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(Queerty)   One Million Moms targets Philips Norelco because (hold on to your seats folks): They promote manscaping   (queerty.com) divider line 92
    More: Dumbass, Philips Norelco, J.C. Penney  
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4985 clicks; posted to Business » on 04 May 2013 at 5:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



92 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-05-04 03:10:16 PM  
Then he looks in the mirror, admires himself, and says, "I'd F*** me."

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-04 03:25:25 PM  
I used to get the one million moms emails. They were always absolutely hilarious. Lots of angry pearl clutching.
 
2013-05-04 03:28:30 PM  
For the record: I am not affiliated with, nor have I ever been a member of One Million Moms.
 
2013-05-04 04:27:50 PM  

Nezorf: I used to get the one million moms emails. They were always absolutely hilarious. Lots of angry pearl clutching.


I can only imagine.
 
2013-05-04 04:34:37 PM  
Won't somebody please think of the chiiilllllllllldreennnnnnnnnnn???
 
2013-05-04 05:21:39 PM  
oh-my-god-who-the-hell-cares.jpg
 
2013-05-04 05:22:11 PM  
So what's five angry coonts and a fax machine up to today?
 
2013-05-04 05:25:10 PM  
Counter-protests planned by the Moro Islamic Liberation Front.
 
2013-05-04 05:25:21 PM  
I wonder if there's really a million of them...

Does anyone else hear that? It sounds like flight of the valkyries, and...

Oh my god.


fc09.deviantart.net
 
2013-05-04 05:26:45 PM  
One Million coonts
 
2013-05-04 05:30:04 PM  

Chariset: Won't somebody please think of the chiiilllllllllldreennnnnnnnnnn???


That sounds like the way a pedo talks. Everytime one of them thar Republican politicians talks like that, years later people find out he farked a kid, teenager, gay, animal, Dominican teenage boy(Hi Rush Limbaugh and your eternal supply of Viagra on your private plane).

/Million Moms dude is such a nasty child abuser as he rips apart families for his crusade against 'life, the universe and everything'.
 
2013-05-04 05:30:59 PM  
Poor wittle bushy house pets, don't worry:  When you catch your husband doing this its not for you.
 
2013-05-04 05:32:02 PM  

Nezorf: I used to get the one million moms emails. They were always absolutely hilarious. Lots of angry pearl clutching.


Isn't that group run by men?  Thought it was another right wing fake outrage whiner group.
 
2013-05-04 05:42:39 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Nezorf: I used to get the one million moms emails. They were always absolutely hilarious. Lots of angry pearl clutching.

Isn't that group run by men?  Thought it was another right wing fake outrage whiner group.


Not  another one, just a face of the American Family Association.
 
2013-05-04 05:54:37 PM  
Dave Chappelle understands. Because you want to know something? I'm getting some work done. Surprise. Yes. Nothing major. You would never know if I didn't tell you, but it's some shiat I'm insecure about that I want to work on. If you must know I'm getting Botox done on my balls to get these wrinkles out. Finally to have these just as smooth as eggs and oh, I can't wait. I cannot wait. And I'm not stopping there. That's just phase one, baby. I'd be like Bob Vila, these old balls, I'm fixing them up. I'm plucking all the hair out. I got to make room, I know there is, I got to make room, I'm going to tattoo a gangster-ass face on with mean expressions, like this. Then I'll grow the hair back on the bottom, so they got beards like me. Then I'm hitting that beach and looking for ball-suckers. I'm going to wear some high shorts, just like this. And walk up to women with a confidence I've never had before. "Pardon me, miss, I don't mean to be rude, but do you suck balls?"

"Excuse me?"

"Miss, relax, you didn't even let me finish. Do you suck these balls?"

"Oh, my God, those balls are as smooth as eggs. Yes, I'll suck them."

I've played this scenario out in my mind a million times, lady, that's how it always ends, "Yes, I'll suck those balls."
 
2013-05-04 05:58:09 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Not another one, just a face of the American Family Association.


Like I said, isn't it run by men on top of that?  (million moms)
 
2013-05-04 06:12:19 PM  
Five or Six Moms
 
2013-05-04 06:16:28 PM  
They can biatch and moan all they want. Nobody is gonna come between my razor and my body hair.
 
2013-05-04 06:40:32 PM  
I don't know what Manscaping is and something tells me I don't really want to Google it...
 
2013-05-04 06:42:43 PM  
 
2013-05-04 06:57:52 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: BarkingUnicorn: Not another one, just a face of the American Family Association.

Like I said, isn't it run by men on top of that?  (million moms)


Yep. And unlike most of those right wing organizations who have at least one woman to trot out to do cable TV interviews, I can't think of any woman in a position of power in the AFA.
 
2013-05-04 07:27:34 PM  
In other news, 40,000 poutraged morons equals "One Million Moms".
 
2013-05-04 07:52:09 PM  
Oh god those biddies need to get a life!  I thought the commercial was hilarious and would have had no problem with my kids at any age watching it.

My daughter told me that she once told her late brother to do a bit of landscaping (he was really light skinned with thick black hair - he had Bruschev eyebrows lol) because his girlfriend would love it.  Sure enough, my son later told my daughter "thanks Sis, you were right!"

/the pain of losing my beloved son will never ever go away but I now can smile and laugh at the memories
 
2013-05-04 07:54:06 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: BarkingUnicorn: Not another one, just a face of the American Family Association.

Like I said, isn't it run by men on top of that?  (million moms)


They also have One Million Dads but we never hear about them.
 
2013-05-04 07:55:57 PM  
Ear hair.  There is no 'pro' position.
 
2013-05-04 08:06:42 PM  
A couple hundred slack-titted gorgons.
 
2013-05-04 08:23:02 PM  

Thats No Moose: I don't know what Manscaping is and something tells me I don't really want to Google it...


It's an album by Wire.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-04 08:23:35 PM  
Subby fails at reading.   Another misleading headline on fark
 
2013-05-04 08:34:57 PM  
God no, not a play on "the f word."

How dare products for adults be advertised as such!
 
2013-05-04 08:35:34 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Satanic_Hamster: BarkingUnicorn: Not another one, just a face of the American Family Association.

Like I said, isn't it run by men on top of that?  (million moms)

They also have One Million Dads but we never hear about them.


They have jobs and responsibilities.
/ducks
 
2013-05-04 09:03:42 PM  
Is it hard to be outraged all the time? It seems like it would be.

But so many people are perpetually offended and feel strongly enough about their offended sensibilities to do something besides change the channel.
 
2013-05-04 09:05:00 PM  
fta The ad shouldn't run at any time. It is not only inappropriate for children; it is offensive to adults also.

Idunno. Maybe there are some pretty hairy kids out there.
 
2013-05-04 09:52:41 PM  
You know what offends me? One Million Moms, One Million Dads, and their parent organization, the American Family Association.
 
2013-05-04 09:55:45 PM  
I'd bet anything that half a million of those moms' husbands are cheating on them.

With guys.
 
2013-05-04 10:13:47 PM  
Oh, goody, was looking at the Million Mom's Facebook page and see that my aunt is a fan.
 
2013-05-04 10:16:09 PM  
One Million* Moms

/* - 1000000 binary
 
2013-05-04 11:03:14 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Counter-protests planned by the Moro Islamic Liberation Front.


Many Islands Low Fares
 
2013-05-04 11:34:28 PM  
A considerate man shaves the areas on his body where he wants others to put their mouths.
 
2013-05-04 11:41:07 PM  
Won't people think about the pubic lice.
 
2013-05-05 12:13:37 AM  

Chariset: Won't somebody please think of the chiiilllllllllldreennnnnnnnnnn???


Ok, not that much manscaping.
 
2013-05-05 12:14:50 AM  
So these women want their men like 70's pronstars?  Who knew.
 
2013-05-05 12:42:32 AM  
At this point, I'm about 80% certain that One Million Moms is actually a corporate puppet that various companies utilize in order to generate "controversy" and indignant online responses like this one. I can't think of any company or organization they've taken on that hasn't ended up ahead afterwards.
 
2013-05-05 12:43:04 AM  
Can we PLEASE stop calling them the lie that they call themselves?
 
2013-05-05 12:43:21 AM  
This group exists as a political weapon for the GOP, nothing more, nothing less.  It is run by a guy.  They have to circulate the outrage of the week to keep the engine idling.  Then when they need to ratchet up the poutrage, it doesn't take as much effort.

So, you will see these sorts of things from time to time.  They are absolutely meaningless and only designed to keep the engine primed.
 
2013-05-05 02:20:39 AM  
I just started manscaping so I'm getting a kick...

A shorn scrotum really is breaktaking though.  I suggest you try it.
 
2013-05-05 02:21:33 AM  
Breathtaking.

Not break taking.  Damnit.
 
2013-05-05 02:29:26 AM  
This proves the adage that even a broken clock is right two times a day. The same youth who learn about sex from porn and think "their dick looks bigger if you shave your pubes" also think girls want you to masturbate onto their faces "a facial". No it doesn't make your dick look bigger. It makes your dick look stupider. Go ahead and shave your pubes and look like a pindick, whatever.
 
2013-05-05 02:33:28 AM  

Freeballin: I just started manscaping so I'm getting a kick...

A shorn scrotum really is breaktaking though.  I suggest you try it.


The feminization of male America. The hormones in the beef you've been eating remains intact as extra estrogen.
 
2013-05-05 03:17:56 AM  

PsyLord: So these women want their men like 70's pronstars?  Who knew.


I've never met a woman who likes picking hair out of her teeth.

/just sayin'
 
2013-05-05 03:50:22 AM  
My wife likes the Sean Connery/Burt Reynolds/Freddy Mercury look.

Go figure.  Her ideal man is half Sasquatch, half Grateful Dead roadie.

We're in our 40's; probably a generational thing.
 
2013-05-05 05:18:25 AM  
Nothing is more damaging to the world than groups of moms gathering together to act self righteous about perceived threats to their crotchfruit.
 
2013-05-05 05:23:18 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: slack-titted gorgons.


This is like the 20th time you've given me names for my next band or album.
 
2013-05-05 05:24:39 AM  

GWSuperfan: PsyLord: So these women want their men like 70's pronstars?  Who knew.

I've never met a woman who likes picking hair out of her teeth.

/just sayin'


Nope, but they don't like you bare as a 10 year old either, unless they are secretly a male priest of some variety. I go with notch 4 out of 9 on the clippers, knock that shiat back by half. A compromise.
 
2013-05-05 06:38:36 AM  
Remember Waldenbooks!
 
2013-05-05 07:16:16 AM  
Oblig

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-05 08:03:30 AM  
18,000 children died of hunger yesterday.

But at least they didn't see a commercial about a guy trimming his bush.
 
2013-05-05 08:07:33 AM  
If god was really as offended as they seem to think, do they think he/she/they is so impotent that he wouldn't do something about it?

Vengeance is mine, sayeth The Lord,
 
2013-05-05 09:05:04 AM  
Meh - I don't agree with them; but they aren't against people shaving/trimming certain body areas - they are against the TV commercial portraying it.

Most Mom's had sex voluntarily.  Not wanting hardcore porn on TV doesn't mean they are against sex.  Not wanting some dude shaving his junk on TV doesn't mean they are against some dude shaving his junk.
 
2013-05-05 09:08:05 AM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: Meh - I don't agree with them; but they aren't against people shaving/trimming certain body areas - they are against the TV commercial portraying it.

Most Mom's had sex voluntarily.  Not wanting hardcore porn on TV doesn't mean they are against sex.  Not wanting some dude shaving his junk on TV doesn't mean they are against some dude shaving his junk.


You know what, we've had to endure feminine itching on the farking beach commercials during dinner time for basically my entire life. I think some uptight soccer mom can endure one commercial about shaving.
 
2013-05-05 09:13:11 AM  

neongoats: Fark_Guy_Rob: Meh - I don't agree with them; but they aren't against people shaving/trimming certain body areas - they are against the TV commercial portraying it.

Most Mom's had sex voluntarily.  Not wanting hardcore porn on TV doesn't mean they are against sex.  Not wanting some dude shaving his junk on TV doesn't mean they are against some dude shaving his junk.

You know what, we've had to endure feminine itching on the farking beach commercials during dinner time for basically my entire life. I think some uptight soccer mom can endure one commercial about shaving.


I'm not disagreeing; but I wouldn't be surprised if there are lots of women with different opinions of what is and isn't appropriate for television.  And it is entirely possible that some women think that feminine itching products are perfectly acceptable and others don't.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that, sure, as a whole, 'women' are hypocrites - but these particular women who are against manshaving on TV might not be hypocrites.

For what it's worth - I'd be fine with porn on TV, but I'm pretty strongly against any medical products being shown on TV.  It might be a retarded opinion to hold, but I'm logically consistent.
 
2013-05-05 09:16:01 AM  
1 million moms is two fundamentalist old guys

1.bp.blogspot.com

www.newsguests.com
 
2013-05-05 09:18:08 AM  

LarryDan43: 1 million moms is two fundamentalist old guys

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 200x242]

[www.newsguests.com image 180x255]


Get that first guy some salt, STAT!
 
2013-05-05 09:37:22 AM  

LarryDan43: fundamentalist old guy

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 200x242]


This is the face I make when giving a BJ.
 
2013-05-05 09:40:14 AM  
just remember all,   you need to shave all that hair because everyone knows that hair is dirty and unhealthy and gillette/schick needs to sell lots of shaving accessories, razors, etc.
 
2013-05-05 09:44:32 AM  
He looks like he's about to hit my crank bait
thebassboat.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-05 09:57:55 AM  

iaazathot: This group exists as a political weapon for the GOP, nothing more, nothing less.  It is run by a guy.  They have to circulate the outrage of the week to keep the engine idling.  Then when they need to ratchet up the poutrage, it doesn't take as much effort.

So, you will see these sorts of things from time to time.  They are absolutely meaningless and only designed to keep the engine primed.


This would be just as accurate a description of Fox News Channel.
 
2013-05-05 10:08:09 AM  

Kevin72: This proves the adage that even a broken clock is right two times a day. The same youth who learn about sex from porn and think "their dick looks bigger if you shave your pubes" also think girls want you to masturbate onto their faces "a facial". No it doesn't make your dick look bigger. It makes your dick look stupider. Go ahead and shave your pubes and look like a pindick, whatever.


You keep your pubic hair, I'll keep my nethers groomed such that my girl can put her mouth down there without getting pubes caught in her teeth.

I mean, honestly, do you not trim at all? If so, your hair either grows remarkably slowly or your dick has disappeared into a smelly forest.
 
2013-05-05 10:11:36 AM  
Subby, do you often cruise Queerty for your Fark submissions?
 
2013-05-05 10:14:46 AM  
There are about 87,000 registered members, but there over a million children who call them 'mom.' Michelle Dugger alone is worth 19 points.
 
2013-05-05 11:39:53 AM  

GWSuperfan: PsyLord: So these women want their men like 70's pronstars?  Who knew.

I've never met a woman who likes picking hair out of her teeth.

/just sayin'


I've been sucking dick for more than 40 years and never ever got a pubic hair stuck in my teeth. This story is a complete urban legend. Will the person who got a pubic hair stuck in their teeth sucking dick please identify yourself and how you managed such a feat?
 
2013-05-05 11:42:38 AM  

Nezorf: I used to get the one million moms emails. They were always absolutely hilarious. Lots of angry pearl clutching.


d1fgn7wex1bhjn.cloudfront.net
 
2013-05-05 11:57:08 AM  

Linux_Yes: just remember all,   you need to shave all that hair because everyone knows that hair is dirty and unhealthy and gillette/schick needs to sell lots of shaving accessories, razors, etc.


Or maybe many people simply prefer to keep that area neatly trimmed.

Nah. Couldn't be that. Must be a corporate conspiracy to take our money. WAKE UP AND SAVE YOUR FLEECE, SHEEPLE!

/ If I don't keep that area reasonably trimmed my crotch winds up smelling like a locker full of gym socks by the end of the day in the summer
 
2013-05-05 12:08:53 PM  

thurstonxhowell: Kevin72: This proves the adage that even a broken clock is right two times a day. The same youth who learn about sex from porn and think "their dick looks bigger if you shave your pubes" also think girls want you to masturbate onto their faces "a facial". No it doesn't make your dick look bigger. It makes your dick look stupider. Go ahead and shave your pubes and look like a pindick, whatever.

You keep your pubic hair, I'll keep my nethers groomed such that my girl can put her mouth down there without getting pubes caught in her teeth.

I mean, honestly, do you not trim at all? If so, your hair either grows remarkably slowly or your dick has disappeared into a smelly forest.


As mentioned above, I've been sucking dick for over 40 years and have never ever ever ever had a pube get stuck in my teeth. Nor have I ever heard anyone in the gay community or media ever mention this. But this is what modern American women actually believe, so I understand your compliance, but still speak out against the community ignorance.

But no, I never trim, and no male ever trimmed, ever in the past. Except for males in professional porn, they were always and still are forced to trim by the studios paying them.

I don't know where you get the perception of pubic hair growing "amazingly slow" or into a forest so big it covers the dick and cant even by reached by the water of a shower and gets smelly because its so hairy. I never shave my pubes and they are exactly like they were when I was a teen, they stop growing when they reach their biologically programmed length.
 
2013-05-05 12:21:05 PM  

skozlaw: WAKE UP AND SAVE YOUR FLEECE, SHEEPLE!


Perfect.
 
2013-05-05 02:09:36 PM  
I have a feeling that One Million Moms is closer to about 215.
 
2013-05-05 02:25:01 PM  
Its got nothing to do with being against hair, and everything to do with how much better sex feels without pubes.
 
2013-05-05 02:34:59 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Satanic_Hamster: BarkingUnicorn: Not another one, just a face of the American Family Association.

Like I said, isn't it run by men on top of that?  (million moms)

They also have One Million Dads but we never hear about them.


They are nt allowed to speak beyond "Yes dear".
 
2013-05-05 02:37:46 PM  

rynthetyn: Oh, goody, was looking at the Million Mom's Facebook page and see that my aunt is a fan.


That's always disheartening.

I wonder how many think they are only about removing obscenity from television, which I could see more people getting behind. Obviously that's just a front-- they're vocally anti-gay, pro-creationism in schools, etc.

I posted on their page a few times out of boredom (no trolling or anything inflammatory), but of course they just quote some scripture and then delete your comments and any with a semblance of agreement to anything that challenges their worldview.
 
2013-05-05 02:44:04 PM  
One million uptight harpies.
 
2013-05-05 02:56:28 PM  

phedex: Its got nothing to do with being against hair, and everything to do with how much better sex feels without pubes.


Living in central Florida with our 100oF 500% humidity summers, I rather like a Spring trimming just as a crotch rot prevention measure. Just bust out the gear once a year and no more sticky sweaty swamp getting infested with funk. I imagine that the women have it even worse (and I ain't eating lunch in the swamp, if you know what I mean).
 
2013-05-05 03:21:03 PM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: Meh - I don't agree with them; but they aren't against people shaving/trimming certain body areas - they are against the TV commercial portraying it.


No.

If you're trimming your pubic hair then your're probably having sex for enjoyment, and sex should only be for making babies so that you can join groups like One Million Moms and be offended by everything.
 
2013-05-05 03:25:13 PM  

icam: Fark_Guy_Rob: Meh - I don't agree with them; but they aren't against people shaving/trimming certain body areas - they are against the TV commercial portraying it.

No.

If you're trimming your pubic hair then your're probably having sex for enjoyment, and sex should only be for making babies so that you can join groups like One Million Moms and be offended by everything.


FTFM
 
2013-05-05 04:44:09 PM  

Kevin72: thurstonxhowell: Kevin72: This proves the adage that even a broken clock is right two times a day. The same youth who learn about sex from porn and think "their dick looks bigger if you shave your pubes" also think girls want you to masturbate onto their faces "a facial". No it doesn't make your dick look bigger. It makes your dick look stupider. Go ahead and shave your pubes and look like a pindick, whatever.

You keep your pubic hair, I'll keep my nethers groomed such that my girl can put her mouth down there without getting pubes caught in her teeth.

I mean, honestly, do you not trim at all? If so, your hair either grows remarkably slowly or your dick has disappeared into a smelly forest.

As mentioned above, I've been sucking dick for over 40 years and have never ever ever ever had a pube get stuck in my teeth. Nor have I ever heard anyone in the gay community or media ever mention this. But this is what modern American women actually believe, so I understand your compliance, but still speak out against the community ignorance.

But no, I never trim, and no male ever trimmed, ever in the past. Except for males in professional porn, they were always and still are forced to trim by the studios paying them.

I don't know where you get the perception of pubic hair growing "amazingly slow" or into a forest so big it covers the dick and cant even by reached by the water of a shower and gets smelly because its so hairy. I never shave my pubes and they are exactly like they were when I was a teen, they stop growing when they reach their biologically programmed length.


thanks for sharing.
 
2013-05-05 06:20:52 PM  
Its much easier to cut the lawn than to edge around the tree.
 
2013-05-05 08:05:07 PM  
One Million Moms want men to use Veet in their groin area.
 
2013-05-05 08:49:34 PM  

neongoats: Nothing is more damaging to the world than groups of moms gathering together to act self righteous about perceived threats to their crotchfruit.


I was about to agree but then I remembered 'men with the power of a nation and a hard-on for war' so I'm afraid I have to counter with that. It's basically a close second, however.
 
2013-05-05 10:15:05 PM  

Skyfrog: One million uptight harpies.


Read this as "one million uptight hairpies".

I really did.
 
2013-05-05 10:16:56 PM  

Kevin72: This proves the adage that even a broken clock is right two times a day. The same youth who learn about sex from porn and think "their dick looks bigger if you shave your pubes" also think girls want you to masturbate onto their faces "a facial". No it doesn't make your dick look bigger. It makes your dick look stupider. Go ahead and shave your pubes and look like a pindick, whatever.


Have you ever had a condom roll up in your pubic hair? I guess not. Hurts like hell.
 
2013-05-05 11:32:35 PM  

icam: rynthetyn: Oh, goody, was looking at the Million Mom's Facebook page and see that my aunt is a fan.

That's always disheartening.

I wonder how many think they are only about removing obscenity from television, which I could see more people getting behind. Obviously that's just a front-- they're vocally anti-gay, pro-creationism in schools, etc.

I posted on their page a few times out of boredom (no trolling or anything inflammatory), but of course they just quote some scripture and then delete your comments and any with a semblance of agreement to anything that challenges their worldview.


Don't know about others but my aunt is one of those that agrees with their whole agenda.
 
2013-05-05 11:38:02 PM  

taxandspend: Freeballin: I just started manscaping so I'm getting a kick...

A shorn scrotum really is breaktaking though.  I suggest you try it.

Do you use an electric razor? I've always been told you shouldn't.


I've never heard this. Why shouldn't one use an electric down there?
 
2013-05-06 12:27:32 AM  
dp.helderksun.com
Here comes Santa to help all you good little boys be smooth little boys!
 
2013-05-06 04:00:40 AM  
I just totally clicked on something called Queerty, got up and got a cup of coffee, chatted with Jen in research for a bit, and just now got back to my desk which everyone can see.

Queerty
 
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