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(Addicting Info)   Remember the 4th grade science test where the right answer is that god made dinosaurs on the 6th day? Turns out it was legit and the school administrator is shocked at the public's reaction. Awwww   (addictinginfo.org) divider line 326
    More: Followup, 4th grade, head teachers, South Carolina, emotional reaction, Ken Ham, Answers in Genesis, Western Washington, private schools  
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17296 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 May 2013 at 5:31 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-04 12:22:24 AM
Jesus Christ.
 
2013-05-04 12:27:02 AM
Pay attention, this may be on next week's Fark news quiz
 
2013-05-04 12:35:32 AM

Mentat: Jesus Christ.




... and the dinosaur he rode in on.
 
2013-05-04 12:58:29 AM
Ho lee crap. Kids who are forced to attend that school are going to be farked up for a long, long time.
 
2013-05-04 01:12:03 AM
silentpagoda.com
www.gifsforum.com
 
2013-05-04 01:20:41 AM
fta It seems that since the last presidential election, atheists have grown more confident about having something of a license to go after Christians.

Thanks, Obama
 
2013-05-04 01:23:26 AM
Math: Given a path 100 feet wide, 100 feet deep long, and 17 miles across, how many cubic cubits of water did Moses dump on Pharoah when he unparted the Red Sea?

/show your work
 
2013-05-04 01:33:02 AM
Aw, c'mon folks. This is a school in South Carolina. Most of these kids are going to grow up to work in the Chinese-owned refrigerator factory on the other side of town. How accurate of an education do you need for that?
 
2013-05-04 01:49:02 AM
Content aside that's a pretty f*cking poor test for 4th graders. Where's the ScanTrons?
 
2013-05-04 01:52:05 AM

Mr. Fuzzypaws: Content aside that's a pretty f*cking poor test for 4th graders. Where's the ScanTrons?


Filling in the little blobs with charcoal f*cked up the scanners
 
2013-05-04 01:54:59 AM

Mentat: Jesus Christ.


Jesus farking Christ

/Is that incest, brotherly love, or masterbation?
 
2013-05-04 02:55:46 AM
Those Chik-Fil-As aren't going to staff themselves, you know.
 
2013-05-04 05:32:41 AM
Were you there?
 
2013-05-04 05:34:29 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Math: Given a path 100 feet wide, 100 feet deep long, and 17 miles across, how many cubic cubits of water did Moses dump on Pharoah when he unparted the Red Sea?

/show your work


Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. What's a cubit?
 
2013-05-04 05:40:22 AM
Let's see if anyone from the "it's a fake" crowd in the last thread shows up to defend it...
 
2013-05-04 05:43:51 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Those Chik-Fil-As aren't going to staff themselves, you know.


1 internets for you!  Best laugh of the morning!
 
2013-05-04 05:44:28 AM
Uhh... well... not everyone can succeed in society I guess...
 
2013-05-04 05:46:11 AM
So when did Jesus predict the Third Impact would come?
 
2013-05-04 05:48:14 AM
Ya'll motherfarkers need FSM.
 
2013-05-04 05:49:32 AM

Fark Me To Tears: Aw, c'mon folks. This is a school in South Carolina. Most of these kids are going to grow up to work in the Chinese-owned refrigerator factory on the other side of town. How accurate of an education do you need for that?


Mr. Coffee Nerves: Those Chik-Fil-As aren't going to staff themselves, you know.


[yourenothelping.jpg]
 
2013-05-04 05:51:07 AM
www.skepticmoney.com
 
2013-05-04 05:52:54 AM
Snopes also included the other side of the test:  http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/sciencetest.asp

www.snopes.com
 
2013-05-04 05:53:06 AM
Considering this is South Carolina, these kids will probably grow up to be state legislators.
 
2013-05-04 05:53:11 AM
www.global-air.com

Most of us had parents who taught us to accept their religious beliefs as undeniable fact. But, do we have a right or obligation to ourselves to question a few things? (new window)
 
2013-05-04 05:53:16 AM
From somebody who was forced to endure this type of bullshiat at a christian private school during my elementary years, fark you sir, fark you indeed.
 
2013-05-04 05:53:55 AM
This test is a clear example of how the American education is going down the proverbial tubes. We really need to reassess the education system in this country because this sort of thing cannot occur. The title of the test is Dinosaurs: Genesis and the Gospel and yet there is a question from the Book of Job which is neither Genesis nor a Gospel. Disgusting.
 
2013-05-04 05:55:24 AM
Were they there?
 
2013-05-04 06:01:13 AM
I regret I have but one face to palm for my country :(
 
2013-05-04 06:04:10 AM
I think I'm just going to see how many times I can masturbate before I die. There's really nothing left to do for this country other than that, anyway.
 
2013-05-04 06:04:37 AM
i560.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-04 06:06:26 AM
I hadn't even heard of Young Earth creationism until I was 18.  My first encounter was through a YE creationist, who made some comment about Satan planting fossils to deceive us.  Because I didn't know that creationism was an actual thing, I laughed at his joke.

It stunned me when I was told that it wasn't a joke.  I was sure that I had just met the dumbest person in the entire world.  When I later learned that multiple people believe this, I felt disoriented, like the world as I knew and loved it was gone forever, the way that Baby Boomers must have felt when JFK died.
 
2013-05-04 06:07:09 AM
FTFA: After some digging by Snopes and others, and a confirmation from Answers In Genesis president Ken Ham...

Called it.
 
2013-05-04 06:10:36 AM
Put me down as someone who thought that test was satire.

This sort of miseducation is criminal.
 
2013-05-04 06:12:46 AM

Alphax: Put me down as someone who thought that test was satire.

This sort of miseducation is criminal.


Now maybe people will start believing that the Right are intentionally trying to keep people stupid.
 
2013-05-04 06:13:54 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-04 06:15:12 AM

Alphax: Put me down as someone who thought that test was satire.


I've been dealing with these cretins since 1981. I know the smell of their BS from miles away.
 
2013-05-04 06:18:00 AM

PunGent: Let's see if anyone from the "it's a fake" crowd in the last thread shows up to defend it...


Well in all fairness this is something that sounds so absurd that it's easy to believe it's fake.  It's sort of the inverse of Poe's Law.

/ wasn't in the last thread
// just saying...
 
2013-05-04 06:19:06 AM
So, if God is perfect and so is His Creation, why would He choose to kill them off? Did He not tell Noah to make the ark big enough, or not allow enough time? Or were they the misceginated offspring of angels farking lizards, or whatever?

And I still don't understand why faith is valuable to Him.
 
2013-05-04 06:22:44 AM

AdrienVeidt: So, if God is perfect and so is His Creation, why would He choose to kill them off? Did He not tell Noah to make the ark big enough, or not allow enough time? Or were they the misceginated offspring of angels farking lizards, or whatever?

And I still don't understand why faith is valuable to Him.


The ark was big enough for the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were only the size of sheep.

When they landed on Mt. Ararat, the problem was that the soaked ground had lost much of the vegetation that would have kept these reptiles alive. As a result, most of the dinosaur species went extinct soon after the Flood water subsided.

We still have some left, such as the gila monster, Komodo dragon, and crocodiles. But the vast majority of dinosaurs died in the Flood aftermath.
 
2013-05-04 06:28:03 AM

Captain Dan: I hadn't even heard of Young Earth creationism until I was 18.  My first encounter was through a YE creationist, who made some comment about Satan planting fossils to deceive us.  Because I didn't know that creationism was an actual thing, I laughed at his joke.

It stunned me when I was told that it wasn't a joke.  I was sure that I had just met the dumbest person in the entire world.  When I later learned that multiple people believe this, I felt disoriented, like the world as I knew and loved it was gone forever, the way that Baby Boomers must have felt when JFK died.


I always thought there were people who believed nutty things, but it took me a long time to understand that there were mechanisms that keep them in power over others. It's always hard to accept the evidence of your senses when they're telling you the inmates are running the asylum. See: 2002-2005
 
2013-05-04 06:28:24 AM

Captain Dan: I hadn't even heard of Young Earth creationism until I was 18.  My first encounter was through a YE creationist, who made some comment about Satan planting fossils to deceive us.  Because I didn't know that creationism was an actual thing, I laughed at his joke.

It stunned me when I was told that it wasn't a joke.  I was sure that I had just met the dumbest person in the entire world.  When I later learned that multiple people believe this, I felt disoriented, like the world as I knew and loved it was gone forever, the way that Baby Boomers must have felt when JFK died.


I f I ever meet one of these people, my reply is going to be something along the lines of "So your God is kind of an asshole then?"
 
2013-05-04 06:28:27 AM

Fark Me To Tears: Aw, c'mon folks. This is a school in South Carolina. Most of these kids are going to grow up to work in the Chinese-owned refrigerator factory on the other side of town. How accurate of an education do you need for that?


Boeing just built its newest plant in SC (although it's on the other side of the state from this school).

I don't feel safe flying anymore if the only thing holding the plane up is duck tape and prayers.
 
2013-05-04 06:30:10 AM
Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well. The internet hate machine is in full effect and they need to knock it off. You are doing nobody any favors by giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test.
 
2013-05-04 06:35:00 AM
I dunno, wouldn't a plane actually fly better if taped together with ducks?
 
2013-05-04 06:35:42 AM

Mrtraveler01: Fark Me To Tears: Aw, c'mon folks. This is a school in South Carolina. Most of these kids are going to grow up to work in the Chinese-owned refrigerator factory on the other side of town. How accurate of an education do you need for that?

Boeing just built its newest plant in SC (although it's on the other side of the state from this school).

I don't feel safe flying anymore if the only thing holding the plane up is duck tape and prayers.


I thought it was Arlo Guthrie holding the plane up.
 
2013-05-04 06:37:26 AM

Mrtraveler01: I don't feel safe flying anymore if the only thing holding the plane up is duck tape and prayers.


They actually make a sort of tape they use on airplane wings that's stronger than rivets.  I don't know if they use it for something as large as commercial airliners though.
 
2013-05-04 06:39:46 AM
I only offer a simple solution to such ignorance

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-04 06:40:13 AM
I keep saying "united federal standards for education", but you keep saying "but gadian! That will be the federal government telling us what we can teach our children in our schools.  We have the right to educate our children to whatever standards the dominant culture in our communities hold!"

The next thing you know, Jesus comes riding by on a dinosaur and tramples over the poor fourth graders.

Great.  Thanks.  I'm sure the dominant cultures in your communities appreciate your support.

/"states rights" and "local standards of education" fanatics squick me the hell out.
 
2013-05-04 06:40:25 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: AdrienVeidt: So, if God is perfect and so is His Creation, why would He choose to kill them off? Did He not tell Noah to make the ark big enough, or not allow enough time? Or were they the misceginated offspring of angels farking lizards, or whatever?

And I still don't understand why faith is valuable to Him.

The ark was big enough for the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were only the size of sheep.

When they landed on Mt. Ararat, the problem was that the soaked ground had lost much of the vegetation that would have kept these reptiles alive. As a result, most of the dinosaur species went extinct soon after the Flood water subsided.

We still have some left, such as the gila monster, Komodo dragon, and crocodiles. But the vast majority of dinosaurs died in the Flood aftermath.


I can only assume you're trolling at this point. Otherwise, you fail at anything remotely resembling science so hard that I'm surprised your skull doesn't implode.
 
2013-05-04 06:41:52 AM

LordJiro: AverageAmericanGuy: AdrienVeidt: So, if God is perfect and so is His Creation, why would He choose to kill them off? Did He not tell Noah to make the ark big enough, or not allow enough time? Or were they the misceginated offspring of angels farking lizards, or whatever?

And I still don't understand why faith is valuable to Him.

The ark was big enough for the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were only the size of sheep.

When they landed on Mt. Ararat, the problem was that the soaked ground had lost much of the vegetation that would have kept these reptiles alive. As a result, most of the dinosaur species went extinct soon after the Flood water subsided.

We still have some left, such as the gila monster, Komodo dragon, and crocodiles. But the vast majority of dinosaurs died in the Flood aftermath.

I can only assume you're trolling at this point. Otherwise, you fail at anything remotely resembling science so hard that I'm surprised your skull doesn't implode.


Upon reading some of your posts in the previous thread on the topic, yes, you are trolling. Farking Poe's Law.
 
2013-05-04 06:42:28 AM
Blind faith and going through life with blinders on is fine until you force it on someone else. You kids included!
 
2013-05-04 06:42:29 AM

randomjsa: irregardless

 
2013-05-04 06:43:13 AM

Mrtraveler01: Fark Me To Tears: Aw, c'mon folks. This is a school in South Carolina. Most of these kids are going to grow up to work in the Chinese-owned refrigerator factory on the other side of town. How accurate of an education do you need for that?

Boeing just built its newest plant in SC (although it's on the other side of the state from this school).

I don't feel safe flying anymore if the only thing holding the plane up is duck tape and prayers.


Nobody from SC probably works in that plant, except for the cleaning crew.
 
2013-05-04 06:43:29 AM
You = your
Too tired
 
2013-05-04 06:47:15 AM
planes:Most of us had parents who taught us to accept their religious beliefs as undeniable fact.

Only if your parents were batshiat insane/religious zealots.  Religious indoctrination was not a part of my upbringing or education one way or the other.
 
2013-05-04 06:47:46 AM

FurbyGoneFubar: Snopes also included the other side of the test:  http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/sciencetest.asp

[www.snopes.com image 500x667]


18 is precious.  I've got an idea: When these sorts of people tell you about how great Jesus Christ is, just ask them "Were you there?"
 
2013-05-04 06:49:53 AM
I thought decide what and how to teach was the point of private parochial school.  If this were a public school, I could understand why everyone is so smugly smugly superior in pointing out that it is not science but, I mean come on, it is a religious school.
 
2013-05-04 06:49:54 AM

AdrienVeidt: And I still don't understand why faith is valuable to Him.


It's not. It's valuable to the priests. Because it's all they have.
 
2013-05-04 06:49:59 AM

LordJiro: AverageAmericanGuy: AdrienVeidt: So, if God is perfect and so is His Creation, why would He choose to kill them off? Did He not tell Noah to make the ark big enough, or not allow enough time? Or were they the misceginated offspring of angels farking lizards, or whatever?

And I still don't understand why faith is valuable to Him.

The ark was big enough for the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were only the size of sheep.

When they landed on Mt. Ararat, the problem was that the soaked ground had lost much of the vegetation that would have kept these reptiles alive. As a result, most of the dinosaur species went extinct soon after the Flood water subsided.

We still have some left, such as the gila monster, Komodo dragon, and crocodiles. But the vast majority of dinosaurs died in the Flood aftermath.

I can only assume you're trolling at this point. Otherwise, you fail at anything remotely resembling science so hard that I'm surprised your skull doesn't implode.


Did you read the second page of the test? It says clearly that dinosaurs were the size of sheep.
 
2013-05-04 06:51:34 AM

Old Man Winter: I thought decide what and how to teach was the point of private parochial school.  If this were a public school, I could understand why everyone is so smugly smugly superior in pointing out that it is not science but, I mean come on, it is a religious school.


Not an excuse for child abuse.
 
2013-05-04 06:52:17 AM
The same "test" is also used in History, Math, Writing, and Sex Ed classes in that school.
 
2013-05-04 06:52:47 AM

FurbyGoneFubar: Snopes also included the other side of the test:  http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/sciencetest.asp

[www.snopes.com image 500x667]


It's more horrifying than the first page.
 
2013-05-04 06:53:03 AM
Just let the South secede already.

They can set up the 3rd World theocracy they seem to want so badly.  With outlawed abortion, no environmental protection, no regulations, no worker rights, and mandatory gun ownership.

And we can have the progressive, modern democracy, with single-payer universal healthcare, high speed rail, electric cars, a living wage, a healthy middle class, sensible gun control, and strict separation of church and state.

Think how much better things would be without those Neanderthals holding us back from every measure of progress!  Fighting to save the Union was the biggest mistake the US ever made.
 
2013-05-04 06:54:06 AM

Doc Daneeka: Just let the South secede already.


...why punish the few smart people for the sins of the stupid?
 
2013-05-04 06:55:05 AM

IlGreven: FurbyGoneFubar: Snopes also included the other side of the test:  http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/sciencetest.asp

[www.snopes.com image 500x667]

18 is precious.  I've got an idea: When these sorts of people tell you about how great Jesus Christ is, just ask them "Were you there?"


They will respond by explaining that they were not there, but that the Author of the book who explains what occurred was there.

I have been informed that requesting validation of their claim of the book's authorship is an attack against Christianity.
 
2013-05-04 06:55:13 AM
And why is Al that 'begat' stuff so important while everything between Jesus' birth and age 30 irrelevant?

And if the whole of Creation an experiment about Humanity's free will and what we do with it, what would God have done if Judas had decided against betraying Jesus? Did God really let His Plan rest on one man, or was Judas pre-ordained - i.e. forced - to do it so there would be a point to Jesus' life as a man?
 
2013-05-04 06:58:01 AM

Old Man Winter: I thought decide what and how to teach was the point of private parochial school.  If this were a public school, I could understand why everyone is so smugly smugly superior in pointing out that it is not science but, I mean come on, it is a religious school.


It's true. They can teach what they want.

But my God, way to set up those kids for failure in the future.

The best hope these kids have is to work as a stock boy/girl at Food Lion.

All that being said, the person sent their kid to a religious school in a part of SC that is notorious for taking religion to derpy extremes. Was that parent really expecting a quality education at this school?
 
2013-05-04 06:58:24 AM

AdrienVeidt: And why is Al that 'begat' stuff so important while everything between Jesus' birth and age 30 irrelevant?

And if the whole of Creation an experiment about Humanity's free will and what we do with it, what would God have done if Judas had decided against betraying Jesus? Did God really let His Plan rest on one man, or was Judas pre-ordained - i.e. forced - to do it so there would be a point to Jesus' life as a man?


Man, Judas was just farked by God from the day he was born.  Can you imagine that realization that everything you've ever done in your whole life was just so you could get the son of God killed and that your free will meant nothing and that God chose you out of all humanity for this honor?  Before you were born.  I'd hang myself too.
 
2013-05-04 06:58:57 AM

AdrienVeidt: And why is Al that 'begat' stuff so important while everything between Jesus' birth and age 30 irrelevant?


Bona fides. The Israelites were trying to secure their claim to whatever land they wanted to take by force from the people who were already there.
 
2013-05-04 06:59:54 AM

gadian: AdrienVeidt: And why is Al that 'begat' stuff so important while everything between Jesus' birth and age 30 irrelevant?

And if the whole of Creation an experiment about Humanity's free will and what we do with it, what would God have done if Judas had decided against betraying Jesus? Did God really let His Plan rest on one man, or was Judas pre-ordained - i.e. forced - to do it so there would be a point to Jesus' life as a man?

Man, Judas was just farked by God from the day he was born.  Can you imagine that realization that everything you've ever done in your whole life was just so you could get the son of God killed and that your free will meant nothing and that God chose you out of all humanity for this honor?  Before you were born.  I'd hang myself too.


And God hardened the heart of the Pharaoh many times.. just to make sure he got to use all of the plagues on him.  What a prick.
 
2013-05-04 07:00:18 AM

Dimensio: IlGreven: FurbyGoneFubar: Snopes also included the other side of the test:  http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/sciencetest.asp

[www.snopes.com image 500x667]

18 is precious.  I've got an idea: When these sorts of people tell you about how great Jesus Christ is, just ask them "Were you there?"

They will respond by explaining that they were not there, but that the Author of the book who explains what occurred was there.

I have been informed that requesting validation of their claim of the book's authorship is an attack against Christianity.


So to sum it up:

-Scientific data that has been able to calculate how old the universe is = Fake
-The age of the universe as told by some guys who wrote the book long after the universe was created = totes legit

And I say all of this as a Christian.
 
2013-05-04 07:00:24 AM
randomjsa (farkied: "Holy fnck you're an idiot." - Nina_Hartley's_Ass): Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well.

Yeah, the noive of some people, insisting that a science class should teach actual science.
 
2013-05-04 07:01:40 AM

Alphax: And God hardened the heart of the Pharaoh many times.. just to make sure he got to use all of the plagues on him. What a prick.


Don't even get me started on creating angels with no free will who rebelled against him and that he directly, purposely created the source of all evil.
 
2013-05-04 07:04:10 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Were you there?


Yes actually, yes I was there and no, it did not happen like that at all.
No that isn't a dinosaur feather in my hat, you may not touch it.
 
2013-05-04 07:04:37 AM

namatad: /Is that incest, brotherly love, or masterbation?


Don't even get started on god being Jesus's father... but god and jesus are the same..

AverageAmericanGuy: Were you there?


Yes. next question?

AverageAmericanGuy: The ark was big enough for the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were only the size of sheep


How the fark do you know? Were you there?
 
2013-05-04 07:04:38 AM

Mrtraveler01: FurbyGoneFubar: Snopes also included the other side of the test:  http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/sciencetest.asp

[www.snopes.com image 500x667]

It's more horrifying than the first page.


Most of that stuff is verbatim Ken Ham material. "Were you there?" and "Billions of dead things buried in rock layers covered by water all over the earth" have been Ken Ham catchphrases since at least the '90's.
 
2013-05-04 07:06:07 AM

maddogdelta: AverageAmericanGuy: The ark was big enough for the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were only the size of sheep

How the fark do you know? Were you there?


I see what you did there.
 
2013-05-04 07:08:57 AM

Lee Jackson Beauregard: randomjsa (farkied: "Holy fnck you're an idiot." - Nina_Hartley's_Ass): Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well.

Yeah, the noive of some people, insisting that a science class should teach actual science.


It would be fine if the criticism stopped there.  But it goes far beyond that, as this thread demonstrates.
 
2013-05-04 07:09:17 AM
Does anyone know the actual average size of dinosaurs (and/or where I can find that info)? I gave it a go when I first saw this shiat, but I had no luck in finding an 'average' size.

Plus, it doesn't even say which era, so if it's 'dinosaurs over all time' are we counting chickens or what?
 
2013-05-04 07:09:29 AM

gadian: Don't even get me started on creating angels with no free will who rebelled against him and that he directly, purposely created the source of all evil.


Yes, the first of the host if I remember (and thus the prototype), cast out of heaven for being remarkably human in his attitude (fark this, fark you).

OTOH the Bible does seem to intimate that if you don't try and fark with him he won't try and fark with you for the most part.  Unlike his creator who can, will and repeatedly does fark with a great many people for pure lulz.
 
2013-05-04 07:09:31 AM

Old enough to know better: Captain Dan: I hadn't even heard of Young Earth creationism until I was 18.  My first encounter was through a YE creationist, who made some comment about Satan planting fossils to deceive us.  Because I didn't know that creationism was an actual thing, I laughed at his joke.

It stunned me when I was told that it wasn't a joke.  I was sure that I had just met the dumbest person in the entire world.  When I later learned that multiple people believe this, I felt disoriented, like the world as I knew and loved it was gone forever, the way that Baby Boomers must have felt when JFK died.

I f I ever meet one of these people, my reply is going to be something along the lines of "So your God is kind of an asshole then?"


If the account in Genesis is true, then God needs to have His engineering license pulled.  The whole world went to schitt because Adam and Eve ate from the wrong tree?  If I built an airplane that fell apart on the failure of a single rivet, the FAA would never let it fly, yet God in His infinite wisdom builds the whole world with a glaring single point of failure?

Or maybe God did it on purpose -- set Adam and Eve up.  Suppose I built a church in soaring Gothic architecture, but with explosives on the load-bearing elements triggered by a rope hanging from a ceiling.  A sign reading DO NOT PULL THIS ROPE OR YOU WILL SURELY DIE is unlikely to save any lives or excuse me.  Y'all know as well as I that sooner or later some wise guy is going to give that rope a good solid yank.
 
2013-05-04 07:09:44 AM
An issue I have with the article:

How horrible it must be to feel it necessary to lie to children because of your own insecurity. What a sad way to go through life, needing to have everyone you know - and often those you don't - believe exactly the same as you.

The problem here is these people are not "lying" in the sense that they are willfully deceiving these children.  The problem is that they fully believe YE creationism as facts, that they are horribly misguided in their version of "science" and are teaching gullible children things that are not "science" in a science classroom.  At least give the parent of this child some credit -- he's pulling his child out of this "school" at the end of the school year.

Now, when you teach the children YE creationism and then teach them "what to say" on an actual science test to get the right answers on evolution, you are then teaching children to lie.  I'm pretty sure an angel loses its wings when you do that.  Way to go, Christians.
 
2013-05-04 07:11:12 AM

maddogdelta: How the fark do you know? Were you there?


No he wasn't, hey remember me?  I did the doughnut run whilst we were watching the T.Rex's.
 
2013-05-04 07:11:41 AM

Dog Welder: when you teach the children YE creationism and then teach them "what to say" on an actual science test to get the right answers on evolution, you are then teaching children to lie.  I'm pretty sure an angel loses its wings when you do that.  Way to go, Christians.


Lighten up, Francis. There's no such thing as angels.
 
2013-05-04 07:13:08 AM

AdrienVeidt: And why is Al that 'begat' stuff so important while everything between Jesus' birth and age 30 irrelevant?


Have you read any of the infancy gospels? IMO they were to embarrassed to include that stuff in the bible.
 
2013-05-04 07:13:08 AM

Mrtraveler01: Old Man Winter: I thought decide what and how to teach was the point of private parochial school.  If this were a public school, I could understand why everyone is so smugly smugly superior in pointing out that it is not science but, I mean come on, it is a religious school.

It's true. They can teach what they want.

But my God, way to set up those kids for failure in the future.

The best hope these kids have is to work as a stock boy/girl at Food Lion.

All that being said, the person sent their kid to a religious school in a part of SC that is notorious for taking religion to derpy extremes. Was that parent really expecting a quality education at this school?


The parent was probably thinking something like, I want my daughter to grow up not to be sexually promiscuous, using drugs, covered in tattoos, rebellious against religious or social authority, etc. And he thinks that a Christian academy is going to accomplish that.

So he may end up with a teen daughter whi is everything he didn't want her to be, precisely because she's profoundly ignorant about literally everything.
 
2013-05-04 07:13:14 AM

Lady Indica: Does anyone know the actual average size of dinosaurs (and/or where I can find that info)? I gave it a go when I first saw this shiat, but I had no luck in finding an 'average' size.

Plus, it doesn't even say which era, so if it's 'dinosaurs over all time' are we counting chickens or what?


This is Sue, the T-Rex that is on display at the Field Museum in Chicago. I guess God just put this here to test our faith:

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-04 07:15:22 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Dog Welder: when you teach the children YE creationism and then teach them "what to say" on an actual science test to get the right answers on evolution, you are then teaching children to lie.  I'm pretty sure an angel loses its wings when you do that.  Way to go, Christians.

Lighten up, Francis. There's no such thing as angels.


Says you:

ts2.mm.bing.net

/Yes I know it turns out to be fake in the end
 
2013-05-04 07:15:44 AM

Mrtraveler01: Lady Indica: Does anyone know the actual average size of dinosaurs (and/or where I can find that info)? I gave it a go when I first saw this shiat, but I had no luck in finding an 'average' size.

Plus, it doesn't even say which era, so if it's 'dinosaurs over all time' are we counting chickens or what?

This is Sue, the T-Rex that is on display at the Field Museum in Chicago. I guess God just put this here to test our faith:

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 800x600]


No, a team of men put it there. God is so much greater than Man.
 
2013-05-04 07:15:59 AM
LordJiro:

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. What's a cubit?

Let's see here, I used to know what a cubit was...
 
2013-05-04 07:16:19 AM
Since evolution is a fact, we only have to wait for the fundamentalists to winnow themselves from the gene pool.
 
2013-05-04 07:16:34 AM

Mrtraveler01: AverageAmericanGuy: Dog Welder: when you teach the children YE creationism and then teach them "what to say" on an actual science test to get the right answers on evolution, you are then teaching children to lie.  I'm pretty sure an angel loses its wings when you do that.  Way to go, Christians.

Lighten up, Francis. There's no such thing as angels.

Says you:

[ts2.mm.bing.net image 300x230]

/Yes I know it turns out to be fake in the end


"the Simpsons did it" has become irrefutable evidence.
 
2013-05-04 07:17:04 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Math: Given a path 100 feet wide, 100 feet deep long, and 17 miles across, how many cubic cubits of water did Moses dump on Pharoah when he unparted the Red Sea?

/show your work


Let's see...assuming a standard mile of 5280 feet and a standard cubit of 18 inches...
 

17 miles = 1077120 inches
100 ft = 1200 inches

12002 = 1440000 square inches

1077120 * 1200 = 1292544000 square inches

1292544000 / 18 = 71808000 square cubits

1440000 / 18 = 80000 square cubits

1292544000 *  80000  = 103,403,520,000,000 cubic cubits.

I think...I was an English major.
 
2013-05-04 07:17:47 AM

Bubbacus: Since evolution is a fact, we only have to wait for the fundamentalists to winnow themselves from the gene pool.


That may take a while, with all the babies they have, either through ignorance, or to deliberately birth an army for God.
 
2013-05-04 07:17:55 AM

Mrtraveler01: This is Sue, the T-Rex that is on display at the Field Museum in Chicago. I guess God just put this here to test our faith:


You know, I really hope their tails were prehensile.  Can you imagine how grumpy Sue would have been if she had an itch in a spot her back legs couldn't reach?  And I also just like the idea of dinosaurs with prehensile tails.
 
2013-05-04 07:18:56 AM
"These secularists want to impose their anti-God religion on the culture. "

Great. Now objective reality is a religion.
 
2013-05-04 07:19:05 AM

planes: [www.global-air.com image 150x195]

Most of us had parents who taught us to accept their religious beliefs as undeniable fact. But, do we have a right or obligation to ourselves to question a few things? (new window)


Very nice :D
 
2013-05-04 07:19:17 AM

Lady Indica: Does anyone know the actual average size of dinosaurs (and/or where I can find that info)? I gave it a go when I first saw this shiat, but I had no luck in finding an 'average' size.

Plus, it doesn't even say which era, so if it's 'dinosaurs over all time' are we counting chickens or what?


The reason you can't find it is that it's a pointless question from a scientific perspective. It's on this "quiz" to address a question every kid would ask: how did they get those huge dinosaurs on the ark? For once, they knew they couldn't use the old "God's special, mysterious magic" canard. Adults will swallow that shiat, and kids will on a lot of things. But not dinosaurs. The fundies grabbed a bear by the tail when they decided to incorporate dinosaurs into their fairy tale education program.
 
2013-05-04 07:19:21 AM

Lady Indica: Does anyone know the actual average size of dinosaurs (and/or where I can find that info)? I gave it a go when I first saw this shiat, but I had no luck in finding an 'average' size.


Estimates of median dinosaur mass range from 500 kg to 5 metric tons,
 
2013-05-04 07:19:24 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Mrtraveler01: Lady Indica: Does anyone know the actual average size of dinosaurs (and/or where I can find that info)? I gave it a go when I first saw this shiat, but I had no luck in finding an 'average' size.

Plus, it doesn't even say which era, so if it's 'dinosaurs over all time' are we counting chickens or what?

This is Sue, the T-Rex that is on display at the Field Museum in Chicago. I guess God just put this here to test our faith:

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 800x600]

No, a team of men put it there. God is so much greater than Man.


Ironically the skeleton was found just outside of Faith, SD.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sue_%28dinosaur%29

Coincidence?

/probably
 
2013-05-04 07:20:14 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Mrtraveler01: AverageAmericanGuy: Dog Welder: when you teach the children YE creationism and then teach them "what to say" on an actual science test to get the right answers on evolution, you are then teaching children to lie.  I'm pretty sure an angel loses its wings when you do that.  Way to go, Christians.

Lighten up, Francis. There's no such thing as angels.

Says you:

[ts2.mm.bing.net image 300x230]

/Yes I know it turns out to be fake in the end

"the Simpsons did it" has become irrefutable evidence.


That's what happens when you've been on for 22 seasons.
 
2013-05-04 07:21:06 AM
Science and the theory of evolution actually flatters the creator. The way it was laid out in Genesis is so the small minds of the day could get their head around it. Anyone who takes Genesis word for word is a tool.
 
2013-05-04 07:21:15 AM

Mrtraveler01: AverageAmericanGuy: Mrtraveler01: Lady Indica: Does anyone know the actual average size of dinosaurs (and/or where I can find that info)? I gave it a go when I first saw this shiat, but I had no luck in finding an 'average' size.

Plus, it doesn't even say which era, so if it's 'dinosaurs over all time' are we counting chickens or what?

This is Sue, the T-Rex that is on display at the Field Museum in Chicago. I guess God just put this here to test our faith:

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 800x600]

No, a team of men put it there. God is so much greater than Man.

Ironically the skeleton was found just outside of Faith, SD.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sue_%28dinosaur%29

Coincidence?

/probably


And it's in Chicago now?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing.
 
2013-05-04 07:21:49 AM

Fochstockings: LordJiro:

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. What's a cubit?

Let's see here, I used to know what a cubit was...


Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Am I on Candid Camera?
 
2013-05-04 07:22:17 AM

Lady Indica: Does anyone know the actual average size of dinosaurs (and/or where I can find that info)? I gave it a go when I first saw this shiat, but I had no luck in finding an 'average' size.

Plus, it doesn't even say which era, so if it's 'dinosaurs over all time' are we counting chickens or what?


The average size was about the size of a sheep. You can refer to the second page of the test above.
 
2013-05-04 07:23:40 AM
www.weknowawesome.com
 
2013-05-04 07:24:04 AM

Matthew Keene: Science and the theory of evolution actually flatters the creator. The way it was laid out in Genesis is so the small minds of the day could get their head around it. Anyone who takes Genesis word for word is a tool.


Anyone who follows the Bible word for word is a tool.

It's full of contradictions and some pretty terrible and disgusting stuff. And yet the holy rollers pick and choose what they want to believe in while simultaneously criticizing anyone who disagrees with them by picking and choosing other parts of the Bible to follow instead.

Hypocrites.
 
2013-05-04 07:25:13 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Mrtraveler01: AverageAmericanGuy: Mrtraveler01: Lady Indica: Does anyone know the actual average size of dinosaurs (and/or where I can find that info)? I gave it a go when I first saw this shiat, but I had no luck in finding an 'average' size.

Plus, it doesn't even say which era, so if it's 'dinosaurs over all time' are we counting chickens or what?

This is Sue, the T-Rex that is on display at the Field Museum in Chicago. I guess God just put this here to test our faith:

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 800x600]

No, a team of men put it there. God is so much greater than Man.

Ironically the skeleton was found just outside of Faith, SD.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sue_%28dinosaur%29

Coincidence?

/probably

And it's in Chicago now?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing.


I see what you did there.
 
2013-05-04 07:26:11 AM

Matthew Keene: Science and the theory of evolution actually flatters the creator. The way it was laid out in Genesis is so the small minds of the day could get their head around it. Anyone who takes Genesis word for word is a tool.


A truly intelligent designer would create a system that would grow and change to make itself more efficient.  With that in mind, why couldn't God have started with the Big Bang, then sat back and watched it all unfold?  Perhaps its his form of entertainment (SimCity, Divine Edition?), or maybe God is using the universe as an experiment for His science fair project?
 
2013-05-04 07:26:26 AM
www.southtexascollege.edu
 
2013-05-04 07:27:27 AM

LordJiro: AverageAmericanGuy: AdrienVeidt: So, if God is perfect and so is His Creation, why would He choose to kill them off? Did He not tell Noah to make the ark big enough, or not allow enough time? Or were they the misceginated offspring of angels farking lizards, or whatever?

And I still don't understand why faith is valuable to Him.

The ark was big enough for the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were only the size of sheep.

When they landed on Mt. Ararat, the problem was that the soaked ground had lost much of the vegetation that would have kept these reptiles alive. As a result, most of the dinosaur species went extinct soon after the Flood water subsided.

We still have some left, such as the gila monster, Komodo dragon, and crocodiles. But the vast majority of dinosaurs died in the Flood aftermath.

I can only assume you're trolling at this point. Otherwise, you fail at anything remotely resembling science so hard that I'm surprised your skull doesn't implode.


Why do you consider funny sarcasm trolling? Unless the standards for trolling have severely declined. . .
 
2013-05-04 07:28:38 AM
I swear to christ we're like 10 generations tops from herding these morons for food.
 
2013-05-04 07:30:57 AM

Mentat: Jesus Christ.


No.


Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick.
 
2013-05-04 07:31:38 AM

fredbox: I think I'm just going to see how many times I can masturbate before I die. There's really nothing left to do for this country other than that, anyway.


About that...

http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/537976-lol-jesus
 
2013-05-04 07:31:50 AM

Doc Daneeka: Just let the South secede already.

They can set up the 3rd World theocracy they seem to want so badly.  With outlawed abortion, no environmental protection, no regulations, no worker rights, and mandatory gun ownership.

And we can have the progressive, modern democracy, with single-payer universal healthcare, high speed rail, electric cars, a living wage, a healthy middle class, sensible gun control, and strict separation of church and state.

Think how much better things would be without those Neanderthals holding us back from every measure of progress!  Fighting to save the Union was the biggest mistake the US ever made.


Yeah, the North knows something about a living wage, lol. Also, you want an enemy state like that on your doorstep? You're asking for invasion and 'conversion' lol.
 
2013-05-04 07:33:18 AM

Matthew Keene: Mentat: Jesus Christ.

No.


Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick.


img.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-04 07:34:08 AM

Uncle Tractor: AdrienVeidt: And why is Al that 'begat' stuff so important while everything between Jesus' birth and age 30 irrelevant?

Have you read any of the infancy gospels? IMO they were to embarrassed to include that stuff in the bible.


Oh, I know all the answers to the questions I'm asking: the Bible is a manmade artifact with no legitimacy. I'm basically just typing out of frustration over how embarrassing it is to be an American these days.
 
2013-05-04 07:34:17 AM
Willfully ignorant regressive morons... And they're raising the next generation of morons.
 
2013-05-04 07:35:31 AM
My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.
 
2013-05-04 07:36:56 AM

gadian: Alphax: And God hardened the heart of the Pharaoh many times.. just to make sure he got to use all of the plagues on him. What a prick.

Don't even get me started on creating angels with no free will who rebelled against him and that he directly, purposely created the source of all evil.


It don't say nothin' 'bout angels havin' no free will in THE BIBLE, does it?
 
2013-05-04 07:37:27 AM

Kibbler: Lady Indica: Does anyone know the actual average size of dinosaurs (and/or where I can find that info)? I gave it a go when I first saw this shiat, but I had no luck in finding an 'average' size.

Plus, it doesn't even say which era, so if it's 'dinosaurs over all time' are we counting chickens or what?

The reason you can't find it is that it's a pointless question from a scientific perspective. It's on this "quiz" to address a question every kid would ask: how did they get those huge dinosaurs on the ark? For once, they knew they couldn't use the old "God's special, mysterious magic" canard. Adults will swallow that shiat, and kids will on a lot of things. But not dinosaurs. The fundies grabbed a bear by the tail when they decided to incorporate dinosaurs into their fairy tale education program.


I've seen the pics from the Creationist Museum that aussie fundie runs. Holy farking shiat.
 
2013-05-04 07:38:05 AM

Doc Daneeka: Just let the South secede already.


Why?

They're all free to leave whenever they feel like it. I see no reason why they should be allowed to take the land and infrastructure with them.

Besides, they already tried that and failed miserably. Thankfully the Federal Government was nice enough to let them back in and rebuild their shiat hole for them.
 
2013-05-04 07:38:49 AM

maddogdelta: namatad: /Is that incest, brotherly love, or masterbation?

Don't even get started on god being Jesus's father... but god and jesus are the same..

AverageAmericanGuy: Were you there?

Yes. next question?

AverageAmericanGuy: The ark was big enough for the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were only the size of sheep

How the fark do you know? Were you there?


Holy crap, Jesus is a time traveler? :D
 
2013-05-04 07:39:17 AM

baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.


Ok, I'll bite, I havent had enough coffee this morning.

The problem with your last sentence is that this isnt education, its indoctrination. Theyre not learning anything of value in a modern society.
 
2013-05-04 07:40:14 AM

baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.


I sent my kid to a Christian summer school program the last two years when I visited the mainland. Just the other day he told me he was excited to go visit grandma and God in Seattle. Apparently God lives in Seattle, or maybe in America. He's not here in Japan.

I also explained last night that the tooth fairy trades lost teeth for money because she needs to give those teeth to babies who will need them.

Polytheism is pretty sweet.
 
2013-05-04 07:40:42 AM

baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.


Just don't be suprised when she grows up a brain washed idiot so you could indulge your parental anxiety/paranoia issues.
 
2013-05-04 07:42:02 AM

Captain Dan: My first encounter was through a YE creationist, who made some comment about Satan planting fossils to deceive us.


By attributing to Satan the ability to create things, that person was committing the Manichean heresy.  He's going to Hell.
 
2013-05-04 07:42:58 AM

baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.


Catholic schools aren't too bad and keep the derp to a minimum. My parents were raised in the Catholic school system and they didn't turn into brainwashed zombies like the children at Blue Ridge Christian Academy did.

I guess my advice is make sure it's a Catholic school before going any further.
 
2013-05-04 07:43:49 AM
Why are we killing religious fanatics half-way across the world when we have so many of our own right here? Oh, and make sure to get their corporate sponsors as well.
 
2013-05-04 07:44:46 AM
The problem is the Derp Brigade has changed their focus.

Back when everything was "Fear the Russkies! They's going to use that science stuff what for to destroy America" it was ok to invest in science and schools to out-science the enemy and win.

Now, instead of "Fear them there Chinamen! They's going to use that science stuff and not even bother to destroy America, just use it to turn us into cheap low-skilled labor" they've chosen to go with "The Mooslins want to turn America into an anti-science theocracy ruled by their 'holy book' -- we better beat 'em to it with *our* version!"
 
2013-05-04 07:46:09 AM

keylock71: Doc Daneeka: Just let the South secede already.

Why?

They're all free to leave whenever they feel like it. I see no reason why they should be allowed to take the land and infrastructure with them.

Besides, they already tried that and failed miserably. Thankfully the Federal Government was nice enough to let them back in and rebuild their shiat hole for them.


At this point, I'm willing to let them keep the land and resources as the price to pay for being rid of them and letting the rest of us move on with some sensible policies.


Besides, it'd probably only be temporary.  The South would be a bankrupt, failed state within 10 years. We'd be free to step back in and pick up the pieces if we wanted.within

 
2013-05-04 07:46:27 AM

Bubbacus: Since evolution is a fact, we only have to wait for the fundamentalists to winnow themselves from the gene pool.


Last I heard, evolution was still a theory. A good theory mind you, but a theory nonetheless :D
 
2013-05-04 07:46:39 AM

FurbyGoneFubar: Snopes also included the other side of the test:  http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/sciencetest.asp

[www.snopes.com image 500x667]


Hrmm...

I know I'm wasting my time, but #18?  Radiometric age dating, how the fark does it work?

Still, that kid's response to the question also seems like a good retort the next time someone refers to anything in the bible as fact.
 
2013-05-04 07:47:00 AM

baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.


In all flat-out honesty: you're a terrible parent. You choose to fill your child's head with lies because it's convenient for you. You are *exactly* what's wrong with our declining society.
 
2013-05-04 07:47:46 AM

randomjsa: Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well. The internet hate machine is in full effect and they need to knock it off. You are doing nobody any favors by giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test.


No! They need to be hated, they need to ridiculed and laughed out of town. Their life needs to be made miserable. How can stupidity of that magnitude be allowed to continue to exist? Teaching BS like that to children is a criminal offense to me and probably every other human being with an IQ above that of sliced bread.
 
2013-05-04 07:47:47 AM

Mrtraveler01: Catholic schools aren't too bad and keep the derp to a minimum. My parents were raised in the Catholic school system and they didn't turn into brainwashed zombies like the children at Blue Ridge Christian Academy did.

I guess my advice is make sure it's a Catholic school before going any further.


My parents made me take christian studies at a catholic school in Buffalo, NY and they went out of their way to separate religion and science. Science was this world and religion was for moral decisions and the afterlife. Apparently this is not the norm everywhere today. I would have to call this child abuse.
 
2013-05-04 07:50:28 AM

Mrtraveler01: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

Catholic schools aren't too bad and keep the derp to a minimum. My parents were raised in the Catholic school system and they didn't turn into brainwashed zombies like the children at Blue Ridge Christian Academy did.

I guess my advice is make sure it's a Catholic school before going any further.




If you're going to go to a private Christian school, make it a Jesuit school.

I went to a Jesuit high school and university. The Jesuits are fairly liberal as far as Catholics go. The keep the religious dogma confined to the religion class. They do not teach biblical literalism. And they are strong on developing critical thinking skills.

I daresay it's the solid Jesuit education I received that made me the staunch liberal agnostic I am today.
 
2013-05-04 07:51:06 AM

Old enough to know better: Considering this is South Carolina, these kids will probably grow up to be state legislators.


And then you can go hike the appalachian trail.
 
2013-05-04 07:51:41 AM

Hack Patooey: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

Ok, I'll bite, I havent had enough coffee this morning.

The problem with your last sentence is that this isnt education, its indoctrination. Theyre not learning anything of value in a modern society.


To be fair, this isn't christian. They are stretching the bible to fit the scientific facts. Just like the assholes who stretch jihad to mean terrorism, but at least these guys arn't being violent.
 
2013-05-04 07:51:46 AM

Doc Daneeka: At this point, I'm willing to let them keep the land and resources as the price to pay for being rid of them and letting the rest of us move on with some sensible policies.


Besides, it'd probably only be temporary.  The South would be a bankrupt, failed state within 10 years. We'd be free to step back in and pick up the pieces if we wanted.within


Fine... We'll keep a few of the hillbillies around to BBQ for us, make whiskey and pluck banjos and such for our amusement. : )
 
2013-05-04 07:52:24 AM

Captain Dan: I hadn't even heard of Young Earth creationism until I was 18.  My first encounter was through a YE creationist, who made some comment about Satan planting fossils to deceive us.  Because I didn't know that creationism was an actual thing, I laughed at his joke.

It stunned me when I was told that it wasn't a joke.  I was sure that I had just met the dumbest person in the entire world.  When I later learned that multiple people believe this, I felt disoriented, like the world as I knew and loved it was gone forever, the way that Baby Boomers must have felt when JFK died.


I was 12 and at the Grand Canyon on a nature hike. The ranger asked how old the earth was, and a kid probably around 13 said "6000 years"

I laughed and called him stupid and my mom took me aside and said "some people think that god created the world 6k yrs ago". I told her that belief was stupid. She, a devout catholic said: "I know it is, but you don't call them stupid to their face"
 
2013-05-04 07:53:33 AM

IlGreven: Doc Daneeka: Just let the South secede already.

...why punish the few smart people for the sins of the stupid?


How else do you explain every regulation we currently endure?
 
2013-05-04 07:54:20 AM

Publikwerks: Hack Patooey: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

Ok, I'll bite, I havent had enough coffee this morning.

The problem with your last sentence is that this isnt education, its indoctrination. Theyre not learning anything of value in a modern society.

To be fair, this isn't christian. They are stretching the bible to fit the scientific facts. Just like the assholes who stretch jihad to mean terrorism, but at least these guys arn't being violent.


That's about the only difference in my opinion.
 
2013-05-04 07:54:21 AM

Notabunny: fta It seems that since the last presidential election, atheists have grown more confident about having something of a license to go after Christians.

Thanks, Obama


i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-04 07:54:21 AM

Lady Indica: Does anyone know the actual average size of dinosaurs (and/or where I can find that info)? I gave it a go when I first saw this shiat, but I had no luck in finding an 'average' size.

Plus, it doesn't even say which era, so if it's 'dinosaurs over all time' are we counting chickens or what?


In any habitat, in any age, small creatures vastly outnumber large ones; we see way more mice than elephants.  This was true of dinosaurs as well.  Velociraptor was the size of a turkey (and had feathers), Jurassic Park notwithstanding.
 
2013-05-04 07:55:18 AM
Hack Patooey: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

Dude, who the farkity fark cares if their kid uses profanity, that can certainly be dealt with by you in your home if you maintain any farking discipline. That's a fark of a lot easier than shoring up your child's deficient education. And it's a fark of lot easier than the goddamned nightmares of hell, and fears, and superstitions she's learning.

Seriously where is your brain? And if it's really just 'bad influences' you're concerned about and not the 'f-bomb', then move to a better district. Better that then what you're doing, and you'd save money to boot.
 
2013-05-04 07:55:28 AM

Nappy Imus: LordJiro: AverageAmericanGuy: AdrienVeidt: So, if God is perfect and so is His Creation, why would He choose to kill them off? Did He not tell Noah to make the ark big enough, or not allow enough time? Or were they the misceginated offspring of angels farking lizards, or whatever?

And I still don't understand why faith is valuable to Him.

The ark was big enough for the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were only the size of sheep.

When they landed on Mt. Ararat, the problem was that the soaked ground had lost much of the vegetation that would have kept these reptiles alive. As a result, most of the dinosaur species went extinct soon after the Flood water subsided.

We still have some left, such as the gila monster, Komodo dragon, and crocodiles. But the vast majority of dinosaurs died in the Flood aftermath.

I can only assume you're trolling at this point. Otherwise, you fail at anything remotely resembling science so hard that I'm surprised your skull doesn't implode.

Why do you consider funny sarcasm trolling? Unless the standards for trolling have severely declined. . .


The JOKE is that this is what creationists actually believe.  He's not "making this up" he's just repeating it.

I mean he's also pretending to be a believer and all that, but one of the explanations for dinosaurs by creationists (when they aren't explaining "de debil did it!") is that after the flood plants were dead and/or the atmosphere was wrong so they either died off or were hunted to extinction as "dragons" by humans.

Well, there are even more "theories" than that, but when the Modus Operandi is "make shiat up, declare it true, demand others DISprove it" you get a lot of scatter.
 
2013-05-04 07:56:26 AM
I went to Christian university and took biology.
First class
Prof "We will study evolution as fact, we will not be discussing religion. If you have a problem with this, drop the class, change your major, or learn that sometimes in life you have to learn to be quiet and push on".

Had an equally awesome human sexuality prof.
Girl gets offended by discussion of anal sex.
Prof "What do you want to be after graduation"
Girl "Christian Marriage Counselor"
Prof "So you think Christians don't have anal sex, maybe they don't have abuse within the relationship either? What do you plan to do, teach these new couples they actually have to have sex with eachother to make babies? What happens when reality strikes and you have a one on one with a woman who claims that her husband will either beat her or cheap on her unless she lets him have anal sex? You are a little girl and you either need to grow up or pack your bags and leave college"
The girl just silently sobbed at her desk for 10minutes while we continued on.

/csb
 
2013-05-04 07:56:30 AM

hitlersbrain: Mrtraveler01: Catholic schools aren't too bad and keep the derp to a minimum. My parents were raised in the Catholic school system and they didn't turn into brainwashed zombies like the children at Blue Ridge Christian Academy did.

I guess my advice is make sure it's a Catholic school before going any further.

My parents made me take christian studies at a catholic school in Buffalo, NY and they went out of their way to separate religion and science. Science was this world and religion was for moral decisions and the afterlife. Apparently this is not the norm everywhere today. I would have to call this child abuse.


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-04 07:57:54 AM

ScaryBottles: hitlersbrain: Mrtraveler01: Catholic schools aren't too bad and keep the derp to a minimum. My parents were raised in the Catholic school system and they didn't turn into brainwashed zombies like the children at Blue Ridge Christian Academy did.

I guess my advice is make sure it's a Catholic school before going any further.

My parents made me take christian studies at a catholic school in Buffalo, NY and they went out of their way to separate religion and science. Science was this world and religion was for moral decisions and the afterlife. Apparently this is not the norm everywhere today. I would have to call this child abuse.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 400x300]


Sorry wrong guy.
 
2013-05-04 08:00:11 AM
Chinese kids are learning calculus.  Its been nice being a superpower.
 
2013-05-04 08:00:32 AM

Roest: randomjsa: Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well. The internet hate machine is in full effect and they need to knock it off. You are doing nobody any favors by giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test.

No! They need to be hated, they need to ridiculed and laughed out of town. Their life needs to be made miserable. How can stupidity of that magnitude be allowed to continue to exist? Teaching BS like that to children is a criminal offense to me and probably every other human being with an IQ above that of sliced bread.


It was meant for this jerk
 
2013-05-04 08:01:34 AM
This is child abuse, pure and simple.
 
2013-05-04 08:02:21 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Dog Welder: when you teach the children YE creationism and then teach them "what to say" on an actual science test to get the right answers on evolution, you are then teaching children to lie.  I'm pretty sure an angel loses its wings when you do that.  Way to go, Christians.

Lighten up, Francis. There's no such thing as angels.


Ask the 2002 Giants about that.
 
2013-05-04 08:02:36 AM

blackartemis: I went to Christian university and took biology.
First class
Prof "We will study evolution as fact, we will not be discussing religion. If you have a problem with this, drop the class, change your major, or learn that sometimes in life you have to learn to be quiet and push on".

Had an equally awesome human sexuality prof.
Girl gets offended by discussion of anal sex.
Prof "What do you want to be after graduation"
Girl "Christian Marriage Counselor"
Prof "So you think Christians don't have anal sex, maybe they don't have abuse within the relationship either? What do you plan to do, teach these new couples they actually have to have sex with eachother to make babies? What happens when reality strikes and you have a one on one with a woman who claims that her husband will either beat her or cheap on her unless she lets him have anal sex? You are a little girl and you either need to grow up or pack your bags and leave college"
The girl just silently sobbed at her desk for 10minutes while we continued on.

/csb


Rather silly that a marriage councilor would have a religious qualifier.
 
2013-05-04 08:02:49 AM

baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.


I'm sorry that you are so terrified of words that you feel the need to lie to and mentally stunt the development of your own child.
 
2013-05-04 08:03:29 AM

TheBigJerk: Nappy Imus: LordJiro: AverageAmericanGuy: AdrienVeidt: So, if God is perfect and so is His Creation, why would He choose to kill them off? Did He not tell Noah to make the ark big enough, or not allow enough time? Or were they the misceginated offspring of angels farking lizards, or whatever?

And I still don't understand why faith is valuable to Him.

The ark was big enough for the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were only the size of sheep.

When they landed on Mt. Ararat, the problem was that the soaked ground had lost much of the vegetation that would have kept these reptiles alive. As a result, most of the dinosaur species went extinct soon after the Flood water subsided.

We still have some left, such as the gila monster, Komodo dragon, and crocodiles. But the vast majority of dinosaurs died in the Flood aftermath.

I can only assume you're trolling at this point. Otherwise, you fail at anything remotely resembling science so hard that I'm surprised your skull doesn't implode.

Why do you consider funny sarcasm trolling? Unless the standards for trolling have severely declined. . .

The JOKE is that this is what creationists actually believe.  He's not "making this up" he's just repeating it.

I mean he's also pretending to be a believer and all that, but one of the explanations for dinosaurs by creationists (when they aren't explaining "de debil did it!") is that after the flood plants were dead and/or the atmosphere was wrong so they either died off or were hunted to extinction as "dragons" by humans.

Well, there are even more "theories" than that, but when the Modus Operandi is "make shiat up, declare it true, demand others DISprove it" you get a lot of scatter.


Yeah, and its still funny sarcasm, the way he said it. Well at least that's the way I read it. We all agree that Christians, for the most part, are stupid, but funny, shiats :D Glad they're not dangerous anymore (looks around with a nervous smile).
 
2013-05-04 08:03:51 AM

Hack Patooey: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

Ok, I'll bite, I havent had enough coffee this morning.

The problem with your last sentence is that this isnt education, its indoctrination. Theyre not learning anything of value in a modern society.


Having gone to private religious schools of various denominations up until college, I can safely say that most of them aren't nearly as over the top as the one in the article. I was taught in regular gen ed classes with one class set aside for religion. Hell they even covered evolution in science. Aside from having to attend a service (that the whole school went to during a school day), I never felt beat over the head by it whatsoever. Most of them aren't Jonestown.
 
2013-05-04 08:07:06 AM

Nappy Imus: Bubbacus: Since evolution is a fact, we only have to wait for the fundamentalists to winnow themselves from the gene pool.

Last I heard, evolution was still a theory. A good theory mind you, but a theory nonetheless :D


There you go with your secularist anti-God religion again.
 
2013-05-04 08:07:40 AM

Alphax: blackartemis: I went to Christian university and took biology.
First class
Prof "We will study evolution as fact, we will not be discussing religion. If you have a problem with this, drop the class, change your major, or learn that sometimes in life you have to learn to be quiet and push on".

Had an equally awesome human sexuality prof.
Girl gets offended by discussion of anal sex.
Prof "What do you want to be after graduation"
Girl "Christian Marriage Counselor"
Prof "So you think Christians don't have anal sex, maybe they don't have abuse within the relationship either? What do you plan to do, teach these new couples they actually have to have sex with eachother to make babies? What happens when reality strikes and you have a one on one with a woman who claims that her husband will either beat her or cheap on her unless she lets him have anal sex? You are a little girl and you either need to grow up or pack your bags and leave college"
The girl just silently sobbed at her desk for 10minutes while we continued on.

/csb

Rather silly that a marriage councilor would have a religious qualifier.


Oh, you have to understand, people like this girl didn't want to deal with non-Christians. Many discussions came up about how they could never see themselves marrying anyone of a different religion. My half Jewish half Christian household was weird for them.
I made a lot of good, and sane, friends there. Received a good education, but it was a huge step for me on why way to accepting a Buddhist philosophy.
 
2013-05-04 08:08:56 AM

baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.


So, like with Santa Claus, you're just gonna let her find out in her own time?
 
2013-05-04 08:09:02 AM

MrBallou: Nappy Imus: Bubbacus: Since evolution is a fact, we only have to wait for the fundamentalists to winnow themselves from the gene pool.

Last I heard, evolution was still a theory. A good theory mind you, but a theory nonetheless :D

There you go with your secularist anti-God religion again.


Oh noes you have discovered my god-killing agnostic agenda! Curses! ~Shakes fist in air~
 
2013-05-04 08:11:37 AM
Oh, off topic, but if you had the chance to actually kill (or try to kill) a god, would you take it? Steal his/her/its golden blood and drink it and become a god, or something :D I mean, if you had just one shot at meeting god, would you bow, or would you get all stabby? Well anyway, feel free to stay on topic :D
 
2013-05-04 08:14:42 AM

Nappy Imus: Oh, off topic, but if you had the chance to actually kill (or try to kill) a god, would you take it? Steal his/her/its golden blood and drink it and become a god, or something :D I mean, if you had just one shot at meeting god, would you bow, or would you get all stabby? Well anyway, feel free to stay on topic :D


I'd use my omnipotent powers to make myself deaf to the billions of people calling out my name all the time.  Then I'd while away my hours cutting funding on infrastructure and making volcanoes erupt while the northern lights played overhead.
 
2013-05-04 08:14:43 AM

planes: [www.global-air.com image 150x195]

Most of us had parents who taught us to accept their religious beliefs as undeniable fact. But, do we have a right or obligation to ourselves to question a few things? (new window)


I love that link. So much hypocrisy in one small, easy to read page.
 
2013-05-04 08:15:58 AM

AdrienVeidt: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

In all flat-out honesty: you're a terrible parent. You choose to fill your child's head with lies because it's convenient for you. You are *exactly* what's wrong with our declining society.


Yes, he is truly history's greatest monster.  How dare ANYONE raise a polite, happy 5 year-old.
 
2013-05-04 08:20:39 AM

Nappy Imus: Oh, off topic, but if you had the chance to actually kill (or try to kill) a god, would you take it? Steal his/her/its golden blood and drink it and become a god, or something :D I mean, if you had just one shot at meeting god, would you bow, or would you get all stabby? Well anyway, feel free to stay on topic :D


there's only 1 god moran.
 
2013-05-04 08:21:55 AM

Bubbacus: Since evolution is a fact, we only have to wait for the fundamentalists to winnow themselves from the gene pool.


I always found the fact that the people who DON'T believe we descended from animals ACT the most like animals.

1. Consume everything in the environment as fast as you can. (no regulation)
2. Obey the powerful without question. (voluntary libertarian corporate slavery)
3. Breed like crazy without any planning. (no abortions or contraceptives)
4. Always follow the first knee jerk reaction that pops into your tiny head, no matter how stupid it is. (rush is right)
 
2013-05-04 08:23:12 AM

Cataholic: AdrienVeidt: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

In all flat-out honesty: you're a terrible parent. You choose to fill your child's head with lies because it's convenient for you. You are *exactly* what's wrong with our declining society.

Yes, he is truly history's greatest monster.  How dare ANYONE raise a polite, happy 5 year-old.


Eat all the dicks in the universe, disingenuous asshole.
 
2013-05-04 08:24:32 AM

BarkingUnicorn: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

So, like with Santa Claus, you're just gonna let her find out in her own time?


Problem is most of them never do but hey f bombs are icky.
 
2013-05-04 08:28:02 AM

Nappy Imus: Bubbacus: Since evolution is a fact, we only have to wait for the fundamentalists to winnow themselves from the gene pool.

Last I heard, evolution was still a theory. A good theory mind you, but a theory nonetheless :D


Please learn what the word "theory" means. Thank you.
 
2013-05-04 08:28:14 AM

Nappy Imus: Oh, off topic, but if you had the chance to actually kill (or try to kill) a god, would you take it? Steal his/her/its golden blood and drink it and become a god, or something :D I mean, if you had just one shot at meeting god, would you bow, or would you get all stabby? Well anyway, feel free to stay on topic :D


If I met God, as in the God mentioned in the bible with no preptime?  I'd bow.   Because the guy isn't a dick or a douche... he's an omnipotent psychotic with a sadistic streak the size of the multi-verse.

Now if I had my "+1 Hammer of God slaying" I'd take my swing at him sure; for the greater good at the very least but just *poof* meet God... nope.
 
2013-05-04 08:29:26 AM

Nappy Imus: Last I heard, evolution was still a theory. A good theory mind you, but a theory nonetheless :D


Actually evolution is a process, thus a fact. How it happens aka the theory of evolution, is the theory.
 
2013-05-04 08:30:58 AM

Milo Minderbinder: Chinese kids are learning calculus.  Its been nice being a superpower.


I taught myself calculus in the ninth grade.  Only because I was bored with Algebra II and I had already went through a trigonometry book.
 
2013-05-04 08:33:55 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-04 08:37:28 AM

AdrienVeidt: Cataholic: AdrienVeidt: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

In all flat-out honesty: you're a terrible parent. You choose to fill your child's head with lies because it's convenient for you. You are *exactly* what's wrong with our declining society.

Yes, he is truly history's greatest monster.  How dare ANYONE raise a polite, happy 5 year-old.

Eat all the dicks in the universe, disingenuous asshole.


Cataholic: AdrienVeidt: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

In all flat-out honesty: you're a terrible parent. You choose to fill your child's head with lies because it's convenient for you. You are *exactly* what's wrong with our declining society.

Yes, he is truly history's greatest monster.  How dare ANYONE raise a polite, happy 5 year-old.


No but he is a lousy parent. Sorry guy but I will cut religious nutters a bit of slack because they actually believe that they are doing whats best for their kids.This guy by his own admission knows its bullshiat and potentially harmful but he doesn't want to be embarrassed by his kid having a potty mouth so its off to the indoctrination center. Not only that he insincerely attends church to make all the more credible for his precious little darling. So in summation he is a liar and a hypocrite. He knows the education is inferior, he knows his kid is being taught passive aggressive bigotry and he knows it's all a put up job and still he goes along. So take your high horse and blow it.
 
2013-05-04 08:39:09 AM
Wow I really need to get some sleep.
 
2013-05-04 08:39:59 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-04 08:40:20 AM

baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.


Or how about just acting like a responsible parent and explain to your kid that we don't use words like that, and that if she does use bad language there will be consequences? Then follow through on it. Or would that take too much effort on your part?
 
2013-05-04 08:40:53 AM
I think the most disturbing question on that test was the one that said, "what do you tell someone who says the Earth is millions of years old?"  "Were you there?"

If this is true - which I somewhat doubt - They are not only teaching BS, but they are literally telling the kids to not question the BS.

Someday, every last one of these kids is going to learn the truth of matters, and probably go on a shooting spree.  You know...  Unless we regulate guns in a better fashion.
 
2013-05-04 08:43:17 AM

RatMaster999: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Math: Given a path 100 feet wide, 100 feet deep long, and 17 miles across, how many cubic cubits of water did Moses dump on Pharoah when he unparted the Red Sea?

/show your work

Let's see...assuming a standard mile of 5280 feet and a standard cubit of 18 inches...
 

17 miles = 1077120 inches
100 ft = 1200 inches

12002 = 1440000 square inches

1077120 * 1200 = 1292544000 square inches

1292544000 / 18 = 71808000 square cubits

1440000 / 18 = 80000 square cubits

1292544000 *  80000  = 103,403,520,000,000 cubic cubits.

I think...I was an English major.


Now, convert your answer to metric assloads.
 
2013-05-04 08:44:48 AM
Were you there?

Well were you?

Probably not.  I was not either.

I am willing to show you what was there.  Let me introduce you to some rocks, fossils, and DNA.
 
2013-05-04 08:45:11 AM

MagSeven: Having gone to private religious schools of various denominations up until college, I can safely say that most of them aren't nearly as over the top as the one in the article.


Understand, though, that for people coming from a different background (more liberal neighbourhoods, other developed countries) the number of christian fundies in the US and their influence is mind-boggling. The fact that "most" religious schools are not as over the top as this one may be reassuring to you, but to others it is astonishing that creationism is even an issue.
 
2013-05-04 08:55:34 AM

ScaryBottles: BarkingUnicorn: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

So, like with Santa Claus, you're just gonna let her find out in her own time?

Problem is most of them never do but hey f bombs are icky.


I think if it's not reinforced at home, a kid is very likely to outgrow Christian fantasy and retain the worthwhile morality.
 
2013-05-04 08:57:27 AM

baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental minority neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income white neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

 
2013-05-04 08:57:55 AM

BarkingUnicorn: ScaryBottles: BarkingUnicorn: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

So, like with Santa Claus, you're just gonna let her find out in her own time?

Problem is most of them never do but hey f bombs are icky.

I think if it's not reinforced at home, a kid is very likely to outgrow Christian fantasy and retain the worthwhile morality.


Also, an understanding of Christian theology is necessary to understand the underpinnings of Western culture. Childrens Bible stories like Noah's ark, Adam and Eve, and the death and resurrection of Jesus are all important concepts to have a strong grasp on.
 
2013-05-04 08:59:23 AM

ScaryBottles: I swear to christ we're like 10 generations tops from herding these morons for food.


How Eloitist of you. ;)
 
2013-05-04 09:02:08 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Lee Jackson Beauregard: randomjsa (farkied: "Holy fnck you're an idiot." - Nina_Hartley's_Ass): Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well.

Yeah, the noive of some people, insisting that a science class should teach actual science.

It would be fine if the criticism stopped there.  But it goes far beyond that, as this thread demonstrates.


Oh, clutch your farking pearls.
 
2013-05-04 09:02:15 AM

ongbok: Alphax: Put me down as someone who thought that test was satire.

This sort of miseducation is criminal.

Now maybe people will start believing that the Right are intentionally trying to keep people stupid.


My personal favorite is the last question on the second page of the test:

Q: What can you say when someone tells you Earth is billions of years old?

A: were you there


They are training them to mindlessly parrot moronic talking points in early childhood! How can anyone claim conservative leaders are not intentionally trying to keep people stupid?
 
2013-05-04 09:07:39 AM

MagSeven: Hack Patooey: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

Ok, I'll bite, I havent had enough coffee this morning.

The problem with your last sentence is that this isnt education, its indoctrination. Theyre not learning anything of value in a modern society.

Having gone to private religious schools of various denominations up until college, I can safely say that most of them aren't nearly as over the top as the one in the article. I was taught in regular gen ed classes with one class set aside for religion. Hell they even covered evolution in science. Aside from having to attend a service (that the whole school went to during a school day), I never felt beat over the head by it whatsoever. Most of them aren't Jonestown.


I just want my kid to be happy.  they aren't Moonies.  I grew up with the Lord's prayer and bible reading each morning in public school.  Winnipeg, Canada, btw.
 
2013-05-04 09:08:19 AM
question 1:  is carbon testing real?
question 2:  then what about dinosaurs?
 
2013-05-04 09:08:36 AM

AdrienVeidt: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

In all flat-out honesty: you're a terrible parent. You choose to fill your child's head with lies because it's convenient for you. You are *exactly* what's wrong with our declining society.


Exactly, there's no reason to sugar coat this nonsense.
 
2013-05-04 09:11:01 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: Nappy Imus: Oh, off topic, but if you had the chance to actually kill (or try to kill) a god, would you take it? Steal his/her/its golden blood and drink it and become a god, or something :D I mean, if you had just one shot at meeting god, would you bow, or would you get all stabby? Well anyway, feel free to stay on topic :D

there's only 1 god moran.


Maybe, but he suffers from multiple personality disorder.
 
2013-05-04 09:12:58 AM

baddogg: MagSeven: Hack Patooey: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

Ok, I'll bite, I havent had enough coffee this morning.

The problem with your last sentence is that this isnt education, its indoctrination. Theyre not learning anything of value in a modern society.

Having gone to private religious schools of various denominations up until college, I can safely say that most of them aren't nearly as over the top as the one in the article. I was taught in regular gen ed classes with one class set aside for religion. Hell they even covered evolution in science. Aside from having to attend a service (that the whole school went to during a school day), I never felt beat over the head by it whatsoever. Most of them aren't Jonestown.

I just want my kid to be happy.  they aren't Moonies.  I grew up with the Lord's prayer and bible reading each morning in public school.  Winnipeg, Canada, btw.


I hear ya. And btw, sending your kid to a religious school isn't going to keep him from cursing. We cursed like sailors when the teachers/parents weren't around. If anything, hopefully they'll be getting more hands on interactions with teachers due to the smaller class sizes.
 
2013-05-04 09:13:16 AM

baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.


I've got bad news for you.

My parents enrolled me in a religiously sponsored Boy Scout troop so I could learn "values" that I wasn't learning in school. Here is some of what I picked up instead::

1) How to cuss. Really, I already know that when I joined. But I did pick up a few new words.
2) How to smoke.
3) I had the opportunity to learn to chew tobacco. I even tried it once, but it was so disgusting I stopped immediately.
4) How to sexually objectify women.
5) I knew how to masturbate when I joined, but I did pick up a fair amount of pornography, and a few masturbation tips.
6) How to stuff ballot boxes in troop elections to ensure victory for my preferred candidates.
7) How to manipulate younger scouts into doing what I wanted.

I'm told my experience isn't uncommon. I'd hazard your precious snowflake is picking up some "moderate Christian values" you haven't heard about yet too.
 
2013-05-04 09:16:10 AM
I just really think it's funny your snowflake couldn't have picked up swear words in kindergarten anywhere.
 
2013-05-04 09:16:49 AM
bugontherug: I just really think it's funny you think your snowflake couldn't have picked up swear words in kindergarten anywhere.
 
2013-05-04 09:17:45 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: question 1:  is carbon testing real?
question 2:  then what about dinosaurs?


A1: Radiocarbon dating is quite real.
A2: Radiocarbon dating is irrelevant for dating non-avian dinosaurs as the technique is only for recent events.
 
2013-05-04 09:22:40 AM

Uncle Tractor: AdrienVeidt: And why is Al that 'begat' stuff so important while everything between Jesus' birth and age 30 irrelevant?

Have you read any of the infancy gospels? IMO they were to embarrassed to include that stuff in the bible.


Actually, I have and they're the best part (or would have been) the best part of the New Testament.

A couple of stories I remember:

Infant Jesus making clay birds and then animating them and they fly away.

Jesus and a friend playing on a roof and - I can't remember the details - but one kid falls off and dies and the whole town turns against Jesus until he reanimates the dead kid.

Great stuff! Classic origin stories.
 
2013-05-04 09:22:52 AM
Who has time to be worried about foreign religious extremists when we've got local christian extremists who are doing more damage?  They're already here, they've already got positions of power, and they have no problems sacrificing the ability of our future generations to compete effectively in the global workforce just for the sake of racking up Jesus points.
 
2013-05-04 09:23:10 AM
Christ!
We just have to stop letting these idiots call this chit religion.

Y'all are all up in there about your shooting irons, but allowing idiots to do this to their kids is just fine with you?
In the name of some cockamamie "religion"?
 
2013-05-04 09:23:56 AM

mutterfark: Jon iz teh kewl: Nappy Imus: Oh, off topic, but if you had the chance to actually kill (or try to kill) a god, would you take it? Steal his/her/its golden blood and drink it and become a god, or something :D I mean, if you had just one shot at meeting god, would you bow, or would you get all stabby? Well anyway, feel free to stay on topic :D

there's only 1 god moran.

Maybe, but he suffers from multiple personality disorder.


images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-04 09:25:02 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Math: Given a path 100 feet wide, 100 feet deep long, and 17 miles across, how many cubic cubits of water did Moses dump on Pharoah when he unparted the Red Sea?

/show your work


Actually that didn't happen. Because of the Thou Shall not Kill clause they were gently floated back to the other side.  They regretted what they had done and bowed to the glory of God.

True Story.

Amen.
 
2013-05-04 09:27:10 AM
It makes me scared of what places like this would teach for history.

I remember talking to someone once, a few years ago, who had what I could only call a hideously skewed version of the history of the Christian church.  I don't mean theology, I mean actual documented history.

He apparently had been taught that Catholicism was a completely unrelated religion to "Christianity", and was actually a devil-worshipping cult that had arisen in the medeival era to oppress "Christianity" in it's original form (which upon further discussion apparently meant Evangelical Protestantism).

This arose when I was at work, and while chatting with somebody, the discussion turned to theology.  At the time I was taking a Comparative Theology class at a public university, and found the subject fascinating.  I knew my co-worker was a somewhat devout Christian.  I mentioned Catholicism as a form of Christianity, which he took grave offense to and got very angry at the mention of.

He apparently thought modern Evangelical Protestant Christianity is the unaltered, original form of Christianity, practiced EXACTLY like it was from just after the crucifixion to the present day, but had been oppressed by Catholicism (which he considered to be some kind of ancient demon-worshipping cult that rose to power in the middle ages due to demon-w) from the medieval era until "Christians" fled to the Americas to be free from Catholic oppression and be able to found a Christian nation like God intended.

He had no idea that Christianity was the state religion of the Roman Empire, of the Great Schism, of the Protestant Reformation.  He had no idea of motives for the colonization of the Americas (and the American Revolution) beyond "Christians" wanting to be free of Catholic oppression so they could found a "Christian Nation".

I quickly realized that any setting straight of the record was NOT going to happen.  Just denying what he was saying was enough to make him angry almost to the point of workplace violence.  He "knew" it as absolute fact that this was true and no history books were going to prove him wrong.

In retrospect, it makes me wonder if he got his history education from a private "school" like this.
 
2013-05-04 09:27:26 AM
Christian Taliban

Oh Mr Taliban, tally my dinosaurs
Daylight come and I wanna go home
Lift six foot, seven foot, eight foot of derp
 
2013-05-04 09:27:56 AM

Doc Daneeka: Besides, it'd probably only be temporary. The South would be a bankrupt, failed state within 10 years. We'd be free to step back in and pick up the pieces if we wanted.within


Years ago I read a book entitled, "What if the South had won the Civil War?" and, yeah, this was the hypothesis, too. It took more than 10 years though... but eventually they couldn't make it on their own.
 
2013-05-04 09:28:19 AM

Candy Colored Clown: BarkingUnicorn: Lee Jackson Beauregard: randomjsa (farkied: "Holy fnck you're an idiot." - Nina_Hartley's_Ass): Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well.

Yeah, the noive of some people, insisting that a science class should teach actual science.

It would be fine if the criticism stopped there.  But it goes far beyond that, as this thread demonstrates.

Oh, clutch your farking pearls.


The problem is not sensibilities.  When you stray from your point to attack the person, you lose any hope of convincing him.
 
2013-05-04 09:29:03 AM

Silverstaff: It makes me scared of what places like this would teach for history.

I remember talking to someone once, a few years ago, who had what I could only call a hideously skewed version of the history of the Christian church.  I don't mean theology, I mean actual documented history.

He apparently had been taught that Catholicism was a completely unrelated religion to "Christianity", and was actually a devil-worshipping cult that had arisen in the medeival era to oppress "Christianity" in it's original form (which upon further discussion apparently meant Evangelical Protestantism).

This arose when I was at work, and while chatting with somebody, the discussion turned to theology.  At the time I was taking a Comparative Theology class at a public university, and found the subject fascinating.  I knew my co-worker was a somewhat devout Christian.  I mentioned Catholicism as a form of Christianity, which he took grave offense to and got very angry at the mention of.

He apparently thought modern Evangelical Protestant Christianity is the unaltered, original form of Christianity, practiced EXACTLY like it was from just after the crucifixion to the present day, but had been oppressed by Catholicism (which he considered to be some kind of ancient demon-worshipping cult that rose to power in the middle ages due to demon-w) from the medieval era until "Christians" fled to the Americas to be free from Catholic oppression and be able to found a Christian nation like God intended.

He had no idea that Christianity was the state religion of the Roman Empire, of the Great Schism, of the Protestant Reformation.  He had no idea of motives for the colonization of the Americas (and the American Revolution) beyond "Christians" wanting to be free of Catholic oppression so they could found a "Christian Nation".

I quickly realized that any setting straight of the record was NOT going to happen.  Just denying what he was saying was enough to make him angry almost to the point of workplace v ...


The true joy is watching these fools encounter the Real World.
They are not yet aware they were taught lies.
So fun!
 
2013-05-04 09:29:47 AM
Sure, she know how to swear, not around me.  What wrong with backing up a few decades and providing a education similar to mine.  Forget the religion, it's relatively minor.  Scores are way higher than the students she could have been with (higher), get it?  There are 13 year olds selling themselves 3 blocks from here.
 
2013-05-04 09:29:49 AM

zetar: Uncle Tractor: AdrienVeidt: And why is Al that 'begat' stuff so important while everything between Jesus' birth and age 30 irrelevant?

Have you read any of the infancy gospels? IMO they were to embarrassed to include that stuff in the bible.

Actually, I have and they're the best part (or would have been) the best part of the New Testament.

A couple of stories I remember:

Infant Jesus making clay birds and then animating them and they fly away.

Jesus and a friend playing on a roof and - I can't remember the details - but one kid falls off and dies and the whole town turns against Jesus until he reanimates the dead kid.

Great stuff! Classic origin stories.


I think there was one in which a kid teased Jesus and got a withered arm for his trouble.
 
2013-05-04 09:29:53 AM

zetar: Uncle Tractor: AdrienVeidt: And why is Al that 'begat' stuff so important while everything between Jesus' birth and age 30 irrelevant?

Have you read any of the infancy gospels? IMO they were to embarrassed to include that stuff in the bible.

Actually, I have and they're the best part (or would have been) the best part of the New Testament.

A couple of stories I remember:

Infant Jesus making clay birds and then animating them and they fly away.

Jesus and a friend playing on a roof and - I can't remember the details - but one kid falls off and dies and the whole town turns against Jesus until he reanimates the dead kid.

Great stuff! Classic origin stories.


I like the one where he went for ride in the car with the man with the big yellow hat.
 
2013-05-04 09:36:12 AM
"Were you there?"

No, but you weren't there for Jesus, so I guess we're even, right?
 
2013-05-04 09:36:34 AM

Cataholic: AdrienVeidt: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

In all flat-out honesty: you're a terrible parent. You choose to fill your child's head with lies because it's convenient for you. You are *exactly* what's wrong with our declining society.

Yes, he is truly history's greatest monster.  How dare ANYONE raise a polite, happy 5 year-old.


Newsflash: That child would have picked up the F-bomb in ANY school. Not just the "poor" neighborhoods. That's kinda how children work. The RIGHT way to deal with that is to tell your child that the word is impolite, and people take offense to it. The WRONG way to deal with that is to send your child to a school that does the exact OPPOSITE of education, in the vain hope that no other child in that school heard what Daddy said when he whacked his thumb with the hammer.
 
2013-05-04 09:40:55 AM

BarkingUnicorn: zetar: Uncle Tractor: AdrienVeidt: And why is Al that 'begat' stuff so important while everything between Jesus' birth and age 30 irrelevant?

Have you read any of the infancy gospels? IMO they were to embarrassed to include that stuff in the bible.

Actually, I have and they're the best part (or would have been) the best part of the New Testament.

A couple of stories I remember:

Infant Jesus making clay birds and then animating them and they fly away.

Jesus and a friend playing on a roof and - I can't remember the details - but one kid falls off and dies and the whole town turns against Jesus until he reanimates the dead kid.

Great stuff! Classic origin stories.

I think there was one in which a kid teased Jesus and got a withered arm for his trouble.


Yeah! I remember that one, now, thanks. Classic. Kid with superpowers, having trouble controlling them. Great stuff!
 
2013-05-04 09:46:41 AM

Vaneshi: I did the doughnut run whilst we were watching the T.Rex's.


Yeah I still do.... dammit, you went to Dunkin' when I specifically said Timmy Ho!
 
2013-05-04 09:47:29 AM

Nappy Imus: Oh, off topic, but if you had the chance to actually kill (or try to kill) a god, would you take it? Steal his/her/its golden blood and drink it and become a god, or something :D I mean, if you had just one shot at meeting god, would you bow, or would you get all stabby? Well anyway, feel free to stay on topic :D


Wouldn't bow.  My concept of a divine being doesn't include narcissism.

As for murder and theft...depends on the god and its excuses.  The As-Written biblical god?  He's a sadistic fark, I might take a shot for the greater good.
 
2013-05-04 09:49:15 AM

maddogdelta: Vaneshi: I did the doughnut run whilst we were watching the T.Rex's.

Yeah I still do.... dammit, you went to Dunkin' when I specifically said Timmy Ho!


Buyers choice, next time you drive! :D
 
2013-05-04 09:56:02 AM

Vaneshi: Buyers choice, next time you drive! :D


doh! You got me there... :)
 
2013-05-04 10:02:20 AM
static6.businessinsider.com

Teaching creationism, America?  Keep it up!
 
2013-05-04 10:07:52 AM

Mentat: Jesus Christ, what an asshole


FTFY.
 
2013-05-04 10:12:25 AM

IronButterfly: I regret I have but one face to palm for my country :(


You win qotd
 
2013-05-04 10:14:14 AM

ongbok: Now maybe people will start believing that the Right are intentionally trying to keep people stupid.


I honestly don't think that's happening on any large scale. It's not like right-wingers like the Koch Bros, the Bachmann-Gingrich wing of the GOP or others ever sat down to say, "Yeah, yeah...that it! We'll keep the sheeple purposely ignorant so we can take advantage of them!"

No, I'm convinced this is self-induced by millions of people who see themselves and their world view under assault by outsiders who look, think and believe differently to them. They also feel victimized by the condescending attitudes of these outsiders (even if they live next door), so crawl into a psychological bubble where they construct exaggerated and common sense defying logic traps for themselves (Jesus rode a dinosaur you idiot, not a donkey!).

And then they hammer it into their children in what passes for a science education as required by law. Out here in California some years ago there was a lawsuit by fundies to force the University of California system to accept religious school grads whose science education had been shaped by the errant nonsense we see in TFA. UC successfully argued that religious indoctrination cloaked as science was a sham, and the courts agreed that while students were free to believe whatever stories they wanted to, if they wanted to get into the public university system they needed to know basic science, mathematics and language (and a foreign language).

There are no 'alternate science classes' that get fundies into university out here without knowing the basics, unlike the wink and nudge given in some other places, and as a result our religious schools have largely dropped the bible-based bullshiat one sees in this example. That doesn't mean they've embraced rationalism, of course, but at least our religious are not totally ignorant of the real world.
 
2013-05-04 10:21:58 AM

Notabunny: fta It seems that since the last presidential election, atheists have grown more confident about having something of a license to go after Christians.

Thanks, Obama


What's the bag limit on Christians this year, anyway?
 
2013-05-04 10:22:05 AM
This isn't about science fact -- this is about culture.

Day to day, how often does it really factor into your thinking whether or not dinosaurs existed and the true age of the earth?  Does it really matter if your ophthalmologist or mechanic or pc technician has a thorough understanding of modern scientific theory about the fossil record?

If this were some tribe out in the amazon describing their creation myth we would collectively clap our hands together and fret on how to preserve a dying culture.   But because these people look like us we have to shove cosmology and evolutionary theory down their throats.

We think its derp.  They take comfort and find a source of salvation.   As long as creationists act well professionally and socially then why does it really matter?
 
2013-05-04 10:23:50 AM

baddogg: There are 13 year olds selling themselves 3 blocks from here.


In Winnipeg?

I think Poe is in effect here.
 
2013-05-04 10:25:40 AM

LordJiro: Newsflash: That child would have picked up the F-bomb in ANY school. Not just the "poor" neighborhoods


That seems like common sense, but I don't think it's actually true.  I didn't hear any foul language at my middle class public school until fifth or sixth grade.

Regardless, the guy who originally posted about this clearly had more problems with the local public school than just the fact that his kid picked up a few bad words.  That's just an example of what he didn't like.

I can sympathize, anyway, though.  Cleaning religion out of a kid's head is much easier than helping a kid get over a fixation with bad words, and there are quite a few parents who don't want to spend a decade or more listening to their brats talk like sailors.  Discipline at home can help with that, but there's only so much it can do.

Any reasonable parent can get rid of religious brainwashing about Jesus shortly after all that Santa Claus business wears off.  I'd be more worried about anti-gay propaganda seeping in, since the way it infects a mind is slightly more subtle.


It's vital to make sure that any private school to which you send your kids teaches real science and history.  Most Catholic schools are fine, and most fundamentalist schools are definitely not.  There was a fundie school near where I grew up that was so nutburgers that even my overly religious parents didn't consider sending me there.  It was one of those Jesus-riding-a-velociraptor places.

On the other hand, if I still lived in Houston, I'd strongly consider sending my kid (no longer just a hypothetical kid!) to one of the Catholic high schools, since those were known for being considerably better than anyplace else in the area.  Of course, the two I had in mind were Jesuit schools.
 
2013-05-04 10:31:27 AM

randomjsa: Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well. The internet hate machine is in full effect and they need to knock it off. You are doing nobody any favors by giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test.


If they have any recognition by the state what-so-farking-ever, and I mean to the point where their diplomas are anything more than a worthless piece of paper, then there damn well should be a fuss kicked up, because that is borderline-illegal use of state money. That's not persecution, that's having an active interest in separation of church and state...and trust me, it's as much for their defense as anyone else's.
 
2013-05-04 10:33:14 AM

hardinparamedic: So when did Jesus predict the Third Impact would come?


NOT freaking soon enough

/positive that their parents did not have them vaccinated either

//so they won't grow up liberal, gay, and be eligible for heaven
 
2013-05-04 10:34:03 AM

bonobo73: This isn't about science fact -- this is about culture.

Day to day, how often does it really factor into your thinking whether or not dinosaurs existed and the true age of the earth?  Does it really matter if your ophthalmologist or mechanic or pc technician has a thorough understanding of modern scientific theory about the fossil record?


Yes, it matters. It matters that they have critical thinking thinking skills, are able to evaluate information carefully and objectively, are able to make sound conclusions based on the evidence of their senses, and are able to test hypotheses rigorously as a part of basic problem solving.

It's not about faking dinosaurs.  It doesn't matter to an ophthalmologist whether dinosaurs existed or not, but if he honestly believes dinosaurs walked around 4000 years ago, it suggests that he lacks the basic critical thinking, reasoning, and cognitive skills to be a good ophthalmologist.
 
2013-05-04 10:34:50 AM

bonobo73: This isn't about science fact -- this is about culture.

Day to day, how often does it really factor into your thinking whether or not dinosaurs existed and the true age of the earth?  Does it really matter if your ophthalmologist or mechanic or pc technician has a thorough understanding of modern scientific theory about the fossil record?

If this were some tribe out in the amazon describing their creation myth we would collectively clap our hands together and fret on how to preserve a dying culture.   But because these people look like us we have to shove cosmology and evolutionary theory down their throats.

We think its derp.  They take comfort and find a source of salvation.   As long as creationists act well professionally and socially then why does it really matter?


It matters because they want to teach it to my kid.  Less so now than when I lived in a fundamentalist area, but it was still the case.

They will fail, but the fact that I have to waste time talking about this garbage is annoying.

It also makes us, all of us, look bad.  I received a perfectly good education, but plenty of people still have a bad first impression because I was educated somewhat near a bunch of rednecks who were not educated.  Within America, people in the South have to deal with guilt-by-association because well-meaning but short-sighted people ignore the fact that educated people exist in the South.  Outside of America, we're all in the same boat.  We're all associated with the dummies who think Jesus rode a dinosaur, and it makes us look stupid.

This, by the way, should hint at why those who say, "Well, if you don't like being associated with rednecks, don't live in the South!" are wrong for the same reason a foreigner could say, "If you don't like being associated with rednecks, don't live in the U.S."
 
2013-05-04 10:35:54 AM

Alphax: blackartemis: I went to Christian university and took biology.
First class
Prof "We will study evolution as fact, we will not be discussing religion. If you have a problem with this, drop the class, change your major, or learn that sometimes in life you have to learn to be quiet and push on".

Had an equally awesome human sexuality prof.
Girl gets offended by discussion of anal sex.
Prof "What do you want to be after graduation"
Girl "Christian Marriage Counselor"
Prof "So you think Christians don't have anal sex, maybe they don't have abuse within the relationship either? What do you plan to do, teach these new couples they actually have to have sex with eachother to make babies? What happens when reality strikes and you have a one on one with a woman who claims that her husband will either beat her or cheap on her unless she lets him have anal sex? You are a little girl and you either need to grow up or pack your bags and leave college"
The girl just silently sobbed at her desk for 10minutes while we continued on.

/csb

Rather silly that a marriage councilor would have a religious qualifier.


I'm sure the "christian" part if it will be to tell the wife "do whatever you husband says. He's the man." My wife's aunt/uncle is like this. Deep rooted Christians. Wife has a masters in psychology. Has to stay home all day and can't get a job because the husband is the one who is supposed to earn the money. And he's got a 35K a year job.
 
2013-05-04 10:36:34 AM

bonobo73: If this were some tribe out in the amazon describing their creation myth we would collectively clap our hands together and fret on how to preserve a dying culture.   But because these people look like us we have to shove cosmology and evolutionary theory down their throats.


There isn't a dying culture that needs to be saved in this case.

We think its derp.  They take comfort and find a source of salvation.   As long as creationists act well professionally and socially then why does it really matter?

Because of this:

Silverstaff: Just denying what he was saying was enough to make him angry almost to the point of workplace violence.  He "knew" it as absolute fact that this was true and no history books were going to prove him wrong.

 
2013-05-04 10:38:44 AM

Doc Daneeka: Yes, it matters. It matters that they have critical thinking thinking skills, are able to evaluate information carefully and objectively, are able to make sound conclusions based on the evidence of their senses, and are able to test hypotheses rigorously as a part of basic problem solving.


Yep, this too.  I ought to have made that point.

It matters not just because they want to cripple my kid's mind but because they want to cripple millions of kids' minds.  These kids are innocent victims.

To those of us who consider it a virtue to be somewhat aware of how the world works, it's painful to see so many people's young minds battered and bruised and ruined.

I'd be livid if someone tried to do that to my kid, so it's my moral responsibility at least to object to having the same thing done to others' kids.
 
2013-05-04 10:39:34 AM
This is why atheists (and anyone else with a lick of sense) subscribes to a separation of chuch and state in our schools.  They aren't well-meaning people who want to share their philosophical view of the world.  They are ... this.

Every gap in the wall between your churches and our schools is an opportunity for you to ruin our schools.
 
2013-05-04 10:40:53 AM

maddogdelta: Vaneshi: I did the doughnut run whilst we were watching the T.Rex's.

Yeah I still do.... dammit, you went to Dunkin' when I specifically said Timmy Ho!


Who the fark makes that mistake?
 
2013-05-04 10:44:00 AM
The stupid... it burns.
 
2013-05-04 10:45:03 AM

Captain Dan: I hadn't even heard of Young Earth creationism until I was 18.  My first encounter was through a YE creationist, who made some comment about Satan planting fossils to deceive us.  Because I didn't know that creationism was an actual thing, I laughed at his joke.

It stunned me when I was told that it wasn't a joke.  I was sure that I had just met the dumbest person in the entire world.  When I later learned that multiple people believe this, I felt disoriented, like the world as I knew and loved it was gone forever, the way that Baby Boomers must have felt when JFK died.


I was about 15. I had been aware of a few people in wider society who didn't believe in it, but not until then did I encounter multiple people in my high school - people I thought I knew well - who laughed at the very notion of evolution and mocked me for believing it. It was like being mocked for believing that 2+2=4. I was more baffled than anything.
 
2013-05-04 10:45:40 AM

bonobo73: This isn't about science fact -- this is about culture.

Day to day, how often does it really factor into your thinking whether or not dinosaurs existed and the true age of the earth?  Does it really matter if your ophthalmologist or mechanic or pc technician has a thorough understanding of modern scientific theory about the fossil record?

If this were some tribe out in the amazon describing their creation myth we would collectively clap our hands together and fret on how to preserve a dying culture.   But because these people look like us we have to shove cosmology and evolutionary theory down their throats.

We think its derp.  They take comfort and find a source of salvation.   As long as creationists act well professionally and socially then why does it really matter?


See the thing is that they don't. Almost daily there are articles posted on this site about some religious whackjob who thinks his religion trumps the law of the land gets fired or sued and then proceeds to sob to anyone who will listen that he's being oppressed. So please enough with the apologist live and let live line of shiat.
 
2013-05-04 10:51:56 AM

randomjsa: Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well. The internet hate machine is in full effect and they need to knock it off. You are doing nobody any favors by giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test.


irregardless. I hate people who correct, so I hate myself. "irregardless" is not a word! it's just "regardless"!
 
2013-05-04 10:53:46 AM
I propose that we bring back a carnivorous dinosaur for the sole purpose of hiding it in the creationist museum.
 
2013-05-04 10:53:50 AM

Stone Meadow: There are no 'alternate science classes' that get fundies into university out here without knowing the basics, unlike the wink and nudge given in some other places, and as a result our religious schools have largely dropped the bible-based bullshiat one sees in this example.


I remember that circa 2005 or so, there was a brief controversy at my alma mater when a student who had apparently been homeschooled or taught at a school such as this came to a major public university, and was screaming to the media about being oppressed and about having her religious beliefs disrespected. . .

Because in a 100-level freshman Biology course they were presenting evolution as a fact.  She was complaining to the University, and trying to make a stink in the media that the University shouldn't teach it and should teach creationism instead, and was complaining that to teach evolution at the college level in biology oppresses and discriminates against Christians who believe in creationism.

The University basically ignored this faux scandal, and aside from some impassioned letters to the editor at the campus paper and a couple of brief articles in the local paper nothing really came of it.

The idea that somebody could make it to freshman year of College, and genuinely expect a state University to teach creationism as fact and be that extremely offended at being taught evolution made me stunned.
 
2013-05-04 10:56:17 AM

Lorelle: Ho lee crap. Kids who are forced to attend that school are going to be farked up for a long, long time.


Or run for Congress on the gop ticket.
 
2013-05-04 11:01:55 AM

bigbobowski: randomjsa: Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well. The internet hate machine is in full effect and they need to knock it off. You are doing nobody any favors by giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test.

irregardless. I hate people who correct, so I hate myself. "irregardless" is not a word! it's just "regardless"!


That is inflammable talk right there.
 
2013-05-04 11:03:57 AM
When it is Santa Claws or the Toothfairy, it is cute, but Jesus with dinosaurs?
Them's fightin' words.
 
2013-05-04 11:14:09 AM

Neondistraction: PunGent: Let's see if anyone from the "it's a fake" crowd in the last thread shows up to defend it...

Well in all fairness this is something that sounds so absurd that it's easy to believe it's fake.  It's sort of the inverse of Poe's Law.

/ wasn't in the last thread
// just saying...


Heh, it DID have a Landover Baptist feel to it...
 
2013-05-04 11:28:30 AM

PunGent: Neondistraction: PunGent: Let's see if anyone from the "it's a fake" crowd in the last thread shows up to defend it...

Well in all fairness this is something that sounds so absurd that it's easy to believe it's fake.  It's sort of the inverse of Poe's Law.

/ wasn't in the last thread
// just saying...

Heh, it DID have a Landover Baptist feel to it...


I love reading the landover's mailbag, the emails they get are insane.
Most of the letters go like this: Dear pastor, they state their displeasure, confusion ,and then start to threaten the site . Then comes the cursing in ALL I CAPS, after which a prayer for  the Pastor and then  a sincerely yours.
 
2013-05-04 11:35:23 AM

randomjsa: Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well. The internet hate machine is in full effect and they need to knock it off. You are doing nobody any favors by giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test.


The list of things I truly hate is quite short, but "indoctrinating children with willful ignorance" is definitely on it.
 
2013-05-04 11:37:51 AM

Notabunny: fta It seems that since the last presidential election, atheists have grown more confident about having something of a license to go after Christians.

Thanks, Obama


Oh, she must mean that since he was elected non-Christians aren't being run over roughshod by Christian doctrines and laws.  That, of course, is persecution and oppression of Christianity.
 
2013-05-04 11:39:20 AM

randomjsa: Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well. The internet hate machine is in full effect and they need to knock it off. You are doing nobody any favors by giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test.


*twitch*

I'm on my phone, so I can't bold the part of your statement that makes me want to beat you to death with a dictionary and a copy of Strunk and White. Perhaps you can figure it out.
 
2013-05-04 11:40:15 AM
Actually I think the thing that bothered me the most was that they think sharp teeth are not for eating meat. That's several steps down in the derp.
 
2013-05-04 11:40:19 AM

Captain Dan: the way that Baby Boomers must have felt when JFK died.


I was five.
 
2013-05-04 11:43:57 AM

Doc Daneeka: Just let the South secede already.

They can set up the 3rd World theocracy they seem to want so badly.  With outlawed abortion, no environmental protection, no regulations, no worker rights, and mandatory gun ownership.

And we can have the progressive, modern democracy, with single-payer universal healthcare, high speed rail, electric cars, a living wage, a healthy middle class, sensible gun control, and strict separation of church and state.

Think how much better things would be without those Neanderthals holding us back from every measure of progress!  Fighting to save the Union was the biggest mistake the US ever made.


You are confused about the North, not nearly as enlightened as you think.
 
2013-05-04 11:44:30 AM

Lorelle: Ho lee crap. Kids who are forced to attend that school are going to be farked up for a long, long time.


We don't tend to come out of it well-prepared for reality, no.
 
2013-05-04 11:44:47 AM

randomjsa: giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test


10/10, would enjoy troll again.
 
2013-05-04 11:45:45 AM

machodonkeywrestler: Doc Daneeka: Just let the South secede already.

They can set up the 3rd World theocracy they seem to want so badly.  With outlawed abortion, no environmental protection, no regulations, no worker rights, and mandatory gun ownership.

And we can have the progressive, modern democracy, with single-payer universal healthcare, high speed rail, electric cars, a living wage, a healthy middle class, sensible gun control, and strict separation of church and state.

Think how much better things would be without those Neanderthals holding us back from every measure of progress!  Fighting to save the Union was the biggest mistake the US ever made.

You are confused about the North, not nearly as enlightened as you think.


And, looking at your profile, it's rich that someone from the Mississippi of the North making that comment.
 
2013-05-04 11:46:19 AM

neenerist: randomjsa: giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test

10/10, would enjoy troll again.


Agreed...that was extremely well done. :^)
 
2013-05-04 11:50:55 AM

Stone Meadow: neenerist: randomjsa: giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test

10/10, would enjoy troll again.

Agreed...that was extremely well done. :^)


Aye!

/golf clap.
 
2013-05-04 12:07:17 PM
Just ran through this thread and notices that there is no real discussion on the question that blew my mind ...

#15. The average size of a dinosaur was:(d) sheep.

WTF??

Where does this come from? Is it some kind of creationist ret-con so they can claim that the ark could hold all of them?
 
2013-05-04 12:10:11 PM

Farking Canuck: Just ran through this thread and notices that there is no real discussion on the question that blew my mind ...

#15. The average size of a dinosaur was:(d) sheep.

WTF??

Where does this come from? Is it some kind of creationist ret-con so they can claim that the ark could hold all of them?


Yes. Yes it is.
 
2013-05-04 12:11:34 PM

Silverstaff: It makes me scared of what places like this would teach for history.


He apparently had been taught that Catholicism was a completely unrelated religion to "Christianity", and was actually a devil-worshipping cult that had arisen in the medeival era to oppress "Christianity" in it's original form (which upon further discussion apparently meant Evangelical Protestantism).



I am an atheist, who was raised Catholic, I have since decried my former religion as a bunch of alter boy lovin, gay bashing, money grabbers.  But your little story manage to spark up what ever fragments of Catholic pride are left shattered in my purely metaphoric soul. I though everybody, in "christian nations", knew that the Catholic church was supposedly started by Peter, as Jesus named him "the rock"(I think Peter's name use to be Dwayne) and told him he would be the cornerstone of his church.

/congrats on getting me pissed off over misconceptions of something I no longer believe in. Seriously, good job.
 
2013-05-04 12:23:28 PM

RatMaster999: Matthew Keene: Science and the theory of evolution actually flatters the creator. The way it was laid out in Genesis is so the small minds of the day could get their head around it. Anyone who takes Genesis word for word is a tool.

A truly intelligent designer would create a system that would grow and change to make itself more efficient.  With that in mind, why couldn't God have started with the Big Bang, then sat back and watched it all unfold?  Perhaps its his form of entertainment (SimCity, Divine Edition?), or maybe God is using the universe as an experiment for His science fair project?


Because priests can't use a god like that to control people, and atheletes can't thank a god like that for helping them win the Super Bowl.
 
2013-05-04 12:30:42 PM

tjsands1118: I though everybody, in "christian nations", knew that the Catholic church was supposedly started by Peter, as Jesus named him "the rock"(I think Peter's name use to be Dwayne) and told him he would be the cornerstone of his church.


The Gospel of Peter was rejected for use in the Cannon. Rock on!
 
2013-05-04 12:33:06 PM
Burn baby, burn
 
2013-05-04 12:33:21 PM

Silverstaff: It makes me scared of what places like this would teach for history.

I remember talking to someone once, a few years ago, who had what I could only call a hideously skewed version of the history of the Christian church.  I don't mean theology, I mean actual documented history.

He apparently had been taught that Catholicism was a completely unrelated religion to "Christianity", and was actually a devil-worshipping cult that had arisen in the medeival era to oppress "Christianity" in it's original form (which upon further discussion apparently meant Evangelical Protestantism).


Cool story, bro. Your coworker reminds me of a cousin of mine who lives in a large left coast metro area known for its progressive attitudes and relaxed lifestyle. In contrast to her surroundings she was raised and partially schooled in a tiny fundie congregation which rejects modern science and history. One time several years ago at a family reunion she asked my wife and me 'what we believed in'? After some initial confusion I reminded her that I was raised without religious indoctrination and that as a consequence didn't really have any religious beliefs. My wife said she'd been raised Catholic.

The Catholic part, not my non-religion, launched a quiet tirade. My cousin flatly stated that Catholicism was NOT Christianity and claimed instead that Catholics were nothing more than idol worshiping pagans who were damned to eternal hellfire and brimstone.

Good times...good times!
 
2013-05-04 12:37:25 PM

Stone Meadow: Silverstaff: It makes me scared of what places like this would teach for history.

I remember talking to someone once, a few years ago, who had what I could only call a hideously skewed version of the history of the Christian church.  I don't mean theology, I mean actual documented history.

He apparently had been taught that Catholicism was a completely unrelated religion to "Christianity", and was actually a devil-worshipping cult that had arisen in the medeival era to oppress "Christianity" in it's original form (which upon further discussion apparently meant Evangelical Protestantism).

Cool story, bro. Your coworker reminds me of a cousin of mine who lives in a large left coast metro area known for its progressive attitudes and relaxed lifestyle. In contrast to her surroundings she was raised and partially schooled in a tiny fundie congregation which rejects modern science and history. One time several years ago at a family reunion she asked my wife and me 'what we believed in'? After some initial confusion I reminded her that I was raised without religious indoctrination and that as a consequence didn't really have any religious beliefs. My wife said she'd been raised Catholic.

The Catholic part, not my non-religion, launched a quiet tirade. My cousin flatly stated that Catholicism was NOT Christianity and claimed instead that Catholics were nothing more than idol worshiping pagans who were damned to eternal hellfire and brimstone.

Good times...good times!


Just draw a pentagram on the ground in chalk and chant the following:
Y'AI'NG'NGAHYOG-SOTHOTHH'EE-L'GEBF'AI THRODOGUAAAH
 
2013-05-04 12:46:58 PM

Lady Indica: Hack Patooey: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

Dude, who the farkity fark cares if their kid uses profanity, that can certainly be dealt with by you in your home if you maintain any farking discipline. That's a fark of a lot easier than shoring up your child's deficient education. And it's a fark of lot easier than the goddamned nightmares of hell, and fears, and superstitions she's learning.

Seriously where is your brain? And if it's really just 'bad influences' you're concerned about and not the 'f-bomb', then move to a better district. Better that then what you're doing, and you'd save money to boot.


On our first camping trip of the year we allow our children to have a swear fest. It lasts one hour and the kids can say any words they want, as long as they use them properly. They have been doing this since they were six. We have never heard them swear at any other time.
 
2013-05-04 12:57:35 PM
I don't get why everyone is shocked at this. I went to a parochial school that was basically like Jesus Camp. That school didn't even teach us about dinosaurs or fossils. We would just skip entire chapters of our science books.

My cousin asked a question about dinosaurs once and the teacher made her leave the room.

Just because these kids are being taught this now doesn't mean they'll forever be farked up. Most of the kids i grew up with and who went to that school with me grew up to be adults who believe in science.
 
2013-05-04 01:03:54 PM

Ecaps: This test is a clear example of how the American education is going down the proverbial tubes.


I can't help but wonder if you know the origins of this phrase.
 
2013-05-04 01:07:02 PM

EmmaLou: I don't get why everyone is shocked at this. I went to a parochial school that was basically like Jesus Camp. That school didn't even teach us about dinosaurs or fossils. We would just skip entire chapters of our science books.

My cousin asked a question about dinosaurs once and the teacher made her leave the room.

Just because these kids are being taught this now doesn't mean they'll forever be farked up. Most of the kids i grew up with and who went to that school with me grew up to be adults who believe in science.


Key word "most of," and your evidence is anecdotal.
 
2013-05-04 01:11:01 PM

Lorelle: Ho lee crap. Kids who are forced to attend that school are going to be farked up for a long, long time.


I was.
 
2013-05-04 01:11:54 PM

randomjsa: Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well. The internet hate machine is in full effect and they need to knock it off. You are doing nobody any favors by giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test.


Stupidity and ignorance should criticized. Respecting someone's right to say something stupid is not the same as respecting the content of their speech.

Also irregardless is not a real word.
 
2013-05-04 01:12:30 PM

PC LOAD LETTER: Stone Meadow: Silverstaff: It makes me scared of what places like this would teach for history.

I remember talking to someone once, a few years ago, who had what I could only call a hideously skewed version of the history of the Christian church.  I don't mean theology, I mean actual documented history.

He apparently had been taught that Catholicism was a completely unrelated religion to "Christianity", and was actually a devil-worshipping cult that had arisen in the medeival era to oppress "Christianity" in it's original form (which upon further discussion apparently meant Evangelical Protestantism).

Cool story, bro. Your coworker reminds me of a cousin of mine who lives in a large left coast metro area known for its progressive attitudes and relaxed lifestyle. In contrast to her surroundings she was raised and partially schooled in a tiny fundie congregation which rejects modern science and history. One time several years ago at a family reunion she asked my wife and me 'what we believed in'? After some initial confusion I reminded her that I was raised without religious indoctrination and that as a consequence didn't really have any religious beliefs. My wife said she'd been raised Catholic.

The Catholic part, not my non-religion, launched a quiet tirade. My cousin flatly stated that Catholicism was NOT Christianity and claimed instead that Catholics were nothing more than idol worshiping pagans who were damned to eternal hellfire and brimstone.

Good times...good times!

Just draw a pentagram on the ground in chalk and chant the following:
Y'AI'NG'NGAHYOG-SOTHOTHH'EE-L'GEBF'AI THRODOGUAAAH


I know of a Baptist church that teaches that the Baptists are not protestants, but have existed a separate  unblemished version of the faith that can trace their lineage the whole way back to Christ with no evil forays into catholicism required...

// The church also teaches that the sun goes around the Earth.
//// The church is in upstate New York
 
2013-05-04 01:13:51 PM

Doc Daneeka: Just let the South secede already.

They can set up the 3rd World theocracy they seem to want so badly.  With outlawed abortion, no environmental protection, no regulations, no worker rights, and mandatory gun ownership.

And we can have the progressive, modern democracy, with single-payer universal healthcare, high speed rail, electric cars, a living wage, a healthy middle class, sensible gun control, and strict separation of church and state.

Think how much better things would be without those Neanderthals holding us back from every measure of progress!  Fighting to save the Union was the biggest mistake the US ever made.


Again with this? Look, I know the south has lots of farkups, but I've met evil rednecks in upstate MAINE. And how do you explain Texas or Alaska?
 
2013-05-04 01:32:10 PM

Dimensio: IlGreven: FurbyGoneFubar: Snopes also included the other side of the test:  http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/sciencetest.asp

[www.snopes.com image 500x667]

18 is precious.  I've got an idea: When these sorts of people tell you about how great Jesus Christ is, just ask them "Were you there?"

They will respond by explaining that they were not there, but that the Author of the book who explains what occurred was there.


Sounds like my cue to ask "Then how did the author of Genesis know what happened before the sixth day, when God created humans?"
 
2013-05-04 01:33:49 PM
Graduates and employees of this school should be stripped of their right to vote, under a 'separation of church and state' context.
 
2013-05-04 01:37:14 PM

THX 1138: Dimensio: IlGreven: FurbyGoneFubar: Snopes also included the other side of the test:  http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/sciencetest.asp

[www.snopes.com image 500x667]

18 is precious.  I've got an idea: When these sorts of people tell you about how great Jesus Christ is, just ask them "Were you there?"

They will respond by explaining that they were not there, but that the Author of the book who explains what occurred was there.

Sounds like my cue to ask "Then how did the author of Genesis know what happened before the sixth day, when God created humans?"


As my mom says, God told them. See, the writers of the KJV of the bible were divinely inspired by god to write the literal truth. However, the pope is just a man and fallible. I don't bring up these things at Thanksgiving anymore.
 
2013-05-04 01:37:20 PM
Freedom of speech and freedom of religion is not the same as freedom from criticism for being farking stupid.
 
2013-05-04 01:48:32 PM

dforkus: I know of a Baptist church that teaches that the Baptists are not protestants, but have existed a separate unblemished version of the faith that can trace their lineage the whole way back to Christ with no evil forays into catholicism required...


Stone Meadow: My cousin flatly stated that Catholicism was NOT Christianity and claimed instead that Catholics were nothing more than idol worshiping pagans who were damned to eternal hellfire and brimstone.


Yup, my co-worker was spouting both those lines.

I don't know whether to be relieved that I wasn't alone in encountering this, or scared that they have spread that far.
 
2013-05-04 02:01:43 PM

THX 1138: Dimensio: IlGreven: FurbyGoneFubar: Snopes also included the other side of the test:  http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/sciencetest.asp

[www.snopes.com image 500x667]

18 is precious.  I've got an idea: When these sorts of people tell you about how great Jesus Christ is, just ask them "Were you there?"

They will respond by explaining that they were not there, but that the Author of the book who explains what occurred was there.

Sounds like my cue to ask "Then how did the author of Genesis know what happened before the sixth day, when God created humans?"


But don't you see? They were there when god talked to them through a burning bush or whatever. Just trust me.
 
2013-05-04 02:09:09 PM

THX 1138: Dimensio: IlGreven: FurbyGoneFubar: Snopes also included the other side of the test:  http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/sciencetest.asp

[www.snopes.com image 500x667]

18 is precious.  I've got an idea: When these sorts of people tell you about how great Jesus Christ is, just ask them "Were you there?"

They will respond by explaining that they were not there, but that the Author of the book who explains what occurred was there.

Sounds like my cue to ask "Then how did the author of Genesis know what happened before the sixth day, when God created humans?"


God, who was there, told the author of Genesis, thus we can be assured that the account is accurate.
 
2013-05-04 02:10:49 PM
As a bible literalist, this is insane.  Job 40 describes Behemoth as having bones of bronze and limbs of iron.  Clearly, it's a cyborg.
 
2013-05-04 02:11:19 PM

cameroncrazy1984: burning bush


giggity!
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-04 02:16:39 PM
It's a private school.  They have the right to be idiots.
 
2013-05-04 02:18:52 PM
So I guess they watch the documentary "The Flintstones" in history class.
 
2013-05-04 02:27:53 PM

Sum Dum Gai: As a bible literalist, this is insane.  Job 40 describes Behemoth as having bones of bronze and limbs of iron.  Clearly, it's a cyborg.


I'm not saying it was aliens, but...
 
2013-05-04 02:35:53 PM

Silverstaff: I don't know whether to be relieved that I wasn't alone in encountering this, or scared that they have spread that far.


www.blackframefame.com
 
2013-05-04 02:36:11 PM

Spiralmonkey: Mentat: Jesus Christ.

... and the dinosaur he rode in on.


This morning at breakfast after running club, something very similar came up in the conversation. It dawned on me to say, "At least we know Jesus wouldn't have used spurs on the dinosaur."
 
2013-05-04 02:39:40 PM

Alphax: Rather silly that a marriage councilor would have a religious qualifier.


It's a pretty big industry to be a Christian anything.  I was calling landscaping companies a few summers ago, and one of the owners entire shtick was how Christian he was.

But Christian marriage councilors are pretty much there to take divorce as far off the table as possible.  Literally.  I knew a couple who went to one and when the wife mentioned she was unhappy, scared and thought it would be best to leave the marriage, she was told literally that leaving wasn't even an option.

The husband was told to make the family more Godly.
 
2013-05-04 02:40:17 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Sum Dum Gai: As a bible literalist, this is insane.  Job 40 describes Behemoth as having bones of bronze and limbs of iron.  Clearly, it's a cyborg.

I'm not saying it was aliens, but...


I remember them...

fc03.deviantart.net
 
2013-05-04 02:41:20 PM

OgreMagi: It's a private school.  They have the right to be idiots.


And we have the right to point out that they are idiots.
 
2013-05-04 02:43:40 PM

OgreMagi: It's a private school.  They have the right to be idiots.


Not granted without defining the bounds of 'idiot'.
 
2013-05-04 03:07:19 PM
Well, my eyes have been opened.

/tosses B.S and M.S. into the shredder...
 
2013-05-04 03:44:19 PM

baddogg: Sure, she know how to swear, not around me.  What wrong with backing up a few decades and providing a education similar to mine.  Forget the religion, it's relatively minor.  Scores are way higher than the students she could have been with (higher), get it?  There are 13 year olds selling themselves 3 blocks from here.


Really?  For like anything?  I have an engine swap I'm doing and my damn hands are too big to reach some of the bolts.  Thin willowy pre-teen hands would be great for getting the last few bolts undone.

I may have to start hiring day laborers in your neighborhood rather than from behind the Home Depot.

Your Average Witty Fark User: Freedom of speech and freedom of religion is not the same as freedom from criticism for being farking stupid.


Can I get that in bumper sticker form?
 
2013-05-04 03:50:37 PM

Stone Meadow: ongbok: Now maybe people will start believing that the Right are intentionally trying to keep people stupid.

I honestly don't think that's happening on any large scale. It's not like right-wingers like the Koch Bros, the Bachmann-Gingrich wing of the GOP or others ever sat down to say, "Yeah, yeah...that it! We'll keep the sheeple purposely ignorant so we can take advantage of them!"


You don't think so? With all of the Rights attempts to get rid of educational standards and to destroy the public school system over the last few years
 
2013-05-04 03:56:32 PM

tjsands1118: Silverstaff: It makes me scared of what places like this would teach for history.


He apparently had been taught that Catholicism was a completely unrelated religion to "Christianity", and was actually a devil-worshipping cult that had arisen in the medeival era to oppress "Christianity" in it's original form (which upon further discussion apparently meant Evangelical Protestantism).


I am an atheist, who was raised Catholic, I have since decried my former religion as a bunch of alter boy lovin, gay bashing, money grabbers.  But your little story manage to spark up what ever fragments of Catholic pride are left shattered in my purely metaphoric soul. I though everybody, in "christian nations", knew that the Catholic church was supposedly started by Peter, as Jesus named him "the rock"(I think Peter's name use to be Dwayne) and told him he would be the cornerstone of his church.

/congrats on getting me pissed off over misconceptions of something I no longer believe in. Seriously, good job.


Same here (former catholic) but I grew up in a little mostly evangelical bordering on pentacostal town and by 8th grade was being told nearly daily that I was going to hell for being a demon worshipping catholic so this comes as no surprise to me.
 
2013-05-04 03:57:19 PM

jayphat: Alphax: blackartemis: I went to Christian university and took biology.
First class
Prof "We will study evolution as fact, we will not be discussing religion. If you have a problem with this, drop the class, change your major, or learn that sometimes in life you have to learn to be quiet and push on".

Had an equally awesome human sexuality prof.
Girl gets offended by discussion of anal sex.
Prof "What do you want to be after graduation"
Girl "Christian Marriage Counselor"
Prof "So you think Christians don't have anal sex, maybe they don't have abuse within the relationship either? What do you plan to do, teach these new couples they actually have to have sex with eachother to make babies? What happens when reality strikes and you have a one on one with a woman who claims that her husband will either beat her or cheap on her unless she lets him have anal sex? You are a little girl and you either need to grow up or pack your bags and leave college"
The girl just silently sobbed at her desk for 10minutes while we continued on.

/csb

Rather silly that a marriage councilor would have a religious qualifier.

I'm sure the "christian" part if it will be to tell the wife "do whatever you husband says. He's the man." My wife's aunt/uncle is like this. Deep rooted Christians. Wife has a masters in psychology. Has to stay home all day and can't get a job because the husband is the one who is supposed to earn the money. And he's got a 35K a year job.


Ehh, not so much at this school, in fact there were many discussions on the topic of submission as written in the bible. The girls did not believe it meant as you have posted. They were very liberal on some concepts and conservative on others, it was very weird.

However there are sadly many cases like the one you gave...
 
2013-05-04 04:04:42 PM

markfara: Nappy Imus: Bubbacus: Since evolution is a fact, we only have to wait for the fundamentalists to winnow themselves from the gene pool.

Last I heard, evolution was still a theory. A good theory mind you, but a theory nonetheless :D

Please learn what the word "theory" means. Thank you.


Not only do I know what the word theory means, I also know the difference between it and scientific theory, and my statement still stands. Questions? Comments?
 
2013-05-04 04:04:48 PM

randomjsa: You are doing nobody any favors by giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test.


Shut the fark up dolt.
 
2013-05-04 04:10:00 PM

WhyteRaven74: Nappy Imus: Last I heard, evolution was still a theory. A good theory mind you, but a theory nonetheless :D

Actually evolution is a process, thus a fact. How it happens aka the theory of evolution, is the theory.


See markfara? That's how you win an argument; with facts. Thank you WhyteRaven74 :D
 
2013-05-04 04:16:10 PM

bugontherug: ongbok: Alphax: Put me down as someone who thought that test was satire.

This sort of miseducation is criminal.

Now maybe people will start believing that the Right are intentionally trying to keep people stupid.

My personal favorite is the last question on the second page of the test:

Q: What can you say when someone tells you Earth is billions of years old?

A: were you there

They are training them to mindlessly parrot moronic talking points in early childhood! How can anyone claim conservative leaders are not intentionally trying to keep people stupid?


Because Democrats are not religious at all. . .
 
2013-05-04 04:33:13 PM
Religion is simply a facet of man's incredible hubris and arrogance.

He creates beings of unfathomable power in his image and says that he was created in their image. He puts himself at the center of the universe. When the gods are creating everything, they save the best for last and give control of the world to man. When man does anything, the gods are always watching and meddling. It's because of man that the entire universe becomes corrupt and cursed. The gods care only about man, and one day they'll take man to eternal paradise or eternal agony.

To put it in sexual terms, religion is auto-fellatio.
 
2013-05-04 04:39:44 PM
As this author writes, any parent, any adult who has to lie to their children to keep their beliefs (and their egos) intact is a sad, sad mess.
I'm never concerned with the people who have a religion... my concern is about the people who never question theirs.
 
2013-05-04 04:54:46 PM

AdrienVeidt: So, if God is perfect and so is His Creation, why would He choose to kill them off? Did He not tell Noah to make the ark big enough, or not allow enough time? Or were they the misceginated offspring of angels farking lizards, or whatever?

And I still don't understand why faith is valuable to Him.


I always wondered about that, all the way back to "Adam and Eve"...
By definition a perfect being could not create an imperfect thing.
When this god created humans, they must have been perfect since imperfection was impossible.
If they were indeed perfect, they must have been as perfect as the god that made them, and would not have needed to be tested with the tree of knowledge, since they could not be swayed into committing sin, an imperfect act.

If this god was perfect, how did it make mistakes on such a grand scale that it had to not only test its creation several times (Job, Joseph and Mary, Adam, Eve, Jonah, Abraham and Sarah, and even Jesus) but destroy it and start again?
 
2013-05-04 05:09:08 PM

Nappy Imus: Bubbacus: Since evolution is a fact, we only have to wait for the fundamentalists to winnow themselves from the gene pool.

Last I heard, evolution was still a theory. A good theory mind you, but a theory nonetheless :D


Might I suggest you take another look? Evolution is well-established fact, and was known as such by scientists even before Darwin. Natural selection is a theory that tries to explain the "why" and "how" of evolution.

If evolution wasn't real, numerous commercial industrial processes in pharmaceuticals and other fields simply wouldn't work. But they do work, and reliably produce billions of dollars in revenues every year. How much more factual can you get?
 
2013-05-04 05:28:23 PM
Doc Daneeka:
Besides, it'd probably only be temporary.  The South would be a bankrupt, failed state within 10 years. We'd be free to step back in and pick up the pieces if we wanted.within

As was said before, the South/Confederate States of America would be a warmonger, because their version of Christianity requires a persecuting enemy to defeat.  They would harass and attempt to invade the Northeastern and Western confederacies, whose secular attitudes would be an affront to their very existence.  Given that most of the missile silos in the US  and most of the US Air Force bases are in Confederate states, it would be a very short war.
 
2013-05-04 05:36:05 PM

baddogg: Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.


And you actually think that instead of having your child to confront with all the stuff you might find undesirable in the world and learning to deal with it (with your guidance as a parent), you think that shielding them from the world will automatically make them immune to it?

Here's a clue: keeping children ignorant of something will only make them want to do it more. And harder. And faster. And bigger. And sooner.

Maybe, just maybe you should have let your child be exposed to the "f-word", so that they could come home and tell you, then you could sit down and explain to them why it's not a polite word to say. They can decide for themselves, using what you have taught them, if what they encounter is good for them. Y'know, like a parent. Instead, you "bubble wrap" your child and hope it works.

Good luck with that.

/I'm sure they already know how to swear
 
2013-05-04 05:36:15 PM

bonobo73: This isn't about science fact -- this is about culture.

Day to day, how often does it really factor into your thinking whether or not dinosaurs existed and the true age of the earth?  Does it really matter if your ophthalmologist or mechanic or pc technician has a thorough understanding of modern scientific theory about the fossil record?


If you were trolling, you got me: HELL YES, it matters! I tolerated a handyman who believed that garbage, but a professional? No way. Professionals are required to have some critical thinking skills. I don't discriminate against religious people in-general, but if it reaches the point of "Young Earth Creationism", numerology, or someone practically paralyzed by superstitions, I'm out of there. All 3 of those are real examples from my experiences, incidentally. I briefly knew a dentist who's seriously afraid of stepping on sidewalk cracks! Never went back.
 
2013-05-04 05:40:13 PM
Relevant article:

Is evolution missing link in some Pennsylvania high schools?
Some 20 percent of science teachers in survey say they believe in creationism

April 28, 2013 12:25 am


Ninety percent chose evolution; 19 percent said they believe in creationism, not defined in the questionnaire; 13 percent said they believe in intelligent design; and another 5 percent answered "not sure/other." Teachers were allowed to list more than one option, so the numbers don't total 100 percent.
....
But Mr. Berkman said their most alarming finding was that teachers need not introduce creationism in class to undercut interest and belief in evolution.

"You just have to throw doubt and downplay evolution," he said. "The idea that teachers are doing a really weak job - many a really weak job - of introducing evolution, we think, is because of reactions they get and maybe because of the lack of confidence in what they are teaching. That especially is the case with evolution, where many students have been primed by parents and youth groups to raise difficult and challenging questions."

http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/news/education/is-evolution-mi ssin g-link-in-some-pennsylvania-high-schools-685389/
 
2013-05-04 06:32:54 PM

Mentat: Jesus Christ.


I blame him too.
 
2013-05-04 06:42:13 PM
Freedom of religion, biatches.  Your outrage is bullshiat no matter how mad it made you feel.  It was a private Christian school, so parents obviously are not oblivious to what their children are being taught.  They want to send their kids there to be indoctrinated than that is their prerogative.  If it was a public school then I would tell everyone to 'have at 'em' but that's not the case.  If that's what they want that's what they pay for so let it go Sally.
 
2013-05-04 07:53:04 PM

Ray_Peranus: Freedom of religion, biatches.



And nobody is denying their right to teach whatever intense stupidity they want to their children.

This thread is full of posts mocking their stupidity and speculating what fast food joint these children are going to end up working at,

We are exercising Freedom of Speech ... Biatch.
 
2013-05-04 08:26:07 PM

mutterfark: ScaryBottles: I swear to christ we're like 10 generations tops from herding these morons for food.

How Eloitist of you. ;)


what you did there,
I thought it important that someone let you know they saw it.

/FARK, it is the little things which count
 
2013-05-04 08:47:08 PM

Doc Daneeka: It doesn't matter to an ophthalmologist whether dinosaurs existed or not, but if he honestly believes dinosaurs walked around 4000 years ago, it suggests that he lacks the basic critical thinking, reasoning, and cognitive skills to be a good ophthalmologist.


Nah.  He may have all of those skills and apply them to his job,  but not to his beliefs about dinosaurs.  A good car mechanic uses the same skills and it doesn't matter what he believes about dinosaurs.

There's a difference between applying science and doing science.  Only the latter is incompatible with creationism.
 
2013-05-04 10:09:19 PM

PC LOAD LETTER: "Were you there?"

No, but you weren't there for Jesus, so I guess we're even, right?


Yeah, it would of been cool to be at the 1st council of Nicea when they made up Jesus.
 
2013-05-04 10:15:59 PM

acohn: Doc Daneeka:
Besides, it'd probably only be temporary.  The South would be a bankrupt, failed state within 10 years. We'd be free to step back in and pick up the pieces if we wanted.within

As was said before, the South/Confederate States of America would be a warmonger, because their version of Christianity requires a persecuting enemy to defeat.  They would harass and attempt to invade the Northeastern and Western confederacies, whose secular attitudes would be an affront to their very existence.  Given that most of the missile silos in the US  and most of the US Air Force bases are in Confederate states, it would be a very short war.


Is that last sentence supposed to be AREN'T? Because your links tell a different tale.
 
2013-05-04 10:42:17 PM

Nappy Imus: Oh, off topic, but if you had the chance to actually kill (or try to kill) a god, would you take it? Steal his/her/its golden blood and drink it and become a god, or something :D I mean, if you had just one shot at meeting god, would you bow, or would you get all stabby? Well anyway, feel free to stay on topic :D


Yes, hell yes I would.

I'd make a far better...or perhaps far worse god than the one I elbowed nastily outta the way.

No fake claims of "benevolence" or "compassion" or so-called "loving-kindness" when I sit lazily on my now-divine ass and piddly-fart around while My planet full of human pets/worshiipers/playthings suffers from shiat I could damned well prevent with but the merest twitch of My pinky, as the Deadbeat Formerly August Personage of Heaven is doing right this very moment.

If I decided to be Good, I'd be working My ass off day and night to take direct, in-yo-face care of My creation. Those who saw Me and freely wished to follow Me would have no doubt whatsoever of My existence or of My will.

If I decided to be Evil....well....I would still be very directly and very visibly playing My rotten pranks instead of lazily sitting back and dawdling with My thumb up My ass.
 
2013-05-05 01:06:05 AM

yukichigai: Your Average Witty Fark User: Freedom of speech and freedom of religion is not the same as freedom from criticism for being farking stupid.

Can I get that in bumper sticker form?


I'd buy one of those bumper stickers.
 
2013-05-05 01:10:58 AM

Beowoolfie: Nappy Imus: Bubbacus: Since evolution is a fact, we only have to wait for the fundamentalists to winnow themselves from the gene pool.

Last I heard, evolution was still a theory. A good theory mind you, but a theory nonetheless :D

Might I suggest you take another look? Evolution is well-established fact, and was known as such by scientists even before Darwin. Natural selection is a theory that tries to explain the "why" and "how" of evolution.

If evolution wasn't real, numerous commercial industrial processes in pharmaceuticals and other fields simply wouldn't work. But they do work, and reliably produce billions of dollars in revenues every year. How much more factual can you get?


Yeah, someone earlier helped to clear that up, but thank you kindly nonetheless. Well, until the next time I ignorantly shoot off my mouth, farewell :D
 
2013-05-05 01:42:09 AM

jayphat: Is that last sentence supposed to be AREN'T? Because your links tell a different tale.


Yeah, it should've been AREN'T.  Good thing the links told the story I wanted.
 
2013-05-05 03:07:16 AM
FREEDOM OF SCIENCE, BIATCHES!
 
2013-05-05 08:12:08 AM

Silverstaff: It makes me scared of what places like this would teach for history.

I remember talking to someone once, a few years ago, who had what I could only call a hideously skewed version of the history of the Christian church.  I don't mean theology, I mean actual documented history.

He apparently had been taught that Catholicism was a completely unrelated religion to "Christianity", and was actually a devil-worshipping cult that had arisen in the medeival era to oppress "Christianity" in it's original form (which upon further discussion apparently meant Evangelical Protestantism).

This arose when I was at work, and while chatting with somebody, the discussion turned to theology.  At the time I was taking a Comparative Theology class at a public university, and found the subject fascinating.  I knew my co-worker was a somewhat devout Christian.  I mentioned Catholicism as a form of Christianity, which he took grave offense to and got very angry at the mention of.

He apparently thought modern Evangelical Protestant Christianity is the unaltered, original form of Christianity, practiced EXACTLY like it was from just after the crucifixion to the present day, but had been oppressed by Catholicism (which he considered to be some kind of ancient demon-worshipping cult that rose to power in the middle ages due to demon-w) from the medieval era until "Christians" fled to the Americas to be free from Catholic oppression and be able to found a Christian nation like God intended.


Was his name Jack Chick?
 
2013-05-05 08:35:56 AM

Ray_Peranus: Freedom of religion, biatches.  Your outrage is bullshiat no matter how mad it made you feel.  It was a private Christian school, so parents obviously are not oblivious to what their children are being taught.  They want to send their kids there to be indoctrinated than that is their prerogative.  If it was a public school then I would tell everyone to 'have at 'em' but that's not the case.  If that's what they want that's what they pay for so let it go Sally.


You sound defensive.
 
2013-05-05 08:37:03 AM

Stone Meadow: cameroncrazy1984: Sum Dum Gai: As a bible literalist, this is insane.  Job 40 describes Behemoth as having bones of bronze and limbs of iron.  Clearly, it's a cyborg.

I'm not saying it was aliens, but...

I remember them...

[image of a terminator]


Job 40 also mentions a tail which which is an ancient euphemism for a certain part of the male anatomy.  So it must be an x-rated cyborg.
 
2013-05-05 10:19:41 AM

JohnnyFootball: Lady Indica: Hack Patooey: baddogg: My 5 year old attends private Christian school.  Before you flame, listen.  A neighbor sent her kid to the local catchment school kindergarten  and learned how to drop the 'F' bomb in a day due to the low rental neighborhood adjacent to a fairly middle income neighborhood.  I could send my kid to another school via bus and learn Christian values and discipline which I did.  I am damn near a atheist but if I were any kind of parent and if my kid were on her way out for any reason, I'd want her to believe she was going to be with angels and be with God rather than be plant food.  I even attend church for a good nap to foster this.  She's happy, out of harms way, I hope!  Sure, I am bubble wrapping, but I won't regret a moderated Christian education vs. learning how to swear in Kindergarten.

Dude, who the farkity fark cares if their kid uses profanity, that can certainly be dealt with by you in your home if you maintain any farking discipline. That's a fark of a lot easier than shoring up your child's deficient education. And it's a fark of lot easier than the goddamned nightmares of hell, and fears, and superstitions she's learning.

Seriously where is your brain? And if it's really just 'bad influences' you're concerned about and not the 'f-bomb', then move to a better district. Better that then what you're doing, and you'd save money to boot.

On our first camping trip of the year we allow our children to have a swear fest. It lasts one hour and the kids can say any words they want, as long as they use them properly. They have been doing this since they were six. We have never heard them swear at any other time.


That is *awesome*. It ensures they have a lovely arsenal at their disposal should need arise, and are being taught that it's only used in the right time/place.

/likes it :D
 
2013-05-05 11:17:34 AM
I wonder how the school kids will react to the newly-minted internet notoriety of their tiny alma mater.
 
2013-05-05 06:22:55 PM

randomjsa: Yes, the test is stupid and just the sort of thing you expect out of Christians but the way the article downplays how people have been reacting toward the school as just "criticism" is highly misleading as well. The internet hate machine is in full effect and they need to knock it off. You are doing nobody any favors by giving the Christians actual cause to claim they are being persecuted irregardless of what you think of their stupid test.


Persecution mythology is an integral part of most Christian cults from Judaism, to Calvinist Protestant 'Pilgrims', to Mormonism. It requires absolutely zero external stoking, because fear of an evil, outsider society - an idea relentlessly promoted by the hillbilly witch doctors we mislabel as 'pastors' - is a time honored tactic to keep suggestible sheep in line and donating. See also: Anti-abortion outrage.
 
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