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(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)   A reminder to all you thirsty people out there: Please do not call 911 and ask them to bring you Kool-Aid   (tampabay.com) divider line 34
    More: Florida, St. Pete, Pinellas County Jail  
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2948 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2013 at 3:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-05-01 12:02:43 AM  
Hey, someone needs to protect me from the Thirsties...

bmj2k.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-01 12:06:40 AM  
Idiot

/911 only delivers 2 liter bottles of Coke and Pepsi products
//1 case minimum
///mix or match
 
2013-05-01 12:07:23 AM  
FTA...On the way there, he started chewing foam attached to the metal caging in the back of the police cruiser, an officer wrote


Well of course he was chewing on the foam. Poor dude was hungry. Shame on the cops for not stopping & getting him a burger.
 
2013-05-01 12:18:58 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: FTA...On the way there, he started chewing foam attached to the metal caging in the back of the police cruiser, an officer wrote


Well of course he was chewing on the foam. Poor dude was hungry. Shame on the cops for not stopping & getting him a burger.


I think at that point, it's pretty obviously an emergency, too

/I mean, the only really technically wrong part was the weed
//frikkin detail nazis
 
2013-05-01 12:31:59 AM  
That's just stupid.  Any fool knows that you save 911 for real emergencies like running out of beer.  Duh!
 
2013-05-01 12:49:52 AM  
The cops busted through the wall and took him away.

Oh yeeeaaah!
 
2013-05-01 01:26:40 AM  
I know it wouldn't be professional, but if I was the arresting officer in this case, how could you NOT burst through the door with a pitcher?
 
2013-05-01 02:21:24 AM  
Anyone I might know.......Nope, doesn't ring a bell.
 
2013-05-01 03:57:04 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Idiot

/911 only delivers 2 liter bottles of Coke and Pepsi products
//1 case minimum
///mix or match


I was rather hoping for a mojito. Oh well.
 
2013-05-01 03:58:29 AM  
Who does he think he is, Jim Jones?
 
2013-05-01 04:03:48 AM  
I blame the Kool-Aid company for pulling the PSAs showing the proper way to summon the Kool-Aid Man.

On a side not yelling "Hey Kool-Aid" at a fatass resplendent in bright red is amazingly fun and satisfying.  It makes you kind of a dick, especially if you don't know the fatty, but it's totally worth it.
 
2013-05-01 04:14:10 AM  

Confabulat: I know it wouldn't be professional, but if I was the arresting officer in this case, how could you NOT burst through the door with a pitcher?


OH YEEEAH!
 
2013-05-01 04:24:14 AM  
But what if you're really thirsty?  It must be ok then, right?
 
2013-05-01 04:52:03 AM  
was in jail Tuesday in lieu of $150 bail.

I'm guessing that Jarvis Sutton is not a well-to-do man and has no well-to-do friends.
 
2013-05-01 05:30:24 AM  

log_jammin: was in jail Tuesday in lieu of $150 bail.

I'm guessing that Jarvis Sutton is not a well-to-do man and has no well-to-do friends.


How dare you? Only the finest peole abuse public services for goods and koolaid.
 
2013-05-01 05:37:29 AM  

missmez: log_jammin: was in jail Tuesday in lieu of $150 bail.

I'm guessing that Jarvis Sutton is not a well-to-do man and has no well-to-do friends.

How dare you? Only the finest peole abuse public services for goods and koolaid.


And drugs, don't forget drugs.
 
2013-05-01 05:39:53 AM  
Sometimes you can read the subject line and know what the tagline will be before you get to it.
 
2013-05-01 05:44:34 AM  
5000 years ago people like this would be lion food.

/darwin slowly weeps
 
2013-05-01 06:07:10 AM  
Don't drink the Kool Aid.....
 
2013-05-01 06:09:48 AM  
How'd he call 911 80 times? I thought they always show up on every call no matter what.
 
2013-05-01 06:17:10 AM  

Mugato: How'd he call 911 80 times? I thought they always show up on every call no matter what.


There is the response time to consider. Average response to a 911 emergency call in St. Pete is between 12-15 miinutes. How many times cal you hit redial in that time?

Go ahead and try it... have your own FARK headline tomorrow!
 
2013-05-01 06:36:10 AM  

Mugato: How'd he call 911 80 times? I thought they always show up on every call no matter what.


I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that the obviously non emergency call was given a lower priority than anything else going on.
 
2013-05-01 06:40:05 AM  

elguerodiablo: I blame the Kool-Aid company for pulling the PSAs showing the proper way to summon the Kool-Aid Man.

On a side not yelling "Hey Kool-Aid" at a fatass resplendent in bright red is amazingly fun and satisfying.  It makes you kind of a dick, especially if you don't know the fatty, but it's totally worth it.


way to blow your own joke, shiatforbrains
 
2013-05-01 06:44:49 AM  

log_jammin: I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that the obviously non emergency call was given a lower priority than anything else going on


No, they send the cops for frivolous calls.
 
2013-05-01 07:02:02 AM  

log_jammin: was in jail Tuesday in lieu of $150 bail.

I'm guessing that Jarvis Sutton is not a well-to-do man and has no well-to-do friends.


Dude's mental state was such that he tried to eat the police cruiser.
Whatever drugs he was on(off), a cell was the right place to put him for the day.
 
2013-05-01 07:03:05 AM  
Jail's a bit cheaper than a psych ward, at least to the user.
 
2013-05-01 07:04:28 AM  
CSB

I am seriously diabetic, and occasionally have bouts with hypoglycemia, or severely low blood sugar. One of the hallmarks of hypoglycemia, at least for me, is scrambling of higher brain functions...in short-I become a moron.

My remedy of choice for low blood sugar is often lifesaver candy, and I keep a big bag of them in our pantry. One night at 3AM I was digging in the bag for lifesavers, and pulled out 10 green ones in a row. Both my wife and I hate the green ones, and I was seriously thinking of calling 911 to report her for taking all the other lifesavers and leaving me with the green ones.

Luckily I managed to swallow enough fruit juice and candy to avert the need for emergency assistance.

/CSB
 
2013-05-01 07:06:10 AM  

Mugato: log_jammin: I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that the obviously non emergency call was given a lower priority than anything else going on

No, they send the cops for frivolous calls.


I know they send the cops to frivolous calls. Calls also get prioritized. and each time he called he made himself more and more of a priority.
 
2013-05-01 07:11:28 AM  
80 times? George Jetson would have pushed that button 6 and bent his finger
 
2013-05-01 07:23:57 AM  
img209.imageshack.us

"Purple drank".
 
db2
2013-05-01 08:33:03 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-01 09:32:31 AM  
 
2013-05-01 10:38:56 AM  
remember, it's not called "Tropical Punch" it's called "Red"
 
2013-05-01 11:45:33 AM  
This is terrible. I only call 911 for important things, like when the remote is too far away for me to reach
 
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