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(SB Nation)   A stunningly accurate portrayal of Tim Tebow and the CFL   (sbnation.com) divider line 53
    More: Interesting, Tim Tebow, CFL, Southern Ontario, June Jones, tootsie rolls, trestle tables, jumbotron, sportsnet  
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5207 clicks; posted to Sports » on 02 May 2013 at 8:24 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-02 02:27:58 AM
Huh. Ya learns sumptin' new e'rryday. Thanks, Subby.
 
2013-05-02 03:22:48 AM
That was a very enjoyable bedtime read. Strange, but enjoyable.

Thanks, submitter.
 
2013-05-02 04:58:05 AM
I feel pretty confident that that's probably what Canada is like.
 
2013-05-02 08:41:43 AM
That was...  I don't even...
 
2013-05-02 08:49:02 AM
WTF did I just read?
 
2013-05-02 08:54:29 AM
More importantly, I'm trying to think of a CFL team where Tebow could legitimately appear higher than #3 on the QB depth chart.  There's really no room in the CFL for a non-throwing QB.

/You think the NFL has been pass-heavy the last 3 or 4 years?
 
2013-05-02 09:06:57 AM
That was retarded.
 
2013-05-02 09:12:00 AM
I think Mr. Tebow will be very successful in his next job.

/as a minister
 
2013-05-02 09:12:39 AM
"What the hell, lets get crazy."  

/Had to Wiki Garrison Hearst after this to make sure he still wasn't playing.
 
2013-05-02 09:14:27 AM
Well that was certainly a thing.
 
2013-05-02 09:26:26 AM
Pocket Ninja is really branching out these days...
 
2013-05-02 09:36:12 AM
What is this?  I don't even...
 
2013-05-02 09:41:13 AM

cettin: Pocket Ninja is really branching out these days...


lulz...you might be right.
 
2013-05-02 09:42:26 AM
It's going to be big and expensive, but I'm going to tattoo that whole thing onto my back
 
2013-05-02 09:44:46 AM

AliceBToklasLives: I think Mr. Tebow will be very successful in his next job.

/as a minister


/of a MegaChurch
 
2013-05-02 09:51:03 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-02 10:21:46 AM
are we sure Pocket Ninja didn't write that?
 
2013-05-02 10:24:32 AM
That was a very enjoyable read. Very well-done and amusing. I almost didn't click it because I thought SBNation was crap, but I'm either thinking of a different site or they got lucky this time.

Thanks, Subby.

/Just looked at some of the author's other posts. None are gold like this Tebow memoir, but there are some amusing spots.
 
2013-05-02 10:26:39 AM
A stunningly accurate portrayal of Tim Tebow and the CFL

Hamsters are 20 bucks, gerbils are 10 bucks. I stared as $40 of June Jones' money scurried and sniffed around the table.

"Good. The game starts in 45 minutes Celsius.  That was about two hours Fahrenheit, I later learned,


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-02 10:36:11 AM
Well that was absurd. Everyone knows in Canada we run on metric time.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-02 10:42:11 AM
That. Was. Genius.
 
2013-05-02 10:51:02 AM
Surprisingly well written. Thanks, Subby.
 
2013-05-02 10:56:31 AM
I wish to learn more of this magical land of ... Canada, is it called?
 
2013-05-02 11:05:11 AM
Well, that was certainly...letters on a webpage. I think.
 
2013-05-02 11:13:36 AM

Mercutio74: More importantly, I'm trying to think of a CFL team where Tebow could legitimately appear higher than #3 on the QB depth chart.  There's really no room in the CFL for a non-throwing QB.

/You think the NFL has been pass-heavy the last 3 or 4 years?


He'd easily be number 2 on the Bombers...mainly because our starter can go on the injured list opening a can of Coke, and are backups are Max farking Hall and someone who's name sounds like something out of a soap opera.
 
2013-05-02 11:19:10 AM
I always love watching people's first impressions of Jon Bois. He's one of my favorite writers.

skrame: I almost didn't click it because I thought SBNation was crap, but I'm either thinking of a different site or they got lucky this time.


You're probably thinking of bleacher report. That being said, SBNation is a massive group of blogs, and some can be really bad.  It's hard to say anything about the site's quality in general.
 
2013-05-02 11:30:06 AM

DeWayne Mann: I always love watching people's first impressions of Jon Bois. He's one of my favorite writers.

skrame: I almost didn't click it because I thought SBNation was crap, but I'm either thinking of a different site or they got lucky this time.

You're probably thinking of bleacher report. That being said, SBNation is a massive group of blogs, and some can be really bad.  It's hard to say anything about the site's quality in general.


Jon Bois and Spencer Hall are great.  Spilly Meals make me question humanity.
 
2013-05-02 11:32:15 AM

Mentat: DeWayne Mann: I always love watching people's first impressions of Jon Bois. He's one of my favorite writers.

skrame: I almost didn't click it because I thought SBNation was crap, but I'm either thinking of a different site or they got lucky this time.

You're probably thinking of bleacher report. That being said, SBNation is a massive group of blogs, and some can be really bad.  It's hard to say anything about the site's quality in general.

Jon Bois and Spencer Hall are great.  Spilly Meals make me question humanity.


I seriously think I've learned more about how to cook from Spilly than from any other source. Because if what I make looks like something of his, I know I did something wrong.
 
2013-05-02 12:19:47 PM
www.cflapedia.com
 
2013-05-02 12:29:34 PM
That was farking awful.
 
2013-05-02 12:36:43 PM

Milos Hattrick: [www.cflapedia.com image 475x603]


Yeah, Warren Moon thinks Tebow would be great in the CFL. Or not.
 
2013-05-02 01:29:49 PM
Silversouth are we sure Pocket Ninja didn't write that?

His stuff usually isn't that bad
 
2013-05-02 02:03:40 PM

doubled99: Silversouth are we sure Pocket Ninja didn't write that?

His stuff usually isn't that bad


Reminds me more of the farker who writes weirder satire.  the one that is pocket ninja on drugs.
 
rka
2013-05-02 02:05:47 PM
Heh, Shouties.
 
2013-05-02 02:19:03 PM

Theaetetus: Surprisingly well written. Thanks, Subby.


BATMANATEE: That was farking awful.



the comments in this thread are just like people's opinion of Tebow.  either love him or hate him.  interesting.
 
2013-05-02 02:46:24 PM

DeWayne Mann: I always love watching people's first impressions of Jon Bois. He's one of my favorite writers.

skrame: I almost didn't click it because I thought SBNation was crap, but I'm either thinking of a different site or they got lucky this time.

You're probably thinking of bleacher report. That being said, SBNation is a massive group of blogs, and some can be really bad.  It's hard to say anything about the site's quality in general.


I believe there is the main SBNation, which has their own crew that does stories and features, etc. Usually are quite good. Then, they will also pull in smaller stories and such from one of the hundred children blogs. The great thing about the children blogs is if you have a team you like, there is likely a blog for it. It's nice to read stuff from a homer from time to time.
 
2013-05-02 03:03:20 PM
Why does Tim Tebow hate efficient lighting?

www.examiner.com
 
2013-05-02 03:24:31 PM
May I mambo-dogface to the banana patch?

"On First Down?!?"

/I liked it
 
2013-05-02 03:47:53 PM

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: May I mambo-dogface to the banana patch?

"On First Down?!?"


Get that kid a special test.
 
2013-05-02 04:01:29 PM
I love when stories like this come along. Based on people's reactions, it just makes it that much easier to see who I do or don't share a sense of humor with. Netw3rk, Bois, Spencer Hall, Sir Broosk, etc.. these are a bunch of weird dudes that write, and for some reason I find them hilarious as hell.
 
2013-05-02 05:35:14 PM
Completely and utterly stupid.  Montreal has his rights, not Toronto.
 
2013-05-02 05:37:36 PM

Flappyhead: Completely and utterly stupid.  Montreal has his rights, not Toronto.


But then the entire article would've been in French.
 
2013-05-02 05:41:43 PM

Flappyhead: Completely and utterly stupid.  Montreal has his rights, not Toronto.


Yeah, they'll sell him for one Canadian dollar.  That's like one US dollar.

That's the joke.

Also, Tebow is not a CFL QB in anything other than his wellspoken humility and courtesy.  Mike Vick is (as a player) the prototypical ideal CFL QB.  Or Warren Moon, or Dougie Flutie.
 
2013-05-02 05:45:37 PM

DeWayne Mann: Flappyhead: Completely and utterly stupid.  Montreal has his rights, not Toronto.

But then the entire article would've been in French.


They could've gone with Franglais.  That in itself is funny.
 
2013-05-02 06:49:30 PM
Timmay in the CFL? Take off eh, you hoser.
 
2013-05-02 09:24:18 PM
Hilarious.
 
2013-05-02 09:38:54 PM
I was genuinely sad when that ended. I wanted to read more! I felt like I was watching a football game set within the His Dark Materials trilogy.
 
2013-05-02 10:08:56 PM
They don't use a lot of tight ends in the CFL any more, so I see no role for Tebow.
 
2013-05-02 10:35:22 PM

Dick Gozinya: That was retarded.


agreed.

gave up half way through
 
2013-05-02 10:39:07 PM

MysticSavage: Mercutio74: More importantly, I'm trying to think of a CFL team where Tebow could legitimately appear higher than #3 on the QB depth chart.  There's really no room in the CFL for a non-throwing QB.

/You think the NFL has been pass-heavy the last 3 or 4 years?

He'd easily be number 2 on the Bombers...mainly because our starter can go on the injured list opening a can of Coke, and are backups are Max farking Hall and someone who's name sounds like something out of a soap opera.


Let's sack Mack, amirite?
 
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