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(Legacy.com)   Greatest obituary ever. No, really   (legacy.com) divider line 125
    More: Amusing, lupus, Dollar General, Bay St. Louis, kidney diseases  
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32505 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 May 2013 at 1:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-05 04:54:13 PM
Mom?

Not kidding. That woman looks eerily like my mom and sounds like she had my mom's sense of humor.

HOWEVER

My mom would never be caught dead in a Dollar General store. Too high rent.
 
2013-05-05 04:56:32 PM

titwrench: Rodeodoc: titwrench: This grammer Nazi crap is boring, bush league attention whoring at its most rudimentary. Scanning posts for typos and grammatical errors so you can blast somebody is farking juvenile.

We don't scan posts for them.  They jump out when one is reading a post and slap the reader across the face, saying "Look!! I'm a farking illiterate adult!  Look at me!"  Is it too much to ask that one use basic grammar skills?  It's not a simple spelling mistake, or something caused by typing too fast.  It's ignorance.  If you are in favor of ignorance, continue to be a moron but spare the rest of us your asshatery.

And it's grammar, you twit.

But getting back to the obit... What's Teri's Fark handle?

Does it really "slap you across the face"? Or are you feigning outrage over something completely benign so you can get your feathers ruffled and show your superiority over someone else. I can see being bothered by the content of someone's post but to get bent out of shape when someone misspelled a word is reaching for something because you have no arguments or points of your own. Your post proved my point. You added nothing to the conversation and resulted to name calling while trying to appear as you are the superior person. Thank you for your help.


Pointing out obvious typos or who gives a shait errors on the internet is really the biatchiest form of bullying.
Narrate in a Brian Reagan voice-"OH MY GOD, LOOK AT WHAT THAT GUY MESSED UP THERE!!!! And then look at me cause I figured it out!!!!! Before anyone else!!!! LOOk, did you see? If this was a book, it would have a typo and I would have found it!!!!!"
Its not a book, its the the farking internet. No one normal cares. Suck a bag of dicks.
 
2013-05-05 05:02:02 PM

BolshyGreatYarblocks: All the cows The cattle all got Brucellosis?


FTFY

You'll get through somehow.
 
2013-05-05 05:07:01 PM

Rodeodoc: We don't scan posts for them.  They jump out when one is reading a post and slap the reader across the face, saying "Look!! I'm a farking illiterate adult!  Look at me!"  Is it too much to ask that one use basic grammar skills?  It's not a simple spelling mistake, or something caused by typing too fast.  It's ignorance.  If you are in favor of ignorance, continue to be a moron but spare the rest of us your asshatery


A giant farking THIS.
 
2013-05-05 06:22:36 PM
Until I read TFA really didn't know anybody had suffered from scurvy in over 150 years.  A loyal customer of Waffle House, but couldn't take a multi-vitamin.  She sounds like any man's dream girl.

I didn't know her, but I miss her nonetheless.
 
2013-05-05 07:06:58 PM

Popcorn Johnny: TLDR


But you bothered to comment?
 
2013-05-05 07:45:28 PM

titwrench: You are the equivalent of people that yell "bah bah bah" whenever they hear Sweet Caroline.


I'm in love with you.
 
2013-05-05 08:15:20 PM

zabadu: titwrench: You are the equivalent of people that yell "bah bah bah" whenever they hear Sweet Caroline.

I'm in love with you.


Awww shucks.
 
2013-05-05 08:18:29 PM
This is a woman who was truly loved.

I hope I get such a send off.
 
2013-05-05 08:47:06 PM
I don't think the people in my life are sure whether or not to take me seriously, but I want my funeral to be in a large outdoor amphitheater, open casket on a dais at center stage, with a 40-piece orchestra performing Tchaikovsky's "1812" Overture, complete with the cannons and fireworks. When people ask me why, I tell them, "If you attended a funeral like that, would YOU ever forget it?"

I tend toward the dramatic.
 
2013-05-05 09:08:50 PM
As amateur obits go it's tremendous.

For the pros, you want the Telegraph obit section.
 
2013-05-05 09:18:18 PM

Apos: Anyone wearing black will not be admitted to the memorial. She is not dead. She is alive.


The best three remarks of this stellar send-off.

Jesus?
 
2013-05-05 09:55:48 PM

stevejovi: I don't think the people in my life are sure whether or not to take me seriously, but I want my funeral to be in a large outdoor amphitheater, open casket on a dais at center stage, with a 40-piece orchestra performing Tchaikovsky's "1812" Overture, complete with the cannons and fireworks. When people ask me why, I tell them, "If you attended a funeral like that, would YOU ever forget it?"

I tend toward the dramatic.


I want a giant bonfire, enough ale to keep everyone in bed with the hangover for two days, and a DJ who starts out with ~20 minutes of trance, goes to 90s rock, and eventually when everyone's getting tired and drunk, some nice Celtic music for the end of the bonfire. Closed casket, bury me wherever they spilled the most beer, put a big boulder as my headstone, and plant a tree over the grave.

/party in the woods, yo.
 
2013-05-05 10:33:21 PM
Wow.  Just wow.
 
2013-05-05 11:17:57 PM
She had previously conquered polio as a child contributing to her unusually petite ankles and the nickname "polio legs" given to her by her ex-husband, Jean F. Larroux, Jr. It should not be difficult to imagine the multiple reasons for their divorce 35+ years ago.

Wow, that guy sounds like a real dick, Wasn't expecting that level of snark in an obit but I'll take it.

Toni sounds like cool beans. RIP and all that.
 
2013-05-06 03:35:51 AM

ladyfortuna: stevejovi: I don't think the people in my life are sure whether or not to take me seriously, but I want my funeral to be in a large outdoor amphitheater, open casket on a dais at center stage, with a 40-piece orchestra performing Tchaikovsky's "1812" Overture, complete with the cannons and fireworks. When people ask me why, I tell them, "If you attended a funeral like that, would YOU ever forget it?"

I tend toward the dramatic.

I want a giant bonfire, enough ale to keep everyone in bed with the hangover for two days, and a DJ who starts out with ~20 minutes of trance, goes to 90s rock, and eventually when everyone's getting tired and drunk, some nice Celtic music for the end of the bonfire. Closed casket, bury me wherever they spilled the most beer, put a big boulder as my headstone, and plant a tree over the grave.

/party in the woods, yo.


I want "The chicken dance" played on a loop.

Just to annoy people one last time.
 
2013-05-06 03:54:22 AM

padraig: ladyfortuna: stevejovi: I don't think the people in my life are sure whether or not to take me seriously, but I want my funeral to be in a large outdoor amphitheater, open casket on a dais at center stage, with a 40-piece orchestra performing Tchaikovsky's "1812" Overture, complete with the cannons and fireworks. When people ask me why, I tell them, "If you attended a funeral like that, would YOU ever forget it?"

I tend toward the dramatic.

I want a giant bonfire, enough ale to keep everyone in bed with the hangover for two days, and a DJ who starts out with ~20 minutes of trance, goes to 90s rock, and eventually when everyone's getting tired and drunk, some nice Celtic music for the end of the bonfire. Closed casket, bury me wherever they spilled the most beer, put a big boulder as my headstone, and plant a tree over the grave.

/party in the woods, yo.

I want "The chicken dance" played on a loop.

Just to annoy people one last time


I want my casket to be spring loaded. Just as the pallbearers lift it up, I'll pop up like a jack-in-the-box.
 
2013-05-06 03:58:05 AM

that one guy with the face: I want my casket to be spring loaded. Just as the pallbearers lift it up, I'll pop up like a jack-in-the-box.


Be sure to have your head rotate 360, and your mouth spit pea soup.
 
2013-05-06 07:26:51 AM

basemetal: Reminds me of my California side of the family, they don't have funerals per say, they have celebrations.  Much more fun.


Sounds like when my dad passed. He had esophageal cancer that spread so damn quick. When
chemo failed, rather than stay in a hospital, hospice set up a bed for him in his parents' living room
that overlooked the lake (my dad was a big boater and fisherman).

When it looked like the end was near, I Greyhound-ed it up to TN to be with him. His last words on
this earth were, "Well f*ck sh*t!", said when I told him that some friends of his from his school days
were on their way up from Florida to see him.

He died with his friends and family around him, music playing on the stereo and an old Redskins
game from their 80's glory days on the TV.

We all knew he didn't want us crying over his death, so it came as no surprise to us when a few...
interesting...things happened right after he died.

My grandpa went to call hospice to send out someone to pick up my dad. So he picks up the
phone and we hear him say "He's dead...please come pick up the body." there was a pause and
then, "I am SO sorry. I think I have the wrong number."

We all about peed ourselves laughing.

The next day, at the funeral home, we were making the final arrangements. My dad was to be
cremated and beyond what they were going to put in the memorial urn and all of the smaller
urns, my mom wanted some separate so she could visit all of their favorite fishing spots and
spread some of his ashes at each one.

The funeral directory looks at us somberly and says "We can give them to you, but we don't
have a designated container for extra ashes. We can put them in a plastic baggie for you though."

We laughed so hard, I know the funeral director thought we were nuts. The plastic baggie was
a perfect suggestion, as my dad had smoked pot almost daily.

There was no funeral, no ashes interred. There was a memorial about a month after he died
and all of his friends, co-workers and bandmates were there. A good time was had by all, and
that is just the way he would have wanted it.
 
2013-05-06 07:47:45 AM

puckrock2000: basemetal: Reminds me of my California side of the family, they don't have funerals per say, they have celebrations.  Much more fun.

Folks, if you want to impress people by using foreign words and phrases, please learn to spell them correctly.


Percy, pr2000 was directing that to Percy.  Y'know;  they don't have funerals, Percy, they have celebrations. "

ftfh
 
2013-05-06 08:07:15 AM

Speaker2Animals: Popcorn Johnny: TLDR

You thought THAT was too long? Surprised you make it to the end of headlines. Oh, and if you're going to use the meme, at least use it correctly:

tl;dr


Actually, I have to agree.

It was entertaining but it definitely rambled on quite a bit.
 
2013-05-06 09:18:05 AM
www.global-air.com

Charles Fawcett lead an exciting life. (new window)
 
2013-05-06 10:26:41 AM
I want my funeral to feature I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General.  Played on the bagpipes.  If they can find anyone who can do that, he's allowed to hang around afterwards, because clearly he's a guy I'd want to be friends with.
 
2013-05-06 02:01:14 PM
Jesus that was funny.  What a freak show.
 
2013-05-06 06:52:53 PM

Bondith: I want my funeral to feature I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General.  Played on the bagpipes.  If they can find anyone who can do that, he's allowed to hang around afterwards, because clearly he's a guy I'd want to be friends with.


It might take him a few weeks, but I suspect Lordfortuna could do that. He rarely plays them anymore though...
 
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