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(   Zilwaukee, Michigan men over the age of 21 must grow a beard until June, or pay for a $10 permit to not have a beard   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
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20844 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2003 at 12:55 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

158 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-12-31 01:39:31 AM  
it is michigan state law that a mwn owns his wifes hair. she is by law, supposed to ask her husbands permission to get a haircut. wacky michigan.
2003-12-31 01:39:58 AM  
No fine for these guys:

[image from too old to be available]

/what a dumb law...better call the ACLU!
2003-12-31 01:40:53 AM  
Flint > Zilwaukee and their beard laws.

/this is my approved link, don't disagree with me
2003-12-31 01:40:58 AM  
On the towns website is written this:

"Zilwaukee was begun in 1848 when brothers Daniel and Solomon Johnson from New York built a saw mill here. Officially organized 10 years later, the Johnsons gave the name to the town purposely to cause people to confuse it with the city of Milwaukee, in hopes of luring immigrants here to work."

So basically, all the townspeople are the descendants of illiterate and easily confused immigrants.
2003-12-31 01:41:41 AM  
My beard is on my balls.
2003-12-31 01:47:47 AM  

i have been misled for all my life. a very very very very very small piece of my life.

"So basically, all the townspeople are the descendants of illiterate and easily confused immigrants."

not quite, people move in and out of there all the time because of cheap land prices. you'd be hard pressed to trace a family that has lived there for more than 40 years.
2003-12-31 01:52:04 AM  
this beard law will not in any way be enforced.
2003-12-31 02:03:41 AM  
Only thing in Zilwaulkee is a farkin huge bridge. And its a complete waste, because when they built it they expected to have huge freighters travelling under it and such, but there are hardly ever any freighters that travel that way any more because the gravel industry pretty much died or some bullshiat.

//Long sentence
2003-12-31 02:06:30 AM  
Yup, was the only draw bridge, or umm 'stop light enforced' spot on I-75...

675 was built during the construction of the new bridge, and just kind of stuck around..

(Note: Just what has been implanted in my head, maybe not be true)
2003-12-31 02:08:03 AM  
I really freaking hate the Zilwaukee bridge.

I really freaking hate Zilwaukee.

Terrorists plz? kthx
2003-12-31 02:17:56 AM  
I would so not do this. My gramma on the other hand...well shes a natural.
2003-12-31 02:20:39 AM  
Why am I from Michigan?
2003-12-31 02:30:17 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Bad PS - However, gives an idea of what we are dealing with here.
2003-12-31 02:33:01 AM  
It has to be said:

If you outlaw beards, only outlaws will have beards.
2003-12-31 02:35:14 AM  
did some1 say outlaw?

...and isnt it spelled milwaukee?
2003-12-31 02:40:15 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

ZZ Top says, "Beard it."
2003-12-31 02:47:17 AM  
"It has to be said:

If you outlaw beards, only outlaws will have beards."

Seeing as how those who have beards would be the ones in compliance with the asinine law, I don't think it had to be said at all.
2003-12-31 02:58:27 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-31 02:58:34 AM  
land of the free, indeed
2003-12-31 03:09:47 AM  
I lived there for 363 days. Not that I was counting or anything. We started looking to leave as soon as we got there. Set a goal of one year. Had to walk out on my job to make it happen.
Damn what a mistake that place was.
2003-12-31 03:15:03 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-31 03:17:22 AM  
Good job on the Family Guy, robotninja, a great episode!
2003-12-31 03:27:49 AM  
Trash_Tablone2000: Zilwaukee sounds like Milwaukee's evil twin.

You mean like the Bearded Spock and all the rest?
2003-12-31 03:28:36 AM  
A $10 fee to NOT grow a beard? I can't wait to see the court challenges on this one.
2003-12-31 03:30:41 AM  
Baffling, why don't they try to fine evolution before allowing men younger than 21 for being able to grow beards.
2003-12-31 03:48:23 AM  
No senses of humor allowed in this thread.

2003-12-31 04:10:55 AM  
I expect a hair-raising court case from this one.
2003-12-31 04:23:04 AM  
They can take my razor from my cold dead hands!

DrMetallica "Does this look like a Q to you? How about now?"
2003-12-31 04:35:00 AM  
You all forgot the best part of the article!

"Residents may obtain a permit to abstain from beard-growing for $10 through Saturday, Jan. 17. They cost $11 after that"

Think anyone wanted to keep their face clean shaven, but missed the Jan. 17th deadline, so thought "shiat, now it'll cost me so much that I might as well just grow the damn thing!"

Personally, I'd love for this law to take effect, just so my lazy ass could not shave for 6 months and get away with it. =D
2003-12-31 04:41:39 AM  
The problem with this is that I look too much like a wino when I don't shave, and I scare women and young children.
2003-12-31 04:45:35 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-31 05:38:13 AM  

I would so not do this. My gramma on the other hand...well shes a natural.

you would do your gramma?
2003-12-31 05:44:21 AM  
They should have that law for women. *drool*

What is it like a Muslim town or something? I remember there being laws like that in the Middle East.
2003-12-31 06:00:06 AM  

I'd do his gramma.. she brings new meaning to the acronym GILF.
2003-12-31 06:44:00 AM  
Good god, imagine if you were just a renter, attracted to the strange sounding named town because it was halfway between work and your girlfriend. Now all of a sudden you have to conform to it's idiotic 150 year celebration bullshiat.

I had a similiar problem when I lived in a small one stoplight quaint village in northeast Ohio. I didn't care about their town, their high school football team, their taxes, their parades, or anything else. I didn't think I should have been inclined to - I'm just a renter, not a homeowner there with a family.

The rent was right and the commute to work was right. But they gave me voting privledges and forced me to pay their village taxes so I routinely turned down everything that would result in an increased village spending.

Then, the homecoming parade that was to take place the year right before I moved away, was cancelled. Sure, it was probably because of more significant financial reasons, but I hoped that it was my one single vote (out of maybe 500 residents) to NOT block off "our" single village road (i.e. the road where my apartment complex parking lot fed into) for that weekend which made a difference.
2003-12-31 06:46:11 AM  
Things to watch for on ebay on June 7th include: Taliban action figures with "Real Hair", "Beard-Stuffed Zilwaukee Pillows", "Zilwaukee Rasta Braids".
2003-12-31 07:10:17 AM  
"This is all about fun and games," he said. "We don't want to make anybody mad."

Obviously he has never met a Farker. Farkers hate fun and games.
Unless there's boobies and beer involved, in which case it's okay.
2003-12-31 07:53:42 AM  
>>Let's just hope Zilwaukee doesn't decide to come out with their own beer. Zilwaukee's best? Shudder.>>

I had a friend who once advised never to drink a beer with either the word "old" or "Milwaukee" in the title. I suppose Zilwaukee could count for that as well.

(Actually, Third Coast Old Ale by Bell's is fantastic...)

And, Mjeaslick989, Fantastic! Made me laugh!
2003-12-31 08:11:09 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-31 08:24:01 AM  
"I don't expect any strong opposition to this," said Councilman Robert M. Bohnsack, a member of the eight-member committee that's planning the Friday through Sunday, June 4-6, celebration. "

Of course not. Why should anyone complain just because they're pissing on the constitution.
2003-12-31 08:37:58 AM  
"This is all about fun and games," he said. "We don't want to make anybody mad." hahahahah too late.

Michigan roll call! I'm from Skaginaw...
2003-12-31 08:43:59 AM  
Who can? The Taliban can....ROFLPIMP.

Someone should send that piece to Arsecroft.
2003-12-31 09:16:58 AM  
just read some more of the thread...
yes, the saginaw area is a terrible place to live. the z-bridge sucks. smaller cars have trouble with it in the winter. nothing to do here. it's a wasteland.
2003-12-31 09:18:07 AM  
rollcall: I'm from Bay City but live in NY now...

So what if a guy said he refused to grow a beard and refused to pay the fine?? Are they gonna put him in jail??? What an absolutely stupid "law" or whatever it is called.
2003-12-31 09:22:07 AM  
2003-12-31 12:59:30 AM RolandOrzabal


Don't forget the fabulous Zew Zork Zity.

There's already a West New York. And it's in New Jersey.
2003-12-31 09:23:31 AM  
So, like, if someone forgets to pay the fine and walks around outside without a beard, are they stopped and handcuffed?
2003-12-31 09:24:28 AM  
Did you people READ the article? FFS. Its a pisstake in a little town based on historical laws. Its really not time to break out the peace flags and start burning your beards in the street.
2003-12-31 09:26:05 AM  
Having lived in Bay City & Saginaw and driven over that bridge a zillion times, I can honestly say it's best to do it when totally stoned.
2003-12-31 09:28:16 AM  
Ive driven over the Zilwaukee bridge dozens of times. I always knew there was something fruity about the people who lived there.
2003-12-31 09:32:29 AM  
yeah, don't take it to seriously. RTFA :p
they state it's just for fun.


I was coming home at 2am one night (years ago) and the z-bridge was covered in ice. I saw a car sliding down backwards towards me (see pics above). he missed me but i nearly shat myself.
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