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(Uproxx)   "What is so funny about calling me 'F*ckface Von Clownstick'?" -- Donald Trump   (uproxx.com) divider line 105
    More: Amusing, Donald Trump, birth name  
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11439 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 May 2013 at 6:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



105 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-05-03 07:14:05 PM
The name is still making me giggle. It's like DJ F*ckknuckle and the Outlaws of Word Processing.
 
2013-05-03 07:16:15 PM
Trump:

Rather than explain the joke to you, how about I simply give you a bit of advice?
It would be wise not to act like a pompous assnugget and make snide remarks about a very popular comedian who spends a good 75% of his show making fun of people. Chances are if you make a dicky comment about *his* name, he'll toss another dicky comment right back at ya.

Let it go. His talent for making someone look like a douche coupled with your natural proficiency to be one is a dangerous combination.
 
2013-05-03 07:23:37 PM

Fuggin Bizzy: Stewart: "F**kface von Clownstick!"
von Clownstick: "Jew!"

??

I'll play too. Uh...cheese? Fish? Cheese fishia



titty fish
 
2013-05-03 07:24:05 PM

Mentat: I think this is pretty hypocritical since Stewart won't even use his real name.  Yes, we know your name is actually Earl Stewart.


He dropped the Lethbridge. He didn't want any favortism.
 
2013-05-03 07:27:14 PM
I love when trump gets in twitter spats like this, he always goes "I don't understand x, you guys are dumb", and it just fuels the fire, and makes look like a bigger man-child the deeper he digs

/trump, one of the biggest, worst trolls out there, feeds his own kind, makes it worse for himself
 
2013-05-03 07:28:26 PM

Triumph: cameroncrazy1984: There is nothing about this that isn't funny.

Except that Trump is momentarily succeeding at being the center of attention, which is ALL he cares about.


As long as it's negative attention, I don't give a sh*t. Give that guy all the negative attention he deserves.
 
2013-05-03 07:28:36 PM

Donald Trumps Hair: I don't find it funny. Honestly, I find it rude.


Well at least he wasn't making fun of YOU this time.
 
2013-05-03 07:29:18 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: Until he produces a birth certificate (long-form only, please) showing that his name ISN'T Farkface Von Clownstick, I have no choice but to believe that he's hiding something...


"Whar the birth certificate Farkface Von Clownstick, whar?!"

This is hilarious. His ego is so big that he just can't ignore this thing thus making it twice as hilarious.
 
2013-05-03 07:29:49 PM
It's really not fair to call him that. I doubt he has any Austrian heritage.
 
2013-05-03 07:30:32 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Three Crooked Squirrels: Yes, he was born Farkface Von Clownstick, but who can deny that he is the classiest Farkface Von Clownstick to ever walk the face of the earth?

F*ckface Von Clownstick I had a better rug

/well, actually it was a live beaver
//still looked better


farkface von Clownstick?  Yes I think it's wrong to call him farkface von Clownstick.


farkface von Clownstick.
 
2013-05-03 07:30:57 PM

netringer: Donald Trump keeps calling people "overrated."

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 259x194]


I'm glad someone else noticed the HUGE irony
 
2013-05-03 07:34:45 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: "What is so funny about calling me 'F*ckface Von Clownstick'?"

Elvis Costello was right to reject this as a song title.


I laughed out loud but that was a Nick Lowe song.  Credit where credit is due...
 
2013-05-03 07:44:43 PM

brap: I still prefer  Spy Magazine's Trump moniker of "Thick-Fingered Vulgarian" but I'm a classicist.


Agreed, actually. The whole thing amuses me, but I have to wonder who on the staff thought such a simple school-yard name was the way to go. Surely someone had a wittier submission...

*cough*
/waits

I said 'SURELY SOMEONE HAD A WITTIER SUBMISSION'...
 
2013-05-03 07:46:28 PM
i208.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-03 07:49:50 PM

F*ckface Von Clownsticks Hair: I don't find it funny. Honestly, I find it rude.


FTFY
 
2013-05-03 07:53:39 PM

Potter82: This is hilarious. His ego is so big that he just can't ignore this thing thus making it twice as hilarious.


Yes, yes, use your ego!  Make this thing 10 times bigger!
 
2013-05-03 08:02:11 PM
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
Dang-how many Trump threads are there?
 
2013-05-03 08:05:03 PM
F*ckface Von Clownstick is funny but I think you can make it even funnier if you incorporate something about the hair.

F*ckface Von Wigmaster
Hairhat Von F*ckstick
F*ckface Von Nohair
Squirrelhead Von F*ckface III
 
2013-05-03 08:08:26 PM

Krieghund: F*ckface Von Clownsticks Hair: I don't find it funny. Honestly, I find it rude.

FTFY


Nice.
 
2013-05-03 08:15:18 PM
I'm going with "Captain Comb-over".
 
2013-05-03 08:44:28 PM
I betcha the "Von" is what's hanging him up. The Don has always been sheepish about his German ancestry, as was his father, who basically made bank selling real estate to Jews after WW2.
 
2013-05-03 08:59:13 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Mentat: I think this is pretty hypocritical since Stewart won't even use his real name.  Yes, we know your name is actually Earl Stewart.

He dropped the Lethbridge. He didn't want any favortism.


Approves:
sciencefiction.com
 
2013-05-03 09:03:22 PM

netringer: Donald Trump keeps calling people "overrated."

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 259x194]


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-03 09:03:46 PM
Is there a way to do a sort of highly abridged version of Google Translate?  What I'd like to do is have a page that automatically translates any page I look at, but the only translation being to auto-replace "Donald Trump" with "F*ckface Von Clownstick."
 
2013-05-03 09:15:44 PM
F*ckface Von Clownstick Tower isn't going to fit on the marquee.
 
2013-05-03 09:19:28 PM

Donald Trumps Hair: I don't find it funny. Honestly, I find it rude.


We'll find you a new scalp. It's cool
 
2013-05-03 09:30:25 PM
A friend in college walked into a party where a gentleman who tended to be quite witty when he was on some combination of illegal substance and large quantities of alcohol (real, not imagined wit) was on a roll giving people their 'superhero nicknames'...

My friend was quite a standout when he walked into a room - 6'7", ... rangy build (big hands). The chicka that was throwing the party saw him walk into the room, squealed, ran and grabbed his arm, and dragged him to the center of the room to have his new 'name' conferred upon him.

The gentleman gave him a onceover look and proclaimed that he was:
'Pin Dick the Bird F*cker'.

/women tended to avoid him at parties for a few months afterwards... poor bastage; but the name was seared into his soul forever.
 
2013-05-03 09:30:57 PM
assets.nydailynews.com

Whenever I see him I think of this line from The Grapes of Wrath: "Little mean eyes and a mouth like an asshole."
 
2013-05-03 09:31:15 PM

red5ish: Kittypie070: Onions make cats farty.

Onions contain a substance (N-propyl disulphide) which destroys red blood cells in the cat, causing a form of anemia called Heinz body anemia.


Ew! I had no idea.

Donald Trumps Hair 2013-05-03 06:54:49 PM
I don't find it funny. Honestly, I find it rude.

[offers the hairy brain-eating thingy some tasty onions]
 
2013-05-03 09:32:38 PM
I just took to calling him The Dump but if you wanna go for comedy...
 
2013-05-03 09:38:31 PM

Iknhaton: skinink: brap: I still prefer Spy Magazine's Trump moniker of "Thick-Fingered Vulgarian" but I'm a classicist.

Actually it's Short Fingered Vulgarian, but either way works. Even back then he was a paper billionaire.

God, I miss Spy. I remember when its flag few over Union Square.

Please remove yourself from my lawn.


Came for this, since I'm not enough of a wealthy layabout to be taking part in the Pro-Am Ironman Nightlife Decathlon.
 
2013-05-03 09:50:18 PM

CigaretteSmokingMan: Whenever I see him I think of this line from The Grapes of Wrath: "Little mean eyes and a mouth like an asshole."


This.
 
2013-05-03 10:11:31 PM

Shadowtag: I just took to calling him The Dump but if you wanna go for comedy...


No need to slander a  respectable furniture store by comparing it to Donald Trump

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-03 10:15:52 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Triumph: cameroncrazy1984: There is nothing about this that isn't funny.

Except that Trump is momentarily succeeding at being the center of attention, which is ALL he cares about.

As long as it's negative attention, I don't give a sh*t. Give that guy all the negative attention he deserves.


All his attention is negative. Every last bit of it. When's the last time you read something about Trump and thought, "what a great guy"? He's got a show about idiots groveling before an asshole. He doesn't care if his press is bad. All he cares is that he is constantly in the news and he is.
 
2013-05-03 10:24:19 PM

Cyberluddite: Mark my words--if Stewart doesn't stop making fun of Trump, there's going to be hell toupee.


I can't stop giggling over this. I literally lol'd.
 
2013-05-03 10:28:56 PM

red5ish: Kittypie070: Onions make cats farty.

Onions contain a substance (N-propyl disulphide) which destroys red blood cells in the cat, causing a form of anemia calledHeinz body anemia.


Wow I learned something neat today, thanks!
 
2013-05-03 10:29:11 PM

teeny: It would be wise not to act like a pompous assnugget and make snide remarks about a very popular comedian who spends a good 75% of his show making fun of people.


Plus he has a team of top-notch comedy writers at his beck and call. Not the guy you want to trade cracks with in public.
 
2013-05-03 10:42:51 PM

mccallcl: teeny: It would be wise not to act like a pompous assnugget and make snide remarks about a very popular comedian who spends a good 75% of his show making fun of people.

Plus he has a team of top-notch comedy writers at his beck and call. Not the guy you want to trade cracks with in public.


And Trump tends to respond to these things by just being vindictive and trying to say something hurtful.  For example, this is how he responded to Seth Meyers' roasting of him at the 2011 White House Correspondent's Dinner:

"I thought Seth Meyers -- his delivery frankly was not good," Trump says. "He's a stutterer."

No attempt at humor, no attempt to laugh it off, just a really ham-fisted attempt to belittle and take down Meyers.  He's the schoolyard bully who cries like a biatch when someone actually does take a swing at him.
 
2013-05-03 11:18:03 PM
Suddenly, the thought,

'Yeesh, what the hell did I do to Jon Stewart to deserve this?'

occurs to f*ckfaces, clowns, and sticks all across the world.
 
2013-05-03 11:43:19 PM
Well, the thing is, Donny-boy, that you're a f*ckface, right, and also a clownstick.  The funny part is the Von.
 
2013-05-04 12:26:24 AM
I lol'ed.
 
2013-05-04 12:33:54 AM

ItchyMcDoogle: Mentat: I think this is pretty hypocritical since Stewart won't even use his real name.  Yes, we know your name is actually Earl Stewart.

Actually Stewart did address that with some tweets of his own that add to the already comedy gold that this has become

http://www.salon.com/2013/05/03/jon_stewart_trolls_donald_trump/


And of course, the picture at the bottom is this:

i1282.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-04 12:50:38 AM

skinink: brap: I still prefer  Spy Magazine's Trump moniker of "Thick-Fingered Vulgarian" but I'm a classicist.

Actually it's Short Fingered Vulgarian, but either way works. Even back then he was a paper billionaire.


Actually I think you're wrong but at the time I was so hopped up on poverty that a magazine perfume strip used to send me into a two-week delusional huff daze. So what the fark do I know outside of "everone's a critic."
 
2013-05-04 01:17:43 AM
I just want the Ivanka in lingerie pics, okay? farkface von Clownstick can worry about his own problems. The world needs more pics of his semi-hot daughter scantily clad.
 
2013-05-04 01:42:02 AM

Cyberluddite: Mark my words--if Stewart doesn't stop making fun of Trump, there's going to be hell toupee.


I used that for a headline once for Donald Trump that didn't go green. -Honestly, I thought it was kinda funny.
 
2013-05-04 03:42:37 AM
There is a rumor going around that The Donald is a hybrid of a human and a newly discovered poisonous caterpillar:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=XBoAwg29CgI
 
2013-05-04 03:58:45 AM
cdn.uproxx.com
 
2013-05-04 05:43:18 AM

Gabrielmot: Cyberluddite: Mark my words--if Stewart doesn't stop making fun of Trump, there's going to be hell toupee.

I used that for a headline once for Donald Trump that didn't go green. -Honestly, I thought it was kinda funny.


I concur, +1 for both of you.

Current headline has a nice simplicity, though...
 
2013-05-04 05:48:35 AM

Apos: What isn't funny about it, Toupee King?


I laughed just by reading it.
 
2013-05-04 06:03:16 AM

red5ish: Onions contain a substance (N-propyl disulphide) which destroys red blood cells in the cat, causing a form of anemia calledHeinz body anemia.


So you're saying that onions make Heinz cat soup?
 
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