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(Addicting Info)   Comrade Lamar Szmith of Soviet Texasz introduces bill to require Politburo approval before being allowed to publish any scientific papers. до свидания моя родина   (addictinginfo.org) divider line 45
    More: Sick, politburos, scientific papers, gold standards  
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6711 clicks; posted to Politics » on 04 May 2013 at 1:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-05-03 10:38:06 PM  
12 votes:

mtlls: So stupid I cant even form a worthwhile comment


It's not as if you've received approval to submit such a comment anyways.
2013-05-04 02:13:42 AM  
4 votes:

skullkrusher: The All-Powerful Atheismo: skullkrusher: The All-Powerful Atheismo: skullkrusher: brichter: When future historians are autopsying the corpse of the american empire, I think this kind of thing is going to be very interesting.

People blindly accepting claims that an article makes without actually reading what it refers to?

you're right, the article was inaccurate.  They just have to approve that the research follows the board's political agenda BEFORE instead of after.

That's way better.

the author of TFA just made some shiat up

Point and you are in no danger of a mid-air collision

ah, the old "any criticism of undesirable thing X is valid regardless of veracity". You win


Point and you are in separate time zones
2013-05-04 12:24:49 AM  
4 votes:
Hey, remember a few threads ago when I accused Smith of wanting to put zampolits in charge of the NSF?  And remember those folks who told us we were overreacting and that Smith's requests were perfectly reasonable?  Fark all of you.
2013-05-04 08:57:28 AM  
3 votes:

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm pretty sure this means I can submit a grant request for $50,000,000 to determine if "The Yellow Rose of Texas" is objectively the greatest song ever written and have a giant box labeled "Wad o' Cash From Gub'mint" on my porch no later than Tuesday.


You are questioning the awesomeness of 'The Yellow Rose of Texas'?  How dare you, with a research premise like that, there is no way you would get funding.

Now, if you wanted to do the same study on say, the acapella version, the polka version, or the gospel hymn version, then you get the cash in  heartbeat
2013-05-04 08:16:07 AM  
3 votes:

fusillade762: Ah, the last one was an attempt to strip the peer-review requirement for federally funded research.

SOPA writer Rep. Lamar Smith (R-TX) fresh off not knowing how the internet works, writes a bill not knowing how science works either and removing peer-review from NSF grant requirements

So not really "fresh" as much as "re-heated".


More like he had all this leftover bad legislation that nobody wanted, so he chopped it up and stuck it in a crust. Now he's trying to serve it up as if it's more appetizing.

So, not so much "reheated" as "retarted."
2013-05-04 04:28:38 AM  
3 votes:
In Soviet Texas, Alamo remembers you!
2013-05-04 03:35:40 AM  
3 votes:
I'm pretty sure this means I can submit a grant request for $50,000,000 to determine if "The Yellow Rose of Texas" is objectively the greatest song ever written and have a giant box labeled "Wad o' Cash From Gub'mint" on my porch no later than Tuesday.
2013-05-04 02:10:31 AM  
3 votes:

skullkrusher: The All-Powerful Atheismo: skullkrusher: brichter: When future historians are autopsying the corpse of the american empire, I think this kind of thing is going to be very interesting.

People blindly accepting claims that an article makes without actually reading what it refers to?

you're right, the article was inaccurate.  They just have to approve that the research follows the board's political agenda BEFORE instead of after.

That's way better.

the author of TFA just made some shiat up


Point and you are in no danger of a mid-air collision
2013-05-04 02:00:34 AM  
3 votes:
File photo of Lamar Smith:

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
2013-05-04 09:10:09 AM  
2 votes:
What "small gubbmint" means in practice:

1. Determining what science is, and is not (actual science is "religion", and vice versa)
2. Determining what proper sexual and marital relationships are
3. Snooping into every tiny detail of your life because TERROR
4. Cutting taxes and kicking off wars while fulminating about deficits
5. Building tanks that are not needed, as stated repeatedly by the Pentagon, while at the very same time fulminating against "stimulus through government spending" on things like bridges on the point of collapse
6. Defining rape as a crime committed by a woman against a man when she wants to murder his baby after having had totally consensual sex, cause otherwise she wouldn't be pregnant
7. Apologizing to international oil companies when their rigs blow up and spill millions of gallons of oil
8. Thundering condemnation against disaster relief until it's needed in your own state
9. Ensuring that you can easily buy a gun with no background check or registration whatsoever
10. Undermining, underfunding, and packing with hacks those parts of government that your constituents support (EPA) but your corporate funders hate, and then condemning the ineptitude of what you have sabotaged.
11.  Complaining about religious persecution (against Christians) while demanding religious persecution of Muslims.
2013-05-04 06:42:12 AM  
2 votes:

dickfreckle: Benevolent Misanthrope: Too late.  I dont think anyone sees America as having scientific or political integrity any more.

This pisses me off. We were once a nation that held a dead man's promise to go the moon by the decade's end.

And we did it. Math and science were sexy. Great minds were given carte blanche to do what they do. It was an era when "American exceptionalism" actually existed beyond our proclivity for producing a war machine. You didn't fark with America in, I dunno, 1969.

These days we are a joke, and seem to take pride in it.


Amen:

www.addictinginfo.org
2013-05-04 05:09:40 AM  
2 votes:

LordJiro: AverageAmericanGuy: The government shouldn't be in the business of funding research anyway.

After all, the only things we need as a society are things that CEOs can profit off of, right? Or will corporations sink money into research with no immediately-obvious profit potential?


Apparently he sees no irony at all in posting this comment on the internet.
2013-05-04 03:57:58 AM  
2 votes:

fusillade762: Here guys, I'll save you the trouble (though the draft is only 2 pages long):

[i39.tinypic.com image 471x552]

"Finest quality", "Ground breaking", "Utmost importance"? How does anyone get away with trying to pass a law with such vague-ass language?


I fear it may be code.

"Finest quality" = "intelligently designed"
"Ground breaking" = "fits with the latest rebranding"
"Utmost importance" = "high potential for kickbacks"
2013-05-04 03:00:16 AM  
2 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: The government shouldn't be in the business of funding research anyway.


So who exactly should be funding basic research in your opinion?  The tooth fairy?
2013-05-04 02:55:51 AM  
2 votes:
Sounds about like what I would expect from a defanged head crab.
2013-05-04 02:43:02 AM  
2 votes:
It's funny how much Republicans mirror Communists. They have their own huge propaganda network in Fox News and co., Presidents and presidential candidates who make the Party look bad are basically ignored, other Presidents are elevated to near-legendary status, they attempt to force their political system onto other nations because it's CLEARLY the best....

Like I said, funny.
2013-05-04 01:55:44 AM  
2 votes:
Eppur si vitun muove, saatana!!
2013-05-04 01:08:40 AM  
2 votes:
fta If the findings are not agreed to, the research is taken from the researchers and disposed of by Congress as it sees fit.

On the side wall of everyone's cubicle will be an oblong slit protected by a wire grating. Inside will be a current of warm air.
2013-05-04 12:15:01 PM  
1 votes:

Mrtraveler01: Not if you want to approve funding just for the projects that you agree with.


photogenic analysis and evolutionary history elucidation placing dinosaurs in same geological era as Jesus, calculated at under 6,000 years using multiple modern molecular clock methods, divergence estimation models.
2013-05-04 12:07:20 PM  
1 votes:
Sounds like Lamar Smith has taken an aromatic interest in Louie Gohmert's farts.
2013-05-04 11:50:18 AM  
1 votes:
the majority of research is done with federal tax dollars??


i'm smelling some serious socialism in that one.  where are all those republican socialism haters??????  hummmmm.
2013-05-04 11:40:50 AM  
1 votes:

Shaggy_C: Harbinger of the Doomed Rat: Ah, so you definitely don't understand science funding. You could have just said that from the beginning, you know.

You're right; I forgot that most scientists live as paupers.  The money they receive from grants is used in their experiments, normally as fuel for the Bunsen burners, though sometimes they also place stacks of hundred dollar bills in different liquids like sulfuric acid or liquid nitrogen.


If there's a point you're trying to make here, it's getting lost in the sarcasm.
2013-05-04 11:26:50 AM  
1 votes:

Infinite Monkeys In Front Of A Computer: I'd rather see all legislation be reviewed by the scientific community.


no we gave it to the Chinese grad. student. she's now using it to build a better China. happy?
2013-05-04 11:21:51 AM  
1 votes:

Mrtraveler01: How is having a meeting with a committee to come up with some vague metric going to make any difference?


One could ask the same about any hearing, really.  The vaguely-worded bill is a concern, of course; but I'm not opposed to having recipients of government grants defend their use of those grants before the legislature.  If you're making a living on the taxpayer's dime, the taxpayer's representatives have a duty to ensure you're using those funds appropriately.  I don't think anyone here would have a problem if this same this process were occurring with regards to other contracts with the government; maybe it's just because it is research that we are all up in arms, which, while reasonable because, after all, it is Texas, is starting us down the path of a bit of a 'slippery slope' argument is it not?
2013-05-04 10:46:33 AM  
1 votes:
I haven't gotten physical with anyone for maybe 30 years but I would love to punch that POS bastard in the head repeatedly.
2013-05-04 10:37:26 AM  
1 votes:

s2s2s2: Epoch_Zero: s2s2s2: Maybe this is intended to scare people away from seeking government funding, thus reducing the size of government?

Your tacit approval of this sort of thing is noted.

You have a well developed ability to infer humor implied.

Comments from Epoch_Zero will now appear in Idiotic Yellow.


Funny. I have you Farkied in Sh*t Brown


/wonder why
2013-05-04 10:13:37 AM  
1 votes:

TheMysteriousStranger: The bill says research should not duplicate other research.

I guess Lamar Smith (CCCP-TX) has never heard of replication and independent verification.  If anything there should be more duplication than there currently is.


Well, that's how that influential paper on national debt/austerity vs. growth got debunked, and they can't be having that happen.
2013-05-04 09:56:48 AM  
1 votes:

fusillade762: Here guys, I'll save you the trouble (though the draft is only 2 pages long):

[i39.tinypic.com image 471x552]

"Finest quality", "Ground breaking", "Utmost importance"? How does anyone get away with trying to pass a law with such vague-ass language?



Meh...it's been done.

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."
2013-05-04 09:42:10 AM  
1 votes:

m3000: Thanks to Texas gerrymandering and splitting Austin up into 6 different districts, this asshat is my representative. I went from one of the most liberal house members (Lloyd Doggett) to the most derpiest without ever changing addresses back in 2010.

But all my letter writing and calling won't make a difference, since thanks to gerrymandering, the rest of his district will vote for him as long as he doesn't insult the Jesus. Our system is so farked up.


So slip an insult to Jesus into his teleprompter. Problem solved!
2013-05-04 09:30:47 AM  
1 votes:
I hear they determine quality by shredding the research, and putting it into a large vile with some liquid in it. If the mixture turns red, they drink it and become science. If it turns blue: Socialism. Pour it out.
2013-05-04 08:03:23 AM  
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: Mithiwithi: AverageAmericanGuy: Demanding that the entire nation pay up so some 23 year old can study the mating habits of high school graduates in a high-pressure academic environment is worse than demanding that we all pay up for socialized medicine. At least we all benefit from socialized medicine.

Yeah, and why even bother investigating, say, bacteria that don't cause human diseases? Especially if the petri dishes get contaminated with mold when you're away on vacation,

The government was frantically looking for a solution to the polio problem. Salk was being funded out of a pointed government effort to find a vaccine. That he discovered it accidentally is a bit of serendipity, but it wasn't because he was blindly funded to study the construction of handicraft ovum holders in aqueous solutions.


Hey, Asshole!  You are posting on forum that exists solely because the Government invested in a project that was run by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA)--bolding the part about research should give you a clue.

You are healthy enough to post solely because of Government research into vaccines, food stuff, and other medical "miracles" that did not exist 100 years ago.

I could go on, but just suffice it to say that hopefully in the near future, Government research will eliminate the stupidity that you and your ilk seem to suffer from, so that future Farkers do not have to experience the discomfort, nausea and disgust that comes from reading your poorly thought-out and just plain ignorant remarks.
2013-05-04 04:49:26 AM  
1 votes:
Wow, Texas.  Just wow. Your elected representatives suck.
2013-05-04 03:31:15 AM  
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: Demanding that the entire nation pay up so some 23 year old can study the mating habits of high school graduates in a high-pressure academic environment is worse than demanding that we all pay up for socialized medicine. At least we all benefit from socialized medicine.


Yeah, and why even bother investigating, say, bacteria that don't cause human diseases? Especially if the petri dishes get contaminated with mold when you're away on vacation,
2013-05-04 03:23:05 AM  
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: ucfknightryan: AverageAmericanGuy: The government shouldn't be in the business of funding research anyway.

So who exactly should be funding basic research in your opinion?  The tooth fairy?

If a student is dead set on investigating a topic, then he should pay for the chance to research it. If a school feels that such research is worthwhile, the school ought to provide additional funds to allow the student to see the research to fruition. Those funds can come from tuition, private grants, alumni endowments, partnerships with business, or bake sales, if that's what it takes to raise those funds.

Demanding that the entire nation pay up so some 23 year old can study the mating habits of high school graduates in a high-pressure academic environment is worse than demanding that we all pay up for socialized medicine. At least we all benefit from socialized medicine.


That is so full of stupid... I dont even... Poes Law?... Troll... Its starting to burn!
2013-05-04 03:20:34 AM  
1 votes:
Inquisitors and apparatchiks implementing their progrom, that is all, comrade citizen. In order to prove, once and for all, that `big' government is the enemy, they throw wrecking bars into the turbines and then, when the lights start going out, blame the `regulations; of Big Government for the blackout.

If any of this shiat actually made it past the `nuisance' stage, just who did Smith appoint to chair the Science Subcommittee on Investigations and Oversight?  Why, Rep. Broun, of course.  You remember:

All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and Big Bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of hell.

/only thing that would improve my outlook on these two would be their commitment to testing their research hypothesis on the existence of heaven by eating their NRA issued side arms immediately
//peer reviews? anyone??
2013-05-04 03:20:18 AM  
1 votes:

ucfknightryan: AverageAmericanGuy: The government shouldn't be in the business of funding research anyway.

So who exactly should be funding basic research in your opinion?  The tooth fairy?


If a student is dead set on investigating a topic, then he should pay for the chance to research it. If a school feels that such research is worthwhile, the school ought to provide additional funds to allow the student to see the research to fruition. Those funds can come from tuition, private grants, alumni endowments, partnerships with business, or bake sales, if that's what it takes to raise those funds.

Demanding that the entire nation pay up so some 23 year old can study the mating habits of high school graduates in a high-pressure academic environment is worse than demanding that we all pay up for socialized medicine. At least we all benefit from socialized medicine.
2013-05-04 03:20:08 AM  
1 votes:
The party of small government, ladies and gentlemen!
2013-05-04 03:17:26 AM  
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: The government shouldn't be in the business of funding research anyway.


It takes someone who received a SPECIAL brand of EDUCATION to make a comment that enlightened.
2013-05-04 03:11:34 AM  
1 votes:

Zeppelininthesky: Why is this farkstick in charge of anything having to do with sciencepossession of his own skin?


This is what tarring and feathering were made for.
2013-05-04 02:58:41 AM  
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: The government shouldn't be in the business of funding research anyway.


and research universities should be defunded. All those graduate students are wasting their time and should get real jobs in the food services.
2013-05-04 02:53:50 AM  
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: The government shouldn't be in the business of funding research anyway.


After all, the only things we need as a society are things that CEOs can profit off of, right? Or will corporations sink money into research with no immediately-obvious profit potential?
2013-05-04 02:30:51 AM  
1 votes:
Its the party of "small" government at it again.

i.qkme.me
2013-05-04 02:30:46 AM  
1 votes:
WTF? this bill needs to die so fast it catches fire.
2013-05-04 02:10:29 AM  
1 votes:
Why is this farkstick in charge of anything having to do with science?
2013-05-04 02:01:16 AM  
1 votes:

skullkrusher: brichter: When future historians are autopsying the corpse of the american empire, I think this kind of thing is going to be very interesting.

People blindly accepting claims that an article makes without actually reading what it refers to?


you're right, the article was inaccurate.  They just have to approve that the research follows the board's political agenda BEFORE instead of after.

That's way better.
 
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