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(Daily Mail)   Fark ready headline: Carpet cleaner left screaming in agony after his testicles were burned by 99p 'shower gel'   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 99
    More: Scary, shower gel, Raymond Cuss, eggs, showers  
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12989 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2013 at 7:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-30 07:59:48 PM
Yeah, that would do it
 
2013-04-30 08:00:23 PM
That's some brutal rug burn.
 
2013-04-30 08:00:47 PM
He has now been given £1,000 as part of an out-of-court settlement.

See this is the difference between the UK and the US. People in the US would laugh at that pitiful amount.  People in the UK are like "Good show ol chap! You showed them! Pip pip etc" The minimum someone in the US would have gotten was $300,000.
 
2013-04-30 08:02:26 PM

Walker: He has now been given £1,000 as part of an out-of-court settlement.

See this is the difference between the UK and the US. People in the US would laugh at that pitiful amount.  People in the UK are like "Good show ol chap! You showed them! Pip pip etc" The minimum someone in the US would have gotten was $300,000.


That's assuming this story is in any way true, considering the source.
 
2013-04-30 08:03:10 PM
Reacted with chemicals used when he was working?  Dude, why are you putting carpet cleaner on your junk?
 
2013-04-30 08:04:10 PM
"'I now get an even cheaper brand from Lidl.'

ohlmanngroup.com
 
2013-04-30 08:04:24 PM
I only use carpet cleaner on my nuts if I've been with someone really skanky!
 
2013-04-30 08:04:51 PM
It's a 99p shower gel. You can't tell if it's worked properly till after you urinate 99 times. Geez, the stupidity of some people.
 
2013-04-30 08:04:55 PM

fusillade762: Walker: He has now been given £1,000 as part of an out-of-court settlement.

See this is the difference between the UK and the US. People in the US would laugh at that pitiful amount.  People in the UK are like "Good show ol chap! You showed them! Pip pip etc" The minimum someone in the US would have gotten was $300,000.

That's assuming this story is in any way true, considering the source.


There are more trustworthy sources:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/10027749/Cheap-shower-gel-bur ns -mans-testicles.html

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/gosport-man-s-1-000-payout-after-cl ai m-he-was-burnt-by-99p-store-body-wash-1-5044639
 
2013-04-30 08:05:42 PM
I'll remember that the next time I feel the need to humiliate myself to the world, to contact the Daily Mail.

Does anyone in England have any self respect anymore?
 
2013-04-30 08:05:44 PM
So, does the carpet still match the drapes?
 
2013-04-30 08:06:32 PM
"'Because I'm self employed I had to go to work and battle through the pain, which was a real struggle."

Had this been the US that would have read "because I'm self-employed I have terrible insurance that wouldn't cover this accident and I am now hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt."
 
2013-04-30 08:08:41 PM
mimg.ugo.com

What really happened was he pissed off some nerds
 
2013-04-30 08:09:54 PM
From the comments:
how did chemicals from work get down to his testicles and why didn't it react on other parts of the skin first.


That is a  good question. Does he wash his junk before anything else?
 
2013-04-30 08:11:24 PM

calm like a bomb: Reacted with chemicals used when he was working?  Dude, why are you putting carpet cleaner on your junk?


My thought as well (now that we have some more reliable sources and I've decided to actually think about it. Thanks, Walker). Why would he only have burned his crotch and nowhere else??
 
2013-04-30 08:12:39 PM

Elegy: "'Because I'm self employed I had to go to work and battle through the pain, which was a real struggle."

Had this been the US that would have read "because I'm self-employed I have terrible insurance that wouldn't cover this accident and I am now hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt."


And whose choice was it to be self employed with no health insurance rather than get a job someplace that has generous insurance...?
 
2013-04-30 08:13:13 PM
Hmmm.  I thought a red, inflamed penis was somewhat normal.
 
2013-04-30 08:14:56 PM
p?
 
2013-04-30 08:16:20 PM

MrHappyRotter: Hmmm.  I thought a red, inflamed penis was somewhat normal.


Dick In A Fire
 
2013-04-30 08:18:20 PM

fusillade762: calm like a bomb: Reacted with chemicals used when he was working?  Dude, why are you putting carpet cleaner on your junk?

My thought as well (now that we have some more reliable sources and I've decided to actually think about it. Thanks, Walker). Why would he only have burned his crotch and nowhere else??


Thinner skin in the genital area than the rest of the body could explain why only that area was burned.
As for why chemicals from his work got there?  Unless they soaked through both pants and undergarments, that sounds like the lawyers saving face.
 
2013-04-30 08:19:06 PM
Am I the only one who read "Carpet cleaner left screaming in agony after his testicles were burned..." and wondered why the carpet cleaner was washing his balls at someone's home where he was cleaning carpets? What other reason is there for naming his occupation?
 
2013-04-30 08:21:10 PM

calm like a bomb: Reacted with chemicals used when he was working?  Dude, why are you putting carpet cleaner on your junk?


He probably still had them on his hands, and washed his junk before anything else.

/which is weird, but it's England, so who knows
 
2013-04-30 08:21:36 PM
I would be very, very careful about using anything called "Dettol" near the family jewels. I am only familiar with that product's use as the world's most disgusting cold remedy. It's one of those medicines that you have to be sick to use because if you aren't already violently ill, you will be after using it.
 
2013-04-30 08:23:01 PM
www.pianohelp.net
 
2013-04-30 08:27:08 PM

Walker: He has now been given £1,000 as part of an out-of-court settlement.

See this is the difference between the UK and the US. People in the US would laugh at that pitiful amount.  People in the UK are like "Good show ol chap! You showed them! Pip pip etc" The minimum someone in the US would have gotten was $300,000.


I'm from the UK and believe me, that is a truly pitiful amount for the pain and trouble he suffered.
 
2013-04-30 08:28:36 PM
'I had tears in my eyes when pulling on my boxer shorts, and if any material simply brushed the area I almost doubled over in pain. I grimaced with every move.'

He added: 'I went to my local hospital and they said I had suffered burns. I don't have sensitive skin and had never suffered a reaction like this before.

'Because I'm self employed I had to go to work and battle through the pain, which was a real struggle. The whole incident left me feeling depressed because I feared my ordeal would never end.

Hombre needs to back to the man school of dealing with pain.
 
2013-04-30 08:29:44 PM

berylman: 'I had tears in my eyes when pulling on my boxer shorts, and if any material simply brushed the area I almost doubled over in pain. I grimaced with every move.'

He added: 'I went to my local hospital and they said I had suffered burns. I don't have sensitive skin and had never suffered a reaction like this before.

'Because I'm self employed I had to go to work and battle through the pain, which was a real struggle. The whole incident left me feeling depressed because I feared my ordeal would never end.

Hombre needs to back to the man school of dealing with pain.


Real men scrub their balls with Lava
 
2013-04-30 08:29:58 PM

Barricaded Gunman: Am I the only one who read "Carpet cleaner left screaming in agony after his testicles were burned..." and wondered why the carpet cleaner was washing his balls at someone's home where he was cleaning carpets? What other reason is there for naming his occupation?


Yeah, that was my thought too.
 
2013-04-30 08:30:29 PM
Berylman

Hombre needs to back to the man school of dealing with pain.

Tell you what. I'll put caustic chemicals on your genitals and you can demonstrate by example.
 
2013-04-30 08:31:42 PM
He's a flamer. No real man uses shower gel.
 
2013-04-30 08:34:06 PM
No-one posted this yet?

/ Read the reviews
 
2013-04-30 08:36:36 PM

MeanJean: Berylman
Tell you what. I'll put caustic chemicals on your genitals and you can demonstrate by example.


It was a joke, relax Senorita!   (damn now I am being sexist and racist at the same time)
 
2013-04-30 08:38:10 PM
I now get an even cheaper brand

let us know how that works out
 
2013-04-30 08:39:15 PM

Smeggy Smurf: berylman: 'I had tears in my eyes when pulling on my boxer shorts, and if any material simply brushed the area I almost doubled over in pain. I grimaced with every move.'

He added: 'I went to my local hospital and they said I had suffered burns. I don't have sensitive skin and had never suffered a reaction like this before.

'Because I'm self employed I had to go to work and battle through the pain, which was a real struggle. The whole incident left me feeling depressed because I feared my ordeal would never end.

Hombre needs to back to the man school of dealing with pain.

Real men scrub their balls with Lava


Brillo Pads with Lava. that's a deep down clean.
 
2013-04-30 08:40:42 PM

1000Monkeys: No-one posted this yet?

/ Read the reviews


Okay, that was funny.
 
2013-04-30 08:45:06 PM

KarmicDisaster: p?


99 pence. In the US, it would read "99 cent store".

/yes, I had to scan the article a couple of times to figure it out myself
 
2013-04-30 08:45:17 PM
WIMP!

Burnt a hole the size of a silver dollar on my thigh.

Went to work every day.
 
2013-04-30 08:48:27 PM
that's why the captain gets the good stuff
 
2013-04-30 08:50:05 PM

Barricaded Gunman: Am I the only one who read "Carpet cleaner left screaming in agony after his testicles were burned..." and wondered why the carpet cleaner was washing his balls at someone's home where he was cleaning carpets? What other reason is there for naming his occupation?


Naw, that's what I thought too.
 
2013-04-30 08:50:53 PM
He has a job that involves dipping his balls in it?
 
2013-04-30 08:51:42 PM

Walker: He has now been given £1,000 as part of an out-of-court settlement.

See this is the difference between the UK and the US. People in the US would laugh at that pitiful amount.  People in the UK are like "Good show ol chap! You showed them! Pip pip etc" The minimum someone in the US would have gotten was $300,000.


and the store would stop buying its products off the back of truck out side of the legal supply chain

1000p is nothing to a chain store and in no ways makes them want to change there product procurement practices
 
2013-04-30 08:52:26 PM
Rub some bacon on it?
 
2013-04-30 08:55:07 PM
"Pain was so much even his underwear hurt when it touched burns"

The real question is, how does he know what his underwear was feeling?

Also, does this mean all Koreans have singed balls?
 
2013-04-30 08:58:45 PM

Habeas Porpoise: "Pain was so much even his underwear hurt when it touched burns"

The real question is, how does he know what his underwear was feeling?

Also, does this mean all Koreans have singed balls?


I was just about to express my new found respect for Korean genital fortitude.  I wonder what scent it was.  Invigorating Brimstone?
 
2013-04-30 09:01:31 PM
Had his testicles burned?  That's nuts!

/....Or maybe not. :P
 
2013-04-30 09:01:32 PM

ox45tallboy: 1000Monkeys: No-one posted this yet?

/ Read the reviews

Okay, that was funny.


+1 !
 
2013-04-30 09:02:00 PM
Hope he didn't have a chair with a slatted seat.
 
2013-04-30 09:03:04 PM
Just find a nice warm and moist place to soak it in and it will be alright.
 
2013-04-30 09:03:35 PM
When I was in the military my buddies and I used to compete to see who could smear the most IcyHot on their cock and balls.

I just thought you might like to know.
 
2013-04-30 09:03:52 PM

remus: Elegy: "'Because I'm self employed I had to go to work and battle through the pain, which was a real struggle."

Had this been the US that would have read "because I'm self-employed I have terrible insurance that wouldn't cover this accident and I am now hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt."

And whose choice was it to be self employed with no health insurance rather than get a job someplace that has generous insurance...?


Insurance? This was from the civilized world.
 
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