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(The Daily Beast)   Dear The South: Secede already. Signed, the rest of America   (thedailybeast.com) divider line 454
    More: Amusing, Lee Siegel, souths, slave states, Fort Sumter, White Anglo-Saxon Protestant, Kansas Legislature, Thomas Frank, red states  
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9100 clicks; posted to Politics » on 30 Apr 2013 at 6:31 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-30 03:44:16 PM
i55.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-30 03:48:56 PM
Nope.  Sorry.  We're not going anywhere.  Sure, a vocal minority of religious nutballs are threatening it, but in the end, it won't happen.  So, get used to us.  You know you love us.  Come on and give us a kiss.
 
2013-04-30 03:52:07 PM
I'm fine as long as we're compensated for the land rights the US Government has in seceding states.
 
2013-04-30 03:54:18 PM

Nabb1: Nope.  Sorry.  We're not going anywhere.  Sure, a vocal minority of religious nutballs are threatening it, but in the end, it won't happen.  So, get used to us.  You know you love us.  Come on and give us a kiss.


actually, having driven from omaha to southwest florida many times, i quite like the south. parts of it, anyway.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-04-30 03:55:09 PM
A humane immigration policy

That alone makes it unworkable.  After the economy collapses into the third world job creators paradise they want, illegal immigrants from the South would start flooding into the North.
 
2013-04-30 03:55:49 PM

FlashHarry: Nabb1: Nope.  Sorry.  We're not going anywhere.  Sure, a vocal minority of religious nutballs are threatening it, but in the end, it won't happen.  So, get used to us.  You know you love us.  Come on and give us a kiss.

actually, having driven from omaha to southwest florida many times, i quite like the south. parts of it, anyway.


I loathe Mississippi, but it's a beautiful drive in some parts.
 
2013-04-30 03:57:46 PM

Nabb1: Nope.  Sorry.  We're not going anywhere.  Sure, a vocal minority of religious nutballs are threatening it, but in the end, it won't happen.  So, get used to us.  You know you love us.  Come on and give us a kiss.


That's how I feel. I live in Arizona, so my only crime is that I'm surrounded by assholes.
 
2013-04-30 03:58:08 PM
It's not the place, it's the people.
 
2013-04-30 03:58:10 PM

Nabb1: FlashHarry: Nabb1: Nope.  Sorry.  We're not going anywhere.  Sure, a vocal minority of religious nutballs are threatening it, but in the end, it won't happen.  So, get used to us.  You know you love us.  Come on and give us a kiss.

actually, having driven from omaha to southwest florida many times, i quite like the south. parts of it, anyway.

I loathe Mississippi, but it's a beautiful drive in some parts.


I like the coast of Mississippi. And Hattiesburg.

We can dump uranium in the rest of it.
 
2013-04-30 04:01:03 PM

Nabb1: Nope.  Sorry.  We're not going anywhere.  Sure, a vocal minority of religious nutballs are threatening it, but in the end, it won't happen.


More's the pity.  I think both sides would be happier, I really do.  Southerners could retain their beloved culture and heritage without people trying to make them change, and the rest of America could go on with their lives without being forced to accommodate a culture that is increasingly at odds with the way they want the country to run.
 
2013-04-30 04:01:15 PM
At least our separatists up here in Canuckistan speak a different language so we don't have to listen to their sh*t attentively.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-04-30 04:02:02 PM

CaptSacto: It's not the place, it's the people.


That's the problem.  Even the people have their good points, but that you're one of us or you're an asshole attitude is deeply ingrained into the culture.
 
2013-04-30 04:02:15 PM

Shostie: Nabb1: FlashHarry: Nabb1: Nope.  Sorry.  We're not going anywhere.  Sure, a vocal minority of religious nutballs are threatening it, but in the end, it won't happen.  So, get used to us.  You know you love us.  Come on and give us a kiss.

actually, having driven from omaha to southwest florida many times, i quite like the south. parts of it, anyway.

I loathe Mississippi, but it's a beautiful drive in some parts.

I like the coast of Mississippi. And Hattiesburg.

We can dump uranium in the rest of it.


Have you ever driven the Natchez Trace Parkway?  It's awesome.  It runs from around Jackson down to Louisiana through some pristine areas.
 
2013-04-30 04:03:28 PM

vpb: CaptSacto: It's not the place, it's the people.

That's the problem.  Even the people have their good points, but that you're one of us or you're an asshole attitude is deeply ingrained into the culture.


No, it isn't.  There are people like that everywhere.  New York.  Paris.  But those aren't the norm.
 
2013-04-30 04:07:52 PM
If we get rid of the South, it means no more Dr Pepper.
 
2013-04-30 04:08:24 PM
Dear North, you could not survive without us. Love, The South
 
2013-04-30 04:08:35 PM

Nabb1: vpb: CaptSacto: It's not the place, it's the people.

That's the problem.  Even the people have their good points, but that you're one of us or you're an asshole attitude is deeply ingrained into the culture.

No, it isn't.  There are people like that everywhere.  New York.  Paris.  But those aren't the norm.


The problem is they seem to achieve elected office much more often in the South.
 
2013-04-30 04:15:34 PM
I would be for this, but their NFL would be better.
 
2013-04-30 04:16:55 PM
I'm sure this article will generate sensible and level-headed discussion between all interested parties.
 
2013-04-30 04:17:05 PM

JerseyTim: I would be for this, but their NFL would be better.


True.  And we don't even need y'all for college football anymore.
 
2013-04-30 04:18:58 PM

jehovahs witness protection: Dear North, you could not survive without us. Love, The South


There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept.

// personally, I rather like the idea of no longer paying Federal taxes to support the economies of The South
 
2013-04-30 04:23:25 PM

Aarontology: If we get rid of the South, it means no more Dr Pepper.


We have Moxie to make up for it.
 
2013-04-30 04:25:45 PM

kimwim: Aarontology: If we get rid of the South, it means no more Dr Pepper.

We have Moxie to make up for it.


Enjoy your torrents of vomit.
 
2013-04-30 04:27:02 PM
Can we keep the good bits? New Orleans and Savannah and maybe the beaches of Florida?
 
2013-04-30 04:29:52 PM

what_now: Can we keep the good bits? New Orleans and Savannah and maybe the beaches of Florida?


Savannah?  Dear lord, what an awful place.  Charleston, South Carolina, is the finest city in the South.
 
2013-04-30 04:31:25 PM

Nabb1: what_now: Can we keep the good bits? New Orleans and Savannah and maybe the beaches of Florida?

Savannah?  Dear lord, what an awful place.  Charleston, South Carolina, is the finest city in the South.


I recently toured both cities, actually. I liked Savannah more. I think it's one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

Could do without the vomiting tourists
 
2013-04-30 04:34:26 PM

kimwim: Aarontology: If we get rid of the South, it means no more Dr Pepper.

We have Moxie to make up for it.


I dunno. Moxie is a drink unto itself. You can't really compare the two.
 
2013-04-30 04:34:45 PM

what_now: Nabb1: what_now: Can we keep the good bits? New Orleans and Savannah and maybe the beaches of Florida?

Savannah?  Dear lord, what an awful place.  Charleston, South Carolina, is the finest city in the South.

I recently toured both cities, actually. I liked Savannah more. I think it's one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

Could do without the vomiting tourists


That was sort of an inside joke.  I lived in Charleston for a number of years (and I stand by my opinion about it) and there is a long-standing grudge between those two cities that goes back to the colonial times when Savannah was the entry point for convicts from England.  Georgia was a penal colony, after all.  And then during the Revolution, Cornwallis's arrival was hailed by the large Tory population in Savannah while Charleston was taken by force.  In any case, Charleston has always looked down on Savannah and vice versa.  It's all in good fun, of course.
 
2013-04-30 04:34:46 PM

browneye: I'm sure this article will generate sensible and level-headed discussion between all interested parties.


to be fair, they started it. well, both times, actually.
 
2013-04-30 04:41:17 PM

Nabb1: what_now: Can we keep the good bits? New Orleans and Savannah and maybe the beaches of Florida?


No, you may not. Good day.

Savannah?  Dear lord, what an awful place.  Charleston, South Carolina, is the finest city in the South.

I don't know you, Sir.
 
2013-04-30 04:46:11 PM

Nabb1: what_now: Nabb1: what_now: Can we keep the good bits? New Orleans and Savannah and maybe the beaches of Florida?

Savannah?  Dear lord, what an awful place.  Charleston, South Carolina, is the finest city in the South.

I recently toured both cities, actually. I liked Savannah more. I think it's one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

Could do without the vomiting tourists

That was sort of an inside joke.  I lived in Charleston for a number of years (and I stand by my opinion about it) and there is a long-standing grudge between those two cities that goes back to the colonial times when Savannah was the entry point for convicts from England.  Georgia was a penal colony, after all.  And then during the Revolution, Cornwallis's arrival was hailed by the large Tory population in Savannah while Charleston was taken by force.  In any case, Charleston has always looked down on Savannah and vice versa.  It's all in good fun, of course.


But we can both agree that Atlanta sucks right? Because that place is....tasteless. It could have been Frankfort or Cincinnati.
 
2013-04-30 04:46:35 PM
I spend half my time in the non-rednedcky part of Florida so I don't think we should be lumped in with all the shiatmkickin' hicks in the rest of the south.
 
2013-04-30 04:48:01 PM

what_now: Nabb1: what_now: Nabb1: what_now: Can we keep the good bits? New Orleans and Savannah and maybe the beaches of Florida?

Savannah?  Dear lord, what an awful place.  Charleston, South Carolina, is the finest city in the South.

I recently toured both cities, actually. I liked Savannah more. I think it's one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

Could do without the vomiting tourists

That was sort of an inside joke.  I lived in Charleston for a number of years (and I stand by my opinion about it) and there is a long-standing grudge between those two cities that goes back to the colonial times when Savannah was the entry point for convicts from England.  Georgia was a penal colony, after all.  And then during the Revolution, Cornwallis's arrival was hailed by the large Tory population in Savannah while Charleston was taken by force.  In any case, Charleston has always looked down on Savannah and vice versa.  It's all in good fun, of course.

But we can both agree that Atlanta sucks right? Because that place is....tasteless. It could have been Frankfort or Cincinnati.


You realize exactly why this has happened, don't you?
 
2013-04-30 04:48:51 PM

Mugato: I spend half my time in the non-rednedcky part of Florida so I don't think we should be lumped in with all the shiatmkickin' hicks in the rest of the south.


Congratulations. Now go home.
 
2013-04-30 04:49:14 PM

what_now: But we can both agree that Atlanta sucks right? Because that place is....tasteless. It could have been Frankfort or Cincinnati.


What?! It's got the Delta Hub! And Coca-Cola bottling plant! And....the Delta Hub!
 
2013-04-30 04:50:46 PM

what_now: But we can both agree that Atlanta sucks right? Because that place is....tasteless. It could have been Frankfort or Cincinnati.


Atlanta is more than just a Delta hub. It is a vibrant metropolis, the equal of Paris or New York.
 
2013-04-30 04:52:00 PM

Shostie: what_now: But we can both agree that Atlanta sucks right? Because that place is....tasteless. It could have been Frankfort or Cincinnati.

Atlanta is more than just a Delta hub. It is a vibrant metropolis, the equal of Paris or New York.


Bless your heart...
 
2013-04-30 04:54:13 PM

Nabb1: Shostie: what_now: But we can both agree that Atlanta sucks right? Because that place is....tasteless. It could have been Frankfort or Cincinnati.

Atlanta is more than just a Delta hub. It is a vibrant metropolis, the equal of Paris or New York.

Bless your heart..


That's my line.
 
2013-04-30 04:55:12 PM

Nabb1: Shostie: what_now: But we can both agree that Atlanta sucks right? Because that place is....tasteless. It could have been Frankfort or Cincinnati.

Atlanta is more than just a Delta hub. It is a vibrant metropolis, the equal of Paris or New York.

Bless your heart...


Futurama...? No...?
 
2013-04-30 04:56:40 PM

Shostie: Nabb1: Shostie: what_now: But we can both agree that Atlanta sucks right? Because that place is....tasteless. It could have been Frankfort or Cincinnati.

Atlanta is more than just a Delta hub. It is a vibrant metropolis, the equal of Paris or New York.

Bless your heart...

Futurama...? No...?


I can't decide whether to laugh or cry.
 
2013-04-30 04:58:17 PM

what_now: I recently toured both cities, actually. I liked Savannah more. I think it's one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

Could do without the vomiting tourists


It was St. Patrick's Day, it's expected. And it was urine, not vomit.  Speaking of which, we can't lose the French Quarter. Or South Beach.

BTW, there are plenty of trashy people in those rectangular states in the midwest and north too.
 
2013-04-30 04:58:41 PM
http://www.princeton.edu/~rvdb/JAVA/election2012/
Purple States of America... if you get a little more detailed than even this, even the solid "red" and "blue" portions are actually "only a little more one color than the other" and not a full blown majority.  Second image kinda brings that out.
 
2013-04-30 05:00:25 PM
We have 49 States too many.  The only one worth keeping is Colorado.
 
2013-04-30 05:02:00 PM
It would just lead to a war over water rights for the Mississippi; not to mention the nightmare of shipping on it now being international.
 
2013-04-30 05:04:35 PM
This would be a bad idea.

I see persecution on a massive scale for homosexuals.

I dont trust these farkers.
 
2013-04-30 05:05:35 PM
TFA: Universal health care. No guns. Strong unions. A humane minimum wage. A humane immigration policy. High revenues from a fair tax structure. A massive public-works program. Legal gay marriage. A ban on carbon emissions. Electric cars. Stronger workplace protections. Extended family leave from work in case of pregnancy or illness. Longer unemployment benefits.

I see only one in that list that fits the "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness"  portion of the article.
 
2013-04-30 05:08:22 PM
The vast stretch of Pennsyltucky between Pittsburgh and Philly would like a word, Subby.

And that word is WHHARRGARBLE
 
2013-04-30 05:09:41 PM
Dear the north.  We tried and you came down here and killed and maimed us to join back up.

the south
 
2013-04-30 05:10:22 PM

Shostie: Nabb1: FlashHarry: Nabb1: Nope.  Sorry.  We're not going anywhere.  Sure, a vocal minority of religious nutballs are threatening it, but in the end, it won't happen.  So, get used to us.  You know you love us.  Come on and give us a kiss.

actually, having driven from omaha to southwest florida many times, i quite like the south. parts of it, anyway.

I loathe Mississippi, but it's a beautiful drive in some parts.

I like the coast of Mississippi. And Hattiesburg.

We can dump uranium in the rest of it.


Start with Alabama first. It is completely lacking any redemptive feature whatsoever.
 
2013-04-30 05:11:15 PM
Just what this country needs, more reductionist bullshiate.
 
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