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(Atlanta Journal Constitution)   Woman violates the first commandment to get her hands on the other nine   (ajc.com) divider line 62
    More: Dumbass, Bibles, Powder Springs, Cobb County, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution  
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10248 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2013 at 10:52 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-01 10:49:57 AM
Kind of a chicken and egg scenario. If she never had access to a Bible, how would she know that stealing is against one of its commandments?
 
2013-05-01 10:55:45 AM
Apparently she doesn't realize that she could get one for free by walking in and asking for one from church, or staying one night in a hotel room.
 
2013-05-01 10:55:57 AM
Subby failed Sunday School, apparently.
 
2013-05-01 10:56:02 AM
I'm confused, how did she violate "I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no other gods before me"?
 
2013-05-01 10:56:19 AM
That's not the first commandment.
 
2013-05-01 10:56:47 AM
I'm an atheist and I know that's not the first commandment.
 
2013-05-01 10:57:14 AM
What she violated "Thou shall not fark a wombat?"
 
2013-05-01 10:58:03 AM
www.ghastlycomic.com

Really subby?
 
2013-05-01 10:58:16 AM
First commandment. You know, freedom of religion.
 
2013-05-01 10:58:42 AM
@NumberFiveIsAlive: Also, public domain editions of the bible and the open english bible are downloadable at your local internets
 
2013-05-01 10:58:42 AM

NumberFiveIsAlive: Apparently she doesn't realize that she could get one for free by walking in and asking for one from church, or staying one night in a hotel room.


For realz. Any church will happily give you one.
 
2013-05-01 10:59:46 AM
I'm pretty sure the first commandment is the one about homosexuality or possibly voting in favor of abortion rights.
 
2013-05-01 10:59:57 AM

NumberFiveIsAlive: Apparently she doesn't realize that she could get one for free by walking in and asking for one from church, or staying one night in a hotel room.


Faith-based thrift stores generally give them away for free.
 
2013-05-01 11:01:02 AM
The first three commandments are all about being god's biatch.

Not stealing, one of the three useful ones, is well down the list and was part of society long before the bible was invented.
 
2013-05-01 11:01:02 AM

PIP_the_TROLL: NumberFiveIsAlive: Apparently she doesn't realize that she could get one for free by walking in and asking for one from church, or staying one night in a hotel room.

For realz. Any church will happily give you one.


But if you steal one, you don't have to put up with some jagoff telling you what parts to embrace and which to ignore.
 
2013-05-01 11:01:41 AM
Goddamn it!
 
2013-05-01 11:01:50 AM

Super Chronic: I'm pretty sure the first commandment is the one about homosexuality or possibly voting in favor of abortion rights.


Damn, Sparky, you're really messed up, aren't you?

Get over yourself.
 
2013-05-01 11:02:49 AM
She looks like she may have coveted her neighbor's wife a time or two.
 
2013-05-01 11:02:53 AM
"Ironic" tag on vacation, subby?
 
2013-05-01 11:04:32 AM

Farking Canuck: The first three commandments are all about being god's biatch.

Not stealing, one of the three useful ones, is well down the list and was part of society long before the bible was invented.


And you know, all kidding aside, I think a lot of those people who claim to revere the Ten Commandments must be ignorant of their actual contents.  Anyone who says they're "the foundation of our laws," or insists that it's fine to post the Commandments in the courthouse because "thou shalt not kill" is a perfectly fine message, would be surprised to find out what the Commandments actually say.
 
2013-05-01 11:04:54 AM
which number is "thou shalt not rape?"  oh, that's right...
 
2013-05-01 11:05:36 AM

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: First commandment. You know, freedom of religion.


Super Chronic: I'm pretty sure the first commandment is the one about homosexuality or possibly voting in favor of abortion rights.


Guys first commandment:

Thou shalt have unrestricted access to firearms at all times.

Just as Jesus said to the rich man, "Be not afraid, for I am the Truth and the Light. Fire me into yon path of the poor man, as ye shall inherit the earth with no taxation or minimum wage laws."
 
2013-05-01 11:07:03 AM
NumberFiveIsAlive: Apparently she doesn't realize that she could get one for free by walking in and asking for one from church, or staying working one night in a hotel room.
 
2013-05-01 11:10:46 AM
And my hometown makes the news on Fark. Lovely.

FWIW, Powder Springs isn't a hotbed of crime and poverty, but it is at the ass end of Cobb County so that's not much better.
 
2013-05-01 11:12:31 AM

efts: which number is "thou shalt not rape?"  oh, that's right...


It's next to "thou shalt not enslave your fellow man."
 
2013-05-01 11:14:28 AM

rufus-t-firefly: PIP_the_TROLL: NumberFiveIsAlive: Apparently she doesn't realize that she could get one for free by walking in and asking for one from church, or staying one night in a hotel room.

For realz. Any church will happily give you one.

But if you steal one, you don't have to put up with some jagoff telling you what parts to embrace and which to ignore.


That is why she should have asked a Methodist for one, they would have just invited her to church on Sunday and asked her what her favorite casserole and jello mold is.
 
2013-05-01 11:17:26 AM
Damn near every church will give you one for free.....
 
2013-05-01 11:20:02 AM
Has anyone mentioned that you can get a Bible for free yet?  Someone should mention that.  Like at a church, or hotel room.
 
2013-05-01 11:22:04 AM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-01 11:24:22 AM

Farking Canuck: The first three commandments are all about being god's biatch.

Not stealing, one of the three useful ones, is well down the list and was part of society long before the bible was invented.


The 10 Commandments pre-date the invention of the bible by 500-800 years.

That said, I see 4 "useful" tips included in the commandments.  Of the four (don't murder, don't steal, don't lie, don't sleep around on your spouse), which one do you feel can/should be disregarded without consequence in a secular society?
 
2013-05-01 11:26:45 AM
No, nobody has mentioned that you can get a free Bible.
But for the Commandments, my understanding is that you can find them on stone in the desert, so you don't even need to go in to town to get those.
 
2013-05-01 11:39:42 AM

offmymeds: "Ironic" tag on vacation, subby?


No.  It's out collecting stones.
 
2013-05-01 11:40:40 AM

another cultural observer: That said, I see 4 "useful" tips included in the commandments. Of the four (don't murder, don't steal, don't lie, don't sleep around on your spouse), which one do you feel can/should be disregarded without consequence in a secular society?


I was going by memory that there were 3 useful ones. Checking the list I see that there are two ()murder/stealing) that current western society takes as laws and two (adultery/lying) that would help avoid problems but are not uncommon or illegal.

So I guess the list is 20% useful rules, 20% good advice, and 60% religious nutbaggery.
 
2013-05-01 11:40:57 AM
Commandments?!?!? Pfftt....I go by the Konami Code.
 
2013-05-01 11:41:39 AM
They should put those commandments on a stone tablet outside of the court she will be attending, so she doesn't forget what the laws are based on.
 
2013-05-01 11:42:32 AM
"I wanna talk to you today about the 10 Commandments, and I'll keep this short, 'cause I've got a tee-time at noon. Actually there were more than Ten Commandments, but Moses was old and grumpy, and after he broke the tablets he could only remember the negative ones. "Don't do this. Don't do that." The truth is, most of them were more like advice. The Twelfth Commandment, for example, was "Whistle while you work." (People think it's from Disney, but Disney stole it from God.)"


"Personally, I like to think of them as the "Ten Suggestions", because God, well, he didn't use the word "Absolutely" in any of them."

- Father Guido Sarducci
 
2013-05-01 11:45:44 AM
Wait, not stealing is one of "the ten commandments"?

(checks bible)

I don't see anything in "the ten commandments" about stealing.
 
2013-05-01 11:47:47 AM

fruitloop: Wait, not stealing is one of "the ten commandments"?

(checks bible)

I don't see anything in "the ten commandments" about stealing.


I was checking your link and read "fisting" in the following passage. Changed the whole meaning ...

19All that openeth the matrix is mine; and every firstling among thy cattle, whether ox or sheep, that is male.
 
2013-05-01 11:47:49 AM

Farking Canuck: another cultural observer: That said, I see 4 "useful" tips included in the commandments. Of the four (don't murder, don't steal, don't lie, don't sleep around on your spouse), which one do you feel can/should be disregarded without consequence in a secular society?

I was going by memory that there were 3 useful ones. Checking the list I see that there are two ()murder/stealing) that current western society takes as laws and two (adultery/lying) that would help avoid problems but are not uncommon or illegal.

So I guess the list is 20% useful rules, 20% good advice, and 60% religious nutbaggery.


I'm going to question your math.  Lying is often a criminal offense if you lie about the right stuff.  Maybe it falls under a hybrid "rule/advice" category.
 
2013-05-01 11:49:09 AM
I thought the first commandment was "Don't talk about Commandment Club"
 
2013-05-01 11:50:50 AM

planes: "I wanna talk to you today about the 10 Commandments, and I'll keep this short, 'cause I've got a tee-time at noon. Actually there were more than Ten Commandments, but Moses was old and grumpy, and after he broke the tablets he could only remember the negative ones. "Don't do this. Don't do that." The truth is, most of them were more like advice. The Twelfth Commandment, for example, was "Whistle while you work." (People think it's from Disney, but Disney stole it from God.)"


"Personally, I like to think of them as the "Ten Suggestions", because God, well, he didn't use the word "Absolutely" in any of them."

- Father Guido Sarducci


Actually, they're more like guidelines.

images.hitfix.com
 
2013-05-01 12:03:18 PM
I thought the Eleventh Commandment is "Thou Shalt Not Get Caught"
 
2013-05-01 12:03:57 PM

fruitloop: Wait, not stealing is one of "the ten commandments"?

(checks bible)

I don't see anything in "the ten commandments" about stealing.


Then read chapter 20, which is were the 10 commandments are listed.  Pay attention to verse 15.
 
2013-05-01 12:09:20 PM
I've heard the story that the reason gypsies steal is because when jesus was on the cross, they originally had a nail for each foot, but a gypsy child stole one and jesus exempted gypsies from the whole thou shalt not steal deal.  which is a nice fairy tale to tell yourself if you're a gypsy, i suppose.
 
2013-05-01 12:09:25 PM
I used to run a book store, and yes, the book that was stolen the most was the Holy Bible. Not just by a small margin, either. People stole Bibles constantly.

I can understand it from a financial point of view. Some of those Bibles are ridiculously expensive. Gold leaf, leather cover, fancy cases, etc... They can get a pretty good resale price for those on eBay, I bet.

I can't understand it from a personal salvation point of view, though. Why steal a book that tells you not to steal,  especially  when you can easily get a free one from a variety of Christian organizations who will happily shove a Bible in your hand, down your throat, and up your ass if you give them a chance?

But anyway, yeah-- This is not uncommon. Our biggest losses were Bibles and manga.
 
2013-05-01 12:19:59 PM
Here are some examples of why people steal Bibles:

$179.99 study Bible

$119.99 study Bible

$64.11 zippered large-print Amplified Bible

And so on. I actually used to make a pretty good living buying up Bibles at my discount and then reselling them for way more than the store was asking, because apparently people in places without book stores will pay ridiculous sums of money for fancy Bibles.

And they actually appreciate in value. As they go out of print, people crave particular versions, formats, bindings, etc. and will pay through the nose for rare ones. If I had hung onto the ones I had, I could probably sell them for four times what I got a decade ago.

So really, this woman was a smart thief. She knows the market. Christians are gullible consumers.
 
2013-05-01 12:39:56 PM
Christ, do I have to do everything around here?

blog.constitutioncenter.org

I am the Lord your God and you shall have no other God but Me.
 
2013-05-01 12:47:31 PM
What I want to know is why she needed $1000 bond for a $20-something book?

/excessive bail much
 
2013-05-01 12:49:20 PM

ZeroCorpse: Here are some examples of why people steal Bibles:

$179.99 study Bible

$119.99 study Bible

$64.11 zippered large-print Amplified Bible

And so on. I actually used to make a pretty good living buying up Bibles at my discount and then reselling them for way more than the store was asking, because apparently people in places without book stores will pay ridiculous sums of money for fancy Bibles.

And they actually appreciate in value. As they go out of print, people crave particular versions, formats, bindings, etc. and will pay through the nose for rare ones. If I had hung onto the ones I had, I could probably sell them for four times what I got a decade ago.

So really, this woman was a smart thief. She knows the market. Christians are gullible consumers.


I don't think it's just Bibles, although Bibles are the most obvious example.  There's a vendor at the Dickens Fair who sells antique books, many of which are over 100 years old and cost hundreds of dollars (for example, an edition of "Alice in Wonderland" that was probably first sold when Lewis Carroll was still alive).  I suppose a collector might be willing to buy and/or sell such books for huge amounts (much like comic book collectors), but I imagine most people (myself included) would be just as happy to read them for free on their e-reader of choice.
 
2013-05-01 12:52:28 PM
She violated "thou shall not let moochers into thy hut?"

Stupid subby
 
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