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(BroBible) Video How to eat an apple. Yes, you've been doing it wrong   (brobible.com) divider line 78
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8525 clicks; posted to Video » on 03 May 2013 at 6:26 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-03 05:12:52 PM  
I feel filthy, like I need a long hot shower.

I should have expected that clicking on a link labeled "Bro Bible."

Also, I've forgotten the famous pithy quote (and the source) about the only two reasons to wear a baseball cap backwards being if you're giving out blowjobs or..gah this is going to drive me batty.
 
2013-05-03 05:22:22 PM  
So he ate the core?  And I'm doing it wrong, not him?  I don't care if you start eating at the bottom, top, or somewhere in between.  The core is not made for eating.
 
2013-05-03 05:24:07 PM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: So he ate the core?  And I'm doing it wrong, not him?  I don't care if you start eating at the bottom, top, or somewhere in between.  The core is not made for eating.


Well, you'll get your fiber for the day.  I used to eat peanuts with the shells, and the day after it was like a piston clearing out the system.
 
2013-05-03 05:30:08 PM  
I thought we did this yesterday.

Only a moron eats the apple core.
 
2013-05-03 05:30:45 PM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: The core is not made for eating


Most horses would beg to differ, but then they're morons.
 
2013-05-03 05:39:44 PM  

brap: only two reasons to wear a baseball cap backwards being if you're giving out blowjobs or...


you're a catcher and the bill gets in the way of your facemask?

That doesn't sound very pithy to me.
 
2013-05-03 05:49:06 PM  
Meh, slice that biatch up, take out the small core/seeds, enjoy the whole apple.
 
2013-05-03 05:55:34 PM  
Ehhh, you can keep your core and your seeds with their tiny concentrations of cyanide.

ab.wsimgs.com
 
2013-05-03 06:10:02 PM  
It is rare, but if an apple seed takes root in the wall of your stomach, an apple tree will begin to grow there and literally rip you apart from the inside as it becomes larger. My friend's cousin's aunt knew a guy who grew up with someone whose friend had it happen. Don't do this.
 
2013-05-03 06:23:05 PM  
www.ascasonline.org Simple, yet elegant...

/that link was stupid.  what about the little thing on the bottom?
 
2013-05-03 06:31:16 PM  

Torgo_of_Manos: [www.ascasonline.org image 677x550] Simple, yet elegant...

/that link was stupid.  what about the little thing on the bottom?


Have one of these.. always. As soon as it starts to rust, in the trash and get a new one.
 
2013-05-03 06:34:40 PM  

nmrsnr: brap: only two reasons to wear a baseball cap backwards being if you're giving out blowjobs or...

you're a catcher and the bill gets in the way of your facemask?

That doesn't sound very pithy to me.


Also imperative if you ride a motorcycle
 
2013-05-03 06:37:58 PM  
No.
 
2013-05-03 06:46:28 PM  
Hey Fark admins, I've got this idea.  Let's link to the original YouTube video instead of some random blog.  As a bonus, at least that way the video will play in the Fark Video Player and readers won't even lead the site.  If you must insist on linking to a blog, how about linking to the blog that actually made the video in the first place?
 
2013-05-03 06:55:00 PM  

Pocket Ninja: It is rare, but if an apple seed takes root in the wall of your stomach, an apple tree will begin to grow there and literally rip you apart from the inside as it becomes larger. My friend's cousin's aunt knew a guy who grew up with someone whose friend had it happen. Don't do this.


It's true, my cousin's mother-in-law had a nephew that lost a friend to this.  Tragic, but the tree's still there, and the fruit makes the most biatchin' dutch apple pies.
 
2013-05-03 06:56:56 PM  
It's OK to discard 30% of the apple. After all, it's biodegradable.
 
2013-05-03 06:56:59 PM  

Torgo_of_Manos: [www.ascasonline.org image 677x550] Simple, yet elegant...

/that link was stupid.  what about the little thing on the bottom?


Came here for this.
 
2013-05-03 06:58:18 PM  

DeltaPunch: It's OK to discard 30% of the apple. After all, it's biodegradable.


And sustainable. If everyone eats the seeds, no more trees!
 
2013-05-03 07:04:00 PM  
This is bad and everyone involved should feel bad.
 
2013-05-03 07:04:41 PM  

nmrsnr: brap: only two reasons to wear a baseball cap backwards being if you're giving out blowjobs or...

you're a catcher and the bill gets in the way of your facemask?

That doesn't sound very pithy to me.


Catcherth aren't very pithy.  The pitcherth are uthually the oneth who get pithy.  And thometimeth the thortthopth.
 
2013-05-03 07:05:38 PM  

FloydA: nmrsnr: brap: only two reasons to wear a baseball cap backwards being if you're giving out blowjobs or...

you're a catcher and the bill gets in the way of your facemask?

That doesn't sound very pithy to me.

Catcherth aren't very pithy.  The pitcherth are uthually the oneth who get pithy.  And thometimeth the thortthopth.


Okay, I chuckled. +1
 
2013-05-03 07:36:00 PM  
Everybody knows that apple corers suck and are for little kids.

The correct way to core an apple is to slice it in half and remove the core with the small end of a melon baller.

learnrawfood.com
 
2013-05-03 07:43:52 PM  
cdn1.hark.com
Can it core a apple?
 
2013-05-03 07:53:36 PM  

HairBolus: Everybody knows that apple corers suck and are for little kids.

The correct way to core an apple is to slice it in half and remove the core with the small end of a melon baller.

[learnrawfood.com image 300x300]


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-03 08:02:03 PM  
Apple fanboys
 
2013-05-03 08:17:26 PM  

Torgo_of_Manos: [www.ascasonline.org image 677x550] Simple, yet elegant...

/that link was stupid.  what about the little thing on the bottom?


Yeah, theres no way I'm eating the anus of the apple. I'd like to think I'm eating only the tasty parts; the stem, anus and core can go to hell.
 
2013-05-03 08:29:08 PM  
That whole site is a horseapple of fail.
 
2013-05-03 09:11:02 PM  

Timmy the Tumor: Ehhh, you can keep your core and your seeds with their tiny concentrations of cyanide.

[ab.wsimgs.com image 485x485]


Oh, I think I have something like that lying around!  Will this work?
img.alibaba.com
 
2013-05-03 09:37:08 PM  

ShawnDoc: Hey Fark admins, I've got this idea.  Let's link to the original YouTube video instead of some random blog.  As a bonus, at least that way the video will play in the Fark Video Player and readers won't even lead the site.  If you must insist on linking to a blog, how about linking to the blog that actually made the video in the first place?


That's not how Fark works. If there's a website they can promote, either for money or for favors, they'll send the clicks somewhere. It's better than google always getting all the ad revenue. Or like you said about the original blog, maybe Fark doesn't like that blog.
 
2013-05-03 09:54:57 PM  

FloydA: nmrsnr: brap: only two reasons to wear a baseball cap backwards being if you're giving out blowjobs or...

you're a catcher and the bill gets in the way of your facemask?

That doesn't sound very pithy to me.


Catcherth aren't very pithy.  The pitcherth are uthually the oneth who get pithy.  And thometimeth the thortthopth.


[thpitth theedth]
 
2013-05-03 10:33:51 PM  
I like to use one of these.

www.pastrychef.com

cariluna.com

The fun part is shouting questions at the apple in a bad German accent while using it.
 
2013-05-03 10:39:29 PM  

ShawnDoc: Hey Fark admins, I've got this idea.  Let's link to the original YouTube video instead of some random blog.  As a bonus, at least that way the video will play in the Fark Video Player and readers won't even lead the site.  If you must insist on linking to a blog, how about linking to the blog that actually made the video in the first place?


Diva Alert
 
2013-05-03 10:40:09 PM  

Kittypie070: FloydA: nmrsnr: brap: only two reasons to wear a baseball cap backwards being if you're giving out blowjobs or...

you're a catcher and the bill gets in the way of your facemask?

That doesn't sound very pithy to me.

Catcherth aren't very pithy.  The pitcherth are uthually the oneth who get pithy.  And thometimeth the thortthopth.

[thpitth theedth]


Oh I get it, because baseball is gay.
 
2013-05-03 10:46:23 PM  

Gordon Bennett: I like to use one of these.

[www.pastrychef.com image 350x350]

[cariluna.com image 500x385]

The fun part is shouting questions at the apple in a bad German accent while using it.


20 lbs of apples to make 3 institutional pans of AppleCrisp for a church thing.
Holy crap my arm was tired, but it would have been worse doing it by hand.
\csb
 
2013-05-03 10:51:39 PM  

Dr.Zom: That whole site is a horseapple of fail.


Do you want to know how I know you're a city slicker?

/arabians are the best
//you're a liar if you disagree
///and your penis is small
 
2013-05-03 11:14:08 PM  

Gordon Bennett: I like to use one of these.

[www.pastrychef.com image 350x350]

[cariluna.com image 500x385]

The fun part is shouting questions at the apple in a bad German accent while using it.


But the skin is the best part!

Does that work on potatoes?
 
2013-05-03 11:28:05 PM  

Principal Clarinet: [cdn1.hark.com image 304x240]
Can it core a apple?


He's zipping the modern way!
 
2013-05-03 11:30:46 PM  
The fact that they picked red "delicious" apples is more disgustingly gross than eating the core.
 
2013-05-03 11:37:26 PM  
It has been 30+ years since I ate an apple, ever since I found out I'm allergic to the bastards.
 
2013-05-03 11:38:18 PM  

Lsherm: Gordon Bennett: I like to use one of these.

[www.pastrychef.com image 350x350]

[cariluna.com image 500x385]

The fun part is shouting questions at the apple in a bad German accent while using it.

But the skin is the best part!

Does that work on potatoes?


wat
 
2013-05-03 11:45:04 PM  
Pick it up and eat it, stop when it tastes like it isn't worth eating.
 
2013-05-04 12:06:50 AM  

Gordon Bennett: I like to use one of these.

[www.pastrychef.com image 350x350]

[cariluna.com image 500x385]

The fun part is shouting questions at the apple in a bad German accent while using it.


I've seen something similar to that on the intawebz...

i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-04 12:18:03 AM  
I used to use one of those fancy apple slicers, now I just chop it a few times and drop it in the blender with a banana and some ice like nature intended.
 
2013-05-04 12:19:53 AM  

Kittypie070: FloydA: nmrsnr: brap: only two reasons to wear a baseball cap backwards being if you're giving out blowjobs or...

you're a catcher and the bill gets in the way of your facemask?

That doesn't sound very pithy to me.

Catcherth aren't very pithy.  The pitcherth are uthually the oneth who get pithy.  And thometimeth the thortthopth.

[thpitth theedth]


Kith me, you theductreth!  Theduthe me with your thenthuality and feminine whileth!
 
2013-05-04 12:23:00 AM  
That seemed very French..
 
2013-05-04 12:24:37 AM  

jaylectricity: Kittypie070: FloydA: nmrsnr: brap: only two reasons to wear a baseball cap backwards being if you're giving out blowjobs or...

you're a catcher and the bill gets in the way of your facemask?

That doesn't sound very pithy to me.

Catcherth aren't very pithy.  The pitcherth are uthually the oneth who get pithy.  And thometimeth the thortthopth.

[thpitth theedth]

Oh I get it, because baseball is gay.


Um...what?

I honestly don't understand what you mean.  Please clarify.  What makes baseball gay?  Is this some pun about "pitchers and catchers" that I missed?  I don't get it.  Sorry.  That one went over my head.
 
2013-05-04 12:34:07 AM  
Stay tuned for his next instructional video where he eats a banana without peeling it.
 
2013-05-04 12:49:09 AM  

Gordon Bennett: I like to use one of these.

[www.pastrychef.com image 350x350]

[cariluna.com image 500x385]

The fun part is shouting questions at the apple in a bad German accent while using it.


Okay, I'm in Germany, it's about 0645 on Saturday, the house is semi-dark and still very quiet. I laughed way too loud at that. Well done! My wife has one of those...I'm so never seeing her use it again without yelling questions in German at the apple! HA!
 
2013-05-04 12:55:35 AM  

FloydA: nmrsnr: brap: only two reasons to wear a baseball cap backwards being if you're giving out blowjobs or...

you're a catcher and the bill gets in the way of your facemask?

That doesn't sound very pithy to me.

Catcherth aren't very pithy.  The pitcherth are uthually the oneth who get pithy.  And thometimeth the thortthopth.


HAHAHAHAH

Damn I needed that, thanks FloydA.
 
2013-05-04 12:58:15 AM  

ChileanGhostPrepper: I used to use one of those fancy apple slicers, now I just chop it a few times and drop it in the blender with a banana and some ice frozen blueberries and strawberries like nature intended.

 
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