If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(io9)   Let's calmly and intelligently discuss the pros and cons of the U.S. intervening in the conflict in Syria ... by guessing what Captain Kirk would do   (io9.com) divider line 62
    More: Silly, Prime Directive, Strict constructionism, indigenous community, Nazi regime, other worlds  
•       •       •

1792 clicks; posted to Geek » on 02 May 2013 at 11:24 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



62 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-05-02 10:19:56 AM  
"Get a life, will you, people. For crying out loud, it's just a TV show."
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-02 10:25:46 AM  
Fire.  photon.  torpedoes.
 
2013-05-02 10:41:43 AM  
He would make sure both sides were armed equally. He's done that before...
 
2013-05-02 11:05:24 AM  
"As...youcansee, now that I...have...liberatedyourwomenfrom...the...oppression...oftheburqa. And. Shown. Them. Theundeniableawesomeness...of...my. penis. Thewar....is OVER."
 
2013-05-02 11:06:16 AM  
I'm guessing he'd go and bang some of their women, then lob a couple of photon torpedoes in there.
 
2013-05-02 11:08:00 AM  
He'd punch somebody and sleep with a bunch of women.

Then Spock would declare the situation illogical.

/Steppin' into Eden.....yeah, brother!
 
2013-05-02 11:19:56 AM  
Throw a tantrum while Spock figured shiat out?
 
2013-05-02 11:20:33 AM  
Throw Red Shirts at them until they drown in blood!
 
2013-05-02 11:22:59 AM  
Kirk would try to fark it
Picard would try diplomacy
Sisco would invoke some shenanigans to convince another country into joining the war.
Janeway would bring a ship into the Mediterranean, then blow it up.
Archer would try diplomacy, then get frustrated half way through then start shooting.
 
2013-05-02 11:26:18 AM  
General Order 24?

/could probably expand it outside Syria too
 
2013-05-02 11:29:48 AM  

James!: Throw Red Shirts at them until they drown in blood!


That is what I call pulling a Zapp Brannigan.
 
2013-05-02 11:30:45 AM  
Kirk? Kirk? Screw Kirk, we want Commander Adama. He would jump into atmosphere launch his Vipers and achieve complete surprise insuring a quick and easy victory. Then he would turn the whole mess over to President Laura Roslin who would shove the trouble makers out the nearest airlock.
 
2013-05-02 11:32:24 AM  

Slaves2Darkness: Kirk? Kirk? Screw Kirk, we want Commander Adama. He would jump into atmosphere launch his Vipers and achieve complete surprise insuring a quick and easy victory. Then he would turn the whole mess over to President Laura Roslin who would shove the trouble makers out the nearest airlock.


If we are calling other Sci Fi commanders out... Then Corporal Hicks would just nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
 
2013-05-02 11:33:42 AM  

Slaves2Darkness: Kirk? Kirk? Screw Kirk, we want Commander Adama.


I'm thinking more Corporal Hicks.

1.bp.blogspot.com

It's the only way to be sure.
 
2013-05-02 11:33:43 AM  

yves0010: Then Corporal Hicks would just nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.


Came here for this, leaving satisfied.
 
2013-05-02 11:34:35 AM  
yves0010! Dang, took too much time GISing for the pic...
 
2013-05-02 11:35:04 AM  
blog.weflyspitfires.com
Assaaaaaaad!
 
2013-05-02 11:37:38 AM  

flaminio: yves0010! Dang, took too much time GISing for the pic...


Sorry man. Ill let you have the next one. Promise.
 
2013-05-02 11:39:09 AM  
Why, did Syria launch a sneak attack into Wisconsin while the rest of us weren't looking?

.
..
...
Gotta learn to stay in your own backyard kids.
 
2013-05-02 11:39:27 AM  
I'm pretty sure at some point the polarity on something would need to be reversed.  Has Obama tried reversing the polarity on stuff?
 
2013-05-02 11:46:19 AM  
WWKD?

He'd beam down to the planet so he could find an alien woman to fall in love with before the show's over.

/You usually do.
//yeah....ain't I sumpthin'....?
///Elevator, transporter room!
////I'm fine, how are you?
//I said TRANSPORTER ROOM!
//I'm fine, how are you?
 
2013-05-02 11:47:11 AM  
It's a pity Syria isn't ruled by an intelligent supercomputer.  He could just illogic it to death.
 
2013-05-02 11:47:34 AM  
He'd make sure the Federation got a piece of the action.

Right, Spocko?
 
2013-05-02 11:50:11 AM  
What did Kirk do?

images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-02 11:50:53 AM  
Go back in time and bring back some whales?
 
2013-05-02 11:52:28 AM  
www.renefiles.com

People are dying out there, every day! Entire countries are struggling for their freedom. And herewe are, still worrying about Kirk's approach to foreign policy and the finer points of the applicability of the Prime Directive.
 
2013-05-02 11:57:53 AM  
As long as Kilingons or some other adversary weren't arming one side, Cpt.Kirk would do exactly jack-shiat.

Prime Directive.
 
2013-05-02 12:03:16 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: What did Kirk do?

[images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 800x539]


I see some SNL cast in there and Kelsey Grammar. Nice photo!
 
2013-05-02 12:04:21 PM  
Of course Kirk would intervene in Syria. Although in his case, Syria would consist of cheap miniatures, a few matte paintings, and a some cheaply costumed extras.
 
2013-05-02 12:07:59 PM  

ManateeGag: Kirk would try to fark it
Picard would try diplomacy
Sisco would invoke some shenanigans to convince another country into joining the war.
Janeway would bring a ship into the Mediterranean, then blow it up.
Archer would try diplomacy, then get frustrated half way through then start shooting.


2 out of the 5 would just have Wolf handle it.
 
2013-05-02 12:13:11 PM  
Can you blame him?

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-02 12:21:40 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: Can you blame him?


ooooh. Beirut. I would like to have some lesbian cuisine.
 
2013-05-02 12:28:43 PM  
I'm pretty sure Kirk would notice that in Libya, we went to war after wikileaked State Department cables showed the dictator we didn't like had threatened to throw American and European oil firms out of his nation, but keep all that lovely oil infrastructure they had so thoughtfully built.

Claims that we invaded because that dictator was killing his own people were then and still are pure bullshiat.

The people being killed by actual weapons of mass destruction in Syria should have been born somewhere with oil.
 
2013-05-02 12:31:26 PM  

TheGrayCat: He'd punch somebody and sleep with a bunch of women.

Then Spock would declare the situation illogical.

/Steppin' into Eden.....yeah, brother!


when I rewatched the series a few years ago, I deliberately made sure I checked every episode to see if he threw a punch.  He did in every one but one.  Unfortunately I forgot to write down which one he didn't.
 
2013-05-02 12:31:28 PM  
Which Kirk? Old, cocky, badass Kirk? or new Douchbag dickhead kirk?
 
2013-05-02 12:34:34 PM  

EdNortonsTwin: As long as Kilingons or some other adversary weren't arming one side, Cpt.Kirk would do exactly jack-shiat.

Prime Directive.


I'm voting for jack-shiat. Jack-shiat works just fine for me.
 
2013-05-02 12:48:31 PM  
He wouldn't get involved as he does not believe in the No-Win Scenario.
 
2013-05-02 12:58:40 PM  
The real question though, is would Kirk have joined the Maquis?
 
2013-05-02 01:12:53 PM  

Bravo Two: Which Kirk? Old, cocky, badass Kirk? or new Douchbag dickhead kirk?


There is only one Kirk...
 
2013-05-02 01:31:48 PM  
Save all the hot chicks melt the country down and repopulate it with his brood.
 
2013-05-02 01:47:59 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: "As...youcansee, now that I...have...liberatedyourwomenfrom...the...oppression...oftheburqa. And. Shown. Them. Theundeniableawesomeness...of...my. penis. Thewar....is OVER."


+1


...nerd.
 
2013-05-02 01:48:10 PM  

flaminio: Slaves2Darkness: Kirk? Kirk? Screw Kirk, we want Commander Adama.

I'm thinking more Corporal Hicks.


But... he's just a grunt!

/No offence
 
2013-05-02 01:48:21 PM  
what Captain Kirk would do: The pretty girl being filmed through a soft-focus lens, with lilting background music.
 
2013-05-02 01:49:35 PM  
Convince the Russians that Assad's a war criminal, so that they stop backing him and start backing anybody-but-the-Jihadists?
 
2013-05-02 01:54:27 PM  
Well, the fictional character is a captain of a starship.  Now I think several million (billions?) of tons of starship suddenly appearing above their heads might get people to stop shooting each other.

They'd then start shooting at the highly advanced starship.
 
2013-05-02 02:22:33 PM  

flaminio: Slaves2Darkness: Kirk? Kirk? Screw Kirk, we want Commander Adama.

I'm thinking more Corporal Hicks.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 490x290]

It's the only way to be sure.


Well Corporal Hicks might have called for nukes he never actually had the authority to use nukes. On the other hand Commander Adama not only has the authority to use nukes,  he has nuked himself some toasters a time or two in his career.
 
2013-05-02 03:22:06 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

Why, Evil Captain Kirk would bomb the fark out of those aholes.
 
2013-05-02 03:40:28 PM  
Kirk was never supposed to be such a jackass though. I mean why write the guy as some sort of genius who beats the resident Vulcan at chess and can out think all his opponents and then just repeatedly have him beating his opponents with his bare fists?

The answer is because they didn't have a budget for anything other than Wrestlemania in space.
 
2013-05-02 03:51:54 PM  
He would go Klingon on dat ass.
 
2013-05-02 04:05:45 PM  

Egoy3k: Kirk was never supposed to be such a jackass though. I mean why write the guy as some sort of genius who beats the resident Vulcan at chess and can out think all his opponents and then just repeatedly have him beating his opponents with his bare fists?

The answer is because they didn't have a budget for anything other than Wrestlemania in space.


He did bluff those surprisingly benevolent scary aliens by transparently lying his ass off.

I mean, really, corbomite?
 
Displayed 50 of 62 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report