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(   Zilwaukee, Michigan men over the age of 21 must grow a beard until June, or pay for a $10 permit to not have a beard   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
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20844 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2003 at 12:55 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

158 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-12-30 06:51:54 PM  
there is nothing so comforting as my winters beard
like a pet, right there upon my face
it catches crumbs in unknown sums
'tis never out of place

think of the contented dog
scratching behind its ear
like angelic voice, your chin doth rejoice
as you scratch your contentment endeared

so welcome the friend that you wear about town
so sporty, it goes with it all
and when winter ends, i can't wait to begin
growing my friend next fall
2003-12-30 07:16:52 PM  
Have American cities really sunk so low as to make themselves cheap knockoffs of Milwaukee?
2003-12-30 07:22:51 PM  
I think the Taliban had the same rule, but the penalty may have been more severe.
2003-12-30 07:45:44 PM  
This law is sexist. To make it fair, women should be forbidden to shave their chochas during the same period. Of course, police will need to conduct regular inspections to ensure compliance with the law.
2003-12-30 08:05:29 PM  
I would gladly inspect woman... of course.. only SOME woman would be inspected at very very regular intravals...
2003-12-30 08:19:43 PM  
It's like the movie Waiting for Guffman... only not...

"What the city council did was really give me a challenge, and it's a challenge that I am going to accept. It's like in the olden days, in the days of France, when men would slap each other with their gloves...say, y'know "D'Artagnan!" y'know, "how dare you talk to me like that, you!," and smack 'em!"
2003-12-30 08:45:37 PM  
2003-12-30 07:16:52 PM ElCorridor
Have American cities really sunk so low as to make themselves cheap knockoffs of Milwaukee?

ROFL, I'm waiting for Zetroit and Zleveland.
2003-12-31 12:59:30 AM  

Don't forget the fabulous Zew Zork Zity.
2003-12-31 12:59:57 AM  
This is the dumbest @#$%%ing thing I have ever heard....(this week)
2003-12-31 01:00:03 AM  
I thought they were talking about two states, Zilwaukee (which I assumed was somewhere in Africa) and Michigan.

Then they would have had an actual story. Ah well.
2003-12-31 01:00:46 AM  
Let's grow beards and walk across the bridge!

2003-12-31 01:01:05 AM  
Do they also have to shave their dadonkwa-donk-donk?
2003-12-31 01:02:26 AM  
I am a 21 year old guy, and I don't like to shave, but when I don't for a few days, I begin to look like a hobo.
2003-12-31 01:02:42 AM  
I bet the terrorists have destroyed the towns supply of shaving razors, and this is an attempt by the government to cover things up.
2003-12-31 01:03:51 AM  
So, the city council in that town is taking a page from the Taliban? Next step Burkas for the women unless they pay for a "temptation permit"?
2003-12-31 01:04:15 AM  
In Zilwaukee you can drink only zwill.
2003-12-31 01:05:06 AM  
I guess my joke about Ziladelphia, Zicago and Zeattle won't seem quite so original now... :(
2003-12-31 01:06:30 AM  
I don't care if its in good spirt, people like me don't like to participate in those stupid cute towney things and I would never pay to shave for the sake of tradition. Anyone who does is a tool.
2003-12-31 01:06:42 AM  
Zilwaukee sounds like Milwaukee's evil twin.
2003-12-31 01:06:57 AM  
God, I hate the Saginaw area, which Zilwaukee is a part of.

Also, there's no way that can be legal. It breaks the idea of freedom of expression.

[/former Saginaw-area resident for 13 years]
2003-12-31 01:07:24 AM  
Zilwaukee is right by Saginaw, just past the bay.

Let's just hope Zilwaukee doesn't decide to come out with their own beer. Zilwaukee's best? Shudder.
2003-12-31 01:08:14 AM  
I'm now 21 and I still can't grow any significant facial hair. Good thing I live in a city with more important things to worry about. Reminds me of when Mayor Quimby was taking advantage of those people filming the Radioactive Man movie and he informed them that there was a taxf or not wearing "puffy pants".
2003-12-31 01:08:32 AM  
Sweet! Nobody said it yet!

Oh boy! Here it comes!


I for one welcome our new bearded overlords.
2003-12-31 01:10:12 AM  
What about the Bearded Clam?
2003-12-31 01:10:19 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

this fellow wouldn't have to pay a fine
2003-12-31 01:14:21 AM  
"Local beauticians will judge different categories, including longest, best well-kept and most original."

Does that even make sense?
2003-12-31 01:15:42 AM  
What a rip off, we only charge 1$ in Springville, Ca. but it's for one day the, jackass mail run. The third sat. in april since 1960 I think. The men buy a permit to be bare the ladys to wear pants or you endup in jail until bail is posted all. In fun proceeds going to the vol. fire dept.
2003-12-31 01:17:13 AM  
Man, I don't know about walking across the Zilwaukee Bridge. That things one of the shoddiest bridges I've ever seen.

When they say "Zilwaukee" they really mean Saginaw, becuase the only thing Zilwaukee is, is a bridge.

/F-Town Brotha
2003-12-31 01:17:55 AM  
Woder if my job would pay for all of our permits?

Having a job that tells you if you can or cant have well groomed facial hair is teh sukck.
2003-12-31 01:20:13 AM  
so the town will force these men to grow a beard, and, since you have to arrive 'clean-shaven to register', force them to shave first too?

god whatever martha stewart-wannabes came up with this cutesy-small-town horseshiat should be exiled..
2003-12-31 01:20:16 AM  
Don't want to sound like a wet blanket, but is this even legal?
2003-12-31 01:22:01 AM  
Instead of beard growing, everyone in this already apparently dopey town should have to change their name to something starting with 'Z' for the first 6 months of the year and pay a $10 fine if they don't.

Of course, they can do both and be doubly mockable.

2003-12-31 01:22:43 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-31 01:23:12 AM  
Our forefathers would be proud of our use and respect of law.
2003-12-31 01:23:17 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

The beautiful Zilwaukee Bridge!
2003-12-31 01:23:21 AM  
Nickface: Did I hear an F-Town in there? Word to big bird on that one!
2003-12-31 01:24:30 AM  
zilwaukee and milwaukee are both native american names. zilwaukee is a very small city.(i live about 15 miles away)
2003-12-31 01:25:12 AM  
Uh, what country is this? They have to pay $10 because they don't want a beard? I can't believe they're not expecting anyone in town to be upset about this.
2003-12-31 01:25:23 AM  
Quickly, Tittabawassee, chew throw my Bohnsack!

/Principal Zkinner
2003-12-31 01:26:38 AM  
I ain't saying this is a great idea, but leave it to farkers to take something fun and turn it into a human rights violation.

As long as the ladies that can grow beards don't have to participate, I'm fine with it.
2003-12-31 01:27:44 AM  
For some reason, this law reminds me of another place...

(from New York Times News Service October 13, 1998)

PUL-ICHARKI, Afghanistan: The commandant himself summoned them, so the inmates walked briskly across the dusty prison yard, these 75 men jailed here because they had illegally trimmed their beards.

Patrols from the General Department for thePreservation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice now snatch violators from the bazaars and bring them 6 miles to Pul-i-Charki, a notorious prison where earlier governments made sadistic use of electrodes and hot stoves.

Is the mayor of this town named Mullah Omar, by any chance?
2003-12-31 01:27:52 AM  
Sounds unconstitutional to me. Quick! Someone call the Supreme court!
2003-12-31 01:30:21 AM  
History Lesson, Children-

Zilwaukee was founded about two years after Milwaukee to take advantage of German immigrants' poor english skills and attempt to populate the area.

Ha ha. Zew Zork Zity. Ha.

*end Major Payne laugh*
2003-12-31 01:31:11 AM  
Allz I knowz iz that if I lived in Zilwaukee, I would be pizzed. What would I do with all those cheap shaving kits from random family members that I got for christmas? Use the cheap cologne out of them? I think not!
2003-12-31 01:31:23 AM  

I ain't saying this is a great idea, but leave it to farkers to take something fun and turn it into a human rights violation.

See, I found the whole thing tripe, until I figured out how to turn it into a human rights violation. Now I think it's fun, so stop persecuting me!
2003-12-31 01:34:35 AM  
2003-12-31 01:36:13 AM  
f-town means flint town, fafafafa-flint town(dayton family), one time murder capital of the world.
2003-12-31 01:36:20 AM  
2003-12-31 01:36:52 AM  
moriarty23 said:

See, I found the whole thing tripe, until I figured out how to turn it into a human rights violation. Now I think it's fun, so stop persecuting me!

As long as you found a way to make it fun, it's all good with me. I just don't see how you confused a beard with tripe. They are quite different... (thanks.. i'll be here all week!)
2003-12-31 01:39:24 AM  
This is how it starts. They'll soon be telling us how to style our pubic hair.
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