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(Global News (Canada))   Now listen mate, I don't give a toad-in-the-'ole if he is 'armless, if 'e gets pranged by a lorry wif no belt on 'e'll be in a right state. Danger to 'imself 'e is   (globalnews.ca) divider line 49
    More: Asinine, Saskatoon, frogs, seat belts, risks  
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5628 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2013 at 5:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-01 05:10:53 PM  
Sign where?
 
2013-05-01 05:13:31 PM  
'e's only MOSTLY 'armless
 
2013-05-01 05:13:58 PM  
Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.
 
2013-05-01 05:14:49 PM  
you've been missing an arm for years and in all likelihood you're going to be missing it for life.  Get a damn seatbelt that works for you, a******.
 
2013-05-01 05:14:58 PM  
I see subby has entrapped me in a clever ruse, but then again the article writer got pretty convoluted also.
 
2013-05-01 05:17:50 PM  
Am I the only person who heard Michael Caine's voice while reading the headline?
 
2013-05-01 05:20:39 PM  
He has no right to bear arms.
 
2013-05-01 05:24:32 PM  

lostcat: Am I the only person who heard Michael Caine's voice while reading the headline?


I re-read this in his imagined voice just because you posted this!

In related news "I don't give a toad in the hole" has just entered my lexicon.
 
2013-05-01 05:25:08 PM  
I submitted this with a far less funny headline
 
2013-05-01 05:25:23 PM  
He's able to drive a car with no arms? The man must be hung like a horse.
 
2013-05-01 05:25:43 PM  
Sucks for him, but I'm sure that if he put some effort into it (perhaps even some elbow grease?) he could have gotten things straightened out before now.

/anyone wanna carpool to hell?
 
2013-05-01 05:28:43 PM  
If he can't even manage manage to put on a seat belt how can he text and drive?
 
2013-05-01 05:35:53 PM  
at this point, the seat belt is for our safety, it's to keep him from becoming a deadly projectile.
 
2013-05-01 05:36:34 PM  

OniExpress: /anyone wanna carpool to hell?


Sure.

At least the arresting officers were probably relieved. There's nothing that spooks cops quite like the possibility of an armed suspect.
 
2013-05-01 05:37:36 PM  

Plant Rights Activist: you've been missing an arm for years and in all likelihood you're going to be missing it for life.  Get a damn seatbelt that works for you, a******.


Yeah, I have to call BS.

My second-grade schoolteacher was born with no arms (one of the thalimide kids, I think). Anyway, she had a knob on her steering wheel, wrote on the chalkboard and the projector with her feet, and was willing to take us kids invidivually out on a short drive to show us how she does it (with parents permission--great teaching experience. This was also back when kids under 12 could still ride in the front seat. I'm told they can't anymore.)

Anyway, she wore a seatbelt. If she can figure it out, so can you.
 
2013-05-01 05:38:01 PM  
I don't get Subby's slang as this happened in Saskatoon. They don't talk funny there.
 
2013-05-01 05:40:02 PM  

Peki: Plant Rights Activist: you've been missing an arm for years and in all likelihood you're going to be missing it for life.  Get a damn seatbelt that works for you, a******.

Yeah, I have to call BS.

My second-grade schoolteacher was born with no arms (one of the thalimide kids, I think). Anyway, she had a knob on her steering wheel, wrote on the chalkboard and the projector with her feet, and was willing to take us kids invidivually out on a short drive to show us how she does it (with parents permission--great teaching experience. This was also back when kids under 12 could still ride in the front seat. I'm told they can't anymore.)

Anyway, she wore a seatbelt. If she can figure it out, so can you.


Took the kids individually? did she molest them?

/hot armless sex
//do NOT GIS that.
 
2013-05-01 05:41:41 PM  

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: Took the kids individually? did she molest them?


LOL.

No. We kids were perfectly well aware of who to avoid.
 
2013-05-01 05:44:07 PM  
Western Canadians have got to have the flattest accents ever.  What's with the headline, subby?  Have you been to my fair city?
 
2013-05-01 05:48:47 PM  

Spaced Lion: OniExpress: /anyone wanna carpool to hell?

Sure.

At least the arresting officers were probably relieved. There's nothing that spooks cops quite like the possibility of an armed suspect.


HAH!

But seriosuly; I rode in cars with auto-seatbelts (is that a pun?) in the mid 90s.  If the dude had been told about it multiple times, he should have gotten it taken care of.  Maybe he doesn't give a shiat, maybe he does.  It's as much for his own safety as it is for everyone else; what the heck happens if he gets knocked out of the seat?
 
2013-05-01 06:19:17 PM  
I picture this guy:
www.wearysloth.com
/was also the novelist in Life of Pi and the surly kid employee in Shaun of the Dead
 
2013-05-01 06:26:22 PM  

uncleacid: He has no right to bear arms.


agreed.. they belong to the bear...
 
2013-05-01 06:26:47 PM  
My sister in law (Bioatch) has a "helper" dog, for some imagined illness.  She and her husband love to travel and try to get hotels to tell them they can't have a dog in the room or in the restaurant, then they go all postal screaming about the Americans with Disabilities Act.  They don't put one of those vests on the dog that says it's a service dog, so my theory is her only disability is that she and her husband are both coonts and they're looking to cause trouble.

Maybe this guy has the same issue.
 
2013-05-01 06:37:53 PM  
Now listen mate, I don't give a toad-in-the-'ole if he is 'armless, if 'e gets pranged by a lorry wif no belt on 'e'll be in a right state. Danger to 'imself 'e is...

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
"I'm not your Mate, buddy."
 
2013-05-01 06:47:18 PM  
Just disappointing... I was looking forward to reading about some english craziness.

Instead I open to Canada... Fail...
 
2013-05-01 07:02:17 PM  

Rodeodoc: My sister in law (Bioatch) has a "helper" dog, for some imagined illness.  She and her husband love to travel and try to get hotels to tell them they can't have a dog in the room or in the restaurant, then they go all postal screaming about the Americans with Disabilities Act.  They don't put one of those vests on the dog that says it's a service dog, so my theory is her only disability is that she and her husband are both coonts and they're looking to cause trouble.

Maybe this guy has the same issue.


I'm pretty sure science has devised a test for "having no arms".

But I'm still guessing he just doesn't want to wear one or modify his car if he's able to drive without arms.
 
2013-05-01 07:14:42 PM  

lostcat: Am I the only person who heard Michael Caine's voice while reading the headline?


I went with Hugh Laurie.
 
2013-05-01 07:20:52 PM  
'Tis but a scratch.

A scratch? Your arm's off!

No it isn't.
 
2013-05-01 07:49:23 PM  

Rodeodoc: My sister in law (Bioatch) has a "helper" dog, for some imagined illness.  She and her husband love to travel and try to get hotels to tell them they can't have a dog in the room or in the restaurant, then they go all postal screaming about the Americans with Disabilities Act.  They don't put one of those vests on the dog that says it's a service dog, so my theory is her only disability is that she and her husband are both coonts and they're looking to cause trouble.

Maybe this guy has the same issue.


I bet he puts his arms in the glove box when he's pulled over jut to screw with the cops.
 
2013-05-01 07:54:02 PM  
Good thing they didn't cuff him.
 
2013-05-01 07:54:39 PM  
www.youdopia.com

Window seat, please.
 
2013-05-01 07:57:35 PM  
Cop must have been short on quota, honor, decency, intelligence... eh, pick one.
 
2013-05-01 08:02:31 PM  
They *heavily* modified the vehicle for him - steering wheel on the floor, for instance - and they couldn't figure out a simple automatic seat belt mechanism??

www.adclassix.com
 
2013-05-01 08:11:45 PM  

Plant Rights Activist: you've been missing an arm for years and in all likelihood you're going to be missing it for life.  Get a damn seatbelt that works for you, a******.

How does he get out in an emergency, FARKHEAD?

 
2013-05-01 08:11:47 PM  

some0nefamous: Just disappointing... I was looking forward to reading about some english craziness.

Instead I open to Canada... Fail...


THIS

EPIC FAIL SUBTARD
 
2013-05-01 08:11:50 PM  

lostcat: Am I the only person who heard Michael Caine's voice while reading the headline?


I heard Keith Moon singing Bellboy.
 
2013-05-01 08:38:20 PM  
Guy doesn't need a break; just give him a hand.
 
2013-05-01 09:36:47 PM  

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: /hot armless sex
//do NOT GIS that.


Too late...

Yes I would...

www.cornstar.com

And for added bonus:  Something's missing.
 
2013-05-01 10:17:37 PM  
In Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen.
 
2013-05-02 12:02:06 AM  
i157.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-02 04:20:15 AM  

fmk040: Western Canadians have got to have the flattest accents ever.  What's with the headline, subby?  Have you been to my fair city?


Saskatchewan's sort of in the middle of Canada, though it is west of Ontario. All depends on your reference.

As someone who lives on the west coast of BC, Saskies have a bit of an accent, comparatively, as a result of speaking a little slower, though their diction is just as awful.

/ Enunciate? What's that?
 
2013-05-02 04:46:59 AM  
As someone who lives in East London and understands cockney (I speak the more refined, 'Estuary English', myself), I am having trouble trying to understand what 'toad in the hole' means, in this context.

/Is it a special sort of Canadian Cockney?
 
2013-05-02 05:55:41 AM  
"Nobody ever gave me a seatbelt ticket because, you know, I can't wear one. I can't put it on,"

Bullshiat.  If Tisha can do it, so can you.
 
2013-05-02 07:51:29 AM  

Peki: Plant Rights Activist: you've been missing an arm for years and in all likelihood you're going to be missing it for life.  Get a damn seatbelt that works for you, a******.

Yeah, I have to call BS.

My second-grade schoolteacher was born with no arms (one of the thalimide kids, I think). Anyway, she had a knob on her steering wheel, wrote on the chalkboard and the projector with her feet, and was willing to take us kids invidivually out on a short drive to show us how she does it (with parents permission--great teaching experience. This was also back when kids under 12 could still ride in the front seat. I'm told they can't anymore.)

Anyway, she wore a seatbelt. If she can figure it out, so can you.


There's a big difference between someone who was born without arms and someone who had their arms removed later in life. Your teacher was probably very flexible due to her need to use her feet for everything since she was an infant. This guy was already grown by the time he lost his arms. He probably can't get his feet to do what your teacher could.
 
2013-05-02 08:23:40 AM  

sunderland56: They *heavily* modified the vehicle for him - steering wheel on the floor, for instance - and they couldn't figure out a simple automatic seat belt mechanism??

[www.adclassix.com image 400x542]


that's only the shoulder strap.  the lap belt still has to be put on manually.  without the lap belt, the shoulder strap can itself inflict some pretty serious injuries in an accident.
 
2013-05-02 08:32:31 AM  
If we're all sufficiently outraged now, TFA actually says that he got a ticket because he didn't update his red tape, not because he's driving without a seatbelt. Pay the fine, get the paperwork straight, and off you go, armless wonder.

furterfan: As someone who lives in East London and understands cockney (I speak the more refined, 'Estuary English', myself), I am having trouble trying to understand what 'toad in the hole' means, in this context.

/Is it a special sort of Canadian Cockney?


Once you go with 'armless, you've pretty much dedicated yourself to Cockney. And "toad in the hole" in Ignert American means, "impossible to decipher English phrase, as wot a London bobby might say." I'd have gone with "Richard the Third."
 
2013-05-02 09:30:33 AM  
FTA "He earlier fought a parking fine in court, arguing he was unable to plug coins in the meter, he said. He lost. "

Seriously, I feel bad for the guy, but he can't just go around thinking things don't apply to him and getting outraged when someone calls him out on it.
 
2013-05-02 12:19:41 PM  
Is his name Matt?

/never mind - still has legs
 
2013-05-02 02:20:09 PM  

gh0strid3r: There's a big difference between someone who was born without arms and someone who had their arms removed later in life. Your teacher was probably very flexible due to her need to use her feet for everything since she was an infant. This guy was already grown by the time he lost his arms. He probably can't get his feet to do what your teacher could.


Then how does he drive, if not with his feet?

And my teacher had hooks for hands, could still get the seatbelt on.

/first thought was actually: Wait? He doesn't have a prosthesis he could use?
//admittedly completely ignorant about what it's actually like to be someone without a limb, so I don't know the logistics of actually getting a prothesis, or even if most. . . is there a more general term than amputee? so we can include people who didn't lose a limb, just born without? . . . or even if most people want one. . Feel free to educate me.
 
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