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(Washington Post)   Next year, let's celebrate an authentic Thanksgiving just like the original Jamestown colonists did: by eating a teenage girl   ( washingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Jamestown, Thanksgiving, National Museum of Natural History, physical anthropologist, skeletons, iterative reconstruction, lower jaw, eating  
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5815 clicks; posted to Geek » on 01 May 2013 at 2:57 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-01 12:33:54 PM  
i1038.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-01 12:40:36 PM  
"The girl, most likely a maidservant"

Well she certainly served well, or was well served.
 
2013-05-01 01:00:09 PM  

ginandbacon: "The girl, most likely a maidservant"

Well she certainly served well, or was well served.


Yeah, that would suck. "Oh, I see that you're pretty low on the social ladder. You'll make a fine meal."
 
2013-05-01 01:05:13 PM  

naughtyrev: ginandbacon: "The girl, most likely a maidservant"

Well she certainly served well, or was well served.

Yeah, that would suck. "Oh, I see that you're pretty low on the social ladder. You'll make a fine meal."


You really have to wonder how much meat she would have had on her too. I mean she'd probably just finished her last growth spurt (or was just entering it? I'm not sure when menses began back then,) and I doubt she got first pick of whatever food they had until it ran out.
 
2013-05-01 01:41:55 PM  

naughtyrev: ginandbacon: "The girl, most likely a maidservant"

Well she certainly served well, or was well served.

Yeah, that would suck. "Oh, I see that you're pretty low on the social ladder. You'll make a fine meal."


Which is unbelievably stupid. Poor people weren't fat like they are now. Poor people were underweight and probably stringy. What you REALLY needed was the spoiled son of a wealthy landowner to get in a horrible accident and be functionally brain dead.
 
2013-05-01 01:51:55 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-01 02:50:00 PM  
does anyone have a good recipie for a soylent green turkey stuffing?
 
2013-05-01 02:58:20 PM  
TFA: "The girl's bones were found mixed with those of a horse, dogs and squirrels - testament to the extreme food sources the colonists turned to that winter. "

They turned to squirrels as an extreme food source?  I have three packages of "extreme food source" in my freezer right now...
 
2013-05-01 03:02:57 PM  
I Virginia Dare you to go there
 
2013-05-01 03:07:28 PM  
I would, but the law says they aren't old enough to ride my moustache.
 
2013-05-01 03:07:49 PM  
I thought the events at Camp Chippewa took place l the '90s. Hardly authentic...
 
2013-05-01 03:08:30 PM  

UberDave: TFA: "The girl's bones were found mixed with those of a horse, dogs and squirrels - testament to the extreme food sources the colonists turned to that winter. "

They turned to squirrels as an extreme food source?  I have three packages of "extreme food source" in my freezer right now...


"Extreme Food Source" sounds like something you'd buy at GNC.

/it's powdered squirrel
 
2013-05-01 03:08:58 PM  
I submitted this with a ...worse headline.

/Kudos subby, I smiled
 
2013-05-01 03:09:33 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: naughtyrev: ginandbacon: "The girl, most likely a maidservant"

Well she certainly served well, or was well served.

Yeah, that would suck. "Oh, I see that you're pretty low on the social ladder. You'll make a fine meal."

Which is unbelievably stupid. Poor people weren't fat like they are now. Poor people were underweight and probably stringy. What you REALLY needed was the spoiled son of a wealthy landowner to get in a horrible accident and be functionally brain dead.


Do we have a volunteer? You, Sir!

www.epm.org
 
2013-05-01 03:09:38 PM  
Oh, and for some reason...I read that in Mayor Adam West's voice...
 
2013-05-01 03:13:03 PM  

UberDave: TFA: "The girl's bones were found mixed with those of a horse, dogs and squirrels - testament to the extreme food sources the colonists turned to that winter. "

They turned to squirrels as an extreme food source?  I have three packages of "extreme food source" in my freezer right now...


Since their numbers dropped from over 300 to just 60 over a 4-month winter, yeah...I'm gonna concede things got pretty extreme.
 
2013-05-01 03:15:10 PM  
From TFA comments...

It just goes to show that people will be innovative and industrious in supporting themselves if we can just get rid of this safety net.

Sincerely,

Paul Ryan


I LOLed.
 
2013-05-01 03:15:46 PM  
Extreme Food Source is the name of my Blue Oyster Cult tribute band.
 
2013-05-01 03:16:46 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: UberDave: TFA: "The girl's bones were found mixed with those of a horse, dogs and squirrels - testament to the extreme food sources the colonists turned to that winter. "

They turned to squirrels as an extreme food source?  I have three packages of "extreme food source" in my freezer right now...

"Extreme Food Source" sounds like something you'd buy at GNC.

/it's powdered squirrel


Except it would be spelled "X-TREEM FOOD SOURCE" with lightning bolts and metallic ink and everything.
 
2013-05-01 03:17:59 PM  

FrancoFile: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: UberDave: TFA: "The girl's bones were found mixed with those of a horse, dogs and squirrels - testament to the extreme food sources the colonists turned to that winter. "

They turned to squirrels as an extreme food source?  I have three packages of "extreme food source" in my freezer right now...

"Extreme Food Source" sounds like something you'd buy at GNC.

/it's powdered squirrel

Except it would be spelled "X-TREEM FOOD SOURCE" with lightning bolts and metallic ink and everything.


I seriously ate this yesterday:

www.olemexicanfoods.com
 
2013-05-01 03:18:42 PM  
Pssst, subby.  Thanksgiving isn't about the settlers in Jamestown.
 
2013-05-01 03:20:00 PM  

ginandbacon: You really have to wonder how much meat she would have had on her too. I mean she'd probably just finished her last growth spurt (or was just entering it? I'm not sure when menses began back then,) and I doubt she got first pick of whatever food they had until it ran out.


well, it sounds like the bone evidence indicates she was dead when she was cut up. So if she was a maid servant, she would have had no family on hand to object to her corpse being eaten. if she was 14 and not wealthy, she would have died more easily than someone who was a bit older and in better health to start with. i can see reasons why she might be picked despite maybe not being the choice morsel.
 
2013-05-01 03:22:22 PM  

naughtyrev: Extreme Food Source is the name of my Blue Oyster Cult tribute band.


Apparently they left parts of her on the grill for those who like their meat well cooked.  She's burning, she's burning, she's burning for you...
 
2013-05-01 03:23:37 PM  

ShawnDoc: Pssst, subby.  Thanksgiving isn't about the settlers in Jamestown.


i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-05-01 03:28:34 PM  

FrancoFile: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: UberDave: TFA: "The girl's bones were found mixed with those of a horse, dogs and squirrels - testament to the extreme food sources the colonists turned to that winter. "

They turned to squirrels as an extreme food source?  I have three packages of "extreme food source" in my freezer right now...

"Extreme Food Source" sounds like something you'd buy at GNC.

/it's powdered squirrel

Except it would be spelled "X-TREEM FOOD SOURCE" with lightning bolts and metallic ink and everything.


and it comes in flavors like 'manana' 'gun' and 'lightning'
 
2013-05-01 03:29:10 PM  

ShawnDoc: Pssst, subby.  Thanksgiving isn't about the settlers in Jamestown.


Wikipedia:
Thanksgiving services were routine in what was to become the Commonwealth of Virginia as early as 1607, with the first permanent settlement of Jamestown, Virginia holding a thanksgiving in 1610.
 
2013-05-01 03:30:07 PM  
Why would they do that? What with all the dinosaurs roaming around?

I don't believe it.
 
2013-05-01 03:32:23 PM  

my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food: I submitted this with a ...worse headline.

/Kudos subby, I smiled


Apparently you lost the Lottery.
 
2013-05-01 03:32:44 PM  
i429.photobucket.com

/ Oh, not that kind of eating.
 
2013-05-01 03:33:24 PM  

tlchwi02: well, it sounds like the bone evidence indicates she was dead when she was cut up.


Well, if you try to cut a woman up before you kill her you really increase the difficulty level. I mean, they squirm a lot, and if you forgot the gag there's a lot of screaming and so on.
 
2013-05-01 03:33:47 PM  
But did that bring back their precious honey?
 
2013-05-01 03:46:38 PM  
www.eldersignspress.com
"Well, I'd certainly say she had marvelous judgment, Albert, if not particularly good taste.  "
 
2013-05-01 03:48:02 PM  
Or it was just murder
Or an attack by natives
Or she was a witch
 
2013-05-01 03:49:41 PM  
englishesf.wikispaces.com

Feels vindicated.
 
2013-05-01 03:50:09 PM  
At least a half-dozen accounts, by people who lived through the period or spoke to colonists who did, describe occasional acts of cannibalism that winter.

It's all right here:
www.seefirstblog.com
 
2013-05-01 03:50:15 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: naughtyrev: ginandbacon: "The girl, most likely a maidservant"

Well she certainly served well, or was well served.

Yeah, that would suck. "Oh, I see that you're pretty low on the social ladder. You'll make a fine meal."

Which is unbelievably stupid. Poor people weren't fat like they are now. Poor people were underweight and probably stringy. What you REALLY needed was the spoiled son of a wealthy landowner to get in a horrible accident and be functionally brain dead.


I'm pretty sure there were no wealthy landowners in Jamestown in 1607
 
2013-05-01 03:55:30 PM  

I Ate Shergar: ShawnDoc: Pssst, subby.  Thanksgiving isn't about the settlers in Jamestown.

Wikipedia:
Thanksgiving services were routine in what was to become the Commonwealth of Virginia as early as 1607, with the first permanent settlement of Jamestown, Virginia holding a thanksgiving in 1610.


yep, but the real first one was up river, closer to Richmond at what would become Berkley Plantaition.
 
2013-05-01 03:57:03 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-01 03:58:24 PM  
Girl meets grill.
 
2013-05-01 04:03:17 PM  
Next year, subby? Why not this year? Too late to find a teenager to fatten up by November? Is 7 months not enough time?
 
2013-05-01 04:05:57 PM  

Dr Dreidel: Next year, subby? Why not this year? Too late to find a teenager to fatten up by November? Is 7 months not enough time?


It eats its cornmeal gruel or else it gets the hose again
 
2013-05-01 04:12:52 PM  

ShawnDoc: Pssst, subby.  Thanksgiving isn't about the settlers in Jamestown.


Yeah..Thanksgiving WAS the settlers in Jamestown.
 
2013-05-01 04:12:55 PM  

GardenWeasel: Or it was just murder
Or an attack by natives
Or she was a witch


But did she weigh the same as a duck?
 
2013-05-01 04:13:08 PM  
If I remember correctly, isn't "jungly" at that age? or do they now "trim" before being cannibalized?
 
2013-05-01 04:22:33 PM  

findthefish: ShawnDoc: Pssst, subby.  Thanksgiving isn't about the settlers in Jamestown.

Yeah..Thanksgiving WAS the settlers in Jamestown.


Yeah, and they did it before it was mainstream.
 
2013-05-01 04:27:30 PM  
userserve-ak.last.fm

Approves
 
2013-05-01 04:31:44 PM  
FirstNationalBastard:

Someone needs to 'shop him in Colonial Settler garb.
 
2013-05-01 04:44:38 PM  

GardenWeasel: Or it was just murder
Or an attack by natives
Or she was a witch


What they're describing is damage to the bones more consistent with butchering than with mere violence. A similar sort of case is the Cowboy Wash site, probably the best evidence for cannibalism among the ancestral Puebloans; bones were found with cut marks, such as you would find if the meat had been deliberately cut off, and others were pot-polished, as one would expect if they were cooked in a clay pot. The real clincher with Cowboy Wash was a human coprolite that contained human myoglobin; I guess they don't have anything like that here. They aren't claiming that they have absolute proof, though, and given that and also the fact that there were contemporary reports of cannibalism it seems to me that speculation as to alternative explanations is uncalled for, childish even. Face it, man: sometimes people eat people.
 
2013-05-01 04:45:00 PM  
Came for the Twilight Zone reference, leaving hungry.
 
2013-05-01 04:49:51 PM  
I haven't done that since high school...
 
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