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(YouTube) Video The perfect girlfriend   (youtube.com) divider line 47
    More: Video, perfect, girlfriend  
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10788 clicks; posted to Video » on 05 May 2013 at 12:29 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-05-05 11:12:21 AM  
whatisthisidontevenknow
 
2013-05-05 11:17:26 AM  
I have to wonder if an admin greened his own video here. WTF.
 
2013-05-05 11:25:33 AM  

Incorrigible Astronaut: I have to wonder if an admin greened his own video here. WTF.


You'd be wrong.
 
2013-05-05 11:28:36 AM  

Moderator: Incorrigible Astronaut: I have to wonder if an admin greened his own video here. WTF.

You'd be wrong.


Huh... guess I just don't get it.
 
2013-05-05 11:41:20 AM  
Uh, because he can have sex with her whenever he wants and she's a total slut?
 
2013-05-05 12:17:33 PM  
I'm going to have to go with
i17.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-05 12:34:11 PM  
wow she's TALL!!
 
2013-05-05 12:35:27 PM  
He masturbates
 
2013-05-05 12:54:35 PM  

Incorrigible Astronaut: Moderator: Incorrigible Astronaut: I have to wonder if an admin greened his own video here. WTF.

You'd be wrong.

Huh... guess I just don't get it.


Its pretty simple, its the anonymous Moderator's friend's video.
 
2013-05-05 12:55:30 PM  

stevecore: He masturbates


I hope he takes his boots off first.
 
2013-05-05 01:08:47 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-05 01:16:38 PM  

Apos: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x297]


Yeah, no farking kidding. Some of the pathetic crap that get's greened around here is ludicrous. Always has been, but it seems even more so lately.
 
2013-05-05 01:41:43 PM  

John Buck 41: Apos: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x297]

Yeah, no farking kidding. Some of the pathetic crap that get's greened around here is ludicrous. Always has been, but it seems even more so lately.


You'll get over it.
 
2013-05-05 01:52:43 PM  
Kwame would probably disagree....

i690.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-05 01:52:49 PM  
Does she do anal?
 
2013-05-05 01:59:50 PM  

Ebenator: Does she do anal?


no
 
2013-05-05 02:06:22 PM  

Ebenator: Does she do anal?



Every morning, after breakfast.
 
2013-05-05 02:12:09 PM  
I thought it was funny.
 
2013-05-05 02:27:27 PM  

John Buck 41: Apos: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x297]

Yeah, no farking kidding. Some of the pathetic crap that get's greened around here is ludicrous. Always has been, but it seems even more so lately.


The insightful, hilarious observations made in the comments just get more exciting and vibrantly witty though.
 
2013-05-05 03:31:08 PM  
A 2 the farking men.

In more detailed diction, it's a depiction of how alllll of your frustrations//issues with men lie at the end of your arm.

Why spend the money on clothes, dates, etc to impress/wrangle some female in the off hopes she'll 'fall for you' (aka; give you sex - and even then, the quality is VERY subjective) which at best parlays into a 'relationship/marriage' which will leave you beaten, beleaguered and financially (as well as emotionally) crippled for life?...

Why endure meeting her parents and their subsequent judgement?
Why spend thousands on some princess ceremony wherein this self entitled, self important princess can have her 'special day?'
Why give up all your friends/hobbies/activities/etc only to put hers ahead of yours?

...only to ultimately give it allllll to her and become the Bain of her problems from that day forth? wherein your only other option is staying with the festering gash and have her spend some "wondrous quality" years marinating in the life she's decided is best for you - while you can't even think for yourself?

WHY?

... cause when we're young, we equate the endorphin rush of sex with love. Give it some years and that endorphin rush fades, social and cultural expectations take over,... soon you're in too deep and one compromise leads to another and another and anoth... Pretty soon you're bailing on the playoff games to watch some 'american's got talented celebrity ice skating splash idols' crap - if only just to placate the ever demanding gash.

Just realize, when you're young, rub one out then, in those few fleeting following moments ask yourself the same questions. I only say this as your male brain is only truly trustworthy at that passing time. Once your dick is happy, the rest of the above seems like a freakish road trip to embark upon...
 
2013-05-05 03:50:29 PM  
 
2013-05-05 03:58:13 PM  

bump: A 2 the farking men.

In more detailed diction, it's a depiction of how alllll of your frustrations//issues with men lie at the end of your arm.

Why spend the money on clothes, dates, etc to impress/wrangle some female in the off hopes she'll 'fall for you' (aka; give you sex - and even then, the quality is VERY subjective) which at best parlays into a 'relationship/marriage' which will leave you beaten, beleaguered and financially (as well as emotionally) crippled for life?...

Why endure meeting her parents and their subsequent judgement?
Why spend thousands on some princess ceremony wherein this self entitled, self important princess can have her 'special day?'
Why give up all your friends/hobbies/activities/etc only to put hers ahead of yours?

...only to ultimately give it allllll to her and become the Bain of her problems from that day forth? wherein your only other option is staying with the festering gash and have her spend some "wondrous quality" years marinating in the life she's decided is best for you - while you can't even think for yourself?

WHY?

... cause when we're young, we equate the endorphin rush of sex with love. Give it some years and that endorphin rush fades, social and cultural expectations take over,... soon you're in too deep and one compromise leads to another and another and anoth... Pretty soon you're bailing on the playoff games to watch some 'american's got talented celebrity ice skating splash idols' crap - if only just to placate the ever demanding gash.

Just realize, when you're young, rub one out then, in those few fleeting following moments ask yourself the same questions. I only say this as your male brain is only truly trustworthy at that passing time. Once your dick is happy, the rest of the above seems like a freakish road trip to embark upon...


Wow, next time stand up for yourself and don't marry a biatch, its pretty simple.  Ouch though, sounds like you were rode pretty hard.
 
2013-05-05 04:01:18 PM  

The_Philosopher_King: I thought this was the perfect girlfriend (NSFW)


You know, I've actually had success with this argument. I mean, that stuff has to go somewhere.
 
2013-05-05 04:20:16 PM  
I saw two girlfriends there, not one.
 
2013-05-05 04:22:10 PM  

dickfreckle: The_Philosopher_King: I thought this was the perfect girlfriend (NSFW)

You know, I've actually had success with this argument. I mean, that stuff has to go somewhere.


Yes, like for PROCREATION, you heathen. That should be the only time the essence of a man is emitted.
 
2013-05-05 04:26:05 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: dickfreckle: The_Philosopher_King: I thought this was the perfect girlfriend (NSFW)

You know, I've actually had success with this argument. I mean, that stuff has to go somewhere.

Yes, like for PROCREATION, you heathen. That should be the only time the essence of a man is emitted.


General Ripper, please login with your real name.
 
2013-05-05 04:36:37 PM  
You can tell by her boots she's from Canada.
 
2013-05-05 04:37:48 PM  

calm like a bomb: John Buck 41: Apos: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x297]

Yeah, no farking kidding. Some of the pathetic crap that get's greened around here is ludicrous. Always has been, but it seems even more so lately.

You'll get over it.


Oh, I know. Doesn't negate what I said though.
 
2013-05-05 04:41:16 PM  

pup.socket: thisisyourbrainonFark: dickfreckle: The_Philosopher_King: I thought this was the perfect girlfriend (NSFW)

You know, I've actually had success with this argument. I mean, that stuff has to go somewhere.

Yes, like for PROCREATION, you heathen. That should be the only time the essence of a man is emitted.

General Ripper, please login with your real name.


I don't know who that is, and I've never used an alt. Again, sex is only for procreation.
 
2013-05-05 05:42:03 PM  

The_Philosopher_King: I thought this was the perfect girlfriend.


The perfect girlfriend is three feet tall with a flat head.
 
2013-05-05 06:20:12 PM  

pup.socket: I saw two girlfriends there, not one.


i saw 5
 
2013-05-05 06:58:01 PM  

Sgygus: The_Philosopher_King: I thought this was the perfect girlfriend.

The perfect girlfriend is three feet tall with a flat head.


And owns a liquor store.
 
2013-05-05 07:37:14 PM  

LesserEvil: Kwame would probably disagree....

i690.photobucket.com


I have the weirdest boner...
 
2013-05-05 08:02:02 PM  

RatMaster999: LesserEvil: Kwame would probably disagree....

[i690.photobucket.com image 500x334]

I have the weirdest boner...


Is it in a knot??!/1?&^!???
 
2013-05-05 08:35:25 PM  

FloydA: stevecore: He masturbates

I hope he takes his boots off first.


Boot masturbation is the shiat. Especially sweaty boots - aw yeah...
 
2013-05-05 08:42:54 PM  

John Buck 41: Apos: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x297]

Yeah, no farking kidding. Some of the pathetic crap that get's greened around here is ludicrous. Always has been, but it seems even more so lately.


I have heard that exact same sentiment expressed every year since I signed up.  It's the Fark equivalent of "kids these days have no respect for their elders."
 
2013-05-05 09:52:02 PM  

John Buck 41: Sgygus: The_Philosopher_King: I thought this was the perfect girlfriend.

The perfect girlfriend is three feet tall with a flat head.

And owns a liquor store.


And at midnight turns into a pizza and a six-pack.

/God invented women because sheep can't type
 
2013-05-05 10:21:13 PM  
That monster cut off his girlfriend's legs, how dare you show such a video
 
2013-05-05 10:31:19 PM  
I could be wrong, but I kinda thought the joke wasn't necessarily about masturbation, specifically. Picture where his head would have been when the boots were on the ground...
 
2013-05-05 11:09:47 PM  
Now he's going to take her home, and she's going to give him a footjob.
 
2013-05-06 12:07:58 AM  

Elzar: Boot masturbation is the shiat. Especially sweaty boots - aw yeah...


25.media.tumblr.com
"How you doin'?"
 
2013-05-06 12:28:11 AM  

Robots are Strong: I could be wrong, but I kinda thought the joke wasn't necessarily about masturbation, specifically. Picture where his head would have been when the boots were on the ground...


Analingus it is, then.
 
2013-05-06 02:25:05 AM  
 
2013-05-06 12:45:22 PM  

LesserEvil: Kwame would probably disagree....

[i690.photobucket.com image 500x334]


*ahem*

BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA
 
2013-05-06 04:03:47 PM  
I don't get how she climbed up into his arms so fast.
 
2013-05-06 07:01:52 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: John Buck 41: Sgygus: The_Philosopher_King: I thought this was the perfect girlfriend.

The perfect girlfriend is three feet tall with a flat head.

And owns a liquor store.

And at midnight turns into a pizza and a six-pack.

/God invented women because sheep can't type


Was about to type  'pizza and a six-pack'

/beat me to it.

//whaddup
 
2013-05-06 07:32:50 PM  

W.C.fields forever: whaddup


Howzit? That wasn't no San Diego woman. She had thick ankles. :)
 
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