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(Reuters)   Apparently jealous of Texas, Florida moves to install its own "express lane" for Death Row. "Only God can judge, but we sure can set up the meeting." the bill's sponsor ACTUALLY SAID during debate on the measure   (reuters.com) divider line 209
    More: Sad, express lanes, Texas, Florida Supreme Court, death row, 33rd state, death penalty, Governor Scott, Don Gaetz  
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5863 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2013 at 1:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-30 12:00:41 PM
so it's like a handicapped lane at Disney World!
 
2013-04-30 12:04:50 PM
Actually, no.  You see, in the judicial system we have in this country, there are others who are allowed to judge, including juries and people whose actual job title is, get this, "judge"!  Is the the first this guy has heard of this?

Here's a nearly literal, alternative translation of that statement: "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out."  Perhaps not the best motto for a state's judicial system.
 
2013-04-30 12:06:03 PM
When Muslims say things like that, we call it Sharia.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-04-30 12:07:03 PM
That sort of thing goes over pretty well in the pan handle and some other parts of the state.
 
2013-04-30 12:16:48 PM

Cyberluddite: Actually, no.  You see, in the judicial system we have in this country, there are others who are allowed to judge, including juries and people whose actual job title is, get this, "judge"!  Is the the first this guy has heard of this?

Here's a nearly literal, alternative translation of that statement: "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out."  Perhaps not the best motto for a state's judicial system.


This pretty much summarizes my thoughts on the subject.

I'd like to formally request the expedition of turning this into a mostly blue state. Please?
 
2013-04-30 12:19:23 PM

Bontesla: Cyberluddite: Actually, no.  You see, in the judicial system we have in this country, there are others who are allowed to judge, including juries and people whose actual job title is, get this, "judge"!  Is the the first this guy has heard of this?

Here's a nearly literal, alternative translation of that statement: "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out."  Perhaps not the best motto for a state's judicial system.

This pretty much summarizes my thoughts on the subject.

I'd like to formally request the expedition of turning this into a mostly blue state. Please?


Sure.  What's Gen Sherman doing these days?
 
2013-04-30 12:32:11 PM
Wow dude, way to totally steal that line from 'Man on Fire'

l.wigflip.com
l.wigflip.com
 
2013-04-30 12:36:00 PM

Magorn: Bontesla: Cyberluddite: Actually, no.  You see, in the judicial system we have in this country, there are others who are allowed to judge, including juries and people whose actual job title is, get this, "judge"!  Is the the first this guy has heard of this?

Here's a nearly literal, alternative translation of that statement: "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out."  Perhaps not the best motto for a state's judicial system.

This pretty much summarizes my thoughts on the subject.

I'd like to formally request the expedition of turning this into a mostly blue state. Please?

Sure.  What's Gen Sherman doing these days?


Bum knee. Not a good idea.
 
2013-04-30 12:42:03 PM
THE GOVERNMENT CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT*!

*Except hand down a completely irreversible sentence.
 
2013-04-30 01:48:03 PM
Only god can judge, but we're going to murder you based on our judgement.
 
2013-04-30 01:49:04 PM
Would have thought it would have been the boobies:

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-30 01:49:26 PM

Cyberluddite: Actually, no.  You see, in the judicial system we have in this country, there are others who are allowed to judge, including juries and people whose actual job title is, get this, "judge"!  Is the the first this guy has heard of this?

Here's a nearly literal, alternative translation of that statement: "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out."  Perhaps not the best motto for a state's judicial system.


thats what terrifies me so much about religious people in office. in this guys world view, that statement is literally true to him. he believes if they screw up and execute an innocent through this process that it is ok in the end because god will send that person to heaven anyway, which may even be better than their current life here on earth. its very scary as someone who does not believe in their version of religion to think that these sorts of people could hold my life in their hands.
 
2013-04-30 01:49:27 PM
So God is actually sentencing people to death in Florida?

I'm not sure I'd buy that.

If God wanted people put to death, wouldn't he just go ahead and do it?
 
2013-04-30 01:49:58 PM
Let me guess.  Next week he's going to introduce a bill to cut all funding for public defenders, especially for capital cases?
 
2013-04-30 01:50:15 PM
I supervised a guy who ended up murdering his mom's boyfriend with an ax in florida.
He only got life in prison.
He said to the police "I loved every frickin' swing".  His ass got lucky.
 
2013-04-30 01:50:34 PM
I'm OK with this.  We have 330 million people here, and it's expensive to provide for a prisoner for life.  Why not cull the herd?
 
2013-04-30 01:50:45 PM

eas81: Would have thought it would have been the boobies:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 440x662]


is that the sweaty drunk chris farley reincarnate?
 
2013-04-30 01:50:46 PM
Death Row inmates in Florida have to wait in God's Waiting Room like everyone else.
 
2013-04-30 01:50:55 PM

I_Am_Weasel: So God is actually sentencing people to death in Florida?


Proof that he is a merciful God.
 
2013-04-30 01:52:44 PM
Zap him. If he dies, he was guilty. If he doesn't die, zap him again!
 
2013-04-30 01:53:30 PM
Oh God Dammit.  "Kill 'em all and let god sort 'em out"??  WTF is WRONG with people???
 
2013-04-30 01:53:34 PM
Excommunicate him.
 
2013-04-30 01:54:28 PM

tlchwi02: Cyberluddite: Actually, no.  You see, in the judicial system we have in this country, there are others who are allowed to judge, including juries and people whose actual job title is, get this, "judge"!  Is the the first this guy has heard of this?

Here's a nearly literal, alternative translation of that statement: "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out."  Perhaps not the best motto for a state's judicial system.

thats what terrifies me so much about religious people in office. in this guys world view, that statement is literally true to him. he believes if they screw up and execute an innocent through this process that it is ok in the end because god will send that person to heaven anyway, which may even be better than their current life here on earth. its very scary as someone who does not believe in their version of religion to think that these sorts of people could hold my life in their hands.


Well, then, all the more reason to make sure you're all square with Jesus, then, right? Just in case.
 
2013-04-30 01:54:48 PM

tlchwi02: thats what terrifies me so much about religious people in office. in this guys world view, that statement is literally true to him. he believes if they screw up and execute an innocent through this process that it is ok in the end because god will send that person to heaven anyway, which may even be better than their current life here on earth. its very scary as someone who does not believe in their version of religion to think that these sorts of people could hold my life in their hands.


I don't think they think that or even think that deeply.  They honestly don't consider there's a possibility that an innocent person could be convicted.  I mean, what are the odds that the police, the prosecutor, the judge, AND a jury would all make the same mistake?  I mean, come one!  It's impossible.  farker obviously did it.
 
2013-04-30 01:55:01 PM
The people who most objected to government-mandated or -provided health care and screamed about death panels always tend to be the ones who seem to like  actual government death panels that we have right now...
 
2013-04-30 01:56:24 PM

scottydoesntknow: Wow dude, way to totally steal that line from 'Man on Fire'

[l.wigflip.com image 600x250]
[l.wigflip.com image 600x256]


or, it's all a paraphrase of this moment of christian benevolence:

2.bp.blogspot.com
"Kill them all, the Lord will recognize his own".
 
2013-04-30 01:56:44 PM
Well then, why bother with life in the first place? Let's just kill everyone and then let god sort them out.
 
2013-04-30 01:57:07 PM
Why do I get the feeling that a head of lettuce could beat the shiat out of this guy?
 
2013-04-30 01:57:35 PM
I bet he's against using noble gasses to asphyxiate them tho.
 
2013-04-30 01:58:41 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Let me guess.  Next week he's going to introduce a bill to cut all funding for public defenders, especially for capital cases?


privatize it probably... cuz  the free market is the best for justice
 
2013-04-30 01:59:18 PM

tlchwi02: Cyberluddite: Actually, no.  You see, in the judicial system we have in this country, there are others who are allowed to judge, including juries and people whose actual job title is, get this, "judge"!  Is the the first this guy has heard of this?

Here's a nearly literal, alternative translation of that statement: "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out."  Perhaps not the best motto for a state's judicial system.

thats what terrifies me so much about religious people in office. in this guys world view, that statement is literally true to him. he believes if they screw up and execute an innocent through this process that it is ok in the end because god will send that person to heaven anyway, which may even be better than their current life here on earth. its very scary as someone who does not believe in their version of religion to think that these sorts of people could hold my life in their hands.


And this is why religion should never be involved in the judicial process.
 
2013-04-30 02:00:04 PM

Satanic_Hamster: I don't think they think that or even think that deeply. They honestly don't consider there's a possibility that an innocent person could be convicted. I mean, what are the odds that the police, the prosecutor, the judge, AND a jury would all make the same mistake? I mean, come one! It's impossible. farker obviously did it.


i used to think that too, mostly because i could not easily wrap my mind around people believing something that on its face seems to ridiculous. i thought for a long time that the religious people who say things like this were wrapping their true, cynical motivations for doing things in the cloak of religion to make it more morally acceptable to themselves and their peers. But as i get older and have more discussions with people who i believe hold real religious faith and are not dissembling to me, i've grown to believe that a lot of these folks honestly do buy into the religious ideals on their face, and not just as an excuse.
 
2013-04-30 02:01:29 PM

Virulency: privatize it probably... cuz the free market is the best for justice


Always been curious why that hasn't happened.  I mean, it would be a "good" way to funnel money to lawyers.  Good way/reason to fund the hell out of the criminal defense system.
 
2013-04-30 02:02:40 PM
Christians do love their revenge porn.
 
2013-04-30 02:02:49 PM
How do I know that no-one actually read the article? Because buried at the end is something WAY WORSE:

State Senator Darren Soto tried on Friday to raise the required jury vote from seven to 10 for death penalties. He said Florida is the only state allowing juries to recommend death by a simple majority of 7 to 5. He said Alabama is the only other state allowing non-unanimous death recommendations, which he said require 10 votes there.

Seriously? What the hell? This is a pretty good general rule: if the sentence "Alabama and (insert our state here) are the only states who .....", generally that's a sign that you should stop doing whatever it is you're doing.
 
2013-04-30 02:02:56 PM

tlchwi02: thats what terrifies me so much about religious people in office. in this guys world view, that statement is literally true to him. he believes if they screw up and execute an innocent through this process that it is ok in the end because god will send that person to heaven anyway, which may even be better than their current life here on earth. its very scary as someone who does not believe in their version of religion to think that these sorts of people could hold my life in their hands.


So it's not the actual death penalty that's the problem (which is the actual issue at hand), but religion. Nevermind that there are a ton of religious organizations against the death penalty.

It's like a Godwin rule for Fark - every thread eventually will devolve into some sort of religious flamewar by a bunch of smug atheists bashing Christianity (and Islam to a lesser extent, but they're always quick to point out how much worse Christians are).
 
2013-04-30 02:03:41 PM
How is an "express death row" in any way Constitutional?
 
2013-04-30 02:04:39 PM
Sounds like more like they're jealous of the federal executive branch using drones. Heck the feds don't even bother with the trial or appeals.
 
2013-04-30 02:05:02 PM
we need a word for christian sharia.
 
2013-04-30 02:05:38 PM

qgmonkey: I'm OK with this.  We have 330 million people here, and it's expensive to provide for a prisoner for life.  Why not cull the herd?


Because it shakes out to be more expensive to apply a death sentence than it is to let the guy rot for a term of his natural life. Someone on death row might be there a decade or more while the appeals keep going; someone jailed "for life" is less likely to file an appeal with everyone from dogcatcher to governor's mistress.

If you want to cull the herd, there are FAR better, faster, and easier means of doing so than the death penalty.
 
2013-04-30 02:06:13 PM
The death penalty system as it exists is stupid. Let me suggest an alternative.

1. Rank everyone within the prison system from #1 to #1,186,052 or whatever.

2. When you get sentenced, you just get a rank, no set sentence time. If you put secret compartments in cars, you get #5,000. If you just raped and killed a 5 year old, you get #1,182,000. Everyone below you gets bumped down.

3. There is a set maximum capacity for the the entire prison system, say 1,200,000. When we go over capacity, we just execute #1,200,000-#1,200,018 in a batch.

4. At the other end, #1-#1000 are released each week.

5. You get bumped up for good behavior. You get bumped down for ordering hits from the comfort of your cell. Yes, due process still happens. You get bumped up automatically as you serve time.

Everyone wins. No hand wringing from the jury over whether this guy deserves to die. No idiotic mandatory minimums. Statistical analysis of judges become trivial.
 
2013-04-30 02:08:23 PM

I_Am_Weasel: If God wanted people put to death, wouldn't he just go ahead and do it?


Evidently, he was an early proponent of outsourcing.
 
2013-04-30 02:09:06 PM
Meh.  This is just another example of why the "Florida" tag still trumps "Weird" on FARK.  Rather than accept Federal health care funding that would extend coverage to 1.1 million citizens, the Legislature has budgeted for 115,000 to receive some sort of cash stipend.

/Governor Batboy's stipulation that they must pee in a cup first is still in court, I think
 
2013-04-30 02:09:06 PM
Just give them all Life and put some lawyers out of work.
Murder's illegal, but the state's happy to engage in it?
Rape's illegal, but prison rape isn't?
farked up system we got here.
 
2013-04-30 02:09:52 PM

optimus_grime: we need a word for christian sharia.


Uh, modern Republicans?
 
2013-04-30 02:09:52 PM
Sidebar WTF...

s3.reutersmedia.net

Indian Bukakke?

/Also, this article...one word: Florida
 
2013-04-30 02:10:08 PM
But Republican Senator Rob Bradley said, "this is not about guilt or innocence"

Well, he's absolutely right about that.
 
2013-04-30 02:10:41 PM

Dr Dreidel: qgmonkey: I'm OK with this.  We have 330 million people here, and it's expensive to provide for a prisoner for life.  Why not cull the herd?

Because it shakes out to be more expensive to apply a death sentence than it is to let the guy rot for a term of his natural life. Someone on death row might be there a decade or more while the appeals keep going; someone jailed "for life" is less likely to file an appeal with everyone from dogcatcher to governor's mistress.

If you want to cull the herd, there are FAR better, faster, and easier means of doing so than the death penalty.


What we really need is Judge Dredd style justice. Especially when this population doubles or triples - prison can simply not keep up as life spans are extended.
 
2013-04-30 02:11:50 PM

Hydra: So it's not the actual death penalty that's the problem (which is the actual issue at hand), but religion. Nevermind that there are a ton of religious organizations against the death penalty.

It's like a Godwin rule for Fark - every thread eventually will devolve into some sort of religious flamewar by a bunch of smug atheists bashing Christianity (and Islam to a lesser extent, but they're always quick to point out how much worse Christians are).


well in this case he literally invoked the name of the allmighty as his argument for reducing the ability of people to stave off of their executions because his reasoning is that god is the one who will judge them (in the afterlife) and therefore they should decrease the time between human judgement and almighty judgement. but you know, if reading the article is too hard, reading the headline is obviously off the table.
 
2013-04-30 02:11:51 PM

tlchwi02: i used to think that too, mostly because i could not easily wrap my mind around people believing something that on its face seems to ridiculous. i thought for a long time that the religious people who say things like this were wrapping their true, cynical motivations for doing things in the cloak of religion to make it more morally acceptable to themselves and their peers. But as i get older and have more discussions with people who i believe hold real religious faith and are not dissembling to me, i've grown to believe that a lot of these folks honestly do buy into the religious ideals on their face, and not just as an excuse.


In my experience, from the various highly religious / right wing derper people I know, they almost always think that any person accused is 100 percent no question guilty.  They honestly don't think an innocent person could be convicted.   They just want immediate revenge/punishment on the scumbag who did it.
 
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