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(Telegraph)   History Channel asks artist to depict what historical figures would have looked today, using the best Photoshop techniques since Iran's last missile test   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 68
    More: Amusing, photoshop, Iran, Henry VIII, historical figure, digital artist, vice admirals, Victoria Cross  
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7627 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 02 May 2013 at 11:01 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-02 09:57:23 AM  
Henry VIII is the worst of the lot but at least Elizabeth I ends up being Helen Mirren, so it's a decent trade.
 
2013-05-02 10:07:22 AM  

brigid_fitch: Henry VIII is the worst of the lot but at least Elizabeth I ends up being Helen Mirren, so it's a decent trade.


Yeah, apparently the artist watched too much of The Tudors instead of remembering that Henry VIII could barely fit into his custom-made armor toward the end of his days.
 
2013-05-02 10:10:18 AM  
i.telegraph.co.uk

Also, Helen Mirren? No way, it's Tilda Swinton:
momgrind.com
 
2013-05-02 10:11:13 AM  
In fact, I'm sure that picture of Tilda Swinton is where the "artist" got the hair.
 
2013-05-02 10:13:13 AM  

RexTalionis: In fact, I'm sure that picture of Tilda Swinton is where the "artist" got the hair.


The truth. He doth speaketh it.
 
2013-05-02 10:19:10 AM  
So, Shakespeare is a hipster?
 
2013-05-02 10:31:26 AM  

RexTalionis: brigid_fitch: Henry VIII is the worst of the lot but at least Elizabeth I ends up being Helen Mirren, so it's a decent trade.

Yeah, apparently the artist watched too much of The Tudors instead of remembering that Henry VIII could barely fit into his custom-made armor toward the end of his days.


Carrying extra weight in those days didn't have the social stigma it has today.  Some wealthy people and even the gentry, if they could afford to have a good portrait painted, would have the artist pack on a few extra pounds to give an appearance of a man who could afford to live in luxury.  If he really was that vain, he probably would conform to modern ideas of masculinity.
 
2013-05-02 10:36:28 AM  

Nabb1: RexTalionis: brigid_fitch: Henry VIII is the worst of the lot but at least Elizabeth I ends up being Helen Mirren, so it's a decent trade.

Yeah, apparently the artist watched too much of The Tudors instead of remembering that Henry VIII could barely fit into his custom-made armor toward the end of his days.

Carrying extra weight in those days didn't have the social stigma it has today.  Some wealthy people and even the gentry, if they could afford to have a good portrait painted, would have the artist pack on a few extra pounds to give an appearance of a man who could afford to live in luxury.  If he really was that vain, he probably would conform to modern ideas of masculinity.


Yes, but this series is on "how historical figures would have looked today" and not "what they would've wanted their commissioned paintings to look like today."

farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2013-05-02 10:50:44 AM  
RexTalionis: Yes, but this series is on "how historical figures would have looked today" and not "what they would've wanted their commissioned paintings to look like today."

[farm3.static.flickr.com image 681x1024]


What I am saying is that I think Henry VIII probably would not let himself get so fat these days if he were very self-conscious about his appearance.
 
2013-05-02 10:54:07 AM  
Shakespeare would have been a douche bag?
 
2013-05-02 10:57:50 AM  
I've seen better 'shops in Fark contests.
 
2013-05-02 10:57:55 AM  

RexTalionis: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 850x532]

Also, Helen Mirren? No way, it's Tilda Swinton:
[momgrind.com image 450x486]


Yes, definitely Tilda Swinton.  Got them confused somehow.

/Really, I meant Tilda Swinton
 
2013-05-02 11:04:33 AM  
Didn't Tilda Swinton already play QEI?

That's cheating.

Here's what Abraham Lincoln would look like if here were alive today:

inothernewz.com

And here's a hip and modern Yeshua of Nazareth-

images.zap2it.com

For a 5,000 year old man, the great Prophet Moses is looking pretty fantastic:

i2.cdn.turner.com
 
2013-05-02 11:06:55 AM  
Wouldn't most of them look like skeletons?
 
2013-05-02 11:08:28 AM  
The threads were cooler back in the day.
 
2013-05-02 11:12:39 AM  

RoyHobbs22: Wouldn't most of them look like skeletons?


Great minds.
 
2013-05-02 11:13:58 AM  

Nabb1: Carrying extra weight in those days didn't have the social stigma it has today.  Some wealthy people and even the gentry, if they could afford to have a good portrait painted, would have the artist pack on a few extra pounds to give an appearance of a man who could afford to live in luxury.


18th century "power paunches."
 
2013-05-02 11:14:07 AM  
Henry VIII wouldn't look much different.  He'd still be obese and diabetic.  With all the GMO foods we have today, he'd probably be stuffing himself on Twinkies and Zingers anyway.
 
2013-05-02 11:17:00 AM  

RexTalionis: Nabb1: RexTalionis: brigid_fitch: Henry VIII is the worst of the lot but at least Elizabeth I ends up being Helen Mirren, so it's a decent trade.

Yeah, apparently the artist watched too much of The Tudors instead of remembering that Henry VIII could barely fit into his custom-made armor toward the end of his days.

Carrying extra weight in those days didn't have the social stigma it has today.  Some wealthy people and even the gentry, if they could afford to have a good portrait painted, would have the artist pack on a few extra pounds to give an appearance of a man who could afford to live in luxury.  If he really was that vain, he probably would conform to modern ideas of masculinity.

Yes, but this series is on "how historical figures would have looked today" and not "what they would've wanted their commissioned paintings to look like today."

[farm3.static.flickr.com image 681x1024]


FTA: "Henry's vanity would have ensured he would have retained the naturally muscly, rugby-player type figure he had in his youth. "
 
2013-05-02 11:18:39 AM  
Christ those are awful, although 21st century Marie Antoinette has a nice rack.
 
2013-05-02 11:22:14 AM  
Henry VIII still looks like a douche.
 
2013-05-02 11:24:31 AM  

JerkStore: Christ those are awful, although 21st century Marie Antoinette has a nice rack.


Here's one of her going to the Bastille:
misseye.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-02 11:27:07 AM  
stevetherobot:

FTA: "Henry's vanity would have ensured he would have retained the naturally muscly, rugby-player type figure he had in his youth. "

HAHAHAHA

No.

He jousted, hunted, danced--and still packed on the weight. He was a big guy, with big appetites.
 
2013-05-02 11:30:29 AM  

brigid_fitch: Henry VIII is the worst of the lot


No. Marie Antoinette was.
 
2013-05-02 11:40:02 AM  
The Lord Nelson one and the Q.E.I. one were the only decent depictions.  The Henry VIII and the Shakespeare ones were a farking joke. That "artist" should be drawn and quartered for her crimes against art.
 
2013-05-02 11:41:53 AM  
Oh subby...
 
2013-05-02 11:42:36 AM  

radarlove: Didn't Tilda Swinton already play QEI?

That's cheating.

Here's what Abraham Lincoln would look like if here were alive today:

[inothernewz.com image 300x400]

And here's a hip and modern Yeshua of Nazareth-

[images.zap2it.com image 540x720]

For a 5,000 year old man, the great Prophet Moses is looking pretty fantastic:

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]


Hmmm.

I thought Yeshua looked like

www.aceshowbiz.com
 
2013-05-02 11:43:16 AM  
http://desli.de/RHN

Deslided if you don't want a slideshow.
 
2013-05-02 11:44:39 AM  

KatjaMouse: brigid_fitch: Henry VIII is the worst of the lot

No. Marie Antoinette was.


At least she got a boob job, so there's that.
 
2013-05-02 11:50:37 AM  

CaptSacto: I've seen better 'shops in Fark contests.


I think this needs to be a shop contest.  How does one re-submit a greened link?
 
2013-05-02 11:53:59 AM  

indarwinsshadow: radarlove: Didn't Tilda Swinton already play QEI?

That's cheating.

Here's what Abraham Lincoln would look like if here were alive today:

[inothernewz.com image 300x400]

And here's a hip and modern Yeshua of Nazareth-

[images.zap2it.com image 540x720]

For a 5,000 year old man, the great Prophet Moses is looking pretty fantastic:

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

Hmmm.

I thought Yeshua looked like

[www.aceshowbiz.com image 850x642]


Nah, that's snuff-film Yeshua.  He's some sick torture porn fantasy.  Real Yeshua would have been much closer to Scorsese's Mary Magdeline-loving Moshiach.
 
2013-05-02 12:04:21 PM  

hammettman: CaptSacto: I've seen better 'shops in Fark contests.

I think this needs to be a shop contest.  How does one re-submit a greened link?


Submit it without the link as a Photoshop Challenge
 
2013-05-02 12:17:25 PM  

SithLord: Henry VIII wouldn't look much different.  He'd still be obese and diabetic.  With all the GMO foods we have today, he'd probably be stuffing himself on Twinkies and Zingers anyway.


And he woul joust on a rascal scooter.
 
2013-05-02 12:44:58 PM  

RexTalionis: brigid_fitch: Henry VIII is the worst of the lot but at least Elizabeth I ends up being Helen Mirren, so it's a decent trade.

Yeah, apparently the artist watched too much of The Tudors instead of remembering that Henry VIII could barely fit into his custom-made armor toward the end of his days.


Henry was obese in large part because he had a festering wound on his leg that made physical activity difficult. Today, he would have had that fixed immediately and would have a personal trainer.  He was incredibly vain about his appearance and would have made sure he was fit and healthy.
 
2013-05-02 12:50:58 PM  
Why is Henry's suit backwards?  Who has a pocket on the right breast?  The image isn't reversed, since his watch is on his left wrist.
 
2013-05-02 12:54:57 PM  

MylesHeartVodak: Why is Henry's suit backwards?  Who has a pocket on the right breast?  The image isn't reversed, since his watch is on his left wrist.


I can seldom find matching socks and often put my boxers on backwards.  Perhaps Henry suffers from the same fashion disorder.
 
2013-05-02 01:00:42 PM  
RexTalionis: Nabb1: RexTalionis: brigid_fitch: Henry VIII is the worst of the lot but at least Elizabeth I ends up being Helen Mirren, so it's a decent trade.

Yeah, apparently the artist watched too much of The Tudors instead of remembering that Henry VIII could barely fit into his custom-made armor toward the end of his days.

Carrying extra weight in those days didn't have the social stigma it has today.  Some wealthy people and even the gentry, if they could afford to have a good portrait painted, would have the artist pack on a few extra pounds to give an appearance of a man who could afford to live in luxury.  If he really was that vain, he probably would conform to modern ideas of masculinity.

Yes, but this series is on "how historical figures would have looked today" and not "what they would've wanted their commissioned paintings to look like today."

[farm3.static.flickr.com image 681x1024]


Yeah you couldn't be as fat as he was in the pic and still fit in his armour
 
2013-05-02 01:13:06 PM  
Obligatory

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-02 01:43:28 PM  

RexTalionis: brigid_fitch: Henry VIII is the worst of the lot but at least Elizabeth I ends up being Helen Mirren, so it's a decent trade.

Yeah, apparently the artist watched too much of The Tudors instead of remembering that Henry VIII could barely fit into his custom-made armor toward the end of his days.


If his leg wound had been treated properly, he would have continued to be athletic.  I don't doubt he would have been in shape.  But he was a king, not some kind of eurotrash Lothario.  Bad likeness.

RexTalionis: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 850x532]

Also, Helen Mirren? No way, it's Tilda Swinton:
[momgrind.com image 450x486]


No kidding.  Elizabeth is badly done as well.  She was as notoriously vain as her father, and would have looked far more fashionable and regal.

I agree - this needs to be a PS Contest.
 
2013-05-02 02:02:30 PM  
That was horrible.  Awful.  I'm sure people here could do better.
 
2013-05-02 02:04:41 PM  
 
2013-05-02 02:08:00 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: No kidding.  Elizabeth is badly done as well.  She was as notoriously vain as her father, and would have looked far more fashionable and regal.


That's the worse one of the lot. Ignores the fact that she was a complete mess with a pockmarked face and black teeth. She'd be on one of those extreme makeover shows.
 
2013-05-02 02:10:36 PM  
FTFA: Instead of the cotton shirt fastened up to the chin he now sports an unbuttoned shirt Simon Cowell style and is very much the modern day lady killer.

Subtle humor is subtle.
 
2013-05-02 02:12:35 PM  

Gsm136: Benevolent Misanthrope: No kidding.  Elizabeth is badly done as well.  She was as notoriously vain as her father, and would have looked far more fashionable and regal.

That's the worse one of the lot. Ignores the fact that she was a complete mess with a pockmarked face and black teeth. She'd be on one of those extreme makeover shows.


But...she wouldn't have had those today. The pockmarks came from a stint of small pox, which is eradicated, and the teeth were from a total and complete lack of dentistry. Also, she never would have been born because Henry and Catherine of Aragon would have managed to keep one of their sons alive, so Henry wouldn't have had to trade Catherine in for Anne Boleyn
 
2013-05-02 02:25:45 PM  

what_now: Gsm136: Benevolent Misanthrope: No kidding.  Elizabeth is badly done as well.  She was as notoriously vain as her father, and would have looked far more fashionable and regal.

That's the worse one of the lot. Ignores the fact that she was a complete mess with a pockmarked face and black teeth. She'd be on one of those extreme makeover shows.

But...she wouldn't have had those today. The pockmarks came from a stint of small pox, which is eradicated, and the teeth were from a total and complete lack of dentistry. Also, she never would have been born because Henry and Catherine of Aragon would have managed to keep one of their sons alive, so Henry wouldn't have had to trade Catherine in for Anne Boleyn


Maybe yes, maybe no.  I bet Henry would still have divorced Catherine for a trophy wife.  As for young Henry staying alive... not so sure.  I had an older sister who died at 20 days old, there's no guarantee he would have lived even with modern medicine.

Elizabeth would have had straight teeth, veneers if necessary, no smallpox scars, and a wardrobe to die for.
 
2013-05-02 02:26:42 PM  
History Channel asks artist to depict what historical figures would have looked today,

I think subby accidentally the whole headline.
 
2013-05-02 02:30:09 PM  

brigid_fitch: RexTalionis: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 850x532]

Also, Helen Mirren? No way, it's Tilda Swinton:
[momgrind.com image 450x486]

Yes, definitely Tilda Swinton.  Got them confused somehow.

/Really, I meant Tilda Swinton


//Really, you meant Conan O'Brien
 
2013-05-02 02:38:18 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: what_now: Gsm136: Benevolent Misanthrope: No kidding.  Elizabeth is badly done as well.  She was as notoriously vain as her father, and would have looked far more fashionable and regal.

That's the worse one of the lot. Ignores the fact that she was a complete mess with a pockmarked face and black teeth. She'd be on one of those extreme makeover shows.

But...she wouldn't have had those today. The pockmarks came from a stint of small pox, which is eradicated, and the teeth were from a total and complete lack of dentistry. Also, she never would have been born because Henry and Catherine of Aragon would have managed to keep one of their sons alive, so Henry wouldn't have had to trade Catherine in for Anne Boleyn

Maybe yes, maybe no.  I bet Henry would still have divorced Catherine for a trophy wife.  As for young Henry staying alive... not so sure.  I had an older sister who died at 20 days old, there's no guarantee he would have lived even with modern medicine.

Elizabeth would have had straight teeth, veneers if necessary, no smallpox scars, and a wardrobe to die for.


Well. I'm very sorry to hear about your sister.

Young Henry may not have survived, but Katherine had several miscarriages that might have been preventable (no way to tell) and would have had a whole host of fertility options besides "prayer and fasting".
 
2013-05-02 02:48:03 PM  

RexTalionis: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 850x532]

Also, Helen Mirren? No way, it's Tilda Swinton:
[momgrind.com image 450x486]



Figured I would see Ms. Tilda here. Would also accept David Bowie.
 
2013-05-02 02:57:20 PM  
What Boris Karloff would look like if he were alive today:
www.aceshowbiz.com
 
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