kid
 
2013-05-05 08:15:16 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: you mean a Chechnean?


Jean Chechnian was a horrible Prime Minister, but then Liberals ended up replacing him for a time with Jarome Iginla, now it's the son of a former PM, Justin Mulroney, who's leading the Liberals further into obscurity.

It's all happening according to the prophecy.
 
2013-05-05 08:18:15 PM
I was able to follow most of that. Some of the Newfie Slang was over my head though.

/from Edmonchuck
 
2013-05-05 08:44:27 PM

jimpapa: bus shagger=
grabbing bumper of bus on snowy day and getting towed down the street.
bumper hitching is the same, used to go shaggin behind a bus down yonge st when i was a kid


Thank you kind sir!
 
2013-05-05 08:51:54 PM
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN
 
2013-05-05 08:56:24 PM

Bob_Laublaw: Jean Chechnian was a horrible Prime Minister, but then Liberals ended up replacing him for a time with Jarome Iginla, now it's the son of a former PM, Justin Mulroney, who's leading the Liberals further into obscurity.

It's all happening according to the prophecy.


Apparently you missed Trudeau II, the Trudeauening.
 
2013-05-05 09:17:54 PM

Doc Daneeka: Not Canadian, but I did read Dave Bidini's (the author of TFA) book Tropic of Hockey.

Great book.  All hockey fans should read it.


I like the cut of your jib.  Although, I presume you're from Buffalo, so that's like honourary Canadian citizenship anyways.
 
2013-05-05 09:40:47 PM

Number1Fan: He lost me at keener.


Keener is a word I learned at college. It means a girley swot (UK). That is to say, somebody who is keen on their school work.

Spongebob Squarepants is a keener. Martin Prince is a keener and also the type of kid who reminds the teacher that she hasn't assigned home work.
 
2013-05-05 09:41:33 PM
swaniefrmreddeer: I liked the Dead Rear reference.

I liked the Edmonchuck reference.
 
2013-05-05 09:43:59 PM
I grew up an hour from the border, so I was able to pick up on some of that. Probably because we could pick up CBC over the lake in Western NY.

/mmm, back bacon
 
2013-05-05 09:44:57 PM
I'm not sure what a reeve is in Dildo, Newfoundland, but I learned from my genealogy that a reeve is a village or town official, so I assume it is much like a councilman or ward man.

A hog reeve is the village or town official whose responsibility was to round up loose hogs and to fine the owner for damages to other people's property. Today they would be called an Animal Control Officer. Reeves performed many other petty offices in old timey communities. The job was often given to a keener or somebody unpopular who wouldn't or couldn't refuse.
 
2013-05-05 09:51:42 PM
Hold on, I didn't think it was possible to 'cherry pick' someone. It is possible for someone to cherry pick and go unnoticed.

Or does it mean something different in eastern Canada vs west?
 
2013-05-05 09:52:23 PM
I forgot to mention that I learned the term reeve from my New England genealogy, not Maritimes or Newfoundland family history. The job came over from Old England to the Colonies. It probably survived in Newfoundland because in many outports (small fishing ports) they build fences to keep lifestock out, not to keep them in because it saved on wood and labour. Thus wandering pigs and other lifestock could break into gardens, orchards, homes, etc., and cause damage long after they were penned in most of the rest of the world.

It's amazing what you can learn from a close study of your family.

Here's something I have on a magnet at work:

"Happiness is a large, loving, close-knit family in a another city."--George Burns. Yes, that George Buns, Charles Montgomery Burn's little brother. "It'll be funny when I am old."

George Burns was a very wise man. And rich, too. And he lived to be a hundred and something. Possibly because he stopped smoking that cigar around sixty or seventy and used it as a comic prop for the next thirty years or so.
 
2013-05-05 09:57:27 PM
There's not enough maple syrup in the world to make me want to read that entire thing.
 
2013-05-05 09:58:14 PM

swaniefrmreddeer: I liked the Dead Rear reference.

/subby


I think this is a fond nick name for Red Deer, Alberta, a place so white that it has virulent anti-Semitism although there has probably never been a Jew within 100 miles of Red Deer. Funny how that works.

When I was a kid I lived in a village. One day a black man drove up to the village store and went inside to ask for directions the Hell out of there. I followed him into the store to see what would happen. Surprisingly, he got some smokes and directions.

Reminds me of an Alberta joke:

What do you call a black man in Calgary?

A tourist.

That comes from a book of Canadian jokes by an American, entitled The Retarded Giant.

Despite being one of the funniest nations on Earth, we can't think of our own jokes and have to have Americans write them. At least it was true then. The CBC discovered that comedy was cheap to produce shortly thereafter and the rest is a Canadian History Vignette.
 
2013-05-05 10:04:47 PM
Q. What's black and blue and floats in Saint John Harbour?

A. A Mainlander who tells Newfie Jokes.

They probably have that one in San Francisco with slightly different wording, also.

Chesterfield is a couch or sofa. It has straight legs, as Louis XVth was in style when it was invented.

It was invented at a furniture factory owned by Lord Chesterfield, who is also known for his cynical, witty, and upper class advice to his son, Lord Stanhope, who was a famous Upper Class Twit of the day. Chesterfields also became a brand of cigarettes. If you were hip, you could sit on a Chesterfield, smoking your Chesterfields, and reading Chesterfield.

My parents had a Chesterfield in the 1960s. Everybody had them in the 1960s. Some people who bought all their furniture when they married in the 1960s still have them, spotless and like new, under plastic in living rooms that are called that because nobody living has ever been allowed in them. The last time they were open to the general public (and members of the household) was the time the Archbishop dropped by to ask directions to the Priest House.
 
2013-05-05 10:11:45 PM
Even without Google or Wikipedia, I seem to know everything for some reason, which I can not quite fathom. I am, as my French Canadian cousins migh say, a Joseph Tout-Savant (Joe Know-It All).

Eat your heart out John Swartzwelder.

I like to say that I have lived through every century from the XVth to thee XXIst. That's easy to do in New Brunswick, Canada, trust me. There are people living in the mind-set of Cotton Mather, which is not all that unusual in the Bible Belt, but there are also people who make Cotton Mather look avant-garde and a real cut-up.

I've seen and done things that have died out even in the Old Timey parts of New England and Old England several hundred years ago. And you can add New and Old France to the list. I should probably have become a historian, folklorist, or at least an anthropologist. Some of my family are distinctly anthropoidal.
 
2013-05-05 10:13:23 PM
Hear about the Newfie that broke his arm raking leaves?

Fell out of a tree.
 
2013-05-05 10:20:11 PM

shortymac: My Canadian Hubby says "Newfie speak is not equal to Canadian English"

What the fark is a bus shagger?  Not even urban dictionary has that.


General Canadian, the Canadian equivalent of BBC English or General American, can be from Saint John's Harbour to Victoria and from Point Peel to Inuvik. The country is small  enough (in terms of population) and young enough (in most places), to have one dialect.

But in Newfoundland, the Maritimes and most rural areas, there are pockets of people descended from the original American or British or European settlers, and they are a mosaic of cultural and linguistic particularisms.

The author of this article clearly got his hands on the Dictionary of Newfoundland English and supplemented it with slang he has run into in his travels as a musician. But you can hear the accents of Old Ireland, of Scotland, of the West of France, and of many other places in small villages and towns, or in the farm belt, from one end of this land to any of the others.

Sometimes when I go Back East to visit my family, I am shocked by the accents of the local people. They seem to be changing (at least in the shop clerk and gas jockey classes) and some of them sound quite alien to me. I think it may be the influence of Maine radio stations (country and gospel, with a smattering of rock from about ten years ago). Some of it sounds quite harsh and unpleasant, and the grammar would greatly interest a linguist. Teachers don't even bother to correct the stupid farm boys any more.
 
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