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(RIA Novosti (Russia))   US Airman, "Aliens messed with the US"   (en.ria.ru) divider line 129
    More: Misc, United States, nuclear missiles, Red Army, superior officer, U.S. Air Force, Salas, RIA Novosti  
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16525 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2013 at 12:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-02 11:36:07 AM  
This will no doubt lead to a global war in which Randy Quaid's ultimate sacrifice saves us all.
 
2013-05-02 11:36:47 AM  
"...to be able to shut down nuclear weapons with a beam of light..."  "We had no doubt that the 10 nuclear-tipped missiles had been compromised, tampered with and put out of commission by the 'object' that had paid a visit ..."

Without knowing what this guy actually did in the Air Force, it almost sounds as if he worked around the weapons but really had no clue what the guidance system alignment system on certain missiles was about.  Having talked to older guys when I was in, it was kind of a pain to reset the system when someone walked through the "light beam".  Indicators would flash, work would need to be done but the missile was *not* out of commission.  Considering all of this was highly classified back in the day (especially the ability of the missiles to launch in "memory mode"), I can see how some airman SP or CE guy might react to seeing a bunch of nuke/missile guys scambling around because the guidance alignment system shiat a brick...then he overhears things about missiles not being in a perfect ready state and light beams.
 
2013-05-02 12:04:54 PM  
When they get around to building Babylon 5 his great great grandson can take the aliens to court.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-05-02 12:04:59 PM  
So....no anal probing?

/ducks-and-covers
 
2013-05-02 12:05:06 PM  
This guy's a loon. The alien technology we were able to scavenge from the Roswell incident helped us develop that technology. It's no more alien technology than an LCD screen or a microwave oven. Just because it originally came from aliens doesn't mean that we didn't pick up the ball and make it our own.
 
2013-05-02 12:05:45 PM  
I could probably get the NRA and some east Texas chamber of commerce to bankroll a movie about aliens trying to invade.

Completely missing a touch of irony at the McDonalds.
 
2013-05-02 12:06:30 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-02 12:08:06 PM  
So this meeting happened in Washington, D.C., at the National Press Club, but the only report about it comes from Russia? Hmmm.
 
2013-05-02 12:09:05 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-02 12:09:36 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: This guy's a loon. The alien technology we were able to scavenge from the Roswell incident helped us develop that technology. It's no more alien technology than an LCD screen or a microwave oven. Just because it originally came from aliens doesn't mean that we didn't pick up the ball and make it our own.


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-02 12:09:37 PM  
Did he say a light beam did it?
icons-ak.wunderground.com
 
2013-05-02 12:09:46 PM  
www.ifc.com
 
2013-05-02 12:10:01 PM  
www.boardsandrec.com

I believe him, yo.

I don't know why, but I do.
 
2013-05-02 12:10:10 PM  
The Russians really have a thing for UFO, don't they?
 
2013-05-02 12:10:51 PM  
forgottenfilmcast.files.wordpress.com

Wanted for questioning.

Obscure?
 
2013-05-02 12:12:26 PM  

UberDave: "...to be able to shut down nuclear weapons with a beam of light..."  "We had no doubt that the 10 nuclear-tipped missiles had been compromised, tampered with and put out of commission by the 'object' that had paid a visit ..."

Without knowing what this guy actually did in the Air Force, it almost sounds as if he worked around the weapons but really had no clue what the guidance system alignment system on certain missiles was about.  Having talked to older guys when I was in, it was kind of a pain to reset the system when someone walked through the "light beam".  Indicators would flash, work would need to be done but the missile was *not* out of commission.  Considering all of this was highly classified back in the day (especially the ability of the missiles to launch in "memory mode"), I can see how some airman SP or CE guy might react to seeing a bunch of nuke/missile guys scambling around because the guidance alignment system shiat a brick...then he overhears things about missiles not being in a perfect ready state and light beams.


That was the first thing that popped out to me.

Doesn't mention his career field.
Doesn't' mention his security clearance.
Doesn't mention his unit.
Doesn't' mention his duty position.
Doesn't specify his rank, other than "sergeant."
Doesn't mention his time of service.
Doesn't mention if he was retired, honorably discharged, or kicked out for being a loon.
 
2013-05-02 12:14:10 PM  
So much for the Prime Directive
 
2013-05-02 12:14:33 PM  
Just imagine if we, right now, were suddenly invaded by orks.

I don't think mankind would survive that onslaught.
 
2013-05-02 12:14:40 PM  
Seems legit.
 
2013-05-02 12:16:51 PM  
Don't worry, these guys are on the case!
(warning, only diehard fans of c-to-c am will know these scam artists researchers.

projectcamelotproductions.com
 
2013-05-02 12:18:10 PM  

ChipNASA: [i.imgur.com image 600x340]


Directly under the "A", you will find your proof of alien life.
 
2013-05-02 12:18:49 PM  

CygnusDarius: Just imagine if we, right now, were suddenly invaded by orks.

I don't think mankind would survive that onslaught.


Waaagh!
 
2013-05-02 12:21:28 PM  

Sgt Otter: UberDave: "...to be able to shut down nuclear weapons with a beam of light..."  "We had no doubt that the 10 nuclear-tipped missiles had been compromised, tampered with and put out of commission by the 'object' that had paid a visit ..."

Without knowing what this guy actually did in the Air Force, it almost sounds as if he worked around the weapons but really had no clue what the guidance system alignment system on certain missiles was about.  Having talked to older guys when I was in, it was kind of a pain to reset the system when someone walked through the "light beam".  Indicators would flash, work would need to be done but the missile was *not* out of commission.  Considering all of this was highly classified back in the day (especially the ability of the missiles to launch in "memory mode"), I can see how some airman SP or CE guy might react to seeing a bunch of nuke/missile guys scambling around because the guidance alignment system shiat a brick...then he overhears things about missiles not being in a perfect ready state and light beams.

That was the first thing that popped out to me.

Doesn't mention his career field.
Doesn't' mention his security clearance.
Doesn't mention his unit.
Doesn't' mention his duty position.
Doesn't specify his rank, other than "sergeant."
Doesn't mention his time of service.
Doesn't mention if he was retired, honorably discharged, or kicked out for being a loon.



That info is fairly important.  My first supervisor made a Peacekeeper full of young SPs freak the hell out for a bit by breaking a couple of glow-sticks and dumping their contents out next to a igloo door.  It's not that they were complete imbeciles but if you work around a bunch of weird shady stuff you don't know anything about, your imagination can run wild.
 
2013-05-02 12:21:33 PM  
imageshack.us
 
2013-05-02 12:22:57 PM  
FTA: the former lawmakers listening to the testimony are each being paid $20,000 to attend the five days of hearings.

I am pretty sure, with the right money, this panel would have showed up to "investigate" assertions that global warming is a product of the flatulence caused from invisible offspring between the union of the flying spaghetti monster and a manbearpig.
 
2013-05-02 12:26:02 PM  

Wade_Wilson: [forgottenfilmcast.files.wordpress.com image 644x480]

Wanted for questioning.

Obscure?


 "Neils Bohr is using the toaster."
 
2013-05-02 12:27:09 PM  
Give the body back and all will be forgiven

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-02 12:28:38 PM  
As long as they didn't mess with Texas. Perry might point his primitive projectile thrower at them.
 
2013-05-02 12:30:03 PM  

xria: CygnusDarius: Just imagine if we, right now, were suddenly invaded by orks.

I don't think mankind would survive that onslaught.

Waaagh!


Hah! +1 to you. Damn Nob Squads
 
2013-05-02 12:30:52 PM  

HortusMatris: [imageshack.us image 337x295]


how was this not the premiere comment?
 
2013-05-02 12:30:59 PM  

FarkFarkFarkGOOSE: FTA: the former lawmakers listening to the testimony are each being paid $20,000 to attend the five days of hearings.

I am pretty sure, with the right money, this panel would have showed up to "investigate" assertions that global warming is a product of the flatulence caused from invisible offspring between the union of the flying spaghetti monster and a manbearpig.


The entire modern field of UFOlogy is either new age idiots, scammers, like Stanton Freidman who has a vested interested in the keeping the myth of Roswell alive, and authors who churn out crappy books like dogs shiat.

While occasionally something interesting and potentially worth investigating DOES pop, it's normally the same talking heads saying the same things and printing the same lies and half-truths over and over again to make a buck. Friedman in particular is annoying as hell because every few months he drags out a new "Roswell eye-witness" who remembers just enough to corroborate parts of the-well known- story.

Even though some of these folks, like David Icke, are well worth their speaking fees because they're more like comedians than "researchers". I'd pay $20 to see Icke ramble on about Lizard people, better than most stand-ups acts too! Most, like Richard C. Hoagland, through as much bullshiat at the wall and then runs with what sticks. He's hosted several pressers at the National Press Club because anybody can rent a room there. Like every other "researcher" Hoagland is all smoke and mirrors with made up or highly bigged up credentials.

Grey Barker, who ran many hoaxes in his time, along with Jim Moseley, to make a living once wrote a poem that sums up the modern UFO community:

UFO is a bucket of shiat

Its followers: perverts, monomaniacs, dipsomaniacs
Artists of the fast buck
True believers, objective believers, new age believers
Keyhoe believers
Shushed by the three men
Or masturbated by space men
UFO is a bucket of shiat
The A.F. investigated UFOs
And issued a report
Couched in polite language
Which translated, means:
"UFO is a bucket of shiat"
Meade Layne is a bucket of shiat
Lex Mebane is a bucket of shiat
James W. Moseley is a bucket of shiat
Richard Ogden is a bucket of shiat
Ray Palmer is a bucket of shiat
And I sit here writing
While the shiat drips down my face
In great rivulets


RIP Moseley, the greatest UFOlogist of them all.
 
2013-05-02 12:31:32 PM  
At least they didn't mess with Texas.
 
2013-05-02 12:31:59 PM  

trotsky: FarkFarkFarkGOOSE: FTA: the former lawmakers listening to the testimony are each being paid $20,000 to attend the five days of hearings.

I am pretty sure, with the right money, this panel would have showed up to "investigate" assertions that global warming is a product of the flatulence caused from invisible offspring between the union of the flying spaghetti monster and a manbearpig.

The entire modern field of UFOlogy is either new age idiots, scammers, like Stanton Freidman who has a vested interested in the keeping the myth of Roswell alive, and authors who churn out crappy books like dogs shiat.

While occasionally something interesting and potentially worth investigating DOES pop, it's normally the same talking heads saying the same things and printing the same lies and half-truths over and over again to make a buck. Friedman in particular is annoying as hell because every few months he drags out a new "Roswell eye-witness" who remembers just enough to corroborate parts of the-well known- story.

Even though some of these folks, like David Icke, are well worth their speaking fees because they're more like comedians than "researchers". I'd pay $20 to see Icke ramble on about Lizard people, better than most stand-ups acts too! Most, like Richard C. Hoagland, through as much bullshiat at the wall and then runs with what sticks. He's hosted several pressers at the National Press Club because anybody can rent a room there. Like every other "researcher" Hoagland is all smoke and mirrors with made up or highly bigged up credentials.

Grey Barker, who ran many hoaxes in his time, along with Jim Moseley, to make a living once wrote a poem that sums up the modern UFO community:

UFO is a bucket of shiat

Its followers: perverts, monomaniacs, dipsomaniacs
Artists of the fast buck
True believers, objective believers, new age believers
Keyhoe believers
Shushed by the three men
Or masturbated by space men
UFO is a bucket of shiat
The A.F. investigated UFOs
And issued a rep ...


Jesus fark, sorry for the horrible spelling throughout. Damn phone.
 
2013-05-02 12:32:27 PM  
The Lakenheath-Bentwaters Incident was a series of radar and visual contacts with Unidentified Flying Objects that took place over airbases in eastern England and is probably the best case for ET's visiting Earth.
 
2013-05-02 12:32:50 PM  

CygnusDarius: Just imagine if we, right now, were suddenly invaded by orks.

I don't think mankind would survive that onslaught.


Blasphemer! The Holy Ordos have been notified of your offense against the Emperor of Mankind.
 
2013-05-02 12:33:12 PM  

Sgt Otter: UberDave: "...to be able to shut down nuclear weapons with a beam of light..."  "We had no doubt that the 10 nuclear-tipped missiles had been compromised, tampered with and put out of commission by the 'object' that had paid a visit ..."

Without knowing what this guy actually did in the Air Force, it almost sounds as if he worked around the weapons but really had no clue what the guidance system alignment system on certain missiles was about.  Having talked to older guys when I was in, it was kind of a pain to reset the system when someone walked through the "light beam".  Indicators would flash, work would need to be done but the missile was *not* out of commission.  Considering all of this was highly classified back in the day (especially the ability of the missiles to launch in "memory mode"), I can see how some airman SP or CE guy might react to seeing a bunch of nuke/missile guys scambling around because the guidance alignment system shiat a brick...then he overhears things about missiles not being in a perfect ready state and light beams.

That was the first thing that popped out to me.

Doesn't mention his career field.
Doesn't' mention his security clearance.
Doesn't mention his unit.
Doesn't' mention his duty position.
Doesn't specify his rank, other than "sergeant."
Doesn't mention his time of service.
Doesn't mention if he was retired, honorably discharged, or kicked out for being a loon.


I was a master chief, back in the day. fighting the religious fanatic assholes who declared war on our way of life.

light beams sure were problematic for us. lost a lot of buddies to them along the way.

and then, I ran into the Flood.
 
2013-05-02 12:33:44 PM  
I ,for one, (would) welcome our peaceful new overlords.  But let us not undermine the bravery of these military men, who spoke up and defended our freedom.  Bloody heroes, they are.

Since yesterday we got a good thread with first-hand accounts from service members about proselytizing, I'd like a thread today about first-hand accounts from service members about crazy.  CRAZY!
 
2013-05-02 12:33:46 PM  

MacWizard: So this meeting happened in Washington, D.C., at the National Press Club, but the only report about it comes from Russia? Hmmm.


It made the news here.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ufo-buffs-beam-well-paid-ex -p ols-article-1.1330724
 
2013-05-02 12:33:53 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: This guy's a loon. The alien technology we were able to scavenge from the Roswell incident helped us develop that technology. It's no more alien technology than an LCD screen or a microwave oven. Just because it originally came from aliens doesn't mean that we didn't pick up the ball and make it our own.


I know you're making a funny, but sdgasdfglp;sajkbpso ma]ryk ]wserty e5un36hyit86 324674ikw
qaer[okg weq][rkh ]wetohik qpeor[]woei]opei]h ]qwew45rto4 tweakgihowitujes wey wr]90hi254y
tpoq mijgfqpwjm

[carrier lost]
 
2013-05-02 12:34:13 PM  
Sounds to me like he was mucking about:

ichef.bbci.co.uk

but got chased out of the country by:

www.theopen-road.com
 
2013-05-02 12:34:34 PM  

Deep Contact: The Lakenheath-Bentwaters Incident was a series of radar and visual contacts with Unidentified Flying Objects that took place over airbases in eastern England and is probably the best case for ET's visiting Earth.


Luckily, they were frightened off by our access to British food and our willingness to use it.
 
2013-05-02 12:34:43 PM  

ChipNASA: [i.imgur.com image 600x340]


Isn't that Cynthia McKinney in the middle there?
 
2013-05-02 12:34:51 PM  

Deep Contact: The Lakenheath-Bentwaters Incident was a series of radar and visual contacts with Unidentified Flying Objects that took place over airbases in eastern England and is probably the best case for ET's visiting Earth.


Bentwaters is interesting because the XO of the base detailed what he saw. At the time, this would have been a career killer, so that makes the tape all the more interesting. There are a few "witnesses" that are utterly full of shiat, but the XO, as far as I know, isn't one of them.
 
2013-05-02 12:35:30 PM  
Alien DNA infected us, about time we infected them...
 
2013-05-02 12:35:54 PM  
Not aliens

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-02 12:37:05 PM  
images.tvrage.com
Ya dun goofed, David Scott. Now the aliens know you know, but the rest of us can't even see them. You're doomed.
 
2013-05-02 12:37:07 PM  
I believe in aliens, now where's my $20,000?
 
2013-05-02 12:41:28 PM  
globaltoynews.typepad.com
 
2013-05-02 12:41:53 PM  
You know, this sounds utterly crazy, but it's been reported since the 1980s. Maybe we have some peaceful benefactors..
 
2013-05-02 12:42:35 PM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

Did someone say "government conspiracy"?
 
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