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(Oregon Live)   Problem: Teachers unprepared for school shootings. Solution: Have volunteers dressed as masked gunmen with real weapons storm the school and fire blanks at teachers, simulating a massacre. There, don't you feel safer now?   (oregonlive.com) divider line 146
    More: Asinine, Oregon, school shootings, emergency plan  
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7034 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2013 at 1:21 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-01 07:57:57 PM
No way that's ever going to go horribly wrong.
 
2013-05-01 08:11:09 PM
This is one of the stupidest farking things I've ever heard of. And this is Fark, FFS.
 
2013-05-01 08:31:03 PM
Supposin' someone was actually prepared!?
 
2013-05-01 08:51:06 PM
The PTSD law suits will be educational and expensive.
 
2013-05-01 08:52:16 PM
I give a larbage.
 
2013-05-01 08:56:04 PM
Sounds like an effective drill.  TFA says the teachers had received "active shooter" training.  The perfect test for the training for tender-hearted people who give hugs all day.
 
2013-05-01 08:59:39 PM
They should thank their lucky stars that the teachers weren't armed, as is being proposed, or there would have been a whole lot of dead volunteers.
 
2013-05-01 09:06:23 PM
Hope the teachers brought a spare pair of undies!
 
2013-05-01 09:12:48 PM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: No way that's ever going to go horribly wrong.


Let's see

1)  Somebody has a heart attack
2)  Somebody injures themselves trying to run away
3)  Somebody injures the fake shooters trying to fight back (scissors, pens, books, etc)
4)  Somebody sues
5)  Somebody has hearing loss from shooting blanks indoors
6)  They put an eye out

etc. etc. etc.
 
2013-05-01 09:13:04 PM
In Japan they do this about twice a year for catchpole training. A guy comes in and yells a lot and every teacher takes a turn pinning him to the ground.
 
2013-05-01 09:24:07 PM

TommyymmoT: They should thank their lucky stars that the teachers weren't armed, as is being proposed, or there would have been a whole lot of dead volunteers.


I can't help but imagine a teacher realizing that the guns aren't actually shooting bullets, grabbing the nearest bludgeon, and smashing the skulls of those asshats for pulling such a stupid "drill".

/as a teacher, in my internet tough guy dreams I'd imagine this to be me
 
2013-05-01 09:26:23 PM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-01 09:34:17 PM

remus: Nina_Hartley's_Ass: No way that's ever going to go horribly wrong.

Let's see

1)  Somebody has a heart attack
2)  Somebody injures themselves trying to run away
3)  Somebody injures the fake shooters trying to fight back (scissors, pens, books, etc)
4)  Somebody sues
5)  Somebody has hearing loss from shooting blanks indoors
6)  They put an eye out

etc. etc. etc.


And don't forget if a teacher is actually armed and shoots others in the crossfire.
 
2013-05-01 09:46:12 PM
FTFA: "I'll tell you, the whole situation was horrible," she said. "I got a couple in the front and a couple in the back."

Didn't I see this on a pr0n site the other day?
 
2013-05-01 09:48:25 PM

calbert: [images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 600x255]


That was such a stupid farking scene. Like the 20 cops in that station wouldn't immediately turned McClane into hamburger.
 
2013-05-01 09:50:22 PM
FTFA: They weren't expecting a drill like this, and they were caught by surprise when the two men entered and began firing.

I think this would have been great if one of the teachers had whipped out her Glock and emptied her clip into the two volunteer fake gunmen. What could anyone have done? She would have been defending herself against an attack.
 
2013-05-01 09:52:29 PM
snltranscripts.jt.org

Hi there!Please, do not be alarmed! This is only a simulated assault and burglery.Repeat! This is asimulated assault and burglery! Thiscould happen to you at any time - in fact, itjust has!
 
2013-05-01 10:00:46 PM

Mugato: calbert: [images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 600x255]

That was such a stupid farking scene. Like the 20 cops in that station wouldn't immediately turned McClane into hamburger.


yeah I know. that's irked me for 20 years.

Cracked recently re-visited it:

The 5 Most Ridiculous Movie Character Overreactions
 
2013-05-01 10:12:51 PM

doglover: In Japan they do this about twice a year for catchpole training. A guy comes in and yells a lot and every teacher takes a turn pinning him to the ground.


So, they don't like the Polish in Japan, either?
 
2013-05-01 10:41:28 PM
Listen up Oregon. Fark had a Florida tag. There is a reason Florida has its own tag. Some of us are weirdly proud of that. Stop muscling in on our territory.
 
2013-05-01 11:04:37 PM
Everyone sharted. There was sh*t everywhere.
 
2013-05-01 11:16:53 PM
FTA:  Surprisingly, the drill made Beck aware that she would not have recognized the sounds of gunfire. "I would have blown it off as kids' sounds in the hall," she said.

Blanks sound completely different from real gunfire, especially before they have been processed by a Hollywood sound effects technician.

Congrats, now you're even less prepared for an Active Shooter scenario.

"Teacher, is that gunfire?"
"Why no, kids.  It sounds nothing like what I heard in our safety drill.  It must be firecrackers or something.  Just ignore it."
 
2013-05-01 11:34:40 PM

parkthebus: Sounds like an effective drill.  TFA says the teachers had received "active shooter" training.  The perfect test for the training for tender-hearted people who give hugs all day.


I've had "active shooter training" because I work in a federal office building. The training kind of assumes that you're not one of the sorry SOB's who are initially ambushed, which they were in this case. If they had the same training I did, and followed it, then their next step, lacking the ability to escape, and being actively confronted, would have involved the actually unarmed shooters being mauled to death by a mob wielding school/office supplies, e.g. toss crap to distract, attempt to close, and stab with scissors, not that the training went into specifics beyond throwing stuff to distract. I'm fairly certain that the unimaginable dumbass who arranged this would not have wanted that to happen, and in short, the teachers were meant to fail. This exercise was complete BS.
 
2013-05-01 11:34:55 PM
22 posts and no one has blamed the NRA yet? Farkin' amazin'.
 
2013-05-02 12:15:19 AM
I wonder if the school actually teaches critical thinking skills.
 
2013-05-02 12:20:53 AM

John Buck 41: 22 posts and no one has blamed the NRA yet? Farkin' amazin'.


For dropping the ball? It's obvious. Oregon didn't train movie goers. How are movie goers going to be safe w/o active shooter training? And what about people shopping in a mall, driving down the freeway, or playing at a park? Don't they deserve to be safe? I'll bet people sitting in their living rooms would also benefit from unannounced, surprise training. That the NRA has failed to promote training for everyone is surprising.
 
2013-05-02 12:27:58 AM
Don't take this as me being an ITG, because under virtually all circumstances (including the ones described here) I'm a gigantic pussy. You'd hardly have to burst into my classroom shouting and firing blanks to get me to wet my pants, and the only question would be whether I kept my wits about me long enough to throw a child at you in an attempt to get away.

But  if this happened to me, once it was clear what the situation really was, I'd definitely "accidentally" "panic" and in my "confusion" and "hysteria" kick someone's balls clear up into his nasal passages. Oops, sorry guy, I realize you were just trying to test my preparedness. No hard feelings. Walk it off.
 
2013-05-02 12:38:36 AM
Isn't this a repeat? Not the article but the exercise? Didn't they try this somewhere else with the same results?

/Yogi, that trick never works
 
2013-05-02 01:27:19 AM
In other news, the administrators running our schools are some truly stupid, imbecilic sacks of shiat.
 
2013-05-02 01:27:33 AM

I_Am_Weasel: Supposin' someone was actually prepared!?


Oh, that would have been even more epic.
 
2013-05-02 01:29:08 AM
Yeah, the issue with no-notice drills involving deadly force is that if your victims ARE prepared or just particularly quick-witted they may respond with ACTUAL deadly force.

All fun and games until the gym teacher realizes he's got a baseball bat and there's an obvious solution to that masked dude with his back to him that appears to be trying to murder his co-workers, or whatever.

I mention this because of two attempted school shootings when I was in middle/high school, both ended with a teacher or other students overpowering the would-be gunman, and in one case the perp was rather severely injured.  Cowering is not necessarily the automatic reaction of victims with an overwhelming numerical advantage.

This is also explicitly the reason we have three campus-wide announcements in advance every time there's any kind of drill.
 
2013-05-02 01:29:11 AM

remus: Nina_Hartley's_Ass: No way that's ever going to go horribly wrong.

Let's see

1)  Somebody has a heart attack
2)  Somebody injures themselves trying to run away
3)  Somebody injures the fake shooters trying to fight back (scissors, pens, books, etc)
4)  Somebody sues
5)  Somebody has hearing loss from shooting blanks indoors
6)  They put an eye out

etc. etc. etc.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-02 01:29:41 AM
They weren't expecting a drill like this

No way that could have resulted in people actually getting injured. Nope.

/it's all fun and games until a faux shooter takes a folding chair to the head
 
2013-05-02 01:34:47 AM
You know the thing about the turd in the punchbowl?

Yea. That.
 
2013-05-02 01:37:56 AM

calbert: Mugato: calbert: [images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 600x255]

That was such a stupid farking scene. Like the 20 cops in that station wouldn't immediately turned McClane into hamburger.

yeah I know. that's irked me for 20 years.

Cracked recently re-visited it:

The 5 Most Ridiculous Movie Character Overreactions


Whoa. Was that some sort of hidden re-direct? How did you do that? I mean, you say it is a Cracked.com article, and the URL says "cracked.com", but the entire article is on a single page.

/scared
 
2013-05-02 01:37:59 AM

semiotix: Don't take this as me being an ITG, because under virtually all circumstances (including the ones described here) I'm a gigantic pussy. You'd hardly have to burst into my classroom shouting and firing blanks to get me to wet my pants, and the only question would be whether I kept my wits about me long enough to throw a child at you in an attempt to get away.

But  if this happened to me, once it was clear what the situation really was, I'd definitely "accidentally" "panic" and in my "confusion" and "hysteria" kick someone's balls clear up into his nasal passages. Oops, sorry guy, I realize you were just trying to test my preparedness. No hard feelings. Walk it off.


I think it would be funnier if you "accidentally" threw a child at them.
 
2013-05-02 01:38:02 AM
What a simulated school shooting using blanks might look like:

i218.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-02 01:39:44 AM

Fark Me To Tears: FTFA: They weren't expecting a drill like this, and they were caught by surprise when the two men entered and began firing.

I think this would have been great if one of the teachers had whipped out her Glock and emptied her clip into the two volunteer fake gunmen. What could anyone have done? She would have been defending herself against an attack.


It's okay, schools are gun free zones. Shooters, real or fake, have little to worry about.
 
2013-05-02 01:41:58 AM
So, let me get this straight. Some people that in order to be safe, we must first question whether it's a drill or a real armed gunman with military-style, high-capacity machines of death?

We have to shut down whole cities, and alter rights, just because of one of these guys.

This isn't hiding under desks because we might get nuked. At least with that idiocy, it was hard for someone to grievously injured.

/sigh me up for the lawsuits
 
2013-05-02 01:42:42 AM
yeah, give the children PTSD! that will teach them to not be gay! or something,
 
2013-05-02 01:43:23 AM

saturn badger: Isn't this a repeat? Not the article but the exercise? Didn't they try this somewhere else with the same results?


I can't recall. The nearest thing I can think of is this:

Church Stages Kidnapping of Youth Group Members

A church pastor in Pennsylvania could face felony charges for staging a fake kidnapping of youth group students in order to teach them about religious persecution.


*Warning: auto-play video
 
2013-05-02 01:43:28 AM

Fark Me To Tears: FTFA: They weren't expecting a drill like this, and they were caught by surprise when the two men entered and began firing.

I think this would have been great if one of the teachers had whipped out her Glock and emptied her clip into the two volunteer fake gunmen. What could anyone have done? She would have been defending herself against an attack.


Two guys die, she goes to prison for a decade (or whatever the mandatory minimum is for taking a firearm into a school and the glock gets destroyed.  Unbelievably stupid.
 
2013-05-02 01:45:01 AM
I'm on the fence on if this is a good idea or a dumb one.  The dumb is storming a school with real guns firing blanks to get your point across.  The parts that I do agree with is that they did this while the students were at home on a workshop day, and it does point out that in the event of a school shooting, those inside the schools without guns are f*cked.  And the guns to showcase just how loud an actual gun is when fired.  I don't find this at all asinine.  That opinion would be completely different if children were in the school when this happened.

As much as we don't want to admit it, schools are a target, guns aren't going away and mental healthcare to prevent potential school shooters from becoming actual school shooters is, at best, many years away.  Schools need to have armed guards.  I'm not saying we station snipers on the roof and place a few squads of former Military Police within the schools to march down the hallways with the orders of "if it looks like a gun, it is a gun, shoot to kill."  Four plain clothes officers with a gun is all that's really needed.  Odds are, these officers would never need to even draw their weapons, but having them would be like having a fire extinguisher.  You may never use it, but if needed you'll be glad it's there.

Sadly, the people who really should have been in that school are the ones who are against having guns in schools to protect students.  Put those parents and school board members and politicians who are very anti-guns in school for protection in that school during this drill and see if they start to reconsider.  Point out that they sit in the same classroom that their child sits and explain just how quickly their child could have been gunned down in the (unlikely) event of a school shooting.
 
2013-05-02 01:46:45 AM

saturn badger: Isn't this a repeat? Not the article but the exercise? Didn't they try this somewhere else with the same results?



Yep, similar stories have appeared on Fark in the past.
 
2013-05-02 01:47:37 AM

Gyrfalcon: semiotix: Don't take this as me being an ITG, because under virtually all circumstances (including the ones described here) I'm a gigantic pussy. You'd hardly have to burst into my classroom shouting and firing blanks to get me to wet my pants, and the only question would be whether I kept my wits about me long enough to throw a child at you in an attempt to get away.

But  if this happened to me, once it was clear what the situation really was, I'd definitely "accidentally" "panic" and in my "confusion" and "hysteria" kick someone's balls clear up into his nasal passages. Oops, sorry guy, I realize you were just trying to test my preparedness. No hard feelings. Walk it off.

I think it would be funnier if you "accidentally" threw a child at them.


That would be my go to move in that situation.  Keep throwing those arm-farting little brats at shooter until you have two in the air, then charge with a mechanical pencil.
 
2013-05-02 01:50:40 AM

Fark Me To Tears: FTFA: They weren't expecting a drill like this, and they were caught by surprise when the two men entered and began firing.

I think this would have been great if one of the teachers had whipped out her Glock and emptied her clip into the two volunteer fake gunmen. What could anyone have done? She would have been defending herself against an attack.


And even though it would have gone against literally everything that the NRA has been touting to avoid stricter gun laws, they would've still used this incident to try to avoid stricter gun laws.  And it would've worked, because the gun nuts are terrified Obammer's gun take are gunz.

/For a group that highly touts their manliness, gun nuts can be extreme pussies sometimes.
 
2013-05-02 01:50:41 AM
I once wanted to move to Halfway, or somewhere nearby. Here's the view:

i.imgur.com

Then I realized what farking assholes existed in that part of the state. Even the nice ones hold a deep resentment toward western Oregonians. It's really unsettling, in fact.

I do not come from the Portland area, and though I joked with them, I really didn't care for their attitude that EVERY SINGLE FOCUS should be on Salem, Eugene, and Portland (many just said "west of the Cascades"). I had people see the side of my work vehicle and say to me how they didn't like people from where we come from. For f*ck's sake, a PROFESSIONAL, during a BUSINESS call, basically implied he didn't want to work with me just because I lived west of the mountains; wholly disregarding I actually worked in a conservative town, and grew up in one of these hateful, spiteful places that literally feeds off of what "the other side of the state" does (in this case, it was the same "side" but not one of the pampered communities).

I understand their frustration in a small sense toward the rest of the state (their TINY population and the rather bountiful benefits they receive from the state and federal government notwithstanding), but I think it was an example of why I no longer want to live in a place like Halfway anymore: too many people are paranoid about those who don't think like they do, and with that they seethe off of hate. It drives them in everyday life.
 
2013-05-02 01:53:22 AM
Wow.  How much derp can one city have?  This wasn't a single person, but multiple people together thought this was a good idea.  Just..wow.
 
2013-05-02 01:57:08 AM
What I find suspicious is how well the teachers took this little gag.  Whar outrage?
 
2013-05-02 01:58:20 AM

dfenstrate: Fark Me To Tears: FTFA: They weren't expecting a drill like this, and they were caught by surprise when the two men entered and began firing.

I think this would have been great if one of the teachers had whipped out her Glock and emptied her clip into the two volunteer fake gunmen. What could anyone have done? She would have been defending herself against an attack.

It's okay, schools are gun free zones. Shooters, real or fake, have little to worry about.


More than one Farker has claimed to carry in gun free zones. And that might be more common in a community that thinks an exercise like this is a good idea.
 
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