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(Buzzfeed)   19 signs you've been a vegan too long. Number 1: You're a vegan   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 345
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16463 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2013 at 3:34 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-30 11:52:21 AM
20.  you don't eat vegemite cause what's that i've heard of it but i never actually tried it
 
2013-04-30 12:00:31 PM
21. You get easily offended when someone says "They want to bone you,"
 
2013-04-30 01:56:13 PM
I've got to say that vegans are an easy target for good-natured ribbing and joshing. And I'll be honest...I was really questioning myself when I made the conversion. I mean, I'm a barbecue fiend. I barbecue all the time. Doesn't matter what style...North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia...if it's barbecue, I cook it. And so I was really worried about what it would be like to have that first barbecue of the season and not have a big heaping platter of hot dogs and burgers to throw on the grill. But I'll tell you something...I fired up the ol' Hibachi and opened up that pack of tofu burgers, and I went with some of the classic sauces...a little A1, a little Bulls Eye for some real heat, you know, and I didn't hear anyone complain. A burger's a burger, when you come right down to it. It's all barbecue, as they say in the south, so it's all good.
 
2013-04-30 02:02:58 PM
2. You know the unfortunate secret that a little bit of vagenaise makes everything taste better.

FTFY
 
2013-04-30 02:12:09 PM

blatz514: 2. You know the unfortunate secret that a little bit of vagenaise makes everything taste better.

FTFY


I just threw up in my mouth.
 
2013-04-30 02:35:03 PM
You know how you know somebody is a vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2013-04-30 02:44:30 PM
Most of the hardcore vegans I've ever met look pretty much like meth addicts, just minus the open sores.
 
2013-04-30 03:36:37 PM
The first rule of Vegan Club is always talk about Vegan Club
 
2013-04-30 03:36:51 PM
*reads through crappy list*

I know what casein is and I'm not vegan. This article is way far up its own steak and potatoes ass.
 
2013-04-30 03:37:04 PM

Pocket Ninja: I've got to say that vegans are an easy target for good-natured ribbing and joshing. And I'll be honest...I was really questioning myself when I made the conversion. I mean, I'm a barbecue fiend. I barbecue all the time. Doesn't matter what style...North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia...if it's barbecue, I cook it. And so I was really worried about what it would be like to have that first barbecue of the season and not have a big heaping platter of hot dogs and burgers to throw on the grill. But I'll tell you something...I fired up the ol' Hibachi and opened up that pack of tofu burgers, and I went with some of the classic sauces...a little A1, a little Bulls Eye for some real heat, you know, and I didn't hear anyone complain. A burger's a burger, when you come right down to it. It's all barbecue, as they say in the south, so it's all good.


Son, you ain't right in the haid.
 
2013-04-30 03:37:18 PM
How can you tell if someone is a vegan?

Just wait a moment, they'll tell you.

It's one thing to be in a restaurant and ask if there are any vegan options available, but what is with vegans having this need to bring it up in every damn conversation?
 
2013-04-30 03:38:09 PM
I'm not a vegan, but I will often eat cold tofu as a snack. A side of rice and a ginger/soy sauce for dipping. Mmmmm...my mouth is watering just thinking about it.
 
2013-04-30 03:38:53 PM

Pocket Ninja: I've got to say that vegans are an easy target for good-natured ribbing and joshing. And I'll be honest...I was really questioning myself when I made the conversion. I mean, I'm a barbecue fiend. I barbecue all the time. Doesn't matter what style...North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia...if it's barbecue, I cook it. And so I was really worried about what it would be like to have that first barbecue of the season and not have a big heaping platter of hot dogs and burgers to throw on the grill. But I'll tell you something...I fired up the ol' Hibachi and opened up that pack of tofu burgers, and I went with some of the classic sauces...a little A1, a little Bulls Eye for some real heat, you know, and I didn't hear anyone complain. A burger's a burger, when you come right down to it. It's all barbecue, as they say in the south, so it's all good.


"You don't make friends with salad! You don't make friends with salad!"
 
2013-04-30 03:39:12 PM
I don't care that you're a vegan or what you eat.  Just don't preach to me about it or about the foods I elect to eat.
 
2013-04-30 03:39:21 PM

Pocket Ninja: I've got to say that vegans are an easy target for good-natured ribbing and joshing. And I'll be honest...I was really questioning myself when I made the conversion. I mean, I'm a barbecue fiend. I barbecue all the time. Doesn't matter what style...North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia...if it's barbecue, I cook it. And so I was really worried about what it would be like to have that first barbecue of the season and not have a big heaping platter of hot dogs and burgers to throw on the grill. But I'll tell you something...I fired up the ol' Hibachi and opened up that pack of tofu burgers, and I went with some of the classic sauces...a little A1, a little Bulls Eye for some real heat, you know, and I didn't hear anyone complain. A burger's a burger, when you come right down to it. It's all barbecue, as they say in the south, so it's all good.


Nice job.
 
2013-04-30 03:39:29 PM
BIL and significant other were vegans for about ten years.  Recently began eating meat....now trying to school me on the best cuts of meat, eating organic, local sourcing....blah blah blah.  Rolls eyes.

Most recently converted...most zealous...etc etc
 
2013-04-30 03:39:30 PM

OgreMagi: How can you tell if someone is a vegan?

Just wait a moment, they'll tell you.

It's one thing to be in a restaurant and ask if there are any vegan options available, but what is with vegans having this need to bring it up in every damn conversation?


That's a logical fallacy. You're not counting all the vegans you meet who don't bring it up.
 
2013-04-30 03:39:57 PM

Pocket Ninja: I've got to say that vegans are an easy target for good-natured ribbing and joshing. And I'll be honest...I was really questioning myself when I made the conversion. I mean, I'm a barbecue fiend. I barbecue all the time. Doesn't matter what style...North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia...if it's barbecue, I cook it. And so I was really worried about what it would be like to have that first barbecue of the season and not have a big heaping platter of hot dogs and burgers to throw on the grill. But I'll tell you something...I fired up the ol' Hibachi and opened up that pack of tofu burgers, and I went with some of the classic sauces...a little A1, a little Bulls Eye for some real heat, you know, and I didn't hear anyone complain. A burger's a burger, when you come right down to it. It's all barbecue, as they say in the south, so it's all good.


My wife is a vegetarian. For myself, I gave up beef and pork years ago. I will only eat chicken now if at an Indian or Thai restaurant.
With that being said. These things are amazing: http://www.morningstarfarms.com/products/burgers/chipotle-black-bean- b urger
I know they are not vegan. Put these on a bun with the usual tomatoes, pickles etc....incredible.
I usually enjoy them with a Fat Tire or Sierra Nevada Torpedo.
 
2013-04-30 03:41:02 PM

OgreMagi: It's one thing to be in a restaurant and ask if there are any vegan options available, but what is with vegans having this need to bring it up in every damn conversation?


I think it;s a convert thing.  My (hindu) Indian friends don't talk about vegetarianism very often, but damned if my friends who converted during college didn't bring it up every five minutes.  And you don't want to be around someone who has just found religion or given up smoking either.
 
2013-04-30 03:41:57 PM
<--Former Vegan

The list wasn't too bad. Cept #1, which is TOTAL bullshiat. Tofu (by itself) is nasty. It REQUIRES other things with it to be edible. It takes the flavor of whatever you add to it.

You can make a badass Mac and Cheese dish/Queso with Nutritional yeast though!

/Cookbooks, Vegans, USE THEM!
 
2013-04-30 03:41:57 PM
Could never go full vegan.

Went vegetarian for a while in college, because I was dating a hot girl who was into that. I know, I know, but we're talking seriously hot here. I'm not saying it was worth it, but it was close.

The secret to survival? Tofu tacos. Easy to make, and I cover my taco meat in so much spice and hot sauce to begin with that you can barely tell what kind of animal it was supposed to be to begin with. Spice the tofu to hell, include generous portions of refried beans and guac, and you'll get by. For a while at least.
 
2013-04-30 03:42:02 PM
#21: The tendency to have less protein in your diet causes your mental activity to slow to a crawl until you reach the point that you think clicking on buzzfeed links is a good idea
 
2013-04-30 03:42:07 PM
Number 21: Subby is a prick who can't stand when other people live their lives differently than his own.

/not vegan
 
2013-04-30 03:42:25 PM

OgreMagi: what is with


I don't know. Why are jagovs always telling me how to cook my steaks, and also what not to put on it?
 
2013-04-30 03:43:09 PM

mafiageek1980: The list wasn't too bad. Cept #1, which is TOTAL bullshiat. Tofu (by itself) is nasty. It REQUIRES other things with it to be edible. It takes the flavor of whatever you add to it.


Bullshiat.  Raw tofu, yeah, it's pretty shiatty.  But just fry it up a little and it's delish.

/not vegetarian but eats tofu often
 
2013-04-30 03:43:21 PM

OgreMagi: It's one thing to be in a restaurant and ask if there are any vegan options available, but what is with vegans having this need to bring it up in every damn conversation?


They're hungry. Talking about their diet is a way to distract themsleves from that gnawing feeling in the pit of their stomachs that never goes away.
 
2013-04-30 03:44:13 PM

fireclown: OgreMagi: It's one thing to be in a restaurant and ask if there are any vegan options available, but what is with vegans having this need to bring it up in every damn conversation?

I think it;s a convert thing.  My (hindu) Indian friends don't talk about vegetarianism very often, but damned if my friends who converted during college didn't bring it up every five minutes.  And you don't want to be around someone who has just found religion or given up smoking either.


VeganNazi's. My way or the highway.
Those people need to realize they are not going to change the health of society with the all or nothing approach.
If this country just ate less meat, and put some more fresh fruits and veggies in their bodies it would be a win for all.
 
2013-04-30 03:44:13 PM

Pocket Ninja: I've got to say that vegans are an easy target for good-natured ribbing and joshing. And I'll be honest...I was really questioning myself when I made the conversion. I mean, I'm a barbecue fiend. I barbecue all the time. Doesn't matter what style...North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia...if it's barbecue, I cook it. And so I was really worried about what it would be like to have that first barbecue of the season and not have a big heaping platter of hot dogs and burgers to throw on the grill. But I'll tell you something...I fired up the ol' Hibachi and opened up that pack of tofu burgers, and I went with some of the classic sauces...a little A1, a little Bulls Eye for some real heat, you know, and I didn't hear anyone complain. A burger's a burger, when you come right down to it. It's all barbecue, as they say in the south, so it's all good.


How long has it been?
 
2013-04-30 03:44:15 PM

natmar_76: OgreMagi: what is with

I don't know. Why are jagovs always telling me how to cook my steaks, and also what not to put on it?


I don't care what you put on it as long as it is A.1. Bold & Spicy.
 
2013-04-30 03:44:17 PM

OgreMagi: How can you tell if someone is a vegan?

Just wait a moment, they'll tell you.

It's one thing to be in a restaurant and ask if there are any vegan options available, but what is with vegans having this need to bring it up in every damn conversation?


I've been thinking about this, and about people who are on diets always talking about their diets.

My conclusion is that they have to talk about it all the time to avoid falling off the wagon.

If you are constantly making a big deal about how you are vegan, it may be the only thing keeping you from eating meat when you are out at a restaurant. You use the potential of shame as a crutch to get past the temptation.

Same goes for any unsual or restrictive diet. You tell people that you aren't eating sweets (for example) and then you can't grab the pastries in the break room because everyone will know you are breaking your own word.
 
2013-04-30 03:44:20 PM
I can't figure out why several of the vegans I know are grossly overweight. Not just a little fat, but morbidly obese. Anyone?
 
2013-04-30 03:44:40 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: mafiageek1980: The list wasn't too bad. Cept #1, which is TOTAL bullshiat. Tofu (by itself) is nasty. It REQUIRES other things with it to be edible. It takes the flavor of whatever you add to it.

Bullshiat.  Raw tofu, yeah, it's pretty shiatty.  But just fry it up a little and it's delish.

/not vegetarian but eats tofu often


That's what I mean: Raw tofu is nasty. You are right: Fried tofu is awesome, esp in Thai dishes!
 
2013-04-30 03:44:51 PM

ryant123: Pocket Ninja: I've got to say that vegans are an easy target for good-natured ribbing and joshing. And I'll be honest...I was really questioning myself when I made the conversion. I mean, I'm a barbecue fiend. I barbecue all the time. Doesn't matter what style...North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia...if it's barbecue, I cook it. And so I was really worried about what it would be like to have that first barbecue of the season and not have a big heaping platter of hot dogs and burgers to throw on the grill. But I'll tell you something...I fired up the ol' Hibachi and opened up that pack of tofu burgers, and I went with some of the classic sauces...a little A1, a little Bulls Eye for some real heat, you know, and I didn't hear anyone complain. A burger's a burger, when you come right down to it. It's all barbecue, as they say in the south, so it's all good.

Nice job.


I like the subtle double-dip of calling it barbecue and then talking about firing up a grill.  Farking genius.
 
2013-04-30 03:45:23 PM

Pocket Ninja: I've got to say that vegans are an easy target for good-natured ribbing and joshing. And I'll be honest...I was really questioning myself when I made the conversion. I mean, I'm a barbecue fiend. I barbecue all the time. Doesn't matter what style...North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia...if it's barbecue, I cook it. And so I was really worried about what it would be like to have that first barbecue of the season and not have a big heaping platter of hot dogs and burgers to throw on the grill. But I'll tell you something...I fired up the ol' Hibachi and opened up that pack of tofu burgers, and I went with some of the classic sauces...a little A1, a little Bulls Eye for some real heat, you know, and I didn't hear anyone complain. A burger's a burger, when you come right down to it. It's all barbecue, as they say in the south, so it's all good.


BBQ is not synonymous to grilling!

/Brilliant troll!
 
2013-04-30 03:46:02 PM
Deep fried everything.
 
2013-04-30 03:46:12 PM

mafiageek1980: <--Former Vegan

The list wasn't too bad. Cept #1, which is TOTAL bullshiat. Tofu (by itself) is nasty. It REQUIRES other things with it to be edible. It takes the flavor of whatever you add to it.

You can make a badass Mac and Cheese dish/Queso with Nutritional yeast though!

/Cookbooks, Vegans, USE THEM!


Go to a nice restaurant in Japan. You will sometimes be served a side dish consisting of fresh, soft tofu, with possibly a bit of grated ginger around the base, and a bit of soy sauce to drizzle on top.
 
2013-04-30 03:46:33 PM

Fonaibung: I can't figure out why several of the vegans I know are grossly overweight. Not just a little fat, but morbidly obese. Anyone?


Because people are stupid enough to think that being a Vegan=automatically healthy to where you don't have to get off your ass and workout.

Oh yeah, and like the article listed: There are a LOT of Vegan products are that 100% junk food.
 
2013-04-30 03:46:35 PM
s3.amazonaws.com

"We are gonna be delicious."
 
2013-04-30 03:46:47 PM
Question: how do vegans get omega 3?

/I'm curious and we're having this thread so hey
 
2013-04-30 03:46:48 PM

Wade_Wilson: Could never go full vegan.

Went vegetarian for a while in college, because I was dating a hot girl who was into that. I know, I know, but we're talking seriously hot here. I'm not saying it was worth it, but it was close.

The secret to survival? Tofu tacos. Easy to make, and I cover my taco meat in so much spice and hot sauce to begin with that you can barely tell what kind of animal it was supposed to be to begin with. Spice the tofu to hell, include generous portions of refried beans and guac, and you'll get by. For a while at least.


Hahahahahahaha
I was in the same boat in college.
The things we do for the kitty.
 
2013-04-30 03:46:50 PM

OgreMagi: It's one thing to be in a restaurant and ask if there are any vegan options available, but what is with vegans having this need to bring it up in every damn conversation?


I have friends that will know me for years, even eating out with me dozens of times, before knowing that I am - generally because they're really insistent at some point or another about how awesome some particular steak place is, and try to drag me there with them.  Otherwise, I just order my food, more or less like anyone else would.

But hey, you're a poor suffering soul, oppressed by their non-animal-consumption.  It's cool, we sympathize.
 
2013-04-30 03:47:28 PM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com

+

farm1.staticflickr.com

=

Vegenegg?
 
2013-04-30 03:47:37 PM
Why would soy sauce be a problem for vegans? Also, I'd never in my life heard of veganaise before reading this article. I won't even Google it, no I won't.

/ Had salmon skewers and portobello mushrooms with goat cheese for dinner tonight. Shared with a friend. Yummy.
 
2013-04-30 03:48:35 PM

Ringshadow: Question: how do vegans get omega 3?

/I'm curious and we're having this thread so hey


Flax
 
2013-04-30 03:48:50 PM

lockers: Pocket Ninja: I've got to say that vegans are an easy target for good-natured ribbing and joshing. And I'll be honest...I was really questioning myself when I made the conversion. I mean, I'm a barbecue fiend. I barbecue all the time. Doesn't matter what style...North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia...if it's barbecue, I cook it. And so I was really worried about what it would be like to have that first barbecue of the season and not have a big heaping platter of hot dogs and burgers to throw on the grill. But I'll tell you something...I fired up the ol' Hibachi and opened up that pack of tofu burgers, and I went with some of the classic sauces...a little A1, a little Bulls Eye for some real heat, you know, and I didn't hear anyone complain. A burger's a burger, when you come right down to it. It's all barbecue, as they say in the south, so it's all good.

BBQ is not synonymous to grilling!

/Brilliant troll!


i think he went too far with the hibachi.  but, over all, excellent effort.  if you had a different handle, it would probably get a few more bites
 
2013-04-30 03:48:59 PM
 
2013-04-30 03:49:03 PM

mafiageek1980: Fonaibung: I can't figure out why several of the vegans I know are grossly overweight. Not just a little fat, but morbidly obese. Anyone?

Because people are stupid enough to think that being a Vegan=automatically healthy to where you don't have to get off your ass and workout.


But that's the thing: 80-90% of weight loss is diet. A vegan diet is less calorie dense (or at least it should be). It takes a LOT of farking food to get that fat. I just don't understand how someone can manage it.

I mean yeah, if I'm eating ~240 g of protein a day from meat sources (which I do), then I can see why I'm gaining weight... But eating mostly high-fiber vegetables, beans, and tofu.... I don't think I could quite manage to maintain weight, much less pack it on. My friends are doing something farked up.
 
2013-04-30 03:49:14 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: #21: The tendency to have less protein in your diet causes your mental activity to slow to a crawl until you reach the point that you think clicking on buzzfeed links is a good idea


That's not the lack of protein, but the lack of micro-nutrients like creatine and usually fat as well.
 
2013-04-30 03:49:43 PM
13. You honestly think that Boca burgers "taste a lot like meat."


These actually taste better than McRibs.
farm3.static.flickr.com
Of course, used condoms probably taste better than McRibs.
 
2013-04-30 03:49:51 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: But just fry it up a little and it's delish.

/not vegetarian but eats tofu often


I triple-dog dare you to "just fry it up" with an oil that is known for a neutral taste (such as refined avocado oil), and come back to us with the results.  No spices, no nothin else, just tofu.  It's really really quite bland - regardless how it is cooked.

/vegan, but rarely eats tofu
 
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