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(New York Daily News)   Giving five-year-old "My First Rifle" yields predictable results   (nydailynews.com) divider line 64
    More: Sad, Kentucky, Lexington Herald-Leader, .22 Long Rifle  
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12255 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2013 at 11:44 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-05-01 11:08:53 AM
28 votes:
this wouldn't have happened if the two-year-old had been carrying.
2013-05-01 10:55:33 AM
20 votes:
You should see the bill from the taxidermist.
2013-05-01 11:51:13 AM
15 votes:
The 5 year-old had a clean record.  Background checks wouldn't have prevented this.
2013-05-01 11:06:08 AM
14 votes:
That toddler was coming right at him.
2013-05-01 11:54:59 AM
10 votes:
Kentucky's "Stand your Playground" law at work.
2013-05-01 11:55:51 AM
9 votes:
i108.photobucket.com
 Unavailable for comment
2013-05-01 11:18:20 AM
9 votes:

Marcus Aurelius: jehovahs witness protection: You should see the bill from the taxidermist.

"He gonna have a heart attack when he sees what I brung him!"


How farked would that be if the parents did have the toddler stuffed and kept it in the house?  Like make the older kid apologize to his stuffed dead sister every day.
2013-05-01 11:11:31 AM
9 votes:
The only solution to a bad five year old with a gun is a good five year old with a gun.
2013-05-01 11:29:33 AM
8 votes:
When we ban guns for 5-year-olds, only criminal 5-year-olds will have guns!
2013-05-01 11:50:22 AM
6 votes:
Once I doused my house in gasoline and gave a 5 year old a pack of matches to play with. Long story short, just one of those crazy accidents.
2013-05-01 11:13:02 AM
6 votes:
Wait wait wait, I have another.  When will Obama call this a terrorist act?
2013-05-01 12:13:59 PM
5 votes:
I've learned two things form conservatives on Fark today:

15-year-olds are too young to be trusted with birth control.

And

5-year-olds are adult enough to be trusted with guns.
2013-05-01 11:52:05 AM
4 votes:
Well, it's not like you could give the kid hand grenades. Their hands are too small.
2013-05-01 11:49:04 AM
4 votes:
This is just a necessary sacrifice of responsible gun ownership. To NOT allow the five year old to have a gun would have been a GRAVE violation of the 2nd amendment.
2013-05-01 11:40:50 AM
4 votes:
Ma, come quick I accidentally instilled safety into the mind!
2013-05-01 12:11:30 PM
3 votes:
Maybe the safety failed, children's weapons are often not manufactured to the same rigorous quality standards as the real thing...hell, two of the Hello Kitty hand grenades I bought last week went off in the car on the way home...
2013-05-01 11:58:48 AM
3 votes:
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STEAL MY JELLO.
2013-05-01 12:09:59 PM
2 votes:

hardinparamedic: graeth: Bullshiat; I understood death at 5; its all on the shoulders of parenting.

Well, I'm glad your anecdotal claim as an adult invalidates decades of psychiatric and developmental psychology research on the subject.

Good thing we had you come into this thread to clear that up.


Well, it's a good bet the kid understands death NOW, isn't it?
2013-05-01 12:07:35 PM
2 votes:

dittybopper: ///littlebopper got his first .22 at age 8.


Did you let him play with it alone?

chickenhead.com
2013-05-01 11:56:29 AM
2 votes:
When I'm dealing with a kid who makes the task of opening a tube of GoGurt look like the end of a porno movie, giving him a deadly firearm wouldn't be my first thought.
2013-05-01 11:55:24 AM
2 votes:

the_immoral_minority: Who was the philosopher that said "There are no accidents"

Spot on here


Bob Ross.
2013-05-01 11:52:10 AM
2 votes:
my five year old will learn to shoot eventually.

he's still mastering tooth brushing, how to tie his own shoes, wiping his ass after a dump, choosing appropriate clothes to go outside.

I put gun safety a little bit later, myself.
2013-05-01 11:50:50 AM
2 votes:

Satanic_Hamster: James!: How farked would that be if the parents did have the toddler stuffed and kept it in the house? Like make the older kid apologize to his stuffed dead sister every day.

Can you even do that?  I mean, get a person stuffed or have their head mounted?


Can't think of any reason you couldn't. You can get your miscarried child mounted in a "memory box", so I can imagine having a kid taxidermied would be possible.
2013-05-01 11:50:49 AM
2 votes:

James!: So the solution to the gun problem is better mental health services in the US but giving a gun to a kinder-gardener is A-OK?


I blame video games.  If not for violent, hyper-realistic video games like Big Bird Teaches Typing, this kid never would have committed this atrocious but totally unforeseeable act.
2013-05-02 12:22:44 AM
1 votes:
Call me old-fashioned, but my 'first gun' was a Nerf product. Actually, my first SEVERAL guns were Nerf or Super Soaker products. Why any parent wouldn't want to save money and avoid noise by getting one of them instead of a .22 for a five-year-old, I will never know.

And you know, what with the ammunition shortages, I'm kind of glad I hung onto them. Sure, they aren't the SAME, but they're still fun, plus you can let your little nieces and nephews play 'Most Dangerous Game' with their Auntie and nobody calls the fuzz.
2013-05-01 07:16:48 PM
1 votes:

pedrop357: loaba: A 5-yr old should never have had unsupervised access to a loaded weapon. That's it, that's all there is to it. Plain and simple common sense says that any and all gun-based activities should be with an adult. This kid killed his sister and it is completely mom and dad's fault. They were negligent.

This.


It's assholes like this that make the dozens of responsible gun owners in this country look bad.
2013-05-01 07:05:59 PM
1 votes:
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. and once America has an Army, the second amendment shall be abolished.
/Now wipe the derp off of your pants, you bedshiatting gun-tards.
2013-05-01 03:39:09 PM
1 votes:
Personally, I don't think the problem is with the guns or the horrible parents.  I think our biggest problem is with the dead kids.  I mean, once we get past our selfish outrage over one or two fatalities a week and start seeing these kids as reminders of the importance of our Constitutional freedoms, I'm positive we'll learn to view these dead little bastards as the heroes they deserve to be.

It's one thing for a soldier to die while fighting to keep America and her freedoms safe.  It's a much greater sacrifice for a child to give his or her life to show us just what it is that soldier is fighting and dying for in the first place.

We can't become complacent.  We can't afford it.  So, I propose that the next time a child catches a slug through their as-yet unformed brains, we stand tall and say "Thank you!  Thank you for showing us how valuable our freedoms truly are!  Without your simple death, how else would Americans be able to fully appreciate all that we have?"
2013-05-01 02:18:29 PM
1 votes:

Rurouni: This isn't a gun issue.

This is a parenting issue.

The end.


Yes, if this kid hadn't had access to a gun, he would have just killed his sister some other way.  *snert*
2013-05-01 01:48:30 PM
1 votes:
I plan on digging a 20 foot pit in the kitchen (2 feet wide) and then I'm gonna run to the store for a bit while my toddlers supervise themselves.

I HOPE NO CRAZY ACCIDENTS HAPPEN AND IF THEY DO I'M CERTAINLY EXPECTING TO AVOID PROSECUTION.

/less than 5 children per year are killed by kitchen pits
2013-05-01 01:35:25 PM
1 votes:
daydreamertoo.files.wordpress.com

Merry Xmas! Say hello to my little elf!
2013-05-01 01:11:20 PM
1 votes:

mbillips: Five, dude. Five years old. You can't teach a 5-year-old not to crap his pants with 100 percent success. You buy a rifle for a 5-year-old, you should get a stern talking-to from DFCS. Eight is another thing entirely, but no kid should have unsupervised access to firearms and ammo.


Well certainly not the ammo. It's a choking hazard.
2013-05-01 01:07:21 PM
1 votes:

pedrop357: crzybtch: However, if you throw out a vote for a law that gun and cars are banned for all until age 21, you get my vote. Call me an idiot, but I want less dead children.

That being said, for you to compare teenagers getting killed in car wrecks versus a FIVE year old killing his little sister with a gun, I think you really need to think a little harder about the difference between the two. Seriously!

Vehicles are the cause of death for 4-26 year olds.  Lots of small children in there.  Far more 4-11 year olds killed in car crashes than killed in gun accidents.

Car crashes are the 2nd and/or 3rd leading cause of death for 0-4 year olds.  Gun accidents are literally one in a million events.

If you actually cared about saving lives, you'd be more interested in the things that 'killed' hundreds of young children and not the thing that 'kills' under 50.


OMFG!!! seriously? another but car/toaster/baseball bats kill more kids retortt!

www.troll.me
2013-05-01 12:52:01 PM
1 votes:

pedrop357: Cupajo: No, but I would certainly criticize parents for allowing their kids to drive cars, and I would most assuredly criticize a company that produces, markets and sells a fully functional car designed especially for 5-year-olds.
You really can't be so daft that you don't recognize the difference, right?

I do see the difference.  But, when kids are left in a car and cause it to move, or snag the keys and cause some kind of injury or death, the parents are blamed and it pretty much ends their.  No one starts blaming the "car lobby" or engaging in various diatribes against car ownership or the fact that ANYONE can buy a car.
It doesn't happen when parents give their teenager a car either.

When guns are involved, you can expect all kinds of half baked attacks on the NRA, gun owners, idiotic strawmen about how if the 2 year old was armed, etc.  It's plainly obvious that it's about guns and a political agenda and not about saving lives or protecting children.


Let me know when Ford starting making and marketing fully functional cars for 5yr olds. Then I'll blame the "car lobby"
2013-05-01 12:43:12 PM
1 votes:

Tman144: Why wouldn't you just get the kid a BB gun? What could you possibly be doing at 5 years old that you couldn't do with a BB gun? It's like giving a 5yr old a Kawasaki instead of a tricycle. They're called "baby steps" for a reason.


static.giantbomb.com

Agrees.

There'll be plenty of time when he's older, and finds Power Armor.
2013-05-01 12:37:28 PM
1 votes:

pedrop357: Lord_Baull: pedrop357: Dusk-You-n-Me: [i.imgur.com image 530x453]

I've been assured that nothing can be done and this is just the price we pay for freedom.

Don't tell him about the hundreds of kids who die in car crashes.


If only there was some sort of government regulation to make cars as safe as possible and limit the number of needless deaths!

Yes, and it's doing a wonderful job.  Hundreds dead, thousands injured.
Repeat with things like pools, bathtubs and buckets and their role in small children drowning

Guns which number in the hundreds of millions are responsible for about 40-50 deaths each year,  and that is where everyone really wants to focus?  Perhaps a little perspective is called for.  Parents should be definitely more responsible, but given that we tolerate far more deaths due to accident in other areas, I can't help but wonder why the high priority given to gun accidents.


Ladies and gentlemen, the stereotypical libertarian.
2013-05-01 12:36:32 PM
1 votes:

noitsnot: Itstoearly: hardinparamedic: This was a triumph.

I'm making a note here, huge success.

It's hard to understate my satisfaction.

For the good of all of us...

(EXCEPT FOR THOSE THAT ARE DEAD)

kbronsito: or neglect to teach a gun owner that you never ever, ever point a gun at another human even if you think it is unloaded (unless your intent is to actually shoot that person)

No offense, but perhaps five years old is a little too young to try to teach a child to do anything with a firearm but stay away from them and call an adult if they see one.

If he's too young to understand the gravitas of a concept such as death, then he's too young to play with a bang stick.

Bull.  5 years is old enough to teach how to properly handle a gun.  Not that I would ever trust one alone with one without adult supervision, but a five year old certainly has the mental capacity to learn "Don't point at people or animals, don't hold the trigger unless you are aiming at the paper target, assume there is always a bullet in the gun"

No Bull. Have a look here at the emotional development of a five year old. They have not yet learned the concept of death. They cannot yet view the world from another's point of view. They do not understand ethical or moral values.


Yes. But is a 5-year old able to understand that you'll take the gun away forever and whoop his ass if he touches it w/o an adult present.

Of course... if the kid knows that you'll take his gun away to whoop his ass... he may shoot you to protect his gun ownership right and to keep you from whooping him. I guess it is a bit of a conundrum.
2013-05-01 12:33:44 PM
1 votes:

BraveNewCheneyWorld: Do you have proof that the laws do anything?


We really need to eliminate homicide laws. We're punishing the responsible killers while criminals will kill regardless of the law.
2013-05-01 12:31:57 PM
1 votes:

the_immoral_minority: Who was the philosopher that said "There are no accidents"

Spot on here


That was the turtle in "Kung Fu Panda."

Still spot on.
2013-05-01 12:31:16 PM
1 votes:

Clemkadidlefark: My First Car yields predictable results

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/10583657/ns/dateline_nbc/t/car-crash-trail -b roken-lives/

Shall we examine Statistics which is deadlier, or just flame gun owners, because that's what the new meme is?



1. Cars/Guns comparison is stupid. Cars have a primary use of transportation. Guns have a primary use of firing bullets.

2. No one gives a car to a 5 year old or tries to teach a five year old to drive.

3. We do require licensing to drive a car.
2013-05-01 12:19:43 PM
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: You can get your miscarried child mounted in a "memory box"


I'll have you know it's called a dead babyquarium.
2013-05-01 12:09:18 PM
1 votes:
Hey, already got that "My First Manslaughter" out of the way too.  Making progress kid.
2013-05-01 12:06:08 PM
1 votes:
The tree of Freedom is watered with the blood of innocents.
2013-05-01 12:02:01 PM
1 votes:
Shut up and buy more guns ya pussys.
2013-05-01 12:01:34 PM
1 votes:

James!: So the solution to the gun problem is better mental health services in the US but giving a gun to a kinder-gardener is A-OK?


If we had better mental health services, the parents would likely have been flagged.
2013-05-01 12:01:31 PM
1 votes:

Shrugging Atlas: What a crazy accident!  Just crazy I tells ya!


Couldn't have been prevented, no sir!  It was like God wanted that kid to murder that baby.
2013-05-01 11:59:45 AM
1 votes:
i39.tinypic.com
2013-05-01 11:58:41 AM
1 votes:

hardinparamedic: This was a triumph.

I'm making a note here, huge success.

It's hard to understate my satisfaction.

For the good of all of us...

(EXCEPT FOR THOSE THAT ARE DEAD)

kbronsito: or neglect to teach a gun owner that you never ever, ever point a gun at another human even if you think it is unloaded (unless your intent is to actually shoot that person)

No offense, but perhaps five years old is a little too young to try to teach a child to do anything with a firearm but stay away from them and call an adult if they see one.

If he's too young to understand the gravitas of a concept such as death, then he's too young to play with a bang stick.


Bull.  5 years is old enough to teach how to properly handle a gun.  Not that I would ever trust one alone with one without adult supervision, but a five year old certainly has the mental capacity to learn "Don't point at people or animals, don't hold the trigger unless you are aiming at the paper target, assume there is always a bullet in the gun"
2013-05-01 11:58:24 AM
1 votes:
dittybopper:
/Of course, shouldn't have been any ammo in the room
//Should have been very supervised at that age.


That sounds like socialism to me.  Why do you hate the 2nd Amendment?
2013-05-01 11:58:04 AM
1 votes:

Clemkadidlefark: My First Car yields predictable results

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/10583657/ns/dateline_nbc/t/car-crash-trail -b roken-lives/

Shall we examine Statistics which is deadlier, or just flame gun owners, because that's what the new meme is?


Funny how no one is saying ban guns, only attacking the irresponsibility and negligence of a parent.

But hey, that's just because we watched Sesame Street as a kid and learned how to tell "One of these things is not like the other", and not Bernie's Right Wing Christian Hate Fest on TBN.
2013-05-01 11:57:21 AM
1 votes:
Itstoearly:
I think teaching kids all about firearms at a young age is good because it takes the "mystery" out of guns.  Like abstinence-only education, kids are

Oh man, I remember when I was a dumb 14 year old, me and the girl next door sneaked into her parent's shed and totally shot each other with her dad's hunting rifle. Man, to be young again!
2013-05-01 11:57:02 AM
1 votes:

radarlove: When we ban guns for 5-year-olds, only criminal 5-year-olds will have guns!


Just ban 5-year olds!
2013-05-01 11:56:29 AM
1 votes:
Brilliant work stopping that tyranny before she could mature into something more dangerous to our American way of life.  This boy should get a parade and a seat on the NRA Board of Directors.

The important thing is that this five year old's Second Amendment rights (bestowed in love from Jesus himself) weren't infringed upon by some lackwitted, goosestepping Obamanaut
2013-05-01 11:56:18 AM
1 votes:

darth_badger: And all Ralphie got was a Daisy Red Rider BB gun .


"You'll shoot your sister's brain and eye out, kid!"
2013-05-01 11:54:58 AM
1 votes:
And all Ralphie got was a Daisy Red Rider BB gun .
2013-05-01 11:53:29 AM
1 votes:
Maybe it was self defense
2013-05-01 11:53:12 AM
1 votes:
Imagine the havoc he could gave wrought if he had been given a Kinder Surprise.
2013-05-01 11:53:00 AM
1 votes:

Felgraf: This is just a necessary sacrifice of responsible gun ownership. To NOT allow the five year old to have a gun would have been a GRAVE violation of the 2nd amendment.


I'm offended his communist pinko parents gave him such a european sissy gun like a 22

Real American shoot the AR15 and its 30 round clips of .223
2013-05-01 11:52:30 AM
1 votes:
came for photo of dittybopper as an infant holding a rifle

shoot my frown up side down
2013-05-01 11:51:07 AM
1 votes:
These parents get to keep both their firearms and children.  That's part of a healthy society, right?
2013-05-01 11:49:01 AM
1 votes:
Future responsible gun owner.
hej
2013-05-01 11:46:21 AM
1 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: You should see the bill from the taxidermist.


Thanks.  Now we're both going to hell.
2013-05-01 11:45:42 AM
1 votes:
Literally a child too young to control it's bladder has a firearm and that's perfectly fine.
2013-05-01 11:15:58 AM
1 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: You should see the bill from the taxidermist.


"He gonna have a heart attack when he sees what I brung him!"
 
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