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(Slate)   No one actually likes Patrón. They just buy it and try to stomach it because they love the bottle so much   (slate.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, pouches, tequilas  
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4844 clicks; posted to Business » on 04 May 2013 at 1:40 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-04 11:35:43 AM  
"Hip-hop is a community that has embraced Patrón as its drink of choice, even rhyming about the brand in its music," Edelstein writes

Does that mean I can go back to ordering cognac once in a while with a good meal, and people will stop thinking I love hip-hop? Please?

Lil Jon drinking buddy Daymond John for insight into the phenomenon: "It works because it's organic. ... It wasn't necessarily marketed to us; it was adopted by us, and people like that sense of discovery." One might add that the name Patrón-which means godfather and which conveys mafia-boss implications with or without translation-speaks to all subcultures that fetishize the Corleone work ethic.

How do those guys get anything done with the sheer amount of masturbating they engage in?

A booze-biz axiom has it that the Patron customer is paying top dollar not for the liquor but for the bottle. Edelstein is at her most delightfully direct in explaining precisely how right the saying is. Bringing the lessons of Galliano, Absolut, and for that matter Coca-Cola to bear on their approach to package design, Patron and its widow devised a handcrafted bottle meant to evoke the luxury of perfume. "No one had ever spent that much on packaging in the spirits industry-it almost matched the price of the contents. ... If additional investment was required to create a sense of luxury worthy of Patron, so be it." Consider her words a warning if you're tempted to shell out a couple hundred extra pesos for Patron's apian logo this weekend, or for Azuñia's "wood caps." You're better off selecting a bottle of a comparable product preferred by authorities such as and Talib Kweli: "

Or, just buy one bottle of Patron, and refill with cheaper stuff. I'm guessing that most of their fan base is guys buying it to try and get laid. The drunk chicks at those parties asking for Patron shots when you show up fashionably late swinging your bling-bottle around won't know the difference by then.
 
2013-05-04 11:36:30 AM  
Throwing away malformed URL: 404 bad hostname

Curse, you, Fark!

/just pretend the last paragraph above is not in italics
 
2013-05-04 12:02:45 PM  
Patron is actually pretty farking good tequila.  It's just overpriced.  If I'm drinking tequila, I'll buy Milagro at about half the price.
 
2013-05-04 12:18:58 PM  

Hoban Washburne: Patron is actually pretty farking good tequila.  It's just overpriced.  If I'm drinking tequila, I'll buy Milagro at about half the price.


Exactly.

Try to stomach it, subby??? What?

You smell poor. Have a bottle of Old Mr. Boston Tequila and be on your way.
 
2013-05-04 12:31:08 PM  

Hoban Washburne: Patron is actually pretty farking good tequila.  It's just overpriced.  If I'm drinking tequila, I'll buy Milagro at about half the price.


Love me some Milagro.
 
2013-05-04 01:50:10 PM  
Some kid over on the other side of the tracks has painted his old Buick green and covered it in various Patron stickers. It's almost as funny as seeing kids wearing sideways and upside down Louis Vuitton golf visors.

Bet he gets special attention at DUI checkpoints.
 
2013-05-04 01:50:29 PM  
I like Patron. Milagro is good too. Believe it or not, Sammy Hagar's tequilla Cabo Wabo is really good too.
 
2013-05-04 01:53:31 PM  
Patron  would be better if it use a little red plastic sombrero for a cap.
 
2013-05-04 01:53:38 PM  
tequila is some nasty shiat
 
2013-05-04 01:55:27 PM  

vernonFL: I like Patron. Milagro is good too. Believe it or not, Sammy Hagar's tequilla Cabo Wabo is really good too.


www.movie-censorship.com
Approves.
 
2013-05-04 01:56:24 PM  
Kah Tequila has a cool bottle. I'd buy it except it's way over priced and I haven't had a drop of tequila in over 22 years.
 
2013-05-04 02:03:59 PM  
Unlikely tag hung over?

Patron Silver is dang good tequila.  If I'm mixing margaritas, that's what I'll use.  I usually have a bottle of this stuff in my liquor cabinet.

The Patron Gold though, mediocre at best.
 
2013-05-04 02:09:22 PM  
Cazadores is very good.  Patron is ok if someone else is buying.
 
2013-05-04 02:23:01 PM  
dev.mezcal.com

^ greatest spirit I've ever had [inc. all whisk(e)ys]
 
2013-05-04 02:25:26 PM  
patron silver is excellent tequila and requires no sideshow of salt and lime. as mentioned before, cabo wabo is good too.
 
2013-05-04 02:30:49 PM  

Sid_6.7: How do those guys get anything done with the sheer amount of masturbating they engage in?


It's no different than anything or anyone else. 'Neck kids in Kansas all head to the Ford or Chevy dealership to buy an F-150 or Silverado with their first real paycheck, to drive back and forth on the highway to their light industrial factory job. PC modders/gamers sink more money into neon case lights than they do their wardrobe. Bro's all buy a $400 mountain bikes they never ride, just so they can ask chicks at the bar if they'd like to go mountain biking sometime.
 
2013-05-04 02:38:27 PM  
api.ning.com

Approves
 
2013-05-04 02:46:37 PM  
Avion is my new favorite tequila

Never really cared for Patron.
 
2013-05-04 03:19:42 PM  
Why would I suffer through a shot of any tequila when I have a perfectly good 5 gallon container of gasoline in my garage to dip into instead?
 
kab
2013-05-04 03:25:55 PM  
I better stop liking what I like.  Gotta keep as hip as Slate tells me to.

vernonFL: Believe it or not, Sammy Hagar's tequilla Cabo Wabo is really good too.


I agree.
 
2013-05-04 03:30:53 PM  
Patron is crap for the money, no way I'm paying that.  I get bottles of Hornitos Reposado - smooth, good flavor, no bite, and way less money than Patron.
 
2013-05-04 03:35:34 PM  

SCUBA_Archer: Cazadores is very good.  Patron is ok if someone else is buying.


Yes, Cazadores is very good, especially for the price (often available at Costco for relatively cheap).

Hell, even Sauza Hornitos is pretty good if you simply want an inexpensive tequila for mixing up a bunch of margaritas for friends.
 
2013-05-04 03:39:52 PM  
Herradura makes a better tequila than Patron. Or anyone.

But if you want to talk about riding a bottle, 1800 takes the cake. Barely tolerable for cooking.
 
2013-05-04 04:04:44 PM  
In my experience, the majority of people ordering Patron or smoking cigars are primarily doing it to be seen doing it, and if you gave most of them a shot of El Toro from a Patron bottle and a White Owl with a vaguely Cuban-looking band, they wouldn't notice the difference.
 
2013-05-04 04:08:13 PM  
No praise for Two Fingers?
Or was that retching?

Then there was something called el b(something) with the plastic sombrero cap....
(be afraid)
 
2013-05-04 04:18:39 PM  

Sid_6.7: Does that mean I can go back to ordering cognac once in a while with a good meal, and people will stop thinking I love hip-hop? Please?


So much THIS.  It's gotten to the point where I have to put a gold grille in my teeth and flash a gang sign just to pay for a bottle of Courvosier at the ABC store.  What I'm really worried about is that the hipsters might decide the drinking Cognac is an ironic burn on the hip-hop community and start ordering it at clubs.  I do have a strategy if that happens: tell everyone that I liked the struff before it was cool, and then uncool, and then cool again.  So just back off, hippy people.
 
2013-05-04 04:34:29 PM  
But can it pour me a shot?
 
2013-05-04 04:49:28 PM  

tillerman35: Sid_6.7: Does that mean I can go back to ordering cognac once in a while with a good meal, and people will stop thinking I love hip-hop? Please?

So much THIS.  It's gotten to the point where I have to put a gold grille in my teeth and flash a gang sign just to pay for a bottle of Courvosier at the ABC store.  What I'm really worried about is that the hipsters might decide the drinking Cognac is an ironic burn on the hip-hop community and start ordering it at clubs.  I do have a strategy if that happens: tell everyone that I liked the struff before it was cool, and then uncool, and then cool again.  So just back off, hippy people.


If any spirit is bound for Hipsterization (is that a word?) it has to be Gin:

- It's unpopular (in the USA & Canada, at least)
- It has a kick-ass history of nearly destroying the British
- Martinis are and always will be cool

All it needs is some folksy, bearded stoner to write a popular ode to Plymouth's finest (more obscure than London Gin, don't ya know!), and we're wearin' Wayfarers.
 
2013-05-04 05:13:49 PM  
Patron is fine for having a decent sip of tequila, but it is overpriced.

Cabo Wabo is absolute crap.

Most of the current tequilas on the shelf are crap.

Chinaco is a very, very good tequila, but good luck at finding it in most stores.
 
2013-05-04 05:17:16 PM  

skozlaw: Why would I suffer through a shot of any tequila when I have a perfectly good 5 gallon container of gasoline in my garage to dip into instead?


If you are having to shoot tequila with lime and salt, then you are being served crap tequila.  If you have to shoot any spirit, then you are being served crap.
 
2013-05-04 05:26:06 PM  
I could write a small book on tequila and a novel on rums.

Using an expensive tequila in a mix drink is a waste of money. Hornitos or el jimador are just fine for mixes. Just NEVER do shots of either. The premium patrons are quite smooth even though they are overpriced.. I keep a bottle of Tres Generaciones, don juilio and patron as my sippin' tequilas. I use to only buy silver hornitos for margaritas but the el jimador is similar n taste and cheaper than Sauza products where I live now. I do agree that Milagros does a great Tequila as well.

Its always margarita Fridays at my house.
 
2013-05-04 05:30:13 PM  
I like 1921 tequila. Give it a try if you don't know it.
 
2013-05-04 06:20:21 PM  
For mixed drinks:

www.examiner.com

For sipping:

images.businessweek.com

CSB: Several years ago, I went to an all-inclusive resort in Cancun north of the "hotel zone" with my girlfriend, and their booze selection included Don Julio Añejo.  While the lady was sunning herself at the pool, I was getting my money's worth at the bar.  I might have been on vacation, but my liver certainly was not.
 
2013-05-04 07:16:11 PM  

Sid_6.7: "Hip-hop is a community that has embraced Patrón as its drink of choice, even rhyming about the brand in its music," Edelstein writes

Does that mean I can go back to ordering cognac once in a while with a good meal, and people will stop thinking I love hip-hop? Please?

Lil Jon drinking buddy Daymond John for insight into the phenomenon: "It works because it's organic. ... It wasn't necessarily marketed to us; it was adopted by us, and people like that sense of discovery." One might add that the name Patrón-which means godfather and which conveys mafia-boss implications with or without translation-speaks to all subcultures that fetishize the Corleone work ethic.

How do those guys get anything done with the sheer amount of masturbating they engage in?

A booze-biz axiom has it that the Patron customer is paying top dollar not for the liquor but for the bottle. Edelstein is at her most delightfully direct in explaining precisely how right the saying is. Bringing the lessons of Galliano, Absolut, and for that matter Coca-Cola to bear on their approach to package design, Patron and its widow devised a handcrafted bottle meant to evoke the luxury of perfume. "No one had ever spent that much on packaging in the spirits industry-it almost matched the price of the contents. ... If additional investment was required to create a sense of luxury worthy of Patron, so be it." Consider her words a warning if you're tempted to shell out a couple hundred extra pesos for Patron's apian logo this weekend, or for Azuñia's "wood caps." You're better off selecting a bottle of a comparable product preferred by authorities such as and Talib Kweli: "

Or, just buy one bottle of Patron, and refill with cheaper stuff. I'm guessing that most of their fan base is guys buying it to try and get laid. The drunk chicks at those parties asking for Patron shots when you show up fashionably late swinging your bling-bottle around won't know the difference by then.


You seem really concerned about this.
 
2013-05-04 07:26:39 PM  

Spadababababababa Spadina Bus: tillerman35: Sid_6.7: 

If any spirit is bound for Hipsterization (is that a word?) it has to be Gin:

- It's unpopular (in the USA & Canada, at least)
- It has a kick-ass history of nearly destroying the British
- Martinis are and always will be cool

All it needs is some folksy, bearded stoner to write a popular ode to Plymouth's finest (more obscure than London Gin, don't ya know!), and we're wearin' Wayfarers.



Plymouth? If you're cool, you're already drinking American Gin, batch distilled in Portland:

http://aviationgin.com/american-gin/

That said, I can't make too much fun, because I do live in Portland, and I drink this stuff in bucket-loads (it's really, REALLY good). However, I am continually mystified why 50% of bartenders still look at me funny when I order a Tom Collins. Seriously? You don't know how to mix a farking Collins? It's got like two ingredients, and it's been around for over a hundred years. I ordered a Tom Collins the other day, and ended up with something completely clear, with salt around the rim. I have no idea what the fark it was, but I drank it anyway.
 
2013-05-04 07:27:11 PM  

Spadababababababa Spadina Bus: tillerman35: Sid_6.7: Does that mean I can go back to ordering cognac once in a while with a good meal, and people will stop thinking I love hip-hop? Please?

So much THIS.  It's gotten to the point where I have to put a gold grille in my teeth and flash a gang sign just to pay for a bottle of Courvosier at the ABC store.  What I'm really worried about is that the hipsters might decide the drinking Cognac is an ironic burn on the hip-hop community and start ordering it at clubs.  I do have a strategy if that happens: tell everyone that I liked the struff before it was cool, and then uncool, and then cool again.  So just back off, hippy people.

If any spirit is bound for Hipsterization (is that a word?) it has to be Gin:

- It's unpopular (in the USA & Canada, at least)
- It has a kick-ass history of nearly destroying the British
- Martinis are and always will be cool

All it needs is some folksy, bearded stoner to write a popular ode to Plymouth's finest (more obscure than London Gin, don't ya know!), and we're wearin' Wayfarers.


I thought gin already was hipsterized. I mean, I've had conversations with my hipster cousin about gin, Plymouth even, and how the gin and tonic is the perfect imperialist beverage.
 
2013-05-04 07:41:24 PM  
SCUBA_Archer: Cazadores is very good. Patron is ok if someone else is buying.

I farking hate cazadors

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-04 07:54:57 PM  
Patron always tastes like somebody took decent tequila, shook it with ice and then poured it back in the bottle. It's watery swill.
 
2013-05-04 08:03:00 PM  

valkore: For mixed drinks:

[www.examiner.com image 270x321]

For sipping:

[images.businessweek.com image 480x384]

CSB: Several years ago, I went to an all-inclusive resort in Cancun north of the "hotel zone" with my girlfriend, and their booze selection included Don Julio Añejo.  While the lady was sunning herself at the pool, I was getting my money's worth at the bar.  I might have been on vacation, but my liver certainly was not.


I have lost many a night to old Don Julio at the swim-ups in Tabacon and Lost Iguana. It's quite literally the only liqour I'd be willing to say I actually like.

Patron is foul stuff.
 
2013-05-04 09:04:40 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: In my experience, the majority of people ordering Patron or smoking cigars are primarily doing it to be seen doing it, and if you gave most of them a shot of El Toro from a Patron bottle and a White Owl with a vaguely Cuban-looking band, they wouldn't notice the difference.


THIS
 
2013-05-04 10:22:55 PM  
No love for...?

www.dutyfreedepot.com

Good to hear.  It's horrid.
 
2013-05-04 10:25:52 PM  
Now here's a real man's tequila

i453.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-04 10:35:54 PM  

relaxitsjustme: No love for...?

[www.dutyfreedepot.com image 300x300]

Good to hear.  It's horrid.


Drew's wallet certainly had love for it, for a while.

(featured partner)
(featured partner)
(featured partner)
 
2013-05-04 11:08:04 PM  
All tequila is nasty. Patron is probably the least nasty I've had. At least it's milder than Cuervo.
 
2013-05-04 11:34:18 PM  
i.imgur.com
Tequila is great, but great tequila is better. I've never met anyone who didn't like Clase Azul.
 
2013-05-04 11:35:32 PM  
And Patron is just fine for margaritas, but there are a ton of tequilas that are much better for sipping.
 
2013-05-04 11:42:33 PM  

relaxitsjustme: Now here's a real man's tequila

[i453.photobucket.com image 379x547]


Wow, is that pre-poorly-tattooed-asian-myspace, post-dwarf-slut Tequila?


/I'm a connoisseur
 
2013-05-05 12:06:38 AM  
I like Patron.  Farking expensive tho.  I'd drink more if it were half the price.
 
2013-05-05 01:07:46 AM  

Bane of Broone: You seem really concerned about this.


You seem really unable to contribute to a conversation. Also, overly concerned about my opinions.
 
2013-05-05 02:05:33 AM  
I will drink just about any tequila.

I'll never buy a bottle of Patron but I'll definitely order a crap load of shots at some ill fated bar.
 
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