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(Metro)   School inspectors: The sooner we teach the children about porn and safe sex the better off we and the tissue manufacturers will be   (metro.co.uk) divider line 39
    More: Obvious, Ofsted, Department for Education, sex education, safer sex, sexual exploitation, lessons  
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3657 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2013 at 11:53 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-05-01 08:27:49 PM
We really have to teach our children safe porn. Saves the parents from having to ask why the computer is infected with a million viruses.
 
2013-05-01 09:06:22 PM
Growing up rural the mechanics were never a mystery, tell the young bucks how much a child costs. Dollars & dimes.

Condoms are cheap in comparison.
 
2013-05-01 10:00:44 PM
FTFA: It said the failure to discuss pornography was concerning 'as children as young as nine are increasingly accessing pornographic internet sites'.

Well, if they're accessing the sites already, why do we need to tell them about pr0n? Sounds like they've got it figured out already.

It's just like setting the clock on a VCR back in the old days: Just ask the kids.
 
2013-05-01 11:14:24 PM
"Without decent sex and relationships lessons pupils could be left open to 'sexual exploitation' or 'inappropriate behavior', the watchdog added. "

Yeah.  Just try ending your first sex session with your girl the same way they do in a porn video and see if she doesn't yank your scrotum off.
 
2013-05-01 11:57:51 PM
There should be mandatory sex ed in grade school. Teachers should perform live demonstrations. Then the kids should be given pornographic magazines, stripped of their clothes, and put two by two into special closets in which they can practice copulating with each other.

Anything less is doing a disservice to our children.
 
2013-05-01 11:58:04 PM
Sock manufacturers will be displeased though.
 
2013-05-01 11:59:04 PM
No the children must be ignorant of such things until age 17. Then they are told about pussy trolls.
 
2013-05-01 11:59:30 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: There should be mandatory sex ed in grade school. Teachers should perform live demonstrations. Then the kids should be given pornographic magazines, stripped of their clothes, and put two by two into special closets in which they can practice copulating with each other.

Anything less is doing a disservice to our children.


You sound like someone trying to solve the problem.

/quit that
 
2013-05-02 12:01:08 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: There should be mandatory sex ed in grade school. Teachers should perform live demonstrations. Then the kids should be given pornographic magazines, stripped of their clothes, and put two by two into special closets in which they can practice copulating with each other.

Anything less is doing a disservice to our children.


I was about to ask where you draw the line in acceptibke sex ed, but I think that about does it.
 
2013-05-02 12:01:52 AM

Steak_Cake_Sause: No the children must be ignorant of such things until age 17. Then they are told about pussy trolls.


I'm 34 and I have never heard of a pussy troll
 
2013-05-02 12:02:15 AM

Steak_Cake_Sause: No the children must be ignorant of such things until age 17. Then they are told about pussy trolls.


*shudder*  Those damned cooter Gollums...
 
2013-05-02 12:05:05 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: There should be mandatory sex ed in grade school. Teachers should perform live demonstrations. Then the kids should be given pornographic magazines, stripped of their clothes, and put two by two into special closets in which they can practice copulating with each other.


First thing that popped into my mind was an all-girls school!

I watch too much porn.
 
2013-05-02 12:06:45 AM

Revek: Sock manufacturers will be displeased though.


i291.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-02 12:09:55 AM

Thanks for the Meme-ries: Revek: Sock manufacturers will be displeased though.


That sock doesn't really look like a guys sock
 
2013-05-02 12:14:31 AM
www.rockymusic.org
 
2013-05-02 12:17:37 AM
So we can teach about sex and porn in our schools but not the word of our Lord Jesus Christ?

Welcome to Obozo's America.
 
2013-05-02 12:17:38 AM

1nsanilicious: That sock doesn't really look like a guys sock


You use a guy's sock? Gay
 
2013-05-02 12:21:22 AM

1nsanilicious: Thanks for the Meme-ries: Revek: Sock manufacturers will be displeased though.

That sock doesn't really look like a guys sock


Of course not. Using a man's sock would be gay. NTTAWWT.
Also, remember guys every time you masturbate you're touching a man's penis.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-02 12:24:15 AM
now-here-this.timeout.com
 
2013-05-02 12:27:00 AM
I discovered internet porn when I was about ten. It really changed my life.

Eighteen years later, I still have no friends, I've never been in a relationship, and I've never had sex. Probably never will.

Internet porn addiction is a serious problem.  Be sure to talk to your kids about it.

If only that was my excuse.
 
2013-05-02 12:45:25 AM
i18.photobucket.com
Yeah. I use a lot of Kleenex.
 
2013-05-02 12:47:46 AM
Slippery slope..
First they start with camgirls
Then they move to hardcore straight porn
Then they move to lesbian porn
Then they move to A2M and choking biatches with cocks
Then they move to bondage porn
Then they move to tranny porn
Finally, they move to bestiality before starting the cycle all over again because they're bored again
 
2013-05-02 12:56:32 AM

Omahawg: [www.rockymusic.org image 718x461]


Bloody hell, I'd forgotten all about that movie: the worst by far of everything the Pythons had to offer, and there in your picture is Michael Palin as a 40-year-old schoolboy. Whatever happened to the geniuses who came up with the Flying Circus, the Holy Grail and the Life of Brian? Do we inevitably become less funny and interesting once we get older and pass middle age (as witnessed by John Cleese's solo career)? All evidence, sadly, points to yes.
 
2013-05-02 01:01:06 AM

The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight: 1nsanilicious: That sock doesn't really look like a guys sock

You use a guy's sock? Gay


I actually use a girls vagina but why split hairs
 
2013-05-02 01:08:06 AM

AbiNormal: [now-here-this.timeout.com image 450x562]


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-02 01:09:14 AM

screwzloos: I discovered internet porn when I was about ten. It really changed my life.

Eighteen years later, I still have no friends, I've never been in a relationship, and I've never had sex. Probably never will.

Internet porn addiction is a serious problem.  Be sure to talk to your kids about it.

If only that was my excuse.


Marathon internet porn sessions allowed me to develop a level of control that a heart surgeon would envy.  With +- 2 seconds of precision, if you want a 30 second or a 3+ hour session, internet porn has made that possible.   Combine that with enough consumption of text based internet porn and I learned things which I never knew I never knew (and some never to be unseen) and I 've built up a toolset with enough options for just about anyone.

And the best part, for me at least, is figuring out just the right set of tools for the job.  Sometimes you get lucky and get it right at the start, sometimes it takes months to years to figure a person's particular quirks, but for me, that's the best damned part.  So here's to internet porn, without you I'd never have built up the massive recipe book for great sex that now resides in my brain.

But back on topic.  All hail internet porn.

/step 1:  Train your brain to not-recognize certain images.  Oh lord the amount of things which cannot be unseen...
 
2013-05-02 01:10:49 AM

1nsanilicious: The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight: 1nsanilicious: That sock doesn't really look like a guys sock

You use a guy's sock? Gay

I actually use a girls vagina but why split hairs


That sounds very Ed Gein-y
 
2013-05-02 01:20:59 AM

1nsanilicious: The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight: 1nsanilicious: That sock doesn't really look like a guys sock

You use a guy's sock? Gay

I actually use a girls vagina but why split hairs


Because she didn't shave that thing?
 
2013-05-02 01:21:59 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: There should be mandatory sex ed in grade school. Teachers should perform live demonstrations. Then the kids should be given pornographic magazines, stripped of their clothes, and put two by two into special closets in which they can practice copulating with each other.

Anything less is doing a disservice to our children.


You just described the first big kids party I was invited to in fifth grade. Got paired with my smoking hot 15yo neighbor. That was the high point of my life. I'm farking to pass time while waiting for death.
 
2013-05-02 01:23:08 AM

RatMaster999: Steak_Cake_Sause: No the children must be ignorant of such things until age 17. Then they are told about pussy trolls.

*shudder*  Those damned cooter Gollums...


They must have been stolen...
 
2013-05-02 01:23:31 AM

screwzloos: I discovered internet porn when I was about ten. It really changed my life.

Eighteen years later, I still have no friends, I've never been in a relationship, and I've never had sex. Probably never will.

Internet porn addiction is a serious problem.  Be sure to talk to your kids about it.

If only that was my excuse.


What do you do when the power goes out?
 
2013-05-02 02:33:19 AM

detritus: screwzloos: I discovered internet porn when I was about ten. It really changed my life.

Eighteen years later, I still have no friends, I've never been in a relationship, and I've never had sex. Probably never will.

Internet porn addiction is a serious problem.  Be sure to talk to your kids about it.

If only that was my excuse.

What do you do when the power goes out?


Alcohol helps a bit.
 
2013-05-02 02:47:42 AM
I think they should just have some sensible expert, such as Dr. Ruth, have a little TV show, maybe 5-10 minutes in length, where she answers sex-related questions or speaks briefly on the topic. Run it every Tuesday morning with the announcements after about seventh grade or so.

The kids will be at once well-informed and absolutely unable to imagine sex without a cheerful granny with an Israeli accent popping into their mind's eye.

I call that pretty farking effective.
 
2013-05-02 04:04:47 AM
Jimmy said if I wanted to see naked ladies I should go to... Gee ohh ayy tee ess see dot...

www.dreamstime.com


MOMMY! WAAAAAAAA!!!

/Welcome to therapy kid
 
2013-05-02 08:50:19 AM

Omahawg: [www.rockymusic.org image 718x461]


What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss?
 
2013-05-02 10:12:47 AM

AbiNormal: [now-here-this.timeout.com image 450x562]


Uh, I just threw up in my mouth a little...
 
2013-05-02 12:27:01 PM

1nsanilicious: Steak_Cake_Sause: No the children must be ignorant of such things until age 17. Then they are told about pussy trolls.

I'm 34 and I have never heard of a pussy troll


It's my understanding they haunt the politics tab.
 
2013-05-02 12:32:24 PM
People actually use socks? Really? I'd think that would chafe something awful.

And I'd also like to say that

[now-here-this.timeout.com image 450x562]

is the perfect explanation for why I have never been drunk in my life, and why I will continue to be the sober one at any gathering.

Someone  has to be sober enough to laugh at you when you're slobbering all over a wildebeest.
 
2013-05-02 04:14:47 PM
Alright, now, now listen, kids.  There's some things we need to put into context for you. You see, a man puts his penis into a woman's vagina for both love and pleasure.  But sometimes the woman lays on top of the man facing the other way so that they can put each other's genitals in their mouths.  Uh this is called "sixty-nining" and it's normal.  See kids, a woman is sensitive in her vagina and it... feels good to have a man's penis inside of it.  That's right, but sometimes a woman chooses to use other things. Telephones, staplers, magazines.  It's because the nerve endings in the vagina are so sensitive, it's like a fun tickle.  Now, on to double penetration, kids. You see, sometimes when a woman has sex with more than one man, each man makes love to a different orifice. That's right.  It's something adults can do with really good friends in a comfortable setting.  It's also important that you understand why some people choose to urinate on each other.  Going number 1 or number 2 on your lover is something people might do, but you must make sure your partner is okay with it before you start doing it.  Okay kids.  Do you have any questions?
 
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